HD: HR interview

[Tony149 0]

I wrote this without the training wheels on, meaning Patty is off partying or doing whatever he's doing.

 

COLE
Shifting gears now, ladies and gentlemen. Two weeks ago, in front of a national television audience, Ned Blanchard and Simon Singleton stooped to a whole new level when they recorded themselves bullying Holly-Wood in her own home. Since the piece aired, which Ned Blanchard arrogantly entitled "Holly-Wood Inn," we haven't seen or heard from the Heavenly Rockers. Over the past two weeks OAOAST officials have unsuccessfully been trying to get comment from the group. Given what has happened it's understandable why the Heavenly Rockers and Holly-Wood have remained quiet. Just last night I managed to get in touch with Logan Mann and his girlfriend Holly-Wood, both of whom agreed to do a sit-down interview. It's the first time either one has really opened up about themselves. A must-see interview if you're a Heavenly Rockers fan or not. Please excuse the video quality, it's a bit dark and grainy since this interview happened on such short notice. Here now is the interview I conducted last night. 

We go from 18,000 people inside the arena to just 3 -- Cole, Logan and Holly -- inside the lavish "Saints and Sinners" TOUR BUS. The trio are sitting in the dining room area, a 19" plasma TV in the background. The impact of Simon's and Ned's tape still weighing on Lolly, as Holly is very reserved, staring down at the counter while Logan cannot remain still, constantly squirming and rubbing his chin. Not to mention, NO SYNTH. 

COLE
Uh, first of all, I want to thank you both for taking time out on what I'm sure has been a very traumatic last couple of weeks. 

LOGAN
(agitated)
You think?!

COLE (CONT'D)
There are lots of questions and rumors that need to be addressed. I know this interview won't be easy for either one of you, especially when it comes to questions concerning the video shot by the New New Midnight Express, so I'll start by asking about the comment made by Ned Blanchard at the end of his and Simon's interview last Thursday night. Ned Blanchard made reference to a comment you made a while ago, Logan, when you said he and Simon had broken everything but the Heavenly Rockers spirit, then he brought out a guitar and said now they had literally taken it. 

LOGAN
Spirit is probably the most sentimental item I have. Not only is it the first guitar I ever bought, but it's the object that brought Holly and I together. We couldn't stand each other when we first met. She was hot, but she was also a major...with lots of hugs and kisses, baby...bitch. She was always in this withdrawn and depressive state whereas Synth and I were free spirits, living life to its fullest. While Synth was off writing poetry, I would play a tune for Holly. Spirit always lifted me up, so I thought it could do the same for her. She didn't really care for my antics at first, saying I made her want to jump off a bridge, but over time it brought the two of us closer together. 

HOLLY
It was one of the few real displays of kindess and sweetness a person has ever shown me. To know Spirit is in the hands of Ned...ugh...it just makes me wanna barf. 

COLE
That brings me to AngleMania V. Logan, you're supposed to be apart of the tag team who will face the New New Midnight Express for the World tag team championship, but I don't see Synth around. This wouldn't have anything to do with Ned Blanchard's comments last week, about you and Holly "throwing him under the bus"? 

HOLLY
Ned's a lying asshole! 

LOGAN
Instead of getting pysched about AngleMania V, we gotta deal with the BS from Simon and Ned. We gotta deal with Synth not being here. It's like our world is cavin' in on us. Synth has always been sensitive. Maybe Ned's comments had an effect on him, maybe not. I wouldn't know because I haven't heard from the brother in days. He isn't at his crib. He isn't returning calls, e-mails, text messages, instant messages, Western Union telegrams -- he isn't reciprocating. Don't let Blanchard get in your head, bro. He tried to pull that shit on me with that goddamn video, but it didn't work. We go way back, Synth. Nobody threw you under the bus, bro. We've been through too much together for it to end like this, before the biggest match in our careers. Remember when we dropped out of school to pursure our dreams of becoming rockstars? Everybody thought we were crazy, including our parents. Hell, they kicked you out of the house. You had to sleep in the run-down basement of my family's home just to have a roof over your head. We busted our ass for years trying to hit it big, accepting every gig we could get so we could have enough money to buy us another week on the road. Like the time we played at a Klan rally. I probably wouldn't be standing here today if you didn't come up with the bright idea to have me wore a hood so they wouldn't know the lead singer was a black man. Heh. I can remember us signing our first record deal with Arista Records. I swear our heads balloned right after we signed on the dotted line. And it wasn't a reaction from all the drugs we took the night before either, but rather from our own sucess starting to get to our heads. It led to us having a bit of a falling out, one that forced Arista to stick us with our very first publicst, "Tuff Tony." God did we put the poor bastard through hell, Cole. Heh. The night before his birthday, Synth and I got him so hammered we shaved his ass hair and glued it to the top of his head. We figured he'd appreciate the gesture. I mean, the guy was balding by the second. Boy, were we wrong. The sucka ended up quitting on his b-day. Arista then placed us with a new publicst, Patrick O'Green. Irishman all the way, mate. Translation: a drunk. This guy is gonna love it with us, we thought. Wrong! P.O.G. ruled with an iron fist. But he got us on the right track. He was the one who suggested we try to crossover to another genre to help push our records. Having loved wrestling as kids, Synth and I told him we wanted to become professional wrestlers. The P-O-G hated the idea. The guy hated the sport. So now we hated him. Said we should go into cooking. Apparently he had a deal set with the Food Network to create a show combining music and food. But we wanted to wrestle. Then we got our big break. The OAOAST held an event in Las Vegas. Many of the guys came over to our concert the night before the show. That's where we met then-World tag team champions Black T. We had a good talk with them, leading to them offering us 10 grand and a shot at the tag titles if we could eliminated their rivals, the Global Party XChange. We jumped at the chance since they offered to train us as well. What a bunch of lying cocksuckers. They left us to be slaughtered. We won the first battle, but lost the war to the GPX. We floated around between our music and wrestling until Arista gave us our third publicst, Holly-Wood. As you can see, it's been a match made in heaven ever since. 

Logan winks at Holly, who rubs his hands lovingly. :wub:

COLE
It's also been a match made in hell, so to speak. Your relationship has made you the target of many, most notably Ned Blanchard. Which brings me to the video aired March 9th, "Holly-Wood Inn." 

HOLLY
Don't ever refer to it by that name again. It's trash. 

LOGAN
What about it?

COLE
Well, I'd like your thoughts. 

LOGAN
My thoughts? You want my thoughts on a home video that shows my girlfriend getting pushed around?! What do you expect me to say, that I liked watching my girl get violated? Are you expecting me to give the video two thumbs up? Because I'll give a finger up. A middle finger! 

COLE
I didn't mean it that way. People just want to know if what Ned said was true. 

HOLLY
I already told you, Ned is a lying asshole. 

COLE
So you [i]didn't[/i] sleep with Ned to shield Logan from his and Simon's wrath?

HOLLY
:huh:

Holly looks in Cole's eyes, as if she can't believe he actually had the nerve to ask the question. Before she can answer, Logan leans in and gets up in Cole's face. 

LOGAN
You seconds away from being thrown out the window, Michael Cole. Next question! 

COLE
I know it's difficult, Logan, but it's a legitimate question. 

LOGAN
At an illegitimate time. Next question!

COLE
(clears throat)
I respect your right to privacy, but it's the question... 

LOGAN
Next question!

COLE (CONT'D)
...on everybody's mind. Did Holly sleep with Ned? 

HOLLY
Yes, I slept with Ned, goddamnit! Are you happy now? I slept with him, okay. I did what I thought would help benefit the group. 

COLE
By sleeping with Ned?

HOLLY
It's my body. It's my life. Ned's not the only one who knows how to play mind games. 

COLE
Mind games? Wha-- And you're okay with this, Logan? 

LOGAN
(grabbing Cole by collar)
Whaddya think?!
(shoves Cole back up against seat; stares menachingly into camera)
Ned and Simon, you talk about our feud starting in the winter of 2004 and how it'll end it in the spring of 2006. It's gonna end, believe me. It will end! By myself or with Synth, the road to AngleMania has been a grueling one, but all the motivation I need is next to me. All I have to do is think about all the bad things you've done not just to the Heavenly Rockers but to Holly as well. You may have thought going to Holly's place and having your way would get in my head. It's in my head, all right, along with the images of your faces covered in blood! You've awoken the wild child in Logan Mann. 

COLE
Wait a minute. You don't mean [i]the[/i] "Wild Child," do you?

LOGAN
By the sound of it, you've seem to have heard what the "Wild Child" is all about, Michael Cole. 

COLE
I've heard the stories. The wild parties, the trashing of hotel rooms, the unpredictability. 

LOGAN
Ex-act-ly! I was unpredictable! And unpredictable I will be come AngleMania V. Blanchard, you went far and beyond the line of competition. You've made this personal. So seething with sin and raidating with hate, I challenge you to a Loser Leaves Town match! That's right. The loser of the tag title match at AngleMania must leave the OAOAST. You've taken a lot from me over the last year. Uh-huh. But at AngleMania I'm gonna take a lot from YOU. I'm gonna take your blood, rearrange your face and take your World tag team titles. You say you're gonna end the war, then put the stipulation in the contract. The losing team is gone forever. I'll fight you both if I have to. I don't care. It's gotta end one way or another. And it'll end April 2nd at AngleMania V. Victory is mine sayeth "Wild Child" Logan Mann by way of Stewie! VICTORY IS MINE!

Logan RIPS off the clip-on mic and storms out of the tour bus with Holly.