Promo

[Guest HVilleThugg]

“Is it off?”

 

“Yeah dogg…you’re straight.”

 

The camera has stopped rolling, and Xstasy takes it down from his shoulder.  Across from him, lying on a hospital bed, is the Hville Thugg, who sinks back against the bed’s upright back, obviously in much pain.

 

(HVT) – AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!  GODDAMMIT!  

 

HVT screams out in pain as many doctors and nurses rush over to him, reconnecting the cords and tubes that he disconnected during his rant moments earlier.  HVT’s face grimaces as beeping restores to a monitor next to his bed, and the nurses take all kinds of readings.

 

(HVT) – YO!!  I SWEAR TO FUCKIN’ GOD…

 

(Xstasy) – Yo man…you aight?

 

(HVT) – FUCK NO I AIN’T AIGHT!  WHAT THE FUCK DOES A NIGGA GOTTA DO AROUND THIS BITCH TO GET A BLUNT…AND A 40?!?

 

(Xstasy) – Yo man…yo lunchin’.  That’s tight though man…it’s good to see that a little broken neck ain’t gonna stop the mighty Thugg.

 

(HVT) – Oh…come on playa…you know how dis is.  Just wait till I can walk son…it’s gonna be on then.  I’m a straight wreck them bamas.

 

(Xstasy) – Well, I’m there now bro, and you know I’m gonna hold it down.

 

(HVT) – Whatever yo…do your thing.  Don’t worry about me man…YO!  All yall bama ass doctors, get the hell out!  I’m aight!  Get out…I’m tryin’ to holla at my dog.

 

(Xstasy) – Yo man…you’re outta control.

 

HVT laughs as the doctors and nurses scurry out of the room, nearly knocking down Edwin MacPhisto, who pushes his way into the room.

 

(Edwin) – Hey X, what’s going…?

 

(Xstasy) – Hey Edwin.  He’s awake…

 

HVT looks at Edwin, and then at X…

 

(Edwin) – I see that.  Why didn’t you wake me up?

 

(Xstasy) – You looked tired man.  We’ve been here for 3 days man, I didn’t see any reason to wake you.

 

(Edwin) – Yeah…well, I feel like a new man now.  Thugg, how you feeling man?

 

(HVT) – {chuckling} How am I feeling…ha ha ha ha…well…I HAVE A BROKEN FUCKING NECK!  HOW THE HELL DO YOU THINK I’M FEELING?!?  AND I STILL AIN’T GOT NO BLUNT!  I KNOW THERE’S SOME HERB UP IN THE BITCH!!

 

(Edwin) – Ahhh…same ol’ Thugg.

 

(Xstasy) – Yeah…

 

(Edwin) – OH!  Guess who I ran into on my way in here…

 

X and HVT look at Edwin like “WTF?” as Edwin walks back over to the door, pushes it open, revealing a vivacious woman standing there holding flowers, looking nervous.  A silence falls over the room as the woman and HVT stare at each other.  She slowly walks in, never taking her eyes off of Thugg.

 

(HVT) – Hey…

 

“Hey.”

 

HVT motions with his right hand for her to come over, and she drops the flowers and darts toward him.  They embrace tight, a huge smile on both their faces, but she squeezes a little too tight, and HVT’s face cringes in pain.

 

(HVT) – Sarah…Sarah…SARAH!

 

(Sarah) – Oh…sorry.  So, how is it?

 

(HVT) – Well, I got a broken neck…I’m done.

 

(Sarah) – Done??  No!  Are you serious?

 

(HVT) – Yep.  It’s over…but it’s all good yo.  I ain’t trippin’ off that…

 

(Sarah) – I’m sorry.  I would’ve been here sooner, but I saw the whole thing on TV in Nebraska, but I couldn’t get a flight out here until today.

 

Mistress Sarah turns around and hits Xstasy on the arm, causing him to flinch back.

 

(Sarah) – Why didn’t you call me?!?  I was worried sick.

 

(Xstasy) – Sorry…I didn’t think to.

 

(HVT) – Yo, it’s all good.  The important thing is that you’re all here now…

 

(Edwin) – This is kind of weird.  I never thought the day would come when Thugg would be laid up in a hospital, and I’d be standing by his bedside with Xstasy and Mistress Sarah.  Is this world turning upside down?

 

Everyone laughs as the crowned prince shakes his head in disbelief at the whole situation.

 

(HVT) – Yo, believe me…I didn’t think this would ever happen either.  But you know yo…just look at the bright side of it…you’re the world champion now.

 

(Edwin) – Hey…yeah…yes I am!  WOO HOO!!

 

Edwin starts to do a little dance in the middle of the floor, but in the midst of his “breakdown”, Edwin bumps Thugg’s bed, forcing a scream of pain from Thugg.

 

(Edwin) – Sorry…So, what now?  We gotta get to Tulsa by tomorrow so we can be ready for Storm.  Should I get some flights?

 

(HVT) – Yeah man…yall go ahead.  I’ll be aight…

 

(Xstasy) – Yeah man…you go make that call…get the flights…I’ll be right behind you.

 

Edwin starts to head for the door…

 

(HVT) – Edwin…

 

…but stops when Thugg beckons.

 

(Edwin) – Yeah?

 

HVT looks directly in Edwin’s eyes, and bows his head as he says…

 

(HVT) – Thank you.

 

(Edwin) – Oh…don’t mention it man.  You’d have done the same for me.

 

(HVT) – Probably not…which makes you a better man than me.  So, thank you Edwin…I’ll see you around.

 

(Edwin) – Well, you’re welcome Damien…get better soon bro.

 

(HVT) – No doubt.

 

HVT sticks out his fist, as best he can, towards Edwin, who walks over and pounds Thugg’s fist with his own.  A head nod ushers Edwin out, and he leaves looking rather content.  There’s an awkward silence, but HVT quickly breaks it…

 

(HVT) – Hey Sarah, you gonna stick around?  These guys gotta go to the show, but you can stay.

 

(Sarah) – Yeah, I’ll stay for a few hours.  I gotta get back to Nebraska by tomorrow, but I want to stay for a while.

 

(HVT) – Aight…bet.  Can you give us a minute then?  Hey, I need that nurse of whatever to come in here and fix this damn drip…can you get her?

 

(Sarah) – Sure, I’ll send her in.

 

(HVT) – Thanks!  Oh…and get me a forty or a blunt of something.  A nigga can’t live like this.

 

Sarah nods back to Thugg, and then heads out of the door, leaving the Perfect Drug, Xstasy, and the Angry Black Man alone in the ring.  They look at each other, and immediately, all the history…all the feelings…all the drama starts to run through both their heads.

 

(HVT) – Yo man…

 

(Xstasy) – Yo…I can’t believe it man.  I can’t believe this is it.  I mean…yo.

 

(HVT) – I know man…I know.

 

(Xstasy) – Yo…we been through so much since you got here over a year ago.  Damn man…

 

(HVT) – Yeah man…I remember it like it was yesterday.  I remember when I first got to the JL man, and I attacked that bitch Danny.  Remember that?

 

(Xstasy) – Yeah…I remember it.  We got over on them bamas like a mug.  They had no idea did they?

 

(HVT) – Not until I put it to dat nigga Grunge.  What ever happened to him?

 

(Xstasy) – Dunno…but man, that was great.  But you know, it wasn’t always that good.

 

(HVT) – Yeah, we’ve definitely had our ups and downs man.  But you know what yo…

 

(Xstasy) – What?

 

(HVT) – All that shit don’t matter.  Cause we stay down man…we always gonna be boys…brothers!  We always gonna keep it real, wit everyone else…and each other.  We gonna hold it down, even if that means us whoopin’ some nigga’s ass…or whoopin’ each other’s ass.  As much as we got into son, I know that you always got my back, and you know I got yours.  I mean, when I was laying there on the mat on Sunday, I knew you were coming man…I knew it.  There was never a doubt in my mind.  And when I felt that pop in my neck, I didn’t even get mad yo, cause I knew you were coming to hold it down for you boy.  And of course, you held it down.

 

(Xstasy) – True, true…

 

(HVT) – But whatever yo…it’s still tight.  I know it’s kind of a blower that I have to retire, but for real…it’s whatever.  And don’t worry yo, I’ll be walking again soon, and I’ll put it to those bitches who did this.

 

(Xstasy) – And I’m gonna hold it down until then yo.

 

(HVT) – Aight yo, well…you should bounce playa.  I kind of need to be alone with my thoughts for a minute, and you need to get at Edwin about getting to Tulsa.

 

(Xstasy) – Yeah…I’m a bounce.  I’ll holla.

 

(HVT) – Holla.

 

With that, Xstasy exits the room, leaving HVT all alone with his thoughts…something he hasn’t had in a very long time.  HVT leans back, relaxing completely before drifting into his subconscious.

 

“Well yo…this is it.  It’s gonna be weird.  After 15 months of this, it’s over.  I think I’m supposed to be sad.  I’m not really…I’m pissed that those fucks broke my neck, but they’ll get there’s.  But you know…I never really expected this.  When I first got to the JL, I never once thought that I’d be the champion…let alone, the longest reigning champ.  When I got to the WF, I never thought I’d get to be champion, let alone one of the greatest of all time.  I mean…wow…how the hell did I do that??  Well, goes to show you an overweight, slow, beast of a man can still hold it down in the wrestling game.  But now, after all the success, it seems my time is up.  Thanks to Stubby McWeed…Stubby McWeed…Stubby McWeed…that fuck!  I’m gonna kill him!  That’s it…he’s gonna die.  I will walk again, and when I do…oh when I do…

 

“Ok, stay calm Damien…stay calm.  But he will pay.  They will all pay!  I may be retired, and I may never be able to wrestle again, but they haven’t seen the last of me!  They haven’t seen the last of Damien McKinney…THE HVILLE THUGG!”

 

THE END!

[Guest HVilleThugg]

And now, for the traditional thank you’s and such…

 

First, sorry X, but you don’t get a thank you.  I know you in real life, so if you want a thank you, get in touch with my black ass you bitch.  J

 

Sorry these aren’t longer, but I’m not feeling very long-winded today.  These are in particular order, so…here goes…

 

Edwin – Yo man!  Thanks for a kick ass retirement angle bro!  The many nights of brainstorming were the most fun I’ve had not working with X.  I really think we nailed it.  And congrats on winning that title man…you worked your ass off for it, and no one deserves it more.  Do my title proud man.

 

Stubby – Thanks for taking a chance on me bro, way back when.  There was a lot of flack going around about me not being at the world title level, but you took a chance anyway, so I gotta give you your props on that one.  Sorry about the changing the card and making matches thing, but we talked about that.

 

King – I hate you!  No, I’m just kidding.  Thanks for all the fun times, especially the you, me, and X thing.  That was fun.  God I love writing your heel character…I love it so much!!  You rock man, and I hope you come back one day.  I’m still pissed that I’ve never beaten you, but I suppose I’ll have to get over it.  Oh, and you love the cock.

 

Stevens – Well man…it’s over.  I’m joining you and King in the WF retirement home.  Make room on that couch for big ol’ HVT…what time does Matlock come on?  Anyway…like you said, we had our differences in the past, but we got past them.  In fact, I was showing Wilson that thread where we got into it, and I started reading it over.  Boy I was pissed that day! LOL…But you know what, It think that whole experience made us actually become better acquainted, and dare I say…friends?  Yeah, I dare say it.  You’re one of the nicest and most mature people around, and I can’t say enough good things about ya.  SO I won’t try…beeatchJ

 

Wilson – Boyo…it’s all over man.  As you make your return, I’m stepping out.  We did have some fun times together though, despite some of your extreme tactics.  Thank you for getting me into the WF, and I have you to thank for my quick rise to the top.  If it were not for you and the IGNWO and your homosexual obsession with the Midnight Carnival, I may STILL be working my way up.  So, thanks!

 

ELM – It feels like forever since we had our set of like 324325432432 matches.  Thanks for pushing me to keep writing better.  Oh, and thank you for being the victim of my opportunistic lunge at the title.  It sounds mean, but it’s not.  You didn’t get mad when I just used your character in those promos, because if you had, I would have probably backed off and I wouldn’t have become champion.  So thank you for not getting mad.

 

Sarah – Well, you’re not around, but I’m sure you lurk a bit.  We started the beginning of our careers together, in the same stable, and running a lot of angles together.  We became pretty decent friends…well, as good as you can get with someone who you’ve never met in real life.  I know we kind of grew apart in the WF…you know, me with the ego problem and you with…well, I’m not really sure why we grew apart, but we did.  But thanks for all the good times and hope I didn’t mess nothing up with you in this promo.

 

Crusen – Crusen, gold two-seater.  Stash in the dash, hold 2 heaters.  Sorry, that was for X…still lunchin yo.  Anyway, damn it’s been a long time since we were battling.  We sure had some fun times with our OOC war.  What was it, like 6 or 7 matches.  Now, with both of us retired, I think it’s time to tally up, and by my count, I think I’m ahead by 1…4-3?  Or is it 3-2?  I think I’m up one.  But yeah man…fun times and thank you.

 

Rotten – Yeah, you get a shout out too, even though you don’t answer my PMs.  I am thanking you for one night in chat.  I was asking you honestly about my skills here, and you honestly told me that when I’m on, I’m gold…but when I’m off, I stink up the place.  There was no more accurate description for it.  I used it to try and be more consistent, so thank you for telling me that.

 

Midnight Carnival – WOO!  You guys are so fun!  I’m looking forward to more MC antics in the future.  Raynor, you da man…still…I think you’re the only person that I didn’t mention already, so…sorry.  But, we talk all the time on AIM, so I don’t really have to get all sentimental on you.  Good luck in Utah though…HAHAHAHA!!  Keep it real up there man.

 

Jay Deezy – Damn son, you went a got good or something.  Too bad you had to be stripped, but I know you’re not around for a few months, so it’s understandable.  Despite you being an ass most of the time, you’re actually a pretty chill guy to chat with.  I’m glad we got to be in Da Pound together, so thanks for the fun evil-doings.

 

The Big Evil AKA Sacred – Yo man!  After all this time, you’re still holding it down.  Congrats on the ICTV title, and here’s hoping you get over that hump REAL soon and get to the world level.  I think you’re already there, but it doesn’t really matter what I think.  So, keep holding it down man, and we’ll see what we can do about making the shows earlier. J

 

Who am I forgetting…

 

Oh yeah…this fuck!

 

BO – You little bitch!  You broke my neck, and now you must die.  But seriously though, since you returned the first time, you and I have becomes good friends.  Too bad that little deal didn’t go through…eh man?  But in all seriousness…you are the person in the fed that I respect the most.  You juggle a lot man, but I respect you the most of taking care of your responsibilities.  There’s a lot of men out there that don’t, so I respect that man.  But I do owe you an ass whoopin’ for stealing my quote in the sig thing you bastard.  Just wait till I come to NYC…then we’ll see beeatch!  I’ll see ya around Chuck.

 

TBS – You always held it down for me man, so thanks for that.  And thanks for listening to me bitch all the time.  And while I’m at it…

 

All my Chat peeps – Thanks for enduring my egomaniacal ramblings in chat.  Thanks for listening to me bitch about how I’m gonna lose every time I write a match, and then win that match.  Thanks for not killing me or banning me from chat.  So props to you guys and gals…

 

TBS

Crowe

JD

G – in da heezy fo’ sheezy

Sarah

Kit

Jake

Thoth

.

.

.

there’s more, but I can’t remember.

 

Jake – I don’t know where you are man, but we had fun with the Alliance.  Psycho Jake was fun man…I hope you get back into the swing of things real quick.

 

Grimedogg & Chris Storm – I know you guys aren’t around and won’t read this, but I gotta put it in.  You two gave me my first chance…it was you two who thought I’d make a good JL champ.  So thank you.  Oh, and sorry Chris for completely killing your character so many times. J

 

I can’t think of anyone else right now because my fingers hurt.  So, if I forgot you, sorry.  This is it folks…it’s official…I’m retired.  No more HVT.  Of course, I’ll be around the boards because I could never leave like that…and I’ll be marking too, so…

 

Have fun everyone, and good luck!

 

Da “signing off for the last time” H

[Guest Ash Ketchum]

Brotha, good luck in whatever you do, dude.

 

Though we were only in the same league for a very short time twice, it still sucks to see ya go. You did that title proud, and I guess it's time to move on...

 

And so the list grows longer: King, Thugg, Strangler, Grand Slam, Munich, Spider, Kaimen/Adam... all of them at the WF Retirement home.

 

I'll stop by there sometime this week and bring some cookies or somethin'. And some beer.

[Guest Muzz]

*fights back tear* Damn Thugg, so sorry to see you go, as you've been the biggest part for these past few months. Goodingz luckingz in the futuringz big man.

 

I'll still be here, as always...

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

::sniffle::

 

THUUUUUUUGG!

 

But yeah, you've heard my thoughts a bazillion times, so I'll just say this: fanfrickintastic promo, amazing writing of characters, wonderful drama, all the stuff we've come to expect from Thugg.

 

And I'll do my best with the belt, don't worry.  If I blow it, you can come visit my hometown again, and instead of just getting trashed and pimping ladies on the beach, you can throw me off the roof of city hall.

[Guest HVilleThugg]

Consider that a threat Edwin!

 

Da "will do that to you too" H

[Guest Thoth]

Damn... I don't believe it.  I really don't believe it.

 

Thugg... you were the best.  I've looked up to a lot of people in my career... but you are the most dominant force I've ever had to face.  Your name strikes fear into the hearts of your opponents, and your win streaks and days with the world championship only allude to the power your writing holds.

 

Like they whispered Rane's name in the early days, they will whisper your name from now on.  The most dominant of all time.

 

It was an honor and a privilege to face you for the World Title when I was still pretty green in the WF, and I'm thankful for how you put me over a bit during that time.

 

It'll be sad to see you go, but you know what they say.

 

"They always come back..."

 

Oh, and one other note... Spider isn't retired.  Muwahahaha...

[Guest redbaron51]

Why Thugg is quitting.

 

HE FEARS ME!!!

 

jk

 

but it sad to see a dominate person like Thugg go

[Guest El Luchadore Magnifico]

Noooo! Now who's gonna beat me down like clockwork whenever I get out of line??

 

Anyway Thugg, I appreciate the comments, and I have to be honest when I say that I did get pretty mad when you won the Title from me, especially when it screwed up a good month and a half of build to me vs. Wilson. However, I realized that you won it because you were simply better than me, and whining about it would have done nothing.

 

Well, so long Thuggster. Quite possibly the best Champ we've ever had, and a hell of a guy too...

 

*tips Corona respectfully*

[Guest TheBostonStrangler]

ELM, I'll step up and kick your ass for you. I'm good like that. (Y)

 

And Thugg, man, you were a great one to have around. For a while, you were the reason that the WF kept working. Right now, it's looking better than ever, and you've played a big part in that. There were a lot of people who put you over, but you did the same thing when you got to the top. Bo, X, and Edwin all owe you a lot, just like you owe Wilson, Stubbs, and ELM a lot, so I think you paid everyone back in full. Make sure to stop by chat. You can still bitch about stuff at the PPV's. Just pretend you wrote something. You always said the same shit anyway. And like I always say, and like Thoth said earlier, "They always come back." Comet's the only one who hasn't, and no matter what you say, you ain't Comet, in so many ways.  So get whatever shit you need to done, and get your ass back into the fed.

[Guest Insanityman]

Later Thugg, you kick ass and you've always been helpful.

[Guest El Luchadore Magnifico]

Bring it on, Strangler, I'll shut up that NY-bashing mouth of yours...

[Guest Rabbi_wilson13]

*salutes Thugg*

 

Adios, mi amigo.  Obviously, we're still gonna chat on AIM and stuff, but I gotta show some love publicly.

 

I appreciate your respect, though I just got you set on the right track and started.  You did enough of this on your own.  However, we were about the most dominating twosome evar.  Add in ELM, and thats the bestest trio.  Add in King and you get a stable on the downslide, but still with every member holding the championship.  =)  We were the shiznit.

 

Best Thugg Moment: When he turned face for about three hours before he realized how much it sucked and turned back in the opening promo for IGNite, I believe.  King's comment afterward was golden.  It was something to the tune of "that was the most pointless turn/angle I've ever seen..."  Beautiful.  Sheer beauty.

[Guest Renegade]

Thugg, i havent ever really had a conversation with you or anything, but as a writer and a poster ever since the IGN boards, i have total respect for you. You always post on the JL board with positive and helpful opinions, and you never put people people down, you always did encourage us JL'ers with your feedback and comments. As far your writing, what can i say? what can anyone say? you kicked ass! Later Thugg, its great that youl still be around the  boards.