HD: Leon promo

[King Cucaracha 0]

COLE
Alright, let's send it backstage and to Maria~!

COACH
Oh, yes!


Smiling as sweetly as ever, Maria waves to the camera once she realises she's on air. Blowing a kiss to the fans in T.V land, the OAOAST's hottest and most infrequent backstage reporter (damn you all for not using her) turns to her guest, Leon Rodez, who proudly wears the 24/7 Championship over his shoulder once more. Only this time, it's not the spinner belt which presumably has gone back to it's legal owner Vitamin X, replaced instead with the 'classic' 24/7 strap.

MARIA
Leon, on Sunday night nothing happened because the show was late, but on Tuesday morning you won the OAOAST 24/7 Title for the second time. If you escape without losing tonight, you'll have held the belt longer than last time. How does that make you feel?

LEON
Pretty good, thank you for asking. I'm still a little sore in places and I haven't yet erased the vision of Jim Ross in swim shorts from my memory, but being the 24/7 Champion again nulls the pain sufficently for these pearly whites to be on display. And you know, it's been a bit of a rough week personally. Suffice to say that Run For The Gold 2 was a fitting send-off for myself and Alix Maria Spezia's relationship. After nearly five beautiful, fantastic, sweaty months, she's decided to move on and unfortunately I must do the same. I felt down about it for a few days. But luckily, I'm experienced in 'loving and leaving', if you will. Granted, the loving doesn't usually last five months, but I'm ready to move on and ready to embark on a slightly more successful 24/7 Title reign this time around. So, Alix, it was great while it lasted and I'll never forget those months we spent together and I'll see you when you get out on parole.

Maria looks shocked, but Leon laughs it off.

LEON
I kid, I kid. She's got a great lawyer. So, next question?

MARIA
Uhm... They told me to ask you about May 13th. What's that about?

LEON
May 13th. May 13th, it's happening again, May 13th Maria, May 13th, you know what happened, May 13th, May 13th you remember, May 13th, you know what you did, May 13th, it's happening again, ooooohh May 13th boogie woogie loogie...

Leon shakes himself back into the real world.

LEON
Maria, as you so insightfully mentioned May 13th is gonna be the date for the grand debut of OAOAST Syndicated, a very special Saturday night show that's on Syndicated T.V...I guess. I dunno, I figure they must have had some reason for the name. Anyway, May 13th is OAOAST Syndicated. And I've just had some great news from OAOAST Front Office, because they've very kindly begged ME to do something big on the show. Now, I've been busy with certain 'issues' these past few weeks so I've kinda neglected something very close to me, but Syndicated will indeed mark the return of the Angle Award winning Love Shack! Live and in the middle of that OAOAST ring, I get to interview my little sister's team D*LUX. They won the HI-YAH World Tag Titles apparantly. I'm so proud of her, making a success of her life, what with her inferior intelligence and everything, so she gets the first Love Shack back. A new set, a new location, a new clothes budget, maybe even a new fancy graphic, who knows? So, May 13th should be a whole lot of fun.

MARIA
Why, what's happening on May 13th?


.....


LEON
Has anyone ever told you you have beautiful eyes?

MARIA
*giggles*

LEON
There we go. Now, anything else you wanna ask me about, seeing as I'm here?

Placing a finger in her mouth and sticking out her tongue, Maria does into deep, [i]deep[/i] thought. Leon passes the time by tapping his fingers on his thigh, humming along to some imaginary music, until a lightbulb suddenly illuminates over Maria's head.

MARIA
I know! Which do you like better, butter or I Can't Believe It's Not Butter?

LEON
...

MARIA
My mom says that real butter is better but I don't know why, because I can't tell the difference.

LEON
...you know, you remind me of someone.

Maria doesn't seem to 'get it', but smiles anyway.

LEON
So, I'm gonna go now. If anyone walks past with a referee and asks where I am, tell them I'm in the bathroom. Infact, better make it the women's bathroom, just incase I need a stop-off. You're a sweetie.

Winking and making a 'winking sound' for added impact, away turns Leon and going back to his whimsical humming. Once she's sure Leon's back is turned though, a sudden change overcomes Maria. Like something out of Jeckyl and Hyde, Maria turns EVIL~!, calling over handily placed referee Charles Robinson before rushing up behind Leon and BOOTING HIM IN THE JUNK!

"YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
What the hell!?! Maria!?!

CABOOSE
Holy crap, [i]everyone[/i] wants that 24/7 Title!


Maria gleefuly jumps on top of Leon, Charles skidding over...


1...





2...





NO, Kickout!

Scrambling to his feet, one hand on his junk the other clutching his belt, Leon scuttles off down the corridor and into the distance as Maria sits up and pulls an adorable sulky pout at not winning the title.

COLE
Haha, oh my, can you believe that? Maria almost won the 24/7 Championship! Even announcers are getting in on the act now, Leon isn't safe anywhere!

CABOOSE
Hey, if Todd Pettingil can win the belt, why not one of us?

COACH
YEAH!

CABOOSE
Not you.

COACH
Awwww.