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Tony149

Zero Hour 2006

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TV-14

L,V

 

* DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA *

 

Across a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat on his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the computer...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid's shock and delight.

oao2.jpg

 

THE OAOAST...WHAT THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD IS READING~!

------------------------------------------------------------

 

NARRATOR

The following takes place between 8:00PM and 11:00PM.

 

zerohour06.jpg

 

We fade into a shot of a jam-packed Staples Center. The crowd, seeing themselves on the big screens live on PPV, go nuts.

 

PYRO~!

PYRO~!

PYRO~!

PYRO BARRAGE~!

 

SCHAIVONE (Off-Screen)

They are jammed to the rafters inside the Staples Center for Zero Hour! The road to AngleMania V makes a pit stop in beautiful Los Angeles, California.

 

LIVE

 

ZERO HOUR

STAPLES CENTER

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA

 

The cheering intensifies and is heard even over the noise of the fireworks as they explode around the entrance and from the ring posts. The camera sweeps around the arena and it's screaming fans, catching such signage as "HI-YAH ZACK ATTACK!" and "Brock [x], PK [At AngleMania] GO ALF!" We head over to the interview stage where Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura stand.

 

TONY SCHIAVONE

Hi again, everyone. Tony Schiavone standing here as always with Jesse "The Body" Ventura. This must be like coming home for you, Jesse.

 

VENTURA

No doubt Tony. LaLa land has always been a friend to "The Body" and tonight, the OAOAST is taking Hollywood by storm with a huge card for everyone here and out in TV Land watching us live.

 

TONY

We've got FIVE OAOAST titles on the line tonight, topped off by Christian Wright defending his HI-YAH Heavyweight title against the OAOAST's most popular superstar Zack Malibu!

 

VENTURA

Zack's no stranger to holding the top titles in this buisness, but he's got quite a challenge ahead of him in Christian Wright. And don't forget having to deal with Bohemoth as the special referee, Tony.

 

TONY

Also, hometown homegirls Chicks over Dicks square off against The New New Midnight Express for the World Tag Team Championships!

 

VENTURA

Well, I know two teams who will be watching that match very closely.

 

TONY

Of course, you are speaking of both the Heavenly Rockers and the Sooner Bruisers, who will square off tonight to determine the winner of the 2006 Anderson Cup, the winners of which will receive a World Tag title shot at AngleMania.

 

VENTURA

Gee Tony, how'd you guess?

 

TONY

We've got a lot more in store tonigh.......

 

Suddenly, the opening drum and guitar flourish of Metalingus blasts over the PA system and the crowd instincively begins to boo as a spotlight is shone on a single luxury box.

 

TONY

Well, we know who this is.

 

VENTURA

The Heavyweight Champion of the World.

 

The booing intensifies as OAOAST World Champion Peter Knight appears in the box, dressed casually in a powder blue polo shirt and tan pants. He walks up to the opened window of the box and raises the OAOAST World Title belt into the air.

 

TONY

Doesn't he look comfortable?

 

VENTURA

Hey, the guy isn't on the card, so why not enjoy the fruits of being a champion? Hell, I heard Axel set up quite a spread up there, so if you don't mind.....

 

TONY

Wait....Jesse...we're not.....

 

Ventura walks out of frame as a puzzled Schiavone looks on.

 

TONY

Well, it looks like my partner has had his say about tonight's card, so let's throw it over to the three men who will call the action. Triple C, over to you.

 

(Cut to Sofa Central)

 

MICHAEL COLE

Thanks Tony. Once again, good evening and welcome to Zero Hour. Michael Cole here alongside Jonathan Coachman and Caboose, as always. Guys, lots of Hollywood celebrities in the crowd tonight. I believe Keifer Sutherland, who of course plays Jack Bauer on the hit show 24 is sitting just a few rows behind us here.

 

COACH

Jack's here? Why isn't he looking for the nerve gas? Lynn's gonna get mad.

 

CABOOSE

...You do know that show is fiction, right?

 

COACH

Like that fat kid said, "It's still real to me!"

 

We quickly cut to Peter Knight sitting in his skybox, feet up and enjoying a glass of champagne.

 

COLE

Another shot of OAOAST World Champion Peter Knight in his luxury box, where he will enjoy tonight's show. No Coach, you can't go up there.

 

COACH

Dang.

 

CABOOSE

It's a long way from there to the ring, so at least the guy will stay out of everyone's buisness tonight.

 

COACH

Ah, don't worry about me. There's plenty of time for an Upstarts victory party later tonight when both Brock and Christian win their matches tonight.

 

COLE

Big show in store for you, so let's kick it off! We have reached...ZERO HOUR!!!

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The arena goes dark with the exception of an ominous purple light hanging across the entrance stage. The horrible, horrible, horrible, song that is Chase reverberates from the Staples Center speakers, causing the boo birds to descend from their nest, and converge their hatred upon the appearing wrestlers, The Midnight Express. With Jim Cornette positioned behind them, Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard stand at the top of the ramp, their sparkling vests shielding the impressive musculature they possess. Sneers etched across their faces, they stick their titles into the air, dead certain they'll be leaving the arena with them in their possession. As the camera shifts to Michael Buffer, the gentlemen, in cute little white tights, casually stroll to the ring.

 

zerohourTAGWITHJADE.jpg

 

BUFFER

The following contest is for the professional wrestling tag team titles, and has a pay per view time limit of sixty minutes! Introducing the champions being accompanied by Jim Cornette, first from Charleston, South Carolina, he weighs in at two hundred and twenty five pounds, he is The Sultan of Sarcasm, Simon Singleton! And his partner, from Beverly Hills, California, he is The Handsome Hustler, Ned Blanchard! Together they are three time tag team champions of the world, they are THE NEW NEW MIDNIGHT EXPRESSSSSSSS!

 

The audience makes no bones about expressing their displeasure for the Midnights, booing their hearts out at these hated villains. Simon simply jams his finger into his belt, his high handed way of letting the fans know who's the champ and who's not. Ned gets onto the ring apron, all his thoughts focused on the task of besting the mother of his child. Despite being a native of LA, Blanchard's crowd reception is so frosty it would make an Eskimo cold.

 

COACH

It's time to pay respect to the big guy, Axel! The man knows Chicks Over Dicks equals money, and he knows the Midnight Express equal money, put them together in a tag title match and what do you get? Big money! Time to recognize it, Boozy!

 

CABOOSE

Don't be dumb. Any monkey with access to a booking sheet could've thought to put these two together.

 

COLE

Well, these squads have more then their fair share of bad blood between them! Ned and Krista have a long history together that Alix and Simon have been dragged into. And it all comes to head here tonight for the tag team titles! Folks, don't forget that this Thursday from Saint Louis, Missoura, Alix Spezia and Christian Wright will meet in a debate over proper role modelling. That is if Christian is still able to talk after my man Zack is done with him!

 

COACH

Bitch, please. You talking crazy talk. Zack's got nothing on C-Dub.

 

Chase (thankfully) cut outs, and the only noise is now provided by the ear piercing screams of anticipation that are loud enough to send shivers down any man's spine. Rollicking chants of C-O-D are already the order of the day, as the audience impatiently awaits the arrival of their treasured hometown girls, Chicks Over Dicks.

 

COLE

Would you listen to the crowd? No question about it, LA is ready for their chicks!

 

The sweetened strands that open pop sensation Britney Spear's And then we kiss play, as a beautiful red pyro fountain rises forth from the stage. It meets with an equally lovely pink pyro waterfall, dropping from the ceiling. As the chorus of the song seeps into the ears of the OAOAST faithful, both the pyrotechnics dissipate, replaced by a booming gold explosion that consumes the entire stage! The doors pull slowly pull apart and through the foggy haze, steps the city of angels favorite daughters, Alix Maria Spezia and Krista Isadora Duncan. The decibel level of the rambunctious fans reaches a record breaking height at the sight of the ultra popular Californians! The girls strike a glorious pose at the top of the entranceway, Alix sinking to her knees in front of Krista who stands legs apart with her hand slid through her yellow locks. Poor Buffer does a number on his vocal chords, straining to be heard over the enraptured hollering...

 

BUFFER

And the challengers, being accompanied by Jade Rodez! First, she is the 2005 female wrestler of the year, Alix Maria Spezia(“YEAAAA”)! And her partner, she is the mind brilliant behind the best selling FIT with KID exercise videos, she is Miss California Krista Isadora Duncan(“YEAAAA”) Together they are America's Sweethearts, and Los Angeles they are your very own....CHICKS OVER DICKS!

 

The fans, every one of them on their feet, explode with that final announcement, tearing the roof off the arena. The only thing that could make them pop louder is a “and your new tag team champions...” proclamation at the end of the contest. Alix,outfitted in a glittering red halter top and matching hot mini skirt, rocks her body back and forth, whipping the audience into an even further frenzy. Krista, in her diamond studded black leather tank top and black pants, keeps her ocean blue eyes locked in deadly determination on The Handsome Hustler.

 

COACH

Damn. Krista needs the Coach in her life. I'm what's familiar. She's used to rolling with battery operated warriors. Well Coach is like Energizer, he just keeps going and going.

 

Jade, wearing a black OAOAST hockey jersey and faded jeans, is awestruck by the noise level, soaking up as much of the delirious atmosphere as she possibly can. But her attention is quickly captured by the sleazy Ned Blanchard. Still fearful of the tag champion, she positions herself as far away from him as she can get. Krista assures her worried friend that everything will be ok, as the referee moves to get this match underway.

 

DING DING DING

 

The bout begins with Alix Spezia and Simon Singleton. Unable to collect his thoughts over the deafening shouts of the excited audience, the normally cocksure Singleton is tentative in his movements, affording Alix a chance to draw first blood. Fueled by the same noise that hinders her foe's thought process, she bombards him with four wide left hooks to his ribs. The shots painfully jerk Simon out of his intimidated stupor and he returns fire with speedy right jabs. Every last one of his strikes comes hand in hand with a hearty round boos from the fans, who'd be more then thrilled just to see their hometown homegirls win a quick squash. Sharing their feelings, Alix spiritedly interrupts Simon's jab fest with thudding punches of her own! The spectators react to each attack with the excitement and jubilation they'd display if they'd just witness The Dodgers win the world series. A praticuarly nasty left cross from Alix lands on Simon's cheek, awkwardly contorting the skin on his face, and leaving him dazed. Ally takes a hold of his arm and before he can regain his bearings, he's hurtling to the ring ropes! In the middle of his return, The Sultan composes himself and attempts to take out her legs with a baseball slide! Ally Cat avoids the sneaky tactic, leaping over Simon's full six feet and one inch, and carrying herself to the cables. Her return sees her bull towards Singleton, head lowered, and nostrils flaring. Rather then have her impale his testicles, he leapfrogs the perky diva and lets her continue traveling the ropes. As she nears him once more, Simon falls onto his back, telegraphing a possible monkey flip! Ally Cat decides to show off for her fellow Californians, using a picturesque frontward flip to sail over his curled up frame! While the fans and Jade bath her in applause, she rises to a full vertical base, then heads to the ropes once again. The elasticity's of the cables launch her and her lariat at Simon at full force! Avoiding what could be nose shattering move, he slinks bellow her attacking arm and dashes to the ropes, who are getting quite the workout! As he closes the distance gap between them, he slides into her in a wheelbarrow set-up. Having danced to this music before, Spezia nonchalantly catches him in her arms. Lulling him into a false sense of security, she permits the Sarcastic one to form the makings of a wheelbarrow bulldog. It's only at the height of the aerial move does she unveil her tricky plan. She lets go of his legs, then switches him into a modified wasitlock, moving incredibly quickly so as not to lose her grip. Left at the mercy of an unmerciful rival, Simon screams in horror as Alix falls backwards, and smashes him against the hard as granite canvas with a modified German Suplex!

 

“LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!”

 

While Simon's left to writhe in misery on the mat, Ned Blanchard, ignoring the meek protests of referee Billy Silverman, interjects himself into the fray! The recipient of a strong chorale of boos, Ned plows towards Alix, zeroing in on our heroine with a viscous lariat! Much to his chagrin, Ally artfully sweeps underneath his arm. While his annoying miss clumsily staggers him forward, she darts off to the ropes. Clearly angered over having misfired, he whips around to pummel his returning enemy with a discus punch. Yet before he can even properly curl his fist, her tanned legs curl themselves around his thick neck in a vice grip worthy tightness. He soon experiences a feeling like he's being choked to death while riding a rollercoaster, as Ally's powerful legs take him for a nauseating spinning head scissors!

 

CABOOSE

As we can see the girls are really bringing it to Ned and Simon early on.

 

COACH

And and I can see, Alix needs to bring a hamburger or two to her stomach! Babygirl's looking fine, but she needs to get some meat on them bones! I gotta have little something to grab onto when I pull up to the bumper and smack that monkey.

 

As Ned rolls out of ring begging for a barf bag, The Sultan, having recovered from his physical wounds, now tries to alleviate the scars to his pride by charging at Alix with a shoulder tackle! But mere seconds before Simon's muscular arm can pulverize Alix, Krista Isadora Duncan intercepts his incoming missile with a beautiful spring board blockbuster! Alix gets on her knees and worships her partner, and Kris promptly stands up and bows to her adoring the public. Before the match can degenerate into a total debacle in his enemies favor, Double S, clutching his hurt neck, frantically scampers out of the ring.

 

“KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!”

 

Backs against the wall, an entire city turned against them, momentum nowhere near their side, and their tag title reign in mortal danger of meeting a fast demise, Ned and Simon do not reside in an enviable position, and no man realizes this depressing fact than Jim Cornette. Beads of nervous sweat shooting off his wrinkled forehead, Jimmy anxiously calls his hurting charges over to discuss strategy. While this huddle may be well intentioned, their being in a condensed group carries a catastrophic vulnerability seen by everyone but the men it affects the most. More then happy to exploit their hazardous position, Krista calls Jade, who's beside herself with delight to be included in the mayhem, into the squared circle. Operating in flawless concert with one another, the popular trio take several bounds to ropes to build speed for their planned high risk/high reward assault. As the girls near the edge of battleground, they vault through the sky, clearing the ropes, and extending their slender bodies out for majestic stereo swanton bombs! White flashes from the wealth of cameras decorate the arena, as a chilling terror drains all the blood from Cornette's pudgy face. Ned and Simon barely have a moment to register their advance, before the feminine bombs explode onto their landscape!

 

“HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!” chant the crowd, people in the near front row pushing against each other, trying to acquire a better view of the fantastic carnage.

 

COLE

A triple swanton bomb, with little Jade Rodez getting in on the action!

 

COACH

Jade has no business getting involved in this match. If she wants to support Alix and Kris that's fine, but she just landed her entire body on Jim Cornette! Jim Cornette is an innocent bystander, he's just a manager, a coach. You can't attack a coach. I don't see Smush Parker randomly trying to body splash Avery Johnson!

 

CABOOSE

Coach, Jim Cornette should've known better to group them altogether like that. He was just setting them up for a dive to the outside. He has no one to blame but himself.

 

Back in the ring, a slightly recovered Singleton wastes no time in assuming control of the fast-paced bout, ripping through Alix with a massive lariat! The savage shot aids the anti-NNMX crowd in finding their voice. They plaster The Sultan with chants of “Pissbreak Singleton! Pissbreak Singleton!”, throwing in rhythmic clapping after each Singleton to make the insults more musical. Put off by the witless barbs, Si stares daggers at every audience member he can lay his blue eyes on, as he pulls Alix into a standing head scissors. His arms clamp around her slim waist, and he soon foists her into the air for a powerbomb. However Alix is more then capable of defeating what's normally a devastating move. The mega hottie agilely peels off to his side, dips to the mat and stuns him with an arm drag that nearly yanks the limb out of it's socket. Rubbing his sore arm, Simon groggily rises, glancing around desperately for any way out of the ring. Unfortunately the only the exit that comes to him is a rocky trip through the black cables thanks to a crowd popping dropsault by Alix! Dazed and unsure of what just hit him, he slowly stands up on the apron, while Alix ascends to the top turnbuckle. With The Staples Center crowd boisterously rooting her on, the darling Miss Spezia flings herself off the padding, and twists in midair, catching her legs around Simon's neck and snatching the alarmed grappler off the apron with a beautiful hurricanrana to the outside! Double S lands face first in a quivering heap at the base of the apron, while Alix artistically tumbles backwards, waving to the raucous fans who sing,

 

“ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!”

 

With Alix and Simon taken out of the ring, the capacity crowd is blessed with the chance to witness the grandiose matchup their hearts have been lusting to see for over a year. The matchup between Ned Blanchard and Krista Isadora Duncan. Encompassed by an ensemble of chants for the woman he wronged so many years ago, Ned cockily struts across the ring, meeting her icy stare with an audacious smirk. Krista turns to Jade, who offers a word of encouragement, and nods. Then she issues a full throated roar that dares her old flame to come and take his best shot. Ned snarls back, accepting this defiant invite, and runs at her with a clothesline! To the fan's pleasure, Krista catches his attacking arm and flips him through the air with a hiptoss! However the audience's joy sinks to disappointment as the hunky grappler lands solidly on his black shoes. He turns his head towards a dismayed Krissy, and outrages her with an insolent kissy face before trying a hip toss of his own! Yet Krista shows that all is fair in love, war, and hip tosses, frustrating him by landing on her feet. Now it's her turn to aggravate him with an audacious kissy face that pops the standing crowd!

 

COACH

See? She still wants the Ned man. I call sloppy seconds, Nedster!

 

COLE

Good luck with that. Folks, the winners of this match move onto Anglemania to face the winner of the Anderson Cup finals. And I'll be calling that affair with none other then Jesse “The Body” Ventura! I can't wait.

 

Smitten with rage over being one-upped by the woman who always seems to do everything better then he, Ned attempts to decapitate her with the familiar clothesline. But Kris knows Ned like she knows the back of her hand and saw the move coming miles away. Thus she sinks down, hooks her arm between his crotch and pulls him into a standing fireman's carry position. Because his body is already in mid move the only thing Ned can do is allow Krista to take him onto his shoulders, and pray Simon is on his way to free him from this perilous spot. Uttering a growl that cascades shivers down Ned's cowardly spine, Krissy spins Ned out to her side, so that he's facing the beige canvas, then pulls him down, forcing him to endure a gruesome face first meeting with her outstretched knee! The loud smack of the stud muffin's nose colliding with her leather pants echoes throughout the venue and becomes sweet music to the spectators' ears.

 

CABOOSE

Ned and Simon have been unable thus far to weather the early storm brought on by the girls. Thanks to the adrenaline supplied by all their fans, Al and Krista have been able to use the champs as crash test dummies for their ping-pong ball offense.

 

Ned, squealing in pain and terror, quickly lifts himself to a vertical base. The defending champion is bestowed no respite as Krista draws close with a running body splash. But Ned, aided by his strength advantage, overtakes her, hooking onto her neck and pushing her down so that he may grind her attack to screeching halt with a front facelock. Miss Califorina, unlike the crowd who let out a gasp of alarm, is undeterred by the elementary submission hold. Gritting her teeth, she hooks her arm around Ned's free arm, then uses that clutch as a base to spin out of the front facelock! As the fans her applaud her impressive counter, she makes an effort to floor a surprised Ned with a short arm clothesline! But the fellow SoCal native recovers from his moment of shock just in time to whirl behind her and hit a rear waistlock. Never one to pass up an opportunity to put his mac down on a bonafide hottie, Neddy Bear begins to furiously pump his little engine that could into her curvy caboose!

 

“BOOOOOOO!” goes the crowd, although we can't be certain if they're booing because they believe Ned's actions to be deplorable or because they wish they were in his position.

 

COACH

Go on, Hustler! You drive a Cadillac, wear a perm cuz you a G, and you a mother fuc**** P-I-M-P!

 

Krista, like the viewers, is aghast with indignation. Thus she ends the Handsome Hustler's brief foray into the world of simulated anal sex, by whipping behind him in snagging him with her own rear waistlock. As dense and sexually deviant as always, a thrilled grin passes over Ned's lips, as he actually believes she's about to return the favor with some kinky assplay of her own! Yet Blanchard's broad smile quickly morphs into panicked frown as the best selling author breaks her waist lock and lifts him into sky in a backsuplex position! The crowd loudly roars in anticipation for what's coming and the fitness queen doesn't dare disappoint, nearly castrating the three time tag champion with an inverted atomic drop!

 

“K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!”

 

Shaken and miserable, The Hustler stumbles forward, clenching his little warriors, making sure her cruel move hasn't shattered his prized possessions. Perhaps sniffing blood in the air, and sensing a chance to avenge five years of misery, Krista scorches towards Ned like a blond bat out of hell, wraps her hands around his neck, and cruelly snaps it with a reverse neckbreaker! While Ned emits an agony filled groan, she reaches forward to hook his leg for a pinfall

 

CROWD & JADE

ONE!

 

CROWD & JADE

TWO

 

But Ned pulls his shoulder off the mat leading the boo birds to return in full force. Krista casts an ugly look towards Ned for his resilience, as she strides forward and plants a nasty kick into the top of his cranium. Grabbing strands of Ned's golden hair, she roughly yanks him upright and attempts an irish whip. However Ned finds the wherewithal within him to reverse it and sends Krista hurtling to the cables. She returns with hopes of a spinning head scissors, but Ned, as he's apt to do, crushes another one of her dreams with a pendulum backbreaker. Rather then push her off his outstretched knee, Ned keeps her on his body as he throws a knowing look towards an apron based Simon. Without so much as a word exchanged between them, The Sultan scales to the top rope. Moving fast, as a thrashing Krista is in grave danger of breaking his partner's fragile grip, Singleton comes off the turnbuckle with a leg drop! His meaty limb connects with her neck, driving her back to the mat and crushing her throat between it's substantial weight! There's a grotesque snap and Krista lets out such a horrible cry of anguish that for a moment Simon actually feels a pang of pity for her. Ned on the other hand couldn't care less about the mother of his child's safety, and gruffly ushers Simon out of the ring as he pins her.

 

ONE

 

TWO

 

Ned's title retention hopes are momentarily dashed as Krista jerks her shoulder up, pleasing the rabid Staples Center fans! The Handsome Hustler pushes himself to his feet, then coils a hand around Kris' lush golden locks, and hauls her upright. With a sneer on his face and a burning desire to break more then just her heart, Ned launches her across the squared circle and into the turnbuckles. Her back hits the pads with a repulsive impact that sends her involuntarily stumbling forward. Not wanting to give the bombshell a single moment to rest, Ned closes in on her with a graceful bodysplash! But Alix, Jade, and the audience are delighted to see Krissy, with one almighty effort, dive out of the way, leaving Blanchard's tightly toned stomach to be mangled by the unforgiving ringpost steel!

 

CABOOSE

Every move that Krista does to Ned hurts just a little bit more then normal because of who she is. And vice versa.

 

COACH

Where's the love and support for Ned? He's from LA! Ungrateful morons, that's why you're stuck with the Last Action Hero as your govenor. Because you're blinded by glitz and glamour, and you don't see substance. Alix and Krista are glitzy and glamorous and Hollwood, but Ned's the meat. He's the substance.

 

Operating more on instinct then any actual thought, Krista sees Ned's vulnerability and swiftly moves to act on it before it expires. She bolts towards him at full speed, taking to the air and lengthening her body to it's full five feet and ten inches with a cross body block! But Ned's reaction time is quick, and he easily catches her in his arms! On the apron Alix watches on in a combination of horror and distress, as Blanchard plunges downward and smashes Krista's frame into the canvas with a savage fall forward slam. Hovering above Izzy, he directs a sleazy kiss Jade's way, which she reacts to with terrified shuddering. While the audience jeers and boos him, The Hustler reaches over and hooks Krista's leg, eager to dispose of this abomination he once called a lover.

 

ONE

 

TWO

 

Krista kicks out in authoritative fashion, generating a cheer from the crowd and Jade. Blanchard slams the mat in sheer anger, seemingly drained of ways to put down his pesky ex-girlfriend. Ned doesn't quite relent however, moving to tag in Simon for something Krista was never fond of while they were dating, a bit of spicy MMF action. Blanchard whips her to the cables, while Singleton crisscrosses her, taking careful pains as to not collide with her and ruin their intricately designed move. As Miss California returns to Neddy Bear, he laces his boots around her legs, and drives her down with a drop toe hold. Although Krista was capable of getting her hands up to shield her gorgeous visage, she's unable to defend herself against Simon's portion of the attack, a hideous basement dropkick to the side of her head! While the audience reacts negatively to the cringe worthy strike, Singleton drapes his arm across Izzy's heaving chest, counting along as the official's hand slaps the mat.

 

ONE

 

TWO

 

Krista lifts her arm upwards at two and a half. Singleton, visibly perturbed, glares at the zebra through the mess of curly sun soaked strands that cloak his face. Upon shifting his anger back towards his foe, he pulls her up by the back of her neck and begins to treat her face like an Everlast punching bag, peppering it with a melody of stinging jabs. Pleased with the damage he's wrought, he holds Krista out in front of him by her luscious hair, and smugly enrages an already hostile crowd by asking“How do you like her now?” To which they, led by Jade Rodez, respond with a feverish chant of “PISSBREAK SINGLETON! PISSBREAK SINGLETON!”

 

CABOOSE

One thing that you may not have noticed is that Jim Cornette, since the swanton bomb incident, has been all but invisible. Jade, on the other hand, has been an active cheerleader for her group.

 

The Sultan sucks KID into a tightly applied front facelock. As Alix shouts out cheers of encouragement, Kris takes up the monumental task of raging against his hold, tugging at his iron like arms to wade off the mounting tension. But she can't peel them away long enough to break free or even breathe comfortably for that matter. Si soon makes her all her rebellious efforts for naught, using a DDT to blast her to mat with carefully calculated force. Krista lets out a resonant cry that seems capable of leveling the ring with it's volume. And it feels to Simon, as he pins her, that the squared circle is trembling as a result.

 

ONE

 

TWO

 

The SoCal Beauty defiantly kicks out, leaving an exasperated Singleton to direct a menacing stare Silverman's way. While the ref shyly holds up two fingers, Krista expends a great deal of energy by standing up on her own power. Double S instantly pounces on her, clamping down with another front facelock. Feeling the pooling warmth of pain around her neck, Krista wildly fights back, shifting her position and getting an Irish Whip. But the cagey veteran sees this coming and reverses the motion to send her bouncing off the ropes. As she returns to the center of the ring, Simon throws up his leg for a superkick, but she evades the deathly move by rolling underneath it and continuing her run of the ropes. After she returns from the opposite cables, Singleton hits his deadly mark with a majestic leg lariat!

 

“LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!” bleat the crowd, led on by Jade and Alix.

 

Double S buries the under sole of his boot deep into Krista's back, causing the fitness queen to spasm in pain. Three more brutal stomps follow, each accompanied by those disheartening convulsions. Simon ceases his stomping, now possessing a devilish intent to shatter her neck with a German Suplex. He hauls her up into a snug rear waistlock, and makes certain to pull her away from Alix, so that the bubbly brunette can't interfere in his plans. The Sultan raises her into the air, then dives backwards, executing a mammoth suplex! While the fans react with cringes and cries, the extraordinary force of the move carries Krista upright and directs her staggering body towards Simon and Ned's corner. Always looking for an excuse to inflict as much pain as possible on Krista, Ned leans over the ropes and rudely slugs her in the back of the head with a forearm! Not only does this cheap shot give rise to an ear splitting orchestra of boos, but it appears to light a passionate fire underneath Krista. Straining to see through the streams of hot sweat that obscure her vision, she lunges at him with a straight left cross. However The Hustler eludes her questing hands by quickly leaping off the ring apron, leaving his attacker to awkwardly crash against the ropes. As Ned grins on the outside, the hazy diva wobbles into a neckbreaker from Simon! Upon seeing his vanquished adversary sprawl across the mat in defeat, Simon scurries to cover her and make this victory official.

 

ONE

 

 

TWO

 

Krista just barely gets her shoulder up, prolonging this match for just a bit longer. Simon stands up, bringing Krista along with him, his grip on her head tightening by the second, a symbol his rapidly increasing frustration. Sneering like a madman, his piercing eyes gaze across the ring, trying to uncover a way to use the environment to his advantage. Peering at Krissy's weary face, he's struck with a treacherous scheme. Soon he showcases his plot to the world, dragging Krista to his corner and violently ramming her face against the second turnbuckle pad. Watching Krista sink to the mat in white hot pain, Ned decides he wants to resume his most cherished past time, making her life a miserable hell. A quick tag is made, and a chuckling Blanchard hits the ring. He immediately leaps on her weakened state, blasting her with the most hate filled stomps he's ever thrown. At Simon's urging Ned scrapes Krista's weakened body off the mat, putting a firm and insulting grasp on her round tush as he does so. Chants of “Let’s go Krista” get louder and louder but Ned absolutely refuses to grant the fan favorite an opportunity to make a comeback. Grabbing the top of her wrist, he propels her into the cables. When she returns, Ned foists her into the arena sky with an impressive gorilla press slam set up! This not so subtle affirmation of who wears the pants in the family elicits a chaotic splash of jeers from the fans, who urge Krista to turn against his hold. Dripping with perspiration, Krista pits her meager escape effort against Ned's almost casual display of power. But her valiant bid for freedom ultimately proves hopeless in the face of Ned's sizable strength. He drops her across his shoulders, then spins her in front of him, and splatters her across the beige canvas with a spine buster! Tentatively, fearfully, Jade and Alix recoil, stricken with concern for Krista's welfare. Caught up in a fit of delirious chortling and self satisfaction for his mammoth move, Ned drapes his arm across his whimpering ex-lover's chest.

 

ONE

 

TWO

 

COLE

This should be it, sadly.

 

Driven by a frantic energy Alix storms into the ring and uses her shoe to break up the count! As cheers return to the venue, a riled up Blanchard rises and attempts to bust Alix with right cross! But referee Billy Silverman gets in between the two superstars before they can properly come to blows. While the official ushers and agitated Spezia back to her station, Blanchard makes a speedy dash for the ropes. In an unusual display of aerial showmanship that Simon is imploring him not to take, he springs to the third rope, then launches himself across the ring with a lionsault! While the move appears to be wonderfully graceful, Simon's misgivings prove to be well stated, as Krissy rolls out of the way at the last possible second! The hurt and humiliation from his folly is streaked across Ned's face in vibrant, bold letters, as his arms instantly wrap around his six packed stomach.

 

CABOOSE

Big mistake right there!

 

Her mind shrouded in agonizing haze, the knockout slowly stands up, unsure of what course of action to take next. This seconds indecision proves costly as Ned gets a measure of revenge, flooring Izzy with his arm that's not clutching his aggravated ribs. Miss California hits the mat hard, her neck taking the brunt of the disgusting landing.

 

“LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!”

 

Ned circles her, eyes narrowing into sinister slits and drool oozing out of the corner of his lips as he sizes up his tantalizing prey. He can't control the giddy euphoria that's filled him over the prospect of being able crush what's left of her brutalized spirit. Amidst Blanchard's unending taunting, the surfer chick finds the requisite energy to push herself to her feet. However there's whole second before she's fully balanced. That brief second is all Blanchard needs to bear into her with a shoulder block. Krista, drawing on her last ounce of strength, stuns him, Jade, the crowd, Alix, and even herself by leaping onto his shoulders for a victory roll! Not wanting to lose control of the match, a suddenly panic stricken Ned steps forward and lets Krista slide right off his upper body. Unfortunately she lands on her feet, facing him while he’s facing away from her. This means that she's in the perfect spot to cause him immeasurable damage, and he's in a horrible spot to do anything about it. Miss California grabs his arm and violently twirls him around so that they stand face to face. Blanchard has zero time to react before Krista sticks her shoe into his gut, doubling him over. She latches onto his head then spins him like a merry-go-round with a tornado DDT! However Ned is somehow able to squirm free in midair, preventing the potentially neck breaking move from succeeding. He goes briefly off balance, teetering back several inches. With his arrogance and confidence as intact as ever, the recuperated stud takes an ill advised charge towards Krista with a lariat. Light in her eyes stoked to full fire, the bombshell goes airborne, heading straight up like a rocket. As Ned nears, she extends her legs, and drives her boot into the back of his cranium, obliterating his skull with a 90210 enziguri! Ned's knocked head over heels, plummeting to the mat in chaotic fashion.

 

“YEAAAAAAAA!”

 

COACH

First she steals his child, then she steals his trademark move!

 

CABOOSE

It looks like that might have taken something out of Krista as well!

 

His desire to torture Krista taking a momentary backseat to a primal urge to survive, Blanchard rolls away, creating some much needed distance between he and his resurgent old flame. As Caboose pointed out, Krista seems to be swimming against an agonizing current, the duress she's under making her crawl to her corner an extremely arduous one. Alix, sensing that she's COD best chance to capture the gold, furiously beats on the turnbuckle, trying to rally her fallen partner. Soon, Jade and the entire crowd join in, stamping their feet in unison, sending encouraging noises to Krista's frayed heart. Drawing on their heartwarming show of support, Kris, face steeled with gritty determination, digs her nails into the canvas, and desperately claws her way to the corner. Suddenly Ned stirs, giving rise to concerned gasps from the crowd. Unwilling to ever let Krista truly be free, he locks his hand around her ankle, trying his hardest to freeze her in place. Despite Blanchard's tight lockdown, Alix's unwavering encouragement sparks Krista to fight past the cutthroat thug. With one titanic lunge, she surges forward make a hot tag to her perky partner!

 

”YEAAAAAAAAA!”

 

The fans are euphoric as the other hometown girl renters the warzone! Singleton makes his unwanted presence felt, entering the ring and taking a crazed dash at Alix! But much to Jade and the fan's glee, Ally Cat easily disposes of him with her trademark dropsault! Throwing an agile twist into her famous move, she lands perfectly onto her feet. Beaming with joy, she blows kisses to her cheering fanbase, while an undetected Ned sneaks up behind her. The Handsome Hustler seizes his moment to strike and draws both the extreme ire and envy of the fans by vigorously squeezing and jiggling Alix's silicone milk wagons, and moaning in unbridled ecstasy as he does so!

 

COLE

Oh for the love of Pete! This clown is out of control!

 

COACH

Hell yeah, son! Live the dream, Ned Man! Milkshake brings all the boys to the yard!

 

Through with his tawdry sexual harassment, Ned attempts to turn his ten seconds of pleasure into Alix's lifetime of misery, by lifting her up and throwing her backwards with a German Suplex! But the speedy warrior keeps her title hopes alive, back flipping her way out of disaster. Unaware that Alix isn't suffering the horrible after affects of his suplex, Ned rises, and immediately takes up the task taunting Jade with despicable hip swivels. Jade, however, keeps her temper in check, and merely suggests he turn around. Dumbfounded, the champion follows her instructions, and has his view engulfed by Alix's elongated body crashing into him with a cross body block! She pushes him down to the mat, but the worry stricken grappler uses his own momentum in his favor and rolls through the move. Silverman dutifully drops to his knees to count a pin. However Ned's keenly aware that it will take more then a flash pin to shipwreck her title quest. Thus he stands up with her cradled in his arms. He swings her out to the side for a modified rock bottom! The fans prepare themselves for the worst, but Alix assuages their anxiety, grabbing hold of Blanchard's head, and smoothly spiking it into the ring floor with a DDT!

 

“ROCK N ROLL FOREVAAAAAA, MOTHER TRUCKERS!” Alix screams as she jams on her air guitar, getting another “LET'S GO ALIX!” chant from her fellow Angelinos.

 

Ned stands up rather quickly given the dizzying ordeal he just stomached. Despite his groggy state, he explodes to life, pasting Alix with a series of bitter right forearms. Upon ending this uncontested onslaught, The Hustler whips her to a vacated corner. He watches her slam into the padding backfirst, as he follows her in, destruction on his mind. But the only one getting destroyed here is him, as the chocolate haired babe sidesteps his blitz! Blanchard has a nasty meeting with the turnbuckles, but the pain has nary a second to register in his mind before he has Alix descending on him like some kind of tanned beach goddess with a body splash. He leaps clear out the way, confident she'll suffer the same unfortunate fate as he. But she actually manages to land flawlessly on the second rope, popping the audience and driving him mad in the process. Even more distressing is that she flips at him with a moonsault press! However, instead of squishing him to the mat as is customary, she choses to turn her move into an inverted ddt! But Neddy Bear squashes that scheme, surprising her with a sudden snap mare! The moments shock that move bought is all the champ needs to take her back first onto his shoulder, and hook her legs and necks. Mortally frightened, she squirms mightily against his grasp, but this insurrection simply makes him more determined to punish her. He releases her legs and throws her body into the air, as he starts to sit out in preparation for the finish of his psycho driver. Yet our heroine eludes certain doom with a graceful backflip towards freedom! The Ned Man lands on his ass empty handed and with a basement dropkick heading to his face!

 

KRAAAAAACK

 

COLE

The Handsome Hustler isn't so handsome now!

 

Alix stands at Ned's side, and bounces her cute little wabbit tail up and down, kicking the fans hormones into overdrive, and tail spinning Jimmy C into a hissy fit! After her saucy display concludes Alix takes to the sky and rotates backwards, landing on Ned with a flashy standing moonsault. The referee hits the mat to count the resulting pinfall, but barely makes it past one before Cornette finally makes himself useful and puts Blanchard's foot on the ropes.

 

“BOOOOOOOOOO”

 

COACH

What do these people expect him to do? He's not here for moral support! He's here to win, baby boy!

 

Openly fuming, Ally Cat rises, ready to eliminate the meddlesome Louisville nuisance. However she's cut off by a clubbing forearm from a previously unnoticed Simon Singleton. With The Sultan now registered on her radar, Alix spins to deck him with a discus punch. But the fast moving starlet isn't quick enough to beat the fast hands of Si, who contracts her into a front facelock. Simon succeeds in lifting her with a basic vertical suplex. Unfortunately that minor success is the only success he'll have, as Alix slips out of his hold, landing behind him and making sure to apply an advantageous rear facelock. Spezia swiftly twists their bodies around, forcing them to face each other and morphing her rear facelock into a front facelock. From there she sends Simon's body bending and twisting with a roll the dice! Double S' brawny neck awkwardly snaps off the mat, and he instantly bellows in severe anguish.

 

CABOOSE

Many wrestlers have weak necks to begin with, so a high impact move that targets the neck will be extra lethal.

 

The pitiful cries from his friend rouse Ned from his lethargy and lift the long since written off superstar off the canvas. Blanchard billows towards Alix with a thunderous lariat, but she ducks the strike with unsettling ease. Having grown bored with venting her rage on two opponents, the lovely lady decides to kill two birds with one stone and hurt both gentlemen at the same time. As such she attaches herself to Ned with a full nelson, then slings his entire body forward like a shoebox with a her finisher The Midnight Motivation(full nelson facecrusher)! A deafening ovation bounces from the stands as Blanchard's large mellon lands precisely on Simon's minuscule unit! A distressed Singleton wildly howls into the night sky, as Ned's mouth looks to be permanently lodged against his frank n'beans.

 

COLE

(muttering to himself)

Ned Blanchard, you lucky devil. What I wouldn't give to trade spots with you.

 

Alix mercifully covers Simon. Silverman, who hasn't a clue as to who the legal man is, makes what everyone believes will be the match ending count!

 

CROWD

1

 

 

CROWD

2

 

CROWD

BOOOOOOOOOO!

 

What's responsible for this negativity? Jim Cornette has positioned himself on the apron, and like clockwork the official has been distracted by his presence. Every last person in the Staples Center pelts the manager of champions with a variety of vulgarities, but he revels in the negative attention. That is until Jade Rodez decides to physically address his troublesome efforts! She marches over to his position, and yanks him clear of the apron, leading the fans to cheer her gumption. Cornette, on the other hand, is downright appalled that this eighteen year old valet would show such blatant disrespect for an unmatched wrestling legend like he. Thus it's with no second thoughts that he SLAPS her across the cheek! The onlookers oooh in response, assured that Jimmy's just secured himself a good ass whupping. An enraged Jade, a red handprint on her face, doesn't dare let these fans down, kicking Corny in the stomach, and scrambling his brains with a DDT onto the outside mats!

 

“JADE! JADE! JADE!” chant the fans, as the recipient of their love triumphantly pumps her fists into the air.

 

COLE

Hot dog! That a girl!

 

CABOOSE

Hot dog?

 

Meanwhile, Ned, the one champion still standing, doesn't appear to give two hoots towards the plight of his possibly concussed manager. His attention is singularly centralized on his brawl with Alix, in which both competitors seem more then willing to knock the other back to the ice age. After three of his jabs go unanswered, Ned gains the confidence to fire precision strikes down on Alix's noggin. However Ally ends the lopsided nature of the brawl, with a frantic burst of energy and ups the ante with a few painful elbow shots to the nose. The crowd cheers each one of her punches, as Ned is reeling under her uncharacteristic striking offense. But The Hustler battles back with a snapping jab, then follows that weak blow with a more dangerous left cross. However Ally Cat leaps with a wide right that smacks Ned along the cheekbone before his own punch can connect! Looking to protect his rapidly swelling mug, Blanchard turns his back to his unrelenting rival only to meet up with the acrimonious stare of Krista Isadora Duncan! With the crowd chanting her name, Krista buries a boot into Ned's bread basket, doubling the champ over. She leaps onto his expansive back, and uses it as launching pad to shoot herself into the air. Hurt, bewildered, and outright fearful of his vengeful ex, Ned lifts himself upright, wondering where she vanished to. At which point her shapely legs lock around his neck, and their glorious strength rip him off his feet with an audience pleasing hurricanrana!

 

“K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!” bleat the onlookers.

 

“CAN A BITCH GET A HANDCLAP?!” Krista asks the raucous spectators, as she rises to her feet.

 

Indeed she can, Krista! But she can also get clothesline to the face courtesy of The Sultan of Sarcasm! Or can she? No she can't because Krista grabs onto his stocky thighs and levitates him straight into the air. Extended upright like he going for the world's highest leapfrog, Simon is caught unawares, and simply looks on in confusion as Miss California darts underneath him. He travels towards Alix where he wraps his legs around her shoulder, hoping to hit the ever popular hurricanrana! But no such luck strikes him as she shifts his momentum downward and bashes his back into the canvas with a sit-out powerbomb! The official is right there to make the count!

 

CROWD

ONE

 

CROWD

TWO

 

Ned ends the pinfall with a dropkick to Alix's back, eliciting an unsettled groan from the lips of the audience members. Seeing this, Krista lets out a roar that could rattle every window within a four mile radius, as she pounces on Ned with quick fisted fury! After her hail of punches ceases, she grabs onto to Blanchard's arm and hurls him to the ropes! The Handsome Hustler has the good sense to take a dive through the cables and avoid further well deserved thrashings! But unfortunately that leaves poor Simon to catch the brunt of the chicks' ill temper! Alix scoops him up and sends him for ride to orange ropes. Playing an unwitting part in their show of dominance, he bounces back to have Alix blast him with an enziguri and Krista to cut him down with a leg sweep, their double team finisher The Carpet Biter.

 

“C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!”

 

Before any pin can be made, Ned storms back into the ring and surprises Alix by chucking her over the top rope. Needless to say this doesn't sit well with Krista who promptly caves in his face with a crowd thrilling superkick in response!

 

CABOOSE

I think Ned and Simon are about have another short title reign!

 

COLE

I wish I could share that sentiment but something is up, Boo-Boo!

 

The audience's attention becomes diverted, and their mood significantly worsens when they spot HI-YAH heavyweight champion Christian Wright journeying to ringside. There looks to be one single underhanded thought on his mind, as the devious star nears the battlefield. He brandishes his shimmering title, preparing to enter the ring and use it to wallop his newfound enemies in Chicks Over Dicks. But Jade Rodez, showing admirable boldness, refuses let any harm come to her friends and leaps onto Wright's back! The fans give off a huge pop, thinking this will signal a short end to Wright's unwelcome presence. But to the man himself she's merely a minor inconvenience, one effortlessly brushed aside by a piggy back stunner! Jade flops onto her back, submerged in an all-embracing blackness.

 

“BOOOOOOOOO!”

 

COLE

How could he do that? That's an eighteen year old girl! And look at him smiling. You're real proud of yourself, aren't you? You jerk!

 

Hysterical with anger over what just transpired, Krista starts to go through the ropes in order to give a smirking Wright a sound beating. However a slight tug on her pants stops her dead in her tracks! Soon that slight tug, applied by Ned Blanchard, pulls her back to the mat in a pinning position! The referee, not detecting Ned's fistful of tights and the fact that Wright's holding his boot for leverage, actually counts the pin! Alix tries to bust up the pinfall, but a semi recovered Singleton grabs onto her legs as if his title reign's life depended on it! The count continues unabated.

 

ONE

 

 

 

TWO

 

 

COLE

Damn it, no!

 

 

 

THREE

 

DING DING

 

The fans immediately chant, “BULLSHIIIITTT! BULLSHIIIIT!” as Chase returns to torment ears across the globe!

 

COLE

I can't believe it!

 

The incensed audience comes completely unhinged. Robbed of their chance to see their hometown heroines win their second tag team titles, they attack the ring with a deluge of boos, debris, and unrestrained vehemence. Ringside attendants have to scatter lest they be hit with one of the many pieces of trash pouring into the arena floor. Even Michael Buffer can't make the official announcement, for he has to find a way to avoid beer cups, and nacho containers. Meanwhile, Wright, exuding contemptuous arrogance, saunters back up the ramp, chuckling at COD's and Jade's misfortune.

 

CABOOSE

This doesn't surprise me at all. Typical way of the Upstarts. The girls got screwed.

 

COACH

Wouldn't be the first time today. I know that for a fact, baby boy! :lol:

 

Simon gathers up both belts, and gets the hell out of town, unwilling to tempt lady luck after she's been so generous. Ned, now outside, lingers about, blowing a kiss to a knocked out Jade, condescendingly asking various medical officials if she'll be okay. Krista rushes to Jade's aid, managing the onerous task of ignoring Blanchard's spiteful insults, as she checks on her hurt friend. Ally stays in the ring, giving Silverman an earful about his glaring incompetence.

 

COACH

As The Upstarts representative here at Sofa Central, allow me to offer congrats to the finest tag team in pro wrestling, Ned Blanchard and Simon Singleton! What men! What warriors! Little Maya should be proud to have a father like Ned. And these people from LA are classless. So your team didn't win? That's no reason to make the ring look like a garbage dump! This would never happen in Northern California.

 

COLE

The Midnight Express stole one, Coach! How do you expect the fans to act? If it wasn't for the cheating of Christian Wright and Ned Blanchard, this place would be rocking! Poor Jade Rodez. Christian Wright, what kind of human being are you? He makes me sick. How can someone who claims to be a champion of moral conduct help a scumbag like Ned Blanchard? Christian Wright, you can just go to hell! I hope Zack kicks your ass, jerk!

Edited by Patty O'Green

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COLE

And next up is a Fatal four-way match, with the winner receiving a shot at the OAOAST Heartland championship this Thursday on HeldDOWN~!

 

Punishment by BIOHAZARD hits and Rick Heyross leads Team Heyross out to the ring.

 

COLE

And Team Heyross coming to the ring together, but once that bell rings, they'll be adversaries, Coach!

 

COACH

Well, I know it says every man for themselves, but I think you'll see these guys stick together against Thunderkid and Reject until it's just down to those two guys!

 

CABOOSE

Well, I can speak from experience, and you may go into one of these kind of matches with that game plan, but you never know what can end up happening!

 

BUFFER

The following contest is a Fatal Four-way match! The last man remaining after everyone has been eliminated, either by pinfall or submission, will be the winner! Introducing first, hailing from Seattle, Washington, weighing in at 235 pounds...QUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUENTINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN BENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNJAMINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! And from Minneapolis, Minnesota, weighing 245 pounds...CHARLIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

 

The three men get into the ring, and Heyross raises both men's hands, as What's the Difference plays and Reject makes his way through the curtains. The crowd gives him a nice reaction.

 

COLE

And the cheers starting to return for Reject!

 

COACH

Good, it's about time these fans let go of the past and let bygones be bygones!

 

BUFFER

From New York City, weighing in at 235 pounds...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREJECT!!!!!

 

Reject walks to ringside, then gets on the steel steps and hangs onto the post as God of Thunder hits and Thunderkid comes through the curtains to a big pop.

 

BUFFER

And from Green Bay, Wisconsin, weighing in at 260 pounds...THUNDERKID!!!!!

 

TK slides in as Reject climbs in, and the brawl ensues!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

COLE

And here we go! Winner gets a Heartland title shot, so it's only fitting that this one's under Heartland rules!

 

Reject hammers away at Charlie Moss in one corner, as TK and Benjamin do battle in an opposite corner. TK and Reject whip Team Heyross into one another! Benjamin rolls to the outside, as TK sets up Reject for a suplex. Reject hooks Moss with his ankles, then TK swings him around and he takes Moss over the top rope!

 

CABOOSE

And some nice teamwork between TK and Reject here in the early going! You said it would be the other team that had the continuity!

 

COACH

It's still early, just wait!

 

Reject skins the cat back in, then springs back up and over with a plancha onto Moss! Quentin Benjamin nails TK with a Ghetto Blaster from behind, then runs across the ring and hits the two men on the outside with a SOMERSAULT PLANCHA~! All three men slowly make their way to their feet, as TK scales the ring ropes.

 

CABOOSE

What's Thunderkid going for here?

 

TK comes off the top into the crowd with a SHOOTING STAR PRESS~!~1~!~1

 

COLE

WOW, and that's 260 pounds flying through the air like that!

 

The crowd chants "HOLY SHIT" as TK gets up slowly and rolls Moss into the ring. Moss tries to beg off, but TK picks him up and whips him into the ropes, catching him with a PRESS SLAM~! TK slams Moss to the mat, as Moss holds his back.

 

COLE

And look at the power of TK!

 

Benjamin slides in from behind and nails TK, then Team Heyross double teams, hitting TK with a double suplex!

 

COACH

See, here comes that continuity!

 

Team Heyross picks up TK and backs him into the ropes. As they whip him into the ropes, Reject reaches from the outside and trips up Moss, and TK delivers a big clothesline to Benjamin! Reject has crawled underneath the ring, as TK delivers a suplex to Benjamin! Reject comes out from under the ring with a trashcan and a lid!

 

COLE

Heartland title rules, as the winner of this gets a shot at whoever the champion will be this Thursday on HeldDOWN~!

 

Reject takes the trashcan lid and whacks Moss in the head! Reject then tosses the can to TK, who blasts Benjamin over the head with it! Reject slides into the ring with the lid, and rams Moss's face into it! Reject then runs across the ring and attempts the ROLLING THUNDER~!, but Moss is able to get the trashcan lid and catch Reject on the way down!

 

COLE

And the tide maybe turning right here!

 

TK pounds Benjamin in the corner, when Moss comes up and nails him from behind with the trashcan! Moss then delivers an STO BACKBREAKER~! Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

COLE

First cover of the match gets two for Charlie Moss!

 

Benjamin picks up TK, and Moss goes to the ropes, as Team Heyross hits the DOUBLE GOOZLE~! Benjamin covers...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Reject comes up, and nails Moss from out of nowhere with a spinning wheel kick! Reject is slow to get up, as TK recovers and picks up Benjamin in a hangman's hold.

 

CABOOSE

Here's your favorite, Coach!

 

COACH

Oh, STOP.

 

Reject measures Benjamin, and hits a roundhouse kick! Reject then picks Benjamin up, and delivers a fisherman's buster! Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

COACH

But QB's hangin' in there!

 

TK drags Benjamin into the corner and continues to hammer away at him, while Moss hammers Reject on the outside. Moss grabs a chair on the outside, as Benjamin hits TK with a swinging neckbreaker off the ropes! Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

COLE

And now the action has really broken up! Even though the teams are still paired off with one another, it's turning into more of a free-for-all now!

 

Moss slams the chair across the back of Reject on the outside!

 

CABOOSE

Wow, what a shot Reject just took out there!

 

Moss delivers another shot, then tosses the chair down. Benjamin tosses TK out of the ring, and attempts a piledriver on the outside, but TK backdrops him on the floor! Reject comes back on Moss in the ring, flooring him with a clothesline! Moss rolls out and goes after TK, while Benjamin clobbers Reject from behind in the ring. Benjamin hits a snap suplex on Reject, then covers...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Moss rams TK's head into the steel steps, then grabs them off and slams them onto TK!

 

COLE

Steel steps slammed onto the back of Thunderkid!

 

Moss then picks up TK, but TK reverses an Irish whip and sends Moss into the steel guardrail! Inside the ring, Benjamin hits the ORANGE CRUSH~!!! suplex on Reject! Benjamin covers, but TK quickly jumps in for the save.

 

COACH

Now why would TK do that?

 

COLE

Well, I think they would obviously like to be the last two men in the match, as would Team Heyross!

 

Benjamin jumps TK from behind, as Moss hits Reject with a clothesline and they both go over the top to the floor! Moss and Reject brawl down the aisleway, and Reject gets rammed into the guardrail! Reject reverses an Irish whip, and the momentum sends Moss over the guardrail and into an empty section in the audience!

 

CABOOSE

And they're amongst the fans here in LA!

 

Fans swarm the area as security tries to hold them back, before Reject clotheslines Moss back out into the aisleway. Back in the ring, Benjamin hits a big BULLDOG~! off the top rope onto TK! Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

TK gets a foot on the ropes!

 

CABOOSE

Benjamin with a great move there, fortunately TK landed by the ropes!

 

On the outside, Moss rams Reject into the post, and hooks him in the MOSSY KNOLL~!!!111

 

COLE

He's got to have it in the ring!

 

Benjamin slides out and stomps away at the head of Reject as he's in the hold, before TK finally slides out and breaks it up. Everyone climbs back into the ring, and TK delivers a gutwrench powerbomb to Moss, before getting caught with a superkick from Benjamin!

 

COLE

Great move from Quentin Benjamin, and it looks like Team Heyross could be setting something up again!

 

However, Benjamin celebrates and walks right into a spinkick from Reject! Reject then picks up Benjamin and plants him with the PITCH BLACK~!!!111

 

COLE

Reject with the PITCH BLACK!

 

CABOOSE

We got one right here, I think!

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Moss dives over and saves at the last second! As Moss gets to his feet, however, TK hits him with a bicycle kick, and Moss stumbles backwards and falls over the top rope! TK follows him out and starts choking him with the cable! Meanwhile, Benjamin hits a low blow on Reject inside the ring, as Moss has turned around the cables on TK. Benjamin stomps away at Reject, but Reject fights back and knocks him to the mat with a spinning wheel kick! Meanwhile, Moss hits a back suplex on TK, and covers...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Moss then goes to work on Reject, allowing Benjamin to recover before moving over to TK. Moss has Reject in a cross armbreaker, while Benjamin stomps TK.

 

COACH

Submission hold applied by Moss, and this is his game right here! You're not going to out-hold Charlie Moss!

 

Moss releases the hold, and walks over towards Benjamin. Team Heyross plants TK with a double front Russian legsweep!

 

COACH

I think they're getting ready to finish off TK!

 

Moss picks up TK on his shoulders!

 

COACH

OH YES! Here it is!

 

Benjamin gets to the top rope, as Reject makes his way over. Reject hits Moss with a low blow, then pops to his feet as TK rolls forward and Benjamin comes off the top...right into the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 from Reject!

 

COLE

The EULOGY~!

 

CABOOSE

And we've got a double right here!

 

The referee simultaneously slaps both hands on the mat...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!!!!

 

COLE

And a three-count! And BOTH members of Team Heyross eliminated simultaneously!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eliminated: Charlie Moss

Eliminated by: Thunderkid

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eliminated: Quentin Benjamin

Eliminated by: Reject

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

COACH

And what do we got now? It's Thunderkid vs Reject!

 

COLE

I'm sure a lot of people have been waiting for this encounter!

 

TK and Reject stand on opposite corners of the ring, staring each other down as the crowd gets louder in anticipation. TK and Reject then circle the ring, before tying up. Reject quickly takes TK across the ring with an armdrag! TK sits in the corner and looks at Reject, then starts nodding his head. TK slowly gets up, and locks up once again, and eventually delivers an armdrag of his own!

 

COLE

And it looks like these guys are going to stick to wrestling.

 

COACH

For now, Cole. :firedevil:

 

Reject goes behind TK, and takes him to the mat with a rear waistlock. Reject rides him for a few seconds, but TK makes his way to his feet and breaks Reject's grip, then reaches back and grabs Reject's head as if to set up for a snapmare. TK flips up and over the back of Reject, and goes to the ropes. TK ducks a clothesline, then Reject drops down, and catches TK with a spinkick!

 

COLE

Beautiful kick by Reject, and TK down!

 

Reject picks up TK, and delivers a snap suplex! He follows with a snap legdrop, and covers...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

TK charges Reject, but Reject catches him with a drop toehold! Reject tries to leap forward and grab a headlock, but TK slips out, and catches the charging Reject with a snapping belly-to-belly suplex, ala Owen Hart! Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

TK whips Reject into the ropes, but Reject ducks a clothesline, and comes back with a flying bodypress, but both men go over the top and crashing to the floor!

 

CABOOSE

And both men down on the floor and out!

 

COACH

I gotta say, we're seeing some great wrestling here!

 

Reject rolls TK back into the ring, and delivers a backbreaker! He positions TK by the ropes, and hits the ROLLING THUNDER~! Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

Shoulder up!

 

Reject sets up TK in the corner, and delivers kicks to the midsection. The referee steps in, and Reject shoves him away, then approaches him, taking exception.

 

COACH

And it's getting heated in there now, guys! I like this!

 

TK comes up from behind with a sunset flip, and a handful of tights!

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO! Reject kicks out!

 

Reject backs into the ropes, then trips up TK and puts his feet on the ropes!

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO! TK escapes!

 

The two partners get face to face, and Reject lays a slap across the face of TK, who responds by shoving Reject down to the mat!

 

COACH

OH YEAH, here we go, Cole!

 

Reject gets up, and TK grabs him in a side headlock. Reject pushes him off, and the two criss-cross!

 

CABOOSE

Criss-cross, who's gonna stop first?

 

TK drops down after four trips across, then catches Reject in a PRESS SLAM~!, but the momentum takes them to the ropes, where he drops Reject crotch-first! Reject falls to the apron, but reaches down and grabs the trashcan lid off the floor. When TK goes over to grab him, he takes the lid right in the head! Reject takes the time to recuperate, then goes to work on TK.

 

COLE

And it looks like the first real advantage in this match is going to go to Reject!

 

Reject picks up TK, and delivers a shoulder breaker! Reject follows by going to the second rope, and coming off with a knee to the sternum! Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Reject drags TK into a corner and lays in some more kicks, then brings him out and delivers a Northern Lights suplex and bridge! Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

TK escapes!

 

Reject sets up for a fisherman's buster, but TK counters into a small package!

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO! Reject kicks out!

 

COLE

So close for TK right there!

 

Reject quickly catches TK with a spinning wheel kick! Quick cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Reject attempts the same move again, but TK ducks! TK scores with a European uppercut, rocking Reject back into the ropes, then clotheslines him to the floor! Reject recovers quickly, however, and slides back into the ring. He ducks a clothesline, then a mid-ring collision occures, and both men are down and out!

 

COACH

What tremendous action in this match!

 

Reject is able to come to first, and goes up to the top rope.

 

COLE

And Reject taking it to the air!

 

Tk slowly makes it to his feet, and is able to crotch Reject up top! TK then follows him up, and takes him down with a HURRICANRANA!

 

CABOOSE

And again, 260 pounds doing a move like that!

 

COLE

Well, TK has bulked up since returning to the OAOAST several months ago along with Reject, but it hasn't caused him to lose any of the tremendous agility he had early in his career, as that move just showed us!

 

TK rolls over and covers...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!!! Reject gets a shoulder up!

 

TK picks up Reject, and hits a fallaway slam! He then rolls out of the ring, and grabs the trashcan that was used earlier!

 

COLE

And now it's TK looking for the weapon!

 

TK waits on Reject to get up, but Reject ducks the shot, then goes behind, but TK spins around, drop toe-holds him, and applies an ANKLE LOCK~!

 

COLE

ANKLE LOCK! It's been a while since we've seen this utilized by TK!

 

Reject has it well-scouted, however (because, duh, they're partners), and uses his hands to push up and roll over, sending TK shoulder-first into the post! Reject catches TK off the rebound, and delivers a German suplex!

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!!! TK barely escapes!

 

CABOOSE

A lot of close calls here in the past minute or so!

 

Reject goes for a hurricanrana, but TK catches him and reverses to a sit-out powerbomb! TK the climbs to the top rope.

 

COLE

And TK once again going up top!

 

TK attempts a SWANTON BOMB~!, but Reject rolls out of the way!

 

CABOOSE

And nobody home!

 

Reject attempts a spinkick, but TK ducks and gives him a foot to the gut!

 

COACH

Could be the Thunderbolt DDT here!

 

TK picks Reject up, but Reject's feet hit the referee on the way up! Reject comes down, twists around, and hits the EULOGY~!!!!!11111

 

COLE

This one's over!

 

Reject covers, but there's no referee! Reject gets up, and slaps the referee around a bit waking him up. TK crawls up from behind, and schoolboys Reject! The referee comes to and counts...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!!! Reject kicks out!

 

Reject goes for the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 once again, but TK shoves him off, and catches him coming back with a foot to the gut, then sets up the THUNDERBOLT DDT~!!!!!11111 once again! Reject spins out once again, and hits a

foot to the gut, then sets up the PITCH BLACK~!!!111...but TK blocks, then grabs Reject's legs, trips him to the mat, and flips over into a pinning combination...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!

 

COLE

He got him!

 

COACH

Thunderkid wins it!

 

Reject is in shock on the mat, as the referee raises TK hand.

 

BUFFER

The winner of the match...THUNDERKID!!!!!

 

Reject angrily gets to his feet, as TK stands across the ring with his hands on his hips. Reject runs his hands through his hair, then walks over to TK and shakes his hand, and the two embrace to a big pop.

 

COLE

Great show of sportsmanship between these two partners, this was a real test of their solidarity as tag team partners!

 

COACH

Well, unfortunately, I've got to take my hat off, a great wrestling exhibition between these two guys!

 

COLE

But only one man could come out the winner, and it was Thunderkid! And he'll meet the winner of the Heartland title match this Thursday on HeldDOWN~!

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The camera cuts to the backstage area where Vitamin X is shown doing the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle. He has a serious look on his face as he is “in the zone” so to speak, ready for his No Disqualification Match against John “Rock Hard” Brickston. The crowd boos the moment he is shown.

 

COLE

Well coming up fans, we are going to have a No Disqualification Match. No Holds Barred, and Falls Count Anywhere in the arena! It’s going to be the 6’6” 215 pound John “Rock Hard” Brickston vs. the 5’8” 248 pound Vitamin X one-on-one! I wonder if Vitamin X truly knows exactly what he’s getting himself into.

 

CABOOSE

Are you kidding? Vitamin X knows EXACTLY what he’s getting himself into! He’s the one that made the challenge after all. Vitamin X is going to win this match, just like Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua will win their match later tonight, and just like Tha Puerto Rican will retain the 24/7 Title tonight at Zero Hour!

 

COLE

There is Vitamin X warming himself up maybe for the last time. Maybe after tonight, his career could be over!

 

CABOOSE

He’s cat-like Michael! Look at him! That’s going to help him beat John Brickston tonight!

 

Vitamin X leaves the backstage area to go to the ring.

 

The camera cuts to the exterior of the Staples Center.

 

COLE

The Staples Center is sold out for Zero Hour 2006, which is a pit stop on the road to AngleMania V!

 

*KA-CHING~!*

 

*Come and take your Vitamin X.*

 

“Bling-Bling” by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys starts playing, causing the crowd to boo loudly. Vitamin X comes out through the curtains doing the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle drawing more boos. Dollar signs are superimposed over the entrance ramp as X walks down to the ring, bobbing his head to the beat of his entrance song.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

MICHAEL BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a No Disqualification Match with No Holds Barred rules and Falls Count Anywhere in the arena! Introducing first, coming to the ring at this time. From Miami, Florida. Weighing in at 248 lbs. He is the Financial Consultant for The Lightning Crew. VITAMINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN EXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!

 

Vitamin X jaws with the fans, and then does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle again. VX is wearing a black T-shirt that has JOHN “ROCK HARD” BRICKSTON written on the front in big white blocky letters, except that the “ROCK” part has been crossed out, and “SUCK” has been written over it in red blocky letters, almost as if X wrote it himself. On the back of the shirt is written the words, THE BIGGER THEY ARE THE HARDER THEY FALL! written in big white blocky letters. Vitamin X is also wearing black elbowpads, a gold chain around his neck, black sweatpants, and black Reeboks.

 

COLE

I think it’s safe to say that Vitamin X isn’t the favorite to win this match. He might not have, as The Lightning Crew theme song says, “No Chance In Hell” of beating John “Rock Hard” Brickston!

 

CABOOSE

Hey! Look at X’s shirt! I love it!

 

COLE

Vitamin X always wears “witty” shirts at our pay-per-views, but no amount of wit will help him tonight! This is No Holds Barred, No Disqualification, so Vitamin X is free to use weapons and he can cheat to his heart's desire.

 

COACH

You make it sound like that’s what he normally does. Vitamin X is an accomplished athlete. He can hang with the Christian Wrights, and the Jamie O’ Haras, and the GPX’sssssss of the world. Maybe not BEAT them, per se, but he can hang. He can hang.

 

COLE

You’re really high on Vitamin X aren’t you?

 

COACH

That’s not the only thing I’m high on! YO~!

 

CABOOSE

Shut it crap for brains.

 

Vitamin X hops onto a second turnbuckle, and crosses his arms in an X. The crowd boos louder. VX gets off the second turnbuckle and into the ring. VX bounces off the ropes and does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle again, and talks with referee Jimmy Korderas as “Bling-Bling” continues playing.

 

CABOOSE

Look at Vitamin X! Look at the ferocious jungle cat! He’s ready for the challenge. He’s ready for John “SUCK HARD” Brickston!

 

COLE

VX is throwing salt into the wounds of the 6’6” giant. He applied an anklelock on him 2 weeks ago after that tag team match with Brains & Brawn taking on Leon Rodez and Brickston. And now, he’s coming out with that T-shirt on. X’s got a lot of guts. You gotta hand that to him. No Holds Barred. Falls Count Anywhere. No Disqualification Match is about to happen.

 

Vitamin X looks to the entrance. He looks ready to go. “Bling-Bling” by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys dies down.

 

*Give me fuel

Give me fire

Give me that which I desire!*

 

“Fuel” by Metallica starts playing, causing the crowd to cheer loudly. After a few seconds of waiting, John “Rock Hard” Brickston steps out through the curtains and the smoke to a loud pop. Brickston acknowledges the pop from the crowd, pointing to both sides of the entrance stage, getting the crowd fired up. John points his finger at Vitamin X in the ring, and threatens to rip him apart limb from limb. “Rock Hard” curses at VX, and then walks down the entrance ramp to the ring, slapping hands with the fans along the way as “Fuel” continues playing.

 

BUFFER

And his opponent. Coming to the ring at this time. From Sacramento, California. Standing 6-foot-6 and weighing in at 215 lbs. He is a former OAOAST Italian Champion. He is JOHN “ROCK HARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDDD” BRICCCCCCCCKKKKKKSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOONNN!

 

John Brickston continues walking to the ring with a serious look on his face, eyeing Vitamin X. X is also eyeing Brickston.

 

COLE

The look on John Brickston’s face tells the story.

 

COACH

Yeah, but look on the look on Vitamin X’s face. He’s cool. He’s confident. He’s funky. He’s fresh.

 

COLE

Vitamin X is very confident. But I don’t know how he can be when he’s facing Brickston!

 

As John “Rock Hard” Brickston comes closer to the ring, Vitamin X bounces off the ropes, and leaps OVER the top rope DOING A TOPE SUICIDA~!

 

 

 

CAUGHT BY JOHN BRICKSTON!

 

COLE

And so much for that!

 

John Brickston holds Vitamin X in his hands, and then charges forward, slamming his back against the ring post! The crowd cheers! Referee Jimmy Korderas calls for the bell.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH

(No Holds Barred, Falls Count Anywhere In The Arena)

VITAMIN X vs. JOHN “ROCK HARD” BRICKSTON

John Brickston is still holding onto Vitamin X. He charges forward, and once again SLAMS Vitamin X’s back against the ring post! Brickston then drops Vitamin X onto the floor. VX clutches his back in horrible pain.

 

CABOOSE

X, what were you thinking!? Jungle cat, what were you thinking!?

 

Vitamin X slowly gets up. He crawls around the ringside area with John Brickston standing over him, furious.

 

JOHN “ROCK HARD” BRICKSTON

You want some of this? You want a piece of me?

 

COLE

I think Vitamin X is in over his head here. He’s fighting the 6’6” 215 pound John “Rock Hard” Brickston! How will he overcome this tremendous challenge?

 

COACH

He’ll beat him, Cole! He will! Trust me! He will!

 

Brickston grabs a hold of Vitamin X. He runs with him and then whips him into the ring steps! VX hits the ring steps HEAD first! He then crumbles to the floor.

 

COLE

John Brickston is throwing him around like a ragdoll!

 

“Rock Hard” walks over to where Vitamin X is. He grabs the top ring steps and tosses them aside. Brickston picks up the crawling Vitamin X and scoops him up.

 

CABOOSE

If Vitamin X started this match with seven of his nine lives he maybe up to six!

 

John Brickston bodyslams Vitamin X onto the bottom ring step!

 

COLE

This one may not last long, at this rate.

 

John Brickston slowly walks over Vitamin X’s body, stopping on his right hand. He stands on VX’s right hand for a while, causing him to scream out in pain.

 

CABOOSE

Oh no! He’s got his hand! He’s got his masturbation hand!

 

COLE

TMFI.

 

John Brickston yells at Vitamin X while stepping on his right hand.

 

CABOOSE

Get your foot off the jungle cat’s paw!

 

Brickston finally lets go. Vitamin X gets up and holds his right hand, wincing in pain.

 

COLE

The jungle cat’s paw maybe broken.

 

Vitamin X walks around the ringside area holding his right hand, but that’s stopped by Brickston clotheslines VX over the barricade and into the crowd!

 

COLE

This is No Holds Barred. Falls Count Anywhere. And Vitamin X is now over the barricade!

 

John Brickston doesn’t go over the barricade himself, instead choosing to just stand on the outside and taunt VX.

 

CABOOSE

It’s okay, Vitamin X is cat-like, I’m sure he landed on his feet!

 

VX starts getting up using the barricade for help.

 

COLE

Well, I don’t know about that.

 

Once VX’s hands are on the barricade, Brickston grabs the right one and pulls him up that way. Vitamin X screams out in pain!

 

COACH

That’s the hurt hand! You monster!

 

Brickston holds onto X’s right hand, and then pulls him over the barricade with his T-shirt. Brickston then grabs Vitamin X, and hoists him up in a Gorilla Press Slam position.

 

CABOOSE

Oh no!

 

John “Rock Hard” Brickston screams while holding Vitamin X up in a Gorilla Press Slam position. VX is panicking. The crowd absolutely loves it. Brickston walks with X a few feet, and then TOSSES him over the top rope and back into the ring!

 

COLE

Now that is power! That is scary power!

 

CABOOSE

Oh my gosh.

 

Vitamin X starts to get up while John Brickston enters the ring. VX gets to his feet, but then John Brickston comes and kicks VX in the ASS, knocking him down! No seriously, he kicked him in the ass to knock him down!

 

COLE

Well, that’s something new.

 

Vitamin X gets back up quickly, so Brickston kicks him in the ass again, knocking him down! VX uses the ropes to get up again, but when he does, Brickston once again kicks his ass, knocking him down!

 

COLE

This has got to be painful AND humiliating!

 

VX crawls around the ring, tired, winded already from the asskicking from John Brickston. X is sweating bullets as he tries to get back to his feet. “Rock Hard” helps him up. X accepts, probably not realizing that it’s his opponent that’s helping him. Once X is on his feet again, Brickston gives him a MASSIVE clothesline, knocking him back down!

 

COLE

You can bet that John Brickston has been waiting for this since Anglepalooza! He’s been waiting for this ever since Brains & Brawn cheated to beat him and Spanish Fly in that Tag Team Tables Match!

 

COACH

CHEATED? It was a TAG TEAM TABLES MATCH! There are no rules in a Tag Team Tables Match! What Brains & Brawn did to win that match was fair and square. Seriously, Cole. Next time learn the definition of cheating before you use the word!

 

COLE

Well, Vitamin X has humiliated John Brickston in these past few weeks. That’s a fact.

 

COACH

Yeah. And you used the word “fact” correctly, this time.

 

John Brickston stands over the fallen VX.

 

JOHN BRICKSTON

BET YOU WISH YOU SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH NOW, DON’T YOU!?

 

CABOOSE

Oh, Vitamin X is gutsy! He’s hanging in there!

 

John Brickston picks up Vitamin X. The crowd cheers loudly. Brickston whips X into the ropes.

 

CABOOSE

Did you see that movie The Lion King? I mean Simba, he was, he was much smaller than that mean, ugly Scar! But Simba still came out on top someway!

 

VX goes for a clothesline. Brickston ducks, grabs X, and gives him a Full Nelson Slam! Afterwards Brickston does the “You can’t see me!” hand gesture!

 

COLE

“You Can’t See Me” Full Nelson Slam!

 

CABOOSE

Oh no! Come on X! Come on young jungle cat! Use your cat-like reflexes to beat this galoof! Use your ferocity to rip Brickston’s heart out!

 

“Rock Hard” walks around the ring looking at X. He curses at him, and then walks over to him and grabs him. He scoops him up and places him on his shoulders in a Death Valley Driver position. The crowd cheers!

 

CABOOSE

OH NO!

 

COLE

Oh boy! Here we go! This is it! This is the end! Killswitch time!

 

John Brickston yells at X as he prepares to give him the Killswitch.

 

COLE

Hey! Hey wait a minute!

 

Suddenly, Cuban Wall runs down the entrance ramp and slides into the ring. He punches Brickston in the back, causing him to let go of Vitamin X. The crowd boos loudly as Cuban Wall beats on John Brickston!

 

COLE

Vitamin X’s partner Cuban Wall has come to his aid. Brains & Brawn are in the ring, and Brawn is beating on Brickston!

 

CABOOSE (sarcastically)

Oh. How unfortunate.

 

Wall continues beating on Brickston as the crowd chants “BRICK-STON! BRICK-STON! BRICK-STON! BRICK-STON!” “Rock Hard” is feeling the beating from Cuban Wall. Meanwhile, Vitamin X lies on the mat.

 

COLE

Cuban Wall is just beating on John Brickston, and the beatdown is actually working as John Brickston stumbles around the ring!

 

Cuban Wall bounces off the ropes, going for a punch…BUT IT’S BLOCKED! Brickston headbutts Cuban Wall! Wall stumbles, but doesn’t fall. So John Brickston headbutts Wall again! Wall still doesn’t fall, so John Brickston grabs Cuban Wall and places him on his shoulders in a Death Valley Driver position. The crowd’s cheers get louder.

 

COLE

Uh-oh! Look out! 285 pounds on John Brickston’s shoulders!

 

The 6’6” 215 pound John “Rock Hard” Brickston drives the 6’7” 285 pound Cuban Wall into the mat with the Killswitch!

 

COLE

Killswitch on Cuban Wall!

 

Cuban Wall lies on the mat, knocked out. Brickston gets up, plays to the cheering crowd, and then kicks Cuban Wall in the stomach. He kicks him in the stomach again to kick him out of the ring.

 

COLE

John Brickston just unloaded on Cuban Wall.

 

CABOOSE

I think Wall should be disqualified!

 

As Cuban Wall is sent out of the ring, three more Lightning Crew members come down to ringside. Mr. Boricua, Thomas Rodriguez, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. Boricua and Thomas have steel chairs in their hands.

 

COLE

What the hell is this?

 

COACH

I guess The Lightning Crew is taking advantage of the No Holds Barred, No Disqualification rules!

 

Mr. Boricua enters the ring. He swings his steel chair at John Brickston. Brickston DUCKS the chairshot! Brickston carries his momentum over to Thomas Rodriguez and punches the chair he was holding, taking him out! Brickston punches the chair Mr. Boricua was holding, taking HIM out! Boricua and Thomas roll out of the ring!

 

COLE

My God! Look at the power of John Brickston! He just took out The Lightning Crew single-handedly!

 

John Brickston lets out a mighty roar. He plays to the fired up crowd! Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is panicking on the outside.

 

CABOOSE

All right Lightning Crew! Calm down! Calm down! Everything’s going to be okay! Everything is going to be okay!

 

COLE

This big son of a bitch is powerful isn’t he!

 

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez enters the ring. With Brickston’s back turned, playing to the crowd, Lindsay charges forward, and delivers a low blow to John Brickston!

 

CABOOSE

Is she crazy?

 

Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez mockingly says she’s sorry. She holds her, uh, “area” to mock Brickston with a sly smile on her face. But her smile fades when Brickston stands up, no longer feeling the effects of the low blow, and comes after her. Lindsay quickly leaves the ring…but is CAUGHT by John Brickston!

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

COLE

She better get out of there fast!

 

COACH

YOU MONSTER! DON’T YOU DARE LAY A HAND ON HER! DON’T!

 

Brickston looks to the cheering crowd, and then looks at the squirming Lindsay. He says something to her, spanks her, and then lifts her up.

 

COLE

Look! She’s over his head!

 

Mr. Boricua and Thomas Rodriguez have just gotten up. Both guys are still groggy, so they are shocked when John “Rock Hard” Brickston throws Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez over the top rope onto the both of them!

 

COLE

John Brickston just threw Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez! He just threw her 15 feet in the air!

 

Lindsay, Thomas, and Boricua all lay on the floor. Brickston looks at the raucous crowd and then exits the ring. Mr. Boricua and Thomas Rodriguez start to get up, tired, and in pain.

 

COLE

John Brickston threw Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez into the faces of Thomas Rodriguez and Mr. Boricua!

 

COACH

I bet they liked it.

 

COLE

I’m sure they did.

 

Mr. Boricua and Thomas Rodriguez are both up. John Brickston gives both men a MASSIVE clothesline knocking them down!

 

CABOOSE

Disqualify him! Disqualify him! Disqualify John Brickston!

 

Vitamin X has somehow managed to crawl up the entrance ramp. John Brickston sees this, and slowly stalks him up the entrance ramp.

 

COLE

Vitamin X is getting the fuck out of Dodge! He’s crawling to the lockerroom!

 

CABOOSE

He’s still cat-like!

 

Vitamin X is gasping for air as he makes it to the entrance stage. Brickston is right behind him.

 

COACH

He’s a wounded jungle cat!

 

COLE

Would you stop calling Vitamin X a jungle cat?

 

CABOOSE

He’s cat-like!

 

John Brickston and Vitamin X are both on the entrance stage. Brickston picks up Vitamin X, causing the crowd to cheer again. “Rock Hard” plays to the crowd, pointing to the entrance. The crowd cheers.

 

COLE

Oh, he could be trying to throw him into the entrance again, just like he did three days ago on HeldDOWN~!.

 

CABOOSE

Oh no! I can't watch!

 

*BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT*

 

CUBAN WALL SHOCKS JOHN “ROCK HARD” BRICKSTON WITH A TASER GUN!

 

COLE

What? What the hell?

 

CABOOSE

Cuban Wall! Cuban Wall came to the rescue!

 

John Brickston stumbles around the entrance stage, hurt from the taser gunshot. Cuban Wall throws the taser gun aside and grabs Brickston by his throat!

 

COACH

The goozle! Wall has Brickston in the goozle!

 

The crowd boos loudly as Cuban Wall lifts John Brickston up, and slams him down onto the entrance stage with the Chokeslam!

 

COLE

Chokeslam! Chokeslam on John “Rock Hard” Brickston on the STEEL stage! Brickston is hurt, from the taser shot and the chokeslam on the entrance stage!

 

CABOOSE

Oh yeah! Way to go Wall! That’s why you’re the Brawn of Brains & Brawn! You did a damn good job taking care of John Brickston for Vitamin X! Kudos!

 

Vitamin X stands over John Brickston. He smiles evilly, as does Cuban Wall. He high fives his Brains & Brawn partner, and then tells him to finish the job. John Brickston is still acting like he’s having a seizure thanks to being shocked with the taser gun. The crowd boos loudly.

 

“X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *Clap Clap Clapclapclap*

“X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *Clap Clap Clapclapclap*

“X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *Clap Clap Clapclapclap*

“X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *Clap Clap Clapclapclap*

 

Mr. Boricua, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, and Thomas Rodriguez walk up the entrance ramp. They are all laughing manically at Brickston’s misery.

 

COLE

The Lightning Crew has John Brickston right where they want him! They must be loving this.

 

CABOOSE

And so am I! THIS is how you get revenge on somebody! THIS is how you win a match!

 

Vitamin X does the “cutthroat” hand signal. Cuban Wall nods. He runs to the entrance, and then charges forward, jumping up, and crashing down onto John Brickston with The Lightning Crew Splash!

 

COLE

Cuban Wall just gave John Brickston The Lightning Crew Splash! He just made this situation even worst!

 

COACH

Beautiful X! Beautiful work!

 

Vitamin X high fives Cuban Wall. The crowd boos even louder. Mr. Boricua does his own splash onto John Brickston. Brickston is still in a seizure. Vitamin X approves of Mr. Boricua’s splash. Mr. Boricua does a little jig. VX looks at The Lightning Crew. He covers John “Rock Hard” Brickston. Jimmy Korderas, who has been watching all of this, gets down to count.

 

COLE

Oh no. He’s gonna do it! He’s actually going to do it!

 

CABOOSE

Here it comes!

 

John Brickston is still shaking like he’s in a seizure. The Lightning Crew counts along.

 

1…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!

 

*DING DING DING* (7:26)

 

CABOOSE

He did it! The jungle cat did it!

 

COLE

I don’t believe it! I don’t believe it!

 

“Bling-Bling” by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys starts playing. Cuban Wall raises Vitamin X’s hands in victory. The crowd boos. The Lightning Crew laughs maniacally.

 

BUFFER

Here is your winner…VITAMINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN EXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!

 

Referee Jimmy Korderas raises Vitamin X’s hands in victory. VX hugs Cuban Wall. Cuban Wall punches Vitamin X in the jaw, telling him he doesn’t like hugs. VX holds his jaw and tells him sorry. Cuban Wall tells Vitamin X it’s okay. Mr. Boricua, Thomas Rodriguez, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez join VX and Wall, and the five members celebrate while the crowd boos and “Bling-Bling” continues playing. John “Rock Hard” Brickston has stopped having a seizure, and is just lying on the entrance stage, devastated at the lost.

 

COLE

Vitamin X just beat John Brickston! VITAMIN X JUST BEAT JOHN BRICKSTON!

 

CABOOSE

He shocked the world, Michael! He shocked the entire world! No one believed he could do it, but he shocked them all! HA! HA!

 

COLE

He shocked us all right. Just like he shocked John Brickston! That taser gun played a big part in his victory!

 

COACH

Yeah, well it was a No Disqualification Match. Anything goes, and The Lightning Crew took full advantage of that!

 

COLE

And they sure did! Vitamin X has defeated John “Rock Hard” Brickston in a No Holds Barred, Falls Count Anywhere, No Disqualification Match to give The Lightning Crew a win tonight at Zero Hour!

 

CABOOSE

And we still got 2 more wins to go! Yahoo!

 

COLE

I cannot believe it. I mean the betting line, if there was one, had to be Vitamin X as a huge underdog coming into this matchup.

 

CABOOSE

Well, I’ll tell you what, I had faith in the jungle cat. You know I did. I knew the jungle cat would somehow pull it out, and I was right because I rule!

 

John “Rock Hard” Brickston is starting to get up. He is shaking the cobwebs out of his head, still feeling the effects of the taser gun. Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, and Thomas Rodriguez all high five each other and gloat over X’s victory. They all laugh manically, happy that they gave The Lightning Crew it’s first of what they hope is 3 victories tonight at Zero Hour. The crowd, predictably, hates it. Cuban Wall gives Vitamin X the taser gun. VX wields the taser gun wildly laughing.

 

CABOOSE

X has won! X’s won!

 

COLE

Look at John Brickston. He’s hurt. He must be in serious pain. He got hit with a taser gun and then he was given two splashes by Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua!

 

COACH

Well, he asked for this match, so he has no one to blame but himself. I feel no sympathy for him.

 

COLE

It must be great to have no soul.

 

COACH

It is. Hey—wait!

 

CABOOSE

Swing and a miss, Coach.

 

John Brickston stands up. He is upset at his lost. He stumbles a bit, but manages to regain his composure. “Bling-Bling” is still playing. The Lightning Crew leaves through the curtains, Vitamin X still wielding the taser gun with an evil smile on his face.

 

COLE

What a shocking upset. Vitamin X has managed to surprisingly beat John “Rock Hard” Brickston in a No Disqualification Match! Is this an omen? A sign of things to come? Will The Lightning Crew have a great night at Zero Hour? Will Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall beat Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly? And will Tha Puerto Rican defeat Leon Rodez to retain the 24/7 Title? We’ll find out later tonight at Zero Hour!

 

John “Rock Hard” Brickston slowly walks through the curtains, devastated. “Bling-Bling” by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys ends.

 

(FADE OUT)

Edited by Tony149

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COACH

Let's talk about what we've got up next, huh? My boys Scotty and Johnny, the GPX, making an example out of two wannabes!

 

COLE

I wouldn't call them wannabes, Coach. Blonde and Faqu have proven they can hang with the best. They've had great showings against Black T, and the GPX in that six man tag just a week ago.

 

COACH

And what do those matches have in common, Mikey Cole? They resulted in losses for Blonde and Faqu! Sure, Malibu was the one pinned in that six man by Christian Wright, but if Blonde and Faqu were really as "rejuvenated" as they claim HEY-YO made them...

 

COLE

HI-YAH.

 

COACH

Whatever. If they were as rejuvenated as HI-HO supposedly made them.

 

CABOOSE

HI-YAH.

 

COACH

HEY YA?

 

COLE

That's an Outkast song!

 

COACH

Then where was I?

 

COLE

We were about to go to the ring, so don't worry about it.

 

Inside the squared circle is the ever dapper Michael Buffer, the famed announcer who has joined us tonight for our February tradition.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall!

 

zerohourBlondetag.jpg

 

Hard guitars fill the air inside the arena, as the Deftone's hit "My Own Summer" brings forth a stylish young man and his incredibly intimidating partner. The team of James Blonde and Faqu head down the rampway ready for action, looking focused as they head to the ring.

 

BUFFER

Introducing first, they are representatives of the HI-YAH promotion currently competing once again inside OAOAST rings. Weighing in tonight at a combined weight of five hundred and twent; three pounds, they are the team of "Strong Stylin'" JAMES BLONDE, and the "Samoan Tsunami", FAQU!

 

Faqu gives the sign for "I love you" to the fans, while Blonde climbs up on the ropes and bounces a bit, nodding his head proudly. He hops down and the two knock hands and talk strategy softly, while their anthem is replaced by an all too familiar, and much more despised one.

 

COACH

Listen to this crowd, straight hatin'!

 

"Make Her Say" can't be played loud enough to drown out the catcalls of this crowd, and when Johnny and Scotty start juking and jiving down the ramp, it only enhances the hatred.

 

BUFFER

Their opponents, weighing in tonight at a combined weight of four hundred and twenty five pounds, JOHNNY JAX and SCOTTY STATIC, The GLOBAL PARTY EXXXCHAAAAANGE!

 

Static and Jax make their way to the ring, pretending to be in fear of Blonde and Faqu, who tell them to enter the ring. Instead, Johnny and Scotty hop off the ramp and down to ringside, each one circling a side of the ring before coming to the announce table and giving Coach props.

 

COACH

WHAZZUP!

 

CABOOSE

Soooo four years ago.

 

COLE

At least.

 

COACH

Haters.

 

Jax and Static then hop up on the apron and toss idle threats out to their opponents. The bell sounds, and Static offers to start for his team, entering the ring. Blonde and Faqu work out who is going to start, but Static mouths "bring the big man on", daring the Samoan Tsunami to start the match with him!

 

COLE

So is he changing his name to Scotty Suicide and just hasn't told us yet, Coach?

 

Faqu steps through the ropes, ready to start the match, and Static seems ready to tie up with him. Faqu comes forward with his arms extended for a lockup, but after inching forward, Static puts his arms down and backs up! Faqu sneers at Static, who wags a finger "no", and then the two start circling before they appear ready to lock up again...but after another tease, Static just walks right past Faqu! The Samoan charges, but Static quickly sticks his body through the ropes, causing referee Nick Patrick to back the big man up (verbally, not physically), while the crowd is not happy with the GPX's refusal to engage in battle.

 

COLE

It seemed too good to be true that they'd ask for Faqu to start, and now we know that they're still not taking Blonde and Faqu seriously!

 

COACH

Would YOU take a guy named James Blonde, or Faqu for that matter, seriously?

 

CABOOSE

The name "Scotty Static" doesn't exactly strike fear in the hearts of millions.

 

COACH

It should!

 

Static pulls himself out of the ropes and again circles the ring, but as he comes forward, we'll never know if it was another tease or not, as Faqu shoots for the legs and takes him down! The Samoan starts driving elbows and forearms across Scotty's face, and the GPX member covers up and rolls to the ropes! He pulls himself up, but Faqu is right there and fires him off to the other side, then smacks him with a chop on the rebound that floors him! Faqu pulls Static up and hits a headbutt, then pushes his head down and drives his right knee into Scotty's head a few times before dropping him with a scoop slam! Faqu hits the ropes, but Jax kicks him in the small of the back! Faqu flinches for a moment, then turns around and runs across the side ropes, clotheslining Johnny off the ring apron! This works perfectly as a distraction though, as Static runs up from behind and nails Faqu with an elbow, then turns him around and brings him to center ring and locks up with him! Static struggles for a moment until Faqu pushes him down to the mat, but Scotty rolls to his feet and runs in again with another lockup, and grabs a headlock, only to be lifted off his feet...and float over! Faqu bounces off the ropes and Scotty takes him down with a drop toehold, then tries for a legdrop to the back of the head, but hits nothing but canvas, as Faqu moves! Static comes up and Faqu delivers two hard kicks to his ribs, connecting with the instep of his foot, then sends Scotty to the ropes and grabs Scotty for a sideslam, but Scotty floats all the way over and lands on his feet, then pushes Faqu to the ropes and then nails him with a dropkick on the rebound! Faqu staggers, but doesn't go down, so Static charges...and gets backdropped over the top rope! He hangs on, landing on the apron, then takes Faqu by the head and runs it into the corner before climbing up to the top rope and leaping off with a sunset flip that puts Faqu down for the pin...NO! He rolls through the sunset flip and then hooks Scotty's legs, turning him over for a Boston Crab...but Jax races in with a Yakuza Kick to break it up...AND HIS FOOT IS CAUGHT!

 

CABOOSE

Uh oh!

 

Faqu holds Johnny's leg, having released Scotty from the Crab. He pulls Johnny up across his shoulders, but Static makes the save, yanking Johnny down to the canvas! The GPX then spin Faqu around and hit a double boot before taking him over with a doubleteam snap suplex, and now Static heads out to the apron, letting Jax take over for him!

 

COLE

Was there a tag?

 

CABOOSE

Well Patrick seems to be letting it go...

 

Jax stomps at Faqu before hitting the ropes, springing high into the air for a kneedrop...THAT MISSES! Faqu rolls out of the way and chops Jax as he rises up, then fires off two more once he's on his feet, and they have Johnny reeling in pain! He then wrenches Johnny's arm and holds him at bay before hitting a fourth chop, and then Faqu hits the ropes and plows Johnny over with a shoulderblock! Faqu hits the ropes again, this time hopping over Johnny as he rests on his stomach, and when he comes back with a running elbow, Johnny puts up his arms to block the blow, then connects with a standing enzugiri, then hits the ropes and hits a spinning wheel kick that floors the big man! Johnny covers, and Patrick slides to the mat for the count!

 

ONE!

 

TW-NO!

 

Faqu rolls a shoulder, but Jax isn't put off by the kickout, instead keeping control of his opponent by leading him to his feet. He looks to shoot Faqu to the GPX corner, but the big man keeps his ground and doesn't budge! Johnny hits two chops and tries again, but this time Faqu sends him in motion, and Johnny can't shift himself to hit back first, so crashes chest first into the corner, HARD! He staggers back, right into a back suplex from Faqu, who then goes and makes the tag to James Blonde! Faqu then reaches over and grabs his own partner in a facelock, lifting him off the apron like a suplex...but then drops him forward down on top of Jackson! Blonde stays atop Jax and keps him down, as Faqu comes off the ropes and delivers a hard kneedrop to the head of Johnny, then rolls out of the ring so Patrick can count the fall!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

KICKOUT!

 

COLE

That was some excellent teamwork there by Blonde and Faqu!

 

COACH

You want teamwork, you ain't seen nothing yet. They're taking on the best tag team in the world right now!

 

Blonde yanks Jax up and rocks him with a pair of forearms before running to the ropes...but gets struck with a low dropkick by Jax that hits him in the knee! Blonde collapses to all fours, and Jax runs the ropes and delivers another dropkick, this one to the side of the head! He then drags Blonde towards the GPX corner and tags Static in, who slingshots over the ropes, onto the middle rope, and moonsaults backwards onto Blonde!

 

ONE!

 

TW-KICKOUT!

 

COACH

See how crisp, how smooth they are? The GPX can work like nobody else can, and every time they're in action it's a reminder of how STUPID this company is to overlook them!

 

CABOOSE

And every time you speak it's a reminder of how stupid this company was to hire you! I mean, we were better off with people like Jimmy Beard on our roster than we've been with your annoying arse!

 

Scotty drags Blonde up and wrenches the arm, then moves the arm behind his back, trapping him in a hammerlock. He holds Blonde at bay with the move, keeping a firm grip on the wrist...and then releases on his own, but not before slapping Blonde hard across the back of the head! Blonde swings around with a wild right hand that gets ducked, and Scotty strikes back with some rights of his own, and dodges when Blonde swings again! Scotty hits another set of punches, then backs Blonde to the ropes and fires him off, dropping his head for a backdrop...but Blonde hits a front dropkick to the crown of Scotty's head! Static drops to one knee, holding his head, and it allows Blonde the opening to hook his waist and throw him over with a gutwrench suplex! Blonde then drags Static near his corner and lays him on the mat by the ropes, then tags Faqu, who starts climbing the ropes!

 

COLE

No good can come of this!

 

Faqu gets to the top, and leaps off with a back senton...but Static rolls under it, and Faqu slams hard on the mat! Johnny Jax then runs in and nails him with a basement dropkick as he sits up, then rolls out to escape, as Patrick ushers him from the ring. With Patrick occupied, Static starts unraveling his wrist tape, and then wraps it around the throat of Faqu and starts choking him out!

 

CABOOSE

Oh come on!

 

COACH

Like you never did that? Hypocrite.

 

Patrick turns around and sees Static choking the big man out with his tape, and tries to pull him off, but it's not easy. Scotty then takes him and drapes him across the middle rope, driving his knee between Faqu's shoulder blades and forcing his throat down on the ropes before running to the far side and then leaping onto Faqu's back, driving all the air out of him! Faqu slumps down to the mat, and Static pulls him away from the ropes, and goes for the pin!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

KICKOUT!

 

Static tells Patrick to "count faster next time" as he pulls Faqu up, stunning him with two forearm shots before taking the big man over with a vertical suplex, and then rolls to his feet and drops a quick elbow! He then rolls to his corner and tags in Jax, who slingshots in with a senton across Faqu, and then hurries to cover him while he's wounded, hoping it will keep him down!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

KICKOUT!

 

COLE

The GPX are moving quickly and furiously with quick tags and double teams, but it's still not enough to defeat a duo that they don't find on their level.

 

COACH

Of course they're not on the level of the GPX. That's like comparing McDonald's to a Porterhouse steak. It's like comparing Old Navy to DKNY. It's like comparing The Click Five to Duran Duran!

 

CABOOSE

Who's the Click Five?

 

COACH

Exactly my point.

 

The GPX double up on Faqu again, pounding on him with forearms, but as he comes to his feet, the "Samoan Tsunami" unleashes a tidal wave of pain, striking both members of the Global Party Exchange with hard chops, until they dominate him again with repeated forearm strikes! They hurl him towards the ropes and connect with a double back elbow, but when they back up and try for a double clothesline, Faqu breaks the clothesline in half, then rams the heads of Static and Jax together! Scotty drops and rolls out of the ring, while Jax staggers back, and Faqu hits the ropes and delivers a jump spinning roundhouse kick that floors Johnny "Jam"! Both men rest on the canvas, but Faqu crawls to his corner and makes the tag to "Strong Stylin'", who slingshots in and hits the ropes, coming off with a hard shoulderblock that bowls Jax over! He then reaches down and rolls Jax to his feet, then drops him with a downward spiral as soon as he is up! Blonde hits the ropes again, but this time Static reaches in and trips him up, then drags him to the floor!

 

COACH

Good lookin' out, Scotty!

 

Scotty rams Blonde's head into the apron, and as Blonde tucks his head, favoring it, Scotty cradles his arms in a butterfly lock, setting him up for Spiked Punch on the floor! Static lifts, but Blonde kicks his legs and forces himself back down, and with his hands tied up, Scotty can't dodge the oncoming YAKUZA KICK~! from Faqu that knocks him silly!

 

COLE

HE DROPPED LIKE A SACK O' POTATOES!

 

A wild wave of cheers comes up from the fans, but Patrick slides out of the ring and orders Faqu back to his side. The big man doesn't protest, but as this is going on Blonde springboards himself back into the ring...and winds up getting caught with an unceremonious landing, courtesy of an inverted atomic drop! He's staggered, and Jax hooks his arm and then reaches in, carrying him up onto his shoulder with a pumphandle to signify the Beat Drop...but Blonde slides out, and elevates Jax up in the air back suplex style, only to grab his head on the way down and drive the back of it into the canvas not unlike an inverted Diamond Cutter!

 

CABOOSE

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?

 

COLE

I think it might be victory!

 

Blonde covers, hooking the leg as Jax uses whatevers left to try and kick free, but can't seem to do it, as Patrick's hand hits the canvas.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

COLE

They did it! Chalk one up for the OAOAST/HI-YAH connection tonight!

 

COACH

That...that was...THAT WAS A FAST COUNT!

 

CABOOSE

It was not. Fast counts don't apply to people as slow as you anyways.

 

"My Own Summer" hits, and Faqu comes into the ring and embraces his partner before they both have their hands raised.

 

COLE

What a win for these two, who have set out to prove themselves. The GPX didn't believe they could do it, but the fans certainly did, and they're showing their support right now. These guys deserved this win!

 

CABOOSE

Agreed. Good show for Blonde and Faqu!

 

Jax rolls out of the ring, still aching and holding his head. He regroups with Scotty, who is fortunate enough to not have a dislocated jaw after that stiff kick from Faqu. However, all the aches and pains are nothing compared to the feeling of having to swallow their pride, having just been defeated by a team they advertised as an inferior duo.

 

COLE

I don't think we've heard the last of this one, and if it's the first of many chapters then I look forward to the future ones, because this was one hell of a contest.

 

CABOOSE

Just one of many we're featuring here tonight.

 

COLE

You've got that right, Caboose!

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zerohourswmd.jpg

 

COLE

And it's time now, Coach, for the Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal Iron Man Match! It's Alfdogg defending the Heartland title against Brock Ausstin! Let's go backstage to Tony Schiavone!

 

TONY

OK, thank you, Michael Cole, and I'm standing back here with the respective wheel spinners for each participant! Representing the challenger, Brock Ausstin, it'll be his manager Rick Heyross, and to my right, Reject will be the spinner for the Heartland champion, Alfdogg! The rules are as follows: The first fall of the match will be contested under normal OAOAST rules, with a decision being rendered by pinfall, submission, disqualification, or countout! From there, the representative of the winner of each fall will spin the wheel to determine what type of match the next fall will be contested under! And of course, whoever has the most falls at the end of the match will be the OAOAST Heartland champion!

 

Punishment by BIOHAZARD hits.

 

TONY

And with that, let's go to Michael Buffer!

 

Brock Ausstin walks through the curtains as Buffer begins his announcements.

 

BUFFER

The following contest is the Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal Iron man match, for the OAOAST Heartland championship! Introducing first, the challenger, from Victoria, Minnesota, weighing in at 304 pounds...BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROCK AUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

 

NN!!!!!

 

COLE

And Brock Ausstin will attempt to become a singles champion for the first time in his career! You recall, back in October at World Without End, he was a part of the four-way match for this very title, in which Brock joined Stevens/Heyross Incorporated in the ruse against Alfdogg! But those times have passed, and now it's Brock and Alf, man-to-man!

 

COACH

You're right, Cole, and I think here with no distractions, we're going to see Brock pick up his first-ever singles title!

 

CABOOSE

Definitely possible, but if I were a betting man, I think I'd have to put it on Alf, he's really been on fire lately.

 

As Brock walks down the aisle, Peter Knight stands and applauds from his suite, cupping his hands to his mouth and yelling encouragement.

 

COLE

There's one man who is interested in how this turns out. No matter what happens tonight, Alf still will face Peter Knight in one month's time for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at AngleMania.

 

COACH

With a match like this, I have trouble seeing Alf actually MAKING it to AngleMania.

 

Brock gets ready in the ring as Magnum Opus: Father Padilla Meets the Perfect Gnat/Howling at the Moon hits and Alfdogg walks through the curtains to an enormous pop.

 

BUFFER

And his opponent, weighing in at 240 pounds...he is a former WORLD Heavyweight champion, and the REIGNING and DEFENDING OAOAST Heartland champion...ALFDOGG!!!!!

 

Alf slides into the ring and poses in the corners, taking the time to find the box Knight is in and pointing up to him. He makes a "belt around the waist" motion and then meets Brock and the referee in the center of the ring. The referee explains the same rules which were explained by Tony before, and then raises the belt in the air as Alf and Brock back off into their corners.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Alf and Brock circle the ring, and then tie up. Brock quickly shoves Alf back into his corner, then does a double bicep pose, which is received with a round of boos.

 

COLE

And Brock showing his surperior power, which I'm sure all of these people knew he had!

 

COACH

Yeah, I can't believe Alf was stupid enough to try that!

 

Alf gets up and circles the ring again, then moves in and grabs a rear waistlock. Brock struggles, and can't escape the hold. Eventually, he manages to grab one of Alf's legs and trip him up. Alf pushes Brock off into the ropes with his free leg, then catches him with a monkey flip! Brock bounces right back up and charges Alf, but gets caught in an armdrag! Brock comes up in his corner and kicks the bottom rope.

 

COLE

And Brock extremely frustrated here in the early going!

 

Brock comes out of his corner and gets right in Alf's face, then delivers a slap right across it! Brock stays on Alf, pounding on him in the corner. Brock then brings Alf out and whips him into the ropes. Brock drops down and Alf hops over, then Brock turns over to attempt a reverse monkey flip, but Alf sees it coming and drops a fist right between the eyes!

 

COLE

Brock tries the same move and Alf a little too smart for it!

 

Brock gets up holding his face, and when he turns to face Alf again, he's met with a wad of spit to the face!

 

COACH

Ohhhhhhhhh ho! Alf's really pushing his limits now!

 

Brock charges Alf again, but Alf catches him with a drop toe hold! Alf then jumps across Brock and hooks a headlock, quickly switching to a front facelock!

 

COLE

Some good mat wrestling being shown by Alf here, Coach!

 

COACH

I just...I can't believe the way this match is going so far.

 

CABOOSE

Well, you heard Axel and Peter Knight a few weeks ago, they talked about how Alf can't wrestle without gimmicks, but I hope they're watching the clinic that Alf is putting on right now!

 

Brock is able to make his way to his feet, then he picks up Alf and tosses him off across the ring!

 

COACH

And once again, Brock with the superior strength!

 

Brock comes at Alf, but gets caught in another armdrag!

 

CABOOSE

But Alf just too quick right now for Brock!

 

Alf switches to a wristlock, and paintbrushes Brock on the mat!

 

COACH

I can't believe this, what Alf's doing to Brock right now!

 

COLE

Alf's trying to frustrate him, and it's always tough to wrestle angry.

 

COACH

And just how would you know that?

 

COLE

...

 

Suddenly, Brock pops up, and picks up Alf for the F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111

 

COACH

Oh yeah, Alf might pay for it now, though!

 

Brock spins Alf around...but Alf hangs onto the wrist and drags him over and to the mat!

 

COLE

But look at Alf hang onto the hold! I don't think I've ever seen that move countered like that!

 

CABOOSE

That's because you've never seen me do it.

 

Alf wrenches the arm, then hooks Brock and takes him over with a Northern Lights suplex!

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

Kickout!

 

COLE

First pin attempt of the match, and Brock is out at two!

 

Alf picks up Brock, and delivers a vertical suplex!

 

COLE

And a little power there, too!

 

CABOOSE

Alf's putting it all on display tonight!

 

COLE

Here's another pin attempt...

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

Kickout!

 

Alf picks up Brock, who reverses an Irish whip. Alf hops over Brock, then ducks a clothesline, but gets caught in a powerslam!

 

COACH

Speaking of power...

 

Brock poses briefly, then covers...

 

1...

 

 

2...

 

 

Kickout!

 

Brock picks up Alf, lifting him overhead for a PRESS SLAM~! Brock takes his time, turning to show each section of the crowd, then simply drops Alf behind him to the mat! Brock turns Alf over and drops a knee to the sternum, then covers...

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

COACH

Those kickouts are getting weaker and weaker, Cole! I think Alf might be in danger of going down a fall here!

 

Brock whips Alf into a corner, and follows him in with an avalanche!

 

COLE

Brock Ausstin with all 300 pounds plus crushing Alf in the corner!

 

Brock looks for some accolades from the crowd, and doesn't get them. He then whips Alf back into the other corner, but this time takes some more time to preen to the crowd, and Alf slides out of the way! Brock falls to the mat, and Alf quickly goes up to the top rope!

 

COLE

Here it is! Alf's got a chance right now!

 

Alf leaps through the air, but sees Brock rolling out of the way and rolls over on the mat ala Eddie Guerrero, only to be turned inside out by a Brock clothesline!

 

COACH

But Brock knew where he was at all times, and he's still got the advantage! I love it!

 

COLE

What a shot that was!

 

Brock lifts Alf off the mat, and takes him overhead with a belly-to-belly! Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

Shoulder up! Brock starts to get on the referee's case.

 

COLE

Brock wanting a faster count from the referee right there.

 

CABOOSE

Nothing wrong with that count at all, it's been consistent all the way.

 

Brock picks up Alf and sets him up for a running powerslam, once again taking time out to showboat. Alf slips behind the back and shoves Brock off into a corner, then catches him coming back with a German suplex!

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

NO! Brock slips out!

 

COLE

Nice counter by Alf, but Brock able to escape!

 

Alf makes it to his feet first, and runs to the ropes. Alf ducks a clothesline, but as he comes back, they both clothesline each other!

 

COLE

Oh, both men down and out of it!

 

The crowd counts along with the referee...

 

1!!!

 

 

2!!!

 

 

3!!!

 

 

4!!!

 

 

5!!!

 

 

6!!!

 

 

7!!!

 

 

8!!!

 

 

Alf sits up! Alf starts to climb to his feet, as Brock gets to his. Brock with a right hand, but Alf blocks and delivers one of his own! Brock tries again, and gets the same result! Brock tries a third right, blocked, then a left, blocked, then Alf moves in and converts an overhead belly-to-belly! Alf struggles back to his feet, and delivers a superkick! Alf then goes to the top rope!

 

COLE

And Alf back to the top once again!

 

COACH

But Brock's going to meet him!

 

Brock starts to climb from the inside as Alf does so from the outside. Alf tries to pound Brock down, but catches a thumb to the eye. Both men are now standing on the top rope, and Alf takes a wild swing. Brock ducks, grabs a rear waistlock...and delivers a GERMAN SUPLEX FROM THE TOP ROPE, with Alf flipping backwards and landing on his face and chest!

 

TRIPLE C

:o

 

Brock rolls over for the cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!!!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

COLE

And Brock Ausstin has won the first fall!

 

BUFFER

The winner of the first fall...BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROCK AUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

 

NN!!!!!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Score

Brock: 1

Alf: 0

Time remaining: 52:58

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The camera shows PK pumping his fist and then goes back to show Rick Heyross with a pleased look on his face.

 

TONY

Brock Ausstin the winner of the first fall, that means Rick Heyross spins the wheel as we hit the 30-second resting period.

 

Rick Heyross grabs the wheel, and gives it a spin. The wheel stops, and Heyross is elated with the result.

 

TONY

Next fall...it's a FIRST BLOOD match! The first man to draw blood from his opponent will be the winner of the fall, and we'll come back here when that happens! Back out to Sofa Central!

 

(7:32)

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*DING DING DING*

 

COLE

Thanks, Tony, we're back again with Alf now down 2 falls to 0!

 

COACH

And I gotta wonder how Alf has ANY hope in hell of winning any World title match at AngleMania after this showing.

 

CABOOSE

There's still a long ways to go in this one, over 45 minutes, to be exact. Just shut up and watch.

 

Brock hammers away on the open wound of Alf, then bites him.

 

COACH

That'll do it, maybe he'll just eat his flesh until he submits!

 

Brock picks up Alf in a bodyslam position, and drops him on the knee! He then picks him back up.

 

COACH

And look at the power here!

 

Brock drops him on the knee a second time! He then picks Alf up once again, and completes the move a third time! Brock then picks up Alf once again and applies an abdominal stretch!

 

COLE

And what must Alf be feeling in this hold after suffering that triple backbreaker?

 

Brock grabs onto the ropes to add pressure to the hold. Brock holds, then lets go as the referee gets up to check.

 

CABOOSE

I don't know what the referee's admonishing him for, the only way this fall can be decided is by submission!

 

Brock then turns and falls to the mat with the hold. He also drives his forearm into Alf's face, putting pressure on his neck, as well. Alf slowly fades away, and the referee checks the arm.

 

1!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Alf holds through on the third lift! He builds up strength, and manages to get his other arm free, rolling backwards to escape Brock's grasp! He catches Brock with a quick DDT as he's getting up! Both men are out on the mat, but Alf makes it to his feet first, and as Brock is getting up, Alf comes off the ropes and hits a short dropkick right into Brock's face! Brock rolls out of the ring, and Alf follows. Alf rams Brock's head into the apron, and then attempts a suplex on the floor!

 

COLE

A suplex coming up, perhaps!

 

Brock blocks, however, and delivers one of his own! Brock slowly gets to his feet, and rolls back into the ring.

 

CABOOSE

And you can see some fatigue starting to set in on Brock, as well, even though he's controlled most of this match, obviously, up 2-0.

 

Brock waits on Alf to climb to the apron, then hammers him with forearms. Brock tries to back suplex Alf from the apron to the ring, but Alf flips over the back and comes back with a Hart Attack clothesline! Both men are out on the mat once again, but Alf again makes it to his feet first. Alf CHOPS~! away at Brock in the corner, then slowly rams his head into the buckle as the crowd counts along!

 

1!!!

 

 

2!!!

 

 

3!!!

 

 

4!!!

 

 

5!!!

 

 

6!!!

 

 

7!!!

 

 

8!!!

 

 

9!!!

 

 

10!!!

 

Brock falls backwards and to the mat, and Alf catches him with a snap legdrop! Alf then tries a standing moonsault, but Brock is able to get the knees up!

 

COLE

And Alf had something going briefly, but it's Brock on top once again!

 

Brock sets Alf in the corner, and starts driving knees into the midsection. He then picks Alf's head up, and lays in CHOPS~! Alf chops back, and the two start trading them out of the corner! Alf quickly sticks two fingers into the eyes of Brock!

 

COACH

Cheap shot!

 

Alf then grabs Brock by the head, and gives him a big headbutt, sending him to the mat and causing Alf himself to stagger back into the corner. Alf regains his breath, then comes off the second rope and drives an elbow into Brock! Alf picks Brock up and pulls him into the corner again, but this time Brock goes to the eyes!

 

COACH

Smart move by Brock Ausstin!

 

CABOOSE

I thought it was a cheap move?

 

COACH

No.

 

Brock measures Alf, and drops an elbow on him. Brock then backs slowly into the ropes, and drops a second one. Brock picks up Alf and follows with a gutwrench suplex.

 

COLE

Suplex, nicely executed by Brock Ausstin!

 

Brock turns Alf over, and applies a camel clutch!

 

COACH

Another submission hold, Brock could seal the deal right here!

 

Brock puts the arms over his knees and crossfaces Alf as the referee asks him if he wants to give it up. Alf won't oblige. Brock feels an arm start to slip free, so he releases, then drops knees to the back. Brock drops four knees, then reapplies the hold.

 

COACH

He's just making sure now!

 

Brock cranks back on the hold for several seconds, and the referee checks Alf's arm.

 

1!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Alf holds through again! Alf starts to come up, but Brock releases again and jumps, landing with his ass on Alf's lower back! He then tries to apply the hold a third time, but Alf sandbags him, and is able to move a leg around. Alf swings his other leg around, and kicks both feet right into Brock's chin! Brock falls back into a corner, and Alf follows him over and drives in shoulders. Brock catches him with a knee on one shoulder, but misses a clothesline, and Alf knocks him down with a dropkick! Alf picks him up, but Brock reverses an Irish whip. Alf ducks another clothesline, and they collide in mid-ring!

 

COLE

And both men out once again here!

 

This time, Brock gets to his feet first, albeit slowly. He waits as Alf slowly gets to his feet, and traps him in a bearhug!

 

COLE

And Brock really trying to wear down the ribs of Alf here!

 

Brock cinches in and jerks Alf back and forth. Alf briefly gets a forearm under the chin, but Brock squeezes and Alf drops it back down. Alf fades once again, and the referee lifts his arm.

 

1!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And once again, Alf stays in it!

 

COACH

How long can this guy hold out?

 

COLE

Alf coming back once again, as this match has hit the 20-minute mark!

 

Alf delivers a headbutt to Brock! Then a second! A third! Alf then bites Brock right on the bridge of the nose! Brock releases, and Alf knocks him through the ropes with a superkick! Alf then goes to a far corner to rest.

 

COACH

And Alf being really smart right here, to not risk more damage on the floor and get his wind back, give his ribs and lower back some time ro rest!

 

As Brock starts to roll back into the ring, Alf grabs the chair from the other side of ringside. Once Brock gets his body in, Alf starts hammering him with the chair!

 

CABOOSE

Brock's like the little alligator at the arcade, and Alf's swinging the mallot! Or in this case, the chair!

 

Alf slams the chair to the mat, and the crowd roars its approval! Alf drops a knee to the sternum, then drags Brock by the legs towards the ringpost! Alf waits for the crowd to get loud, then yanks Brock, crotching him on the post!

 

COLE

Well, I've got no arcade analogies for that one.

 

CABOOSE

No, but I bet Brock's got some sore Skee-balls right now!

 

COACH

Oh, that's REAL cute.

 

Alf then rams Brock's leg into the ringpost, then does it a second time! Alf then sets one leg over the other, drawing a BIG roar from the crowd!

 

COACH

Oh, no!

 

Alf lifts his leg up, then drops himself down, executing the RINGPOST FIGURE FOUR~! Brock screams in pain, and the crowd screams in delight!

 

COLE

Listen to this place!

 

Alf finally releases the hold after some prodding from the referee, then jumps up and shoves the referee to the floor!

 

COACH

Oh, come on!

 

CABOOSE

And the referee can do nothing about it!

 

Brock is hobbling in the ring, and Alf slides in and KICKS HIS LEG OUT OF HIS LEG~! Brock struggles to his feet, and Alf does it again! Alf lets Brock get to his feet again, then pulls his leg out from under him and applies an STF!

 

COLE

Submission hold from Alf now, an STF!

 

COACH

STFU, Cole!

 

COLE

What did I say?

 

COACH

That's what the kids call that hold these days, I hear.

 

CABOOSE

Well, that guy's not as proficient at this hold as I'm sure Alf is, we could see Alf narrow the gap right here!

 

Brock attempts to remove Alf's hands with his own, but Alf yanks at Brock and he drops them. Brock struggles, pulling himself towards the ropes with his elbows.

 

COACH

But look! He's still got that power in him!

 

Brock is able to grab the bottom rope!

 

COACH

And he makes the ropes, I love it!

 

Alf releases the hold, then pulls him out from the ropes. However, Brock grabs Alf by the pants and pulls him through the ropes to the outside!

 

COLE

And Brock buying himself some time, and those are precious seconds for Alf right now!

 

Alf gets back up on the apron, and delivers a shoulder to the gut of Brock! Brock staggers backward, and Alf springs to the top rope and flies in, but Brock catches him with a powerslam! Brock then grabs the chair and sets it up in mid-ring. Brock sets up a powerbomb, but Alf slides out of it in front of Brock and delivers a foot to the gut. Brock quickly drops to his knees and delivers a low blow! Brock then comes back up and executes the powerbomb, sending Alf right through the chair!

 

COACH

Oh man, that's it! Slap on a hold here, Brock, and you got it!

 

CABOOSE

What hold will he try this time, I wonder?

 

Brock lifts Alf up onto his shoulder.

 

COACH

Oh, backbreaker!

 

Brock hooks Alf under the chin, then drops to his knees with him! The crowd groans in reaction.

 

COLE

No, he drops with it!

 

COACH

Thats was just for insurance, now he's going to put a hold on!

 

Brock plants his knees into Alf's back, and rolls over with a BOW-AND-ARROW hold!

 

COLE

And the bow-and-arrow will be the choice of Brock this time! We see one of his partners, Charlie Moss, utilize this one a lot, including against Alf this past Thursday! It didn't work then, will it work here?

 

COACH

No way, Alf's done this time!

 

Brock cranks back on Alf, who fades quickly. However, Alf begins to swing his arms around, and manages to roll the hold over and reach the ropes!

 

COACH

I can't believe this!

 

CABOOSE

I can. I've been through it all in the OAOAST, and I've got to give him his due...if there's any one man who can take all this punishment without packing it in, it's Alf!

 

Brock releases the hold, and stomps away at Alf on the mat. He then picks up Alf for another backbreaker, but this time Alf manages to push off of the corner with his feet, then land on his feet on the mat and take Brock over with a backdrop!

 

COACH

And how can he still backdrop the 300-pound Brock after the punishment to his back?

 

Alf kneels down in the corner to recover. Brock slowly gets up and grabs Alf from behind, but Alf responds with a kick between the legs, sending Brock to the mat once again! Alf walks over to Brock and sets him up for a powerbomb, but Brock blocks and backdrops Alf!

 

CABOOSE

Well, I think that was a heat-check on Alf's part, and it backfired.

 

Brock then drags the mangled chair which Alf went through earlier, and sets it in the middle of the ring. He sets Alf up for the F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111...but Alf counters it with a DDT onto the chair!

 

COLE

Big move form Alf there! Let's see if he can capitalize!

 

Alf crawls over to the corner and grabs the kendo stick, then gets to his feet and waits on Brock. When Brock turns around, Alf gives him a HUGE whack with the stick right between the eyes! Brock falls backwards to the mat like a sack of potatoes, and blood soon starts flowing from his forehead!

 

COLE

What a shot by Alf, and now it's Brock Ausstin busted open!

 

Alf grabs Brock's legs, and hooks him in a SHARPSHOOTER~!!!

 

COLE

Sharpshooter locked in, could this be the thing to cut the deficit in half?

 

Brock screams in pain as he struggles to the ropes, but Alf pulls him back to the center! Brock tries to move to another corner, but Alf pulls him back once again! Brock makes one last attempt for ropes, but finally has to TAP OUT!!!

 

COLE

YES! Alf has cut the deficit in half!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

BUFFER

The winner of the third fall...ALFDOGG!!!!!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Score

Brock: 2

Alf: 1

Time remaining: 34:19

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

As Alf releases the hold and slumps to the mat in exhaustion, Knight stands and claps his hands, yelling more encouragement Brock's way.

 

COLE

Back to Tony at the wheel!

 

TONY

Thanks Michael, and Alf has narrowed the deficit, so now it's Reject's turn to spin the wheel for the first time.

 

Tony steps back, and Reject gives the wheel a spin. When the wheel stops, Rick Heyross's frown turns upside down.

 

TONY

The next fall...will be contested under NWA RULES! For those who aren't aware of these rules, direct yourself to the graphic that's about to appear on the screen.

 

*graphic appears on screen*

 

There will be no mats around the ringside area!

 

COLE

And in fact, the ring attendants are moving those right now, Tony!

 

TONY

You can not use the ringpost or the guardrails to ram your opponent into, or it's an automatic disqualification! And finally, if you throw your opponent over the top rope, or perform a movethat requires jumping off the top rope, you will also be disqualified immediately!

 

COACH

And that last one's the killer for Alf, I gotta think!

 

TONY

Should make for a very interesting fall! Back to the couch!

 

(26:11)

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*DING DING DING*

 

COLE

But as we've just seen, Coach, Alf can also win a match by keeping it on the mat as opposed to taking it to the air!

 

Alf goes to work on Brock, delivering a back suplex! Alf follows with a clothesline, then a second which sends him over the top to the floor!

 

CABOOSE

Now that's not a DQ if you *knock* them over the top, you just can't *throw* them over, am I correct?

 

COLE

That's right.

 

COACH

And now Brock has time ro rest, because under NWA rules, there's no brawling out on the floor! So he can take a nine-count out there!

 

COLE

And it looks like that's what he's going to do!

 

Brock does take a nine-count before climbing back in, and challenges Alf to a test of strength! Alf slowly puts his hand up, and Brock promptly grabs it and twists it!

 

COACH

Another dumb move by Alf!

 

Alf hangs on, and thumbs Brock in the eye!

 

CABOOSE

But a smart move there, that's what you said earlier!

 

COACH

No, that's a cheap move! That's what I said!

 

CABOOSE

No.

 

Alf fires off right hands on Brock, then hits a dropkick which sends him through the ropes, but he stays on the apron. Alf brings him back in with a suplex! Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Alf whips Brock into the ropes, and waits on him for a clothesline, but Brock runs right through him with one of his own! Brock stops to pose, then whips Alf into the ropes and puts his head down, receiving a foot to the face for his miscue! Alf follows up with a fisherman's suplex!

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Alf waits on Brock again, and executes a small package!

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Brock quickly rolls to the outside once again, and the referee backs Alf off. Brock walks around the ring, taking an eight-count before climbing back in. Alf pounces, hammering Brock on the ropes, and when Brock reverses an Irish whip, goes for a sunset flip. Brock, however, pulls Alf up by the ears and gives him an overhead belly-to-belly!

 

COLE

And Brock Ausstin once again showing off his tremendous strength!

 

Brock picks up Alf, and whips him into the corner, following him in with an avalanche! Brock shoves Alf forward to the mat, then turns him over and drops an elbow! Brock backs into the ropes and drops a second one! Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shoulder up!

 

Brock delivers some kicks to Alf's midsection, then picks him up and takes him over with a double underhook suplex! Brock then gets to his feet and waits on Alf to stand...

 

COACH

Uh oh, Brock could be looking for the Katahajime here!

 

Alf gets to his feet, and Brock comes behind him and hooks the KATAHAJIME~!!!

 

COLE

Katahajime hooked, and this could well secure another fall for Brock Ausstin!

 

Alf struggles to try to get to the ropes, but Brock drops to the mat with the hold! Alf reaches for the ropes, but Brock keeps cranking and Alf slowly fades. The referee checks his arm...

 

1!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Alf holds through! Alf puts his hand on the mat, and rolls himself over into the ropes!

 

COLE

And Alf somehow able to survive the Katahajime of Brock Ausstin!

 

Brock releases the hold after the four-count, and then picks Alf up and drives him with a running powerslam! Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO! Alf gets the shoulder up!

 

Brock gets frustrated, and starts complaining to the referee. He then goes over to Alf in the corner, but Alf delivers a right hand! Alf slugs his way out of the corner, then attempts an Irish whip. Brock reverses, then drops down and Alf hops over. Alf ducks a clothesline, then Brock attempts a spinebuster, but Alf is able to swing around and counter with a DDT! Both men are out on the mat, and the referee begins his count!

 

1!!!

 

 

2!!!

 

 

3!!!

 

 

4!!!

 

 

5!!!

 

 

6!!!

 

 

7!!!

 

 

8!!!

 

Alf sits up, then gets to his feet.

 

COLE

And Alf the first to recover, as a half-hour has gone by! We're at the halfway point of this match!

 

Brock gets to his, as well, and Alf whips him into a corner. Alf runs to the corner, and Brock sticks a foot up, but Alf catches it, sets it down, and delivers a stiff right to the jaw! Alf delivers knees to the midsection of Brock, then sets him up on the top rope. Alf follows Brock up, and takes him down with a HURRICANRANA!

 

COACH

NO WAY! That's a top rope move! He should be disqualified!

 

COLE

No, only if you jump off the top onto your opponent!

 

Alf picks up Brock, and goes for a vertical suplex. However, Brock's feet knock the referee to the mat on the way up! Alf tries it again, and Brock slips behind the back and hits a German suplex! The referee comes to, runs over and counts...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!! NO! Alf slips out!

 

COACH

Tough break for Brock right there!

 

CABOOSE

Tough break for Brock? The referee getting knocked down is what allowed him to regain the advantage!

 

Brock picks up Alf, and drives him with a gutwrench powerbomb! The referee counts...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Brock hops up, incensed at the referee.

 

CABOOSE

Referee out of position on that one, and Brock letting him know about it!

 

Brock picks up Alf, and sets him up in the corner. Brock follows him up.

 

COLE

What could Brock be looking for here?

 

COACH

I dunno, belly-to-belly off the top, possibly?

 

Alf grabs Brock, and headbutts him down to the mat! Alf then steps up to the top...

 

COLE

Oh no, Alf, what are you doing???

 

Alf leaps off and hits the FIVE-STAR ALF SPLASH~!!!!!11111 But the referee calls for the bell!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

COLE

Oh, no! Alf's been disqualified! He forgot about the rules!

 

CABOOSE

Well, I think it's instinct for him to hit that move when the opponent's in that position, Cole. He's been pounded on for about a half-hour now, and he's thinking more in terms of survival.

 

BUFFER

The winner of the fourth fall, by disqualification...BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROCK AUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

 

 

NN!!!!!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Score

Brock: 3

Alf: 1

Time remaining: 28:52

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Knight high-fives someone sitting next to him and laughs as he applauds Alf's mistake.

 

COLE

Take it, Tony!

 

TONY

All right, big fall for Brock Ausstin, it's now 3-1! You know what this means, Rick Heyross, spin the wheel!

 

Heyross gives the wheel a spin, and once again likes the result.

 

TONY

It's a STRETCHER-TO-AMBULANCE match!

 

COLE

I've never heard of that one, explain!

 

TONY

Well, it's just like it sounds, a combination of a stretcher match and an ambulance match! To win, you have to put your opponent on the stretcher, which you'll see sitting at the front of the entranceway, and roll him to the other end of the entranceway, where you'll see the ambulance pulling in right there! A ramp will be placed at the back of the ambulance, and you must roll your opponent on the stretcher up that ramp and into the ambulance to win the fall! If the wrestler gets off of the stretcher, the referee will then roll the stretcher back to its starting point, and we repeat the process! Back out to Sofa Central!

 

(31:38)

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*DING DING DING*

 

Alf picks up Brock, and pitches him over the top rope. When Brock gets to his feet, Alf follows him out with a SOMERSAULT PLANCHA~!

 

COLE

And you know Alf's been waiting to do one of those legally!

 

Alf hammers Brock on the floor, then picks him up and gives him a suplex on the floor! Alf then walks Brock over to the stretcher, and gives him a headbutt, sending him backwards onto it.

 

COACH

And Alf looking for a quickie right here!

 

Alf pushes the stretcher about halfway down the aisle, before Brock comes to, then sits up and hammers away at Alf. Brock gets off the stretcher, and the referee pulls it back to the front of the aisle. Alf and Brock hammer it out in the aisleway, with Brock getting the better of the exchange, then picking up Alf and dropping him on the guardrail!

 

COLE

That would have been a DQ in the last fall, but of course anything goes in this fall! The only rule is to roll your opponent on the stretcher into the ambulance and shut the doors!

 

CABOOSE

And they're going for it quick!

 

Brock has Alf and is now pushing him towards the ambulance! Brock makes it about halfway down the aisle, before Alf starts kicking him in the face. Alf then gets off the stretcher and chases Brock back to the ring. As Brock climbs back up onto the apron, Alf catches up to him and gives him a low blow! Brock falls through the ropes into the ring, and Alf climbs to the top rope, hitting Brock with a missile dropkick! Alf waits on Brock to get up, then delivers an overhead belly-to-belly!

 

COLE

And here come those suplexes!

 

Alf catches Brock getting up and delivers a snap suplex! Alf then awaits Brock to get up once again, and delivers a T-Bone suplex!

 

COACH

And that was a very weak suplex, you can detect the extreme fatigue coming across Alf, and Brock for that matter.

 

Alf charges at Brock, who backdrops him over the top, but Alf lands on the apron and thumbs Brock in the eyes! As Brock stands at the ropes, Alf springs to the top, then drops, catching Brock around the head and taking him to the outside with a hurricanrana! Alf grabs Brock by the leg, in an attempt to pull him to the stretcher. Brock pulls a chair out from underneath the ring with him, however, and when Alf forces him to his feet, turns around and SMACKS Alf in the head with it, sending him onto the stretcher!

 

COACH

YEAH! Wheel him, Brock, this one's yours!

 

Alf is out, as Brock wheels him up the aisle to the ambulance. Brock rolls him up the ramp...

 

COLE

He's in!

 

Alf is in the ambulance, but before shutting the doors, Brock stops to talk trash, and is met with a bedpan to the skull!

 

COLE

Wow, did you hear that?

 

Alf turns over on the stretcher, and rolls down the ramp. The referee returns to stretcher to its starting point as Alf hammers Brock with the bedpan some more!

 

CABOOSE

I hope Alf put gloves on! Who knows what's been in that thing!

 

Brock tries to get away, but Alf follows him and clotheslines him to the floor from behind! Alf then picks Brock up and whips him into the side of the ambulance!

 

COLE

And Brock goes hard right into the side of that ambulance!

 

Alf drags Brock back up the aisle, and suplexes him onto the stretcher! Alf then pushes the stretcher down the aisle, stopping in front of the ambulance to hammer Brock with the bedpan some more. However, Brock blocks the bedpan, and gets off the stretcher. Brock gives Alf a foot to the gut, and has possession of the bedpan. Alf goes down, but grabs the chair that Brock used on him earlier. Brock brings the bedpan back to give Alf a shot, and Alf comes up and LEVELS brock with the chair!

 

COLE

NOW, get the stretcher Alf!

 

However, Alf doesn't get the stretcher, instead setting up four tables a few feet from the ambulance.

 

CABOOSE

What is Alf doing?

 

Alf then grabs Brock, picks him up and sets him on top of the tables.

 

COLE

High-risk for Alf here, if this pays off, then he can definitely put Brock in that ambulance! If he misses, though, I think this is do-or-die time!

 

Alf scales the ambulance as the crowd buzzes. Alf looks out to the crowd, then jumps off for the FIVE-STAR ALF SPLASH~!!!!!11111

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...but Brock moves, taking a bump to the concrete himself, as Alf crashes through all four tables!

 

TRIPLE C

:o

 

COACH

Oh man, that's it! Dumb move by Alf, a big risk I don't think he really needed to take!

 

CABOOSE

I'll have to...uh...

 

COACH

Come on.;)

 

CABOOSE

...agree.

 

COACH

Atta boy!

 

CABOOSE

:throwup:

 

Brock slowly recovers, and pulls Alf out of the wreckage, taking him back to the ring in a fireman's carry. Brock rolls Alf into the ring, himself just wanting to make sure, and delivers the F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111

 

COLE

And that's the exclamation point on this fall!

 

COACH

And the match!

 

COLE

Remains to be seen, but it's looking like you're right at this point!

 

Brock tosses Alf over the top, and puts him on the stretcher. Brock easily wheels him up the aisle, and into the ambulance, then shuts the doors.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

COLE

And Brock Ausstin has won four out of five falls over Alfdogg!

 

BUFFER

The winner of the fifth fall...BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROCK AUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

 

 

 

NN!!!!!

 

Knight leaps to his feet once again, repeatedly pumping his fist .

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Score

Brock: 4

Alf: 1

Time remaining: 22:02

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

COLE

Peter Knight definitely loves what he's seeing right now.

 

CABOOSE

To think, these two hated each other six months ago.

 

COACH

Knight hates Alfdogg. Brock hates Alfdogg. Ergo, Knight and Brock both hate Alfdogg. Is that too complicated?

 

CABOOSE

Did you say "ergo"?

 

COACH

I can talk English gooder than you think.

 

COLE

Back to Tony!

 

TONY

OK...spin the wheel, Mr. Heyross!

 

Nothing can break the spirits of Rick Heyross at this point, as he spins the wheel and watches it land.

 

TONY

The next fall will be FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE! I don't think I need to elaborate on this one. Back to Sofa Central!

 

(38:28)

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*DING DING DING*

 

COLE

Wait a minute, what's Brock doing?

 

Brock has thrown the driver of the ambulance out to the floor and jumped inside! He drives backstage, and swerves the ambulance around so that the back end is facing a wall of oil barrels!

 

COLE

...no, don't do it, Brock!

 

Brock starts honking the horn, then suddenly jumps out of the ambulance holding his face. Alf follows shortly after, holding a bottle of rubbing alcohol, which he then throws at Brock.

 

COLE

Alf obviously dumped some of that alcohol right over the head of Brock, and he has that open wound on his forehead, as does Alf!

 

Alf follows Brock and tosses him into the conveniently placed stick which holds up a pile of small steel pipes. The pipes fall on Brock, then Alf grabs one and slams it on the back of Brock, causing it to bend on impact! Alf covers...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Brock quickly pulls Alf into the pile of pipes, then makes a getaway, climbing up the stairs. The camera follows him up the stairs, which lead to the main level, where fans swarm the scene as security attempts to hold them back. Brock staggers to the top of the stairs, when the elevator opens, and Alf runs out and delivers a bulldog to Brock! Alf picks up Brock and the two slug it out in the middle of the crowd of fans!

 

CABOOSE

And they're headed for the concession stands!

 

Alf gets the better of the slugfest, knocking Brock to the floor. He then goes over and grabs some cotton candy, eating it on his way back over to Brock.

 

COLE

A little snack break here for Alf, it looks like, as we've hit the 40-minute mark in this match!

 

Alf uses some of his cotton candy to rake the eyes of Brock!

 

COLE

Shades of George "The Animal" Steele, when he would use the turnbuckle stuffings for that same purpose!

 

Alf shoves the whole thing, cone and all, right into the face of Brock. He then picks Brock up and rams his face into a counter. Brock rolls onto the counter, and Alf leans over it for a cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Brock slips out and over to the other side of the counter.

 

COACH

Hey, hot dogs!

 

Alf leaps over the counter and tackles Brock to the floor! Alf hammers away at Brock as the referee hops over the counter to join them. Brock delivers a low blow to Alf, then picks him up in a powerslam position...and carries him over to the FRYERS!!!

 

COLE

Oh, come on, now!

 

COACH

This is great! Brock's going to turn Alf's head into one giant funnel cake! Haha!

 

CABOOSE

Or maybe a deep-fried Twinkie, right?

 

COACH

Hey, I like that! :headbang:

 

CABOOSE

Oh, here comes that "agreeing" stuff again, I need to be more careful!

 

Brock attempts to dunk Alf's head right into the fryers, as nearby fans scream. Alf thumbs Brock, however, and slips behind the back, then shoves Brock's hand into the fryer!

 

COLE

Oh NO!

 

CABOOSE

Chicken fingers for everyone!

 

COACH

Stop it!

 

When Alf turns around to meet Brock again, he's met with a fry basket to the head! Brock then picks up Alf by the back of the pants and the neck and throws him head-first through a glass heating case!

 

COLE

Alf head-first through the glass!

 

COACH

Aw, man! All those pretzels, gone to waste!

 

Brock quickly heads over towards the slushy stand, swiping a kid's cup along the way and pouring it on his hand. He then takes the lid off the machine and sticks his hand in it. Whe the vendor gives him a hard time, Brock knocks him cold on the floor with a left hand! Alf slowly makes his way over to Brock, who pulls his hand out and nails Alf, dropping him back to the floor! Brock walks over and grabs one of Alf's own T-shirts, and begins choking Alf out with it! Brock releases, then covers Alf...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shoulder up!

 

COLE

Two-count, as Alf and Brock continue to fight it out in the concession stands!

 

Brock picks Alf up, and whips him into another counter, then clotheslines him over it! Alf lands sitting up against a cabinet, and Brock climbs over the counter. Brock discovers the nacho cheese dispenser, and starts squirting Alf in the face with the cheese! Brock then grabs a ready tray of nachos and slams them on Alf's head!

 

COACH

Well, I've had hair in my food before, but I've never gone out to eat and had food in my hair!

 

Brock slowly picks up Alf, and gives him an overhead belly-to-belly, with Alf landing on the counter and falling off on the other side! Brock climbs over and covers...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO! Shoulder up!

 

Brock picks up Alf, who grabs a beer vendor by the arm of his shirt, and pulls him into Brock! Brock, the vendor, and the beer tray all go crashing to the floor, as Alf grabs the tray and slams it over Brock's head. Alf then walks quickly (well, as quickly as he can at this point) over to a beer dispenser and sprays himself in the face, removing the cheese.

 

COACH

Alf should be more worried about his title than about a little cheese on his face! (There's a line you'll never hear uttered in a match.)

 

Alf sprays Brock - and the vendor - with the beer, before coming off the counter with an elbow! Cover...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO! Shoulder up!

 

Alf pulls Brock up, but Brock gets in another low blow! Brock then leads Alf back over towards the hot dog stand, and tosses him over the counter. He grabs ketchup and mustard guns and gives Alf a little shower, before putting the boots to him. Brock then grabs the beer dispenser, and hoses Alf down himself. He stops to spray a little into his mouth, drawing a cheap pop from nearby fans. Brock acknowledges them by raising his arms...then turns to have a pickle jar shattered over his head! Alf covers...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

COLE

There's a pin! Maybe a small ray of hope for Alf now!

 

BUFFER

The winner of the sixth fall...ALFDOGG!!!!!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Score

Brock: 4

Alf: 2

Time remaining: 14:54

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

COACH

I just can't see it, Cole! Alf's got to win two falls in 15 minutes just to *tie* this match!

 

COLE

And as the wrestlers make their way back to the ring area, let's find out what one of those falls will be, from Tony Schiavone!

 

TONY

Thanks again, Michael...well, Reject, maybe a little hope now, as the match is 3/4 done. And you finally get another chance to spin the wheel!

 

Reject grabs the wheel, takes a deep breath, and spins. Rick Heyross' confidence is starting to chip a little bit, as the wheel stops.

 

TONY

A NUNCHUCKS-ON-A-POLE match! Just like any pole match, the participant has to climb the pole and grab the item before he can use it! This is the only item that can come into play in this match! Let's go back out to Triple C!

 

(45:36)

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*DING DING DING*

 

COLE

Well, the chips seem to be falling in Alf's favor now...he's been known for being good with a set of nunchucks!

 

Alf rolls Brock back into the ring, and hammers away at him in the corner. Brock starts firing back, and eventually gets the better of the exchange. Brock whips Alf HARD into the corner, then makes his way up for the weapon!

 

COACH

And Brock's going to get the nunchucks already!

 

Alf struggles to his feet, and pulls Brock down. Brock goes to the eyes, then whips Alf into another corner. Brock pauses, then charges, but Alf gets his feet up! Alf then comes out of the corner with a Hart Attack clothesline, and makes his way to the pole!

 

CABOOSE

Alf could get it here!

 

Alf is standing on the top rope, when Brock runs over and takes him off with a belly-to-belly!

 

COLE

Belly-to-belly off the top from Brock, what a devastating move!

 

Brock poses, then picks Alf up and delivers a big backbreaker! Brock drops a knee to the sternum, and goes for the nunchucks!

 

COLE

And now Brock on his way up the pole!

 

COACH

No, he stopped!

 

Brock sees Alf coming, then jumps down and clotheslines him back down! Brock goes to the ropes, but Alf takes him down with a drop toehold! Alf then gets up and goes to the ropes, but Brock rolls out of the way, avoiding an elbowdrop, and takes another shot at getting the stick!

 

COLE

And Brock up the pole once again!

 

Alf gets up, walks over, and delivers a low blow! Alf then picks him off the second rope in an electric chair, and drops back to the mat with him! Both men are down and out, and the referee counts...

 

1!!!

 

 

2!!!

 

 

3!!!

 

 

4!!!

 

 

5!!!

 

 

6!!!

 

 

7!!!

 

 

8!!!

 

 

Both men get up at aproximately the same time, and both go to the ropes, colliding in mid-ring, and both stumble backwards and through the ropes!

 

COLE

Mid-ring collision, and both men through and out to the floor!

 

Brock makes his way over to Alf, and the two slug it out briefly before Brock shoves Alf into the post!

 

COACH

And Alf posted out there, and looking a long way up at those nunchucks!

 

Brock climbs into the ring, and up to the top rope, reaching for the chucks as Alf climbs up onto the apron. Alf grabs Brock's foot out from under him, crotching him in the corner!

 

COLE

But still, Alf able to come back and thwart another attempt at the chucks by Brock!

 

Alf springboards to the top rope, then catches Brock and takes him to the mat with a REVERSE HURRICANRANA~!

 

COACH

WHOA!

 

COLE

A reverse hurricanrana, and Brock is down and looks to be out! Now could be Alf's best chance at getting the weapon!

 

Alf slowly gets to his feet, and climbs up the ropes. Alf gets to the top, and after batting at it a few times, is able to GRAB THE NUNCHUCKS!

 

CABOOSE

Alf's got 'em!

 

Alf stops to raise them in the air, and Brock takes him off the top with a back suplex and bridge!

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!!! Alf kicks out!

 

COLE

Alf stopped to celebrate, and it almost cost him, as we've hit 50 minutes in this match! Ten minutes to go!

 

Alf is groggy, but as Brock comes at him, he's able to raise up and deliver a shot to the ribs with the nunchucks! Alf then hops up and delivers a shot to the back! Alf then kneels down, putting the nunchucks between the feet of Brock, then stands to his feet, looking out to the crowd with a big smile on his face.

 

COACH

Don't you do it, Alf!

 

Alf quickly brings the nunchucks up, crotching Brock with them! Brock holds himself, but ducks a superkick and knocks Alf to the mat with a big boot! Alf loses the nunchucks upon hitting the mat.

 

COACH

Oh yeah! Get it, Brock!

 

Brock does get it, then waits on Alf to get up. Brock takes a big swing, but Alf ducks and catches him with a small package!

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!!! Brock gets out!

 

COLE

Wow, so close to being down to a one-fall advantage right there!

 

Brock gets up and levels Alf right in the shoulder with the nunchucks, then once in the lower back! Alf drops to his knees, and Brock wraps the nunchucks around his throat and begins choking him! Brock breaks at the four-count, then shoves Alf to the mat by his face. Brock covers...

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Brock then grabs Alf by the face, talking trash, before Alf bites his hand!

 

COACH

Look at that!

 

COLE

And that's the same hand that was burned minutes ago in the last fall!

 

The nunchucks are loose again, and Alf grabs them! He wraps it around Brock's knee, tripping him to the mat, then wraps it around his ankles and flips over into a jackknife pin!

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

COACH

I can't believe this.

 

COLE

It's down to one fall!

 

BUFFER

The winner of the seventh fall...ALFDOGG!!!!!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Score

Brock: 4

Alf: 3

Time remaining: 8:40

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Knight punches the leather sofa he is sitting in as Alf sits up and attempts to catch his breath.

 

COLE

Tony, take it!

 

The camera goes backstage, as it's now Rick Heyross who's pacing the floor.

 

TONY

Thank you, Michael...well, Reject...it's down to one fall for Alf. Give 'er a spin.

 

Reject takes a deep breath, and spins the wheel. A huge smile comes across his face, as the wheel lands.

 

TONY

It's a BARBED-WIRE BULLROPE match! Another one that should be pretty self-exlpanatory...it's a classic bullrope match, but with one twist...the bullrope will be wrapped in barbed wire! Drag your man to all four corners to win the match, and as you'll see, there are lights in the corners which will light up when the buckles are touched! Back out to Sofa Central!

 

(51:50)

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The referee attaches the rope to both wrestlers, then calls for the bell.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Brock immediately pounces on Alf!

 

COLE

And here we go! And this could very well be the last fall of this match!

 

COACH

Definitely, Alf has to drag the 300-pound Brock Ausstin all the way around the ring just to *tie* the score in less than 8 minutes!

 

COLE

And the blood flowing from both men after 50+ minutes of action, one can only imagine the sight once the final bell sounds after this particular stipulation!

 

Brock goes for an elbowdrop, but Alf rolls out of the way! Alf gets up, slugging away at Brock, then whips him into the ropes, and elbows him down! Alf follows with a suplex!

 

CABOOSE

And it looks early on like a tie score just might happen!

 

Brock, however, lands a stiff European uppercut when Alf grabs him off the mat, then takes the rope and swings it across the back of Alf, who cringes in pain!

 

COLE

WOW, barbed wire rope across the back!

 

Brock whips Alf once again, then a third time, then waits for Alf to get up and whips him once across the chest!

 

COACH

And Brock whipping him like a dog right now!

 

Brock chokes Alf with the rope, then releases and gives him an Irish whip, but puts his head down, and Alf catches him with a DDT! Brock rolls to the outside, and Alf rolls to another side of the floor, then pulls Brock by the rope right into the post!

 

COLE

Clever move by Alf, able to post Brock via the bullrope!

 

Alf then chokes Brock with the rope on the floor, but Brock grabs him by the hair and pulls him over. Brock then grabs a chair, and slams it across Alf's back!

 

COLE

Chair to the back of Alf, and Brock in control once again!

 

Brock grabs Alf and tosses him back into the ring. Brock delivers a back suplex to Alf, then starts the drag.

 

COLE

And here we go!

 

Brock pulls Alf over, and slaps one corner!

 

CABOOSE

There's one light!

 

Brock walks over and slaps a second corner!

 

COACH

Halfway!

 

Brock goes for a third corner, but instead feels barbed wire across the back!

 

COLE

And now it's Brock being whipped!

 

Alf superkicks Brock to the mat, and the lights are turned off. Alf grabs the rope, and begins whipping Brock with it! Alf calls out to the crowd, which gives him support. Alf then goes for the corners against Brock, slapping the first buckle!

 

COLE

Alf is three corners away from evening the score!

 

Alf pulls at Brock, slapping a second corner! Alf is inches away from a third corner, when Brock starts pulling back!

 

COACH

We got a tug-of-war going here!

 

Brock pulls Alf in far enough to kick at him until he falls to the mat. Brock then gets up and starts choking Alf with the rope once again, then throws him over the top!

 

CABOOSE

Brock's going to hang Alf here!

 

COLE

FIVE MINUTES LEFT! Alf has five minutes to get out of his predicament and score at least one fall against Brock!

 

The referee steps in to try to get Alf free, and Brock shoves him to the mat, then hops over the top rope to continue his assault. Brock picks up Alf and drops him on the guardrail, then rolls him back into the ring and goes to the corners.

 

CABOOSE

Brock's got one!

 

Brock walks over and touches a second, then Alf lays flat, and Brock unknowingly has the rope under his legs. Brock touches a third corner!

 

COLE

If Brock touches one more corner, he'll all but have this match in the bag!

 

Alf whips the rope, making a wave which smacks Brock between the legs! Brock falls to the mat, as Alf gets up and wraps the rope around his own arm, then waits on Brock to get up before yanking the rope up into his balls!

 

COACH

Oh, man!

 

Brock goes down, and Alf pulls the barbs from his arm, then picks Brock up and drives him down with a piledriver!

 

COLE

Piledriver, and I think Alf's going to try it again!

 

Alf touches the first corner!

 

CABOOSE

One!

 

Alf slowly makes his way over, and touches a second corner!

 

CABOOSE

Two!

 

Alf whips Brock for good measure, and touches a third corner!

 

COLE

THREE! ONE MORE TO GO!

 

Alf is mere inches away from the last corner, as Brock suddenly pulls him in and attempts the F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111

 

COLE

OH MY GOD! This will seal the deal, and bring Brock Ausstin the Heartland title!

 

However, Brock puts Alf down, as Alf is squeezing his hand! Brock pokes Alf in the eye, then favors his hand.

 

COLE

And AGAIN, Alf going to that burned hand of Brock Ausstin!

 

Brock comes up and clotheslines Alf, as Rick Heyross runs out to ringside with a glove!

 

COLE

Where did Rick Heyross come from? And what does he have in his hand?

 

CABOOSE

It looks like one of those iron gauntlets!

 

COACH

Oh come on, it's just to protect his hand!

 

COLE

Under three minutes to go!

 

Brock waits on Alf, then winds up...but Alf ducks, and delivers an overhead belly-to-belly!

 

COLE

And Alf with a suplex to counter!

 

Both men slowly get up, and Alf catches Brock and delivers a T-Bone suplex!

 

CABOOSE

Alf starting to cook here late!

 

COLE

And that gauntlet fell over to the corner, I don't think either man realizes where it is!

 

Alf wraps Brock up and starts to drag him around. Alf touches one corner!

 

CABOOSE

I don't think it's going to matter!

 

Alf drags Brock over and touches a second corner!

 

COLE

Alf's halfway home!

 

Alf touches the third corner, prompting Rick Heyross to jump onto the apron. Alf spots him, and drags him into the ring.

 

COACH

Now why would he do that?

 

COLE

He shouldn't have gotten up on the apron!

 

Alf delivers a suplex to Rick Heyross! He then grabs the rope, as the crowd starts to get loud.

 

CABOOSE

I think Tricky Rick's about to be taken to the woodshed!

 

Alf starts to whip Heyross with the rope, who quickly rolls out! Brock charges Alf, but Alf catches him with a rope clothesline!

 

COLE

We're inside two minutes, and Alf is on fire!

 

Brock gets up, and Alf attempts a hurricanrana! Brock pushes Alf off, and Alf backflips to his feet, but Brock quickly scoops him up and hits the F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111

 

COACH

:lol:

 

COLE

That's it. It's over.

 

Brock gloats, then drags Alf around effortlessly and touches one corner.

 

COLE

There's one!

 

Brock touches a second corner!

 

COACH

Two!

 

Brock touches a third, still without much excess effort.

 

COACH

THREE!

 

Brock raises a finger in the air as he approaches the final corner...but Heyross stops him?

 

COACH

WHAT???

 

COLE

ONE MINUTE LEFT!!!

 

Heyross hands the gauntlet to Brock.

 

COACH

Oh, he wants to put the finishing touches on!

 

Brock picks Alf up, then puts on the gauntlet...but Alf kicks him low!

 

COLE

Oh, maybe not!

 

Alf yanks the gauntlet off Brock's hand, grabs it in both hands, and swings it into Brock's jaw!

 

COLE

Brock is OUT!!!

 

Alf wraps the rope around the ankles of the unconscious Brock, and drags him to the first corner!

 

COLE

There's one! Alf's got THIRTY SECONDS to touch the other three!

 

Alf drags Brock and touches the second!

 

COLE

There's TWO!

 

Alf struggles with Brock, but touches the third!

 

COLE

THERE'S THREE!!! ALF'S GONNA EVEN IT UP!!!

 

Alf moves desperately towards the final buckle, as the crowd counts the match down!

 

TEN!!!

 

 

 

 

NINE!!!

 

 

 

 

EIGHT!!!

 

 

 

 

SEVEN!!!

 

 

 

 

SIX!!!!!

 

 

 

 

FIVE!!!!!

 

 

 

 

FOUR!!!!!

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!!!

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!

 

 

 

 

ONE!!!!!

 

Alf makes one final lunge...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and falls fractions of inches short, as the clock hits 60:00 and the bell rings!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

COLE

HE DIDN'T MAKE IT!!!

 

COACH

YES!!! WE GOT A NEW CHAMPION!!!

 

Alf sits back in the corner with his hands on his head, as Brock is just coming back to consciousness. In his box, Peter Knight leaps to his feet and applauds as the referee retrieves the Heartland belt.

 

BUFFER

The winner of the Iron Man match...and NNNNNNNNEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW OAOAST Heartland Champion... BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOO

 

CK AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

 

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!

 

Punishment hits as Alf continues to sit in the corner.

 

COLE

Folks, we have a new OAOAST Heartland champion, but give both of these men all the credit in the world! These guys went out there for 60 minutes, and they left their blood and sweat all over the Staples Center! And the end result...Brock Ausstin, a singles champion for the first time in his career! If you can't appreciate the effort of these two tremendous superstars, then I honestly don't know how you can call yourself a fan!

 

The camera pans around to show the fans on their feet applauding.

 

CABOOSE

Well, we got about 20,000 strong here who definitely have the right to call themselves fans!

 

The camera then pans over to Sofa Central, where Triple C all sit down after having stood up.

 

COACH

I'm exhausted after just WATCHING that one! I can't imagine what it must be like to be Alfdogg or Brock Ausstin right now!

 

COLE

Let's go right now to Jesse "The Body" Ventura, who I understand is standing by with one Stephen Joseph.

 

COACH

(sighs)

Oh, great.

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COLE

Well, apparently we aren't going to Jesse. What's this?

 

The camera cuts to the backstage area where Josh "J. Math" Matthews is at. He is running towards someone.

 

JOSH "J. MATH" MATTHEWS

PR! PR!

 

Josh is running towards "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican, who is carrying his custom made spinner 24/7 Championship belt over his left shoulder, and is wearing a Puerto Rican flag bandana, sunglasses, an earring on his left ear, a black sweatshirt, blue elbowpads, Puerto Rican flag wristbands, black sweatpants, and his red boots with the Puerto Rican flag airbrushed over them. PRL is annoyed at Josh's appearance. The crowd boos.

 

JOSH

PRL, you have a 24/7 Title Match tonight.

 

"THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN

Yeah. And?

 

MATTHEWS

Well, why aren't you in your wrestling gear?

 

PR

I'll tell you why, J. Math. Two weeks ago, me and The Lightning Crew did a bang up job on Leon Rodez. Such a good job, that he wasn't on HeldDOWN~! last Thursday. Now, far be it from me to make an assumption, but I assumed today that Leon Rodez wouldn't make it in time for our Zero Hour match.

 

(BOO~!)

 

PRL

So, if he wasn't going to show up, why should I bother bringing my gear? I'll just bring my warmup suit, *just in case* that punk Rodez makes it to the Staples Center before the end of the night. That way I could lay the smackdown on his candy ass without getting my Corporate suit dirty! That doesn't sound like a bad idea, now does it?

 

MATTHEWS

Well--

 

PRL

Of course it doesn't you twit! Now...

 

"P.R. SUCKS!

P.R. SUCKS!

P.R. SUCKS!

P.R. SUCKS!"

 

PRL

SHHH! Listen. They're chanting Tha Puerto Rican's name.

 

CROWD

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

"P.R. SUCKS!

P.R. SUCKS!

P.R. SUCKS!

P.R. SUCKS!"

 

PRL

Now, there's apart of me that hopes Leon Rodez shows up tonight. Because I would love, AND THA PUERTO RICAN MEANS LOVE, to kick his candy ass. That two bit jarboni thinks he can talk trash about Tha Puerto Rican, and get away with it? Well, Leon, if that is your real name, you're wrong. DEAD WRONG. Tha Puerto Rican will kick your ass faster than you can say Angle Award Winning Leon Rodez! The fact is, Leon--

 

JOSH

P.R. Hold on. (Josh listens to his earpiece.) I'm just getting word that Leon Rodez IS in the arena tonight.

 

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

JOSH (CONT'D)

It looks like you'll have the 24/7 Title Match after all.

 

THA PUERTO RICAN

Oh? Well, okay then. Leon, the pressure is on you. Not me. You have FIFTEEN MINUTES to beat me. And quite frankly, I'm not sure you'll be able to do it. This is going to be the longest, most painful, most excruciating 15 minutes of your entire life. You are going to hate every minute, every second of this match, Leon. While as I, The Corporate Champ, will love it! So, Leon. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. 15 Minutes. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. That's all you'll have. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. 15 Minutes. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Use it wisely. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~! Now exscue, I have to go get ready for my match. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

 

Tha Puerto Rican opens a door and leaves through it, slamming the door on Josh Matthews. The crowd boos.

 

(Cut to Triple C)

 

COLE

15 minutes. That's all the time Leon Rodez will have to win the 24/7 Title tonight at Zero Hour. Can he do it? Can he win the 24/7 Title in a match this short?

 

CABOOSE

I don't think so Michael. Leon is going to be fighting not just PRL, but the clock. He's going to crack under all that pressure, I just know he is! He's not going to do it.

 

COLE

Well, never count Leon Rodez out. He's a former X-Division Champion, and a former World Tag Team Champion. And let's not forget he is also an Angle Award Winner. Will he add the 24/7 Championship to his impressive résumé tonight at Zero Hour?

 

CABOOSE

Don't bet on it.

 

COLE

I won't. Coach might.

 

COACH

No, I've got $500 on PRL.

 

COLE

I can't believe you're betting on Zero Hour.

 

COACH

Why not? A playa's gotta make money, yo.

 

COLE

But it's a wrestling event.

 

COACH

So?

 

COLE

A PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING event.

 

COACH

...and?

 

CABOOSE

Let's move on before our brains melt or something similar to that happens, okay? Okay.

Edited by Tony149

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“VIVAAAAAAAAAA LAS VEGAS!”

 

CUE: “Bodies” by Sex Pistols

 

-The fans erupt and rise to their feet as the incredibly offensive song blares over the PA system.

 

BUFFER

“THE NEXT MATCH!! Is scheduled for one fall! and is a BARBED WIRE CAGE MATCH!~ Entering first...from LAS VEGAS, NEVADA...THE LIVING LEGEND OF LAS VEGAS....AUSTIN! RRRRRRRAGDOLLLL! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKER!!”

 

-The fans start jumping and screaming as the curtain opens, revealing a shirtless Austin Baker. He carries a steel chair in his right hand and a chain in his left. He walks alone tonight, a look of complete determination and anger plastered on his face. The camera cuts to the barbed wire cage looming over the ring.

 

COLE

There it is, Coach...one of the most hellacious structures built by the OAOAST design team...

 

COACH

This is no ORDINARY barbed wire cage, if there is such a thing as an ordinary barbed wire cage...no, THIS one? The cage ITSELF is MADE out of three layers of barbed wire! RAGDOLL requested for RAZOR WIRE on the inside layer, but that request was denied...

 

COLE

Thank god...I don’t think I could have taken that...

 

-Ragdoll slowly slides into the ring and walks to the opposite side, glaring at everybody and everything.

 

 

 

 

 

CUE: “Everyone is Someone In LA” by Felix Da Housecat

 

-The fans erupt in boos...AND cheers for their hometown “hero”. Ken slowly struts out, a wide grin plastered on his face. He, too, is shirtless, revealing his brand new “UPSTART” tattoo on his stomach. He, too, walks out alone. And he, too, carries weapons: a Kendo Stick and a crowbar.

 

COLE

THESE guys are going to MURDER each other tonight!

 

BUFFER

“AND HIS OPPONENT! From HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA!!”

 

-Cheap pop.

 

BUFFER

“He is the Hell Rose from Melrose!! KEN!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAKER!!!”

-The cheers from the cheap pop have subsided and have turned into violent boos. Ragdoll stands in the ring, his eyes never leaving Ken. Ken slowly slides into the ring, smirking at his little brother, right before he hops onto the nearest turnbuckle and poses.

 

COLE

Ken Baker, Coach...he looks confident tonight, to say the least.

 

COACH

Knowing Ken, he has some sort of plan up his sleeve.

 

-The fans start cheering as Ken hops off the turnbuckle. The cage slowly starts to descend as Ragdoll throws his chair and chain into the middle of ring, his eyes never leaving Ken’s. Ken, as well, throws his Kendo Stick and crowbar into the middle of the ring. Ken is smiling wide, shaking his head. The cage is hovering just above the turnbuckles now...

 

DING DING DING!!

 

COLE

HERE WE GO!!

 

-Just as the bell rings, Ken rushes....backward?! He quickly drops down and slides RIGHT UNDERNEATH THE CAGE!! Ken is outside of the ring as the cage stops it’s descent!! The fans start booing as Ken laughs at Ragdoll, who is LIVID!!

 

COLE

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?

 

COACH

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

 

-The fans are near riot as Ken starts walking backwards up the ramp, tapping his temple. He is now being belted with trash as he grins wide, just as Josie comes out from behind the curtain...dragging a bound and gagged Jasmine out with her.

 

COLE

I-IS THAT JASMINE?!

 

-The trash is still flying, the boos and curses are still echoing and being shouted as Ken turns to his sister-in-law and wife. Josie hands him a microphone as Ragdoll looks for a way out of the ring and cage.

 

KEN

“...Hey! Austin!! Remember how last week, I kicked ‘Jazz’ in the back of her head?”

 

-Ragdoll starts shaking in anger, tears forming in his eyes.

 

KEN

“...Why don’t I hit her with my OTHER finisher?!”

 

-The boos are fucking LOUD! Ragdoll starts screaming as he clutches the harsh barbed wire cage with his bare hands.

 

COLE

No...he’s not...a Hellrose?!

-Ken smirks as he takes one final look at Ragdoll...before grabbing Jasmine by the hair!! Ken quickly positions her...LEAPS UP....

 

CRAAAASH!~!~!

 

Jasmine lies motionless on the ramp as the security around the stage try to control the chaos. Ken stands quickly and stares at Ragdoll, the evil smile glued to his face. Ragdoll is now openly crying as he drops to his knees, still clutching the cage, his hands dripping buckets of blood from his death grip. Ken and Josie take one last look at the carnage they caused before walking to the back, arms around each other.

 

COLE

Ken Baker is the MOST EVIL MAN I HAVE EVER SEEN! FIRST HE ROBS THE FANS OF ONE OF THE MOST ANTICIPATED MATCHES IN THE PAST TWO YEARS, AND NOW HE RUINS HIS BROTHER - HIS FLESH AND BLOOD’S LIFE!!

 

COACH

STOP SCREAMING! Ken Baker isn’t doing any of this for the fans! He’s doing it for HIMSELF and to teach his selfish brother a lesson!

 

-The screen fades to black as paramedics rush to the aide of Jasmine, Ken’s grief and tear stricken face right behind them on the AngleTron.

 

Fade in to an empty arena, shots of the empty seats are spliced with the image of a single spotlight iluminating an empty ring. The ghostly echo of cheering is heard as the camera pans around the ring as voices and images from the past appear almost as a dream.

 

AngleMania I

 

JR: Good Evening, BAH GAWD, and Welcome to AngleMania (echo)...Mania....Mania.....

 

HHH refuses to tap saying he'll never job to AS!

 

Chris Jericho appears through the crowd and tells the Time Keeper to ring the bell!

 

DINGDINGDING!

 

FINK

The winner of the Match and

NEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW One & Only AngleSault Thread

HeavyWeight Champion of the World,

AngleSault!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

 

AngleMania II

 

POP DROP! POP DROP! ZACK MALIBU COVERS!

 

1...

 

2...

 

3!

 

* DING DING DING *

 

The crowd ERUPTS. People jump to their feet. Zack Malibu, completely spent, rolls off of Anglesault and onto his back. A shot of Zack holding the belt aloft is added in

 

JR

HE DID IT, JESS! BAH GAWD, WE HAVE A NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION....ION....ION.

 

AngleMania III

 

...SCHOOL'S OUT ON CALVIN STOPS HIM DEAD IN HIS TRACKS~!

 

Malibu collapses across Calvin's body, not even able to hook a leg, as this cover is purely out of desperation! Earl Hebner slaps the canvas, as the crowd counts along...

 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!

 

TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

 

COLE

YES~! HE DID IT~! HE DID IT~!

 

Another shot of Zack with the belt is added as more cheering is heard.

 

AngleMania IV

 

Axel jumps up -- AND SPIKES THE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION INTO THE MAT WITH A SECOND CONSECUTIVE AXEL SLAM!

 

The count is made.

 

COLE

HE DID IT! HE DID IT! AXEL HAS DID IT!

 

COACH

WE HAVE A NEW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! AND HIS NAME IS AXEL!

 

Now.....an event five years in the making.......

 

Cut to a montage of the current OAOAST stars in action, including Leon Rodez, Alfdogg, Zack Malibu, Chicks Over Dicks, GPX, Tha Puerto Rican and more. The footage speeds up, the images becoming more and more of a blur until we quickly cut back to the empty arena, where now one man stands in the middle of the ring, though his identity is obscured. He looks around the arena as the camera gets in closer. He turns toward it and reveals......

 

 

 

Anglesault, smiling like a proud papa. The image fades out, replaced by.....

 

am52hx.gif

 

Coming April 2nd

Trump Taj Mahal, Atlantic City, New Jersey

Edited by Tony149

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A deep slow voiced man saids,

 

“LIGHTNING CREW!”

 

COLE

Oh, it must be time for Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua to have their match!

 

The crowd starts booing loudly, knowing that they must see The Lightning Crew come out again. The opening to “No Chance In Hell” plays. Smoke fills the entryway. Lights flicker on and off in the entrance. After a few seconds, the crescendo hits, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, and “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds starts playing while The Lightning Crew entrance video plays on the Jumbotron.

 

*No Chance (No chance)

That’s what ya got (Ha, ha. Yeah.)

 

We’re up against

no machine too strong (Too strong)

 

Pussy politicians buying souls for us

are…PUPPETS! (Puppets!)*

 

A few seconds past, and through the smoke and curtains comes out Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua. The crowd boos loudly. Cuban Wall looks at the crowd, as does Mr. Boricua. Wall pumps his right fist in the air, drawing more boos. Mr. Boricua sneers and grunts at the crowd. He cracks his knuckles. Cuban Wall tells Mr. Boricua to follow him to the ring. Boricua nods, and the two big men of The Lightning Crew walk down the entrance ramp to the tune of “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds. Wall’s eyes are solely focused on the ring with a serious look on his face.

 

*But will find their place

in line (In line)

 

But tie a string around your finger now boy cuz

Cuz, it’s just a matter OF TIME!

 

Cuz you’ve got…NO CHANCE! (You’ve got no chance)

 

NO CHANCE IN HELL!

 

You’ve got…NO CHANCE! (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!)

 

NO CHANCE IN HELL!

 

You’ve got…NO CHANCE! (Got no chance)

 

NO CHANCE IN HELL!

 

You’ve got…NO CHANCE! (Chance!)

 

NO CHANCE IN HELL!!!*

 

*DING DING DING*

 

MICHAEL BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a tag team match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, coming to the ring at this time. At a total combined weight of 585 lbs. Representing The Lightning Crew. The team of CUBAN WALL AND MISTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR BORICUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

 

*Come on

Come on

Come and get it! (Come and get it!)

Come on!

 

Come on

Come on

Come and get it (Come and get it!)

Come on! (Come on!)*

 

COLE

Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly are in for the fight of their life tonight at Zero Hour as they take on the two biggest members of The Lightning Crew, Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua! Heat and Fly have defeated Wall and Boricua in singles matches in the past, but the question is, can they defeat both men in the same match?

 

CABOOSE

Oh, I don’t know about that, Michael Cole. Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall weigh 585 pounds COMBINED. I mean, both men are big on their own, but together? My God. This is a big mismatch!

 

Cuban Wall shadowboxes a bit, while Mr. Boricua grunts and snorts as he heads to the ring.

 

COLE

This IS a mismatch. No one is going to deny that. But never count out Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly. They both have pulled off upsets before, why 2 weeks ago on HeldDOWN~!, Spanish Fly defeated Mr. Boricua in a Steel Cage Match!

 

CABOOSE

Meh, it’s okay. Mr. Boricua went to Hershey Park the next day, and was all better. He’ll get Fly and Heat tonight!

 

Cuban Wall enters the ring over the top rope. Mr. Boricua yells at the fans, and then climbs over the top rope to enter the ring. Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua look at the crowd in disgust. They both stand in the middle of the ring. Two spotlights shine on them, and then Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall do The Lightning Crew Salute! The crowd boos even louder than before.

 

CABOOSE

Look at those two. They’re like the Greek god Zeus multiplied by two! They’re like the reincarnation of Andre The Giant multiplied by two! Mr. Boricua, the first member of The Lightning Crew, and Cuban Wall, the Muscle for The Lightning Crew are going to take on the two Judasssss, those two Benedict Arnolds, Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly, in a tag team match!

 

Cuban Wall jaws with the fans. Mr. Boricua also jaws with the fans. Cuban Wall heads to a second turnbuckle and raises his hands in the air. Mr. Boricua heads to another second turnbuckle and poses on it. Both men draw boos. Boricua yells at the crowd. Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua get off the second turnbuckles. CW shadowboxes some more. He takes off his sunglasses, gold chain, and earring on his right ear and hands them over to a ringside attendant. Mr. Boricua takes off his sunglasses and hands them over to the ringside attendant. He then exits the ring to yell at the fans.

 

COLE

Earlier tonight Vitamin X defeated John “Rock Hard” Brickston with the help of The Lightning Crew. Later tonight, Tha Puerto Rican will defend the 24/7 Title against Leon Rodez with a 15-minute time limit. But right now, we are going to see Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua take on Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly!

 

COACH

This is going to be a great night for The Lightning Crew! Vitamin X already came out victorious, Wall and Boricua will come out victorious, and of course, my man PRL will come out victorious to make it 3-0 for The Lightning Crew!

 

COLE

Coach, where have you been?

 

COACH

I was in the bathroom.

 

COLE

Doing what exactly?

 

CABOOSE

I don’t want to know! I don’t!

 

Cuban Wall shadowboxes in the ring while Mr. Boricua is still yelling at the fans outside the ring. “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds dies down. Wall looks to the entrance.

 

COACH

I was doing…

 

CABOOSE

I TOLD YOU I DON’T WANNA KNOW!

 

A piano plays a melody, causing the crowd to cheer. The lights go down in the arena, turning back on in tune with the melody.

 

DMX

COME ON!

 

*KA-BOOM~!*

 

Pyro explodes, leaving behind fire that burns on both sides of the entrance stage. “Gasolina (Remix)” by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull starts playing. The crowd cheers as Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly come out through the curtains. Heat and Fly look at Boricua and Wall, and then high five each other. Heat and Fly raise their hands to acknowledge the fans and then walk down the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans along the way. Fly is wearing a black hoodie that has SPANISH FLY written on it in white “gangsta style” font and a platinum crucifix around his neck.

 

BUFFER

And their opponents. Coming to the ring at this time. At a total combined weight of 355 lbs. The team of SPANISH FLY AND COLOMBIANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTT!!!

 

Heat and Spanish Fly are still slapping hands with the fans while “Gasolina (Remix)” is still playing.

 

CABOOSE

Geez, a total combined weight of 355 lbs? Mr. Boricua weighs 300 pounds ON HIS OWN. You mean both Spanish Fly and Colombian Heat weigh 355 lbs COMBINED?

 

COLE

Nobody said this wouldn’t be easy for Heat and Fly. They both know these guys, having been apart of The Lightning Crew AND having fought them in the past. Vitamin X already beat John Brickston earlier, so the pressure is on Heat and Fly to score one for their anti-Lightning Crew team!

 

Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly slide into the ring. Heat gets on the second rope and does the “WESTSIIIIIIIDE” hand signal, receiving cheers. Fly gets on a second turnbuckle, crossing himself, before raising his hands in the air to cheers. Colombian Heat gets off the second rope and heads to another second turnbuckle to throw up the “W” hand signal again, receiving more cheers. Spanish Fly gets off the second turnbuckle he was on, and gets on another second turnbuckle, crossing himself, and then raising his hands in the air to receive another pop from the crowd. Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua are on the outside.

 

CABOOSE

Look at all this fan pandering. I mean, ill! It’s making me nauseous!

 

COLE

These fans love Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly!

 

COACH

Double ill!

 

Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly get off the second turnbuckles. They pound fists. Heat calls for a microphone.

 

COLE

We are about to see another match in the never-ending war between The Lightning Crew and the FORMER members of The Lightning Crew, who have found a new leader in Leon Rodez!

 

COACH

But Leon Rodez was never a member of The Lightning Crew.

 

COLE

Still, he has become something of a leader for them after since they helped him fend off The Lightning Crew 4 weeks ago on HeldDOWN~!.

 

COACH

Well, he maybe their leader, but that doesn’t mean he won’t become the next victim of the Corporate Nightmare later tonight when Tha Puerto Rican kicks his ass for 15 minutes!

 

CABOOSE

HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

 

Colombian Heat gets a microphone.

 

COLOMBIAN HEAT

Yo, yo, cut the music!

 

“Gasolina (Remix)” by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil’ Jon and Pitbull dies down. The crowd cheers. Heat smiles at the crowd.

 

HEAT

Okay. L.A., La-La Land, if all of y’all are ready to see me and my homie Spanish Fly make these two Lightning Crew retards feel the Heat—

 

CABOOSE

RETARDS!?

 

HEAT

Then…make…some…motherfreaking noise UP IN THIS---

 

“BIAAAAAAAAAAAAATCHHHHHHHH~!”

 

Spanish Fly joins the crowd in making some noise up in this biatch.

 

“HEAT! HEAT! HEAT! HEAT!”

 

Colombian Heat puts the microphone away. He talks strageaty with Spanish Fly in one corner, while Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall talk strageaty in the other. The crowd is hot, waiting for the match to start.

 

CABOOSE

Where does he get off calling Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua retards? If anyone’s a retard it’s him!

 

COLE

Uh, I think we’re using retard a little bit too much here, so let’s tone down on it, okay?

 

CABOOSE

Colombian Heat is a retard.

 

COLE

ENOUGH!

 

Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua glare evilly at Heat and Fly. Referee Mickey Jay pats down Wall, but doesn’t do Boricua because Boricua yells at him. So Mickey Jay pats down Heat and Spanish Fly. He then calls for the bell.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

COLOMBIAN HEAT AND SPANISH FLY vs. CUBAN WALL AND MR. BORICUA

Colombian Heat takes off his brand new Colombian Heat green soccer jersey and gives it to a ring attendant. Spanish Fly removes his black SPANISH FLY hoodie and platinum crucifix and also gives them to a ringside attendant. Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua stare at Heat and Fly.

 

COLE

And here we go. It’s time for another LC/Anti-LC match. The 6’0” Colombian Heat and the 4’11” Spanish Fly will face the 6’7” Cuban Wall and the 6’9” Mr. Boricua.

 

Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly decide who goes first. Fly decides to go first. He high fives Heat. Cuban Wall tells Mr. Boricua to go first. The crowd groans.

 

COLE

We’re going to start things off with a rematch. 2 weeks ago, Spanish Fly defeated Mr. Boricua in a Steel Cage Match. Now, Mr. Boricua has his chance for revenge.

 

Cuban Wall yells at Mr. Boricua to pump him up. Boricua yells at Fly and Heat. Spanish Fly is hesitant at first, but he then circles Mr. Boricua. Mr. Boricua lunges after Spanish Fly. Fly ducks, and punches Mr. Boricua! He punches Mr. B several times, but the punches do not faze him. Mr. Boricua blocks a punch, and headbutts Spanish Fly!

 

COLE

Mr. Boricua using his massive head as a weapon!

 

Mr. Boricua grabs Spanish Fly and headbutts him again. He then does it for a third time! Fly feels the effects of the headbutts big time! Boricua Irish whips Spanish Fly into the ropes. He goes for something, but Spanish Fly slides in between his legs and gets up behind Boricua! Fly punches Boricua in the face several times! Boricua punches Fly in the face! The two men engage in a slugfest, going back and forth! Suddenly, the crowd starts booing, and booing LOUDLY I might add, as a certain Financial Consultant of The Lightning Crew is walking down the entrance ramp.

 

COLE

Vitamin X? What the hell is Vitamin X doing out here?

 

CABOOSE

Hey, he’s come to watch his buddies beat Colombian Heat!

 

Vitamin X is still in his wrestling attire, holding a towel around his neck, and drinking from a water bottle. He is still catching his breath, even though his match ended an hour ago.

 

COLE

I’m sure Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly aren’t pleased that he’s out here!

 

CABOOSE

Yeah, but what are they gonna do?

 

Meanwhile, in the ring, Mr. Boricua has taken control of Spanish Fly. He punches Fly down repeatedly, in between fits of yelling and screaming. Vitamin X walks over to Sofa Central, where he calls for a headset.

 

CABOOSE

Hey, Vitamin X is joining us on commentary! What a pleasant surprise!

 

Vitamin X sits next to Michael Cole. He puts his water bottle down on the announcer’s table, wipes his forehead with his towel, and then puts on his headset.

 

VITAMIN X

What’s up CAB-O?

 

CABOOSE

Nothing much. Just commentating this pay-per-view.

 

VX

All right. Well the commentary is about to get better, because The X-Man, the Official Announcer for The Lightning Crew, is going to call this match with you guys! BOO-YAH~!

 

COLE

X, this wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that Colombian Heat is in this match, would it?

 

VX

Michael, my feelings about Colombian Hack will have no impact on my announcing.

 

COLE

Heat. His name is Colombian Heat.

 

VX

That’s what I said. Colombian Hack.

 

COLE

But you just said—

 

VX

I KNOW what I said, Michael Cole! All right! Let’s get this party started! BOO-YAH~!

 

Colombian Heat sees that Vitamin X is at Sofa Central. He sneers at him. Meanwhile, Mr. Boricua has taken Spanish Fly and has thrown him into a neutral corner. Mr. Boricua nails the small luchador with punches to the head (or mask).

 

COLE

Mr. Boricua is in control of this contest right now.

 

VITAMIN X

Just like I was in control of John Brickston earlier!

 

COLE (ignoring Vitamin X)

Like I was saying, Mr. Boricua is dominating Spanish Fly.

 

Mr. Boricua forearms Fly in the face. He does it a few more times. Mr. Boricua goes for another forearm, but Spanish Fly ducks the forearm, and runs into his corner to tag in Colombian Heat! The crowd cheers.

 

VITAMIN X

Okay! The piece of lower class filth is in the match! Here we go! This should be good!

 

Colombian Heat eggs the big man on. Mr. Boricua lunges after Heat, but Heat gets out of the way. Heat punches Mr. Boricua in the face. He does it a second time! And a third time! A fourth! A fifth! Heat punches Mr. B in the stomach several times, and then whips him into the ropes. Heat follows that up with a leg lariat! Mr. Boricua doesn’t fall!

 

VX

It’s going to take a lot more than that to take down Mr. Boricua you hack!

 

Colombian Heat bounces off the ropes again. He hits Boricua with another leg lariat! Mr. Boricua stumbles, but doesn’t fall.

 

COLE

Heat is having a hard time taking down Mr. Boricua.

 

VITAMIN X

That’s because he’s no match for him, Michael Cole. BOO-YAH~!

 

CH punches Mr. Boricua and sends him to a neutral corner. Colombian Heat unleashes a combination of punches and chops on Mr. Boricua.

 

*CHOP!*

 

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

*CHOP!*

 

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

*CHOP!*

 

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

*CHOP!*

 

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

Heat plays to the crowd, pumping them up. He grabs Boricua’s right arm, and goes to whip him into the opposite corner. However, Boricua won’t budge. Heat tries again. Mr. Boricua still won’t budge. Then, Mr. Boricua punches Heat in the face, and throws him into the turnbuckle!

 

VX

Did you guys see that? You just saw the power of Mr. Boricua! He took Colombian Heat and threw him into the turnbuckle like the piece of lower class filth that he is! HA! HA! HA!

 

Mr. B punches Colombian Heat down in the corner. This causes the crowd to start chanting, “LET’S GO HEAT! LET’S GO HEAT! LET’S GO HEAT! LET’S GO HEAT!” Heat becomes dazed by the punches. Mr. Boricua yells at the crowd, and then runs towards Heat, giving him a MASSIVE clothesline that causes his feet to leave the mat!

 

VITAMIN X

AWW YEAH! Can I get a boo-yah on that one?

 

COACH

BOO-YAH~!

 

CABOOSE

Yeah. Boo-yes.

 

Mr. Boricua grunts, snorts, cracks his knuckles, and yells at the crowd. He tags in Cuban Wall. The crowd boos loudly.

 

VX

Okay. Okay. NOW things get interesting! The Brawn of Brains & Brawn. It’s Cuban Wall! HA! HA! HA! And he’s in the ring with Colombian HACK! HA! HA! HA!

 

COLE

Cuban Wall lost to Colombian Heat in the 1st Ever Latino Thug Street Fight back in December. I’m sure Cuban Wall hasn’t forgotten about that.

 

VITAMIN X

He hasn’t. Cuban Wall, like an elephant, never forgets.

 

Cuban Wall flicks his wrists, and smiles evilly. Colombian Heat rests on the turnbuckle. Cuban Wall grabs him, but Colombian Heat elbows him in the face! Heat is now on offense, forearming Cuban Wall in the face!

 

VX

The hell? Why is this happening? Stop him, Wall! STOP HIM!

 

Colombian Heat punches Cuban Wall in the face repeatedly. Heat whips Wall into a turnbuckle. Heat is right back on the attack, unleashing a combination of punches and chops on Cuban Wall.

 

COLE

Well, Colombian Heat HAS beaten Cuban Wall before!

 

VITAMIN X

SHUT UP MICHAEL COLE!

 

Colombian Heat unleashes a flurry of martial arts kicks all over the body of Cuban Wall. Heat finishes this off with a jumping back kick to Cuban Wall’s jaw! Cuban Wall crumbles to the mat, his head resting on the bottom turnbuckle. The crowd comes alive!

 

VX

Oh no. Oh God no.

 

CABOOSE

Ugh. I HATE this move.

 

Heat smiles at the crowd. Spanish Fly tells Heat it’s time for a Broncobuster. Heat heads to the opposite turnbuckle. Cuban Wall is still on the bottom turnbuckle. Heat does the low rider hand gesture.

 

VX

Not the stupid Broncobuster!

 

Just then, Cuban Wall slides underneath the bottom rope and leaves the ring. The crowd boos loudly. Colombian Heat is pissed off. Cuban Wall walks around ringside cursing at Colombian Heat.

 

COLE

Cuban Wall was able to escape before getting hit with the Broncobuster.

 

VITAMIN X

Way to go, Wall! That was a smart thing to do. Maybe you’re not an idiot after all. Maybe you ATLEAST have half a brain! Our team could be called Brains & Half A Brain & Brawn! HA! HA! HA!

 

Cuban Wall overhears this, walks up to the announcer’s table, and punches Vitamin X in the jaw!

 

VX

Ow! I was only joking! Jesus! Can’t you take a joke?

 

COLE

Apparently not.

 

Cuban Wall heads back into the ring. Mr. Boricua slaps him in the back which means a tag was made. Wall is shocked at first, but he lets the dumb Boricua get into the match.

 

VITAMIN X

Hey, how come when I did that, he punched me in the jaw?

 

COLE

Well, would YOU punch Mr. Boricua in the jaw?

 

VITAMIN X

Touché, Michael Cole, Touché.

 

Mr. Boricua yells for some reason. The crowd has quieted down a bit. Mr. Boricua picks up Colombian Heat and punches him in the face. He punches him in the face again, but then Heat scratches Boricua in the eyes, and runs into his corner to tag in Spanish Fly. Fly gets in and immediately punches Mr. Boricua in the face repeatedly.

 

COLE

Spanish Fly is on fire!

 

VITAMIN X

Funny, I’d like to put Spanish Fly on fire too!

 

CABOOSE

Good one, X!

 

VITAMIN X

Thanks, ‘Boose.

 

Spanish Fly whips Mr. Boricua into the ropes. Mr. Boricua reverses, and when Spanish Fly hits the ropes, Cuban Wall knees him in the back! Fly screams out in pain! Mr. Boricua continues the assault by giving Spanish Fly a MASSIVE clothesline causing Fly to do a somersault onto the mat!

 

COLE

Oh my! What a clothesline from Mr. Boricua to Spanish Fly!

 

VITAMIN X

YEAH! WAY TO GO! (Whistles)

 

Vitamin X takes a sip from his water bottle.

 

VITAMIN X

BOO-YAH~!

 

Mr. Boricua yells at Spanish Fly. He stands over Fly laughing evilly. He measures up Fly, and then charges forward, kicking him in the back of the head soccer style!

 

VITAMIN X

GOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! HA! HA! Did you see what I did? I did it like they do in soccer. You know, the Spanish announcers?

 

COLE

I know, X. I know.

 

VX

Why are you in such a bad mood?

 

COLE

Because I have to sit with you.

 

VITAMIN X

Man, screw you. The X-Man is the best announcer in the OAOAST today! In all of professional wrestling, even! You’re just jealous.

 

COLE (sarcastically)

Yeah, X. You’re right. I’m jealous of you.

 

VITAMIN X

Good for you to admit it.

 

Mr. Boricua picks up Spanish Fly, who is having trouble breathing, and whips him into the ropes. Mr. B bounces off the opposite ropes and fires with a flying clothesline! Mr. Boricua yells again. Cuban Wall applauds him, and then asks for a tag. Boricua does tag in Cuban Wall. Wall picks up Spanish Fly and punches him in the face. He does it two more times because he can. Wall places Spanish Fly in between his legs, and then lifts him up, driving him down with a piledriver!

 

COLE

Now a piledriver on Spanish Fly! That must hurt even worst if you’re Fly’s size!

 

VITAMIN X

Which is exactly why Cuban Wall did that move! He wanted to make the midget SCREAM!

 

COACH

Yeah! Make him scream, Wall! Make him scream!

 

VITAMIN X

Shut up Coach.

 

COACH

Okay.

 

Cuban Wall does a legdrop…but Spanish Fly moves out of the way! While Wall grabs his big ass, Spanish Fly finds the energy to head to his corner and tag in Colombian Heat! Heat beats on Wall, who decides to not even bother trying to beat Heat, and just tag in Mr. Boricua. CH and Mr. Boricua get into a slugfest, which is quickly won by Boricua. Boricua knees Heat in the gut, and then nails him with the CLUBBERIN’~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN’~! forearms. Mr. Boricua whips Heat into the ropes. Mr. Boricua goes for a clothesline, Colombian Heat ducks, stops in his tracks, and punches Boricua in the face. He does it again. And again! Colombian Heat DANCES~! And then punches Mr. Boricua for a fourth time! But Mr. Boricua DOESN’T go down to the Shake, Rattle, & Roll!

 

VITAMIN X

That’s like the worst move in the history of wrestling!

 

COLOMBIAN HEAT

Yo~! Homefry!

 

Colombian Heat calls Spanish Fly into the ring. Mr. Boricua is dazed, so Colombian Heat tells him something. Colombian Heat grabs Mr. Boricua in a headlock. He puts Boricua’s left arm over his head, and grabs his black dress pants.

 

VITAMIN X

What’s he doing? Is he thinking of doing what I think he’s thinking of doing? No way. He can’t do it. He just can’t!

 

Spanish Fly puts Mr. Boricua’s right arm over his head, and also grabs his black dress pants.

 

VX

What? They’re going to try and suplex him together? The two of them weigh as much as Mr. Boricua! Come on now! They’re going to fail miserably!

 

Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly look at each other, and then with all their strength and energy…SUPLEX MR. BORICUA ONTO THE MAT!

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!”

 

VITAMIN X

….

 

COLE

Well it looks like they shut you up.

 

VITAMIN X

Shut up Michael Cole. Just shut it.

 

Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly run over to Cuban Wall and punch him, causing him to fall off the ring apron and hit the barricade!

 

COLE

And now Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly have taken Cuban Wall off the ring apron!

 

VITAMIN X

Hey no fair! It takes two of them to do that! Where’s the referee? Why isn’t he doing anything about this?

 

CABOOSE

I know! I was asking the same thing! Where is he?

 

Mr. Boricua is starting to get up. Heat tells him to do another double team move. Heat grabs Mr. Boricua. Spanish Fly also grabs him. Double DDT! Fly motions to Heat, so Colombian Heat bounces off the ropes, does a SHIMMY~!, and then drops a knee onto Mr. Boricua’s face! The crowd cheers.

 

VITAMIN X

UGH! I HATE COLOMBIAN HEAT! I hate him! I really do! He’s a HACK! That’s right! He’s a Colombian HACK! Colombian Hack should be his name!

 

COLE

You better pray he doesn’t hear what you just said.

 

VITAMIN X

If he wants some, he’ll get some! I’ve screwed him once; I’ll GLADLY screw him again!

 

Heat poses for the fans. He goes to pick up Mr. Boricua…

 

 

 

BUT MR. BORICUA GRABS HEAT’S THROAT IN A GOOZLE!

 

COLE

Oh no.

 

VX

OH YES MICHAEL COLE! HERE WE GO! BOO-YAH~! MR. BORICUA IS REALLY GOING TO MAKE COLOMBIAN HACK HURT NOW!

 

Mr. Boricua gets up while holding Colombian Heat by the throat. He yells at Heat, and then throws him into the ropes. Mr. Boricua charges forward, but Colombian Heat ducks, and Mr. Boricua goes FLYING over the top rope!

 

VX

No! No! Boricua you idiot! You fell for the oldest trick in the book!

 

COLE

Mr. Boricua is now on the outside thanks to Colombian Heat!

 

VX

Come on Boricua! Kick that piece of lower class filth’s ass! KICK IT!

 

Mr. Boricua is dazed, breathing hard, and sweating. He wipes the sweat on his brow, using the ring apron to get up. He gets on one knee while Colombian Heat bounces off the ropes, trying for a baseball slide! However, Mr. Boricua moves out of the way, and Colombian Heat baseball slides out of the ring onto the ground! This leads into a slugfest between Colombian Heat and Mr. Boricua. They brawl on the outside.

 

COLE

Things are getting chaotic out here!

 

VITAMIN X

That’s it Boricua! Hit him! Hit him where it hurts! Get that piece of lower class filth! Get that piece of lower class filth! That’s it!

 

Mr. Boricua nails Colombian Heat with punches to the face. He punches him a few more times, until he is dazed.

 

VX

That’s it! You got him, Boricua! You got him right where you want him! Hurt him! HURT HIM!

 

Colombian Heat is dizzy. Mr. Boricua yells at Heat, and then charges, but Heat does a drop toehold on Boricua and he hits the ringpost! The crowd cheers. Vitamin X stands up at the announcer’s table.

 

VITAMIN X

Oh, damn you Colombian Heat! Damn you straight to hell! You’re a punk! You’re a thug! You’re a no good thug! You’re a thug; you’re a piece of lower class filth! And you’re a HACK! You’re a HACK! Do you hear me? You’re Colombian Hack! You no talented, stupid, annoying, Hack! You should---

 

COLOMBIAN HEAT TACKLES VITAMIN X!

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

Colombian Heat beats on Vitamin X! He punches him in the face probably a thousand times. Michael Cole, Jonathon Coachman, and Caboose just stand there and watch. Heat kicks Vitamin X in the stomach while he’s down. Heat takes X’s water bottle and dumps it over his shirt. Heat cusses at VX, and then plays to the cheering crowd! Heat enters the ring. Vitamin X is just getting up. His headset is around his neck.

 

COLE

We’re having technical difficulties here. Please stand by.

 

CABOOSE

X, are you all right?

 

Heat waits for Mr. Boricua to turn around. He goes for a spinning heel kick. HOWEVER, Mr. Boricua catches him and lifts him up, before simply dropping him on his head! The crowd (and Spanish Fly) groans. Boricua yells at Heat, and then at the crowd, who boo. Vitamin X is spitting on his headset.

 

VITAMIN X

Jfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjfjf.

 

Mr. Boricua laughs evilly and tags in Cuban Wall. Wall taunts Colombian Heat. He picks Heat up, and scoops him up in a fallaway slam position. Cuban Wall runs towards a neutral corner, and slams Colombian Heat’s back against it. Wall then runs to the opposite turnbuckle and, once again, slams Colombian Heat’s back against it. Wall then runs to his corner, and slams Colombian Heat’s back against it. Cuban Wall then runs towards Spanish Fly’s corner and slams Heat’s back against it. CW then finishes this off by doing a powerslam on Colombian Heat! Wall covers Heat.

 

COLE

And here we go. Here is the first cover of this match!

 

1…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

KICK OUT!!!

 

COLE

Colombian Heat is still in this match!

 

VITAMIN X

DID YOU JUST SEE WHAT COLOMBIAN HEAT DID TO ME!? HE ATTACKED ME! UNPROVOKED! I HAVE JUST BEEN VIOLATED! COLOMBIAN HEAT ATTACKED ME UNPROVOKED! I AM GOING TO SUE HIS ASS! I AM GOING TO SUE HIM FOR ASSAULT AND BATTERY! THAT’S WHAT I’M GONNA DO!

 

COLE

Hey X, why don’t you settle it in the ring?

 

VX

BECAUSE COLOMBIAN HEAT IS A PIECE OF LOWER CLASS FILTH! THAT’S WHY!

 

Cuban Wall becomes annoyed, but applies a sleeperhold on Heat. He cinches the hold tight, squeezing the air out of Colombian Heat.

 

COLE

Cuban Wall with a sleeper on Colombian Heat! I don’t think we’ve ever seen him do that one before!

 

VITAMIN X

That’s it Wall! Squeeze the air out of Heat! Make him suffer! Choke him out! Make sure he’s not breathing anymore!

 

Spanish Fly claps his hands to get the fans to clap their hands in unison. Referee Mickey Jay checks on Heat, who is becoming tired.

 

VITAMIN X

Yeah! Way to go Wall! That’s how you do it! That’s the ticket!

 

COLE

Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua could be moments away from finishing this match and giving The Lightning Crew another victory tonight at Zero Hour!

 

As the clapping in unison continues, Mickey Jay checks on Heat’s left hand. He raises it. It falls.

 

1!

 

VITAMIN X

Yeah! Here we go! The match is over!

 

Mickey Jay checks on Heat’s left hand again. He raises it a second time. It falls.

 

2!

 

VX

Oh yeah! Keep it coming! Count to three and it’s over!

 

Mickey Jay checks on Heat’s left hand again. He raises it for a third time.

 

It falls—

 

 

NO! It stays up!

 

COLE

Heat has shown signs of life! He’s alive!

 

VX

No! No damnit! No!

 

Colombian Heat starts shaking his fists. Cuban Wall panics as Heat’s eyes open wide.

 

VX

Wall! Do something! Make him stay down! MAKE HIM STAY DOWN!

 

Cuban Wall gets on one knee. Colombian Heat gets to his feet. Heat elbows Wall in the stomach two times. He does it a third time, and this time, Heat escapes the sleeperhold! Heat bounces off the ropes, Wall goes for a clothesline, Heat ducks, jumps up, grabs Wall from behind, and gives him the Gangsta Slam!

 

COLE

Gangsta Slam on Cuban Wall! I don’t believe it!

 

VX

Stop him! Stop him!

 

CH gets to his feet. He bounces off the ropes again, doing the “Where The Hood At?” onto Cuban Wall! Heat, in a sudden burst of energy, gets off Wall and makes the hot tag to Spanish Fly!

 

COLE

Spanish Fly is in the match!

 

Spanish Fly beats on Cuban Wall! Mr. Boricua enters the ring, so Spanish Fly punches him in the face! Fly picks up Wall and whips him into the ropes. Fly does a dropkick, which doesn’t cause Wall to fall, only stumble. Spanish Fly bounces off the ropes again, leaps onto Cuban Wall, and then brings him down with the Rube Goldberg Bulldog! Spanish Fly quickly gets up and punches Mr. Boricua in the face, causing him to fall off the ring apron and onto the floor!

 

COLE

Spanish Fly is a house of fire!

 

VITAMIN X

What are you two waiting for? Get him! Get him!

 

CABOOSE

Yeah. Get him! Get him!

 

VX

Thanks for the backup Caboose.

 

CABOOSE

Anytime X-Man.

 

VX

Boo-yah.

 

Spanish Fly and Colombian Heat plan out something. They hold hands. Colombian Heat does a breakdancing move, and then Spanish Fly follows with his own breakdancing move. The two of them then drop elbows onto Cuban Wall! They then get up and hit a B-boy stance! The crowd cheers!

 

VITAMIN X

Ugh! Them and their stupid breakdancing moves! Their stupid rap music!

 

COLE

Hey X, don’t you come out to a rap song?

 

VX

Shut up Michael Cole you’re not helping!

 

Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly high five each other. But suddenly, Mr. Boricua grabs Spanish Fly by his legs and pulls him out of the ring! Fly hits the barricade! The crowd groans.

 

VX

YEAH! THAT’S IT! HA! HA! HA! HA!

 

Mr. B picks Spanish Fly up. He starts punching him in the face. The punches have a big impact on Spanish Fly, who soon becomes dazed and confused. BUT THEN, he fights back! Spanish Fly lays into Mr. B with lefts and rights. This leads into a slugfest between the two on the outside.

 

COLE

We got yet another wild situation on the outside, this time between Spanish Fly and Mr. Boricua!

 

COACH

Serves him right for beating Mr. Boricua in a Steel Cage 2 weeks ago!

 

VITAMIN X

Yeah! Beat his ass! Beat it!

 

Mr. Boricua and Spanish Fly are still brawling on the outside. Meanwhile, back in the ring, Cuban Wall is still on the mat. Heat picks Cuban Wall up, which isn’t an easy task. Wall is a little groggy, so Heat whips him into a neutral corner. Heat then unleashes a flurry of martial arts kicks all over Cuban Wall’s body. He finishes it off with a jumping back kick to the jaw! This causes Wall to slump down to the mat, with his head resting on the bottom turnbuckle pad. Wall is seeing stars while the crowd cheers.

 

VITAMIN X

Oh no! Oh no!

 

COLE

He’s going to for it! He’s going to go for it again!

 

VX

That bastard! He stole that move from me! I invented it!

 

COLE

What? Oh come on! You got to be kidding me!

 

VX

Yeah I did! I invented it!

 

Colombian Heat heads to the opposite turnbuckle. The crowd’s cheers get louder. Heat does the low rider hand gesture. Heat charges forward…and gives Cuban Wall the Broncobuster to a loud pop!

 

COLE

Broncobuster! Broncobuster on Cuban Wall! Broncobuster on Cuban Wall!

 

VITAMIN X

All right that’s it! I’m not going to have Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua lose to a midget and a piece of lower class filth!

 

Vitamin X puts down his headset. X leaves Sofa Central.

 

COLE

Hey—X—Vitamin X, where are you going? Where—where’s he going?

 

CABOOSE

I think I have an idea Mikey.

 

COACH

His seats all wet.

 

Colombian Heat stops doing the Broncobuster on Cuban Wall. He has a smile on his face as he taunts the big man. The crowd approves of the taunting.

 

*BAM!*

 

Vitamin X does a flying clothesline on Colombian Heat from behind!

 

COLE

Damnit! Vitamin X has struck Colombian Heat!

 

CABOOSE

Did you see that Cole? Did you see that leaping ability? Vitamin X is a jungle cat! He has the ferocity and fearlessness of a jungle cat! And he’s showing it right now!

 

Referee Mickey Jay is busy trying to stop Mr. Boricua and Spanish Fly from brawling, so that allows Vitamin X to get on top of Colombian Heat and punch him repeatedly.

 

“X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *Clap Clap Clapclapclap*

“X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *Clap Clap Clapclapclap*

“X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *Clap Clap Clapclapclap*

“X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *Clap Clap Clapclapclap*

 

CABOOSE

This is the most inappropriate time for that chant to take place! Are you SEEING VX right now? He’s kicking Colombian Heat’s ass!

 

COLE

But he attacked him from behind, so they still have a right to chant it!

 

CABOOSE

No they don’t.

 

COLE

Yes they do.

 

CABOOSE

No they don’t, and if you continue to argue with me I’ll punch you in the jaw just like Wall does to X.

 

Vitamin X stomps on Colombian Heat. He goes to pick him up…but gets nailed in the head with the PELE KICK!

 

COLE

Pele Kick! The Pele Kick! It came out of nowhere!

 

CABOOSE

It always comes out of nowhere! That’s why I hate it! It’s unpredictable!

 

Predictably, Vitamin X falls to the mat. CH is unbelievably pissed off at Vitamin X; partly because of him screwing Heat at Anglepalooza, and partly because Vitamin X is an annoying spazz. Heat picks up the already dazed VX and punches him in the face! He punches him again and again and again!

 

CABOOSE

X! Do you realize you’re getting beaten by a piece of lower class filth?

 

Colombian Heat punches Vitamin X all over the ring. Vitamin X fights back, but is unsuccessful. VX tries to escape by leaving the ring, but CH is still on him, punching him in the face.

 

COLE

Colombian Heat just won’t stop punching Vitamin X! He hasn’t forgotten what Vitamin X did to him at Anglepalooza!

 

CABOOSE

That was a month ago! Why doesn’t he let it go?

 

Vitamin X walks up the entrance ramp, Colombian Heat right behind him, still punching him. The crowd cheers Heat on as he lays into Vitamin X on the entrance stage.

 

COLE

Colombian Heat has forgotten all about the match! He’s too busy beating on Vitamin X! He’s left Spanish Fly all alone!

 

CABOOSE

Oh well. Atleast Spanish Fly has to fight two big guys by himself. HA! HA!

 

Vitamin X exits through the curtains, followed by Colombian Heat. The crowd is hot thanks to the two brawls that were going on, and are chanting, “HEAT! HEAT! HEAT! HEAT!”

 

COLE

Colombian Heat is gone, and so is Vitamin X! That leaves Spanish Fly to go up against Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall!

 

CABOOSE

Oh, this match is gonna end soon. Thank you Heat. Thank you.

 

Mr. Boricua beats on Spanish Fly on the outside. He headbutts Spanish Fly. Mr. Boricua whips Spanish Fly into the ring steps—Spanish Fly reverses—and Mr. Boricua hits the ring steps! Boricua hits the ring steps shoulder first. His impact causes the first ring step to fall off!

 

COLE

I don’t believe it! Spanish Fly just whipped Mr. Boricua into the ring steps!

 

CABOOSE

Oh no! Not this too!

 

COLE

And now Spanish Fly is all alone! He’s in the ring with Cuban Wall! Can he pull the win for his team? Can he do it?

 

The crowd cheers loudly as Spanish Fly punches Cuban Wall just as he’s getting up. He punches him several times, and then bounces off the ropes, giving Cuban Wall a hurricarana bringing him down to the mat again! Spanish Fly picks up Cuban Wall, which is a lot easier since Cuban Wall is getting weaker, and punches him in the face again. Spanish Fly Irish whips Cuban Wall into the ropes, and gives him a drop toehold onto the second rope! The crowd starts cheering, as they know that this could only mean one thing.

 

SPANISH FLY

6-1-9!

 

Cuban Wall’s head rests on the second rope. Spanish Fly bounces off the ropes, runs towards Wall…

 

COLE

Here it comes!

 

…and gives him the 6-1-9!

 

COLE

The 6-1-9! The 6-1-9 connects on Cuban Wall! This could be it! This could be the end!

 

CABOOSE

It’s really going to happen! It’s really going to come true! Spanish Fly is going to beat Cuban Wall! A MIDGET is going to beat Cuban Wall! A freaking MIDGET!

 

COLE

Spanish Fly is now going up! He’s going for the Fly Swatter!

 

Fly climbs the top rope. He waits for Cuban Wall to get up. The crowd is hot, sensing the end is near. Cuban Wall is starting to show signs of life. Spanish Fly eggs him on.

 

CABOOSE

Look out Cuban Wall!

 

COLE

I don’t know how Wall is going to escape this one. Vitamin X is gone. Mr. Boricua is on the outside.

 

COACH

I can’t bear to watch!

 

Cuban Wall sits up. He is shaking the cobwebs out of his head. Spanish Fly is hunched over on the top rope waiting to hit his move.

 

WHEN SPANISH FLY IS GRABBED BY THE THROAT BY MR. BORICUA!

 

COLE

Hey!

 

CABOOSE

Mr. Boricua is okay! Mr. Boricua is a-okay!

 

Mr. Boricua grabs Spanish Fly in a goozle as he enters the ring. The crowd boos loudly. Boricua holds on tight as he lifts Spanish Fly up, grunting and snorting at him. Meanwhile, Cuban Wall is getting to his feet.

 

COLE

Mr. Boricua has cruel intentions right now!

 

COACH

I certainly wouldn’t want to be in Spanish Fly’s shoes! I never want to be in his shoes anyway, but still!

 

Mr. Boricua prepares to chokeslam Spanish Fly. He looks at Cuban Wall, who is almost on his feet, and then CHOKESLAMS SPANISH FLY OFF THE TOP ROPE AND ONTO THE MAT!

 

COACH

YO~!

 

COLE

Oh my! The impact! Mr. Boricua could have broken every bone in Spanish Fly’s body with hat move!

 

CABOOSE

Yes! Yes! Way to go Boricua! Way to go! You get a cookie. A BIG cookie at that!

 

Spanish Fly lies on the mat shaking like he’s having a seizure. Cuban Wall gets up and sees what Mr. Boricua just did and applauds him. Mr. Boricua smiles like an idiot. The crowd boos.

 

MR. BORICUA

Now. You. Finish. Job.

 

Cuban Wall now remembers that he and Spanish Fly are the legal men. So, Cuban Wall bounces off the ropes, jumps up, and comes down with The Lightning Crew Splash!

 

COLE

Lightning Crew Splash! 285 pounds of Cuban Wall fell onto Spanish Fly!

 

CABOOSE

Excellent.

 

Cuban Wall covers Spanish Fly. He hooks Fly’s left leg. Referee Mickey Jay counts.

 

1…

 

 

 

 

2…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

*DING DING DING* (16:49)

 

COLE

Awww! And The Lightning Crew wins another one at Zero Hour!

 

CABOOSE

HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

 

“No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds starts playing. Cuban Wall gets up and kicks Spanish Fly in the face. He smiles evilly.

 

BUFFER

Here are you winners…CUBAN WALL AND MISTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR BORIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

 

Cuban Wall congratulates Mr. Boricua on chokeslamming Spanish Fly off the top rope. Mickey Jay raises Wall and Boricua’s hands in victory. The crowd boos loudly. Spanish Fly is still lying on the mat in pain.

 

COLE

Well, it took some luck and some cheating, but Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall were able to get the win tonight at Zero Hour!

 

CABOOSE

Now come on! Even if Colombian Heat never left, Wall and Boricua would still win. They were two big men going up against two small fries! Even a moron could tell you that Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall would win, and luckily for us, we have a moron right here in Coach.

 

COACH

Yeah. We---hey wait!

 

Mr. Boricua grunts, snorts, cracks his knuckles, and yells at the crowd. Cuban Wall holds his back in pain. He takes a deep breath, and then smiles evilly. He chats with Mr. Boricua. The two members of The Lightning Crew leave the ring slowly.

 

COLE

Spanish Fly tried. He tried all he could. But in the end, he was no match for both Mr. Boricua AND Cuban Wall.

 

The OAOAST Zero Hour 2006 logo flashes across the screen. Footage of the ending to the match is shown.

 

COACH

Well, you got to remember. He IS 4’11”. Mr. Boricua is 6’9”. And Cuban Wall is 6’7”. If you doubted that Mr. B and Cuban Wall weren’t the favorites, you were out of your mind.

 

COLE

They were the favorites and they didn’t disappoint. This was a big win for The Lightning Crew in their war against the former members of The Lightning Crew. Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall won the match, although one wonders if Spanish Fly could have won the match if his partner, Colombian Heat was there.

 

The OAOAST Zero Hour 2006 logo flashes across the screen. We return live to see Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall walk up the entrance ramp smiling evilly as “No Chance In Hell” continues playing. The crowd boos. Spanish Fly is starting to show signs of life.

 

CABOOSE

Oh there you go, being cynical. Why can’t you just face facts? Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall were going to win this match, whether or not there was interference or one member of the team left! They were simply better! And that’s that.

 

COLE

Oh I don’t know. What I DO knows is that the issue brewing between Colombian Heat and Vitamin X isn’t over yet. After what we’ve seen tonight, I think it is only just beginning.

 

CABOOSE

Good. Vitamin X can finally take care of that piece of lower class filth, Colombian HACK, once and for all.

 

COACH

I, personally, am looking forward to it.

 

Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall look to the ring to see Spanish Fly trying to sit up with Mickey Jay checking on him. They laugh evilly. Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua exit through the curtains, their arms over each other’s necks, a scene similar to the one two weeks ago on HeldDOWN~! after Spanish Fly defeated Mr. Boricua in a Steel Cage Match and Spanish Fly and Colombian Heat laughed at Wall and Boricua and left the arena arms over each other’s necks.

 

COLE

Well Mr. Boricua got some revenge against Spanish Fly for beating him two weeks ago in that Steel Cage Match on HeldDOWN~!. Cuban Wall got some measure of revenge against Colombian Heat for beating him back in December in the First Ever Latino Thug Street Fight. And you can bet Vitamin X is happy right now wherever he is, because he may have unintentionally cost Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly the win! Plus, this is another win for The Lightning Crew at Zero Hour as they go 2-0!

 

COACH

Yea! 2 and 0! 2 and 0! 2 and 0! 2 and 0! Let’s go for the sweep, baby! Let’s make it three!

 

CABOOSE

I agree; I just won’t do that stupid chant.

 

COACH

Bummer.

 

COLE

Anyway folks, coming up later tonight, “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican defends the OAOAST 24/7 Championship against Leon Rodez with a 15-minute time limit. Can Tha Puerto Rican walk out of the Staples Center STILL the 24/7 Champion? Or will we, at long last, finally see a NEW OAOAST 24/7 Champion? Can PRL make The Lightning Crew 3-0 at Zero Hour? Or will Leon Rodez make The Lightning Crew go 2-1? We’ll find out later tonight at Zero Hour!

 

Spanish Fly sits up. He looks at the entrance teary-eyed. He is very upset that he lost the match. Referee Mickey Jay is still checking on Spanish Fly. The camera does a close-up of Spanish Fly’s distraught face (or what we can see of it) while Fly holds onto the bottom rope with his hands as “No Chance In Hell” by Bradley Royds ends.

 

(FADE OUT)

Edited by Tony149

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COLE

Fans we are now going to take you to a nearby Skate Park where the X Games Match is going to take place. Taking over on commentary for this match will be Josh Matthews and our very special guest Tony Hawk!

 

(We cut to a crowded skate park with a ring set up in the middle of all the ramps and such. There are no barriers separating the fans from the ring and they look rowdy. Tony and Josh are set up at a table on the rim of the skating area. A few skaters do tricks in the background as we send it to Josh Matthews.)

 

JOSH

Hello everyone I'm Josh Matthews and it is my great pleasure to introduce you all to the man sitting next to me. Tony Hawk!

 

TONY

Hey Josh.

 

JOSH

So tell me Tony are you excited to see this match?

 

TONY

I sure am Josh. I can't wait to see the Jacket take out Jamie O'Hara.

 

JOSH

It's the Parka Tony.

 

TONY

Oh....isn't a Parka a jacket?

 

JOSH

Umm....let's send it to the ring where I understand a man by the name of....Supa Fly Jackson will be doing the ring anouncing.

 

TONY

I think I know that guy.

 

SUPA FLY

Yo yo yo bitches!! It's time for the main event! This is a X Games Match for the X-Division Title.

 

JAIME JAIME JAIME!!!!!!

 

SUPA FLY

First let me intro the loser of the night. He weighs in at a tubby out of shape 245 pounds....lose some weight fatty....he's pulling into the park in a freakin hooptymobile and accompanied by his lover...I mean anger coach....yeah right....Eddy Kalm. Unfortunately he is holding the X-Division Title, but not for long. Ladies and Gentlemen he is.....THE PORKA....I mean PARKA!!!

 

TONY

He's a funny fellow.

 

JOSH

Yeah a real riot.

 

Parka pulls the El Camino up to the edge of the park and immediately people are banging on it and yelling at Parka to get out.

 

JOSH

I don't think it's wise for Parka to...park there.

 

TONY

Hahaha Parka...park.

 

Parka gets out and Eddy pulls the car away to go park it in the parking lot. The fans boo and throw trash at Parka. Parka is caught in a storm of cups and beer bottles.

 

TONY

Wow things are getting kinda out of hand.

 

JOSH

I know what you mean. I'm beginning to fear for my safety. You've got my back right Tony?

 

TONY

Um...not really.

 

Parka pushes and shoves his way to the ring and climbs in as the fans are rabidly against him.

 

PARKA SUCKS....PARKA SUCKS!!!

 

JOSH

I notice they didn't even let Parka use his theme music.

 

TONY

That's too bad I really like that song.

 

JOSH

You can't even remember Parka's name, but you know his song?

 

TONY

That's harsh Josh.

 

JOSH

Sorry.

 

SUPA FLY

And now let me introduce the man!

 

YEAHHHHHH!!!!

 

SUPA FLY

He weighs in at a slim trim 170 pounds of pure muscle. He is accompanied to the ring by no man because he doesn't need anyone when he's got all these screamin fans behind him!!!

 

YEAHHHHHH!!!!!

 

SUPA FLY

He is the soon to be X-Division Champion...the master of disaster....the Birmingham Bad Boy....from Birmingham, England....JAMIE O'HARA!!!!!!

 

YEAHHHHHHHH!!!!!

 

"Lose Yourself", Eminem plays over the speaker system as Jamie walks out amid the crowd and is patted on the back by almost everyone in attendance. Jamie smacks some fine hos on the ass as he makes his way to the ring and then slides in before posing on the turnbuckles for the fans.

 

JAMIE JAMIE JAMIE!!!

 

TONY

They certainly love him here.

 

JOSH

This is surreal as most fans at our shows can't stand O'Hara and love Parka.

 

SUPA FLY

Ring da bell and let the massacre begin.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Parka and Jamie start to circle each other as the crowd presses in on the ring and actually touch the apron as if they were lumberjacks in a Lumberjack Match.

 

JOSH

This does not look good for The Parka.

 

TONY

If I were him I'd stay in the ring at all costs, but I'm not him.

 

JOSH

I'm sure your'e glad of that right now.

 

TONY

I do like the mask though.

 

Parka keeps the mask on for fear of it being stolen as he measures Jamie and readies for a lockup. Thankfully an OAOAST Ref is being used in the match. Finally the two lock up and a roar goes up from the crowd as Jamie locks in a Side Headlock and quickly takes Parka down to the mat. He then wastes little time in rolling over on top of Parka and paintbrushing the back of his head as an insult.

 

OOOOOOOHHHHHH!!!!!

 

TONY

What was he swatting lice or something?

 

JOSH

No he was humiliating Parka.

 

TONY

Oh.

 

Jamie gets up and throws his arms in the air in mock celebration as the fans cheer. Parka comes up looking angry and locks up with Jamie again. This time Parka plants a knee to the gut and gets a round of boos from the crowd. He then goes for a Snap Suplex, but Jamie hooks his leg around Parka's and blocks the move. Jamie then shoves Parka back and goes for a Spinning Heel Kick, but Parka blocks it and holds onto the leg. Jamie hops around on one foot and then goes for an Enziguri, but Parka ducks. Jamie then goes for a Back Kick, but Parka catches that foot as well and Jamie lands face first on the mat. His face bounces off hard and the fans let Parka know they're pissed.

 

JOSH

That could have knocked some teeth loose.

 

TONY

Reminds me of the old days when I started skating. I landed on my face so many times.

 

Parka pulls Jamie up in a Wheelbarrow Position, but Jamie reaches back and hooks Parka's head. He then goes for a Bulldog, but Parka manages to throw him off and Jamie lands hard on the mat.

 

PARKA SUCKS....PARKA SUCKS!!!!

 

Jamie is up quickly and looking pissed. He walks right up to Parka and slaps him in the face. Parka reacts with a right to the head and the two start trading punches back and forth.

 

JOSH

You ever get in a fight at a skating event?

 

TONY

No I can't say that I have.

 

Parka gets the better of the exchange and backs Jamie into a corner. Parka then whips Jamie across to the other side, but when he goes to run a fan trips him up.

 

JOSH

Oh come on!

 

TONY

It's fan participation night at the Skate Park.

 

The ref yells at the fan, but then realizes he can't exactly do anything about it. Jamie sees his opportunity and runs in with a Spinning Wheel Kick as Parka gets up. Parka is knocked over the top rope by the move, but he desparately grabs hold of the top rope so he can land on the apron. Fans reach out and grab at his legs, but he shakes them off and goes to Springboard back into the ring. Jamie sees it coming and dropkicks Parka as he gets to the top rope. Parka falls back into the crowd and the fans catch him.

 

TONY

Whoa it's a crowd surf. Can I jump in?

 

JOSH

No you have a job to do!

 

Parka is pulled down to the ground and the fans hold him as Jamie climbs to the top rope.

 

JOSH

Oh my God what is he planning??

 

Jamie leaps off the top rope with a Corckscrew Body Press into the crowd just as the fans let go of Parka and move. Parka takes the full brunt of the attack and goes down hard!

 

JAMIE JAMIE JAMIE!!!!

 

JOSH

Wow!!!!

 

TONY

This is dangerous, it's out of control....I love it!!

 

Jamie gets up slow and is helped to his feet by the fans. Some others pull Parka to his feet and shove him towards Jamie. Jamie tosses Parka back into the ring much to the delight of the Ref, but not the fans. He then Springboards off the top rope and into a Da Bling Thing!! However Parka moves and Jamie hits nothing but mat!

 

NOOOOOO!!!!!

 

JOSH

Jamie went for a Springboard Bling Thing and missed!

 

TONY

There wasn't much bling on that thing.

 

Parka pulls himself up using the ropes and fends off a few fans with a warning kick. He then pulls Jamie to his feet and nails a Snap Suplex before making a cover.

 

1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No!! The ref is pulled out of the ring by a fan!!

 

JOSH

What!? That's not right!

 

The ref threatens the fan who just laughs in his face so the ref slides back into the ring. Parka pulls Jamie back up and whips him to the ropes before hitting a Samoan Drop, but this time he doesn't go for a cover. He heads for the corner and comes off the second rope with a Diving Elbow to the sternum. Parka then looks out into the crowd and senses that they'll pull the ref out again so he doesn't go for a cover. Instead Parka waits for Jamie to stand and readies himself for attack.

 

JOSH

Parka could be going for a Shining Wizard here.

 

TONY

A what??

 

JOSH

Shining Wizard.

 

TONY

What you mean like Dumbledore?

 

JOSH

No...it's a move.

 

TONY

Oh cause I was about to say I thought Snape killed Dumbledore.

 

JOSH

What? Wait a minute.....I haven't read the book!! You just spoiled it for me!

 

TONY

Sorry.

 

Jamie begins to stand and Parka goes for the Shining Wizard, but Jamie catches his foot, grabs the other foot, and then catapults Parka into the ropes. Parka is draped throat first across the middle rope and is quickly nailed in the head with a Skateboard!

 

JOSH

No!! Oh my God that fan just hit Parka with a skateboard!!

 

TONY

What haven't I ever thought of doing that?

 

Parka falls to the mat and the ref is livid. He threatens to disqualify Jamie.

 

BOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! YOU SUCK REF!!!!!

 

JOSH

If the ref calls this a DQ he'll be lynched for sure.

 

TONY

You didn't say anything about that happening at this event. I didn't come here to watch that.

 

SUPA FLY

Ref need I remind you that this is No DQ. If you don't like it that we'll just have to convince you!

 

The ref throws his hands up in defeat and the fans cheer.

 

TONY

Well he backed down pretty quickly.

 

JOSH

Wouldn't you?

 

Jamie makes a cover after all the commotion and the ref reluctantly makes the count.

 

1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!

 

 

No!!! Parka kicks out!!

 

JOSH

I don't believe it!

 

TONY

Alright raincoat go get him!!!

 

JOSH

Parka

 

TONY

I know I'm just messin with ya.

 

Parka starts to pull himself up and the camera catches sight that Parka's mask is ripped and his head is bleeding from the skateboard shot.

 

TONY

Oh wow.

 

JOSH

Are you squeamish.

 

TONY

No...are you?

 

JOSH

A little.

 

TONY

You've watched a man kill himself over and over for two months now and you seem alright.

 

JOSH

Let's not bring that up please.

 

Jamie waits for Parka to stand and as he does Jamie runs past him, bounces off the ropes, and goes for the Moonsault Reverse DDT. He hits the move and goes for another cover.

 

1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!

 

 

No!!! Parka kicks out again!!

 

OHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

 

JOSH

I can't believe Parka kicked out again!

 

TONY

He's got heart that kid!

 

Jamie looks frustrated as he gets up and shrugs his shoulders to the fans.

 

KILL HIM JAMIE!!!

 

Jamie takes these words to heart and walks up behind Parka who is crawling towards the ropes on his stomach. Jamie then gets a grin on his face and motions that he's going to Curb Stomp Parka's head.

 

DO IT DO IT DO IT!!

 

TONY

Uh oh. Jamie's about to go all American History X on Parka it looks like.

 

JOSH

Ewww...don't bring up that mental picture.

 

Jamie goes to stomp, but at the last second Parka whips around and grabs his leg. Parka then trips up. Jamie falls to the mat and Parka locks in a STF out of nowhere!!

 

JOSH

STF!!!

 

TONY

What does that stand for? "So Totally Fuc...,"

 

JOSH

Tony!!!

 

Jamie's eyes bug out as he can't believe he's in this position as Parka looks to be coming alive. The blood seems to have lit a fire under Parka as he wrenches back on the move and Jamie frantically tries to make it to the ropes.

 

TONY

That has to hurt.

 

JOSH

Believe me it does.

 

Jamie reaches with his free arm for the ropes, but his finger tips are just short of touching. Every time he stretches out he puts more strain on his already strained muscles from the STF. Pain is etched on his face, but with one last stretch he barely gets an index finger on the bottom rope, which is enough.

 

JOSH

Jamie just barely escapes the hold and both men are exhausted.

 

Parka releases the hold and uses the opportunity to rest for a second as the fans breathe a sigh of relief although some actually seemed to find the move cool.

 

COME ON JAMIE!!!!

 

Parka slowly pulls himself up after a few seconds. The ref doesn't count for fear of the crowd's reaction. Once Parka reaches his feet he goes to pull Jamie up and when he does he goes for the Day of the Dead.

 

JOSH

He's going to try and end it with the Day of the Dead.

 

TONY

Isn't that a zombie movie?

 

JOSH

No it's a Mexican holiday actually.

 

TONY

Oh...Parka's Mexican???

 

Parka gets Jamie up on his shoulders, but Jamie fights out and lands behind him. He then springs up onto Parka's shoulders and goes for an Inverted Hurricanrana, but Parka simply falls backwards with an Electric Chair Drop!

 

OHHHHHHHH!!!!!

 

JOSH

Parka just dumped Jamie on his head!

 

TONY

Hope he has a heard head.

 

Parka then goes to the apron and a few fans reach for him, but he kicks at them and drives them back. When he turns around to go for the Slingshot Senton Jamie is getting to his feet and nails Parka with a punch. Parka almost falls off the apron, but he holds on tight to the ropes to stop himself. This gives Parka the perfect angle to drive his shoulder right through the ropes and into Jamie's gut. Parka then slingshots over for a Sunset Flip, but Jamie holds on to the ropes for dear life.

 

JOSH

Parka just can't get him over!

 

Jamie reaches down and punches Parka in the face to stop his attempts to bring him over. Jamie then presses off the middle rope with one foot and looks to drop a knee, but Parka gets his feet up and presses Jamie right over the top rope.

 

JOSH

Oh wow Parka just shoved Jamie over with his feet and Jamie landed in the crowd. If they hadn't caught him he would have landed hard!

 

TONY

I wish I had a crowd to catch me when I fall during a skate.

 

The fans set Jamie down, but Parka takes off across the ring and dives through the ropes with a Suicide Dive just as the put Jamie on the ground. Fans scatter as Parka dives into the crowd and spears Jamie down. Some of the fans actually cheer the move as they admire Parka's guts.

 

JOSH

Did Parka just get cheered?

 

TONY

Well it was a cool move.

 

Both men lie on the floor trying to regain their composure as the fans chant "Holy Shit" for awhile. Parka slowly gets to his feet and brings Jamie up with him. He tries to shoo some of the fans away to get room, but this pisses one guy off who swings his skateboard at Parka. However Parka ducks and Jamie gets a blast to the chest. Jamie was able to get an arm up, but the blow still hurt and he is pissed.

 

O'HARA

You idiot!!!

 

Jamie shoves the fan who shoves back and the fans ooh and ahhh.

 

O'HARA

Are you too frickin stupid to know who to hit man!?

 

FAN

Hey shut up you wannabe Eminem!

 

Parka can't believe what he's seeing as seemingly in seconds people start to turn on Jamie as he throws a fit. Parka senses trouble so he grabs Jamie and tosses him back into the ring. Jamie looks confused on who to be more pissed at as Parka slides in and the two start trading punches. Parka backs Jamie into a corner and starts firing off rapid punches. The fans actually begin to cheer for Parka and the louder they get the faster he punches.

 

JOSH

Parka is just wailing on Jamie!

 

JAMIE SUCKS!!!

 

JOSH

A lot of the fans are turning on O'Hara after his fit.

 

PARKA SUCKS!!!!

 

TONY

Not all of them are!

 

Parka then whips Jamie across the ring and into the opposite corner. He then runs in and nails a Jumping Leg Lariat and lets his momentum carry him over to the apron. No one reaches for Parka and he watches as Jamie stumbles out and falls to the mat before nailing the Slingshot Senton! He then makes a cover.

 

1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!

 

 

No!! Jamie kicks out!!

 

JOSH

I thought he had him.

 

Parka then pulls Jamie back up and goes for the Day of the Dead again, but Jamie reverses before Parka can get him up and goes for a Back Body Drop. However, Parka twists in the air and lands on his feet behind Jamie.

 

JAMIE SUCKS!!!!

 

PARKA SUCKS!!!!

 

GO PARKA!!!!

 

GO JAMIE!!!!

 

JOSH

This crowd is split, but I think the Parka cheers are starting to take over!

 

Parka kicks Jamie in the gut and goes for the move again this time he hits it!

 

YEAHHHHHHH!!!!

 

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

 

Parka makes a cover.

 

1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!

 

 

 

 

No!!! Jamie actually kicked out before the three!!

 

JOSH

I can't believe it. Just when Parka thought he was finally rid of him Jamie kicked out!!

 

OHHHHHHHH!!!!!

 

Parka can't believe it either so he quickly goes to the top and comes off with Death from Above and nails it before making another cover.

 

1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3!!!

 

 

*DING DING DING*

 

JOSH

Finally!!! I can honestly say I think this finally closes this chapter in Parka's career.

 

TONY

What a great match. Parka overcame a hostile crowd and actually turned them in his favor!

 

Most of the fans cheer for Parka while some are still pissed.

 

SUPA FLY

I hate to say it but damn good match man. You earned my respect Skull Face. Here's ya'll's winner and still X-Division Champ....THE PARKA!!!!

 

Supa Fly raises Parka's hand and hands him the X Title, which Parka holds in the air.

 

TONY

Now that's what I like to see. Some respect from the skating community.

 

Parka watches as Jamie stands up and looks extremely pissed. Jamie grabs the house mic away from Supa Fly and speaks.

 

O'HARA

You all freakin suck! I can't believe you cheered for him!!

 

BOOOOOOOOO!!!!

 

O'HARA

Don't boo me mothaf*ckas!

 

BOOOOOOOO!!!

 

O'HARA

I don't need any of you. From here on out I don't give a crap about any fans. I'm outta here!

 

O'Hara drops the mic and walks away. He shoves his way through the crowd and back to the main building as Parka walks through a path cleared for him to the waiting El Camino with Eddy driving.

 

JOSH

Jamie O'Hara fought well through this feud and I'm sure we'll see a lot more of him, but tonight Parka has finally put O'Hara behind him with a hard fought victory.

 

TONY

This was fun.

 

JOSH

Well Tony thanks for joining me tonight.

 

TONY

The pleasure is all yours.

 

JOSH

Let's send it back to the arena.

 

COLE

Thanks Josh and thank you Tony Hawk. Fans we've got more to come tonight.

Edited by Tony149

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Classical music plays in the background as the camera pans across a beautifully decorated mansion, leading to...

 

TRUMP

Hello, I'm Donald Trump, owner and CEO of OAOAST Entertainment, Inc., and I'm here to tell you about AngleMania V.

 

(Shots of Trump Plaza and Casino)

 

TRUMP (V.O.)

The epitome of parody wrestling e-federation major events is coming to my Plaza and Casino in Atlantic City, the most gorgeous casino in the most gorgeous city in the world.

 

Back to Trump.

 

TRUMP

Join me, won't you, in experiencing the most spectacular event in OAOAST history. And yes, someone will be...

 

Close-Up: Trump

 

TRUMP

FIRED!

 

am52hx.gif

 

April 2nd, 2006

 

The classiest, most luxurious, AngleMania ever!

 

We cut back to Tony and Jesse on the interview stage.

 

SCHIAVONE

34 days away from the the greatest night in the history of our sport, Jesse.

 

VENTURA

I'm pumped up for that. Who knows, we might even get to see the Donald vs. Martha! But what a night we've been treated to so far. If the show ended right now people would go home with their money's worth, but the night ain't over, Tony. We still have more to come!

 

SCHIAVONE

You're exactly right. Still to come, the Anderson Cup Finals and our main event, but coming up next is the 24/7 Title match. It's put up or shut up time for Tha Puerto Rican, who defends his title against "The Silky Smooth One" Leon Rodez.

 

VENTURA

The Puerto Rican has already shown he can do the talk to talk, now he's gotta do the walk to walk. And Bode Miller he ain't, Schiavone. Tha Puerto Rican won't embarrass his entire country like that hillbilly. Every time he's talked a big game, he's backed it up. Tonight won't be no different. Rodez is gonna join his old lady in the losers line.

 

SCHIAVONE

Of course, referring to COD failing in their attempt to regain the World tag team title.

 

VENTURA

Yeah. There's still some justice left in the world. And I hope that judge who awarded custody of little Maya to Krista saw OAOAST television this week. What kind of mother is she, smoking with the hope to die? Now she's gonna be out on the town drinking the night away after her loss.

 

SCHIAVONE

Oh, brother. Let's go back to the ring for more action.

 

 

 

COLE

Okay folks, stopwatches at the ready because up next, it's the battle for the OAOAST 24/7 Championship! The eleven month Champion PRL faces quite possibly his toughest test to date, in the form of former X-Division Champion, "Silky Smooth" Leon Rodez...and as usual, the deck is stacked in PRL's favour. Right now, standing by backstage, Josh Matthews is with the challenger.

 

 

 

MATTHEWS

Leon, tonight it's crunch time. For the first time ever you step into the ring with the near 3 year veteran Tha Puerto Rican and look to do what so far, no other man has been able to do in the OAOAST...dethrone Tha Puerto Rican from his 24/7 Championship reign.

 

RODEZ

You know, for the best past of the last year, PRL's held that title, I'll admit that. PRL, you deserve credit. You've survived everything that's been thrown at you somehow. You've survived against John Brickston, Otaku II, Spanish Fly, Colombian Heat...John Brickston...Colombian Heat...John Brickston...uuhhh...well, there's probably some others. The point I'm trying to make is, you've had an answer to everything so far. Fair means or foul, you've done whatever it takes to stay 24/7 Champion. And two weeks ago, you proved that yet again when you tried to put me out of commission before tonight.

 

Rodez shrugs.

 

RODEZ

I don't know whether you intended to completely rule me out of competing tonight, whether you just wanted to soften me up, or maybe just thought you could gain a psychological edge. Whatever it was, you failed. See, I'm 100% and I'm ready to go.

 

Rodez smiles.

 

RODEZ

Luckily, I managed to take enough time out during my week off to catch your little 'display' last week, Puerto...and I have to tip my hat off to you. You did a good job with the whole 'mock me and trash something I'm proud of' routine. But see, while you were playing the funny man and sending up the Love Shack, I was busy working myself into shape. Cuban Wall did a little damage and the ribs were sore for a few days. But the week off was well spent. I've been skipping ropes. I've been scaling mountains. I've been running across scenic background in slow motion. Alix has been assisting me with my cardiovascular workouts. And PRL, tonight, I am ready. I'm ready for everything you throw at me, however cheap, desperate and dirty the tactic is. You've had a good run, Puerto. But as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. And tonight, Mr 24/7 Champion...your 15 minutes of fame are up!

Edited by King Cucaracha

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Back to ringside we go, with 2/3rds of Triple C.

 

CABOOSE

Ooh, Leon pulled a funny! Well if anyone's fifteen minutes of fame are gonna be up tonight, it'll be his! Fact is, Rodez has to pin PRL or make him submit within fifteen minutes, not the other way around. This isn't as simple as sneaking up behind someone and throwing them over the top rope or superkicking them off an apron. Rodez has proved he can do that to PRL. He HASN'T proved that he can beat him in a wrestling match though.

 

COLE

Well, maybe that has something to do with him never getting the chance!

 

CABOOSE

Well, maybe I realise that! All I'm saying is, PRL doesn't know if he can beat Rodez and Rodez doesn't know if he can beat PRL. It's their first ever match and naturally, neither of them can look back and say 'I know how to beat you because I did it before'. But, AGAIN, PRL doesn't HAVE to beat Rodez. Rodez has to beat PRL and he has to do it without the benefit of a feeling out process...and he can't afford to make any mistakes.

 

COLE

And I'm sure PRL will use every trick in the book too.

 

CABOOSE

Your pessimism disgusts me.

 

COLE

In any event, this could be the shortest 15 minutes in Leon Rodez's life...or, PRL just might not make it that far. We're about to find out as we send it up to the ring and Michael Buffer.

 

zerohour24706.jpg

 

 

 

The camera switches to the ring and there's that big match atmosphere hanging over the arena, as Buffer stands centre stage.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen...the following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a fifteen minute time-limit...and it is for the OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPIONSHIP...

 

 

*THE CHAMP IS HERE!*

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

The arena is suddenly shrouded in darkness as the all to familiar strains of "Know Your Role '99" kicks in, lights shooting around the simplistic Zero Hour entrance way. And into the cauldron of noise enters Tha Puerto Rican, 24/7 Spinner Belt draped over his shoulder. Tonight, there is no Stephen Joseph Popick (OMG teh continuity~!)...but PRL is not alone, as Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez follow him through the entrance. Looking out into the crowd, the smug PRL smells the proverbial electricity before leading the way. Lindsay applauds her man as he strides down the aisle, past the booing fans

 

BUFFER

Introducing at this time...being accompanied to the ring by the lovely, 'Ms. Puerto Rico', Ms. LINDSAY GONZALEZ! Standing five feet, nine inches tall and weighing in tonight at two hundred and twenty pounds! Hailing from San Juan, Puerto Rico. He is the leader of the infamous Lightning Crew! The man with the longest title reign in the OAOAST today! Your current, reigning and defending One and Only AngleSault Thread, 24/7 Champion of the WOOORRRLLD...he is "The Corporate Champion"..."The P.R Menace!" Ladies and gentlemen, he is "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION"... THHHAAAAAAA PPUUUUUUEEERRRRRRRRRTOOOOOOOOoooooo... rrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRR - IIIICCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!!!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

CABOOSE

Man, who gave Buffer the payrise?

 

By the time Buffer's typically OTT intro is over, PRL has finished jawing with a section of rather vocal Leon Rodez fans, all female naturally, and now stands on the apron. Right on cue he shoots into the ring, spinning around before coming to a stop in the centre. PRL removes his 24/7 Title and places it proudly in front of him as he hits an HBK muscle pose, prompting pyro to shoot off behind him.

 

"P . R SUCKS!"

"P . R SUCKS!"

"P . R SUCKS!"

"P . R SUCKS!"

 

PRL goes through his usual routine, posing at all four corners of the ring. Leaping down from the fourth turnbuckle, he retrieves his 24/7 Title from Lindsay and throws it back over his shoulder as he removes his sunglasses and earring.

 

COLE

PRL looks ready.

 

CABOOSE

PRL's always ready! How do you think he's held the title for so long?

 

COLE

Wel...

 

CABOOSE

On second thoughts, shut up.

 

 

*GOOOOONG!*

 

"YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"

 

"C'mon man"

"DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK..."

 

The fans erupt as "Mama Said Knock You Out" hits and Leon Rodez makes his triumphant entrance! Black robe flapping behind him, Rodez does a quick swivel in the aisle before tagging his way on down to the ring. Watching on from the ring meanwhile, an unimpressed look comes over PRL's face.

 

BUFFER

And, the opponent and challenger! Standing five foot ten and weighing two hundred, twenty eight pounds. Hailing from the majestic falls of Grand Rapids, Michigan...tonight, he aims to win his first OAOAST singles championship in ten months. He is the host of the award winning Love Shack and a former OAOAST X-Division Champion... "The New-Age Love Machine"... this is "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOONN... RRRRRRRROOOOOODDEEEEZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

Rodez blows a kiss to his group of fans beside the aisle as he leaps to the apron, PRL removing the 24/7 Title from his waist and wielding it defensively. Smirking, Rodez removes his robe and drops it to ringside before leaping into the ring. PRL quickly shuffles Lindsay out of the ring and safely to the outside, still ready to use his belt as a weapon should the need arise. But of course, Leon isn't interested in anything other than a fair contest.

 

COLE

It'll be interesting to see exactly what Rodez's strategy will be here tonight. A lot has been made of the time-limit, but I get the feeling that Rodez would be best served treating this match like any other. If he comes out trying to rush a victory, he risks leaving himself open to mistakes.

 

CABOOSE

Mistakes mishmakes, Cole! You talk as if the only way PRL can win is by running the clock down or relying on mistakes. Give him at least some credit, wouldya?

 

COLE

Sorry...must be that bitter taste in my mouth from AnglePalooza transferring into my brain.

 

CABOOSE

That was a month ago Mikey, get over it!

 

COLE

Tell that to Colombian Heat.

 

CABOOSE

Phff, like I'd speak to trash like him.

 

Assigned referee Charles Robinson coaxes the 24/7 Title from PRL and shows it to Leon, who gives the 24/7 plate a spin and gives himself a cheap laugh, before Robinson hoists the belt high overhead. Both men look up at the gold, PRL anxiously wiping his hands together while Rodez hops about on the spot. As Robinson lowers the belt, the still anxious PRL tells Robinson to hurry up. And, when that fails, he yells at him to "GET ON WITH IT, DAMNIT!", which unsurprisingly works like a charm.

 

*DINGDINGDING!*

 

Right on the bell, Rodez begins to shuffle out of the corner ready to lock up. However, PRL gets a sudden dose of cold feet. Backing away from Rodez he ducks his head out through the ropes and forces Robinson in to hold Rodez back! The crowd groan at PRL's blatant stalling, as Robinson asks him what the matter is. Words can't really be heard, but the message gets across from The Corporate Champion's frantic gesturing. He's unhappy and demands that Robinson check Rodez's kneebrace.

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

COLE

See...every trick in the book!

 

CABOOSE

I know! His surgery was years ago, why the hell does he need to wear a metal brace around his knee?

 

COLE

I meant PRL. He was so anxious to get the bell rung and I guess we know why. The fifteen minutes are underway and PRL is stalling for time, trying to run the clock down...he had no problem with the brace before the bell had rung!

 

Seeing nothing wrong and no reason to delay any further Robinson is satisfied with the kneebrace and signals for the two combatants to get it on. Leon advances into the centre of the ring, as does PRL...but at the last moment, he detours and ducks his head out of the ring again, this time to discuss strategy with Lindsay Gonzalez! His strategy session doesn't last long though, as Rodez rushes across the ring and tugs PRL away from the ropes and around into a right hand! Another! A third! And a fourth! Rodez whips the reeling Puerto Rican across the ring, ducking his head for a backdrop...but PRL isn't coming back, clinging onto the ropes and sliding out of the ring!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

COLE

Give me a break! PRL couldn't be more blatant about this if he tried!

 

CABOOSE

It's smart strategy, s'all.

 

PRL retreats to a safe distance down the aisleway and continues to stall for time, as Lindsay rushes over and give her man a settling backrub.

 

"P . R SUCKS!"

"P . R SUCKS!"

"P . R SUCKS!"

"P . R SUCKS!"

 

Discussion isn't easy with the raucous crowd around them but PR and Lindsay try anyway as they keep themselves positioned on the floor. Referee Robinson is ready to start a count, only trouble is Leon Rodez has now broken that count as he rolls from the ring. Rodez strides down the aisle, PRL with his back to him, which understandably freaks out Lindsay. She scrambles away to the confusion of Tha Puerto Rican, who suddenly finds himself grabbed by the head and wheeled back to ringside before being thrown into the ring. PRL rolls to his knees and begs off as Leon slides back in...but The Corporate Champion suddenly bursts into life and dives upon Rodez, slugging away at him with forearms!

 

COLE

PRL lured Rodez right into that trap!

 

CABOOSE

Again, all brilliant strategy.

 

PRL continues with the clubbering blows before jumping to his feet and yelling at the crowd. The responce if pretty predictable. Pulling Rodez up, PRL then sends his challenger into the ropes and ducks his head for a backbody drop. Rodez manages to leapfrog over him though, keeping his momentum going as he hits the opposite ropes and nails the bemused champion with a clothesline!

 

"YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

PRL bounces right back up, but he's bounced right back down with another clothesline! Reeling, PRL does a full 360 trying to find Rodez, ending up stumbling right into a BAAAAACK BODY DROP~! that sends him HIGH up into the lights! And guess who's fired up!

 

RODEZ

C'MON!!!!!!

 

If you said 'Leon Rodez', you're right my good sirs! The Silky Smooth One stays on the offence as he backs PRL into a corner and scales the turnbuckles in front of him.

 

RODEZ

I WANNA SEE IF YOU CAN COUNT, LOS ANGELES~!

 

 

"ONE!"

 

"TWO!"

 

"THREE!"

 

"FOUR!"

 

"FIVE!"

 

"SIX!"

 

"SEVEN!"

 

"EIGHT!"

 

"NINE!"

 

Rodez stops on punch number nine and blows a kiss to the crowd, at which point, he suddenly finds himself pulled off the ropes by PRL, the 24/7 Champion dropping to a knee with an inverted atomic dro...NO! Rodez lands in front of the knee and clotheslines PRL down yet once more!!

 

COLE

Oh yeah, Leon Rodez is building some momentum now!

 

Pulling himself up, PRL has had enough and again heads for higher ground. This time though, Rodez catches him on the way out, pulling him back into the ring and landing another right hand! PRL staggers back into the ropes, as Rodez exposes the chest and...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

...a hard knifedge chop leaves PRL clutching his chest in agony! But Rodez isn't done, swatting PR's hands away...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

...for a second!

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

...and a third for good luck! Rodez then grabs PRL by the arm and attempts an irish whip, only for Tha Puerto Rican to reverse. Into the ropes goes Leon, but much like his opponent earlier he grabs the ropes and brings himself to an abrupt halt. PRL is frustrated at the sight of this and charges in at Rodez, but the challenger is a step ahead and he drop toe holds the 24/7 Champion, causing him to land throat first across the middle rope!

 

COLE

Uh-oh...here it comes!

 

CABOOSE

Thank God Coach mysteriously disappeared again...

 

Doing the JIG~!, Rodez hits the ropes in front, charging at PRL and driving all of his weight down into the spine!

 

COLE

CALL THAT BITCH BOJANGLES~!

 

CABOOSE

Ugh!

 

With his back arched in pain Tha Puerto Rican comes off the ropes and stumbles backwards, into a quick schoolboy rollup from Rodez...

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

COLE

Rodez looking for the quick pin which is smart strategy, especially in a match like this. There's no time for Leon to hang about tonight.

 

Kicking out, PRL again heads for the outside. As he ducks under the ropes, a deathgrip on his foot stops him from getting to the floor, Rodez clinging onto his opponent and dragging him back into the ring, not allowing him to stall for any more time. Bringing PRL to his feet, Rodez lands a quick forearm shot. He goes for another...but is cut off by a thumb to the eye from The Corporate Champion!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

CABOOSE

There we go!

 

COLE

More blatant cheating from PRL and of course he doesn't care if he's caught, because a disqualification will mean he retains the title.

 

Having bought himself some time, a little more confidence exudes Tha Puerto Rican now. Throwing a few Rock-style punches, PRL backs Rodez up a few steps, giving him room to fire off a standing dropkick. The momentum sends Rodez flying out through the ropes and with a hefty splat on the arena floor as he lands. Rodez ends up against the barricade where a few fans encourage him to get up. Meanwhile, in the ring, PRL backs into a neutral corner and kicks himself up onto the top rope, lounging across the turnbuckle.

 

CABOOSE

Why don't you comment on that, Mikey?

 

COLE

What? The blatant disrespect? The blinding arrogance?

 

CABOOSE

The fact that a lesser man would have ignored the referee and followed his opponent out to the floor, but Tha Puerto Rican shows his respect for authority and gives his opponent time to rest.

 

COLE

Come back Coach, all is forgiven!

 

PRL continues to relax as Charles Robinson lays on a count, up to '3' already. Pulling himself up on the floor, Rodez knows that time is a'tickin' and he quickly tries to get back into the ring. As he does, PRL hops down from the corner and charges across the ring with a knee to knock his opponent off the apron and to the floor! Robinson wheels around and reprimands PRL...

 

 

 

...but it's all part of the plan, as while Robinson is distracted, Lindsay Gonzalez rushes around the ring and leaps onto an unsuspecting Rodez's shoulders and PLANTS him on his head on the floor with a Lindsay-Curanna!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

CABOOSE

Beautiful! Oh, so beautiful! A brief moment of pleasure and yet so, so much pain!

 

Lindsay quickly makes her way back to PRL's corner and puts on her best innocent face while PRL finally backs off from the referee, encouraging him to get on and count Rodez back out. Why Rodez is laid out on the floor again isn't clear to Lil' Naitch, but he counts anyway.

 

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

 

With the crowd willing him on Rodez sits himself up and shakes out the cobwebs, pulling himself up on the apron and rolling himself in at the count of '5'. PRL is right there waiting for him with some patented shaky leg kicks though, not giving Rodez a chance to get fully into the ring. Eventually the kicks force Rodez back outside the ring and again PRL demands that a count be laid on his opponent. Robinson obliges, while Puerto relaxes behind him. As the ref reaches '4', Rodez again drags himself back into the ring and again PRL is waiting. This time, he pulls Rodez up in a front facelock and lands a few shots across the back. PRL then throws Leon's arm overhead and sets up, taking him over with a quick vertical suplex. Clinging onto head and tights, PRL then rolls through and drags the Silky Smooth One up again for a second suplex. Still hanging on, another roll through from PRL is met with applause from Lindsay as he's ready to complete the Corporate Trifecta. Lifting Rodez up, PRL leaves his opponent hanging, giving the crowd the immortal "You Can't See Me" hand gesture. But, in doing so, PRL can no longer see Rodez as he manages to kick his feet and force himself over the back of his opponent, charging PRL into the ropes and bringing him over with a Michigan roll...

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

The kickout sends Rodez forward and through the ropes, almost crashing to the outside, but he manages to hang onto the middle rope and land on the apron. PRL rolls through to his feet and lunges towards The Silky Smooth One. But the challenger ducks his head through the ropes and drives his shoulder into the gut. The force knocks PRL off his feet briefly and he doubles over, winded, as Rodez slingshots in with a sunset flip! PRL manages to stay on his feet, but he's off balance and about to be taken over at any second...so he collapses forwards and grabs the middle rope!!

 

 

 

1...

 

 

COLE

NO, NO!

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

ROBINSON

...HEY!!

 

Luckily, referee Robinson notices PRL hung up all over the ropes and stops his count. Trying to look innocent PRL takes his arms off the ropes and holds his hands up for Robinson to see...but that allows Leon to finally hook him over into the sunset flip...

 

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

NO!

 

Both men scramble to their feet and it's PRL who goes on the attack, landing a hard knee to the gut of Rodez and locking on a side headlock in an attempt to slow the match back down. PRL hangs onto the headlock, bringing Rodez to his knees.

 

COLE

Rodez continues to look for that quick pin but PRL now has control of the match and I wouldn't expect him to try anything drastic here.

 

Indeed, PRL seems content with just keeping Rodez controlled now as he continues to wrench on the headlock. Some of the fans are growing restless and throw some abuse at PR to pass the time. That just brings a sly sneer to PRL's face as he proceeds to turn his back to the referee and land a closed fist to the face of Rodez. Unable to spot it, Robinson sees nothing wrong as PRL re-tightens his hold. Only trouble is, those elbows that keep jabbing at his abdomen. The elbows keep landing until PRL's hold is weakened, enough for Rodez to hit the rope...NO! PRL stops Leon in his tracks, but only with a handful of hair which pulls him back into the side headlock.

 

COLE

Now that's just ridiculous! Right in front of the referee too!

 

Fans in the front row try to get Robinson's attention, but PRL turns and yells at the "little jabronis" to "shut your damn mouths" as he cranks the headlock. This time, Rodez tries another means of escape, as he lifts PRL up for a back suplex. PRL manages to float over the back and instantly lunges for another headlock, but a hand in the back is enough to push him forward into the ropes. As the champion rebounds Rodez fires off a back elbow, but PRL ducks it and skids to a halt behind Leon, waiting for him to turn around and catching him in the jaw with a Spinning Wheel Kick!

 

PRL

HAHA!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

PRL jumps up laughing maniacally and taps an index finger to his temple to show everyone just how smart he is. On the outside, Lindsay bounces up and down applauding, which gets a cheap pop from those nearby.

 

CABOOSE

I love it!

 

COLE

You know, you're supposed to maintain some sort of impartiality here.

 

CABOOSE

I was talking about Lindsay actually, but up yours regardless.

 

Turning back to Rodez, PRL brings his man up and snaps off a quick Rock-punch. And a second. Spitting up at his hand, PRL then nails a big third punch that sends Leon back down to the mat. Smug as ever, Tha Puerto Rican mockingly checks an imaginary watch on his wrist as he takes his sweet time about following up. Rodez pushes himself back to his knees again...and again, PRL wraps on a side headlock.

 

CABOOSE

Right back to the Corporate Headlock, excellent wrestling.

 

COLE

Corporate Headlock?

 

CABOOSE

Yeah.

 

COLE

Shouldn't it be something alliterate, like The Corporate Clinch?

 

CABOOSE

That's terrible. You're terrible.

 

Rodez fights to his feet in the side headlock and, drawing on the support of the fans, he starts to fire up. And elbow lands to the gut...and a second...but PRL suddenly lands a Million $ Kneelift to cut Rodez's fightback off before it has chance to get going.

 

"PUER - TO SUCKS!"

"PUER - TO SUCKS!"

"PUER - TO SUCKS!"

"PUER - TO SUCKS!"

 

Dragging Rodez up once more, PRL lands a couple more Rock-punches before he takes his groggy opponent by the arm and whips him across the ring. Leon is able to duck underneath a clothesline though...and he ducks under a back elbow too, now building up a head of steam as he charges back...into a Sleeper Hold from PRL!!

 

*GROOOOOOAAAAAAN!*

 

Rodez immediately sinks to one knee, giving PRL the leverage advantage as he really cinches in on the hold. Lindsay applauds and not for the first time she's alone in doing so. Leaning over the top of his opponent PRL has the sleeper in tight and he's already beaming from ear to ear, nodding his head in approval as Rodez is sinking ever further down and seemingly out.

 

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

 

COLE

The crowd are trying to will on the challenger here, but PRL looks comfortable here.

 

Upon demands from the champion, Charles Robinson checks Rodez and lifts up his limp right arm, preparing the timekeeper...

 

 

 

 

 

...and it drops.

 

"ONEEEEEE!"

 

CABOOSE

HA! Who needs fifteen minutes, PRL's got this wrapped up with time to spare!

 

Robinson lifts up the arm again, preparing to drop it again. Suddenly though, a burst of energy pulses through Rodez's body and before the arm can even be dropped a second time he wrenches it from Robinson and stands bolt upright! PRL is shocked, hanging desperately on Rodez's back. The challenger is still a little woozy, but he has enough frame of mind to go into reverse and DRIVE PRL spine first into the turnbuckles! PRL continues to hang onto the sleeper though, so Rodez backs into the opposite corner and squashes The Corporate Champion a second time. The grip is weakening but still PRL clings on. Rodez walks to the centre of the ring and tries to wrestle Tha Puerto Rican from off his back, but PRL manages to get his feet safely on the ground and re-tightens the sleeper. And with a few more wrenches of the hold, Rodez is forced back down to one knee again and Robinson is forced to step in again, lifting up Rodez's arm and...

 

 

 

 

 

...it drops.

 

"ONEEEEEE!"

 

COLE

Credit to PR, he's worked his way back into control and now Rodez is being put to sleep once more.

 

Moving in again, Robinson lifts the arm overhead. This time, there's no sudden burts of energy, no fightback, as Robinson releases the arm...

 

 

 

 

 

 

...and it drops again.

 

"TWOOOOOO!"

 

COLE

One more and PRL will have completed a shockingly decisive victory!

 

CABOOSE

Shhh! Don't jinx it, idiot!

 

 

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

 

Again the crowd break into chants to support the challenger as Robinson gives the signal to the timekeeper as he raises the arm for the third time. PRL nods away, confident that he's sapped the life from his challenger, who still looks limp as Robinson holds the arm aloft, releasing and...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...of COURSE it doesn't drop, doofus!

 

"YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

CABOOSE

Crud.

 

Rodez shivers and shakes, fighting back to his feet and driving in an elbow. And another! A third breaks the grip of the 24/7 Champion and allows Rodez to finally get some precious, precious oxygen into his lungs again. As Leon gets his bearings back meanwhile, PRL lands a quick shot over the back to keep him doubled over. PRL swings with another shot between the shoulder blades...causing Leon to snap back upright~! PRL is shocked, doing the first thing that comes to mind, which is fire of a Rock-punch...NO EFFECT~! Another punch...NO EFFECT~! Seeing as the punches aren't working, naturally PRL decides to add some impact on the next punch, spitting on his hand before he lands it...STILL NO EFFECT~! Reeling, PRL tries a clothesline which is ducked, coming to an abrupt halt and finally landing another punch...AND GETS A FINGER IN THE FACE!!!

 

RODEZ

YYYYYOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU~!~!~!~!~!

 

COLE

OMGHE'SRODEZINGUP@~!

 

With a run-up behind him, PRL swings with a clothesline...but Rodez blocks, nailing a right hand! PRL comes back with a Rock-punch...but it's blocked, and retaliated with a right hand. Right hand! Right hand! Right hand! PRL is backed into the ropes and predictably enough, Rodez backs him in and sends him to the other side. Back rebounds Tha Puerto Rican...BIG BOOT!!

 

CABOOSE

Okay, I quit.

 

COLE

PRL isn't the only one who can take 'inspiration' from others it seems!!

 

The crowd are going BANANA now, as Rodez plays to them as he goes through a quick posedown routine, then asks if they wanna see the end. Unanimously, they do, so Rodez hits the ropes and...BIG M'FIN LEGDROP!!

 

"YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

IT'S OVER! COUNT IT!

 

Rodez dives right into a cover and the crowd count along with Robinson and Rodez...

 

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOOOO!!

 

COLE

I don't believe it!! PRL kicked out of that deadly legdrop of doom!!

 

CABOOSE

*groans*

 

Unable to believe his luck, Rodez questions the count with Robinson. Robinson doesn't budge though, so Rodez has to rethink his plans. While this is going on meanwhile, PRL has recovered from the shock and absurdity of what went down and realises that a simple legdrop from Rodez doesn't do a whole lot of damage, not enough to keep him down for long. PRL gives some signals, which suddenly prompt Lindsay Gonzalez to hop up to the apron. And as Leon turns back to go on the attack, PRL is waiting with a lowblow!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

CABOOSE

HA! Whatcha gonna do, brother, when PRL knocks the wind right outta you!!

 

COLE

This is ridiculous, Robinson needs to get Lindsay the hell out of here!

 

CABOOSE

And leave us with no-one to ogle? Bitch, please!

 

COLE

Does your buddy PRL know you ogle his girlfriend then, 'Boose?

 

CABOOSE

Uh...uhm...moving on...

 

Rodez collapses with a hold of his crotch, which PRL disguises by giving him a couple of shaky leg kicks as Robinson turns back around. Reaching down, PRL then pulls Rodez back to his feet and whips him into the turnbuckles. Hitting hard spine first, Rodez sinks into the corner, prime position for Tha Puerto Rican to sprint across the ring and crush him with a Stinger Splash! PRL quickly backtracks to the centre of the ring as Rodez stumbles out of the corner, waiting patiently for him to get into reach, before ducking under the arm and going for the Latin Sla...NO! Rodez frantically elbows his way out of the Latin Slam attempt! Away stumbles PRL, but he gets his head straight and charges in again, only for Rodez to sidestep him and throw him up and over the top rope! PRL manages to hang onto the top rope and he lands on the apron but Rodez is waiting with a Superki...DUCKED! PRL avoids the kick and nails Rodez in the face with a forearm!

 

COLE

PRL, obviously learning! It was that same Leon Rodez superkick that eliminated him from the Royal Rumble, of course.

 

CABOOSE

If only he'd have done that last month.

 

With Rodez halted PRL reaches over the top rope and hooks him up for a suplex, looking to take him on out to the floor. But Leon has no intention of allowing that, jabbing PRL repeatedly in the ribs to force him to break his grip, then grabs the top rope and looks to bring Tha Puerto Rican back in the hard way! PRL lets go of the ropes just in time though, so pleased with his move that he decides to laugh it up right there and then...which allows Leon to clothesline him down! PRL bumps off the apron and goes rolling across the arena floor, while Rodez drops to his knees to catch a break.

 

COLE

PRL can't keep Rodez down and he can't keep him at bay, but until Leon Rodez can build a lengthy spell of momentum, he's always going to be fighting against the clock.

 

CABOOSE

And we're quite a way in already.

 

Having caught his breath, Rodez pulls himself back up...and knowing that Tha Puerto Rican will be in no hurry to get back into the ring, Rodez rolls to the outside and looks to take the fight to him. Grabbing PRL, Rodez tries to turn him back towards the squared circle. A knee to the gut cuts him off though, PRL now grabbing Rodez and sending him the other way, up and over the barricade and into the crowd! Rodez falls to the unprotected concrete floor and the fans try to pile over which kicks security into gear, while PRL looks back to the ring. Wisely he rolls back into the ring and breaks the count, then rolls right back out. PRL smirks now, seeing Rodez hurting as he scales over the barricade and follows Rodez into the crowd.

 

CABOOSE

Oh no, don't go out there Puerto! Remember what happened last year!

 

COLE

That's a good point...hopefully we don't see any chairs flying around here, because we really could do without a riot tonight.

 

Picking up Rodez on the floor, the smug PRL jaws with some of the nearby fans before scooping Leon up...and SLAMMING him down onto the concrete, with a sickening splat!

 

"OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

Rodez groans and writhes on the floor as PRL stands over him still sneering, informing the crowd that they "can't see me" before picking Leon up again. Thankfully, PRL decides to throw Rodez back over the barricade and to ringside, quelling any fears of another Zero Hour debacle. PRL comes back to ringside as well and goes after Rodez, allowing The Silky Smooth One to roll back into the ring and following him in. With an encouraging look to Lindsay, PRL seems sure the match is in control.

 

"PUER - TO SUCKS!"

"PUER - TO SUCKS!"

"PUER - TO SUCKS!"

"PUER - TO SUCKS!"

 

PRL measures Rodez on his knees, landing a Rock-punch. He then boots Rodez in the chest before dragging him fully upright, sending him into a corner with an irish whip. Rodez slumps in the corner as PRL saunters across the ring and flips off a section of anti-PRL fans, before turning his attentions to Rodez, sprinting across the ring and launching into another Stinger Splash...

 

 

 

 

 

...RODEZ MOVES...

 

 

 

 

...BUT PRL IS SAFE!! Showing great athleticism, PRL lands on the middle rope and settles himself before springing off the middle strand, spinning around in mid-air...

 

 

 

...but Rodez is waiting and guides PRL right down into a nasty bout of Heamorrhoids!!

 

"YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

Oh my, that'll do nothing for PRL's less than manly voice!

 

CABOOSE

Oh no, oh no...Lindsay, get over there and help him out! I think PRL needs some tending to!

 

COLE

I'd suggest that you do it Caboose, what with you being so pally with PR, but we'll leave that one alone I think.

 

PRL drops to his hands and knees and pants away as he tries to get his wind back. Behind him, Rodez has weakly scaled to the middle rope and is lining up PRL. Pushing himself up from his knees, the bug-eyed Puerto Rican stops and sneaks a peak inside his tights to check that everything is order. Little does he knows what's waiting for him, as Rodez leaps high off the middle rope...AND PUNCHES PRL IN THE ASS!!!!

 

"YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

ASS PUNCH! ASS PUNCH!

 

CABOOSE

DUB TEE EFF~!

 

Aching from both sides, PRL shimmies rather...awkwardly...into the centre of the ring, while Leon Rodez runs right past him and into the ropes. Bouncing back, Rodez launches through the air and wipes PRL out with a crossbody block...

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout!!

 

Both men are up at the same time, but it's Rodez with the pendulum of momentum swung in his direction as he charges through PRL with a clothesline! PRL comes back up, into another clothesline! Still PRL continues to get up, but a final clothesline knocks him down as Rodez is FIRED UP~! once more! Rolling to his knees, it seems the Champion has had enough and begs off from his opponent. Rodez plays to the fans, fist balled as he looks for some encouragement from the fans...and naturally he gets it, so he boots PRL in the chest and pulls him to his feet, sending him off into the ropes. Back shoots PRL and he manages to duck a clothesline, picking up speed as he comes off the opposite side and dives...into a HUGE Powerslam from Leon!! Diving on top, Rodez hooks the leg...

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

COLE

Leon is finally building that momentum and PRL looks like he's reeling here!

 

PRL tries to scramble away but Rodez has him and pulls him up, applying a waistlock. Throwing elbows, the 24/7 Champion manages to escape quickly and backs into the corner in front of him to hop to the middle rope. In steps Rodez, PRL waiting with a flat foot to the face and applying a front facelock and giving the signal to Lindsay. She applauds gleefully as PRL leaps off the ropes. But Rodez manages to ride PRL's momentum and trips him out of the move, then proceeds to fall back and slingshot PRL right back into the corner!!

 

*OOOOOOOOFF!*

 

Landing hard across the top turnbuckle, the winded PRL stumbles out of the corner, turning around and into the clutches of Leon Rodez who prepares him for an Exploder Slam...but again, PRL throws desperate elbows to escape!

 

CABOOSE

Look at that fighting spirit. The heart of a champion beats in that man, no matter what you say about him!

 

As Rodez stumbles away, PRL takes a few precious breaths before catching the challenger on the turn with a boot to the gut. PRL drags Rodez by the hair and pulls him into a standing headscissors.

 

PRL

FREE PUERTO RICO NOW!

 

The crowd boo as PRL hoists Rodez up, looking for the Gory Bomb that shares the name of his shout. But on the way over, Rodez manages to squirm free of Tha Puerto Rican's grasp and lands on his feet. Realising his opponent has escaped, PRL quickly turns around...and eats a jab!

 

 

 

A jab!

 

 

COLE

Uh-oh!

 

 

 

A jab!

 

 

CABOOSE

C'mon referee, those are closed fists!!

 

 

A jab!

 

 

 

 

 

A jab!

 

 

 

Turning to the crowd, Rodez blows the traditional kiss...but then blows the proverbial meat missile, as he whiffs his enziguri! PRL manages to duck just in time and Rodez flops hard onto his front! Briefly tapping his forehead again to display his smarts, PRL is set now, charging in again...but Rodez ducks under his clothesline attempt and again sets him in position for the Explode...

 

 

 

 

 

NO, ROCK BOTTOM!!

 

"YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

ROCK BOTTOM! ROCK BOTTOM ON THA PUERTO RICAN!!

 

CABOOSE

NO! It's the Latin Slam and damnit he shouldn't be allowed to use that!!

 

Lindsay begins to freak out on the floor, already holding her hand in her heads as PRL lies motionless on the mat, Rodez hooking the near leg and rolling across his man...

 

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

"OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

The crowd despairs, but Rodez stays calm and pulls himself right back up and waits.

 

CABOOSE

Thank God he kicked out! How terrible would that have been if PRL were beaten with his own move?

 

COLE

Technically, it's not his move.

 

CABOOSE

So what, are we gonna be calling up Juvi Guerrera's lawyers if Rodez hits a 450, are we?

 

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, ten minutes have elapsed in this contest...FIVE MINUTES remain in the time-limit, FIVE MINUTES!

 

 

Hearing the announcement, Rodez becomes a bit more jumpy as he encourages PRL to his feet. On the outside Lindsay can be heard shouting to PRL that there's not long to go, but whether PRL is aware enough to hear her is anyone's guess.

 

COLE

Five minutes remain and Leon Rodez is picking up steam, but he has to go for this now!

 

CABOOSE

And all PRL has to do is hold out for five more minutes.

 

COLE

What happened to PRL being good enough to beat Rodez within fifteen minutes?

 

CABOOSE

Hey, as long as he keeps the belt, who are we to complain?

 

PRL is back up now and Rodez has no more time to waste, hurriedly snatching hold of the 24/7 Champion and cradling him into a small package...

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

Both men come back up and PRL throws an errant European uppercut, which Rodez twists past, executing a backslide...

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kickout!

 

PRL gets to his feet first and meets Rodez on the way up with a knee to the gut. Having bought himself some time, The Corporate Champion then takes a quick breather before going in again...but he gets tripped, Rodez floating over into a Jacknife pin...

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SHOULDER UP!!

 

COLE

PRL is hanging on by the skin of his teeth!

 

CABOOSE

Teeth don't have skin, stupid.

 

First to his feet, Rodez takes the initiative and runs past PRL as he's pulling himself up, rushing into the ropes. Bemused, PRL gets up and seems lost for a moment, before turning to find Rodez flying into him with a flying forearm! No kip-up, because Leon respects the laws of workrate, but Rodez does roll to the corner of the ring...

 

 

*STOMP!*

 

 

 

*STOMP!*

 

CABOOSE

Is there anyone this idiot WON'T steal from?

 

 

*STOMP!*

 

COLE

You mean Rodez or PRL?

 

 

*STOMP!*

 

CABOOSE

Shut up!

 

 

*STOMP!*

 

*STOMP!*

 

*STOMP!*

*STOMP!*

*STOMP!*

 

 

PRL reaches his feet and Rodez comes jigging out of the corner, throwing out some Sweet Chin Musi...DUCKED! PRL avoids the Superkick, tripping Rodez up as he turns around and stepping through INTO A SHARPSHOOTER!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

CABOOSE

YES! YES! RING THE BELL!

 

COLE

PRL with The Sharpshooter, which will not only work on Rodez's surgically repaired right knee but also buy him some valuable time.

 

CABOOSE

Screw that, make him tap PR!!

 

Rodez knows that he can't afford to stay in this hold for long and tries to crawl for the ropes immediately. Sitting back, PRL is determined not to let that happen, putting everything he has into the hold. Groaning, the pain is clear on Rodez's face. But he knows he can't let that affect him.

 

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

 

Crawling forward, Rodez is strong enough to drag his similiar sized opponent with him a little way. PRL shakes his head and tries to block out the noise of the crowd, but it's Leon that the noise is affecting as it spurs him on to make another crawl.

 

COLE

Look at the effort Leon Rodez is putting in...he must be putting himself in excruciating pain by fighting against this move, but he's running on so much adrenaline that the pain may be blocked out altogether!

 

CABOOSE

Oh no, he's feeling the pain, believe me!

 

Despite the best efforts of Tha Puerto Rican, nothing will deny the challenger now. Gritting his teeth through the pain, with the ropes and escape in sight, Rodez inches forward once more. He's close now and with one final effort, he pushes forward a few more inches..

 

 

 

 

 

...reaching out his hand...

 

 

 

 

 

...and...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

..HE GRABS THE ROPES!!

 

"YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

 

Trouble is, PRL doesn't care.

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

COLE

Leon has made it to the ropes but, damnit, PRL isn't breaking the hold!! He's trying to get himself disqualified here!!

 

CABOOSE

Oh hush! PRL just can't hear the referee over these noisy LA fans, that's all.

 

Robinson lays on a count, but it's all in vain as PRL continues to hold onto The Sharpshooter...so rather than call for a DQ, Robinson takes matters into his own hands and literally pulls PRL off of the hold! That earns him cheers from the crowd, but PRL is pissed and he stalks after Robinson. Meanwhile, Rodez clutches his back in pain as he pulls himself up on the ropes, making it halfway up before Lindsay Gonzalez reaches up and starts to choke him on the middle rope!!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

Lindsay retreats as Robinson finally turns around, still looking her 'innocent' self. With Rodez across the middle rope meanwhile, PRL looks out into the crowd and mockingly signals for the 747! The crowd jeer PRL, as per usual, but this time he laughs it off as he hits the ropes and sprints across the ring. Getting to the other side, PRL grabs the top and middle ropes and swings himself around, with the 747...

 

 

 

 

... DUCKED! PRL ends up swinging all the way around and to his feet, lunging at Rodez as he gains his bearings. Rodez is waiting for him though, ducking his head and setting PRL for another Rock Bottom...

 

 

 

 

 

...BUT LINDSAY GRABS HIM BY THE ANKLE!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

COLE

DAMNIT! Someone get her OUT of here!!

 

Robinson manages to spot Lindsay this time and he quickly leans out of the ring and yells at her to stop. But all that allows Tha Puerto Rican, undetectable, to PUNT Rodez in the groin and cradle him into a hurried schoolboy rollup! Alerted by Lindsay, Robinson turns around sees the pin, diving over and making the cover...

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

PRL GRABS THE ROPES!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

COLE

NO! NOT LIKE THIS!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

COLE

NO! NO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3...

 

 

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

 

"YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

The crowd go nuts...and so does PRL, as he simply cannot believe that Rodez kicked out! Holding his head in his hands, PRL snaps to his feet and screams at referee Charles Robinson who tells him again that it was just two, leaving PRL even more distraught.

 

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

"LE - ON!"

 

Tha Puerto Rican has had enough now and after telling Robinson what he thinks of him, Puerto Rico's favourite son rolls out of the ring. Still fuming, he tugs at the ring apron as Lindsay comes over to try and calm him down. But PRL shrugs his girlfriend off, as he walks over to the timekeeper's table and snatches his 24/7 Championship! Lindsay seems confused for a moment as PRL then slides back into the ring and stands, waiting for Rodez to turn around, the challenger getting to his feet and still feeling the effects of the Sharpshooter moments earlier. Robinson doesn't seem to notice what PRL has in his hands as he encourages the two to continue wrestling, only really spotting the spinning belt as PRL runs right past him and takes a wild swing at Rodez's head...DUCKED! PRL misses with the *BELTSHOT~!* and gets hoisted up for a back suplex. As he goes up PRL hangs onto the belt, but suddenly Rodez spins him around, PRL losing control of the belt in mid-spin before he's dropped with a Blue Thunder Bomb...

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!!!!!!

 

"OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

So close! PRL is just trying to do whatever it takes to retain his title, nevermind winning this match, but Leon Rodez just will not let that go down!

 

The belt now lies on the ring apron now as Rodez gets up. The 24/7 plate spins away and catches Rodez's attention...The Silky Smooth One kicking the belt out of the ring and encouraging PRL to get back up! PRL is slow in doing so from the Blue Thunder, but Lindsay fears it's just a matter of time and she leaps to the apron in an attempt to distract Leon!

 

COLE

Again...AGAIN, Lindsay interjecting herself into this match! Robinson needs to get her the hell out of here!

 

CABOOSE

Why spoil the view...it's so...mesmerising.

 

Falling for the distraction, Rodez turns to Lindsay just as the referee does. Suddenly, Lindsay begins to regret her decision and begs off, unsure of what Leon is going to do as he advances on her. Behind him though, PRL is back up and with Rodez distracted, he charges in. Hands clasped, PRL looks for a double axehandle...but Rodez sidesteps...and PRL ALMOST runs into Lindsay, managing to stop himself just inches from clobbering his beloved girlfriend! The duo breath a big sigh of relief and PRL makes sure Lindsay is okay, before turning around...

 

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

"YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

 

...SUPERKICK!!

 

PRL goes down like a sack of potatoes and now, Leon is left face to face with The Latina Bitch!

 

COLE

Oh yeah...go ahead, knock her lights out!

 

CABOOSE

Hey, you can't advocate that sort of thing!

 

COLE

The hell I can't! She's had it coming all night and I don't think anyone would shed a tear for Lindsay if Rodez gave her one right on the jaw!

 

CABOOSE

Man you are so boned if Krista hears what you just said.

 

Lindsay tries to beg off, but Rodez is having none of it. Fist cocked, Rodez grabs Lindsay's wrist to prevent her from leaving prematurely and surveys the fans for their opinion. They wanna see Lindsay get it, right in the mouth too. So Leon obliges...AND PLACES LINDSAY IN A LONG, LINGERING, LIPLOCK!!

 

"YYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

OH YEAH! HE'S GIVING HER ONE ALRIGHT, RIGHT ON THE JAW!!

 

CABOOSE

UNHAND HER!

 

Kiss over, Leon releases Lindsay and allows her to fall back off the apron and to the floor where she pretends that she don't like it, when you know she really wants so much more. Or, maybe not. Either way, Leon is lovin' it, licking his lips and feeling mighty pleased with himself.

 

 

 

Maybe a little too pleased.

 

 

 

 

KICK!

 

*WHAM!*

 

CAPPA KILLA!!

 

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

CABOOSE

YES!! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR TOUCHING MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ!!

 

The roar of the crowd sinks to one of shock as Rodez is out. Having Stunned Rodez from out of nowhere, PRL now has just one task. Crawling over towards the challenger, PRL drapes an arm over the top of his opponent and makes the pin...

 

 

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!!!!!

 

"YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

CABOOSE

You have got to be KIDDING me!!

 

COLE

Rodez kicked out!! Rodez kicked out of the Cappa Killa!!

 

Sitting up, PRL looks in disbelief...before, slowly but surely, that disbelief morphs into a growling look etched on his face, as he angrily stands up and begins to pull Rodez back to his feet.

 

CABOOSE

Now you've done it. You've pissed off Tha Puerto Rican and now Leon Rodez, you my friend are gonna pay big time!

 

PRL drags Rodez up by the hair and wastes no time in scooping the challenger off his feet, turning him around for all his fans to see before slamming him down in the centre of the ring. Furiously, PRL then storms across the ring and exits to the apron, scaling the turnbuckles in the corner. Reaching the top, Tha Puerto Rican pulls off his elbow pad and spits down upon it before hurling it out into the crowd. A flurry of fans try to get the treasured item in the background, while PRL stands up top and suddenly soars out, giving the crowd an almighty "Up Yours" in mid-air before plummeting down with the Corporate Elbowdrop...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...NOBODY HOME!!

 

"YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

PRL grabs at his elbow, but suddenly, gets taken over with an Oklahoma roll...

 

 

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!!

 

Coming up to their feet, both men are weary but neither is backing down. Rock-punch from PRL...and a right hand from Rodez! Rock-punch from PRL! Right hand from Rodez! Rock-punch! Right hand! Rock-punch! Right hand! Rock-punch! Right hand! Right hand...right hand...right hand! Rodez is winning the slugfest and backs PRL into the ropes, sending him off for one more run across the ring. Back comes PRL and he anticipates a duck of the head by Rodez, kicking him hard in the collarbone to snap him back upright. As Rodez favours that, PRL slides himself into his opponent and sets up for one last Latin Slam...

 

 

 

 

 

...but Rodez elbows free! Groggily doing a 360, PRL comes back around and Rodez is waiting. Landing a boot to the gut, Rodez quickly snatches up the arms of Tha Puerto Rican into a double underhook, ready for the Tiger Drive...

 

 

 

 

...NO! PRL free an arm and spins out. Still with one arm locked around Leon's he pulls the challenger in, booting him and locking on a front facelock, ready to make Rodez experience a Corporate Nightmare...

 

 

 

 

 

...NO! Rodez this time spins out, landing another boot, hooking up the arms and THROWING PRL down with a Tiger Driver!!

 

"YYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

Collapsing to his knees, Rodez can't capitalise straight away. But eventually he does, slumping forward and dropping over PRL with a makeshift cover...

 

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...FOOT ON THE ROPES!!!!!!

 

"OOOOOOOHHH - BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

COLE

Wait a minute...did PRL put that foot there, or did Lindsay!?!

 

CABOOSE

Stop being so parranoid Mikey, of course he did!

 

Judging from the crowd's reaction and the fact Lindsay is hiding herself behind the ring steps, The Latina Bitch may just have had a tiny hand in PRL's miraculous save. But Rodez isn't going to concern himself over that, as he drags himself up and judges that PRL is still hurting, before exiting to the apron. There he takes a quick breather, before giving the universal signal for the '450'!!

 

COLE

Here we go!!

 

CABOOSE

Oh no...c'mon PR! Wake up!!

 

COLE

Rodez is going for the 450 and if he hits this, it's new champion time!!

 

Rodez places his feet on the bottom rope and prepares for a slow and steady climb...

 

 

 

 

 

 

...which is made even slower, as AGAIN LINDSAY GRABS HIM BY THE ANKLE!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

Rodez desperately tries to shrug Lindsay off, but Lindsay is clinging onto Leon with all she has. She knows she can't afford to let go and let her man get hit with the 450, so clings onto Rodez's leg like a leech or a limpet or something. The crowd are screaming at Robinson to do something...but luckily, at that point, Lindsay is finally kicked away! She falls to the ground while Rodez goes back to his climb, reaching the top and taking a moment to steady himself. Still PRL is out from the Tiger Driver, so Rodez sets himself up top, standing fully upright before tumbling off the top with the 450 Splash...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...CONNECTS!!!!!

 

"YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

HE HIT IT! FORGET ABOUT, IT'S OVER!!

 

The crowd go NUCLEAR as Rodez sits on his knees briefly holding his ribs, realising he has no time to waste and dropping on top of PRL...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...trouble is, PRL's foot is still draped over the bottom rope!

 

COLE

Oh no...c'mon Leon, the leg!

 

CABOOSE

Great ring presence from PRL!

 

COLE

What!?! PRL hasn't moved for about a minute and he didn't even put the foot there in the first place!

 

PRL remains uncountable and Robinson tries to tell Rodez just that. Rodez, who's simply draped over the champion, takes a while to realise it, but finally Robinson points out the leg to him. Reaching behind him, Rodez slaps PRL's leg off the ropes and again drapes himself over the motionless champion with the cover...

 

 

 

1...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2...

 

 

*DINGDINGDING!*

 

COLE

Woah...woah, wait...

 

CABOOSE

YES!

 

COLE

Oh no. No, don't tell me! Don't tell me!!

 

Robinson stops his count right on '2' and looks up to the timekeeper's table in confusion, to where Michael Buffer is standing up from his seat to confer with the referee. Rodez hasn't noticed yet seemingly, still lying over PRL. In the corner, Robinson and Buffer discuss what the deal is, while Rodez finally rolls off of PRL and sits up wondering what's going on.

 

"BULL - SHIT!"

"BULL - SHIT!"

"BULL - SHIT!"

"BULL - SHIT!"

 

Maybe he should ask the crowd, because they seem to get it.

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen...the fifteen minute time-limit has EXPIRED!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

COLE

We might get that Zero Hour riot after all, 'Boose.

 

BUFFER

The referee has thus ruled this match a draw...and, therefore, STILL your OAOAST 24/7 Champion of the WOOORRRLLD... THA PUERTO RRRRRIIIIIICCAAAAAANN!!

 

CABOOSE

YES!!

 

In despair, Rodez hangs his head and pulls himself back to his feet, disconsolate as he stands in the centre of the ring with hands on hips. Robinson tries to explain exactly what happened, while on the outside, Lindsay is rushing around the ring to retrieve the 24/7 Championship from ringside. Gleefully leaping in the air, Lindsay celebrates the 'victory' for her still just no recovering boyfriend.

 

COLE

Damnit, PRL escapes again! He was beat Caboose...he was BEAT, he was out. It would have been over if not for Lindsay Gonzalez and if not for the damn time-limit!

 

CABOOSE

Praise the man who invented time! Praise Jesus! Thank you Jesus, I knew you'd come through for him in the end.

 

COLE

Praise Jesus!?! The only person you should be praising here is Lindsay Gonzalez!

 

CABOOSE

Okay, she's probably hotter...PRAISE LINDSAY!

 

PRL drags himself up slowly on the ropes with a little help from Lindsay, who hands her man the title belt. Meanwhile, Rodez is still trying to make sense of everything that's happened.

 

"BULL - SHIT!"

"BULL - SHIT!"

"BULL - SHIT!"

"BULL - SHIT!"

 

Still the LA crowd are furious. Rodez seems more disappointed than anything, standing in the centre of the ring with his head still hung. Behind him, PR has his belt and raises it weakly for the fans, getting a chorus of boos for his trouble. Hearing the boos, Tha Puerto Rican afford himself a wry sneer...before for some reason, he turns to Rodez. And suddenly, he isn't ready to leave. Suddenly, the belt in his hands isn't just a prize...it's a weapon. Rodez slowly turns around and prepares to leave, but a sudden blur rushes towards, him, 24/7 Title belt in hand...

 

 

 

 

 

 

...SPINEBUSTAAAAA~!

 

"YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

CABOOSE

What the hell is this!?! The match is over damnit!

 

COLE

PRL tried an ambush, but I think he might have made a rather massive mista...

 

Cole stops talking (thank gawd) as Leon Rodez, unsatisfied with just stealing Hoff's move, now decides it's time to steal someone else's, standing at PRL's head and kicking his arm over his chest.

 

CABOOSE

Oh no...no, don't you DARE!

 

Lindsay daren't get back into the ring after what she recieved last time and just watches on in horror, as Rodez slowly removes his right elbow pad and skims it far out into the crowd! While the mass brawl to retrieve it starts, Rodez then hits the ropes, vaulting over PRL's prone body and coming off the ropes one more time and...PEOPLE'S ELBOW!!

 

"YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

COLE

PEOPLE'S ELBOW! The Silkiest, Smoothest Move In Sports Entertainment Today!!

 

CABOOSE

You THIEF! You dirten rotten THIEF!

 

COLE

Leon Rodez has got the last laugh on PRL...but, unfortunately, he doesn't have the 24/7 Championship...

 

CABOOSE

That's right!! You remember that you damn thief, you stole PRL's move but you'll never steal his title...NEVER!!

 

Rodez seems a little less disappointed now as he rolls from the ring, hands on hips as he leaves to a typically fantastic reception from the fans. Meanwhile in the ring, Lindsay hovers over Tha Puerto Rican and drapes the 24/7 Championship over his motionless waist, beaten but still champion.

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COLE

Michael Cole, ladies and gentlemen, here at Sofa Central with Jesse "The Body" Ventura to call our next match, the finals of the 2006 Anderson Cup!

 

VENTURA

Down to the final two. The #2 seed in the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference, the Sooner Bruisers, vs. the #4 seed in the Los Infernales Conference, the Heavenly Rockers, with Arn Anderson as special referee; the winner goes on to face Sarcastic Simon and Narcissistic Ned at AngleMania V for the titles!

 

COLE

Before we go to the ring for what promises to be a thrilling contest, let's review the Anderson Cup bracket one last time.

 

LOS INFERNALES CONFERENCE

 

#1 GPX vs. #8 Los Diablos de Fuego -- LOS DIABLOS

#4 The Heavenly Rockers vs. #5 Tha Puerto Rican & Stephen Joseph -- ROCKERS

 

#2 Thunderkid & Reject vs. #7 The South Central Militia -- TK/REJECT

#3 The Sk8ter Boiz vs. #6 NRG -- BOIZ

 

MIRACLE WEIRDNESS CONNECTION CONFERENCE

 

#1 Black T vs. #8 James Blonde & Faqu -- BLACK T

#4 Christian Wright & Bohemoth vs. #5 The Lonestar Gunslingers -- LSGS

 

#2 The Sooner Bruisers vs. #7 Glory by Anarchy -- SOONERS

#3 The Love Doctors vs. #6 Team Heyross -- HEYROSS

 

SEMI-FINALS

 

#4 Heavenly Rockers vs. #8 Los Diablos de Fuego -- ROCKERS

#3 Sk8ter Boiz vs. #2 TK & Reject -- TK/REJECT

 

#2 Sooner Bruisers vs. #6 Team Heyross -- SOONERS

#4 Lonestar Gunslingers vs. #1 Black T -- LSGS

 

CONFERENCE FINALS

 

LI: #4 Heavenly Rockers vs. #2 TK & Reject -- ROCKERS

MWC: #2 Sooner Bruisers vs. #5 Lonestar Gunslingers -- SOONERS

 

FINALS, ZERO HOUR

 

The Heavenly Rockers vs. The Sooner Bruisers

 

VENTURA

There you see it, the big upset in the first round, the #1 seed and last year's winners The GPX being eliminated by YOUR favorite tag team, Michael Cole, Los Diablos de Fuego.

 

COLE

Of course, YOUR favorite tag team, Jesse, Black T eliminated in the semi-finals by the Lone Star Gunslingers.

 

VENTURA

Yeah, but as Black T proved tonight, that was a fluke. And after Thursday night they'll be the ones going to AngleMania to face the tag team champions of the world.

 

COLE

No, OAOAST officials nixed that plan.

 

VENTURA

Why?!

 

COLE

Because the winner of the Anderson Cup gets the title shot at AngleMania. No ifs, ands or buts.

 

VENTURA

What kind of a decision is that? Could you imagine Congress pulling back on a deal?

 

COLE

You just never know with the government. But let's talk about the finals. Arn Anderson said it Thursday night, it will be the power of the Sooner Bruisers vs. the speed of the Heavenly Rockers. But with what transpired between the Heavenly Rockers and the New New Midnight Express just 3 days ago, with Logan Mann being spiked piledriven on the concrete floor, how does that change the match for him and Synth?

 

VENTURA

I think it does a number of things, the biggest being if Mann alters his wrestling style in any way. In my opinion, it would be a mistake for him to do so. You gotta go with what brought you here. He can't let the fact he's coming in banged up effect the way he works. Tonight might be the closest he and Synth EVER get to a tag team title match. You get hurt, hey, you got a little over 30 days to heal up the best you can before going on there again, so you gotta let everything fly tonight.

 

COLE

And what about the Sooner Bruisers. What's their strategy heading into this match?

 

VENTURA

One thing and one thing only: target the neck. The guy's coming in telling you he's injured, they can't let fan opinion decide whether or not to attack the neck. If the tables were turned, you know the Heavenly Rockers would go after their injury. As they say, do unto others before they do unto you.

 

COLE

In other words, win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat?

 

VENTURA

Absolutely.

 

COLE

Let's go up to Michael Buffer.

 

* DING * DING * DING * DING *

 

BUFFER

Wrestling fans, the following contest is the finals of the 2006 Anderson Cup! It is set for one fall and there MUST BE a winner. So are you ready? Los Angeles, California, ARE YOU RRRREADY?

 

"YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

 

BUFFER

Then for the thousands in attendence and the millions watching around the world... ladies and gentlemen... LLLLLLLLLETS GET READY TO RUUUUUMMMBLLLLLLLLLE!

 

zerohourANDERSON06.jpg

 

The OAOAST Legends theme accompanies the arrival of special referee Arn Anderson, complete with striped shirt and black jeans, holding up the 4 fingers as he walks down the ramp.

 

BUFFER

Introducing first, the special guest referee...from the state of Minnesota, he is a former 4-time NWA and WCW tag team champion of the wooooooorld and the longest reigning WCW World Television Champion, a founding member of the legendary 4 Horsemen; he is "The Enforcer" ARN ANNNNNNDERRRRRRRSONNNNNNN!

 

COLE

Many of the greats of professional wrestling have come from the state of Minnesota, including my broadcast colleague who just happened to be the Governer of said state for 4 years. As we go back to Michael Buffer.

 

The OAOAST Legends theme fades in favor the Edgar Winter classic "Frankenstein." The Sooner supports are in full voice as the howls start ringing through the Staples Center. Howling out from the back and roaming all over the stage like the crazed Pyscho Gremlin he is, Frankie runs circles around his big brother as the Man of Tomorrow flexes the "byte-cips."

 

BUFFER

Now the finalists in the 2006 Anderson Cup. First, from Oklahoma City, weighing a combined weight of 525 pounds... THE SOONER BRUUUUUUUUISERSSSSSSS!

 

VENTURA

My pick to win it all, right there.

 

Frankie runs in place inside the ring while Frank poses on the middle turnbuckle. The Pyscho Gremlin begins nawing on the top rope as the familiar tune of Nirvana's "Heart-Shaped Box" blares over the loud speakers. The crowd EXPLODES as Synth and Logan appear in their HALO AND ANGEL WINGS!

 

COLE

Would you take a look this! The Heavenly Rockers have gone old school, perhaps for luck.

 

VENTURA

And luck they're gonna need against the Sooner Bruisers.

 

The leather pants replaced by virgin white tights, an airbrushed drawing of Trump Plaza on the back with the words "Right Here" running down the right pant leg and "Right Now" (they're fans of all kinds of music) down the left pant leg to symbolize tonight is the start of their quest to win the World Tag Team Title.

 

BUFFER

And their opponents...hailing from Sin City, Las Vegas, Nevada...at a total of 430 pounds, the greatest rock 'n' wrestling band of all time... THE HEAVENLYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOCKERRRRRRRSSSS!

 

COLE

This is the first time we've gotten a chance to see Logan today. He and Synth refused all media requests for interviews. The Heavenly Rockers are prepared for tonight's match. The biggest match of both team's careers.

 

VENTURA

Until AngleMania. But yeah, Mann doesn't look that bad right now. Let's see how long that lasts once the match gets underway.

 

COLE

It's also important to note Logan is not wearing a neckbrace, which he was during the week to support his neck. I know his girlfriend Holly-Wood is watching on from her home. And we're just about set to go. Sit back and enjoy the 2006 Anderson Cup Finals!

 

* DING DING *

 

The bell has sounded, the entrance attire is removed, only two men in the ring and they are "The Pyscho Gremlin" Frankie Frankensteiner and Synth Esizer. They start with a good luck handshake and then lockup! Synth quickly grabs a side headlock, then is fired off to the ropes and bulldozed by a shoulderblock. Frankie makes eye contact with the fallen Synth, then hits the near side. Synth stays down and turns over on his stomach as the Pyscho Gremlin comes running at him, only to have Frankie drop down and apply a rear waistlock. Synth sits up and out into a hammerlock. Standing switch into a waistlock takedown by Frankie, who twirls around the back of Synth before applying a front facelock. The Synthmeister gets up to a vertical base and uses a double-leg takedown to ground the Oklahoma native, somersaulting on top afterwards and cradling the legs for the first pin attempt of the match.

 

ONE...

 

KICKOUT!

 

Too early. Synth knows his team has to keep the Sooners on the defensive for most of the match, not wanting to get caught with a big blow that would cost them their chance at tag team gold at AngleMania. But Synth does get caught with a big blow, after whipping Frankie to the ropes and setting low too soon. GUTWRENCH POWERBOMB!

 

VENTURA

The match may be over before it even started, Michael Cole.

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

KICKOUT!

 

The Sooners know what Synth and Logan do, that they want to remain in the driver's seat. They want to strike big and end the match as soon as possible, but if that doesn't happen then they'll finish them off slowly and dish out heavy pain in the process. Frankie stuns Synth with a kick to the gut, then shoots him to the ropes. Like Synth before him, Frankie sets too soon and gets caught with a backslide!

 

ONE...

 

TW-- KICKOUT!

 

COLE

Both men with some butterflies to start. As we said, it's without question the biggest match of their careers. The winner goes on to face the tag champions at the biggest show of the year. It gets no better than that, fans.

 

The pace quickens as Frankie charges at Synth, who grabs the outstretched arm of the Pyscho Gremlin and swings around him, hooking the free arm with his legs for a crucifix. But Frankie blocks the pinning combination by hurling Synth in the air and giving him a gut-buster! Synth's legs buckle from the impact but remains on his feet. Not for long, however, as the Gremlin hits a Soonerline!

 

"OW, OW, OW, OWWWWWWW!"

 

VENTURA

And that's exactly how Synth is feeling just about now.

 

ONE...

 

TWO-- KICKOUT!

 

Just as quickly the pace quicken, it slows down with a reverse chinlock. Synth grabs Frankie around the neck by both hands and pulls himself up, then connects with a series of elbows to the ribs to free himself. The Synthmeister picks up speed by hitting the ropes and takes Frankie down with a cross bodyblock for the...

 

ONE...

 

TW-- KICKOUT!

 

VENTURA

Each team with early nearfalls. But notice how Frankie keeps kicking out at one-and-a-half whereas he's had Synth down for the two count on more than one ocassion. That's why I'm pickin' the Sooner Bruisers. They can take you out at any second. Very tough to combat. Beautiful armdrag by the Synthmeister.

 

As Jesse says, Synth takes Frankie over with a beautiful armdrag and catches him again on the way back up with a dropkick. The Psycho Gremlin no-sells the blow and runs right into another armdrag takeover. Synth employs a hit-and-run tatic, hitting a number of running leg lariats until being caught in midair and slammed straight down into the mat!

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

KICKOUT!

 

Frankie scoopes Synth up by the hair, but Synth crawls between the legs and rolls Frankie up in a school boy!

 

ONE...

 

TW-- KICKOUT!

 

COLE

Again, Frankie kicks out at one-and-a-half. Synth nearly trips over his own feet as he hits the ropes. Spinning back elbow knocks the tough Sooner off his feet. Here's the cover.

 

ONE...

 

TW-- KICKOUT!

 

Frankie lunges towards Synth, who delivers a jawbreaker that sends the Pyscho Gremlin reeling to his corner, allowing both men to tag out to their partners. Frank and Logan lock eyes as they step into the ring and aggressively lockup, tossing and turning each other in the ropes. Special referee Arn Anderson tells them to break or he'll start the 5 count, but it doesn't come to that as both competitors do break. But not before the Man of Tomorrow gives Logan a subtle nudge! Both men engage in another rough collar-and-elbow tie-up, resulting in a Frank Frankensteiner T-Bone suplex!

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

KICKOUT!

 

Logan doesn't even make it up to his feet before being grabbed by Frank, who shoots him to the ropes. But Mann telegraphs Frank's next move, leapfrogging over the Man of Tomorrow and leveling him with a perfectly executed leg lariat!

 

ONE...

 

TW-- KICKOUT!

 

Frank reverses Logan's Irish whip and misses a Soonerline on the rebound, only to get caught with a cross bodyblock that sends he and Logan tumbling recklessly over the top rope to the floor! Frank pops up to his feet and shoves Logan, who returns in kind. Their respective partners rush over to clam the situation.

 

VENTURA

A picture is worth a thousands words, Michael Cole. Tell me these guys don't hate each other. They've been saying all the right things in public, but all 4 men hate each other.

 

COLE

The tempers flaring out here on the floor.

 

VENTURA

And with good reason. There's A LOT on the line.

 

Synth and Frankie defuse the situation outside as the legal men return to the ring. The Man of Tomorrow licks his hands before raising his right hand in the air, calling for a test of strength. Logan accepts the challenge, locking his hands together with Frank. Frank uses his height and weight advantage to bring Mann to his knees. Logan struggles to get up to his feet, his arms and legs buckling from the pressure.

 

COLE

Logan in trouble here.

 

VENTURA

And he only has himself to blame. Too much ego and not enough brains.

 

"LO-GAN!"

"LO-GAN!"

"LO-GAN!"

 

Mann attempts to rise up again, and he does, successfully countering with a monkey flip. Their hands still locked together, Logan floats on top of Frank who puts the knees up to prevent Mann from coming down on him. Frank returns to a vertical base and kicks Logan in the gut, then double underhooks the arms. TIGER BOMB...COUNTERED INTO A FRANKENSTEINER!!!

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!"

"YEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!"

 

COLE

Amazing counter move. Out of nowhere, Logan hit Frank with his own Frankensteiner!

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

TH-- NO!

 

VENTURA

The Pyscho Gremlin with the save as the Heavenly Rockers get their first two count of the night on the Sooner Bruisers.

 

A disoriented Frank is placed in an arm wringer and taken to the corner of the Heavenly Rockers. Synth accepts the tag, and kicks Frank in the arm. Synth cranks down on the arm following another arm wringer. The Heavenly Rockers use a series of quick tags to attack Frank's arm with a number of double-axehandles off the top. Back to the arm wringer. The Man of Tomorrow responds with a devastating forearm smash to the face. Frank shakes the arm to get the blood flowing, then rams Synth into the turnbuckle. He uses the healthier arm to SLAP Synth across the chest, sending shockwaves and plently of "WHOOOOOs" throughout the Staples Center. Frank whips the Synthmeister to the far corner and charges in, driving the shoulder into the midsection and then throwing Synth to the mat. The man dubbed the "Big, Bad Rebooty Daddy" by his freakoziods continues to work on his arm, massaging it to bring it back to full strength. Frank hits the far side as Synth kneels up, and leapfrogs over the incoming Sooner Bruiser. The Man of Tomorrow counters Synth's hiptoss attempt with a fireman's carry takeover into a top wristlock.

 

VENTURA

Beautiful counter to the hiptoss. You know Frank has done his homework, going after the arm that's been broken twice in two years.

 

COLE

Thanks to the New New Midnight Express, whom the winner of tonight's match will meet at AngleMania V, provided Sarcastic Simon and Narcissistic Ned are still the champions heading in.

 

Synth puts the boots under Frank's chin, trying to kick him off but Frank holds on to the overhead wristlock.

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

Synth gets his shoulders off the mat, as he continues to think of a way to escape from the clutches of Frank. The Synthmeister rolls onto his back to lessen the pressure, then grabs Frank's tights and stuns everyone in attendence as he lifts Frank up in the air in an inverted suplex position. But instead of slamming the Oklahoma native to the mat, Synth falls back and hotshots Frank gut-first on the top rope! With Frank straddling the top Synth springs off the ropes and nails the Man of Tomorrow with a running knee to the side of the head, knocking the OAOAST superstar to the floor! After an exchange is made, Logan Mann brings Frank up on the apron and suplexes him into the ring.

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

KICKOUT!

 

The Heavenly Rockers with a quick tag. Irish whip, and a double back elbow knocks the big man off his feet. Following a bodyslam, Synth connects with a second rope FLYING ELBOW!

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

KICKOUT!

 

Another quick tag made by the Heavenly Rockers. Logan and Synth front facelock Frank and take him over with a double-team suplex. Logan ascends to the heavens and comes off the top with a big splash...BUT FRANK GETS THE KNEES UP AND MAKES THE TAG!

 

"OW, OW, OW, OW, OWWWWWWWWWW!"

 

The Pyscho Gremlin with a Soonerline! Synth enters and gets wiped out by a Soonerline as well. Frankie whips Logan to the ropes and hits a POWERSLAM!

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

THR-- KICKOUT!

 

Frankie scoopes Logan up and fires him back to the ropes. He misses a Soonerline as Logan baseball slides through his legs and locks on a SLEEPER HOLD! Frankie rams Logan repeatedly in the corner to break the sleeper but is unsuccessful. Despite his best efforts Frankie begins to go down, dropping to a knee. Arn Anderson raises the arm up and lets it fall.

 

ONE!

 

He raises the arm again.

 

TWO!

 

COLE

One more time and it's over.

 

Arm goes up. Arm comes dow...NO! Arn wavies off the count, signaling no submission. Frankie lifts Logan on his back and rams in the corner, but he still won't let go. Again into the corner. Nothing. One more time in the corner, but Logan releases the sleeper and lets Frankie hit the turnbuckles himself, then...

 

* WHAM *

 

...drills him with a wicked left hook! Logan hooks the near leg.

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

THREE-- NOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

VENTURA

Foot on the rope!

 

COLE

What a match we're witnessing. Logan nailed Frankie with that wicked left hook, but Frankie was too close to the ropes. Tag made. Synth now the legal man.

 

Irish whip by the Heavenly Rockers. They miss a double clothesline and get slaughtered on the rebound by a Soonerline from the Pyscho Gremlin! Logan rolls out onto the ramp as the Man of Tomorrow is tagged back in. Synth rises to his feet and gets kicked in the gut by Frank, which is followed up by a TIGER BOMB! Logan is next to feel the wrath of Frank, getting caught diving into the ring from the ramp and is elevated into the air, landing hard on the mat. Frank brings Synth back to his feet and fires him off to the ropes. TILT-A-WHIRL SLAM!

 

VENTURA

Uh-oh. The Synthmeister is real trouble now. You know what's comin' up next, Michael Cole.

 

COLE

As does everyone in the Staples Center.

 

To the ropes goes Synth while up in the air goes Frank. FRANKENSTEINER...COUNTERED INTO A SIT OUT POWERBOMB!!!

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!"

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

THREE-- NO!

 

Frankie breaks up the pin. Synth brings Frank over to the Heavenly Rockers corner in a front facelock, and tags Logan. Mann with a double-axehandle off the top down onto the back of the Man of Tomorrow. He chops the big Sooner down with more double-axehandle smashes to the back, then shoots him to the ropes and connects with a leg lariat. Mann drops the leg across the chest before making the cover.

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

KICKOUT!

 

Logan lifts Frank up for a back suplex, only to have him slide over and deliver an inverted DDT!

 

VENTURA

Now we'll see how cozy the Sooners and the Heavenly Rockers are. Will they focus on the neck?

 

COLE

That neck injured Thursday night. The Man of Tomorrow with the cover!

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

THR-- NO!

 

* TAG *

 

Big elbow across the chest of Logan. The Pyscho Gremlin cradles the leg.

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

KICKOUT!

 

The crowd gasps as Logan is placed in a standing headscissors, then breathe a sigh of relief as Frankie picks him up in a Canadian backbreaker...but Logan slips and slides, pulling Frankie down with a sunset flip!

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

Frankie rolls through and charges Mann, only to run into a monkeyflip. Logan somersaults to his corner and tags Synth. Springboard clothesline knocks the Pyscho Gremlin off his feet.

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

KICKOUT!

 

The Synthmeister quickly goes up to the top and launches a missle dropkick square in the sternum!

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

NO!

 

Running on pure adreanline Synth is a bit timid with his next month, which ultimately costs him. He skips over Frankie and runs under a Soonerline, and now with the Pyscho Gremlin rumbling towards him he tries to leapfrog over...BUT GETS POWERSLAMMED IN MID-MOVE!!!

 

VENTURA

Whoa, big power bodyslam, a Sooner trademark!

 

COLE

Arn Anderson with the count.

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

THR-- KICKOUT!

 

Halfway through the ropes the Man of Tomorrow says that was a 3. Arn gestures "2" with his index and middle fingers. Frankie scoopes Synth up in a Canadian backbreaker and rams him into the turnbuckles, then shoves him upright and hurls him off the top with a capture head-and-arms suplex!

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

THRE-- NO!

 

"YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

 

Mann with the save, but it Synth who winds up paying for his partner's sins. Synth kicks his arms and legs as Frankie applies more pressure to the DRAGON SLEEPER he's clamped on. Arn asks Synth if he wants to quit, but the answer is obviously no. Synth repeatedly knees the Pyscho Gremlin in the face to break face, but that isn't enough. More knee strikes follow and Frankie still doesn't let go. Logan takes matters into his own hands, coming in and wailing away on Frankie. That brings in Frank who shoves Mann away. The two exchange heated words and SLAPS before slugging it out to the delight of the crowd!

 

"YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

 

Frankie breaks the sleeper to attack Logan. The Sooners double-team Mann while Arn tries to regain order and Synth remains down. They whip Mann to the ropes, only to get drilled by a pair of Heavenly Rockers dropkicks after Logan ducks a Soonerline! Synth picks Frankie off the mat and has his Irish whipped reversed, sending him running into the corner, but he moves out of the way as Frankie charges in! The Pyscho Gremlin bounces straight back out of the corner and into a hangman's neckbreaker!

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

KICKOUT!

 

Synth tags Logan before finishing Frankie off with a snap suplex. Slingshot legdrop by Mann.

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

KICKOUT!

 

With Frankie reeling, Logan calls for Percussion/DDT. He sets Frankie up, but the Pyscho Gremlin counters with a release overhead suplex, only to have Mann land on his feet and nail him with PERCUSSION as he turns around!

 

COLE

He got it! It's over!

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

THREE!

 

* DING DING DING *

 

 

NO!

 

The bell rung in the minds of fans around the world, but not where it counts -- the ring -- as the Man of Tomorrow dove into the ring and broke the count up just in the nick of time. Frankie rolls onto his stomach to prevent himself form getting pinned, but it leaves him prone to the side headlock.

 

VENTURA

Mann giving himself a quick breather while continuing to wear down the Pyscho Gremlin. But I gotta go back to that last pin, I thought it was over once Mann hit Percussion. How Frankie kicked out of that I don't know.

 

COLE

You weren't the only one who thought it was over, so did I and millions of fans worldwide, but it was only two.

 

VENTURA

And 7/8s, right? Oh, I forgot...wrong announcer. You guys in Stamford look alot alike now. That wasn't the case in my day. You'd never confuse Monsoon and McMahon.

 

Frankie rises to his feet and folds Logan up like an accordion with a vicious backdrop driver! Fortunately for Mann, he took a bulk of the concussion on his shoulder rather that his neck. Still, he's left flat on his back as is Frankie, prompting Arn Anderson to count both men out.

 

1...

2...

3...

4...

5...

 

Logan is the first to stir, eying his partner in the corner, chants of "LO-GAN" fueling his desire to make the tag.

 

6...

7...

8...

9...

 

Mann reaches his corner, but Frank steps in and grabs the referee's attention as Logan makes the tag! But Arn disallows it because he didn't see it, leaving Synth and his supporters frustrated.

 

VENTURA

Excellent call by referee Arn Anderson. The rulebook states you gotta see a tag to allow it. If the Heavenly Rockers spent more time reading the rulebook instead of writing music maybe they'd know that.

 

Frankie wraps his arms around Logan's torso, looking for a belly-to-belly, but Logan fights out of it with quick knee strikes to the ribs and hits Frankie with his own belly-to-belly suplex!

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

KICKOUT!

 

Logan waves in his partner, and the Heavenly Rockers shoot Frankie to the ropes. Double-team back bodydrop. Arn corners Synth to tell him to get out of the ring, leaving the Man of Tomorrow open to blindside Mann with a stiff forearm shot the back of the neck! Frank picks Logan off the mat for some form of a vertical suplex, only to have Anderson rush over and threaten disqualification if he's not out of the ring by the count of 5. Frank begs to differ, dropping Logan and slapping his hands together to illustrate a tag was made. Arn says he didn't see it and the referee has final say, and he says to get out of the ring. While Arn and Frank continue their arguement Mann crawls to the corner undected and climbs to the top. Frank shouts an expletive at Arn and slaps the top rope in protest of the call, causing Logan to slip off the top and smack his head on the canvas!

 

VENTURA

Oh, Frank inadvertently caused Mann to fall off the top and drive his head into the mat!

 

COLE

The last thing Logan needed was to aggravate the neck injury he sustained in an ambush from the World tag team champions just 3 nights ago on HeldDOWN~!

 

The crowd watch in horror as Logan lies in a fetal position, clutching his neck, being attended to by Arn Anderson. Arn asks Logan if he wishes to continue, but doesn't get an answer as Frank is legally tagged in and delivers a running stomp to the head! Logan writhes in pain as Frank drops a series of knees across the neck, then is rammed into the top turnbuckle. Trapped in the corner Logan is helpless as Frank unleashes a barrage of...

 

* CHOP *

 

"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

...chops, forearm smashes and kneelifts. The Man of Tomorrow throws Mann to the mat and drops a big elbow before going for the cover.

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

KICKOUT!

 

Like a sack of potatos, Logan is placed over the shoulder of Frank. The big Sooner walks over to his corner with Mann in toll, and tags the Pyscho Gremlin, who gleefully comes off the top with an elbow drop as Frank releases Mann.

 

COLE

Oh, my! Don't you think the Sooner Bruisers are being a little too aggressive, Jesse?

 

VENTURA

This is professional wrestling! If something happens during a match that you can take advantage of, you damn well take advantage of it. Besides, we all know the Sooner Bruisers are known for their rough, high-impact style of wrestling.

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

THR-- NO!

 

A roar goes up in the Staples Center as Synth makes the save. Frank practically begs his baby brother, Frankie, to tag him. Which he does. The Man of Tomorrow steps through the ropes with a swagger, seemingly enjoying the sight of Logan looking up in the lights. A helpless Mann is scooped up and dropped throat-first on the top rope, snapping his neck straight back. Frank delivers another big elbow across the sternum.

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

NO!

 

Synth again with the save. The Sooners are beginning to get irked, but they stay on the task at hand. Frank isolates Mann near the Sooner corner with a half-nelson, driving the knee into the spine of the back as he tilts the neck down with his right hand. Logan not only has to fight off Frank but the question of quitting from referee Arn Anderson as well. He makes it clear he has no intention of quitting, as he grabs Frank by the back of his neck and rises up to the roar of the crowd and the chants of his name. Frank puts an end to the rally by hitting a HALF-NELSON SUPLEX!

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!"

 

VENTURA

Was that ever nasty. Mann landing on the back of his neck once again.

 

COLE

That--That did it. He's not kicking out of this. Helluva effort.

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

The boo birds come out as Frank places a knee on Mann's chest and flexes his "byte-cips" for the cover.

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

THREE-- NO!

 

"YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

 

Cole was right. Logan wouldn't kickout, but his partner would make yet another save, shoving Frank to the mat. Arn Anderson quickly gets between Frank and Synth to keep the fireworks from exploding, and a good job he does, except for missing the Sooner Bruisers hotshot Mann again throat-first on the top rope as he accompanies Synth back to the corner.

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

COLE

Why the hell would they do that?!

 

VENTURA

Because they wanna win!

 

COLE

Yeah, but did they really need to drop the guy on his neck AGAIN, DAMNIT?!

 

VENTURA

It's like I told you, you take advantage of the situtation you're presented in the ring. If the guy's coming in with a bad knee, you attack the knee. Simple as that. Every wrestler knows the risk of coming into a match injured, but it's a risk you take to move up the ladder for a shot at the gold and more money.

 

* TAG *

 

Frank hoists Mann up on his shoulders, their backs facing the corner as the Pyscho Gremlin scales to the top. But just as Frankie leaps to complete the top rope bulldog, Logan lunges forward and surprises the Man of Tomorrow with the Owen Hart special...VICTORY ROLL!

 

* BOOM *

 

The sound of Frankie's body hitting the mat reverberates throughout the Staples Center as Arn Anderson counts...

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

THREE!

 

"YEEEEE-- OOOOOOOOOOOOOH!"

 

NO!

 

Arn pops up signaling two. What results next is a Soonerline so powerful Mann 360s in the air! Frank follows up with a belly-to-belly suplex into a REAR-NAKED CHOKE!

 

VENTURA

Now wouldn't this be a tragedy, if Logan lost his ability to sing? At least it would deflect the attention from him quitting.

 

COLE

He hasn't quit...

 

VENTURA

Yet.

 

COLE (CONT'D)

...and he won't. The opportunity to wrestle for the tag team titles at the biggest show of the year against his most hated rivals means too much to him and Synth.

 

Logan turns over on Frank for a quick count of...

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

...before Frank shifts his weight back to the side, allowing Mann to use their momentum to roll to the ropes! But before Logan can reach out to grab the ropes, Frank becomes dead weight and stays on top of him while swiping the arm to keep it away from the ropes. Frank pounds his massive forearm into the back of the head!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

COLE

WHY, DAMNIT, WHY?!

 

The freakoziods suger daddy wails away on the back of the neck with vicious forearm smashes. He drags Logan by the legs to the center of the ring and locks on a CAMEL CLUTCH!

 

"LET'S GO LO-GAN!" *clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*

"LET'S GO LO-GAN!" *clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*

"LET'S GO LO-GAN!" *clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*

 

COLE

You hear the chants of "Let's go Logan" in the background.

 

VENTURA

Pretty soon it's gonna be "Let's take Logan to the hospital."

 

LIVE

 

ZERO HOUR

STAPLES CENTER

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA

 

COLE

We're coming to you live from the Staples Center in L.A. for Zero Hour. Michael Cole and Jesse "The Body" Ventura calling the action from Sofa Central, and you're watching the finals of the 2006 Anderson Cup, with the winner going on to face Sarcastic Simon and Narcissistic Ned at AngleMania V.

 

VENTURA

And right now it ain't looking like the Heavenly Rockers will be that team to compete for the tag team championship of the world at AngleMania V, Michael Cole. The Man of Tomorrow sitting down on that camel clutch. Logan Mann's got nowhere to go. He can either quit or suffer a broken neck.

 

Logan makes one last push with Synth and the fans cheering him on. He gets on all fours and, holding onto the legs of Frank, rises to his feet with Frank on his back, and falls straight back with the Man of Tomorrow! The roar of the crowd still buzzing in the background as Logan and Frank slowly get up to their feet and begin throwing haymakers, with Mann getting the best of his bigger and stronger opponent. But Frank reverses his Irish whip, sending Logan running to the ropes where he uses the top rope as a springboard to nail Frank with a reverse crossbody...but Frank catches him and counters with a vertical suplex into a sit-out tombstone piledriver/Steiner Screwdriver/Owen Driver '97, a/k/a 69 DRIVER!!!

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!"

 

COLE

My!

 

Arn Anderson brushes Frank aside and immediately attends to Logan, as does Synth who sees his partner/best friend lying motionless in the ring. Frank keeps trying to pin Logan, just to have Anderson keep pushing him back. Frankie enters the ring to see what's going on. Arn orders both Synth and Frankie out of the ring as EMTs begin making their way from the back. The screen cuts to a wideshot as Frank leans over to share a brief conversation...AND GETS ROLLED UP!

 

ONE...

 

TWO...

 

THREE!!!

 

* DING DING DING *

 

The fans aren't sure what to think at first, then ERUPT as Arn raises the hands of Logan and Synth. Frank gets rough with Arn, backing him into the corner and cussing him out as the Heavenly Rockers embrace. Frankie restrains his brother while getting his words in as well. The Sooner Bruisers leave the area in disgust.

 

VENTURA

What the hell just happened?!

 

COLE

Loga Mann was playing possum! He suckered in Frank.

 

VENTURA

What kind of a dirty tatic is that? Pretending your seriously injured just to get the 1-2-3?

 

COLE

He IS injured, but I can only assume he hammed it up at the end.

 

VENTURA

Well, of course he hammed it up at the end. He played with everybody's emotions, including mine. I thought the man was hurt. Now that I've had sometime to reflect on it, yeah, it was rather clever. I mean, it doesn't take too much to fool those two Okies. But Mann still played with people's emotions. In fact, since I'm supposed to interview the winners I'll gonna go ask him about it right now. The Coach and Caboose will be coming back to join you for commentary...

 

COLE

Don't remind me.

 

VENTURA (CONT'D)

...so until next time, it's been your pleasure, Michael Cole.

 

A euphoric atomsphere greets Jesse Ventura as he enters the ring along with OAOAST representive Terry Taylor, as well as special referee Arn Anderson who remains in the ring for the presentation.

 

COLE

Jesse "The Body" Ventura going up to interview the Heavenly Rockers, the 2006 Anderson Cup champions. Little did he know the controversary that would surround it. And it's controversial if you're the Sooner Bruisers or a fan of theirs. It might be morally and ethically wrong to fake an injury, but there's nothing illegal about what Logan did. Let's go to to Jesse "The Body" Ventura with the trophy presentation.

 

VENTURA

All right, Michael Cole. What an Anderson Cup it was, and now I'm here with the 2006 champions...the Heavenly Rockers, along with "The Enforcer" Arn Anderson and the OAOAST's Terry Taylor to present the Anderson Cup trophy!

 

TERRY

Thank you, Jesse. Synth, Logan, on behalf of the OAOAST and Arn Anderson, I'm pleased to present you with the trophy that symbolizes the Heavenly Rockers as the 2006 Anderson Cup champions. Congratulations!

 

"YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

 

Handshakes all around before Terry and Arn present the AC trophy, a golden statue of Double A giving the famous throat-slash, to the Heavenly Rockers. Synth and Logan send the crowd into a frenzy as they proudly hold up the trophy. Terry and Arn quitely exit the ring to give all the spotlight to the Heavenly Rockers.

 

VENTURA

Helluva match, guys. Congratulations are in order. But you know, being the man who tells it like it is, I gotta question the way you guys won. I mean, the way the Man of Tomorrow spiked you head-first into the canvas, Michael Cole and I thought you were seriously hurt, Logan. Then you sucker in the big Sooner for the 1-2-3. In a sport where you're always faced with the possibily of serious injury, don't you think faking an injury such as a broken neck, especially when the referee in the match was forced to retire because of a neck injury, was a bit too much?

 

LOGAN

I'm sure some people feel the same way you do, Jesse, but I was fighting for my life in there. I didn't know how much longer I could last when Frank had me in the rear-naked choke. It felt like an anaconda choking me out, man. The man's got freakish strength. But people shouldn't lose sight of how great a team the Sooner Bruisers are, the toughest tag team I can honestly say the Heavenly Rockers have ever faced. One match with them leaves you feeling like you just wrestled 1,000. You wouldn't believe how sore I feel right now. But there's some people I'd like to thank. First and foremost are our fans...

 

"YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

 

LOGAN (CONT'D)

...for continuing to rock 'n' roll with the Heavenly Rockers through the ups and downs. But most of all, there's one sexy lady watching not too far from here that Synth and I really want to thank, and that's you, HOLLY-WOOD!

 

"HOLLY!"

"HOLLY!"

"HOLLY!"

 

LOGAN

It might not show all the time, but, baby, you mean the world to me. I promised you we'd come back and bring home the gold. And we're halfway there, baby. There's only ONE more obstacle left in our way and that's our old friends, the NNMX.

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

LOGAN

Heh. You're worst nightmare just came true. You sent the SCM to take us out -- we're still here. You tried to intimidate us, we came back for more. And now, at the biggest spectale of the year, AngleMania, we meet for the final time. And I say final time because there won't be anything left of the New New Midnight Express after AngleMania!

 

SYNTH

You bitches has taken our blood, my Mann's lady, now it's time for us to collect and we ain't gonna use no goddamn calling card! We's gonna take yo' belts, fools! The Sinnin' 'Cross the World tour ends at AngleMania. You is the only persons standing in front of us delivering to Miss Holly the promise we's promise her, the tag team title gold. And nothing's gonna stop us now!

 

The Heavenly Rockers hold up the trophy one last time as "Heart-Shaped Box" cues up.

 

VENTURA

There you have it. The winners of the 2006 Anderson Cup, the HEAVENLY RRRRROOOOOOOCKERRRRRRSSSSSS!

 

The SOONER BRUISERS return and shove the Heavenly Rockers to the ground before SMASHING the trophy in righteous indignation, SHATTERING it into a thousand pieces. Security storm the ring to keep the peace, the crowd showing the Sooners with boos as they're escorted backstage, leaving the Heavenly Rockers standing over the scattered pieces of their trophy in the ring.

 

COLE

Poor sportsmanship on the part of the Sooner Bruisers. I know how badly they wanted to win the Anderson Cup and the shot at the tag titles at AngleMania, but their behavior tonight is uncalled for. Good ol' J.R. is a good friend of theirs and I'm sure he, too, is disappointed in their behavior. That doesn't change the fact the Heavenly Rockers will head to AngleMania to face the New New Midnight Express for the World Tag Team Championship. Our main event is coming up next, ladies and gentlemen, but let's first go to Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura for some final comments.

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SCHIAVONE

What an explosive situtation we've just seen. Obviously the Sooner Bruisers are tremendously disappointed with the outcome of their match. Jesse, you were there when it all went down, your take on the situation.

 

VENTURA

The Sooners were just venting their anger. Could they have gone about it a different way, absolutely. But you can't blame them for being upset. You talking about snatching a win out of the jaws of defeat, that's exactly what the Heavenly Rockers did.

 

SCHIAVONE

I'm sure we'll find out more this Thursday night on HeldDOWN~!, but the time has come for our final match of the evening. Christian Wright defends his HI-YAH Championship against Zack Malibu. Lots of bragging rights involved, with each fraction wanting to gain the upper hand heading into AngleMania.

 

VENTURA

You gotta wonder how good to go Christian Wright is. Everybody saw what that floozy Alix Maria Spezia and her illegal alien friends did to him Thursday night. I bet Zack Malibu called in a favor to his buddy.

 

SCHIAVONE

Wait just a minute. Are you siding with the Upstarts?!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

VENTURA

Listen, little man, I don't care which side wins because I'll still get paid no matter what. You know, getting sent home might be a blessing in disguse, because then I wouldn't have to work with you anymore! Now excuse me. It's time for me to go hang around MY people.

 

Jesse walks off the set to chants of his name.

 

SCHIAVONE

Michael Cole, take it away.

 

COLE

It has come down to this. It's main event time tonight, and it's a match that favors one participant in particular. It all started several weeks ago, when charter Upstart members Scotty Static and Johnny Jax verbally assaulted the duo of James Blonde and Faqu, targetting their home promotion of HI-YAH, our Japanese affiliate, in particular. HI-YAH officials were understandably upset by the slander, and a compromise was made that instead of the OAOAST World Title being on the line in tonight's main event, that Peter Knight would have a night off, and instead Christian Wright would defend the HI-YAH Heavyweight belt against an opponent chosen by HI-YAH officials. That man turned out to be Zack Malibu, the sworn enemy of the Upstarts, which no doubt angered everyone in that group.

 

COACH

That ain't the half of it.

 

COLE

However, Axel decided to turn this negative into a positive, using the loophole that while HI-YAH booked the opponent for Wright, they couldn't book the match. So Axel used his political power as GM to make this a special contest, one with a special referee...Christian Wright's muscle, Bohemoth, and stated that the match can only end via his count or his call.

 

CABOOSE

Zack's going to have a lot to deal with tonight. Wright is a hell of a competitor in his own right, I'll give him that. I'd go so far as to say he might not need the favortism, but it is what it is. If anyone can beat the odds, it's Zack Malibu.

 

COLE

Let's go up to the ring where Michael Buffer awaits, ready to introduce us to all the participants in tonights main event.

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest, scheduled for one fall is your main event of the evening, and it is for the HI-YAH HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORLD!

 

zerohourHIYAH.jpg

 

"Back In Black by AC/DC hits as soon as Buffer's last word echoes throughout the arena, and down the rampway comes the official for the contest, sporting a tight fitting referee shirt with a popped collar!

 

COACH

What style...he even makes the zebra stripes look good!

 

Bohemoth steps through the ropes and paces the ring, as Buffer introduces him to the crowd, who already seem to know him well judging by their loud jeers.

 

BUFFER

Introducing first, the official for tonights matchup...BOHEMOTH!

 

Bo stands by the ropes and smirks, while the crowd lets him have it. After his music fades the lights drop, and pulsing strobes of blue and gold flicker on the entranceway, as the opening bass lines to "Getting Away With Murder" hit. Once the song kicks in, the appearance of the OAOAST's longtime defender draws a large pop from the crowd, as the fans go wild when Zack makes his way to the ring.

 

BUFFER

Coming down the ramp, he is the challenger tonight. Weighing in at an even two hundred pounds, hailing from Providence, Rhode Island, this is ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALIBU!

 

Zack steps through the ropes and climbs up on the middle rope, sliding off his hooded vest and throwing it out to the crowd, then pounds his chest and throws his arms up, working the crowd into more of a frenzy! Malibu hops down and circles the ring, giving a glare to Bohemoth, who just smiles back at him cockily. He finds Knight's box and, mimicking Alf earlier, hops onto the turnbuckles and glares at him as Knight holds up the World Title belt, telling Zack "It's mine!"

 

The lights stay dim as "Slither" hits, and the crowd is deflated, their frenzy turning into a chorus of boos as Zack's opponent is introduced.

 

BUFFER

His opponent, he is the current reigning and defending HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion...from Raleigh, North Carolina, weighing in tonight at two hundred, thirty three pounds, he is "The Natural", CHRIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSTIAN WRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!

 

Wright throws his hood back and walks to the ring, locking eyes with Zack on his path to the squared circle. Wright enters and paces back and forth as he removes his entrance attire, revealing the sixteen pounds of gold wrapped around his waist. The lights come up and Wright removes the belt, and he and Zack meet in center ring, as Wright hands the belt over to Bo, who holds it in the air.

 

COACH

All right, see, he's playing it down the middle so far.

 

CABOOSE

The match hasn't STARTED yet!

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

COACH

You were saying?

 

Lockup to start, and Wright quickly uses a go behind, and wraps his arms around Zack's waist. Malibu fires back a pair of elbows to stun Wright, and then counters with his own go behind, then releases and hits a thunderous chop to the back of Wright, nailing him right in the middle of the back! Wright reels, and Zack takes him and holds him in a side headlock, but then finds himself shot to the ropes. He stops short of Wright's leapfrog attempt, and then opens up on the scholarly Upstart, hammering him with right hands before sending him to the ropes and connecting with a spectacular dropkick, one that sends Christian Wright bailing out of the ring!

 

COLE

Only moments into the match and Christian Wright is looking for the high road, despite the fact that the odds are in his favor!

 

COACH

How do you figure? The man was shoehorned into this main event slot simply as an act of vengeance from both the HI-YAH and OAOAST Corporate Offices! They go and stick the poster boy over there against him, and you're telling me the odds are in Christian's favor?

 

COLE

He's got the backing of the General Manager, the OAOAST World Champion watching his back along with the rest of your crew, and his BEST FRIEND is the referee for the match? How is Zack NOT the underdog here tonight?

 

COACH

PK is up in that luxury box and, like Caboose said earlier, that's a long way from the ring for him.

 

Malibu looks to exit the ring, but Bo puts a stop to that, blocking Malibu and telling him to get back while he counts Wright out. Zack glares at the official, but bites his tongue, knowing that he's going to have to play by the Upstarts rules for the time being if he expects to obtain championship gold here tonight.

 

COACH

That's right Zack, step back and let Bo do his job tonight.

 

To his credit, Bohemoth gives a fair count, although one would wonder if he'd actually count to ten should Wright remain on the floor. Wright slides back in at the count of seven and comes face to face with Malibu, and shoves him back...so Malibu connects with a slap across the face that surprises the HI-YAH champ! Christian takes a wild swing, but can't connect with the haymaker, as Malibu hooks the arm and swings behind him, trapping his head in an inverted facelock and lifts...but Wright floats over and takes Zack by the waist and runs him to the ropes, rolling him up with a cradle!

 

ONE!

 

Malibu kicks out instantly, as Bo can't get to two, and the force of the kickout sends Wright towards the ropes, but he grabs the top rope and slingshots himself out to the apron. Zack gets up, and Wright tries a springboard, but Zack rushes over and pushes his feet off the rope, back to the apron! Zack takes him by the head and runs him across the apron to ram his head into the turnbuckle, but Wright puts a foot up to block! He tries to mash Zack's head into the turnbuckle, but Malibu blocks as well! The two men inch away from the post, each one with their hand on the other's head...and then Wright jumps down and snaps Zack's throat across the top rope! Malibu staggers back, allowing Wright to enter the ring and pick him up, then slam him down on the canvas. Wright then bounces off the ropes and falls forward, dropping an elbow into Zack's throat before rolling him onto his stomach and bringing him to his feet. Wright nails Zack with several chops as they both come up to their feet, and then fires him into the rop...NO! Zack puts on the brakes and swings around, taking Wright down by his legs and then delivering a hard stomp between the legs, much to the delight of the crowd and the fury of the referee Bohemoth, who pushes Zack away forcefully and berates him for such a tactic. Zack is silent as Bo threatens to disqualify him, but the big man then steps aside and allows Zack to continue on with the match, despite being unhappy with what he just did.

 

COACH

So let me ask you this, Michael, or you too, 'boose...do you approve of tactics like that?

 

CABOOSE

You're looking for the honest answer, right?

 

COACH

Yeah.

 

CABOOSE

I think he should have used both feet.

 

COACH

See, that's what I mean! That's the type of hypocrisy the Upstarts try to prevent. We do it, we're the bad guys, we're the renegades who didn't conform. Zack Malibu does it, and these fans jump up and down like they won the Powerball, and applaud it!

 

COLE

After what you've put that man through in the last several months, a kick to the nuts should be the least of Christian Wright's worries!

 

Malibu moves towards Wright and nails him with a European uppercut that floors him, and sends him falling back against the ropes. Malibu drags him away and hoists him up for a vertical suplex, letting Wright dangle upside down and have the blood rush to his head...but Wright kicks his legs and manages to come back down and plant his feet on the mat, then lifts Zack with his own suplex, but Malibu slides out and falls behind, then takes him to the mat with a rear waistlock takedown, and then paintbrushes him across the back of the head!

 

COACH

See! Listen to these fans, cheering such unsportsmanlike conduct!

 

Wright is incensed at Malibu's taunting, and so he charges...falling face first thanks to a drop toehold! Wright rolls over and sits up, holding his mouth, as Zack positions himself behind him, and then blasts him with a soccer kick to the back! Zack then hits the ropes and comes off with a soccer kick to the chest of Wright...but his leg is grabbed, and Wright clings onto it as he stands up, then takes Zack over with a Dragon screw! Wright then follows up with stomps before hitting the ropes and dropping an elbow...that misses! Zack rolls out of the way and gets to his feet, and then he drops an elbow...but that misses too! Wright covers quickly, but Bo hasn't even counted one before Zack pushes Wright off! They both get to their feet and Christian charges, but Malibu hits a monkey flip that sends Christian airborne...and he lands on his feet! He quickly leaps onto the middle rope and springboards backwards with a crossbody, wiping Zack out, and hooks the leg for a cover!

 

ONE!

 

T-KICKOUT!

 

Zack pushes Wright off him again, but this time as he comes up to his feet, Wright hits the ropes and drives a knee into Zack's back, sending him spilling out through the ropes and to the floor below! As soon as contact is made with the floor, Bo begins his count, seeming a little too eager about the possibile countout that could ensue from this.

 

COLE

Again, blatant favortism. Wright's gotten the breaks and breathers so far, but as soon as Zack got sent to the outside, he was positioned to make that ten count!

 

COACH

Which is the way it should be with any referee, Michael. Your complaints fall on deaf ears. It's an eye for an eye!

 

Bo gets up to the count of five by the time Zack is standing, and that's when Wright springs into action, hitting the ropes and then using a baseball slide...that gets dodged! Zack then yanks Christian to the floor by his legs and tries a short lariat, but it's ducked by the defending champion, who then turns Zack around, doubles him over with a kick, and hits a snap suplex on the floor! Wright then pulls Zack up by the head and stuffs him back into the ring, then gets on the apron and slingshots himself into the ring with a double stomp to the chest of Zack Malibu!

 

"Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!"

 

Wright walks across the apron and looks to the fans, then shrugs before turning his attention back to Zack. He pulls him up and applies a front facelock, clubbing Zack across the shoulder blades with his free arm. He sets Zack up for a suplex, but Malibu pushes out of the facelock, and when Wright moves forward, he's met with a hard chop to the chest! Christian reels from the blow, and then finds himself dumped on his back with a fireman's carry before being met with a dropkick to the back of the neck as he sits up! Malibu hits the ropes and executes a quebrada, but Wright puts his knees up, and Malibu lands hard and favors his ribs, and his injury enables Wright to easily hoist him up and drill him into the canvas with a stuff powerbomb!

 

ONE!

 

TW-NO!

 

Zack kicks out, but Wright keeps on him, picking him up by the arm and then sending him to the corner, and then follows up with a running knee into the ribs! Wright then starts using shoulderblocks to further weaken Zack, and then lifts him up and seats him on the top rope.

 

COLE

Christian Wright is looking for something high-impact here.

 

COACH

Thank you, Professor.

 

Wright climbs up, but Malibu pushes him off, doing his best to ward off the attack. Wright lands on his feet and runs right back up the ropes, but he gets pushed off again, and this time lands on his back! Zack uses the opening to start to balance himself on the top rope, but Wright gets up and rushes the corner again, knocking Zack off balance and crotching him on the top rope! Wright then moves up the ropes again, and this time Zack is too stunned to do anything about it, as he's taken over with a superplex by the HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion! Wright rolls on top, and covers, as the crowd watches on, hopeful for a kickout.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

KICKOUT!

 

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaah!"

 

The crowd gets what they asked for, as Malibu rolls a shoulder up to stop Bohemoth's count! Wright looks at his friend, who rolls his eyes in disbelief that Malibu was able to escape. Wright drags Zack to his feet and immediately sends him to the corner, then follows up with a charge...right into a boot! Wright staggers away after Malibu's act of desperation, then charges in again...into a double boot! He knocks Wright back once again, and then props himself up on the middle rope and takes Wright by the head, and then goes for a Tornado DDT...but Wright blocks it and carries Zack around and sticks him right back on the turnbuckles! Wright backs off, but before he can do anything, Malibu leaps off the second rope and uses a sunset flip to take him to the mat, but Wright rolls through before a count is even considered, and tries for the figure four...but Malibu kicks him off and sends him through the ropes, out onto the ramp!

 

COLE

Christian couldn't stop his own momentum from taking him out of the ring, but that's the opening that Zack needs to be able to mount a comeback.

 

Wright is up quickly, but once again, when Malibu goes to exit the ring, Bo tells him to keep back. The crowd boos as Bo prevents Zack from keeping his offense flowing, but when Bo turns his back to Malibu and resumes the count, Malibu sprints across the ring and leaps up onto the top rope, launching himself into the air with a springboard crossbody, taking Wright out on the ramp!

 

CABOOSE

THERE! Now that's what I like to see, Zacky, take it to him!

 

Malibu rolls off of Wright and lays there looking up at the lights, as the crowd chants him name loudly.

 

"ZACK!"

 

"ZACK!"

 

"ZACK!"

 

Groggy, Zack gets up, and retrieves Wright, but as he pulls Christian up Wright drives his head into Zack's midsection, which drops him to his knees!

 

CABOOSE

That was a blatant low blow!

 

COACH

It was not! Malibu was pulling him up, and was in too much of a damn hurry that he wound up hurting himself!

 

Wright pulls Zack to his feet, but the challenger then stuns the champion by planting him with an inverted atomic drop, targetting the same area that Wright just punished on Malibu! The defending champion reels, as Malibu takes him and delivers another one before sending him down the ramp with an Irish whip, throwing him up in the air off the rebound and letting him drop back to Earth with a flapjack out on the rampway!

 

"Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!"

 

CABOOSE

That was the very definition of a crash landing! He almost went right through the ramp!

 

COLE

Wouldn't be the first time. Remember the time Zack got press slammed through it by Northstar.

 

CABOOSE

Shattered Dreams.

 

COLE

Same person.

 

CABOOSE

Different name.

 

COACH

WILL YOU GUYS PAY ATTENTION!!? I mean geez, when did you ever expect me to be the one to say that!?

 

Zack yanks Wright up from the ramp and stands him on his spaghetti legs, then chops him, causing him to stumble back against the ropes. Malibu continues to chop, every crack of the chest skin drawing a "WHOO" from the crowd before swinging around with a discus clothesline that drops Wright over the ropes and back into the ring! Wright rolls onto his back, and Malibu slingshots in and lands with an elbowsmash, then once again looks for victory as he hooks the leg of Christian Wright!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

NO!

 

COACH

What spirit. What a fighting champion!

 

Bohemoth stands up and backs off, waving two fingers in the air. Malibu eyes him as he brings Wright up and holds him by the wrist, follows up with a wrench of the arm, and then surprises him by taking him down with a sweep kick! Malibu reaches down, but Wright kicks up with both feet and knocks Zack down, then gets up and goes to get Zack...but Malibu kicks him down with both feet! All of a sudden, BOTH MEN kip up and move towards each other, and wind up taking each other out with a double clothesline!

 

COLE

AMAZING! Zack thought he had the advantage, Wright tried mounting a comeback, and their efforts have resulted in them laying each other out!

 

Both men are down on the canvas, eyes closed due to the growing weariness this match has brought on. The Metrosexual Monster starts a standing ten count, watching and waiting to see if either man can make it up by the count of ten, because if not, the match will be ruled a draw.

 

CABOOSE

Well to his credit, Bo is counting both men down, but I shudder to think what's going to happen if Zack is the first one up!

 

The well-dressed warrior, making even a simple ref shirt look fashionable tonight, keeps counting down both men, who have barely stirred. Concern is apparent on Bohemoth's face as he keeps looking to Wright, which causes this to become the slowest ten count in history! Christian is the first to lift himself off the mat, and Bo takes a deep breath out of relief...only to turn and see Zack coming up as well. Christian doesn't see this as he has his back to his opponent, so Bo quickly spins his ally around, and it enables Christian to drop Zack with a DDT, putting them both back down on the mat!

 

COLE

Unbiased my ass! He blatantly helped him out there!

 

COACH

If you were wandering around in a daze, wouldn't you want a good soul to point you in the right direction?

 

Wright then rolls Zack over onto his back, but instead of going for the pin, he clobbers him with punches and elbows across the face, pummelling him like there's no tomorrow! Wright then slowly stands up and brings Malibu with him and sends him to the ropes, catching him as he comes off with a facebuster...and then an inverted atomic drop...then an STO! Wright then bounces off the ropes and drops a knee across his forehead, completing the C4, and goes for the cover!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

T-NO! KICKOUT!

 

COLE

He kicked out of the C4!

 

Wright slaps the mat, then approaches Bo, asking about the count! Bo shrugs his shoulders and tells Wright that Zack had the shoulder up at two, and apologizes for it! Wright turns around and puts the boots to Zack, not allowing him any space for recovery, then drags him closer to center ring before running out to the apron! Wright then races across the apron and up the ropes, then leaps off with a high elevation frog splash, crashing all of his two hundred thirty one pounds across Zack Malibu! He hooks the leg, and Bo drops down, as the crowd counts along out of habit.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THRE---NO!

 

CABOOSE

HE KICKED OUT!

 

COACH

HOW?!

 

COLE

Well, he lifted his shoulder up off the mat before the three count, which means...

 

COACH

I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS!

 

COLE

Then why ask?

 

Wright's jaw drops in shock, and Bo's eyes grow wider, as neither seem to believe that Malibu has escaped defeat! Wright immediately ducks out of the ring and climbs the ropes again, focusing on Zack before sending himself airborne, crashing down on him AGAIN with his Holy Grail of frog splashes! Wright hooks the leg as far back as he can, and watches as Bo counts, mouthing the count along with each slap of the canvas.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THRE----NO! KICKOUT AGAIN BY ZACK MALIBU!

 

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

 

Wright rolls off of Zack and slams his hands on the mat, having a temper tantrum in mid-ring. Bo helps his friend up to his feet, but Wright brushes him off, going in for the kill as he stomps Zack down before pulling him up and shooting him into the ropes, nailing him with another facebuster, another inverted atomic drop, and another...WAIT! Malibu throws his elbow back into the side of Wright's face, and then it's MALIBU who hits WRIGHT with an STO, putting them both down on the canvas once again!

 

COLE

Malibu blocked the C4, and look at how exhausted these two are!

 

CABOOSE

I hate to say it, Cole, but no matter which one of these guys wins, they're going to deserve it.

 

Once again, Bo starts a standing ten count, as both competitors regain their breath and try to survive through the exhaustion. They both roll on their stomachs and start pushing themselves off the mat. Malibu manages to do it faster than Wright and hits the ropes, coming off as Wright has his head tucked low and nails him with a ZACK ATTACK~! that knocks him silly, sending him through the ropes and crashing down on the ringside floor!

 

COLE

The Zack Attack connected!

 

COACH

But he can't win the title with Wright on the floor! Titles can't change hands on countouts!

 

Bo looks over the ropes and checks on Wright, who is holding his head and kicking his legs as he lay face down on the floor. Malibu takes a moment before stepping out to the apron, and then simply crouches in wait, waiting for Wright to get to his feet. The champion pushes up, then balances himself with the help of the security railing...and when he turns around all he sees is the blur of Malibu racing across the apron and then leaping off, connecting with a hard flying lariat across his chest!

 

COLE

Apron Run Diving Clothesline connects as well, and Wright is laid out on the floor!

 

Zack gets up, sweat dripping from his forehead, as the crowd responds in kind, enthused by the thought of Malibu getting revenge on at least one of The Upstarts tonight. He pulls Wright up for what seems like the millionth time this match, but Wright shoves him backwards, and Malibu collides with the ringpost, smashing the back of his head! Zack falls to the side, clutching the back of his head, as Wright gets up, only to stumble over! He catches himself on the apron, and then moves towards the timekeepers table, reaching over ring announcer Michael Buffer and grabbing his HI-YAH Heavyweight Title. He grasps it in both hands, the metal center plate exposed, and aims for Malibu, waiting for him to get up...but the referee, a man that Wright sees as his closest ally, slides out of the ring and stands in the way of the potentially fatal blow!

 

COACH

What the...

 

CABOOSE

I don't think anyone saw this coming!

 

Wright steps back, in amazement that Bo would dare stand in his way. The referee stands his ground, but a frustrated Wright, looking to get a win by any means possible, tries to blow past him...and gets pushed back! The crowd roars as the two friends are nose to nose, and when Wright tries to go by him again, Bo pushes back, and then starts trying to take the title from his hands! Wright tugs on it, but Bo won't let go, and the bickering between the two men has the crowd at a fever pitch...even moreso as Zack gets to his feet and comes over to the two men...AND GETS BLASTED WITH THE BELT AS WRIGHT RELEASES HIS GRIP!

 

COLE

NO!

 

CABOOSE

But wait, was that...oh would you look at this now!

 

Bohemoth, the referee for this contest, stands over Zack, holding the belt, as the momentum of Wright's release caused Bo to fall back and clock Zack in the head. What looked like an accident seems to have been done with intent, as Bo tosses the belt down and then just shrugs, before reaching down and picking up a bloody Zack in his arms, and rolls him into the ring under the bottom rope! Bo slides in as well, while Wright climbs up on the apron and again ascends the turnbuckles, and hits a THIRD Holy Grail frog splash, crashing down across Zack Malibu!

 

COACH

That's it, he's done! He's taken three of these, he's had his head bashed into the ringpost, AND he got busted open by a beltshot.

 

CABOOSE

From the referee no less!

 

COACH

Accidents happen!

 

CABOOSE

Accident my ass.

 

Wright covers, hooking a leg just in case Malibu has any fight left in him, as Bo makes the count.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE...NO! NO! ZACK MALIBU THROWS HIS SHOULDER UP BEFORE THREE!

 

COLE

HE KICKED OUT!

 

Wright can't believe it, so he keeps Zack down, pulling back on the leg again, as Bo counts.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THRE-KICKOUT AGAIN! ZACK KICKS OUT AGAIN!

 

Wright pounds on the canvas, and gets up, stomping Zack down hard before pulling him up and then striking him with a hard kneelift. He then traps him in a front facelock, but before he can Convert any sinners, Malibu pushes him back, and then fires off SCHOOL'S OUT out of the blue...AND IT HITS BO INSTEAD OF WRIGHT!

 

COLE

He ducked it!

 

COACH

HE HIT THE REF! DQ! DQ!

 

Wright hits a low blow from behind before Zack can do anything, and then drills him with a reverse DDT, spiking his head on the canvas! Wright then goes and tries to wake Bo up, trying to help him come to, but nothing seems to work, as the giant has been dropped by the right foot of the OAOAST's most beloved star! With both his opponent and his saving grace down on the canvas, Wright grows desperate, and exits the ring again, once again taking his HI-YAH Heavyweight Championship belt into his hand! He rolls into the ring and braces himself, egging Malibu on...when all of a sudden somebody hops on the ring apron and yanks the belt out of his hands!

 

COLE

What the...it's ALIX SPEZIA!

 

The crowd roars as Alix steals the HI-YAH belt from Wright, who spins around in shock as the spunky superstar tries to hop off the apron with his belt...but he grabs her by the hair! Wright, who has had his problems with the COD in recent weeks, has Alix in his grasp...but he's then spun around by her sistah from another mistah, Krista Isadora Duncan! Krista then hits a low kick that stuns Wright...AND HAS HIM OPEN TO EAT A SCHOOL'S OUT FROM ZACK!

 

COACH

Get those girls out of there! Malibu should have been DQ'd for hitting the ref, nevermind the outside interference!

 

COLE

COD has simply evened the odds for Zack. Beltshots, blatant favortism...that's nothing compared with a simple kick to the junk.

 

COACH

I oughta kick YOU in the junk, punk!

 

Malibu covers, and the fans count to three, but the one person who can make that count official is still groggy. Malibu gets up and goes over to Bo, slapping him across the face and trying to bring him back to life, while COD pounds the apron, adding to the crowd rally for Zack Malibu!

 

COLE

Chicks Over Dicks have come out to even the odds, but the referee is down and...oh now wait just a second!

 

The arena explodes in boos as the GPX start coming down the ramp, pointing and cursing at Krista and Alix for watching Malibu's back. The storm down the ramp, but before they can do anything, James Blonde and Faqu charge down the ramp and spin them around, and start brawling with them on the rampway to a loud pop!

 

CABOOSE

ALL RIGHT!

 

COACH

No...NO! What are they doing out here?!

 

COLE

Evening the odds, Coach!

 

Bo starts to stir, and Malibu notices this, so he pulls Wright up...but as he does he has his eyes raked by the champion, and then gets carried over with a Northern Lights Suplex...but there is still no one to count the fall!

 

COACH

C'mon Bo, roll over, there's a pin going on!

 

Amidst all the chaos, Bohemoth manages to come to, turning over to see Wright pinning Malibu down with the suplex, and he counts!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

COLE

He kicked out! COME ON ZACK!

 

Blonde and Faqu drive the GPX back to the dressing room, but the COD stay put at ringside, cheerleading Zack Malibu. Wright pulls Zack up and grips him by the head, setting up for Converting The Sinner...but Malibu takes his wrist and wrenches his arm, twisting his way out of it before yanking Wright in close and grabbing him, lifting him off the canvas with a FALLING STAR DRIVER~!

 

CABOOSE

HE JUST BOUNCED HIS HEAD OFF THE CANVAS!

 

Malibu covers, and Bo drops to his knees, counting the pin...

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THRE---WAIT! BO HESITATES, AND DOESN'T BRING HIS ARM DOWN!

 

COLE

Sonuva, I KNEW it. I KNEW it would come down to this.

 

COACH

See that Zack...all those years of favortism have just bitten you on the ass. It's KARMA, baby!

 

THREE!

 

COACH

WHAT THE!?

 

KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN SLID INTO THE RING AND PUSHED BO'S HAND DOWN FOR THE THREE COUNT!

 

WE HAVE A NEW HI-YAH HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!

 

COACH

No...NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!

 

COLE

Hey, Axel said this match could only end by Bo's hand, and it did! The Upstarts finally got a taste of their own medicine!

 

BUFFER

Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, and the NEW HI-YAH HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD...ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK MAAAAAAAAAALIBUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

 

The crowd EXPLODES, as "Getting Away With Murder" hits, but is barely audible as the crowd goes crazy. Malibu rolls off of Wright and just lays there, while Alix Spezia slides into the ring and drapes the HI-YAH belt over his chest. We go to Knight's box and the champion is livid, tipping over food trays and kicking his couch. The cameras then cut backstage to Axel's office, and he is NOT happy, including the General Manager tossing his desk over and kicking the TV down in a fit of rage!

 

COLE

I guess those two won't be going to the victory party tonight!

 

COACH

That was robbery, Cole! You know it and I know it!

 

CABOOSE

It was fair play. That man fought his heart out tonight, and it could have been all for naught if that goon didn't make the count. Good for COD, and Blonde and Faqu, to help even up the odds!

 

Bohemoth helps Wright up, with Wright nearly falling right back down as he's so worn out from the contest. Meanwhile, other OAOAST Superstars, including Blonde, Faqu, Zack's former partner Leon Rodez, and even Tony Brannigan hit the ring, lifting Zack up on their shoulders as the arena explodes in an awesome fireworks display!

 

COLE

Those aren't bombs bursting in the air, that's the sound of celebration! Zack Malibu battled against all odds tonight at Zero Hour, and he has definitely put a wrench in the Upstarts plans for the OAOAST!

 

COACH

We'll take care of this! You mark my words, we'll take care of this!

 

Coach slams his headset down and storms off, walking past the ring and up the ramp, glaring at the celebration in the ring. He meets up with Bo and Wright on the ramp, and the three complain about just went on, before the cameras cut back to the ring one final time, showing Zack Malibu holding the belt over his head with both hands, as the crowd chants his name.

 

"ZACK!"

 

"ZACK!"

 

"ZACK!"

 

© 2006

OAOAST Entertainment

All Rights Reserved.

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