HD: HR interview; NNMX respond

[Tony149 0]

[size=4][b]RIGHT NOW[/b],[/size]
[i]C’mon, it’s everything[/i]
[size=4][b]RIGHT NOW[/b][/size],
[i]Catch a magic moment, do it
Right here and now
It means everything[/i]

[img=http://img504.imageshack.us/img504/4824/am52hx.gif]

23 DAYS AWAY

SCHIAVONE
Welcome back, fans. We're just 23 days away from the greatest night in the history of our sport, AngleMania V. One of the feature matches you'll see that night is a World Tag Team Title bout between the champions, the New New Midnight Express, against my guests at this time, coming off a big win earlier tonight, the winners of the 2006 Anderson Cup... the HEAVENLY RRRROCKERS! 

The fans ERUPT as "Heart-Shaped Box" cues up for the third time tonight. Out to the interview stage come the Heavenly Rockers, both a little banged up but still full of energy. 

SCHIAVONE
A number of issues to touch on, gentlemen, but I want to start with the comments made last week on The Louisville Slugger by the "Man of Tomorrow," Frank Frankensteiner. He profusely expressed regret over the behavior from himself and his brother after the Anderson Cup, when they shoved you to the mat and smashed your trophy. Your first public comments on the events that occured at Zero Hour.

SYNTH
Mann and the Synthmeister, we saw what the Sooners had to lyric, Mr. S. The trophy [i]still[/i] might be scattered on the floor of the Staples Center! But when The Rockers from the Heavens do lunch with Bruisers from the Sooner State, beef ain't what's on the menu, home skillet. But love and respect is. It is what it is and it was what it is. Now let's go back to doing what we was doing back when we was doing it. Kick it!

COACH
What the hell did he just say?!

COLE
I [i]think[/i] he said there's no hard feelings. 

LOGAN
Everybody knows big Frank is one to speak his mind, as...heh...Synth and I have personally found out in the past. Now we're looking toward the present and the future. And I don't mean Hoff, that jacked up bitch who's gonna get his ass handed to him by Mr. T later tonight. The future is AngleMania V. Our date with fate. The night we and our fans have been waiting for since we returned last October. Simon and Ned can take credit for breaking bones and hearts, but one thing they failed to break was our SPIRIT! We've never been more united than we are right here and right now! Fitting since that is the theme to AngleMania. Simon and Ned, they've had their fun. We'll have ours April 2nd at AngleMania V. The night our fate becomes reality. 

"YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

SCHIAVONE
Your road to AngleMania hasn't been an easy one. We've talked about your match with the Sooner Bruisers at Zero Hour, but equally as impressive was your win earlier tonight, downing the South Central Militia, whose sole purpose was to inflict as much damage as possible on you two prior to AngleM-- 

* B-BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ *

The lights go out in the arena. Color bars appear on the oval AngleTron over to the side of the interview stage, before turning into a close-up shot of a grinning NED BLANCHARD and SIMON SINGLETON, the New New Midnight Express, riding inside a limo. 

NED
Hey, guys! How are you? Good I hope. Because I get the feeling that will all change after you see this tape. 

SIMON
Which is on tape delay, FYI. Don't want you guys wasting what's left of your brains wondering if this is live or memorex. :lol: 

NED
Brother Singleton, you are comedy personified! As I promised last week, we're currently on our way to surprise a very special person, a person whom we both happen to care a great about, Logan, though most likely for much different reasons. You happen to be in head over heels love with her; but she's tank-top over head in lust over me. I mean, come on, let's be honest with each other. If Holly was lusting over you, you wouldn't think twice about jumping into the sack with that hot thing. Love or not. When it comes to a piece of meat that hot and that raw, we're all animals trying to get our bite. 

SIMON
Still there, Mann? Has your jaw your hit the floor yet? Has the color drained from your cheeks? Do you look like Jacko, you whacko? Stay with me, Mann, because you haven't seen anything yet. It's gonna get real good now. 

NED
Jump cut! 

A jump cut it is, as the limo is now parked outside a beautiful Mediterranean Estate with a lushly manicured garden in Hollywood Hills, California. 

NED
Logan, I know most of you rock stars are stone stupid, but I'm kind of hoping that this place looks familiar to you, buddy. It should. That's where Holly lives, right? What a home. It's not my Italian Villa in Beverly, but it's none too shabby. How much do you think a place like this runs for, Simon? 

SIMON
Couple million, maybe. I heard that Halle Berry's house is around here.

NED
Been there, done her. I know for a fact that Richard Simmons lives up here also. Big fan of Los Diablos, so I hear. But anyway. What about you, Logan. Do you live there, too? I'd hate to think somebody as hot as Holly lives alone. They're plently of freaks out there, you know. All kinds of twisted sickos and perverts, who are just chomping at the bit to chomp on her sweet little bits. But lucky for you and her, I'M here!

SIMON
Hey, check it out, Ned. I think she's in there cooking. 

NED
Holly cooking? No way.

The camera zooms through the front window and sure enough, Holly is cooking something. 

NED
If she's barefooted, then all she needs is a real man to help her make a baby. 

SIMON
You already have a child, Ned. 

NED
Not with Holly. Let's go inside and see what she's cooking. Maybe she made enough for us. 

SIMON
Damn I wish Pat O'Brien was here. We're about to get inside. 

NED
Jump cut!

So we do. Now at the front door and having changed into tuxedos, Ned rings the doorbell, which is set to the tune of [i]Another Brick in the Wall[/i].

* DING DING *

SIMON
Jesus dancing on a hot tin roof! You were right, Ned. Luckily we are here. The security is horrible. 

NED
Atrocious. 

SIMON
Non-existent. 

NED
Lacking, inadequate, wanting, suspect, insufficient, unsatisfactory, sparse, rotten, subpar.

SIMON
Uh...horrible. 

NED
Cool doorbell. We don't need no education! We don't need no thought control! Very hip. But not as hip as my 50 Cent [i]In Da Club[/i] doorbell. It's the sweetness.

(Humming the tune, Ned rings it again)

HOLLY (Off-Screen)
Coming!

NED
I'm sure she is. 

Ned looks directly into the camera, smugly raising both eyebrows.

SIMON
:P 

The door opens. Greeting Simon and Ned at the door is a stunned Holly-Wood, wearing workout pants and a white t-shirt. Ned barrages right in as Holly remains shellshocked. 

HOLLY
(her voice nervous and unsure)
Get out before I call the cops. 

SIMON
Go ahead. It seems like the fine men in blue owe us a little favor for not charging COD with breaking and entering a year ago. :lol:

HOLLY 
Who the hell is that?

NED
Somebody needs to capture the action on tape, honey bunny. 

HOLLY
What action? What are you talking about?

NED
Ever see the movie "Misery"?

HOLLY
Oh, God. 

The chilling realization that Ned and Simon aren't here to sample her shrimp gumbo forces her to make a frantic dash to the nearest phone.

NED
(casually)
Pin her down. 

Simon grabs Holly and pins her down on the couch, much to his delight. The poor girl violently thrashes against his grip, which only brings a detestable smile to Ned's visage.

NED
It looks like you've done this before, Simon. 

SIMON
Rhonda Sue and I have to keep the sparks alive in the bedroom somehow. You really have to take your time with the lady folk and spice things up. Speed is for NASCAR and Jiffy Lube, not the bedroom. That's what I've learned.

Ned comes over and takes a seat next to Holly, wrapping his arm around her neck, his attempts to cop a feel repeatedly thwarted.

NED
Look at her squirm. Don't you just love watching the female body in motion? It's so beautiful, isn't it?(he gently slides his fingers through her hair) God, I could watch her all day. But you're so tense and afraid, honey bunny. You don't have to be scared, pretty baby, I'm your Neddy Bear. I'm not gonna hurt you.

HOLLY
Leave me alone or I swear to god...

NED
Leave you alone? I could as much leave my heart, or my soul, or my mind alone as I could you. You're my dream. Wet and fantasty. And...

HOLLY
Get out! Now!

Simon makes himself useful, putting his hand over Holly's mouth to muffle her furious cries. It doesn't deter Holly however, as she only increases the decibel level of her violent screams.

HOLLY
Mmmmmffff!

SIMON
(struggling to keep her down)
These redheads are a feisty bunch! You know the saying “paint the town red”? Do you think she's painted downtown red? If you know what I mean.

NED
I know exactly what you mean, brother Singleton, and I'm dying to find out. What do you say, Holly? Do you prefer to show or tell? You don't dress like your shy, but if you are, Simon can close his eyes and you can just give The Ned Man a lil ol' peek at your final frontier. How about it?

Stricken with panic, Holly resumes the uphill battle of raging against their tenebrous clutches. But the hold of the muscular demons proves insurmountable and she seems to be forever forced to endure their brand of torture.

HOLLY
(Speaking so softly it sounds as if she's a mile away)
Please...go away.

NED
(laughing)
Damn, girl, you gotta let me finish. You're almost as bad as Krista, but at least you don't throw things. The real reason I'm here is to apologize to you. 

HOLLY
I don't want your apologies. I..I..want you out of my house and out of my life!

NED
(caressing her flame red locks)
You don't mean that, honey bunny.

HOLLY
Oh, yes I do. I do.

SIMON
You hear that, Ned? She said I do. 

NED
All the chicks wanna marry the Ned Man. But I'm not hear to accept your marriage proposal, Holly. No, baby. I'm hear to turn your fantasy into reality. I know I've been neglecting your fantasy. I also know you must be depressed that I haven't called to check on you, maybe thinking I don't care about you anymore. Now, I may not care for you emotionally, but physically...oh, my passion burns hotter then ever before. I spend nights anguishing over the fact we live not that far apart and you're just lying on your back, having to fake the big O so you don't hurt Logan's feelings. With me, you wouldn't have to fake anything, girl. I have my fingers, my tongue, and of course Dick Johnson. But again, I'm here to apologize. Now that Krista is out of our way, that lives us with only Logan to vanish. 

HOLLY
(hit by a gust of extreme worry)
Wha...what have you done to him?!

SIMON
Nothing. Yet.

NED
I've already ruled out murder because Simon and I end up doing that all the time we're in the ring with the Heavenly Rockers. Come on, how many more beatings can the guy take? But here we are, finally together. Logan is in Memphis. This portion of the taping will be beamed to OAOAST headquaters, where the fine people now in charge of the show have agreed to air this segment on tonight's show. Of course, the footage of the music you and I will make after Simon and our special little helper edit what we what shown will go directly into my personal collection. You know what I want. And I'll tell you what. Because I'm such a great guy, I'll make you a little promise. If you let me live my dream, cutie, I'll end your nightmare. But if you don't do me this little favor...then, well...your pain and misery's just getting started. You see, the war between the N-N-M-X and the Heavenly Rockers will come to a dramatic end at AngleMania. Synth and Logan are a real threat to us now. They want our tag belts. But that isn't going to happen, now, is it? History may not be my greatest passion, but take World War II for example. When the good ol' U.S. of A. dropped the A-bomb on Japan, they gave the Emperor a taste of bigger things to come if they didn't accept an unconditional surrender. Simon and I, we've given your boys a taste of things to come by having already broken hearts, bones and spirits. And when I crush your spirit, it stays crushed. Ask Krista.

HOLLY
Kiss my ass.

LOGAN
I never thought you'd ask. Heh Heh Heh. It's just like I asked you, how many more beatings do you think Logan and Synth possibly withstand? How many more times can Simon and I break that Eminem wannabe Synth's arm, before his career is kaput because we left him with as much drumming ability as an amputee. A one arm drummer may make a good "Dateline" human interest piece, but it don't make for good record sales. And what about your boyfriend? How many times are we gonna have to pound that no-talent, no singing sack of shit, because you're to selfish to give me what I want? I don't give a damn about the Heavenly Rockers! It's you, Holly, you are the glue that's keeping us altogether! How do you think he feels, knowing that his repeated trips to injured list are because his girlfriend is too uptight to take one for the team? If I don't get what I want tonight, who do you think I'll take it out on next week? Who's gonna bear the brunt of my rage? Who always bears the brunt of my rage? I'll hurt him, I'll hurt Synth, and it will be your fault. Their blood will be on YOUR hands if you don't accept an unconditional surrender. And you will have to live with that until you die. When you visit him in the hospital, in your mind, you will know that you put him there. When you wheel him out of the ER, in your mind, you will know you put him in that chair. You took his career. Your selfishness ruined him!

HOLLY
(failing to choke back her tears)
If you want it so bad, get it over with, asshole! 

NED
(whispering into her ear)
Oh, I want it bad. It's something I've wanted for a long, long time. Lead the way. 

Holly gets up and takes Ned into a room. Loud thuds and bangs can be heard coming from the room. 

HOLLY (Off-Screen)
What are you doing, asshole?!

NED
(grunting)
Having fun, honey bunny!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Simon sits on the sofa and puts on his I-Pod nano, grinning ear to ear. 

SIMON
See ya at AngleMania. 
(singing)
"I...could just die in your arms tonight..."  

* B-BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ *

The Heavenly Rockers are left speechless on the stage. After the initial shock wears off, they rush to the back. Pissed. 

COLE
(somber)
Oh...Oh, my God. 

COACH
See. Was it that hard? The Heavenly Rockers-NNMX feud is now over. Holly just saved her man and his best friend from another ass-kicking. 

CABOOSE
The feud isn't over. It's just begun. 

We cut backstage to our cameraman, presumably Marty because the man is everywhere, doing the best he can to keep up with the Heavenly Rockers as they run through the halls of the FedEx Forum. The camera follows Synth and Logan to the lockerrom, where Los Diablos de Feugo are laid near the doorway, a pair of SLAPJACKS near their curled up bodies. We enter the lockerrom and see the SOONER BRUISERS beating on the SCM in the corner, screaming that's for Holly. OAOAST officials do a good job keeping the brawl from intensifying, quickly separating the teams and escorting them out of the room. One OAOAST agent puts his hand over the lense as we fade to commerical.

Edited March 8, 2006 by Patty O'Green