HD: NNMX promo

[Tony149 0]

Eh. I love it. Then I hate it. Then I love it again.

 

[b]Right Now... an AngleMania Moment![/b]

[quote]Alix staggers to her feet and Northstar is right on her case! Northstar puts her into position for the HOLLYWOOD HOMICIDE (play of the day)! The crowd boo's louder then they have all match as Northstar sets up for his finisher! THE MOVE IS COUNTERED! Alix uses Northstar's leg to flip him over backwards! NORTHSTAR LANDS ON HIS FEET! Alix leaps into the air and wraps her legs around his hips in a wheelbarrow position! She tries to come down with a bulldog, but Northstar throws her off! With Alix's back to him, Northstar charges with a shoulder block! Alix looks over her shoulder at the last minute, see's Northstar coming and SIDESTEPS Northstar's charge! KRWAAANG! Northstar's shoulder HITS THE EXPOSED STEEL POST! Northstar staggers backwards and Alix nails him with THE DIVORCE~! (single arm DDT!) to his hurt shoulder! THE CROWD POPS LIKE NEVER BEFORE!

Alix drapes her arm across Northstar's body and goes for the pin fall!

CROWD
1

CROWD
2

CROWD
3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The arena FUCKING EXPLODES~! with cheers after Jenna's hand hits the mat for that elusive three count! The fans' cheers almost drown out "One Call Away".

COACH (leaping into the air to celebrate)
SHE DID IT![/quote]

[size=4][b]RIGHT NOW[/b],[/size]
[i]C’mon, it’s everything[/i]
[size=4][b]RIGHT NOW[/b][/size],
[i]Catch a magic moment, do it
Right here and now
It means everything[/i]

[img=http://img504.imageshack.us/img504/4824/am52hx.gif]

THE ONLY MANIA WORTH WATCHING!

[b]Sunday, April 2nd
Live! Only on Pay-Per-View[/b]

GENE
We're now just 16 days away from all the glitz, all the glamour of the biggest night in professional wrestling, AngleMania V. In one of the most anticipated title bouts in recent memory, the winners of the 2006 Anderson Cup, the Heavenly Rockers, will challenge the New New Midnight Express for the World tag team championship. It was just one week ago on this very program, in one of the most disgusting displays I have ever seen, that "Sarcastic" Simon Singleton and "Narcissistic" Ned Blanchard crashed the house of Holly-Wood, the Heavenly Rockers publicist and girlfriend of Logan Mann. A lot of rumor and innuendo flying around about what went on [i]after[/i] the tape shown last week ended. Some say "The Handsome Hustler" conquered Holly-Wood, while others believe it was all a ruse, a ploy to get inside the minds of Synth and Logan weeks before the biggest match of their careers at AngleMania. I'm going to get to the bottom of this right here, right now, as I bring in the OAOAST World tag team champions, Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard. Gentlemen, come on in. You have lots of ex... 

Gene does a double take as Simon wheels in a wheelchair-bound Ned Blanchard, who is also sporting a neckbrace. 

GENE 
Wait just a minute. Ned Blanchard, you look like you've just been in a car wreck. 

SIMON
You gotta excuse my partner, Gene. Quite honestly, it hasn't been a good week for us. Jimmy is out with a sore throat and Ned...well, as you can see, he had quite the workout last week. 

NED
Holly was...oh-aw-ag-O-nyyyy, ag-O-nyyyy...an animal. She took her... oooh, it hurts to talk. It hurts to talk. 

SIMON
(comforting voice)
Take your time. Just take your time, buddy. 

NED
(groans)
She took her sexual frustration with Logan out on me. The mind was willing, but the body...ugh... the body could only handle so much. Awww, hell...!

Ned sits up, flips over the wheelchair and flicks his neckbrace toward the camera. 

SIMON
It's a miracle! 

NED 
It was the greatest experience of her life, not to mention my finest conquest. I said I was gonna do it, and you bet your bottom dollar, son, I did it! Holly couldn't get enough of it. Missionary, doggy-style, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl... she gave *69 a whole new meaning. By the way, Logan, the condom broke midway through intercourse, so I'm inside Holly forever, Mann! 
(opens up his vest; points to chest)
But that's not all. Look at this. You see this? That's a HICKEY, Gene! And that's not the only place I have a hickey at. I'd show you the other one, but it's too hot for TV. 

SIMON
But if you call the hotline tonight...

GENE
Give me a break, Singleton. 

SIMON
Nah, I'm prefer Reeces Pieces over Kit Kat bars. :P

NED
If there's one thing we all know, is if it's too hot for TV that means you're gonna offend a lot of people. And what a firestorm my segment caused last week. Jimmy tells me the phone has been ringing off the hook at J.C.E. headquaters from just about every woman's group known to man -- women who obviously haven't experienced a real man like the Handsome Hustler -- pissing and moaning over a little picture I'd like to call "Holly-Wood Inn." They found time to put down their vibrators to complain over two consenting adults having some foreplay. On the floor, on the bed, we did it just about everywhere. I hear Holly framed the condom I wore and has it hanging over her bed that way she'd never forget the time of her life. 

SIMON
I'd hate to be the one to follow up Ned. That's like a new actor coming in to take over the lead in a sequel. Chances are, he won't be as good as the original. :lol:

NED
Ric Flair eat your heart out, pops. You're looking at the new 60-minute man. Ultimately, that's who my actions last week benefitted the most. Logan Mann. You see, life is too short to sit behind a computer and write fanfiction. I turn fantasties into realities. I said I was gonna conquer Holly-Wood, and I did just that. I wanted to add her to the list of many who have experienced the sexecution only I can offer. Instead of bashing me, you should be praising Holly-Wood. Look at what she did for love. Who was that fat guy who sang the song which had a lyric that said "I would do anything for love..."? Meaty-Boy? The Hamburgler? 

SIMON
I think his name was Pork Chop. 

NED
Whatever that slob's name was, the whole damn world saw Holly would -- no pun intended, but a great pun nonetheless -- do anything for love. You talk about taking one for the team. The fact she was willing to get with Ned to protect her precious Mann proved to me once and for all, I could never win her heart. But it wasn't her heart I wanted in the first place. I killed two birds with one dick last week. I stuck it to the Mann, then I stuck it in the whore! 

GENE
You know, gentlemen, I've heard a lot about you two, especially you, Ned. I didn't want to judge either one of you until I met you in person. But you are everything they say you are...

NED
We look even hotter in person, right? 

GENE (CONT'D)
...a prick!

"YEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

Ned sneers, his fist cocked. 

GENE 
How can you be so braggidocious? 

SIMON & NED
:huh:

GENE (CONT'D)
You put a lovely young woman through pure hell. And for what? To humiliating Logan? To gain a slight mental advantage? Because your actions benefitted no one but yourself. That was sexual blackmail. You went way over the line, pal. 

SIMON
That's pyschological warfare, Mr. Magoo. Ned gave one of the most breath-taking performances you'll ever last week. Hell, that's all we've been doing since regaining the tag titles. EVERYBODY is wanting a piece of the hottest tag team in the world today. We're like an uncontrolable wildfire, blazing through every and anything in our path. We just about single-handedly put The Usual Suspects into witness protection. Then came C.O.D. 

NED
B-E-A-T!

SIMON 
The Heavenly Rockers were supposed to be next, but I understand Logan Mann has gone into hiding. Now that I think about, that's even MORE embarrassing! For somebody whose last name is Mann, you sure do act like a BOY, Logan! You're hiding behind a skirt! Or pants in this case. I don't recall ever seeing Holly-Wood wear a skirt. But it's still embarrassing. :lol: It's a shame you went into hiding, Logan, because Ned and I were sooooooo looking forward to our match at AngleMania. Now that it's been turned into a handicap match... 

GENE
HANDICAP MATCH!?

SIMON (CONT'D)
...it takes some of the fun away. 

Simon exits. 

GENE
Hey, where are you going? What kind of game are you playing, Singleton? What kind of game is he playing, Ned? I haven't heard any official announcement. 

NED
No game at all. A deal is a deal. Holly got what she wanted and I got what I wanted. I got the better end of the deal, no question about it. I do kinda feel sorry for Synth, though. I mean, the poor guy got thrown under the bus. In exchange for continuing to allow Logan to breathe without the use of a ventilator, Synth's so-called "friends" threw him to the wolves. They threw him to the two men who will go down in history as the greatest tag team of all time. Logan, a couple of weeks ago you said we had done everything but break your spirit. 

Simon returns carry a GUITAR CASE. He opens it up and pulls out an acoustic guitar with the name "SPIRIT" airbrushed on it. 

NED
(smirking)
You're right. We didn't break your spirit. We literally took it!  

SIMON & NED
:lol:

GENE
I got a hunch you gentlemen are in for a wild ride at AngleMania V. Let's go back to Sofa Central.