HD: LSGS vs. SCM

[Tony149 0]

* DING DING DING *

BUFFER
The following contest is a special challenge match. Already in the ring...from South Central Los Angeles, at a total combined weight of 535 pounds, here are Moe Wallace and Vincent Santana... the SOUTH CENTRAL MILITIA! 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

COLE
As you heard Michael Buffer say, this is a special challenge match requested by the South Central Militia that stems from their elimination in the 20-man battle royal prior to AngleMania V, the Show Before The Show. 

COACH
The Lone Star Gunslingers made it a point to target the S-C-M. 

COLE
What are you insinuating, Coach?!

COACH
I'm not insinuating anything. There were 18 other guys in that ring. Why did Jock and Baron go after Moe and Vinny?

CABOOSE
Hmm... maybe to win the battle royal? 

COACH
Oh, come on, 'Boosey. You more than anybody should see it from my point of view. 

"WAHAHAHAHA, WAH, WAH, WAH..."

The usually reserved Japanese crowd jump out of their seats and rush the aisle to get a closer look at the young Gunslingers from the Lone Star state as "the Good, the Bad and the Ugly theme" kicks up. Tough enough for the men and sexy enough for the women, Jock and Baron sprint to the ring with smiles on their faces and hands at chest level to satisify the demand of fans wanting to get a piece of the Gunslingers.

BUFFER
Their opponents...from the great state of Texas, weighing a total of 507 pounds... "The Texas Twister" Jock Mulligan and Baron Windels, the LONE STAR GUNSLINGERS!  

Up the ring steps and carefully through the ropes enter Jock and Baron, smartly keeping their eye on the unpredictable South Central Militia. 
Referee Charles Robinson stands in the middle of the ring to keep both teams in their respective corners until the bell rings. The Gunslingers remove their white jackets with the state of Texas embrioder on the back while the eyes of the SCM are locked on them. Robinson orders one man from each team out of the ring. Moe and Vincent go through an array of hand gestures before Moe exits, whereas Jock and Baron 
stick with the classic double high-five. After a BUTT slap Jock joins Moe out on the apron, leaving Baron and Vincent to start the match. 

* DING DING DING *

COLE
Here we go. Charles Robinson has sounded the bell and we're officially underway in this special challenge tag team match. Baron Windels and Vincent Santana starting out for their respective teams. You can believe both teams view this bout as a way to move up the tag rankings. The crowning of new champions have brought on calls from just about every team for a title shot. 

COACH
I still can't believe Sarcastic Simon and Narcissistic Ned are gone. Godspeed, boys. We miss you. Well, at least The Coach misses you. 

Backed against the ropes after placing Moe in a side headlock Baron is shot across the ring. Wallace makes the all too common heel mistake of lowering his head after sending the babyface off to the ropes, putting himself at the mercy of Baron who shows Moe none as he bounces off the ropes and drills Wallace with a stinging kick to shoulder that pops him straight up, giving Windels a free shot -- which he uses for a excellently executed standing dropkick. The 6 foot 7 inch Texan stays on the offensive, hitting the ropes after firing Moe off and leveling him with a flying lariat!

ONE...

TWO...

Moe kicks out and retreats to the saftey of his corner, where he makes the tag to Vincent Santana. One fresh man calls for another, Baron and Jock make an exchange. After a quick spin around the ring, the two lock horns, with Jock coming out on top with an arm-wringer. Mulligan uses a series of closed fists and bonic elbows to punish the right arm used by Santana to execute his flying forearm smash. Vincent maneuvers the 23-year-old rookie into the corner and stuns him with a back elbow to the side of the head. Santana shakes off the arm before working Jock over in the corner with a combination of jabs and uppercuts. Windels fires back with kicks to the midsection and a pair of bonic elbows. Vincent knocks the air out of Baron's comeback with a straight knee to the gut, doubling Mulligan over in pain. Santana looks to take advantage of the youngester by whipping him to the ropes, only Jock ducks under a clothesline that is thrown so hard it spins Vincent around just as Jock returns on the rebound with a CROSSBODY BLOCK...but Vincent crotches down in the nick of time, causing the Texas Twister to feel like he's just been in one as he lands hard on the canvas and rolls out of the ring from the impact. 

CABOOSE
Keep an eye out on Moe. Outside all alone with Jock and all those weapons. 

COACH
End the profiling! 

COLE
Caboose is right. Look at all those weapons at Moe's disposal -- chairs, ringpost, steel steps. 

With the referee focusing his attention on keeping Vincent in the ring, outside Moe slams Jock on the arena floor. Baron rushes to his partner's aid, chasing Wallace away, bringing Charles Robinson over to escort Baron back to his corner, and again leaving the SCM free to do as they wish with the young rookie. And what they do is send Jock viciously into the ring steps, shoulder-first. As the SCM look to inflict more damage, the referee turns around and orders Vincent and Jock back inside the ring. The SCM coolly toss Jock back into the ring, but not before sneaking in a pair of knees to the ribs of Mulligan. 

COACH
Ha! Beautiful. Quick tag by the S-C-M. They're putting the 5-second rule to good use as they Irish whip Jock. Oh, baby! Stereo diving shoulderblocks. 

COLE
What force! 

COACH
If Team Japan hit like that in the World Baseball Classic they would've won the damn thing. 

CABOOSE
They did win "the damn thing."

COLE
We have a cover!

ONE...

TWO...

KICKOUT! 

Moe scoopes up Jock and drives him face-first into the turnbuckle. The SCM with another tag. Vincent Santana back in. He baits Baron into the ring and sprints back to his corner and joins Moe in pumpeling Jock while the referee keeps Baron at bay. The SCM put an end to their double-team tatics as Charles Robinson turns around. Robinson orders Vincent to let Jock out of the corner as he starts the 5 count given before automatic disqualification. Vinny steps away at 4, bringing Charles out to the center of the ring with him as Moe wraps the TAG ROPE around the throat of Mulligan and proceeds to pull back, causing Jock to kick his arms and legs in the air as his oxygen supply is being cut off. Baron steps in again, desperately trying to get the referee's attention to no avail. Fortunately for Baron, luck is on his side as Charles catches Wallace right in the act. Vincent brushes past the scrawny official and makes his way back to the corner...only to be met by a kick in the midsection! Jock fights out of the corner with a combination of bonic elbows and big Texas right hands. 

COLE
Hee-yaw! Flip, flop and fly, cowboy. 

With Moe stumbling back mid-ring Jock attempts to leapfrog over him and tag Baron, but gets caught going up and is rammed into the corner! He falls on his hands and knees as the SCM make yet another tag. Moe chops him down like a big oak tree with a succession of double-axehandle smashes to the spine of the back. He picks Jock off the mat and heads to the nearest corner with Mulligan draped over his right shoulder...RUNNING POWERSLAM!

ONE...

TWO...

NO!

Baron cheers his partner on from the corner, slapping the top turnbuckle to rally the fans behind the Texas Twister. Vincent Santana sticks his right leg over the top rope so that Moe can ram Jock's face into the sole of the boot. Now the legal man, Santana rocks Jock in the corner with punches and overhand chops that echo throughout the Tokyo Dome. Whipped to the far corner Jock gets the boot up as Vincent charges in, sending Santana stagger towards mid-ring, his back facing Mulligan. Jock takes a deep breath before running out of the corner and spiking Vincent into the canvas with a BULLDOG! 

COACH
Jock's too exhausted to make the cover. 

COLE
Both men are down. If Jock could make the cover the match would be over. 

The fans clap and stomp their feet to encourage Jock, both he and Vincent beginning to stir. Jock is the first to his feet, abeit a bit jelly-legged. He swings and misses a giant haymaker, resulting in an atomic drop...that sends Jock stumbling into his corner and making the HOT TAG~!

"YEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!"

One thing you can't say about the SCM is they're chickenshit heels, because they go right after Baron as he enters the squared circle. And Baron quickly shows them why he's called a Gunslinger, coming strong at Moe and Vinny with those Texas sized steak right hands. Scoope and a slam. Another scoope and a slam. Moe rolls out to the arena floor while Vinny takes a seat on Baron's knee from an inverted atomic drop. Windels whips Santana, the legal man, to the ropes for a baaaaaack bodydrop. He scales the turnbuckles and connects with a TOP ROPE LARIAT! 

ONE...

TWO...

THREE...NO!!

Moe pulls Baron halfway out of the ring before being spun around and decked by a Jock Mulligan discus punch. Moe and Jock duke it out on the floor while Baron sets Vincent on the top turnbuckle. Moe kicks Jock LOW and hurls him into the guardrail. He rushes to the corner Baron and Vincent are at, and as Baron climbs up to the second turnbuckle, his head hanging over the top rope as he pulls himself up, Moe whips out the TELESCOPIC BATON and...

* BOINK *

...cracks it over the skull of Baron Windels!

COLE
Oh, my!

* DING DING DING DING *

Charles Robinson immediately calls for the bell. And though the match is officially over, the fight's only just begun as Santana produces his baton and the SCM unleash a vicious assault on one half of the Lone Star Gunslingers. The threat of physcial harm keeps the referee at bay, all he can do if frantically wave for help from the back. Meanwhile, Jock has pulled himself up on the apron and crawls through the middle and bottom ropes, only to be knee'd in the head upon entry and beaten over the ribs by the batons. Officials and security finally storm ringside, successfully putting an end to the carnage caused by the South Central Militia. 

COLE
Showered with boos as they return to the back, Moe and Vincent proudly hold their arms and batons in the air, pleased with their accomplishment here tonight on HeldDOWN~! We, uh, obviously didn't foresee this ocurring. But given their history perhaps we should have. I understand Josh Matthews will try to get some comments from the South Central Militia as they make their way backstage. 

COACH
(scoffs)
Good luck with that. 

COLE
Josh, are you there?

JOSH (Off-screen)
Yes, I am, Michael. 

We cut to resident metrosexual and OAOAST correspondent Josh Matthews at the Gorilla position. 

JOSH
I am awaiting the arrival of Moe Wallace and Vincent Santana any second now. I'm going to try to get a word with them after their brutal assault on the Lone Star Gunslingers. This special challenge match turned into a special night for Jock and Baron for all the WRONG re...!

Josh nearly falls flat on his face in front of a national television audience as he's bumped into by the SCM as they step through the curtain. 

VINCENT
Watch where you're goin', essa. Can't you see we're goin' through whatcha gringos call a "chemical imbalance," vato. We're CRAZY, motherfucker!  

MOE
(laughs)
What the hell do you want anyway, man? 

JOSH
(stammering)
I just... I just wanted to, uh, ask...

MOE
Us a couple of questions, right, queer eye? Well I'll give you the goddamn answers! The South Central Militia have been bullshitted throughout our tenure in this goddamn promotion. Promises have gone unkept, title shots non-existant -- everybody saw what happened to that mother who tried to jack us over -- and now my tag team partner faces the possibility of going back to that shithole known as Mexico. You see this man right here, queer eye -- that's Vincent Santana, man? If all them crazy polly-want-a-cracker yahoos in D.C. have their way, then ol' Vinny is on his last days in this country. They tryin' to send his Mexican ass back to where he came from just like they wanna do all my repressed brothers and sisters! If these are our final days, you bet'cha yo' ass we's gonna go down in a blaze of motherfuckin' glory, motherfucker! Glory, glory, hallel-motherfuckin'-uiah! We're gonna beat some sense into these bitches here in the OAOAST. And who better to start with than them cowboys from Texas? The man callin' the shots is from Texas, right? And ain't Texas known for its outlaw past and shit? Well goddamnit, we just gave them a taste of life in South Central L.A. And who is gonna stop us, I ask? You, queer eye? Walker, Texas Ranger? Hell, no! What about you, Mr. Cameraman? Don't you know Marty is a girl's name, motherfucker?! Ain't no sumbitches gonna stop us, that's what. We callin' the shots now. We gonna run through every tag team in this goddamn federation and then beat the shit outta the Heavenly Rockers for the tag belts. And there ain't a damn there anybody can do to stop us. 

Moe goes flying into the camera, smacking his face on the camera lense as he's hit from behind by Baron Windels! Before Vincent can do anything to help his partner, Jock Mulligan gets to him first. All 4 men bash each other with whatever objects they can find nearby -- TV monitors, trash cans, Josh Matthews mircophone, etc. The very officials who had to restrain the SCM in the ring now must do the same to the Lone Star Gunslingers backstage.  

COLE
Oh, my! What a situation we got going down in the back! We gotta get things under control. HeldDOWN~! will return right after this quick time out. Stay with us.