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SWF Smarkdown 2-27-2006

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A series of explosions ripple through the arena to accompany the SWF Smarkdown theme as the show begins among a jacked up crowd!

 

BOOM!

 

BOOM!

 

BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM!

 

The camera pans across the audience, revealing thousands of rabid Canadian fans waiting to get their SWF fix. Finally the camera rests at the commentary table, where the show's two announcers are ready to get things started.

 

"We are live at the sold out MTS Center in Winnipeg, Canada!" exclaims play by play man Longdogger Pete. "Welcome to SWF Smarkdown, everybody! I am Longdogger Pete, accompanied as always by the ruthless, the mirthless, and the ridiculous Suicide King."

 

"Don't start that with me, Drainclogger," replies the Suicide King. "You're still on my shit list after taking off earlier today. Let me tell you, Joe Peters was freaking out because he didn't think you'd be back in time."

 

"I can take care of myself," is Pete's only reply. "Anyway, folks, we've got a hell of a show lined up for you tonight! We've got three Lethal Lottery matches, a Cruiserweight title match, and a six-man tag main event that includes the SWF World Champion, El Luchadore Magnifico, here in action tonight!"

 

Suddenly Pete's commentary is interrupted as a series of white lights flash across the stage. "I'm Alive" by Disturbed kicks in on the speakers, and a man steps out on the stage. He is instantly booed by the Winnipeg audience.

 

"Ladies and gentlemen," hollers Funyon in the ring, "please welcome... KEVIN... COYOTE!"

 

"Oh, look," says King. "It's your boy!"

 

Coyote makes his way down the ramp, never taking his eyes off the commentary table as he does so. He wears his customary jean jacket (presumably with a cell phone in one of the pockets) worn loosely over a black SWF T-shirt with the phrase: "Turn Up The Volume." He climbs into the ring, taking the microphone from Funyon, and waits patiently for his music to die out. It does so, and is replaced by a loud chant from the Winnipeg crowd.

 

"KEV-IN SUCKS!"

"KEV-IN SUCKS!"

"KEV-IN SUCKS!"

 

Coyote ignores the fans and begins speaking on the microphone. "LDP!" he hollers. "Get up here. It's time I answered your little challenge."

 

Pete glances at King, who shrugs at him but says nothing. Pete shrugs himself, takes off his headset, and walks to the ring, climbing in between the second and third ropes. He stands to his full height of six-foot-six, towering over his biological son.

 

"You know, you're a pretty wily dog," says Coyote. "You saw right through my ambush attempt. Good for you. I expected that. And I expected you'd show up anyway, and you did." Coyote's nostrils flare as he angrily exclaims the next words. "I was not expecting you to bring along a cameraman, Ben Hardy, and two members of SWF security!"

 

Pete grins smugly as the audience lets out a little nervous laughter.

 

"So my ambush didn't end up happening after all. No matter. You issued me a challenge, dog, to get into the ring with you, and it's time I gave you my answer."

 

Pete says nothing, only glares at Coyote quizzically.

 

"The answer is... at From the Fire... yes. I will step into the ring with you, and we will work out our differences in a match."

 

The audience goes nuts! Pete nods and smiles as the fans begin a chant of "L! D! P!" Obviously they've pondered the idea of this match for awhile and are receptive to it.

 

"Conditionally," says Coyote, breaking up the audience chants. "You see, dog, it has dawned on me that you and I do not, CAN not co-exist here in the SWF. No matter what happens, no matter what I'm doing, who I'm wrestling, as long as you're off to the side in that little table of yours, you'll always be a threat to me. One of us is going to have to go.

 

"Therefore, I've added a stipulation to our match at From the Fire. So it's going to be Kevin Coyote... versus Longdogger Pete... in a Pink... Slip... Ladder match!"

 

A collective gasp rises up now from the Winnipeg fans. This clearly wasn't the stipulation they had in mind. Pete, for his part, looks stunned.

 

"That's right, Pink Slip Ladder match! Which means one of us will go! If you beat me - which won't happen - then I will leave the SWF. But if... WHEN... I defeat you... then your career here in the SWF is OVER. No more matches, no more appearances... and I will personally tear up your SWF announcer's contract. So that's how it's going to be, dog. Now... accept these terms... so we can get this over with."

 

Coyote shoves the microphone into Pete's hand, then folds his arms, awaiting a reply.

 

Pete mulls it over, considering his options before speaking two words into the microphone.

 

"...I accept."

 

Coyote nods at Pete, his face betraying no other emotion but satisfaction. He leaves Pete where he is, backing out of the ring as his music begins playing again. The camera gets a closeup shot of Pete's discouraged reaction as the screen fades out to a commercial break.

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The Smartmarks Wrestling Federation presents
SWF SMARKDOWN!
LIVE MONDAY 27th FEBRUARY from the SOLD OUT MTS CENTER in Winnipeg, Mannitoba, Canada!
(7pm EST, 10pm EST, check local listings)

The SWF moves north to Canada! Why? I don't know cos I don't know the geography, but J3 seems to think it makes sense! We have no less than SIX top-quality matches for you all, not only the Lethal Lottery but also someone gets a chance to go Hardcore, and a tumultous six-man tag!

OPENING PROMO: Kevin Coyote

MAIN EVENT
SIX-MAN TAG
El Luchadore Magnifico©, Jay Hawke© and The Crimson Skull vs. Wes Davenport, Landon 'La Cucaracha' Maddix© and 'The Icon' Max King©

Well, Magnifico got his claws into The Icon recently for starters; he also has a little something going on with Wes Davenport, seeing as how Wes is the NUMBER ONE CONTENDER and all. Maddix... well, he brought the goods for Lockdown's main event, and he's always ready for a little more spotlight. Siding with our long-reigning World Champion is the longer-reigning International Champion Jay Hawke, and malignant Super Villain, the Crimson Skull! Will he show the same fire in the main event, or will this unlikely teaming finally mean that ELM loses...? Tear it up, guys...
Rules: Only one man from each team in the ring at a time, use the tag ropes, one fall, countout and DQ in effect, etc.
Word Limit: 6000
Send To: Evolution (Z note: Duran may have internet problems on Monday, so please also send copies of your match to realitycheck)


LETHAL LOTTERY (Cross-Pool)
Stryke & Wildchild (1-0) vs Insane Luchador & Kevin Coyote (1-0)

Tagamania is still runnin' wild as we blaze towards From the Fire, and tension is building like low-quality wordplay in this description amongst the various entrants. Who will go to TLC? Will we see another upset from Kevadore? Will StryChild continue it's slightly unsuspected run of dominance? Will we ever give these teams legitimate names, isntead of blending the ones they have? No.
Word Limit: 4500
Send To: chirs3


CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE MATCH
DOUBLE THREAT
"The Divine Wind" Akira Kaibatsu© vs Zyon

Zyon lost the title to Akira Kaibatsu, but it could doom is angle to the blakest depths of hell, so here's a rematch to try and avoid that.
Rules: It's a standard cruiserweight title match. Y'see, it's called Double Threat because it was originally a TRIPLE Threat with Spike, but he can't be booked, so JJ changed it to this an effort to be clever. You fail.
Word Limit: 5000
Send To: realitycheck


ULTRAVIOLENT TITLE #1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCH
Michael Cross vs. The Masked Crusader

Cross done good against Maddix, and showed heart. Have a contendership match. Crusader promised big things in the Cold Front Classic last year but failed to deliver - now he's back for another shot at SWF glory!
Word Limit: 4000
Send To: janusd


LETHAL LOTTERY (Pool B)
Christian Fury & Mistress Sarah (1-1) vs. Ghost Machine 2.0 & Matt Myers (0-1)

Fight! Yeah, I'm out of stuff to say.
Word Limit: 4500
Send To: Justice


OPENING MATCH
LETHAL LOTTERY (Pool C)
Rush Hadrian & Todd Cortez (1-0) vs. Jimmy the Doom & Manson (2-0)

Rush, the quick replacement for JJ Johnson in the Lethal Lottery, has proven most effective paired with Todd Cortez in their first match together. They go up against the pairing of Jimmy the Doom and Manson, a team that, shockingly, has also proven most effective! Can Doom and Manson be the first to go a perfect 3-0 in the Lethal Lottery? Tune in to FIND OUT!
Word Limit: 4500
Send To: The Superstar



Send all promos and marked matches to chirs3.
Edited by chirs3

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Smarkdown returns after a commercial for Memphis Eel hair gel, and camera man Larry Blackwell (Sacred really does have a large family) pans around the arena, displaying such signs as, TOUDD COURTEZ ROUCKS! (Well, it is Canada), and I LOUVE RUSH! with the heads of Geddy Lee, Neil Peart, and Alex Lifeson plastered on Allan Hadrian's body. Larry then swings his camera around to focus on the Suicide King and Longdogger Pete.

 

"Hello again, fans! Smarkdown is live from Winnipeg, Manitoba! We've got full card tonight, loaded with Lethal Lottery matches, not to mention that thrilling six man tag for the main event," Pete says.

 

"Right you are, Pete. We've only got a few more shows until From the Fire, and things are already starting to heat up!"

 

"So let's start things off with a Lethal Lottery tag match between the team of Rush Hadrian and Todd Cortez versus Manson and Jimmy the Doom!" Pete exclaims.

 

"Oh, God no! Anything but those doofuses," King mutters.

 

Before King has the opportunity to further bad mouth the teams involved, the lights go out and a phalanx of druids march out, chanting the same word continuously.

 

DOOM!

 

DOOM!

 

DOOM!

 

DOOM!

 

The lights snap back on and Mastodon's "Crusher Destroyer" rips over the speakers, prompting Manson, Jimmy the Doom, and Lois the Unethical to walk out together in a surprising show of solidarity.

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall in the Lethal Lottery tournament! Introducing first, being accompanied by Lois the Unethical, at a combined weight of four hundred, eighty-five pounds and a record of two and zero, JIIMMEEE THE DOOOM AND MMAANSON!" Funyon booms.

 

Doom and Manson both slide into the ring and begin discussing strategy for the match at hand. Or maybe Doom is just pleading with the Stampede to stay for the duration of the match.

 

"I'm amazed that Jimmy the Doom isn't screaming at Manson for leaving him during their tag match against Jay Hawke and Arch Griffon. Of course, that could have taken place afterwards," Pete says.

 

"I'd say that Jay Hawke has more right to be upset because his team lost after Griffon left," King points out.

 

"Crusher Destroyer" fades out and is quickly replaced by Mos Def, Nate Dogg, and Pharoah Monche's "Oh No".

 

Bam!

 

An explosion on both sides of the ramp marks the entrance of Todd Cortez, Rush Hadrian, and Megan Skye. The trio head down to the ring, Skye stopping outside the squared circle.

 

"And their opponent, being accompanied by Megan Skye, they weigh four hundred, fifty pounds, and hold a record of one and zero, the 'Urban Legend', TODD CORRTEZ AND RUUUSH HAAAADRRIAAAAN!" shouts the always dapper Funyon.

 

Cortez removes his cross and vest, and hands both over to Funyon. Todd and Rush talk briefly about who is to start the match, before Hadrian exits, leaving Cortez in the ring with Manson and referee Bryan Adams (Canadian law mandates that Adams be present at, and participate in any major event taking place on Canadian soil). Adams pats down both men then calls for the bell after not finding anything.

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

"And the two men with the most tag team experience start it off. Manson, of course, teamed with Arch Griffon, while Cortez has had several partners, including current tag champ Landon Maddix, Mike Van Siclen, and The Masked Man" Pete notes.

 

"That's true, MacDougal, and I think Van Siclen and Masked Man outweigh Maddix, so I'll give the advantage here to Cortez and Hadrian," King replies.

 

Manson and Todd circle briefly before locking together. The Raging Bull quickly gains the upperhand and slides Cortez into a side headlock. Manson isn't content to simply apply the hold, and begins smashing punches into whatever part of Cortez's head he can. Adams suggests that Manson refrain from using closed fists, and gets flipped off. However, this momentary reprieve is enough for the 'Urban Legend', and he shunts Manson into the ropes. The Stampede hurtles back and gets knocked down with a leg lariat. Todd scrambles to his feet, as does Manson. The two crash together like bipedal bighorn sheep, with the Stampede once again gaining the advantage. Manson performs an armwringer and then smashes a pair of chops into Todd's neck. The Raging Bull yanks the 'Urban Legend' in close, driving a knee into Cortez's gut. Manson wraps Todd up, pivots, and slams the 'Urban Legend' into the mat.

 

"Nice belly to belly slam from Manson. He's easily the strongest man in this match and is using it to his advantage," Pete states.

 

"True, but Cortez and Hadrian are both much quicker than Manson and Jimmy the Doom, so the tide could turn very quickly," King points out.

 

Manson scrambles up to his feet, races for the ropes, and drops an elbow on the space Cortez occupied just moments ago. Todd kips up and boots the Raging Bull in the face. Manson rolls away, but Cortez stays on the offensive, kicking at the Stampede's torso. Manson reaches the ropes and Bryan Adams quickly intercedes, allowing Manson to rise to his feet. Darts past Adams and blasts Manson in the jaw with a spin kick. Todd swiftly follows up with an European uppercut, but the Raging Bull answers with an elbow smash to the face. Cortez takes a step back, providing an opening for Manson to boot the 'Urban Legend' in the stomach. Manson slaps on a front facelock and drops a forearm across Todd's back. The Raging Bull lands another forearm before hoisting Cortez up and droping him across Manson's knee.

 

"Rib breaker, and Manson is really working over Todd Cortez's torso, which should tire him out quickly," Pete notes.

 

"True, but Manson needs to focus on Todd's head and neck, as that's what his, and Jimmy the Doom's usual finishers target," King adds.

 

Manson pulls Todd up by the hair and drags the 'Urban Legend' over to his and Jimmy the Doom's corner. Manson smashes an elbow into Todd's face before tagging in his Doomtopian partner. Jimmy springs to the top turnbuckle and leaps off, knocking Cortez to the mat with a dropkick. Doom lunges towards Todd and makes a lateral press.

 

ONE!

 

 

TW-No!

 

"Shoulder up from Cortez. He's a tough customer to put down for the three count."

 

"You know why, right Pete?" King asks.

 

"I'm afraid to ask, but why, King?"

 

"Cause he's from the streets, bitch!" King exclaims.

 

Doom pulls Todd of the mat, but the 'Urban Legend' swipes out, raking his fingers across Jimmy's eyes. Cortez lands two quick kicks to Doom's right knee, then finishes with a jumping spin kick to the jaw. Which does not drop Jimmy as intended. Cortez grabs Doom by the wrist and whips him into Todd's corner. The 'Urban Legend' follows in and dropkicks Jimmy in the chest. Cortez reaches up and tags in Rush, who grabs Doom by the back of the head and runs along the apron, smashing Jimmy face first into the adjacent top turnbuckle. The Doomtopian stumbles out, Hadrian springs to the top rope, and leaps off, taking Jimmy to the mat.

 

"Now Rush Hadrian is in control of this match after that flying neckbreaker drop!" Pete yells.

 

"And he did it with his speed. Doom and Manson just can't keep pace with him or Todd Cortez," King adds.

 

Rush rolls over and makes a lateral press, hooking Jimmy's outside leg.

 

ONE!

 

 

T-No!

 

"Kick out by Doom, who has proven countless times to be incredibly tough. As has Manson, actually. It should be interesting to see how Cortez and Hadrian's speed fares against Jimmy and Manson's tolerance for pain," Pete states.

 

"You also have to consider how tough Cortez and Hadrian are, and honestly, I think that Todd Cortez's great tag team experience should counteract most flaws."

 

Rush pulls Doom to his feet and drives two quick knees into the Doomtopian's stomach. Hadrian wraps Jimmy up, lifts him off the mat, and sits out with a powerbomb, pinning Doom's shoulders to the mat.

 

ONE!

 

 

TW-No!

 

"Almost a two count for Hadrian, but Jimmy the Doom is still pretty fresh," Pete points out.

 

"Yeah, it's going to take some blows to the head to keep him down for a long period of time."

 

Rush shoves Doom away and waits for the Doomtopian to rise. Jimmy clambers up, and Hadrian cracks him in the back of the skull.

 

CATECHISM!

 

"Just like that. Excellent enzuigiri from Rush Hadrian," King says.

 

Hadrian races for the ropes, bounces back, and leaps as Doom turns to face him.

 

TINTINNABULATION!

 

"Single leg dropkick from Hadrian! He's really taking it to Jimmy the Doom, and Manson needs to get back into this match if they want to win their pool," Pete says.

 

"I'm actually surprised he just hasn't rushed in and started pummelling Hadrian and Cortez," King replies.

 

Rush slaps a front facelock on Doom and sends him over with a quick snap suplex. Hadrian drags Jimmy over to his corner and tags in Cortez, who drops a springboard knee across Jimmy's chest. Todd hauls Jimmy back to his feet and whips him into the ropes. Cortez scoops Doom up, and plants him with an inverted atomic drop. The 'Urban Legend' shoots for the ropes and dives at Jimmy, knocking him to the mat and making a lateral press.

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO-No!

 

"Not even a two count after a Crotch-Droppah and Hollow Point combination!" Pete marvels.

 

"I'm telling you, bash him in the head a bit and that should take him down," King states.

 

Todd gets up, followed shortly afterwards by Doom. Jimmy lands a palm thrust to the face, but Cortez answers with a pair of kicks to the head. The 'Urban Legend' whips the Doomtopian chest first into the turnbuckle and drops to his knees while Jimmy stumbles out. Cortez springs to his feet with Doom draped across one shoulder. Todd walks out of the corner, turns around, and drops to his ass, wrenching Doom's neck. The 'Urban Legend' points to the top rope and tags in Rush, who scrambles up. Hadrian leaps off, driving an elbow into Jimmy's face. Rush stretches out and makes a lateral press.

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

T-No!

 

"Hadrian just barley got a near fall after Cortez hit that Neckwrecker, and Rush followed up with a Macho Elbow to the face. They seem to following your strategy of hitting Jimmy the Doom in the head, but even so, he still seems relatively fresh," Pete notes.

 

"It's not going to happen suddenly, though, MacDougal. But, if Hadrian and Cortez keep up the attack, then Jimmy the Doom should be rendered a nonfactor in this match," King says.

 

Hadrian pulls the Doomtopian off the mat and shunts him to the ropes. Rush leaps up as Jimmy bounces back, and nails him in the back of the head.

 

REFRACTORY!

 

"Another enzuigiri from Rush Hadrian, but it's not having the intended effect of dropping Jimmy the Doom. Just making him stumble around like a drunkard," Longdogger points out.

 

"I don't think it matters how exactly it affects him, as long as it affects him," King replies.

 

Hadrian grabs Doom by the arms, twists him around, and plants Jimmy with a reverse double arm DDT. Rush scrambles to his corner and tags in Cortez, who vaults into the ring and on top of Doom's back with both knees. Todd snares Jimmy around the chin and yanks back, rolling him over and scissoring Doom around the waist.

 

"Street Dreams! Todd Cortez has almost got the Street Dreams completely locked in! If he can just slap on an armbar, then Jimmy the Doom will really be in trouble," Pete says.

 

"I think he's in trouble already, armbar or not," King points out.

 

Bryan Adams slides in to ask if Doom will submit, and gets back a muffled negative while Cortez manages to secure the armbar. The 'Urban Legend' cranks back, but the Doomtopian reaches up, and lands a blind throat thrust. Todd obviously doesn't wish to give up the dragon sleeper, so instead relinquishes the armbar in order to grab his neck. With both arms now free, Jimmy threads them through the facelock and breaks Cortez's grip. Doom twists around as best he can while still locked in a body scissors, and bashes Cortez in the face with some elbows, forcing the 'Urban Legend' to let him go. Jimmy tries to scramble away, but a flying Hadrian puts the kibosh on the Doomtopian's escape with a springboard dropkick. This prompts Manson to rush to the center of the ring, but that's as far as he gets before being stopped by Bryan Adams and ordered to return to his own corner. The Raging Bull flips Adams the bird and trudges back.

 

"Doom escapes the Street Dreams, but can't make a tag, as Rush Hadrian took him out with a dropkick, and Manson is understandably upset," Pete says.

 

"Understandably upset? Manson is always upset, and since he's got a reason this time, I'm shocked he didn't break the referee's skull," King replies.

 

"He probably doesn't want to get his team disqualified from the match," Pete points out.

 

"How often has that stopped the majority of the wrestlers in the SWF?" King asks.

 

"Good point, King. Maybe he's on the Zoloft, to keep from killing all of us," Longdogger offers.

 

Hadrian heads back to the corner while Todd Cortez reaches out to make a cover on Jimmy the Doom.

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

TH-No!

 

"Shoulder up from Jimmy the Doom! Maybe if Cortez had Street Dreams on for just a little while longer, it would have been enough to put Doom away," Pete muses.

 

"I don't know, Pete. Now, if Cortez went for the Riot Act Plus, and Manson was stopped by Hadrian, that should keep Jimmy down for the count. Of course, Rush might get torn limb from limb by the Raging Bull, but that's a small price to pay to have the chance to beat up Landon Maddix at From the Fire," King says.

 

The 'Urban Legend' climbs up and pulls Jimmy up by his shirt. Cortez whips Doom to the ropes and sticks out a foot, catching the Doomtopian right on the mouth.

 

GRENADINE!

 

Jimmy's knees buckle, but before he can drop, Todd wraps a hand around his throat and lifts him off his Doomtopian feet. Cortez sits out, throwing his legs over Jimmy's arms for a pin.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THRE-No!

 

"Kick out! Jimmy the Doom kicked out of the Urban Assault after a superkick! What else does Todd Cortez and Rush Hadrian have to do to keep Doom down for the three count?" Pete wonders.

 

"They could always just brain him with a chair," King offers.

 

Cortez pushes Doom away and stomps over to tag in Hadrian. Rush makes his way towards Jimmy and begins to lift him off the mat, only for the Doomtopian to launch himself vertically, driving the top of his skull into Hadrian's jaw. Rush takes a step backwards and gets smacked with a kick to the face. Hadrian throws a forearm into Jimmy's chest, only to get a double shotei to the face. Doom closes in on Rush and cracks him with a headbutt.

 

MAHARAJAH!

 

Hadrian nearly drops to one knee, which allows Doom to snag him with a front facelock and drop Rush with a DDT. Perhaps lacking sound judgement, Jimmy rolls Hadrian over and makes a lateral press.

 

ONE!

 

 

TW-No!

 

"Shoulder up from Rush Hadrian, and that's not surprising, as he's pretty much been on the offensive for the entire match up until this flurry from Jimmy the Doom," Pete states.

 

"And Doom really should have tagged in Manson when he had the chance," King points out.

 

The Doomtopian turns around and drags himself towards Manson's outstretched hand, while Rush Hadrian gets up. Hadrian walks towards Cortez, but the 'Urban Legend' tells him to stop Jimmy. However, Todd is too late in informing his partner, as the Raging Bull enters the ring and charges down Hadrian. Rush ducks an elbow, but gets caught in a full nelson and swiftly dumped on his back.

 

"Dragon suplex from Manson, and he looks ready to inflict a lot of damage," Pete notes.

 

"But it's Manson, Pete. When does he not look ready to hurt people?" King inquires.

 

Manson hauls Rush off the mat and punches him in the jaw twice before whipping him to the ropes. Hadrian races back towards the Stampede and attempts to leap frog over him, but Manson snags him in mid air and drops the youngster with a powerbomb. The Raging Bull drops a knee across Rush's head and stays down to make a lateral press.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THR-No!

 

"Shoulder up from Hadrian! He really needs to tag in Todd Cortez before Manson breaks him in half, which, considering Manson's track record, would be a good thing," Pete says.

 

"On't-day alk-tay out-bay Ansonosity-may," King mumbles, combining pig Latin with sotto voce.

 

Manson pulls Rush back to his feet, blasts him with a pair of left hooks, then spins around and knocks Hadrian flat with an elbow.

 

CNIDARIAN!

 

The Raging Bull brings down a single vicious stomp to Hadrian's face and keeps his foot planted for a pin.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THRE-No!

 

"And Rush Hadrian gets a shoulder up after that roaring elbow! It's not Danny Williams, but that elbow packed a wallop, and there's no shame in going down to a powerful strike to the head like that," Pete says.

 

"Well, I think Cortez would make him feel shame for losing the match," King notes.

 

Manson picks Hadrian back up, but before the Raging Bull can do anything else, Rush rips his hand free of Manson's grasp and smacks him in the back of the head.

 

LIBIDINOUS!

 

Rush doesn't even both getting to his feet, and simply crawls to Cortez and tags him in. Todd rushes Manson and nails him with a dropkick. The 'Urban Legend' shunts Manson into the ropes and crouches down, looking for a spinebuster, but the Stampede drives a knee into Todd's gut, doubling him over. Manson quickly cinches a front facelock, and then hooks Cortez's leg. The Raging Bull lifts Todd off the mat, spins, and drops him with a suplex which Manson bridges up for a pin.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THRE-No!

 

"Kick out from Todd Cortez after a Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza!" Pete shouts. He then mutters, "Jesus, that's almost as bad as Jimmy the Doom's 73.5267.1094Q80.16."

 

"I thought Hadrian and Cortez had regained the advantage after Rush's enzuigiri, but Manson is made of sterner stuff, it would seem."

 

The Stampede pulls Todd back to his feet and slings the 'Urban Legend' into Manson's own corner. Manson smashes an elbow into Cortez's face, then tags in Jimmy the Doom. Doom steps over the top rope and throws a low dropkick to Todd's knees. Jimmy backs up, charges the 'Urban Legend', plants on Cortez's left thigh, and pushes off, cracking Todd in the jaw.

 

POGROM!

 

"Shining Yak Kick from Jimmy the Doom!" Pete exclaims.

 

"I'm amazed that you're smart enough to think of that on the spot without it being on a card," King replies.

 

Doom pulls the 'Urban Legend' out of the corner and makes a lateral press.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THRE-No!

 

"Shoulder up! Todd Cortez kicked out after nearly getting his brain knocked out of his skull, and now he really needs to tag in Rush Hadrian," Pete says.

 

"That he does, but Manson and Jimmy the Doom might prove to be too overpowering," King adds.

 

Doom picks Todd off the mat and whips him to the ropes. Jimmy scoops Cortez off his feet, turns him upside down, and drops the 'Urban Legend' on Doom's outstretched knee. The Doomtopian scrambles to the top turnbuckle and flips off, grabbing Todd by the head and smashing his face into the canvas.

 

"Top rope moonsault Doom Factor from Jimmy the Doom! This just might put Todd Cortez away!" Pete shouts.

 

"Well, Rush Hadrian isn't exactly dead, so I think it's safe to assume that he'll at least attempt to make a save," King notes.

 

Jimmy rolls Cortez onto his back and makes a lateral press while Hadrian springs over the top rope and races towards the 'Urban Legend' and the Doomtopian

 

ONE!

 

 

The Raging Bull enters the ring and leaps over Todd and Jimmy, ready to intercept Rush.

 

 

TWO!

 

 

Hadrian goes low, brushing past Manson's left leg on his way towards Doom and Cortez.

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

NO!

 

"He made the save! Rush Hadrian broke up the pin just in the nick of time with that baseball slide dropkick!" Pete screams.

 

"Of course, now Manson is going to beat the shit out of him," King states.

 

Adams turns on the Stampede and orders him out of the ring while Hadrian snags an unsuspecting Jimmy the Doom in a front facelock. Rush lifts Doom, spins, and drops Jimmy with a brainbuster . Manson dodges past Bryan Adams and measures Rush for a Western lariat, but Hadrian drops to his stomach, and stays down, rolling under the ropes and retreating back to his corner. With Adams screeching at him about disqualification, Manson stomps back to his corner and proceeds to crush the tag rope in his hand.

 

"This match might have just turned back to Cortez and Hadrian's favor after Rush hit the Thunder Death Driver on Jimmy the Doom," Pete says.

 

"Possibly, MacDougal, but Todd Cortez desperately needs to tag in his partner in order to take advantage of that," King points out.

 

Both men remain on the mat, though Jimmy the Doom slowly begins to stir, despite having recently been kicked in and then dropped on his head. Todd, on the other hand, is showing the signs of his beating, and stays down. The Doomtopian reaches up and tags in the Raging Bull. Manson dips between the ropes and begins stomping at every possible inch of 'Urban Legend' he can find. Bryan Adams is quick to interject himself, though, and forces the Stampede away from Cortez. Manson fumes, but apparently is very intent on winning his pool, or at least making up for bailing on Lockdown, and backs off. Adams moves out of the way, allowing Manson to pull Cortez off the mat and smash a knee into his gut. The Stampede takes a step backwards, then spins, driving an elbow into the back of Todd's head.

 

IMPETIGO!

 

"What a roaring elbow from Manson!"

 

"Don't forget, he had the added advantage of striking Todd from above. Leverage and height are important," King says.

 

Manson glares at Hadrian, blows a snot rocket on Todd's back, and rolls the 'Urban Legend' over for a lateral press.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

Rush climbs into the ring and heads for the Raging bull.

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

Manson rolls off of Cortez and charges at Hadrian, looking for a Western lariat. Rush ducks under, and as Manson spins around, the Stampede finds Hadrian's arms wrapped around his head in a three quarter facelock. Rush tries to yank Manson to the mat with a diamond cutter, but is instead shoved to the ropes. Hadrian collides with the rising Doomtopian, and stumbles back.

 

Right into Manson, who hoists Rush off his feet and holds him up, neck resting on Manson's broad shoulder. The Raging Bull sits out, wrenching Hadrian's neck, and then shoves Rush out of the ring.

 

"Muscle Buster from Manson! There is no way that Rush Hadrian will be stopping Manson or Jimmy the Doom from pinning his partner, so it's down to Todd Cortez to fend for himself!" Pete hollers.

 

"Well, I guess that means Doom and Manson have this match wrapped up," King says.

 

"You never know, King. Todd Cortez has a chance to make off with a win," Pete replies.

 

The Raging Bull turns around to find Cortez still flat on his back, and heads over to change that. Manson pulls the 'Urban Legend' up and whips him to the ropes. The Stampede races for the opposite set, blows past Cortez, hits the ropes, and blindsides Todd from the back.

 

TROGLODYTE!

 

"Not if Manson decapitates him with a Western lariat," King points out.

 

"That is a valid point, but you forget something very important to that argument, King, and that is, your mother," Pete shoots back.

 

"You fucking bastard, that's my line," King grumbles.

 

As Cortez hits his involuntary senton on the mat, Manson plants a meaty hoof on Todd's chest, leaving his hands free to throw the metal horns, while Bryan Adams makes the count (Which, by logic should be academic.).

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THREE!

 

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

"The winners of the match, and pool D, MMAAANSON AND JJIIIMMEEE THE DOOOOM!" Funyon roars.

 

Speaking of roaring, Mastodon's "Crusher Destroyer" roars over the speakers, and Manson, Doom, and Lois the Unethical head back up the ramp, druids marching double time to catch the early bird special at Chez Canadia.

 

"And Jimmy the Doom and Manson have won their pool, meaning...well, how exactly does the Lethal Lottery work? Are they automatically set to go to From the Fire?" Pete asks.

 

"If you don't know, MacDougal, there's no point in asking, as you simply wouldn't be able to comprehend it," King says.

 

"So you don't know either."

 

"Not a fucking clue."

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"Remember The Name" by Fort Minor kicks up over the speakers as the lights in the arena dim. A modest cheer arises from the crowd as none other than Christian Fury steps onto the ramp.

 

Funyon, standing dutifully in the middle of the ring, raises the microphone in hand and announces to the Canadian crowd, "Laaaaaadies and gentlemen! The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is part of the Lethal Lottery tag team tournament.. introducing first! From Cleveland, Ohio, weighing in at two hundred and twenty-two pounds.. Making his way to the ring.. Christiaaaaaan Fuuuuury!"

 

Fury slides into the ring and the white sparklers cascading in the entryway cease to exist. "Remember The Name" fades from the speakers, and the house lights become dark. The haunting guitar tones of "Paint it Black" reverberate through the audience as they all give a resounding cheer.

 

"And his partner, from Bellevue, Nebraska.. weighing in at one hundred and sixty-five pounds.. Mistressss Saraaaaah!!"

 

Bouncing out from behind the curtain, Sarah soaks up the energy from the crowd and poses at the top of the ramp. Pumping a fist into the air, the Mistress jogs down the ramp and slides into the ring as the lights return to normal and "Paint it Black" fades from the speakers.

 

"Mistress Sarah and Christian Fury had a show off this past week. They both seem well rested," comments Longdogger Pete.

 

King returns, "But still very uninterested in this Lethal Lottery, like most of America."

 

LDP chides, "How many times do I have to remind you, eh? We're in Canada."

 

"Please don't. Ever again."

 

The whirring, beeping and buzzing of a super computer starts to play over the PA system, and quickly seguays into "Mr. Roboto" by the Styx. The Canadian crowd boos at the sight of Ghost Machine, who is being wheeled onto the stage and down the ramp by Chris Belcourt. A tub of popcorn gets tossed at Belcourt and he drops the dolly to bat away the foreign object. He watches in mild horror as the dolly rolls down the ramp and Ghost Machine comes to abrupt stop at the ring apron. Chris turns tail and heads backstage while GM tries to unstrap himself.. vaguely resembling a turtle trying to right itself.

 

"Christian Fury and Mistress Sarah are coming off a break in the schedule while Matt Myers is coming off a discouraging loss to newbie 'Rush' Hadrian," explains LDP.

 

"Mr. Roboto" continues to play as Matt "Copycat" Myers enters the arena, to the excited cheer of the Winnipeg crowd. He moves disjointedly, doing the 'robot' all the way down the ramp and into the ring. Ghost Machine remains on his back, strapped to the dolly. His gears buzz and whir as he tries to get up.

 

FURTHER ASSISTANCE REQUIRED. CONTACT CUSTOMER SERVICE.

 

King laments, "What a shame. It appears Ghost Machine won't be able to compete in this match, unless someone stops to help him up!"

 

The referee doesn't appear to care as he motions to Matt and Chris to the center of the ring. He signals the timekeeper and backs up quickly as the match begins.

 

LDP notes, "Funyon is slacking this evening."

 

"Well, I don't know that you can really say that. Ghost Machine has yet to make it to the ring, in order to give Funyon his desired announcement, and I do believe Matt Myers relinquished his announcement rights in order to pick his own gimmick.. I'm sad to say 'Copycat' was the best he could come up with."

 

** DING ** DING ** DING **

 

Myers and Fury tie up in a collar and elbow lock, neither able to effectively out power the other. Myers compensates and feigns a kick, causing Fury to flinch and relinquish his monster grip. Matt takes the opportunity to tighten his hold and twist under, planting Fury with a neckbreaker. The force of the move is hardly enough to keep Chris on the mat, and he's up quickly, only to meet a flying dropkick from Matt Myers! Fury hits the mat and rolls away as Myers drops to his BUTT in an attempted legdrop. Both men are quickly up to their feet, but Myers is faster. He drives a knee into Fury's gut and grabs a handful of pants, slings Fury's arm over his neck and hits a textbook suplex!

 

"Matt Myers is actually showing some technical ability in this matchup," mentions Pete.

 

"He's doing a good job of mimicking the Ghost Machine.. "

 

Fury is a little slowed in his rise to his feet, and is met with quick blows by Myers. Matt grabs an arm and Irish whips Christian across the ring, into the far corner. Sarah leans over the ropes in her corner, clapping to keep Fury alert. Myers charges after and Chris ducks under! Matt slams chest first into the turnbuckle and drops to the mat. Fury quickly ascends the turnbuckle and drops a leg over Myers' chest!

 

"A furious leg drop on Matt Myers, but he's getting up kinda quick.. "

 

King shakes his head, "There are just some things a robot does that cannot be emulated."

 

Myers drops back to a knee, still catching his breath. Fury lands quick chops to Myers' chest and pushes him back into the ropes, then whips him across the ring. Fury bows for a backdrop, but obviously telegraphs the move and gets a kick in the chest! Christian nearly loses his balance, and gets dropped by a quick clothesline from Myers.

 

FURTHER ASSISTANCE REQUIRED!

 

Ghost Machine's call disrupts Matt's train of thought, and he goes over to check on his partner, who is still lying outside the ring. Fury shakes his head, orienting himself. He decides something isn't right and stands, quickly tagging in his partner. Myers turns as he notices his prey escaping and charges the corner.

 

"And Mistress Sarah is in for the first time tonight! Fresh out of the chute, she easily ducks a Myers clothesline and rebounds off the ropes, only to get hoisted into the air! Matt's backdrop is neatly executed, but Sarah somersaults completely off her opponent and lands on her feet! She stumbles forward, however, and falls back to the mat.. clutching her knee. A yowl of pain escapes her lips, and Myers turns. He looks confused at the situation, only a moment before grabbing Sarah's leg free and dropping his knee on top of hers! Sarah cries in pain, practically begging Matt to stop.

 

"Matt Myers is really going to town on the left knee, which Sarah has appeared to have injured.. "

 

Matt maneuvers quickly, setting the Mistress up for a severely painful STF! Sarah swings at Myers before he can roll her over, but he ducks back and then pushes the Mistress on her stomach, tweaking at her left knee. Before Myers realizes that Sarah isn't in the middle of the ring, she quickly grabs hold of the bottom rope, her face contorted in pain. The referee comes in to break up the STF and Myers relinquishes his hold. Sarah shakes her head at the referee as she curls again, holding her knee close to her chest. The referee looks up at the timekeeper, then looks at the back and raises his arms above his head, crossing his forearms in an 'X'.

 

* DING * DING * DING * DING * DING *

 

"Uh, oh, looks like Sarah's actually hurt out there."

 

"It's a ploy, and a tasteless one at that. They're already two on one with Ghost Machine STILL incapacitated outside the ring!"

 

Fury begins to enter the ring, trying to glean some information on why he's stopping the match. Referee Anthony Michael Hall motions Fury back to the apron, and then pushes Matt Myers away, instructing him to finally take care of Ghost Machine. Myers obeys and exits the ring to finally help Ghost Machine off the dolly. At the top of the ramp, four EMTs jog to the ring as the (name) arena gets quiet, a low buzz in the crowd.

 

"Folks, we've got to go to a quick commercial break, and we'll be back, live on Smarkdown."

Edited by chirs3

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'DURING THE BREAK'

 

Peters sits in his office, already going over ratings numbers. His phone rings and he doesn't skip a beat in his report as he picks up the phone.

 

"Peters."

 

 

"What?"

 

He looks up from his reports, a look of worry on his face.

 

"Oh, shit. All right."

 

Joseph hangs up the phone by depressing the button on the base, then lets it go and dials an extension. It rings once before being picked up. "Who's ready to go?" Peters asks. He waits for the person on the other end to list off a few names, then, "He'll do. Tell him to meet me in the ring, NOW." He hangs up the phone and stands, quickly exiting his office.

 

The scene cuts back to the arena, where Fury stands in his corner, a slight look of concern on his face as he shakes his head. Mistress Sarah is nowhere in sight. Matt Myers has finally gotten Ghost Machine into the ring, and Myers has received a harsh circuit-lashing for taking so long. The Canadian crowd, having waited all of two minutes for something to happen, other than Mistress Sarah being taken away on a stretcher, have started to chant.

 

LET'S GET IT ON, LET'S GO, EH!

 

LET'S GET IT ON, LET'S GO, EH!

 

LET'S GET IT ON, LET'S GO, EH!

 

A resounding boo replaces the chant when Joseph Peters appears on the stage, microphone in hand. "I'll make this quick, because I haven't got the time to spend with you northerners. Mistress Sarah has severely injured her knee and cannot continue to compete. I will not see my Lethal Lottery fall to pieces, so Christian Fury must have a replacement. After CAREFUL consideration, his partner will be..

 

 

 

 

'The Perfect Storm' Sean Davis!"

 

 

 

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

 

 

"His reputation precedes him!" squeals LDP!

 

Sean Davis strides out from behind the curtain. He gets no music, no fancy lights, no pyro. He just walks down the ramp, ignoring the fans, his attention focused on the ring. Fury scowls and begins cussing the situation. Davis climbs the steps, enters the ring over the top rope.. then lays Matt Myers the fuck out!! Ghost Machine steps up to retaliate, but is also dropped to the mat with a huge Davis clothesline! Myers is up quickly, but finds himself hoisted into the air in a military press.. and dropped neck-first onto the ring ropes!

 

"Sean Davis is cleaning house!"

 

GM regains his footing and turns to Davis, right into another clothesline! Sean sends Ghost Machine over the ropes and tumbling to the floor like the hunk of junk that he is! Christian Fury bursts into the ring and verbally attacks Sean Davis, pointing a finger into his bare chest. Sean looks down at Fury with disdain and quickly clamps his large hand around Fury's throat, hoisting him into the air and slamming him back to the mat! Fury arches his back with the pain and rolls out of the ring. Davis takes just a second to observe his work, then drops to his knees and picks up Myers' leg. The referee shakes off his astonishment and slides in to count..

 

 

 

ONE!!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!

 

 

"I don't believe what I'm seeing, King!"

 

King answers, "It's certainly a grim future.. "

 

** DING ** DING ** DING **

 

"And your winners.. Christiaaan Furrrry and Seeeean Daviiiiis!!"

 

'Battle Ready' by Otep hits the speakers as the referee cautiously raises Davis' arm in victory. Sean takes a moment to bask in the heat from the Canadian crowd before pulling away from the referee and exiting the ring. He heads up the ramp, his job done. At ringside, Fury looks up from the floor, a look of confusion mixed with one of pure rage..

 

Fade...

Edited by chirs3

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The SWF cameras pan around ringside as the voice of Pete Longdogger cuts in, welcoming viewers back from break.

 

“Well, a full night of action is still ahead,” Pete begins, forgetting to take a breath as he continues to run down the card, “And up next it doesn’t stop, we’ve got the Masked Crusader one on one with Michael Cross, who just came off a difficult loss less than a week ago in a cage match that pitted him against Landon Maddix.”

 

“LANDON,” King exclaims interrupting, “Barely even escaped with his life intact, Cross nearly put him down and escaped for the win. Shows how much talent he’s got if he can’t even put that bum, Cross, away!”

 

“I don’t know how credibly a description of the match that is, King,” Pete butts in, rebutting King’s comments, “And I don’t think Cross is as big of a bum as you portray. Regardless, tonight’s match could be the redemption of Michael Cross, as he has a chance to go on to face Bruce Blank for the Ultra Violent Title. It only gets better for the rookie from here – his partner has won and will be defending the Cruiserweight Title, and the two are one of the early favorites to go on to From the Fire and take on Max King and Maddix in TLC 2! As much as the loss has hindered Cross, it’s all uphill from here.”

 

Just in time, Funyon begins bellowing over the microphone with introductions.

 

“The following is a number one contender’s match for the Ultra Violent Title, and is scheduled for ONE FALL,” Funyon turns from facing the crowd to the entry way, “Making his way to the ring now, hailing from Cairo, Egypt, he is THE MASKED CRUSADER!”

 

 

 

 

The lights cut.

 

“ALLOW ME TO RE-INTRODUCE MYSELF!”

 

“MY NAME IS…”

 

 

 

 

 

*BOOOOOOOOM*

 

Large, maroon pyro goes off igniting the arena in a blaze of light, as the large Masked Crusader steps out of the entry way and onto the ramp. He stands there for a moment and then walks coldly down the ramp and straight to the ring, entering it and standing freakishly alone in the ring.

 

Funyon cuts in as the lights dim back to brightness, Crusader stretching as Funyon announces the his opponent, “And INTRODUCING SECOND, fighting out of The Underground District of Tokyo, Japan, MIIIICHAEL CROSS!”

 

The lights cut as the dark voice in the opening of Omerta by Lamb of God. Cross barely waits for the opening the finish as he comes sprinting down the stage and slides into the ring, the music fading away as the lights cut back on catching a glimpse of the Suicide Machine running towards the Masked Crusader.

 

“A somewhat impromptu start to the match,” Pete relays the sight of Cross running to the ring as he enters the ring, “Cross is already firing at Crusader, even before Blazenwing has entered the ring! WHAT, what just happened, Crusader is down already, his size no match for one THUNDEROUS punch from Cross!” Crusader flops to his BUTT as Cross fires several more shots to the top of MC’s head, “WHAT’S THAT ON HIS HAND?”

 

The cameras zoom in to catch a slight glimmer on the knuckle tape-job on Cross’ right hand, “I think that’s…NO, that can’t be…THAT’S BROKEN GLASS!”

 

The crowd is shocked as Cross fires more and more thunderous right hands, reigning down bombs to his stunned opponent. The crowd gasps as the sudden realism of what’s taped to the outside of Cross’ right fist comes to the attention of the crowd.

 

“Cross is making a very, very non-family-friendly start to his Ultra Violent career,” Pete says stunned at what he’s witnessing.

 

“I think I underestimated Cross, Longdogger,” King sounds completely caught off-guard, as Cross slides out of the ring, Crusader downed temporarily.

 

Cross fishes under the ring and brings out a wide array of weapons; a ladder, three chairs, a broken table, and a trash can somehow make it into the ring as Cross continues to rifle out a trash can lid, a kendo stick, and…

 

“That’s…NO, Cross has broken out a bed of barbed wire,” Pete interrupts, shocked, “Family Friendly or not, Cross has turned the SWF ring into a war zone!”

 

“YES,” King shouts in glee of the weapons scattered inside and outside of the ring, “I have a feel tonight is going to be HIGHLY entertaining!”

 

Cross pushes the bed of barbed wire under the ropes and slides in just in time, as Crusader has managed to recover from the nasty and early strikes from Cross’ shattered glass-taped fist. Cross interrupts him, pushing him forward and into the center of the ring, sent stumbling over a chair and a ladder. Cross walks behind him, kicking two chairs out of the way and picking up a trash can lid. As he rears back to slam the lid-shaped sheet of metal over Crusader’s back, he stumbles, his foot caught in a rung of the ladder giving Crusader ample time to turn in time to catch his opponent’s sloppy attempt. He swats the lid out of Cross’ hand grabs the right fist angrily, tearing at the tape. Cross shakes it off and manages to escape the rung, running from the favored size of the Masked Crusader.

 

“Crusader is prying away at that tape,” Pete’s words piercing the ears in concern, “That tape is dangerous, and Crusader wants nothing to do with it.”

 

MC makes his way over a couple of objects which have been kicked into oddly neat piles around the ring and out of the way for the time being. Cross turns quickly and whips the back of his hand at Crusader who is caught with a crushing back hand slap that sends him turn on his feet, the glass tearing at the fabric of the black and maroon mask on his face. Cross follows up with a quick jab that sends Crusader stumbling back and onto his BUTT, stunning him again as he looks to the ropes for a hand in getting back up. Cross uses the slight amount of time offered up to him to kick the bed of barbed wire to the center of the ring, Crusader now slumping back to his feet.

 

“Cross is looking to make use of that bed of barbed wire,” Pete’s voice continues to exalt concern for Crusader who stumbles his way towards Cross on shaky legs, “Crusader better watch out!”

 

Cross thrusts another glassy fist into the mask of Crusader who feels its effects, stumbling back and just inches away from the barbed wire.

 

“NO!”

 

Cross fires off the ropes and shoots his weight at Crusader who stumbles back now, directly over the bed. Mike pauses a moment and then fires off the ropes at Crusader for a second time, this time, though, Crusader powers forward sending Cross back, his legs still shaky though. Cross waits a moment, looking up at the mountain of a man, and then attempts another run at the mammoth, this time met with a hand that scoops between his legs and brings him up into a grasp, Crusader holding him and then turning to face the bed. Cross yells as the fans rise to their feet in shock.

 

“WOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

 

But just as Mike is about the be slammed, he slips over the shoulder of Crusader, quickly landing on his feet. He guns to the ropes for a FOURTH time, and attempts a bull dog to the slow moving Crusader, who ducks, sending Cross forward into a sitting position on the barbed wire!

 

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!”

 

“Cross just SAT right on the barbed wire,” Longdogger screams out, “It could’ve been worse, but I’m not sure this is much better!”

 

“OH,” King laughs out loud, “HAHA, that kid nearly castrated himself on those barbs!”

Cross scoots his BUTT forward, howling in pain, as he thrusts his hips outward, placing one hand on his but sympathetically. Crusader follows around to the other side and picks up Cross who continues to howl in pain, holding his rear end.

 

“Looks like Cross is the BUTT of the joke!” King blurts out a pun, much to the viewers and Pete’s dismay.

 

Crusader whips Cross to the corner and turns to the broken table lying near the apron by the corner. He puts one foot down and bends over, breaking off a smaller chunk of wood, and then turning back to Cross. He looks around and then lifts the piece of wood over his head, the crowd looking on, stunned. Too late, though, as Cross delivers a thrusting haymaker to the side of Crusader who keels over in agony, the glass shards slashing a piece of latex away from the black body suit that covers MC. Cross turns away from Crusader and runs to the ropes away from the corner he was just in, slinging from them and aiming towards Crusader. He lifts his hand and launches into the air, looking to slam his right fist into Crusader’s head. Crusader desperately turns and drags the piece of wood up and over his shoulder, crushing into the face of Cross and literally shattering, sending splinters and pieces of wood scattering across the ring, as Cross falls to his face near a steel chair.

 

“WOW,” King begins laughing again, the violence in the ring appealing to him, “Cross is good for something other than attempting to destroy Landon after all! If this kid keeps eating punishment, he could be in store for a major push! I could put in a good word for him, ha!” Pete looks on, ignoring King’s comments.

 

Cross begins moving, the shot only momentarily fazing him. Crusader turns and picks up the trash can, as Cross gets to his knees. Crusader turns and cans Cross, who shimmies to his BUTT, trying to escape the confines of the can. Crusader turns and picks up a chair near the apron, Cross awkwardly attempting to stand to his feet. He stumbles around, and then turns full force into a HUGE chair shot that sends him falling to his back, Blazenwing jumping in shock as Cross is quickly sent to his back.

 

“OOOOOOOOOH!”

 

The crowd’s response says it all, as Mike begins to fidget slightly, his new position allowing him to slide out of the dented can and away from any Closter phobic fears he might have. Crusader drops the chair and drags the rookie to his feet, emphasizing the dragging part, as Cross uses one hand to rub his head and the other to hold his bum, still aching from the drop on the thorn-like wire earlier in the match. Crusader ducks a sloppy swing attempt from Cross and pulls him up and onto his shoulders. He walks around the ring, and then stops as he comes face to face with the bed of barbed wire. He pauses looking freakishly strong, and then drops Cross off his shoulders with a thud to the mat. He picks up the bed and walks grimly to the corner, propping it up. He turns back to Cross, who has once again managed to gather his bearings and return to his feet. Crusader ducks another sloppy striking attempt – Cross’ glass-taped right fist making his punching predictable. He grabs the punching arm and once again lifts Cross up and over his shoulders. Cross, knowing what’s coming, rolls through and flips oddly off the shoulders of Crusader and back to his feet, turning and striking Crusader in the cheek with a gruesome right fist. Crusader stumbles slightly allowing Mike to grab a hold on his left arm. He pulls Crusader forward and flops to his stomach, sending him running towards the board of barbed wire propped up in the corner. Crusader comes face to face with it, but manages to catch himself, stumbling almost right into it. Cross gets to his feet seeing Crusader teetering towards the board and guns at Crusader. Crusader turns and catches Cross, monkey flipping him high and over his shoulder, crashing down into the board and breaking it nearly in half.

 

“OH MY,” Pete’s voice shouts out, “Holy SHIT!”

 

At that, the crowd follows behind Pete.

 

“HOLY SHIT!”

“HOLY SHIT!”

“HOLY SHIT!”

 

Cross rolls out of the corner and to the center of the ring, stumbling and crawling around the ring as he rubs his back, little spurts of blood dripping from pore-like holes left from the puncturing barbs.

 

“HA,” King’s voice once again jumps in with excitement, “This kid is GREAT!”

 

Crusader sulks around and turns Cross over, as Blazenwing slowly gets to his knees looking grossed out to make the count.

 

“This HAS to be it!” exclaims Pete.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR…NO!?!?!?

 

“How the HELL,” King shouts out angrily, “HOW?”

 

“Cross…” Pete looks on an utter awe, unaware of what to say, “…Cross KICKED OUT!”

 

Crusader looks confused, as Cross rolls over. He stands as Blazenwing shows him two fingers, responding as the crowd cheers loudly.

 

“I can’t believe that just happened,” Pete exclaims, still in shock, “I…this kid is beyond resilient, folks!”

 

Cross rolls to the ropes as Crusader walks Blazenwing back to a corner, Blazenwing shriveling away as Crusader stands over him.

 

“Crusader better watch his back.”

 

Cross manages to drag his torn body up to his feet as Crusader turns slowly. He stands firmly as the crowd cheers him on. Cross turns to face Crusader who launches a hooking punch at his head. Cross ducks, rolling under the attempt. He lands near one of Crusader’s legs and punches his glassy fist to the inside of Crusader’s calf, sending him slouching around the ring, attempting to cure his cut calf. Cross gets to his feet slowly and breaths before going to a chair. Crusader turns and stumbles towards Cross who crushes the chair right over his skull, Crusader slumping over and nearly falling, his mass attempting to drag him down. Cross rears back and delivers another CRUSHING blow.

 

“OOOH! ONE MORE!”

 

The crowd demands it and Cross sends Crusader to his ass, cracking him one last time over the head.

 

*CRRRRRRRRRRACK*

 

“OHHHHHH!”

 

“Cross just CRUSHED the skull of the Masked Crusader,” Pete’s voice echoes loudly, “This should be it!”

 

“No,” King demands, as Cross responds, “This kid wants more!”

 

Cross attempts to drag Crusader to his feet, using the ropes to balance as Crusader sulks back up. Cross pushes him back near the corner where the barbed wire board lays in shambles, sending Crusader stumbling. Crusader attempts to swing, but Cross undermines him and sends him back first into the barbs with a NASTY upper cut that sends some shards and I’m sure bits of teeth flying. Crusader crawls out in agony, bits of wire clinging to his back as the board lays in pieces. Cross takes advantage and follows behind, crushing him as he crawls with thunderous right hands to the face, Crusader falling to his belly, his head having been clearly worked on, despite the short amount of time elapsed in the match.

 

“I’m not sure how much longer Crusader can take punishment to his head!”

 

Cross pulls Crusader’s body suit slightly pulling him back to his knees as he crawls. He pulls him towards the corner, and lets him sit, catching his breath as he turns away to dig through some of the weapons. Cross grabs two chairs, one of them with a dent the size of Crusader’s head in it. He sets the first one up and then the second, facing the first. He grabs the ladder and places the tops of the chairs through the rungs, creating a table-like ladder near the corner as Crusader drags himself to his feet.

 

“Cross appears to be setting something up,” Pete informs the audience, still shocked at the carnage that has come with the match, even as short as it’s been, “Crusader can’t be all here, his head has got to be pounding, and I think Cross is going for the finish RIGHT NOW!”

 

Cross walks to Crusader and punches him twice straight in the face with quick jabs. Crusader stumbles out of the corner slightly, as Cross slips in behind him and climbs up to the third rope, sitting down. He pulls Crusader back and locks him in a dragon sleeper. The cameras zoom in on Cross, who smiles.

 

“BRUCE FUCKIN’ BLANK…” Cross seems incoherent, “BRUCE BLANK! PAY ATTENTION, BRUCE!”

 

Cross’ rambling allows Crusader to stop him, but to no avail, as Cross tightens his grip sending Crusader stumbling back, despite lifting Cross from the top rope. Mike squeezes tightly, then turns to the ropes, and runs up them. He gets to the top and pauses slightly, pushing away and then twisiting and dropping Crusader face and neck first over the ladder which collapses the chairs sending shrills of excitement throughout the crowd.

 

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! HOLY SHIT!”

“HOLY SHIT!”

“HOLY SHIT!”

 

“Cross JUST NAILED Crusader with the Silent Rage Syndrome,” Pete pauses to breath, “USING ELEVATION AND LEVERAGE FROM THE TOP ROPE! AND ONTO A FREAKIN’ LADDER!”

 

The crowd continues to cheer as Cross rolls Crusader from the remains and lays his shredded body over his. Blazenwing slides down to make the cover.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO…!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEE!

 

“Cross did it,” Pete shouts, “He’s going on to face Blank for the Ultra Violent Title! Asia Underground is about to have shot at yet even MORE gold here in the SWF!”

 

The crowd responds as the lights go out. They remain out for several moments, and when they cut back on, Cross is nowhere to be found, the only remains left being Crusader’s and a sign with writing on it, the camera zooming in to read it.

 

“Bruce Blank is about to be the next casualty of the Underground,” Pete reads utterly confused, “What does this mean for Bruce Blank, and more importantly, does this have to do with the Asia Underground, or is this more mind games from the semi-delusional Michael Cross.”

 

The SWF cameras cut to the next segment with the crowd and Pete, as well as King left in shock and silence.

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"Later on tonight in our much altered main event, Jay Hawke and Landon Maddix will be on opposite teams..."

 

"Assuming it's not been changed for the seventh time and we just haven't been informed." King cuts in.

 

"Yes. Well, assuming that, Hawke and Maddix will be on opposite teams. Cucaracha Internacional as a 'stable', if you will, is pretty much dead and buried considering JJ Johnson is gone and you can hardly call two men a 'stable'. But earlier this week, we're informed that Landon re-entered training with Jay. Rumours were that Landon had been shriking training quite a bit recently, but the fact that he's back in training must mean that finally, The Next Generation has regained his focus."

 

"Well, it's a good thing." admits King, as Pete prepares himself for the SWERVE~! "It can only benefit Landon...because, God knows he needs all the training he can get!"

 

"And, there it is..."

 

"Huh?"

 

"Oh, nothing. So, anyway, we understand that Benjamin Hardy is backstage with Landon right now, so let's take you there."

 

 

 

"Well, Landon tonight it's six man tag team action and you must have plenty of misgivings about one of your opponents being Jay Hawke." begins Benjamin.

 

"To be honest, I've got more misgivings over who's on MY team, let alone my opponents." Landon replies flippantly. "But, you and I both know I'm not here to talk about that."

 

"Uhm...well, on my runsheet, it says to talk to you about toni..."

 

"We're working by a different runsheet now." smiles Landon sweetly...

 

 

 

...masking the fact that Amy Stephens is sneaking up behind the weedy announcer and pitching him off out of screen. Trying his best to ignore the bloodcurdling scream that follows, Landon calmly picks up Benjamin's abandoned microphone. "See, what you all seem to forget is...I DON'T CARE! Tonight, I'm teaming up with Max King for the first time since we won the Tag Team Titles. Reason being, I don't give a crap about Max King and I don't give a crap about the World Tag Team Titles. Tonight, I'm also teaming with the number one contender, one Wes Davenport. I haven't spoken to Wes at all yet...reason being, Wes Davenport is the Clusterfuck Champion and I'm not...oh, yeah, and of course because I don't give a crap about tonight."

 

Landon sneers, looking to Amy Stephens who stands with arms folded behind him, leant against the wall behind.

 

"So, I walk out to the ring and get stuck in a six man tag. Don't get me wrong, if someone reaches out their hand, I'm gonna tag myself in. And I'm gonna run through whoever's in front of me...including, if it comes to it, Jay Hawke. It's nothing personal...it's strictly business. And that business right now consists of one thing and one thing only...and that's sending a signed, sealed, personal message to one Michael Stephens."

 

Amy looks a little surprised to hear Landon refer to her brother by her real name...after all, no wrestler she's ever met has done that. It's all "Hey, you're Toxxic's sister, right" or "Hey, I hope you find Toxxic soon". No-one she's met has really had the need to make things so personal though.

 

"Win, lose or draw tonight, it doesn't matter. All that matters is you, 'Toxx'. I assume you saw what I did to Michael Cross and assuming you did, hopefully you got the message. See, until you do come back, people are going to suffer. The reason that Michael Cross left the ring on Lockdown with a near broken nose is you. The reason that I peeled the skin from Michael Cross' hands like skin from a potato...is you, Toxxic. And the reason I spiked Cross on his face with the Toxxic...or, should that be, Maddix Shock Syndrome...well, it's you Toxxic. The thing I hope that's getting across to you and to the SWF officials is that quite frankly, I DON'T CARE. See, I shout that part so that the point gets across. Clever, huh? I don't care anymore. The consequences simply do not matter. Fines, suspensions, de-pushes. Not a problem. Losing people's respect? Hell, I've been losing that for the past 12 months, what do I care anymore? The only thing that I care about is you coming back to the SWF and giving me one more shot. One more match. And until you do, every injury that I inflict and every bit of pain someone suffers at my hands shall be solely placed upon your conscience."

 

Looking straight into the camera lens with his finger pointed right down the barrel, Landon takes a moment to compose himself.

 

"When you dropped me on my head at From The Fire, you showed weakness. You showed remorse. You showed remorse because you didn't want to be responsible for the end or ruin of another person's career, because you didn't want to be a heartless psychopath like Nathaniel Kibagami. You showed compassion, you showed you had a heart."

 

Landon forces a smile onto his face.

 

"I hope you can live with injuries on your conscience. I hope that when you go about your everyday business, you don't think of just how much it must have hurt Michael Cross to have his hand GRATED down that steel cage, to have the flesh torn from his knuckles. I hope too that you aren't haunted by the mental pain of having symbols of that oh, so honourable Straight Edge lifestyle you obey symbolically torn away from one of your fellow followers. See, everything I do from now on is your responsibility, Mike. So, it's your choice. You can sit back and you can watch innocent people suffer...or, you can prove you're not an uncaring bastard. You can have compassion. You can have a soul. You can come back to the SWF and put everyone out of their misery, before I do something to someone that YOU will really, really regret."

 

Closing in even closer on the camera, Landon makes sure, far too sure, that his message gets across.

 

"On your head be it."

 

Throwing the mic off screen, Maddix walks off with Amy not exactly close in tow, but in tow regardless.

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 

Footage from Lockdown plays in black and white. The Smarktron plays the footage of Zyon tapping out from Akira's cross knee-lock, giving Akira the cruiserweight title.

 

" . . . And if you save yourself, you will make him happy"

 

The mellow guitar riffs, from Nirvana's "Sappy" play, but soon pick up and get hard.

 

"HE'LL KEEP YOU IN A JAR, AND YOU'LL THINK YOU'RE HAPPY!"

 

Akira Kaibatsu, bearing his new golden Cruiserweight belt, comes out of the curtain, with his stable mate, Mr. Kobe.

 

"Now, this is a sticky situation" Pete starts. "Spike and Zyon are teaming in the Lethal Lottery, got me."

 

King knows the whole thing, but he plays along. "Gotcha."

 

"But then Zyon won the world title, but wouldn't give Spike a shot. Something about staying foucused."

 

"And then Spike called Zyon a Gaylord." King chortles.

 

"Right. So Spike goes to Joe Peters, and gets a #1 contenders match set up, and by the end of the nigh, Zyon wasn't even Cruiserweight champ!"

 

By the end that sequence, Incubus' Vitamin has been playing for some time now, and both Zyon and Akira have made their entrance. Funyon grabs a microphone and stands in the center of the ring.

 

"The following CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE MATCH is a standard singles match, decided by ONE FALL!" A man with an earpiece comes up Funyon, and whispers in his ear.

"I'm sorry, ladies and gentleman. The following is a DOUBLE THREAT MATCH!" Funyon smiles after he says it. Funyon has to explain the rules though, and he realizes he has no idea what they are. He turns to the man, who whispers in his ear again. Funyon pulls away and gives the man an eye roll.

 

"The rules for Double threat matches are as follows: EXACTLY THE SAME AS SIIIINGLESSS"

 

Pete shills, "This crowd is hot for one of SWF's great new gimmick match!"

"The challenger, and former champion from Ekhart India . . . THE UNIQUE YOUTH, ZYYYYYOOOOON!" Funyon's baritone blasts over the PA system.

 

"And the CHAAAAMPIIION . . . from Sendai Japan, brought to the ring by Mr. Kobe, THE DIIIVVVIIIINEEEEE WIND . . . AKIRRRRRRAAAAA KAAAIIBAATSUUUUUUUUU!"

 

King laughs, "Do you think they'll shake hands before the match?"

 

DING DING DING

 

 

Akira and Zyon approach each other, and put a collar and elbow tie up in. Zyon powers the lockup into a side headlock. Zyon tightly squeezes, and then takes the head lock off, grabbing Akira's left arm, and wrenching it. Kaibatsu grimaces, but then turns the tables, spinning clockwise, putting Zyon in his own arm wrench. Zyon can feel the sting in his arm, but acts smoothly. He drops down to his back, and maneuvers his legs to the left side of Akira's arm. Then we get gets up, Akira's arm is now the one wrenched again.

 

"Bwuh?! Zyon with mat work?" King is baffled.

 

Zyon turns the arm wrench into a hammerlock. Zyon applies pressure for a second or two, but then rotates Akira so he faces him, before bringing him to the ground with a double leg take down. Zyon gets down to the ground, and grabs Akira's right arm, wrenching it as he places his knee on Akira's face. Kaibatsu pushes Zyon' knee off his skull with his free hand, and makes his way to his feet with the arm wrench still in tact.. Akira spins around in a circle, turning the arm wrench around into a hammerlock. Akira takes his foot and digs it into the knee joint of Zyon, sending him to the ground. Akira lets go of Zyon's arms, and puts in an ankle lock, which Zyon quickly gets to the ropes for.

 

Both men approach each other again, and lock up collar and elbow style. Zyon turns slightly, locking his arms around Akira's head, for a 3/4 chauncery headlock. Akira grabs at Zyon's hands, and pries them loose of his head. He takes them, spins around Zyon's back, and gets right back where he started—but he puts the 3/4 headlock on Zyon this time.

 

"Very crafty chain-wrestling from Akira." Pete calls the action.

 

Akira throws Zyon forward, looking for a snapmare, but Zyon uses his great balance to land on his feet. Zyon swiftly grabs Akira's right arm, and puts in a key lock. Zyon kicks Akira's left shin, and he falls to the ground, stomach first. Zyon takes the key lock, and wraps his foot around Akira's arm, and pulls back with his legs, letting go with his arms.

 

 

"What the hell is THAT?" asks Pete.

 

King answers in his know-it-all voice "Well, it's . . . quite obviously . . . well . . . back in 1991 this move, uhh . . . woah, look at what he's doing with it!"

 

King is distracting Pete, but he isn't lying. Zyon reaches forward, and grabs both of Akira's feet, and crosses them. He pulls them back Boston Crab style.

 

King gives Pete a look. "Don't even ask."

 

Akira's alto voice screeches in pain, as he climbs the canvas forward, reaching at the rope. He twiddles his fingers reaching for it. Referee Nick Soapdish asks Akira if he'd like to give up.

 

King mumbles to himself "…little early for that…"

 

Akira shakes his head, and keeps crawling closer to the rope. Zyon squeezes tighter, and Akira's drive to make it to the rope increases Akira's drive to get to the rope, and he squirms his way just close enough to get there.

 

"Zyon almost had him there, early in the match" Pete says.

 

 

Both men back into their corner, and then come right back toward each other. Zyon offers up a Greco-Roman knuckle lock, and Akira accepts. Zyon once again goes to his back. He kicks up, hitting Akira's hand, making it a one handed lock. He then spins to his right, sweeping his foot out, hitting the back of Akira's calf. Zyon keeps Akira's arm though, and puts in a key lock.

 

"Zyon is out wrestling Akira. Flat out." King puts down the champ.

 

"We don't see that often." Pete responds.

 

"No, we don't. Even in losing efforts, Kaibatsu normally does a good job wrestling."

 

Zyon slowly lifts up Akira, still keeping the arm. Zyon twists around Akira's back with it, putting in a hammerlock. After a healthy squeeze in the hammerlock, Zyon let's go of his arms, and puts in a side headlock.

 

Akira backs up into the ropes with his head in Zyon's grasp. He bounces Zyon off the ropes, and sends him flying off the headlock. Zyon hits the ropes, and comes back with a shoulder block, sending Akira to the ground. Zyon tries to run to the ropes adjacent with where Akira lies, but Akira grabs his foot, tripping him when he runs. Kaibatsu gets right back up, and runs at the fallen Zyon. Akira jumps into the air, for an elbow drop, but Zyon gets up quickly, causing Akira to miss.

 

Zyon picks up Akira by the mask, and wrenches Akira's arm again. Akira's mask reveals his twisted facial expression from the pain, but Akira counters this pain with overhand chops with his free hand. Akira throws his small but stinging chest slaps at the challenger. After three or four more, he runs at the ropes with the arm wrench he's in. He backflips off the 3rd rope, giving him enough momentum to reverse the arm wrench into an arm drag.

 

Both men get up right away. Zyon comes charging right at Akira, which was foolish, because he was simply hit with another arm drag. Once again, this isn't enough to keep anyone down, so they get up right away. Akira runs at Zyon, but Zyon plants his feet, not allowing Akira to hit another arm drag. Instead, Zyon spins, and throws Akira into the ropes. Kaibatsu bounces back, and sunset flips over Zyon, for a pin.

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOO!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THROLLOUT!

 

"Not quite there yet" Pete says.

 

Zyon rolls backwards, but before he can take the backwards roll to his feet, Akira grabs at his arms. He wraps them around his legs, and rotates, so Zyon is now on his back. Akira then gets on a knee.

 

"King, name for this submission?" Pete is having trouble calling this match. King is also apparently sick of that question.

 

Akira screams something in Japanese, and starts to clap his hands. The fans in Winipeg pop for both men. Another split crowd.

 

It's about now Akira realizes he can roll to his left and be in the exact pin situation he was before. He does so, but Zyon must have been thinking the same thing, because he kicked out before a count was even started.

 

After the not-so-near count, both men back into a corner, and the duel chants erupt.

 

 

"A-KIR-A! A-KIR-A!"

 

"LET'S GO ZYON CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP!"

 

Both men face each other in the center of the ring, and put in a collar and elbow tie up. Akira and Zyon fight for power in the hold, but eventually Zyon wins, and knocks Akira to the ground by his mask. Zyon then throws a viscous kick to Akira's back.

 

Zyon picked up Akira by the mask, and grabbed a hold of his arm. He Irish whipped him into the ropes. When he bounced back, Zyon attempted a flapjack, but Akira revealed his poise and ring awareness, reversing it into a hurricanerana.

 

Zyon backs away into a turnbuckle, and Akira follows him there, throwing elbows along the way. Zyon takes one elbow that sends him moving to the turnbuckle next to the one he was in at first. Once there, Akira tries another elbow, but Zyon blocks it. Zyon then tries a forearm of his own, but Akira blocks that. Kaibatsu then takes Zyon by the hand and whips him to the turnbuckle. Kaibatsu soon follows Zyon, running at the turnbuckle. Zyon ducks, and pushes up upon Akira's arrival, sending him to the outside apron. Zyon turns to his side, and grabs Akira's mask. He drops to his feet, choking Akira on the ropes.

 

Akira manages to stay on the apron, by holding on to the ropes, but Zyon is quickly out of the ring, and on the apron beside Akira. Zyon grabs the top rope with both hands, and shakes it backwards, catapulting Akira off the apron.

 

 

"Sends him right into the guard rail!" Pete roars.

 

Zyon quickly jumps off the apron, and grabs Akira, who is slowly getting up on his own, but is fully lifted by Zyon. The Unique Youth tosses him into the ring. Zyon climbs up to the ring apron, and then ascends to the turnbuckle. Akira is slowly making his way to his feet. In a second or two, he gets up to his left knee, but he'll go no further, because Zyon took a leap off of the turnbuckle, sending a flying knee right to Akira's head!

 

"Son of a—" King cuts himself off. "Are we going to see this guy do any REAL wrestling? Spot monkey . . ." King ignores the first part of the match.

 

Zyon makes a lazy cover, hooking the leg, but not tightly.

 

 

 

 

ONE!!

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRNOTENOUGH!

 

 

"OOH! Not quite, there." Pete says.

 

Zyon just keeps right on moving, as if he had planned the kick out in a strategy. He wraps his calves around Akira's neck, squeezing.

 

"Now THAT'S wrestling, Pete. Nice triangle choke." Contradictions galore, from King in this match,

 

Zyon keeps his feet around Akira's head, as he turns over, so he's on his stomach. He lifts his knees up in the air, and slams them down with authority. Some may know this as Alex Shelly's skull fuck, but Akira simply knows is as painful.

 

With each and every time a slam to the mat, King and Pete simultaneously groan "Ohhhhh!".

 

Akira rolls on the ground, rubbing his forehead in pain. Zyon quickly gets up, and gives Akira a good stomp in the head. Zyon picks him up by the mask, after that, and gives him one big knife edged chop. This chop sends Akira back a few steps, and into the turnbuckle. Zyon grabs Akira by the mask, with his left hand, and with his right plays the crowd.

 

 

"RAAAAAAHHHHHHH"

 

And then Zyon starts to slam Akira's head into the turnbuckle. One after another.

 

"Just goes to show ya, King" Pete starts, "These fans love Zyon so much, he can get away with dirty tactics like this, and get cheered."

 

Zyon then throws a quick elbow to Akira's face, and puts Akira in a front facelock. He puts his arms over his head, and flips Akira in the air, for a nice snap suplex, floating over for a cover.

 

"Could do it!" says King.

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOO!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRNOOO

 

Akira rolls his shoulder up. Kaibatsu quickly crawls to the corner, but Zyon is on him like white on rice. He clubs Akira's back with his fists, and picks him up. The Unique Youth whips Akira to the opposite turnbuckle. The padded steel corner hits Akira's spine hard. Zyon comes running at Akira in the turnbuckle, but Akira reacts quickly, and hits a drop toehold on Zyon, sending him into the middle buckle.

 

Zyon's forehead lies on the middle buckle, slowly recovering. Akira plays the crowd, motioning with his hands for them to get loud. He runs at the turnbuckle, and springs up with his hand. He's doing a full handstand, before he slides down, double stomping Zyon into the turnbuckle.

 

"A-KIR-A! A-KIR-A!"

 

"LET'S GO ZYON! CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP!"

 

Akira bops his head up and down with the chant of his name, despite it poorly clashing with the opposing Zyon chant. He lifts Zyon by the hair. Akira seems to be bopping his head again, but it's really just a big headbutt!

 

"Oooh . . . vicious headbutt." Pete grimaces.

 

Akira grabs Zyon by the arm, and tries to Irish Whip him, but Zyon plants his feet, steadily. Zyon then pulls Akira in towards him, and elevates him up onto his shoulders. Zyon flips Akira off his shoulders, with Akira's neck landing on Zyon's knee.

 

"Ahhhhhh. Elevated fireman's carry neckbreaker!" Pete gets technical.

 

"Zyon does seem to be targeting the head and neck area, Pete." King adds.

 

Zyon picks up Akira by the mask again, and throws an elbow his way. Then he scoop slams Akira. Zyon takes a mini jump, and leg drops Akira.

 

"Yep, I think you're right, King. That's another move to the head area." Pete says, as Zyon makes a cover.

 

 

 

 

ONEEE!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOO!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRALLMOSST!

 

 

"Whoo, that almost ended it, eh King?" Pet's just sitting back and enjoying the great match. A little break from his serious bid'ness.

 

 

Akira starts to get up, but Zyon keeps on the offensive. He locks a cravate on Akira, and snaps forward for a snapmare. Zyon then takes a step to the ring apron, once again is playing to the fans. Zyon jumps over the ropes, shooting his legs out to the left, turning horizontal in mid-air, dropping an elbow on Akira, for a slingshot elbow drop.

 

Zyon goes for a cover, hooking a leg.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ONEEEEE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOO

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRROLLSTHESHOULDER!

 

 

Zyon isn't discouraged though. The fans egg him on. The Unique Youth lifts Akira again, and tucks his head under his armpit. Zyon lifts Akira up vertically, but Akira spins, and falls behind Zyon.

 

"Akira reverses the suplex" Pete calls

 

Akira grabs Zyon's shoulders, and spins him around, then Akira swiftly takes Zyon down with an STO, that takes the starch outta both men.

 

" . . . Akira starting a come back maybe?" King questions.

 

Both men are lying on the ground, so Soapdish starts up a 10 count.

 

ONEEE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOO!

 

By a count of 6, both men have gotten to their feet. Zyon let's out an Indian scream, and forearms Akira square in the head. Akira wont take any of that from Zyon though, and he whips an elbow right between Zyon's eyes. The Unique Youth comes right back at Akira with another fore arm. He then runs towards the ropes, bounces back, and before Zyon can even start the running attack he's looking for, he's hit with an elbow from Akira!

 

Akira runs at the ropes, and bounces right back off. He baseball slides through Zyon's legs, and then jumps over Zyon's doubled over body, slamming his head on the ground when he jumps!

 

"Fantastic modified bulldog!" Pete screams.

 

Akira decided not to go for the cover though. He picks up Zyon by the hair, and toe kicks him right in the gut doubling him over.. Akira screams in Japanese, before running to the ropes, and bouncing off. Akira leaps forward, planting his knee on Zyon's neck, sending him straight to the ground. Akira goes for a cover, hooking a leg.

 

 

 

 

 

 

ONE!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRALMOST!

 

 

Zyon rolls his shoulder over, and crawls away from Akira. Akira goes right to the turnbuckle though, climbing to the top. When Zyon finally reaches his feet, the first thing he sees is a muscular Asian man flying right at him.

"Akira with a flying tomohawk chop sends Zyon right back to the ground!" Pete screams.

 

…And Zyon does go back to the ground, and Akira did hit a picture perfect Flying tomohawk. Akira picks up Zyon, and backs him up into the ropes. Akira headbutts Zyon, and Zyon rubs his head in pain from it. Then Akira takes Zyon's arm, and tries to Irish Whip him, but Zyon reverses it, sending Akira into the ropes. Akira bounces back, and tries to make the best of the reversal, so he attempts a cross body. The situation gets worse though, because Zyon caught the cross body, and swung Akira to his left, hitting a modified Decline!

 

"That's a new way to do it, but it's just as effective!" King says.

 

Zyon quickly makes a cover, hooking the leg closest to the ropes.

 

 

 

 

ONEEE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOO

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRKICKSOUT!

 

 

Akira just manages to roll his shoulders up and out of Zyon's attempt. Zyon picks up Akira by his mask, but Akira throws a punch at Zyon's got on the way up, giving him the advantage. Akira grabs both of Zyon's arms, and crosses them around his neck. He then puts in a reverse cravate, and slams Zyon's neck down on his knee over and over.

 

"Oww, an odd backbreaker, right there, King" Pete calls.

 

Akira quickly gets up, and backs up into a corner, stalking Zyon. Zyon slowly gets up, and Akira starts to run. He throws his elbow out, and hands out a painful roaring elbow. Zyon gets knocked backwards, but trying his hardest not to fall down. He throws an unbalanced punch at Akira, but Akira blocks it with his forearm, and stuffs his head between his legs. Butterflies the arms, and swings Zyon out.

 

"Plants Zyon's face with It Came From Sendai!" Pete screams.

 

King offers his historical info, "Well, actually the move came from Fayetteville North Carolina, as the move was act—"

 

"We don't want to hear it, King."

 

Akira makes the cover, hooking a leg.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ONEEE!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"This is gonna be it!" shouts Pete.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"What about Spike?" King tries to squeeze in

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"THREEENOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

 

"Oh my god, that was close, King!"

 

Akira picks up Zyon by the hair, and puts him in the cravate, starting to run.

 

"Divine Wind . . ." Pete drags on

 

 

"No! blocked!" King says

 

 

King is right, too. Zyon has pushed Akira's arms off his head, escaping the cravate. Zyon then grabs Akira, and turns him around. He stuffs Akira's head under his armpit, and lifts him up vertically, and drops him on his head.

 

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOH!" King roars. "It's Zyon's patent Snap brainbuster!

 

Zyon goes for the pin, hooking the leg, and holds his hand up in the air, counting along with Soapdish.

 

 

ONEEEEE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOO

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THROSOCLOSE!!!

 

 

 

 

"Close, but no cigar, for Zyon." King says.

 

"Talking about cigars, I'll take your word for it."

 

 

Zyon picks Akira up by the mask, and drives him into the corner with his shoulder, Zyon throws a knife edged chop at Akira, and then sets him up at the top of the turnbuckle. Zyon climbs up as well.

 

"High risk move here . . ."Pete says.

 

 

Akira wont let Zyon attempt any sort of Avalanche move though. He headbutts Zyon, hoping he would fall off, but this is not the case. Zyon fights back, elbowing Akira's temple. Akira stretches the battle even longer, grabbing Zyon's head with his hands, and headbutts Zyon until he can no longer stay up. Akira then let's go, and watches Zyon drop to the canvas in front of him. Akira lifts up his arm, playing the crowd. He leaps off the turnbuckle, falling backwards. His back dumps right into Zyon's stomach, curling Zyon's body upwards from pain. Zyon starts to cough loudly.

 

Akira makes a cover, hooking both of Zyon's legs. Nick Soapdish's hands hit the mat slower than ever for Akira, but all too fast for Zyon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ONEEEEEE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOOOOO

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Gonna end it"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEESOOOCLOSEEEEE!

 

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

 

"Listen to this crowd King!" Pete tries to be loud enough so King can hear him. Yes, King, right next to him. The crowd is really getting into this match."

 

Akira picks up Zyon by the hair, not so much frustrated, but upset. Akira puts Zyon in the cravate, and runs up the turnbuckle. Akira flips backwards, but Zyon grabs hold of Akira's back, and guides Akira to landing on his feet, on front of Zyon. Zyon then grabs Akira's left leg, and tucks it upwards. Zyon then slams him backwards, for a Fishermans back suplex.

 

"Crazy! Fisherman's back suplex?!" King shouts.

 

Zyon takes Akira's leg, and puts in a half Boston Crab. He turns over, and puts a cross face on Akira. The STF is applied, and Akira is on the wrong side of the ropes.

 

"This is where that head and neck work from earlier pays off, Pete!" King says.

 

Akira screams in pain, and reaches out to the ropes. The pain is just to unbearable though. He lifts his hand up, and is about to slam it down, tapping out to the STF.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But he makes a fist with his hands, and screams in pain, stopping himself before he can tap out. He stretches further than ever before towards the ropes. He twiddles his fingers, stretching.

 

Stretching.

 

 

STRETCHING! Finally grabs hold of it, and Soapdish tells Zyon to lay off. Zyon respects the official, and abides.

 

Zyon let's go, and quickly ascends to the turnbuckle. Akira gets up, quickly enough, so that Zyon can't set up to hit him with Final Flash. Akira goes up to the turnbuckle, and starts to forearm Zyon. Zyon wont take it, though, and he throws Akira off the turnbuckle.

 

Akira takes the throw with momentum, and rolls on the canvas. Kaibatsu feels no pain this way, and he runs at Zyon and hits a roaring elbow to the gut!

 

"Akira's starting a comeback!" Pete cries.

 

Akira climbs the turnbuckle, and tucks Zyon under his armpit, but Zyon keeps clubbing his arm at Akira's back, causing Akira to fall off the turnbuckle again, but stays on his feet. Zyon then grabs Akira's head, and stuffs it between his legs. He flips forward, and slams Akira at the mat for a flipping powerbomb.

 

Zyon makes a cover, but it's too late in the match, and took physically enduring for Zyon to hook a leg.

 

 

 

 

ONEE!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOOO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRENNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Akira and Zyon get up simultaneously, but Akira has his back to Zyon. Zyon puts a full nelson on Akira, but Akira wriggles his arms loose, and tries to roll between Zyon's legs. Zyon is quick about it though, and puts a rear-waist lock on Akira from the ground. He pushes him up back to his feet, and hits a German Suplex, bridging for a pin!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOOO!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEALMOST!

 

 

"Oh my god, King, how will this end?!" Pete asks

 

"Pete, it seems we were asking ourselves the same question on Lockdown!"

 

"Well, this match is starting to get a bit on the long side. This two part series is one of the best we've had on free television in a while, King!"

 

 

Zyon quickly gets up, and lifts Akira by the tights. Zyon throws a knife edged chop at Akira. The chop was made a smacking noise that shook the arena, and Akira's chest became a brick red. Akira let out a giant scream, that at first seemed like it might have been pain, but after a second, sounded more like he was getting fired up.

 

"Probably not the best thing to do . . ." Pete warns.

 

 

Akira throws a chop, right back at Zyon, just as hard, leaving that same noise that could be heard down the street. Zyon wont take that from Akira though, and he throws a forearm right at Akira's forehead. Akira wont give up this battle though, and he throws a fore arm right back at Zyon.

 

"Dear god . . . these guys are insane!" Pete screams.

 

Akira throws in another forearm, holding Zyon's head in. Zyon grabs Akira's head too, and begins throwing his elbows. The two don't stop striking each other. Rapidly eating at each other's brain cells, and making tons of money for Tylonol in asprin pills with each fore arm or elbow they throw.

 

Akira throws one final elbow, and Zyon's fore arms finally stop, as both fall to the ground, too tired to hit the other man one more time.

 

"Words," Pete stops in awe. "Words cannot describe what we just saw."

 

King nods in agreement.

 

Both men slowly start to get up, and are soon both at their feet, staring each other down. Akira doesn't want to slow down though, and he runs at Zyon throwing a roaring elbow. Zyon smoothly ducks under it though, and gets behind Akira. He tries a back suplex, but Akira backflips out of it. Akira tries to put Zyon in a rear waist lock, but Zyon wasn't there to give him one. He was busy rotating backwards in the air, extending his leg so he could hit Akira in the mouth with it.

 

 

"What the hell?! This match is getting insane!" Pete goes crazy.

 

"A backflip kick! Sending Akira right on his ass!"

 

Zyon quickly picks up Akira, after he gets up. He tries to Irish whip him into the corner turnbuckle, but Akira shows he's got life in him, reversing the Irish whip. Akira runs after Zyon into the turnbuckle he was just flung into. Zyon shows his great poise, climbing the turnbuckle smoothly and swiftly when get got there. He leaps backwards, corkscrewing and turning, hitting Akira on his way down.

 

"Oh my god, it's No Regard!" Pete calls.

 

 

"Go for the cover, Kid!"

 

 

Zyon doesn't try for the pin though. Instead he runs, stepping over Akira, and leaping onto the middle rope. He bounces off it, like a 4 year old at a carnival, backflipping, landing on Akira's stomach.

 

"It's the Half Moon!" Pete's voice is getting hoarse.

 

"Two straight major attacks from Zyon's arsenal!" King gets excited.

 

 

Zyon hooks both legs, hoping to win back his title.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOO

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Zyon's gonna win it back!"

 

 

 

"No, he can't!"

 

 

 

"THERE IT IS! THREE" King KNOWS it's over!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRNOOOO!

 

"No! Damnit!" King stomps the ground. He thought he had it.

 

Zyon gets off Akira, and turns to Soapdish, holding up 3 fingers. Soapdish shakes his head no. Zyon doesn't see that though, because Akira just took him backwards, with a school boy!

 

 

 

ONE!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOO!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRENOOOTYET!

 

Zyon quickly rolls out of the school boy, realizing how close he was to losing. Akira is up just as fast, and comes running at Zyon with his elbow, but Zyon ducks once again, and finds himself behind Akira. He puts Akira's far arm between his legs. Zyon takes Akira's wrist, and bends it backwards, leaning against his knee. Zyon lifts Akira up . . .

 

 

"Going for the 911 Aero Driver! Gonna end it!" Pete says.

 

Akira struggles with Zyon, squirming and wiggling around, not letting Zyon drop him. Akira finally gets his arm out from between his legs, and uses it to punch Zyon in the face. He rolls backwards down Zyon's back. Akira takes a quick step in front of Zyon, and puts in a cravate.

 

"HE TURNED THE TABLES ON ZYON! HE'S GOING TO HIT THE DIVINE WIND!" Pete is screaming. This series has him fired up.

 

Akira runs with Zyon in his arms. He steps up the turnbuckle, and flips backwards. The back of Zyon's head hits the mat with so much force, it bounces. It hits the mat a second time, and a pool of maroon forms under his head.

 

 

"OH MY GOD, ZYON'S BLEEDING LIKE CRAZY!" King is screaming his head off now to.

 

 

 

 

Akira makes the cover, hooking a leg.

 

 

 

 

 

 

ONE!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWOOO!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

 

 

"Oh my god, Akira's defended the belt!" Pete finally calms down.

 

"This two part series was definitely a classic. I hope it's not the last time they face off."

 

 

Mr. Kobe retrieves Akira's cruiserweight title, and hands it to him. Akira tells Kobe something in Japanese, and they come over to the fallen Zyon, bleeding a lake. Kobe tells Zyon something, that no one can hear. Akira reaches for a hand shake, and Zyon accepts it. His mouth can clearly be read as saying "Thanks"

 

 

 

 

 

FADE OUT!

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Smarkdown fades in after a commercial for Drew Kelk's combination brothel and gravy-covered french fry eatery - "Fill your poutine and poontang needs at one stop!" to reveal Jimmy the Doom stomping around the refreshment area, overturning tables and smashing platters of food. Ben Hardy appears around a corner, a little wary of angering a man much taller, and it would seem, crazily angry. But Ben has his journalistic integrity to uphold, and ventures forth into the breech.

 

"Uh, Jimmy? Anything wrong? Doomtopia hasn't been invaded again, has it?" Hardy inquires.

 

Doom wheels around, and tries to supress his rage, which results in Jimmy smiling open mouthedly.

 

"Nevers of such evented, Ben. Of the evers how, much of anger to inside of myselves," Doom replies.

 

"Okay, what's made you angry?"

 

"It would to being lacks of accomidate living styles of mine," Jimmy explains.

 

"And what exactly is not being accomidated for your life style?" Ben asks.

 

"Firstlies, explanate of thing. Knowing of Spiked Jennykins, Cross of Michaels, with a Toxxics?"

 

"Of course, Jimmy. They're all straight-edge. Is that it? You're straight-edge and you aren't being treated fairly? Doesn't make sense, as the SWF has typically been pretty good when it comes to people with various requests," Hardy says.

 

"Nots of any! Jimmied of Dooms to no straight-edge! Being of a straight-bread!" Doom exclaims.

 

"What? Did you just say straight-bread? What the hell does that even mean?" Ben wonders.

 

"To of mean none for eat sandwiches, predominance. Included, though, butteries, jammings, and others of on breads. Of them are straight-bread, breads to not haves things of difference on," Jimmy says.

 

"That's right, Jimmy," Lois the Unethical says, appearing from behind a stack of lobster traps. "A common straight-bread motto is 'We eat our meats and cheeses seperately from our breads, thank you very much'. I too, am straight-bread, as is the majority of the Doomtopian population."

 

"So, you two don't eat sandwiches, or bread with anything on it, and you're upset because nobody has provided that for you?" Ben questions, trying to get things straight (Bread).

 

"Much of yeslies. Many hearings of Spiked Jennykins for upset on illegals straight-edge item, and I with thinked straight-bread being most deserves equalness in treatings. Unethical Loises and Doomed Jim are performing straight-bread band. Allowing us played with a songs?" Jimmy inquires.

 

"Er...I guess that should be okay..." Hardy mumbles.

 

Doom shoots Ben double pistol fingers and pull from behind the lobster traps formerly hiding Lois the Unethical a six string...frying pan? Lois picks up a stuffed marlin and holds it against a lobster trap. Jimmy nods at his wife and manager, who begins screaming rhythmically and pounds the lobster trap with her taxidermied fish, while Doom alternates between strumming two power chords.

 

"I don't need ham, or pastrami,

Ain't go time for provolone, or salami.

I'M STRAIGHT-BREAD!

I'M STRAIGHT-BREAD!

 

Fuck you, mustard, and fuck you, jelly,

All I need is plain bread in my belly.

I'M STRAIGHT-BREAD!

I'M STRAIGHT-BREAD!

 

Who needs peanut butter, or honey?

Even toast is a waste of money.

I'M STRAIGHT-BREAD!

I'M STRAIGHT-BREAD!"

 

Doom ends with a flourish, smashing the pan into his own face, while Lois hurls the marlin where it presumably lands nose-first in some intern's liver. With that, Ben Hardy makes a hasty retreat, and Smarkdown fades to commercial with a mother fucking star wipe.

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SWF Smarkdown returns to the lively, sold out crowd jammed inside the MTC Center in Winnipeg, Canada.

 

“Welcome back to Smarkdown,” LDP says. “We are on the brink of our six man tag main event but first is a cross pool match in our Lethal Lottery Tag Team Tournament!”

 

“But I want to see El Luchadore Magnifico destroy Wes Davenport now,” King whines like a little kid.

 

“I doubt that ELM will destroy Wes but that’s not the order of bid’ness right now,” LDP says. “The unusual pairings of Stryke and Wildchild will be facing off against Kevin Coyote and Insane Luchador! Despite the interesting match-ups that came about from the Lethal Lottery Tournament’s announcement these two teams are still undefeated.”

 

“Where Coyote and IL cheated to win.” King spins his revisionist history version.

 

“What are you talking about?” LDP asks. “Wayne Blank came in to interfere but it backfired on Blank which ended up costing them the match!”

 

“Well what about Stryke and Wildchild? They cheated too,” King says.

 

“No, Wildchild put away Von Dierch with a Caribbean Cutter,” LDP replies.

 

King pauses. “Well they aren’t Justice and Rule, damn it!”

 

Sometimes simplicity gets a message across the best because “Bouncin’ Back” by Mystikal blares and the fans get onto their feet in cheers. Wildchild and Stryke come out and are followed by Melissa Fasaki as they all spend a brief few seconds to bask in the standing ovation from the Canadian crowd.

 

“Introducing first… accompanied by Melissa Fasaki- the team of WWWIILLDDDCCHHIILLDD AND SSTTRRYYYKKEE!”

 

The two break into a sprint down the ring aisle where they slap the outstretched hands and charge all the way down to ringside with Melissa inciting more cheers from behind.

 

“I will never see the appeal,” King says.

 

“Come on King, Wildchild was half of one the SWF’s greatest tag teams and Stryke’s a former champion too! What’s not to love?” LDP asks. “These two may not have the most in-ring experience with each other but neither are strangers to tag teams.”

 

Stryke and Wildchild stand at ringside until Melissa catches up. The trio begins to engage in some last minute game planning. Stryke looks skeptical at first but then nods and glances over to WC who also agrees. They slide into the ring as Melissa steps over to ringside as they all anxiously await their opponent’s arrival.

 

“Look at that, their scheming,” King says. “It’s despicable.”

 

“You’re so shamelessly hypocritical.” LDP finds himself dumbfounded yet almost impressed.

 

“Man in the Box” by Alice in Chains explodes onto the loud speakers and explosions of red mixed with black pyrotechnics burst off. Almost immediately the song switches over to flashing white lights as “I’m Alive” by Disturbed begins. Insane Luchador and Kevin Coyote expose themselves to the mixed reaction from the crowd. The two walk down the aisle as Luchador slaps hands and Coyote dodges small pieces of trash thrown his way.

 

“Next, entering the ring… the team of IIINNNSSSAAAANNNEEEE LLLLUUUCCCHHHAAADDDOOOOR and KKKKEEEEVVVIIIINNN CCCCOOOOYYYOOTTEE!”

 

The two hit ringside and Coyote grabs Luchador’s shoulder to halt him. They begin to debate over how to handle the match to a stalemate. Inside the ring Matthew Kivell waves them up to enter the ring and Coyote slides in, leaving IL to bitterly hop onto the apron.

 

“Looks like Wildchild and Kevin Coyote are going to start this up,” LDP says. “I don’t think Coyote knows what he has gotten himself into.”

 

Inside the ring, Coyote quickly shrugs off his jean jacket, tossing it to the outside. He now wears a black T-shirt with the simple phrase written across its front:

 

.hack//coyote

 

"What the hell does that mean?" asks Pete.

 

"Hell if I know," says King.

 

Wildchild and Kevin Coyote step into center of the ring in awkward tension. Immediately Coyote shoots down and tackles Wildchild down with a double leg takedown.

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

“Cheap tricks, that’s all Coyote’s got!” LDP exclaims.

 

He pins Wildchild’s leg down with one hand and begins to stand up just so he can elbow drop the Human Hurricane in the knee. He kneels down and wraps Wildchild’s inner knee around his bent knee then tugs at it to inflict further damage. He lets go and seems content as he stands to the mat while Wildchild slowly rolls to his feet. Kevin Coyote lunges out in an attempt to grapple with the Wildchild but gets kicked in the face instead. He uses his arm wrapped in gauze to his advantage as he unleashes three quick right hands to Coyote who is sent backpedaling. He continues his assault with a stiff kick to the ribs that has Coyote responding with a low groan and he finishes off with a roundhouse kick that floors Kevin. He rolls up to his feet and is wary as he holds out his arms and the two collide into a grapple. Kevin Coyote remains in the tie up but suddenly drops down to both knees on the canvas and grabs Wildchild’s inner thigh while tugging him down by his arm to hit a fireman’s carry takedown. The Human Hurricane is too quick for Coyote to follow up as they race up to their feet. Kevin Coyote runs towards Wildchild but gets taken over with an armdrag that barely stuns him as they both get to their feet. This time Wildchild comes at Coyote but gets halted by an armdrag but he keeps a hold of the arm on the canvas. He immediately twists the arm and pulls it back into an uncomfortable position into the air as he pushes his knee against the side of Wildchild’s head as an added bonus.

 

“Coyote’s being smart here, he is keeping Wildchild grounded,” King says.

 

The fans jeer at his conservative approach to facing off against the Wildchild but instead he just tugs the arm that much harder. He even briefly uses his free hand to condescend WC with a smack on the side of the head. He switches gears as he lets go of the arm and hops over Wildchild’s body so as he lands he can lock in a side headlock while WC tries to push his way to his feet. As he slowly begins to stand Coyote is forced to get up himself until he’s standing up straight then WC frees his hand by shoving his opponent into the ropes. Wildchild bounces back into the other ropes and as the two come whipping back he leaps into the air to smack Coyote down with a leg lariat. The fans come alive from the signature leg lariat and both of the wrestlers scramble to their feet. Wildchild easily beats Kevin Coyote to his feet and begins to rain down right hands onto him. He bounces into the ropes and comes charging at Coyote but gets sent to the canvas by a simple shoulder block. Instead of following up Kevin Coyote decides he’s had enough and hustles over to tag his partner in.

 

“There’s the tag and now IL is the legal man,” LDP says.

 

“See now it’s going to be flipping and flopping, great,” King sarcastically says.

 

There are a few scattered cheers from the crowd as Insane Luchador enters the ring and they take advantage of the tag. They both grab Wildchild by a handful of his braided hair to tug him to his feet and then they whip him into the ropes. Coyote breaks into a sprint towards his opponent and then Luchador follows after. Kevin Coyote confuses the Wildchild as he simply ducks down and steps behind him while Insane Luchador comes out with a vicious spinning backfist. The fans break into boos as Coyote snatches the dazed Wildchild and hoists him into the air then falls back to the canvas with a backdrop suplex.

 

“Now there is some teamwork,” King says in appreciation of WC getting hurt.

 

Insane Luchador is able to shrug off the mixed response from the crowd as he goes to work on the downed Wildchild with quick stomps to his body. The Human Hurricane is forced to retreat as he rolls away and gets to his feet. But Insane Luchador is right there as he runs up and brings a knee right into his opponent’s gut. He watches Wildchild double over with a smirk as he snatches him in a front headlock and begins to bring up knees to WC’s body. He can feel Wildchild’s body giving away from the strikes as he gets heavier in his arms and he lets go just to watch his opponent crumble to the canvas. He reaches down and grabs a handful of Wildchild’s long braided hair then yanks him up to his feet. Wildchild bursts into action with an elbow to Luchador’s face followed by a plethora of low kicks alternating sides with his thighs and legs. Insane Luchador tries to predict the strikes but they are too rapid and random as he just allows himself to take the beating. Wildchild throws his leg high into the air with a kick as his shin collides with Insane Luchador’s temples and he looks ready to drop. But Wildchild is merciless as he steps out to catch Insane Luchador before he can fall to the canvas. He traps Luchador’s arms underneath his armpits and delivers a quick headbutt with enough impact that a faint smear of the teal face paint is left on his forehead. He sweeps his leg across Luchador’s shaky legs to take him off balance as he swiftly turns to the side to slam Luchador down to the canvas to a wheeze like a dead whoopee cushion. The only disapproval comes from Kevin Coyote who hollers insults at Luchador while a few Luchadorians peppered within the crowd jeer.

 

“Wildchild has been making a comeback since IL’s been in the ring,” LDP happily says.

 

“Hmm… maybe that says something about Luchador’s skill, eh?”

 

“What are you talking aboot?”

 

Wildchild runs towards the ropes and suddenly handsprings into the ropes, momentarily motionless before he uses the momentum that slings him backwards. He lands on his feet but fluently bends down to launch himself into a moonsault right onto Luchador! The fans explode from the creative move as WC stays on for the pin-

 

ONE! Kevin Coyote and Stryke both enter the ring in a dead sprint towards each other as the count begins. He gets the best of Stryke with a hard clothesline that knocks him down then looks over to the Wildchild.

 

Insane Luchador kicks out with a grunt of frustration as Wildchild scrambles to his feet. Coyote bombards his opponent with a flurry of right hands that is topped off with a dropkick that sends Wildchild down to the canvas. Coyote rolls up and looks down at his partner who is slowly standing up. He shouts at him with a few condescending remarks and totally neglects the fact that Stryke is creeping up on Luchador. The team of Coyote and IL seem to combust but the argument screeches to a halt as Stryke locks in a sleeper hold on Luchador! Coyote springs into action as he throws a high kick that has a high risk as it barely brushes past IL’s cheek to smack Stryke right in the face.

 

“Whoa! How about that kick, gee, I’d be careful if I were you,” King says to his partner.

 

Kivell finally steps in as Stryke hits the canvas and rolls out of the ring while Coyote heads to his corner with a grunt of disgust. Insane Luchador glances around the ring for the unaccounted Wildchild in the brief pandemonium and turns around just to get taken down with a leg lariat. Wildchild instantly runs over to the turnbuckle as he hops onto the top facing the fans who roar in approval but Insane Luchador scrambles back to his feet. He breaks into a dead sprint and clubs Wildchild in the back which sends him off balance then leads to the inevitable racking. Insane Luchador lets out a laugh as Wildchild lets out a squeak and he hops onto the second turnbuckle. He wraps his arms around Wildchild in a waistlock and then grapevines both of his feet in the ropes. The fans break into a huge mixed response and Stryke’s eyes widen in horror as Luchador arches back and throws Wildchild off the turnbuckle with a release German Suplex. His whole upper body seems to crunch together like an accordion as he moans in pain before lying on his back in pain.

 

“Jesus Christ! Insane Luchador just hit a release German Suplex off that second rope and he’s still on that turnbuckle,” LDP says.

 

“Occasionally, well rarely, actually just this once IL has done something respectable,” King says.

 

Insane Luchador carelessly doesn’t even glance at the downed Wildchild as he moves onto the top turnbuckle and then leaps off in a beautiful moonsault. The Caribbean Cruiser glances up to see the Ill One quickly descending upon him and he responds by simply lifting his knees. Luchador collides into his opponent’s knees as he flops onto the canvas with his hand clutching his ribs. Wildchild looks over at Stryke who is desperately cheering him on while encouraging the tag while Melissa practically shrieks. Insane Luchador glances over to Kevin Coyote who simply looks pissed and disappointed but still reaches his hand out for the tag. Both of the men glance towards each other and quickly they both begin their scramble for the tag. Insane Luchador gets onto all fours while the Wildchild tries to bring himself to his feet. IL breaks away with a quick crawl over to his corner to make the tag while Wildchild barely stands up. The fans all hold their breath in suspense as Luchador just rolls to the outside and his partner enters the ring in a charge. Wildchild stumbles forward before getting into his stride as he quickly staggers over to Stryke. Coyote lunges out to grab the Human Hurricane but he can see the hand shoot out and make a solid connection to tag Stryke in. The fans erupt in cheers as Coyote tries to put on the brakes and Stryke hops onto the top rope to springboard off with a beautiful dropkick. His connection and sends Kevin Coyote smacking on the canvas and the momentum carries him backwards from the impact.

 

“Stryke gets tagged in and blasts Coyote with a beautiful springboard dropkick!” LDP says.

 

“Because Wildchild cheated on that tag,” King mutters.

 

“How?”

 

“Don’t question me, damn it, I have a holiday!”

 

 

Coyote tries to race Stryke up to his feet but it’s no use as he rolls up right into Stryke’s range. Stryke opens fire with a fierce European uppercut that connects with Coyote's jaw as he reels backwards and creates a resounding smack that echoes in the arena. Coyote attempts to shrug off Stryke's attack, raising his left hand for a punch, but Stryke grabs him by both arms and drops backwards, slamming him to the mat in a double arm DDT!

 

"Hah!" hollers Pete. "That's the second time he's walked into that move." Pete is obviously pleased with himself, having been the first to perform the move on Coyote; of course, his version was the Longdogger Clogger.

 

"Oh, give your ego a rest," says King. "Look out, there's a cover!"

 

Stryke rolls atop Coyote for a cover attempt, so referee Matthew Kivell is there to make the count.

 

ONE! Insane Luchador tries to get in the ring to break up the count, but Wildchild is faster, impressively leaping up to the top rope, and springboarding from the rope to knock over IL.

 

TWO! Stryke maintains the cover while Wildchild drops onto Insane Luchador to prevent Coyote's partner from preserving the match.

 

THR- NO! Coyote lifts an arm into the air to break the cover, then violently shoves Stryke out of the way so he can get back up. He then proceeds to divebomb the entangled mass that is Wildchild and IL, getting a few good licks in on Wildchild (and probably missing a few and getting IL a couple times) before Stryke descends on him again. Stryke wraps Coyote into a hammerlock, pulling him away from the other two competitors as Kivell tries to shoo them back out of the ring. Coyote fights his way out of the hammerlock, but Stryke just readjusts his grip and tosses Coyote to the mat in a Fujiwara takedown, finishing the move with an arm bar that leaves Coyote struggling against the canvas and trying to reach the ropes.

 

"There's a nice submission move there by Stryke," says Pete.

 

"Let's see what else your boy has in his bag of tricks," ribs King.

 

Surprisingly, Coyote kips up from this position, snapping out of Stryke's arm bar so fast he very nearly breaks Stryke's arm. A few rows of people gasp in shock, and the commentators pick up on it too.

 

"I've never seen a reversal like that before," says Pete.

 

"You sure you want to tangle with this guy in the ring, Drainclogger?" asks King.

 

Stryke rises to his feet, stepping away from Coyote, rubbing at his smarting arm. Coyote advances on Stryke, grabbing the sore arm and pulling. Stryke howls in pain, but Coyote pulls harder, whipping Stryke into IL's corner. Stryke manages to land with his back against the turnbuckle, and Coyote follows him into that corner, quickly climbing onto the bottom rope and raising his left fist into the air for some mounted punches.

 

"This should be good," says King.

 

"Some strong offense coming from the southpaw," says Pete.

 

Even though he's not the fan favorite, the audience can't help but get into this move, and they count, along with Coyote, the number of punches he deals out to Stryke's upper body.

 

"ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE!"

 

Somewhere in the middle of "five," Insane Luchador reaches over the top rope and slaps Coyote's shoulder! Coyote looks confused for a moment until he realizes what has happened - Matthew Kivell sees this action and has considered it a legal tag!

 

"Whoops," says Pete, "I think?"

 

Coyote looks stunned as IL climbs into the ring, and Kivell taps Coyote on the shoulder, trying to get him to exit! Coyote ignores the referee, instead tapping IL on the shoulder in annoyance, mouthing a few words in disgust.

 

"I don't think Coyote's too happy about this," says Pete. "We could be seeing a serious destabilization of this team."

 

"Don't hurt yourself using those big words, mate," says King.

 

Coyote climbs back through the ropes to take his place in the corner, and Insane Luchador attempts to go to work on Stryke. Unfortunately, by now Stryke has had plenty of time to recover, and IL walks right into a vicious clothesline, knocking him onto the mat. IL starts to get up, only to be yanked upwards by Stryke and thrust toward the ropes. Stryke ducks down as IL bounces off the ropes and is propelled back toward his opponent. As IL reaches Stryke, the Australian hoists IL up onto his shoulders in a fireman's carry. In an impressive feat of vitality, Stryke spins IL around and around, the audience cheering him on with each revolution. Finally Stryke tires of the airplane spin, and drops IL to the canvas in a fireman's carry takedown. The move leaves IL lying on the mat, but Stryke is dazed as well from the physically draining spin, and he wanders toward his own corner to tag in Wildchild. Sensing a turning point in the match, Wildchild leaps up to the top rope and curls into a ball, then launches himself at IL just as the competitor starts to get back up! IL is bowled over onto the mat, and Wildchild himself lands on the mat a couple feet away, also onto his back. For a few moments, neither man moves.

 

"There's the Pinfall attack from Wildchild!" shouts LDP. "The Bahama Bomber has dealt a potential death blow to Insane Luchador!"

 

"Now let's see if he can get up," replies King.

 

The audience starts cheering as the referee begins a count out since both men remain motionless on the mat.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

FOUR!

 

FIVE!

 

At "SIX," Wildchild begins to move. He rolls over onto his stomach, then crawls closer to IL, draping an arm loosely across IL's chest. That's close enough for Kivell to make a pinfall count!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THRE-- NO! IL kicks out! IL kicks out! He sticks a foot out just in the nick of time and keeps a hope of winning the match alive. Both men exhaustedly start to get back to their feet. Meanwhile, outside the ring, Kevin Coyote drops from his corner, grabbing his jean jacket from the outside and looking in its pockets.

 

"What's Coyote doing?" asks Pete. "Getting his damn phone?"

 

"Nope," replies King. "Something even better!"

 

Coyote retrieves a pair of brass knuckles from his left jacket pocket and slips them on. He climbs into the ring as Wildchild and IL both get to their feet. Coyote raises his fist to punch out Wildchild, but Kivell gets involved, holding Coyote back to try to prevent a disqualification. Coyote swings anyways and misses Wildchild - but accidentally connects with IL, knocking him to the floor!

 

"OH MY GOD!" hollers Pete. "Coyote just floored his own partner!"

 

"No big loss," says King. "He wasn't doing much anyway."

 

Coyote tosses the knuckles aside, cursing his luck, and Wildchild takes the opportunity to cover the unconscious IL.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

NO! Coyote pulls Wildchild off IL and punches him in the face, then shoves his face into the mat for good measure. Coyote quickly runs to the ropes, leaping off the second rope and flipping backward onto Wildchild in a modified lionsault, known as Coyote's signature Full Moon Assault! As the illegal man, Coyote doesn't pin Wildchild, but instead pulls IL's unconscious form closer to Wildchild, draping IL's limp arm over Wildchild's body. Kivell bends down to make the count, as an enraged Stryke enters the ring to prevent this.

 

ONE! Stryke gets into the ring, and Coyote cuts him off. The pair begins exchanging blows as Stryke tries to get to Wildchild in desperation.

 

TWO! Coyote throws Stryke off balance with a gut punch, preventing Stryke's assault.

 

THREE!

 

DING DING DING!

 

Funyon is quick to react. "Here are your winners, the team of INSAAAAANE LUCHADOOOOR and KEVIIIINNNN COYOOOOOTEEEEE!"

 

"What a hellacious match!" hollers Pete. "Coyote knocks out his own partner, yet his team wins the match, running their record in the Lethal Lottery to an impressive 2-0!"

 

"Great match from these two pairs," says King. "Not much for teamwork, but great match nonetheless."

 

"Folks, don't go anywhere!" exclaims Pete. "We'll be right back with the evening's main event!"

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As we come back from commercial break, the SWF cameras take a quick scan of the audience, catching all the fans holding up homemade signs. Amazingly enough, a whole row has managed to spell out “D A V E N P O R T”, leading some to wonder ‘why would anyone waste their free time like that?’

 

“From The Fire is just about two weeks away, but we’re giving away a pay per view quality match tonight on Smarkdown as six of the biggest names in the company square off!”

 

The camera centers on our announcing team as the match gets ready to start.

 

“… five of the biggest name, plus Maddix.” King corrects his partner, snidely. “It’s only four if you don’t count the hapless Crimson Skull.”

 

“I wouldn’t say that, King.” Pete defends his claim. “Maddix has been one of the biggest names in the wrestling world for the past year now! And despite the Crimson Skull’s recent falters in the Lethal Lottery Tournament™, earlier tonight he was granted an UltraViolient Title shot by none other than… well, Bruce Blank’s little brother.”

 

“And while I’m sure it’ll be nice to watch Skull get murdered by Bruce, that doesn’t make him a big time star. The only reason I’m tuning in tonight is to watch Magnifico,” King admits. “He’s so dreamy…”

 

“That disturbing thought aside, this match is going to be great!”

 

“Hardly…”

 

One of the fans behind the announcer’s table quickly holds up a sign that reads “Peters is an Ass!” before the cameraman or the men back in the production truck has a chance to switch views. Not that it’s that big of a deal… no ones boob fell out.

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is a three man tag team match, scheduled for one fall!” Funyon’s voice booms out over the crowd, bubbling with anticipation. “Introducing first…”

 

The Dance Squad™ comes running out of the back wearing a variety of vintage rock shirts and tight blue jeans or Dickies. They form a crowd along one side of the ramp, and stand there quietly. The lights in the arena dim and “Learn to Fly” by Pink Floyd plays and Jay Hawke makes his way out onto the stage, wearing his usual attire. A single spotlight shines down on the Dean of Professional Wrestling, allowing him to bask in his own glory… but The Crimson Skull runs out beside him and nudges Jay to the side. Heff tries to get in too, but he’s blocked by Skull’s massive body. Jay looks a little disgusted as the trio makes their way down the ramp.

 

“… making their way to the ring, weighing in at a combined weight of five hundred pounds and being accompanied by Heff... SWF International Champion, ‘The Dean of Professional Wrestling’ Jay Hawke and The Crimson Skull!”

 

“Skull is trying to hog the spotlight from Jay Hawke,” King protests! “If he keeps that up, he may find himself on the business end of a Wing Span before the night is over!”

 

“He’s just having a good time, King. Leave him alone.”

 

“… and their partner…” Funyon continues, getting the most airtime that he’s gotten for one match in a long time.

 

The arena falls into darkness, and a few fans, knowing what’s coming next, already begin to boo as they sit in shadow...

 

“HEY HEY!”

 

*BOOM!*

 

So goes the intro to Atake FDD’s “Tu Final”, which is shouted as a burst of red, white and green sparks explode upwards from the stage! As the smoke clears, the fans catch a clear sight of El Luchadore Magnifico, who strides out from behind the curtain, illuminated by a single spotlight. Again with a spotlight? It’s more over than Stryke, I swear. Magnifico’s head bobs to the thumping bass with his trademark Mexican flag in his hands, Magnifico quickly makes his way down the entrance ramp, keeping his eyes focused on the ring and nothing else.

 

“Here comes the champion,” King announces with glee.

 

“… weighing in at two hundred and ten pounds, from Mexico City… he is the SWF World Heavyweight Champion… El Luchadore Magnifico!”

“BOOOOO!!!”

 

Magnifico reaches the ring, rolls beneath its bottom rope, and pops to his feet. He steps into the middle of the ring and thrusts his flag high into the air, doing so as the lights are reignited throughout the arena. Scowling at the booing audience, Magnifico hands his flag to the ref and executes a few cursory stretches, and takes a quick glance to evaluate his partners for the evening.

 

“And their opponents…”

 

"PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!"

 

...WAAAAAHHHHH...

 

*DUM DUM*

 

The post-opening part of "Megalomaniac" by Incubus hits, as from behind the curtain steps the team of Landon Maddix and Max King (with Kelly Connelly escorting him). Both men stop at the top of the ramp and Maddix thrusts his hands out to his side and receives a chorus of boos.

 

“Being booed against Magnifico?” Pete adds, “you can’t tell me that Maddix isn’t a big time player with that kind of response.”

 

“Maddix sucks.”

 

“… making their way to the ring, weighing in at a combined weight of four hundred seventy four pounds and being accompanied by Kelly Connelly... the SWF Tag Team Champions, Landon ‘La Cucaracha’ Maddix and ‘The Icon’ Max King!”

 

Landon gives Max a quick look of disgust as the duo makes their way down to the ring. As the two get closer to the ring, Landon ditches his ring jacket and the two charge the ring hoping to catch their opponents by surprise! Max King quickly knocks Magnifico down with a clubbing forearm, and then turns to greet The Crimson Skull with a thunderous right hand that rocks him to his foundation, but doesn’t knock him down. Maddix tries to jump on Jay Hawke, but he’s prepared and the two exchange blows.

 

“We’ve got ourselves a slugfest!” Pete announces.

 

Skull, not being an easy person to put down, quickly gets his head back in the game and meets King with a right hand of his own that turns the Tag Team Champion around to be leveled with a clothesline from Magnifico! The two quickly go to work on picking apart King, stomping him into the mat before turning their attention towards Landon and Jay Hawke. Skull jumps Maddix from behind with an overhand axe handle to the back that knocks him to his knees and into Jay Hawke. Hawke lifts him back to his knees and then locks his arms behind him, allowing Skull to lay into Landon’s stomach with a barrage of punches. In the meantime, Magnifico turns his attention back towards the fallen Max King, until…

 

“YEEAAAAHHHH!!!”

 

The crowd erupts as Wes Davenport comes running out of the back to save his comrades! Actually, Wes has no friends in this match, but he’ll be damned if he loses it this way!

 

“Here comes the number one contender, and he’s got his eyes locked on you-know-who!” Pete joygasms.

 

“Wes is completely self-serving. The only reason he’s coming out here is to give his star a little more shine!”

 

“You’re such a pessimist, King.”

 

Magnifico catches Davenport out of the corner of his eye before he ever reaches the ring, and safely distances himself via way of rolling under the bottom rope. The Dean is not so lucky though, as Wes make a b-line towards him and dims his lights enough to cause him to release Maddix, allowing him to drop to his knees. Skull quickly disposes of Maddix, and just tosses him out of the ring leaving just Jay, Wes, and himself in the ring. Hawke turns around quickly, but is met with a dropkick square on the chin!

 

“Davenport is pumped and ready to go! Bid’ness is about to pick up!”

 

… and he’s leveled by The Crimson Skull with a clothesline that nearly turns the 6’5”, 258 pound man inside out! All the extra men finally clear the ring, allowing referee Nick Ordonez to finally start the match.

 

*Ding ding ding!!*

 

Skull quickly pulls the stunned Davenport back to his feet, and then sends him back down to the mat with a strong right hand! Skull picks him up again, and repeats the motion. On the third time, Davenport is a little harder to pick up, but as Skull swings, Davenport puts his arm up to block it and then surprises Skull with an uppercut that sends the Supervillain reeling! But as Davenport closes in, he’s met with a kick to the shine that knocks him to one knee, followed up quickly by another clothesline that knocks him to the mat!

 

“Skull may have a limited array of moves and no real wrestling training… but it doesn’t take a technical genius to hurt someone,” King notes.

 

Davenport starts to climb back to his feet, but Skull sends a boot to the side of his face and knocks him onto his back. The time, Wes isn’t so quick to pull himself back up. On one side of the ring, Heff cheers on his glorious leader, but on the other… nothing. Kelly doesn’t really seem to care that much for the incredibly handsome, yet rugged, Davenport. He’s almost completely alone in this match, having only the crowd to count on for support. Skull reaches down and scoops up the fallen number one contender, but as he stands him to his feet, Wes sends a right hand sailing into the villain’s check!

 

“Davenport was just baiting Skull!” Pete squeals.

 

The shot shakes Skull, but he’s not quite stirred, and Wes sends another and another right hand sailing! Skull ducks though, and latches onto Davenport’s left one instead setting up an obvious Irish Whip into the corner. Wes is lucky enough to turn and put his back into the turnbuckle, but he obviously didn’t bring his four leaf clover today… Skull comes charging in after him and smashes into his ribs with a Spear!

 

“Spear in the corner!” Pete yells. “That’ll crack a rib if you’re unlucky!”

 

Wes tries to climb out of the corner, but he wobbles a little and then falls flat on his face. Skull seizes the opportunity and covers his fallen opponent. Nick slides in to make the count…

 

One!

 

 

Two!

 

 

… Wes gets the shoulder up! The downhearted villain sits back on his knees, and appears to have had enough for now.

 

“The Crimson Skull was that close to pinning the number one contender…” Pete ponders. “Do you have any idea what that would mean for his career?”

 

“Absolutely nothing.”

 

Skull pulls Davenport up by his hair after the failed pin attempt and drags him over to the corner of the ring where Jay Hawke and Magnifico wait patiently. Hawke lifts his leg and puts his foot onto the top rope, allowing Skull to sends Davenport’s face into it. Wes falls to the ground, a little beaten, but far from giving up. Hawke reaches out his hand and receives the tag in.

 

“And there’s the tag to the self-professed Dean of Professional Wrestling,” says Pete, “International Champion Jay Hawke.”

 

“And a man who already has a win over the number one contender, if you think back to Ramadomination,” King reminds the audience, knowing they traditionally have short attention spans. “And you seriously think Davenport’s going to be the next World Champion?”

 

Showing why he is called the Dean of Professional Wrestling, Hawke doesn’t work over the arm like he normally would. Instead, he lifts Davenport as if to go for a body slam. Instead of dropping him to the mat, Hawke decides to introduce Wes to his knee, dropping the man from Hollywood ribs-first right onto it, then doing so a second time before casually dropping him to the mat and falling on top of him with a lateral press:

 

 

One!

 

 

Two!

 

 

Th -- Davenport gets a shoulder up and looks over at his corner, where Max King and Landon Maddix look absolutely oblivious to the fact that their partner is in trouble.

 

“Can you believe that?” an incredulous Longdogger Pete asks. “King and Maddix are just standing in the corner, and I don’t think they’d make the tag if the opportunity presented itself!”

 

“Well, I’m assuming Maddix doesn’t want to step on Hawke’s toes too much,” replies King, “as despite the opening of this match they are technically stablemates. No, wait, I’m giving Maddix too much credit. Like he’d actually show loyalty to anybody but himself.”

 

Jay Hawke bends down to pull Davenport off the mat, but Davenport fires off a series of weak forearm smashes into the midsection of his opponent. Davenport instinctively grabs Hawke into a side headlock, mistakenly thinking those forearms actually did a little bit of damage, but then Hawke grabs the actor by the waist and lifts him up…

 

 

“OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

“And a Saito suplex by Jay Hawke that nearly dropped Davenport head-first to the canvas!”

 

“Well, dropping Davenport on his head wouldn’t have done any damage,” analyzes King, “because you have to have a brain to feel any pain in the head.”

 

Jay Hawke drags Wes Davenport over toward his corner, locks him in a side headlock, then makes the tag to El Luchadore Magnifico, who enters the ring to a chorus of boos that would make Jerry Rice supporters watching “Dancing with the Stars” look like children who cheer when they figure out Blue’s Clues. The World Heavyweight Champion smiles as he hears the boos before kicking his number one contender firmly in the ribs that Hawke has exposed by holding Wes’ arm in the air. The boos get louder as ELM snap mares Davenport to the mat. ELM puts Davenport into a reverse headlock, drops his neck and shoulders onto the knee, then drives Davenport into the mat with a reverse DDT. The champion makes a nonchalant cover, and Ordonez quickly slides down to count:

 

 

One!

 

 

Two!

 

 

Davenport gets a shoulder up, but the champion wastes no time wrapping his arms around Wes’ waist and taking Davenport over with a Northern Lights suplex and a bridge:

 

 

One!

 

 

Two!

 

 

Thr -- shoulder up.

 

“A couple of near falls by the champion,” says Pete, “and Wes Davenport has taken a pounding by all three men thus far here.”

 

“And he’s getting just a taste of what’s in store for him as From the Fire,” says King. “And I can’t wait to see it.”

 

Davenport rolls over and begins crawling over to his corner, but ELM quickly grabs his number one challenger by the hair to pull him to his feet. He then spins Davenport around, hooks his head and arm, and takes him over with a capture suplex that sends the crowd into a frenzy. Wanting very much to disappoint them, he quickly covers Wes, hooking the far leg for leverage:

 

 

One!

 

 

Two!

 

 

Max King reluctantly makes the save, as he might not like his partner but still wants to win when it comes right down to it.

 

“And finally some teamwork out of Davenport’s partners,” says Pete, “but with the punishment he’s taken so far, it could be too little too late.”

 

“God, I hope so. Then Maddix would lose too, and it would be one of the greatest Smarkdown main events ever.”

 

The champion pulls Davenport to the corner and tags in Skull, then holds Davenport with a full nelson until Skull kicks Wes in the gut. ELM leaves the ring, and Skull simply levels the top contender with a series of kicks, punches, and chops until Wes simply collapses to the canvas. Skull pulls Davenport to his feet and levels him with a short lariat, but maintains his hold of the arm to pull Davenport back to his feet. A second short lariat, and again Skull hangs on to the arm and pulls Davenport to his feet. He goes for a third lariat, but Davenport ducks underneath it and kicks Skull in the midsection. Instinctively, Davenport locks in a front facelock to go for It’s A Wonderful DDT, but Skull picks Davenport up off the mat and runs forward until Davenport’s back collides with the turnbuckles. Davenport slumps to the mat, and Skull pulls him away from the corner before going for the pin:

 

 

One!

 

 

Two!

 

 

Thr -- Davenport just barely gets the left shoulder up, prompting Pete to go, “I can’t believe this!”

 

“You can’t believe this? I can’t believe it. Maybe we’ve been calling the wrong man ‘La Cucaracha’ this entire match, as Davenport refuses to do the smart thing and stay down.”

 

Skull quickly reaches back and tags in Jay Hawke before Irish whipping Davenport into a neutral corner. The Dean enters the ring, and Jay Hawke and The Crimson Skull each go to said neutral corner and continually turn Davenport’s chest into a bright shade of pink with a series of knife-edge chops.

 

“A few more chops like that, and you can use Wes Davenport’s chest as a traffic light,” says King in awe.

 

As Ordonez works the slowest five-count in history, Skull and Hawke whip Davenport into the opposite corner. Davenport staggers forward out of the corner, briefly dropping to one knee before regaining his footing and walking right into a double spine buster. With each man grabbing a leg, Skull and the International Champion turn Davenport over into a double Boston crab, and the World Champion casually makes his way into the ring and drops a leg across the back of his challenger’s neck. Nick Ordonez finally gets The Crimson Skull and El Luchadore Magnifico to make their way to the ring apron, and Jay Hawke makes a cover and hooks a leg:

 

 

One!

 

 

Two!

 

 

Thr -- Max King again reluctantly makes a save. Hawke looks up at the opposing corner, and Maddix just shrugs his shoulders as Hawke cinches in a reverse chinlock.

 

“Do you think they’re getting frustrated, King? Everything they’ve done has been unable to keep Wes Davenport down, and I’m beginning to think they’re slowing the pace down just to figure out how to win this thing.”

 

“Nah, I don’t think that’s the case, Pete,” says King matter-of-factly. “Honestly, had they done a few headlocks in the opening couple of minutes, all of those big moves would have probably put him away a long time ago.”

 

With Davenport seemingly trapped in the hold, the crowd begins to slowly clap, the frequency increasing with each clap until Davenport works his way to his feet. He fires off a couple of elbows into the midsection, just hard enough to create some distance between himself and Hawke. Davenport then fires off a couple of forearms to back Hawke up a few steps. Davenport runs into the ropes and takes Hawke down with a clothesline, knocking Hawke to the mat. A fatigued Wes Davenport drops to his knees for a second, then runs into the ropes again, once again dropping Hawke to the mat with a clothesline. Davenport again drops to his knees, standing back up just as Hawke gets back to his feet. Davenport runs into the ropes, but this time he gets caught with a knee to the back by his opponent at From the Fire, El Luchadore Magnifico.

 

“Cheap shot from the outside,” Pete astutely points out as Jay Hawke takes advantage, immediately locking the dazed Davenport into a front facelock. Smiling toward the corner, Hawke and Maddix share a nod before Hawke drops down with a DDT that has Davenport landing vertical on the canvas before collapsing in a heap.

 

“That’s it,” says King. “That DDT put Insane Luchador out before his hiatus, and it just ended Wes Davenport’s career before the biggest match of his life!”

 

“But Hawke’s not going for the cover!”

 

Instead, Hawke leaves a prone Davenport on the canvas and walks over to the corner, tagging in El Luchadore Magnifico as he says, “He’s all yours, champ.”

 

“Hawke graciously allowing Magnifico the opportunity to finish Davenport off.” King smugly observes. “That’s the sign of a good, unselfish teammate; allowing another to land the indescribably satisfying deathblow.”

 

“King, Wes has withstood a beating from Magnifico’s entire team throughout the match.” An annoyed LDP points out. “What makes you think he’ll stay down this time?”

 

“Well, they can only play around with him so long.” King shrugs. “This seems like it’s be just about the right time for ELM to get serious and finish Wes off once and for all.”

 

Magnifico saunters over to Wes, grabs him by the hair, and pulls him up by it so that Davenport is on his knees. Completely dazed, Wes seems oblivious to Magnifico as he leans down and grins right in Davenport’s face. Amused, ELM observes Wes in this way for a few seconds…

 

*SMAAAACK*

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”

 

…before slapping him right across the cheek, drawing a deafening wave of boos from the furious crowd as he does so! Davenport’s head is knocked to one side, but he’s held up by Magnifico’s grip on his scalp. Chuckling to himself, ELM painfully pulls Wes to his feet before pulling him into a Front Facelock. In no particular hurry, Magnifico then casually hooks Wes’ leg, setting him up for the Barrio Buster to the great displeasure of the live audience.

 

“What’d I tell you?” A delighted King gloats. “Magnifico will hit the Barrio Buster and take Wes completely out of this match. His dejected teammates won’t even have the heart to try and break up the pin.”

 

ELM holds Davenport in that position for a moment before hoisting him up into the air, ready to finish him once and for all with his signature Fisherman’s Buster! However, before Magnifico can take him over his shoulder, Wes begins to kick and struggle wildly in mid-air, preventing ELM from lifting him any further! An annoyed Magnifico puts Wes back down on the mat, only to immediately lift him back up, determined to hit the Buster! However, Wes once again categorically refuses, struggling wildly as he’s lifted and drawing a hopeful pop from the capacity crowd! Magnifico puts Davenport down once more, but this time, Wes uses his free hand to wildly bash away at ELM’s gut, doing whatever he can to weaken Magnifico’s grip and break free of his hold! ELM grits his teeth and does his best to maintain his grip…but fails, as Davenport jerks his leg and hand free and makes a break for the ropes behind him! Stunned by the assault on his stomach, ELM drops to one knee and clenches his gut, doing so as Wes bounces off of the ropes on the opposite side of the ring. Davenport comes off the ropes and quickly bears down on the luchadore…but as he approaches, Magnifico suddenly leaps to his feet and shoots his hands out, apparently looking to wrap them around Wes’ arm and neck for another Capture Suplex! Davenport skids to a halt and counters Magnifico’s prying hands by simply kicking him square in the stomach, doubling ELM over in the middle of the ring! Moving quickly, Wes pulls Magnifico into a Front Facelock and immediately falls onto his back, violently bringing ELM down with him and slamming his skull into the canvas with a DDT! Stunned by the force of the DDT, ELM simply falls onto his stomach, not moving a muscle after being hit with the maneuver. Meanwhile, the delighted crowd roars as a supremely exhausted Wes flops onto his back, his chest heaving as he stares blankly up at the lights.

 

“It’s a Wonderful DDT!” Pete shouts.

 

“It didn’t look all that special to me.” King glumly observes.

 

“Wes powers his way out of the Barrio Buster and counters Magnifico’s attempt at a Capture Suplex before planting him into the canvas with his signature DDT!” Pete reports, ignoring King as he does so. “This might be the break him and his team needs to get back into this match!”

 

Wes lies motionless on the canvas for several seconds, knowing that he’s got to get moving but simply unable to summon up the strength to do it. Slowly, surely, a chant grows from the back of the crowd, gaining in volume as more and more people join in.

 

“LET’S GO WES! LET’S GO WES! LET’S GO WES!”

 

Eventually, nearly everyone in the arena is shouting the phrase, most of them stomping their feet in tune with the chant as well. Eager to help his partner out, Max King begins to bash the top turnbuckle in time with the chanting while shouting at Wes to get to his feet. A smile comes over Wes’ face that seems to say, “Okay, okay, I’m coming already” as he slowly turns onto his stomach and pushes himself to his hands and knees. Davenport begins to agonizing crawl over to his corner as Magnifico shakes off the effects of the DDT and pushes himself to his hands and knees behind him. Guided by the barely-audible shouts of Hawke and Skull, ELM begins to crawl towards his own corner, taking deep, ragged breaths through his gaping mouth as he does so.

 

“This match might very well come down to who reaches their corner first!” Pete exclaims.

 

“And since Magnifico is significantly closer, I guess, by your own admission, that his team is going to win the match.” King innocently remarks.

 

Indeed, Magnifico started a lot closer to his own corner than Wes did, and has an advantage of a couple feet on Davenport in this bizarre race. With Davenport still a significant distance from his corner, Magnifico lunges towards his teammates and throws his hand out, slapping the palm of the Crimson Skull as he does so! Fearful that this might put an end to Wes’ attempt to reach the corner, the tense crowd quiets somewhat as Skull quickly climbs into the ring and barrels towards the far corner. Hearing the thunderous footsteps behind him, Davenport grits his teeth, lunges to his feet, and throws himself at his corner…

 

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!”

 

…where Max King slaps his forearm, making the hot tag to the great pleasure of the live audience! His initial target taken away, Skull skids to a halt in the middle of the ring as an amped-up King enters the squared circle and immediately charges at Skull. Annoyed, Skull takes a step towards Max and lashes out with his arm, looking to slam it into King’s neck with a devastating Lariat! However, King manages to deftly duck beneath Skull’s arm and continue running! Max immediately charges towards the corner after dodging the Lariat, nailing a surprised Hawke in the face with a running Forearm and then slamming his elbow into the side of Magnifico’s head, who had just gotten to his feet on the apron!

 

“Now that’s just plain unsportsmanlike!” King whines. “How could Hawke or Magnifico have known that Max was going to attempt such a blatant cheapshot!”

 

“Their team has handed out enough cheap shots over the course of this contest, so I don’t think you’re really in a position to complain.” Pete points out.

 

The crowd roars once more as both men fall to the outside, hitting the floor Max spins towards the third member of the team…just in time to see Skull leaping into the air, looking to slam all of his weight into King with a Corner Splash! However, Max displays remarkable agility by rolling out of the way just before impact, leaving Skull to simply crash into the corner’s turnbuckles with cringe-inducing force! Skull collapses against said turnbuckles, gasping for breath as the collision with the corner knocked all the wind out of him. That struggle for oxygen doesn’t get any easier when Max slices his forearm into Skull’s chest with a vicious Knife-Edge Chop!

 

*SMAAAAAAAAAACK*

 

“WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”

 

His mouth agape and his eyes bulging, a dazed Skull stumbles out of the corner with a hand on his chest, knowing only that he has to get out of that corner. However, the second he does so, King grabs him by the arm and whips him across the ring, sending Skull charging towards Max’s corner! As he approaches the corner, Skull seems to shake off his dumbfoundedness and quickens his pace, apparently looking to take a page from King’s book and attack Wes and Landon! Crimson lashes out with both arms as he reaches the corner, aiming them at Davenport and Maddix…only to miss when his targets simply duck beneath Skull’s outstretched arms!

 

“The Crimson Skull thought he could knock Wes and Landon from their perch as easily as King did Magnifico and Hawke,” Pete begins, “But he might as well have sent Davenport and Maddix a telegraph that said ‘Dear Fellows, I am going to try to Lariat the both of you. All the best, The Crimson Skull.’”

 

Skull crashes chest first into the top turnbuckle, apparently having forgotten that the ring basically comes to an end there. Dazed by the newest shock of pain, Skull stumbles backwards and towards the center of the ring…where Max drives his knee right into the small of Skull’s back! Skull throws his head back and cries out in pain, providing King with a perfect target for the second part of the Complex! Max lashes out with his foot and drives it right into the back of Skull’s…skull, immediately knocking him to the canvas with the devastating force of the blow! Moving quickly, King falls to his knees, turns Skull onto his back, and then covers the gigantic masked man as the overexcited fans cheer their little hearts out. Max reaches for Skull’s leg and hooks it, doing so as the ref slides into position and begins counting…

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRRRRRRRRNNNNNOOOOO!! Hawke comes from out of nowhere and dives on Max’s back, breaking up the pin just in the nick of time! A booming “OHHHHH!” escapes the audience as King rolls onto his stomach and slaps the mat, sure he had the match won. Meanwhile, Hawke groggily climbs to his feet next to Skull, looks up…and comes face to face with a very displeased Wes Davenport! Before Jay has a chance to react, Wes clocks him right in the chin, inciting a brawl between the two that immediately gets the crowd right back into the match!

 

“Wes is NOT happy.” Pete astutely observes. “Max had this match won for his team, but Hawke just barely managed to break it up.”

 

“Hey, if he doesn’t like the dynamics of tag team wresting, maybe he should stick to singles competition.” King comments. “Oh, wait, he sucks at that too. Never mind.”

 

Landon watches with just a bit concern as Davenport beats his stablemate across the ring, not even taking notice of El Luchadore Magnifico, who is taking advantage of the confusion to sneak up behind Maddix. In fact, Landon doesn’t become aware of his presence until Magnifico grabs him by the ankles from behind! ELM immediately pulls back on Landon’s ankles, jerking him off of the apron and causing him to fall chin-first onto it! Magnifico begins to wildly jab away at Maddix’s chin and face, pushing him across the floor as he lets loose some of the frustration built up throughout the match. Meanwhile, back in the ring, Max is on his feet and has a grip on Skull’s scalp. King uses said grip to pull Skull to his feet, before stepping behind him and pulling Skull into a Reverse Facelock! Receiving no resistance from his opponent, King then grabs Skull’s leg, hoists him into the air, and then falls onto his back, slamming Skull’s head into the canvas with an Ego Buster! The crowd cheers as loud as they have all night as Skull simply flops onto his back, completely motionless after being hit with King’s signature Reverse Fisherman Buster.

 

“Ego Buster! Ego Buster! That’s got to be it!” Pete exclaims. “With Skull out of it and his teammates occupied, victory looks assured for King and his team!”

 

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that.” King cuts in. “Magnifico might not just be as occupied as you think.”

 

At nearly the exact same time as the Ego Buster is being landed, Magnifico whips Landon into steel steps, Maddix crashing back-first into the unforgiving structure! Landon slumps to the floor as ELM looks towards the ring, wondering who hit the canvas with such force just now. He catches sight of King rolling onto his stomach and reaching for Skull, ready to cover him and end the match! Moving quickly, Magnifico slides into the ring, pops to his feet, and then absolutely decks King in the face with a Rockette-esque kick as he’s making the cover! Max is knocked onto the canvas, his hands on his face as rolls around on the mat in severe pain. Meanwhile, on the other side of the ring, Hawke has gained an advantage in the brawl with Wes, having landed three straight blows in a row. Seeing that his help is needed on the other side of the ring, Hawke suddenly throws his shoulder into Wes’ stomach, doubling him over, before grabbing Davenport by the waist of his pants and the scruff his neck and simply throwing him out of the ring! Wes flies through the middle and top ropes and crashes awkwardly on the thinly-padded floor outside, drawing a collective wince and a wave of boos from the capacity crowd.

 

“What was that you just said, about all members of a team being occupied?” King smugly asks Pete, who remains silent. “It seems amazingly appropriate at the moment.”

 

ELM catches sight of Wes hitting the floor just before heading over to the corner nearest Max and ascending its turnbuckles. As he climbs, Jay strides over to King and kneels on his shoulders, pressing him flat on his back and preventing him from getting up! ELM reaches the top turnbuckle and carefully stands up on top of it, not discouraged a bit by the tens of thousands of people booing his every move. Said booing only grows louder when Magnifico turns towards his Mexican flag and salutes it proudly! Not a moment later, ELM leaps off of the top turnbuckle, flipping backwards as he does so and crashing towards King with a Mexican Pride Press! Thousands of flashbulbs go off, illuminating the entire ring as Magnifico makes perfect contact with the Press, his entire body slamming into Max’s stomach with ridiculous force! ELM flops onto his front side, clenching his stomach, as Jay, who is well aware of the current legal men, gets off of Max and drags Skull onto him! Shaking his head in disbelief as he does so, the ref slides into position and begins counting while deafening boos pour in from every corner of the arena…

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THHHHHHHHHHRRRRRREEEEEEEE!!

 

DING DING DING

 

“Your winners…” Funyon dutifully announces, “The team of Jay Hawke, The Crimson Skull, and EL LUCHADOOOOOOOORRE MAGNIFICOOOOOOOOOO!!”

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”

 

On the outside of the ring, Maddix claws onto the apron and slaps it in frustration, disappointed in himself for allowing Magnifico to get over on him. Wes shares essentially the same reaction on the other side of the floor, his hand on his forehead as he hands his head in defeat. In the ring, ELM slowly climbs to his feet while Hawke does his best to get Skull to his, congratulating him on getting the pinfall as he does so. When all three men are standing, they look out over the crowd and raise at least one arm in victory, further angering the already-enraged audience as they do so.

 

“Well, they only had their opponents out for a few seconds, but that’s all it took.” Pete grimly assesses. “The team of Magnifico, Hawke, and Skull took advantage of a great stroke of luck to win this contest.”

 

“Luck nothing.” King scoffs. “All those openings were created by the competitors. They’ve earned this victory.”

 

“We’ll argue about that on another occasion, because we’re out of time for tonight.” Pete states. “Thank you for tuning into Lockdown, ladies and gentlemen! Good night!”

 

The last image broadcasted is that of Jay Hawke, the Crimson Skull, and El Luchadore Magnifico, their arms raised in victory…

 

FADE OUT

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SWF Smarkdown © 2-27-2006

A Zero Hero Production

Smartmarks Wrestling Federation, 2006

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