KingPK 0 Report post Posted May 20, 2006 As the HeldDOWN logo appears on TV screens across the country 24 hours later than expected, a voiceover is heard. V.O. GUY Due to massive sattelite transmission problems, the May 18th edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN did not air in it's regularly scheduled time slot. However, those problems have been cleared up and we are proud to present this week's episode of HeldDOWN that took place last night in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Also, for this week only, HD will also be available IN IT'S ENTIRETY to stream at OAOAST.com, the home of all things parody e-fed. We apologize for the inconvenience. Enjoy the show. ****************************************************** SCHIAVONE The One & Only Anglesault Thread hitting the world of syndication with the debut of the appropriately titled "Syndicated." A montage of the sights and sounds of the OAOAST's first foray into syndication is aired. First we see the image of the lovely Mackenzie DeCenzo. MACKENZIE Normally I wouldn't bother wasting my time appeasing losers like yourselves, but since you guys seem to think you can do better without me -- whatever -- I decided to take you up on your challenge. And do I have a treat for you. MACKENZIE Ahem. Soon to be coming to an arena and media outlets near you, the two biggest superstars of our time... SIMON SINGLETON and NED BLANCHARD... THE BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS!!! The former New New Midnight Express receive a sizable return pop as they appear for the first time in months on OAOAST programming. SCHIAVONE My God, Jesse, they're back! Next, highlights of the Ultra Shago/Dark Predator match, a match that wowed the fans in the arena as well as the TV audience. This is followed by Gunner Sharps giving Leon Rodez the Tortured Soul Slam later in the show. COLE That's the Tortured Soul Slam and...why isn't Gunner going for the cover? Gunner's gaze is fixed on the crowd now, standing over his prey and paying it no attention, as he like everyone else turns to a commotion in the stands where someone is pushing their way towards the ring. Security lets this person past for some reason, right up to the guardrail which she promptly hops...to a HUGE, yet mixed reaction. COACH MAH BABY GUUUUUUURRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLL~!~!!~!!! Freeze on a shot of Crystal holding the 24/7 belt in the air. Finally........we see Bill Watts and Axel in the ring together. AXEL Bill, did you ever consider that maybe, just maybe, the new President of the OAOAST… The crowd stirs, not knowing what to expect… AXEL …is behind you? Axel drops the mic… …AXEL LIFTS BILL WATTS IN A REVERSE DEATH VALLEY! …AXEL SLAM ON BILL WATTS! SCHIAVONE WHAT? WHAT????? AXEL ......nobody can stop us. Hell, the three of us are basically… Untouchable. Goodnight, Ladies and Gentlemen. We head into the arena in Tulsa where another sold out crowd is ready for action. COLE Coming off the much herladed debut of OAOAST Syndicated, we are live and in living color on this Thursday night for another edition of the flagship show, OAOAST HeldDOWN~! I'm Michael Cole, just one third of Triple C along with Caboose and DA COACH~!, and tonight we...we...ok, what's this now? The voices of the fans pick up, rising into a loud ovation, as Zack Malibu comes out unannounced, and heads for the ring. Malibu, dressed to kill instead of dressed to wrestle, comes to the ringside area and approaches announcer Michael Buffer, asking him for his microphone. Buffer obliges, and Zack simply rolls in under the bottom rope, coming up to his feet in the center of the ring. COLE Zack's not on the format, I thought we... CABOOSE Has this show EVER followed format? COACH Maybe the dude's out here to apologize. I think he owes all of us one of those! CABOOSE I don't know if we'll get an apology Coach, but I'm one of the people looking for an explanation. "ZACK!" "ZACK!" "ZACK!" Malibu, who normally responds back to his legions of fans, remains at a standstill, simply looking out to the crowd with a more frustrated look than usual, and waits for the chant to die down. MALIBU In the last seven days, I've heard a lot of different things. I've seen the way some people react to my presence, and I've heard that people want answers. Well right now, everyone that's in the locker room, everyone that's in this arena as a paying customer, everyone watching at home, you are going to get what you want, and it's going to be one hundred and ten percent brutal honesty, so I hope you're all ready to handle it. COACH Psssh, honesty? Like someone like... CABOOSE Shut UP, Coachman. MALIBU About a year ago, right here on a Thursday night, I was the victim of an assault by Scotty Static and Johnny Jackson, the Global Party Exchange. At the time, who thought anything more of it than the GPX got antsy, and wanted to take a shortcut to make a name for themselves? Happens all the time in the wrestling business, it's nothing new to me. But what it was was the start of what many dubbed the OAOAST's "Civil War". It was, in the mind of many, the beginning of the end. A new era, or at least that's what they were trying to achieve, and to their credit, they got a lot of names in on it with them, and they did it fast. They knew what they were doing, so it was only natural that myself and many of the longtime roster members...the "Originals" if you will, banded together to fight back, and not give them what they wanted. To this day, it's been a constant battle in the ring, in the locker room, in interviews...and now I'm at the center of it all. As usual, Zack Malibu is at the forefront of all the controversy. COLE He's right about that. MALIBU For ONE YEAR, I have had to endure constant attacks, both verbally and physically, from Scotty Static, Johnny Jax, and Jamie O'Hara. I have been criticized for rallying the troops because it took people away from their "real goals" here in the company. Now personally, I don't feel that that is a wrongdoing, because since DAY ONE it has not been about me, or about Black, or Brannigan, or Blonde or Faqu or Caboose or WHOEVER. Throw any name in there you want, but the fact is that I was, am, and always will be, looking out for THE COMPANY. THIS COMPANY...OUR HOUSE! We all have our individual goals and that's fine, but to be nitpicked for banding together to perserve the legacy of something we ALL helped create and make into a superpower...well I'd be lying if I didn't say that was selfish of all of those who felt that way. The crowd remains still, not reacting, because they know Zack is far from done. MALIBU So then...it starts again. After Anglemania this past year, Static, Jax and O'Hara come to me and swallow their pride, professing their respect for me, and actually getting me to do it in return. Why shouldn't I respect their abilities...those are three of the most talented kids in the game today. What I don't respect is their attitude, their action, and the way they go about everything. I've had them beat me with belts and chairs and bottles and put my head through a GOD DAMN car window a few weeks ago, but yet deep down, I know they're better than that. But if that's they way it's going to be, then so be it, and that's why last month, I did what they wanted me to do. I brought out the Zack Malibu of old...the one who thinks outside the box. The one who isn't as predictable as he'd become. I brought that side of me out again, and let me tell you, it felt good. It felt good to see their jaws drop when the masks were pulled off of The Wildcards at Living Angleously. It felt GOOD to see Jamie O'Hara's head bounce off this mat with a Riot Act Plus from Todd Cortez. FINALLY, it seemed like everything was going to be settled...but... Malibu breaks off, as if he's got to think of how to word this next part. MALIBU ...but then things went TOO far. I'm a firm believer in retribution, but what happened to Scotty Static at Living Angelously, it went over the line. I admit that. I'm the one who brought Bloodshed, Cortez and Blank here. I knew their history, I knew what they were all about...and that's WHY I brought them here. To give the GPX and O'Hara something that they couldn't handle. To deal the fatal blow to this god damn Upstarts, revolution...whatever you want to call it...and honestly...what happened at Living Angleously...it shouldn't have gone that far. Scotty Static was already taken out, and after that, it was a case of excessive, unnecessary violence, and I hold myself responsible for it. You think something like that would be the end, but no...oh no...it was just the beginning...because THEN not only did it fuel the fire even MORE between the Hooligans and myself, but apparently that fire spread like wildfire through the locker room. Zack Malibu, all of the sudden, wasn't a company guy...he went to the SWF for backup. Zack Malibu crossed the line by bringing these guys in...Zack Malibu....WHAT DID YOU WANT ZACK MALIBU TO DO!? We worked for a year...A GOD DAMN YEAR to put these guys in their place, and nothing worked...not Black T, not me and Leon, not ANYBODY...NOTHING TOOK. We NEEDED TO DO SOMETHING UNEXPECTED, SOMETHING NEW, but noooooo...because I did it, because I'm the "poster boy", I go and do something outside of the company line, and it's locker room treason! Have you SEEN the looks I get from my peers, from guys like Leon Rodez, my former tag team partner...from guys like James Blonde and Faqu, who I watched reinvent themselves both here and in HI-YAH...from YOU Caboose, sitting down at the broadcast table. All of you, last week, in my face telling me "enough was enough" with Jamie O'Hara...you were all their to get ME to stop, but WHERE WERE YOU when it was my head being sent through the window of a car!? Where were YOU, Caboose, when the blood was dripping from the back of MY head. Sitting down at Sofa Central, signing off for the night? None of you, friend or foe...NONE OF YOU know what it's like to be in my spot. It's a constant target on my back, 24/7, from other wrestlers, from corporate executives...everyone wants a piece of the pie, and everyone wants what is theirs, but when someone crosses that imaginary line, that's when you unite? WHERE HAS THAT UNITY BEEN!? What happened to standing up to these guys and bringing things back to the way they were? What happened to the unity we had not more than a year ago? Why is it that I get questioned about what I do, bringing new faces into the fold to HELP US, only to be shunned for it? Why is it that Leon Rodez never bothered to want to get a rematch for the tag belts once we lost them, instead choosing to go off on his own again? If we're so united, then tell me, and I swore...I swore I'd never even acknowledge this again knowing my stance on the subject...but if we're all so united, then WHY ARE THOSE TWO DESERTERS, the REAL traitors to the company, BACK HERE WITHOUT QUESTION!? Oh, Tony and Dan went after them...SO GOD DAMN WHAT! This company...I love it...but it can be so god damn hypocritical sometimes. I didn't ask to be put in the position I'm in, but I earned it. I deserve to be where I am, but I do not deserve the glares, and the second guessing. I don't deserve the mistrust, and I don't deserve... "One for the treble, two for the bass..." Malibu gets cut off in mid-stream, as "Oh No", aka Todd Cortez's theme song, starts playing, and leads the newly crowned OAOAST World Six Man Tag Team Champions, The Wildcards, down the aisleway. COLE Malibu...he's...he's making some valid points, Caboose. CABOOSE He is, I won't deny that. And he's taken responsibility for his actions as I knew he would. It's just that...something doesn't feel right about this entire situation, Michael. Something doesn't feel right about what the GPX and O'Hara have brought out of him, because it's certainly not the "old" Zack Malibu. Cortez, Blank, and Bloodshed all enter the ring, with Malibu questioning why they're there. Cortez plays mediator, and calmly asks Zack for the mic, which is handed over. CORTEZ Zack Malibu, let it be known that the three of us, respect you, and we appreciate your accomplishments. BUT...let's get one thing straight here, Zack. When you came to me in Japan, and asked if I wanted to come into the OAOAST to help you out, you asked me point blank, to help you find men that were on equal ground with me. Men who loved the sight and smell of blood, whether it was someone else's or their own. Men who would gladly throw down at the drop of a hat for any reason, or for no reason at all. I brought you Bruce Blank and Bloodshed, and you pulled off the coup of the a lifetime but making sure these men were able to remain active in the top two wrestling federations in the world today! Blank snickers as he chomps on his toothpick, while Bloodshed rests against the turnbuckles, watching the drama unfold. CORTEZ I see you out here Zack, taking responsibility, and...to me, it comes off as an apology. Now, we're not about to apologize for what we do...because we love what we do, and we do it well. YOU don't need to apologize, because what you did last week...it's human nature. I think the apology that needs to be owed is to you...to US, because of the way we are perceived by the rest of the OAOAST! The crowd is mixed in its response, and even Malibu seems to want to hear more. Rather than continue, Cortez hands the mic over to Blank. BLANK Ya see, ya'll don't seem to respect us. Don't seem to want us around. Maybe because we're not "homegrown". Maybe because to some of you, we're still sleepin' with the enemy. But what I think it is is that it's not dislike. It's intimidation. Ain't that right, 'boosey? Blank heads over by the ropes, and question Caboose, who is startled by it. BLANK Ya, you heard me. Maybe because you've never seen anything like this before. Three of the toughest sons of bitches, the most brutal competitors anywhere in this sport, brought in by the least likely person to do. Maybe that's why ya'll are mad at Zachary here too...because you don't feel he's one of you anymore. Maybe you feel he's one of...us. Blank nods to Zack, who seems perplexed by his statement. BLANK Zack, I've seen that look in my eyes when I look in the mirror, that look that I saw in your eyes last week when you were slicin' that boys head open. You've been hiding it all inside, and it's been building up. Those days gone by, like when you were jabbing the belt buckle in Crystal's head, raking her face across the steel cage...oh yeah, see I know as much about you as you do about us. You've been in that zone before Zack, and you've been squashin' it lately, tryin' to hide it because...hell I dunno, might hurt your image? Might not make you look like Mr. Nice Guy anymore? Zack...you'll feel so much better when you let it ou... Malibu, who doesn't look happy, snatches the mic. MALIBU Let me make one thing clear, Blank. I'm NOT like the three of you. I brought you here, that's on my head, and that's fine. I respect the three of you, but what I did last week was simply the heat of the moment, and... Blank, not happy with the mic snatch, takes it right back. BLANK I wasn't done, boy. Tension builds, as the larger Blank looks down on Zack, who still doesn't budge. BLANK Yer makin' excuse for yourself, Zack. "Heat of the moment"...c'mon now boy, you knew EXACTLY what you were gonna do once you got yer hands on Jamie O'Hara. And that's fine, because there ain't nothin' finer than knowin' we get PAID to do that stuff! We're one step below hitmen, Zack, and it's all legal for us! We're makin' money hand over fist for what we do, so there's no need to feel sorry 'bout it. Bloodshed said it best, it's kill or be killed out here...you'd rather be a killer, wouldn't you? Malibu, who doesn't appear to know what to say, remains silent. BLANK Don't answer that, Zack. I know what you'll say. After all, I saw it in your eyes last week. Now as for yer unity...don't worry. I don't think you need to worry about that, because we're in the same boat as you. Disrespect in the backstage area. People in the company thinkin' we're some travelin' circus of violence...kinda hurts, but then again, it doesn't. All these people worryin' for nothin', squirmin' in their chairs when we walk by...kinda nice knowing how intimidating we are, actually. Eventually, they'll all come 'round. After we establish ourselves a bit more, after all we are representatives of this company! Blank proudly holds his Six Man belt up, and hands the mic back to Zack. MALIBU Well I'm glad you feel that way, because here's how it's going to be. Maybe you're right...maybe I don't need to make an apology, maybe you don't either. But I'm a man of responsibility, and right know the weight of your world is coming down onto MY shoulders...so here's how it's going to go. See those belts you guys have. At School's Out, I've gotten you a match. Blank, Cortez, and Bloodshed look at each other, wondering when Malibu became their talent manager. MALIBU Go ahead and give me the looks all you want, but I'm done with playing favorites. You've got a match, and the belts are on the line, against The Hooligans...Static, Jax, and O'Hara! The crowd roars at the announcement, and The Wildcards shrug it off. MALIBU That's not the only match I made for School's Out. While they couldn't be here tonight due to a booking in Mexico through the HI-YAH office, James Blonde and Faqu have already received word of this. After talking with corporate officials from HI-YAH, and given the events of the past few months, with Faqu cheated out of his HI-YAH Title shots and Blonde sidelined since Anglemania with the arm injury, it was determined that at School's Out, the HI-YAH Championship will be on the line when I take them BOTH on in a Three Way Dance! The crowd roars again, as Zack is going to defend against two of his friends in the same match. MALIBU Now, Blonde and Faqu...whatever I have to work out with them, I'LL do it. You guys take care of your match, and let me take care of mine. This isn't about you, this isn't about "us", this is about me now. Blank looks over to Bloodshed, who has pushed up and comes walking out of the corner. Cortez puts an arm out, keeping Bloodshed back, although by the look on his face he doesn't appear to be taking kindly to Malibu's orders. BLANK Don't you worry, Zacky. You do what you have to do...because we already know what we have to do. With those ominous words uttered Blank waves his contingent away and out of the ring. Malibu stands his ground, but the tension continues to boil between Zack and The Wildcards, not to mention the rest of the OAOAST roster. COLE Strong words from Zack Malibu tonight, as well as some from the Wildcards! CABOOSE Malibu...I hope you know what you're doing this time, because I don't like where any of this is going at all. Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted May 20, 2006 *KA-CHING~!* *Come and take your Vitamin X.* As “Rhymin’ & Stealin’” by the Beastie Boys starts playing, the crowd stands up and starts booing loudly. Once the vocals kick in, the now recognizable Lightning Crew Mobile drives into the arena stopping once it comes next to the entrance ramp. As usual, Cuban Wall is driving; Vitamin X is in the front passenger’s seat, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is sitting on the hood of the car, doing a seductive dance, seductively to the hip-hop beat. What’s unusual is the fact that both members of Brains & Brawn are still in possession of The Heavenly Rocker’s OAOAST World Tag Team Championship belts! VITAMIN X You ready Homefry? CUBAN WALL Let’s do this. Cuban Wall and Vitamin X high five each other, and then step out of the red low-rider, the belts still in their hands. Wall and VX raise the Rockers’ belts to more boos. Wall is holding Logan “Usher” Mann’s belt, while Vitamin X is carrying Synth Esizer’s Tag Team Title belt. Lindsay, wearing a black Lightning Crew logo tanktop, pink bracelets, a plaid skirt, and black boots, slides off the hood of the car, and links arms with her men. The three Lightning Crew members climb up the steps onto the entrance ramp. The crowd boos some more as the three of them walk to the ring. *DING DING DING* MICHAEL BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a fifteen minute T.V. time limit. Introducing first. Coming to the ring at this time. Accompanied by the 1st Lady of The Lightning Crew, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. Weighing in at a total combined weight of 533 lbs. The team of Cuban Wall and Vitamin X, BRAINS ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND BRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Vitamin X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle. He has a cocky smirk on his face. Cuban Wall chats it up with Lindsay. Both men hold the World Tag Team Title belts over their right shoulders. COLE For the first time since AngleMania V, Cuban Wall and Vitamin X will be in action! The camera cuts to the ring where Brains & Brawn’s opponents for the evening are. BUFFER And their opponents. The team of BARRY DARSOW AND ART SIMPSOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!! Barry Darsow and Art Simpson raise their hands, and get little response. They look at Brains & Brawn, who are on the ring apron as “Rhymin’ & Stealin’” continues playing. VX hops onto a second turnbuckle and crosses his arms in an X. Cuban Wall enters the ring over the top rope and stands in the middle of it with a serious look on his face. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez claps. Vitamin X hops off the second turnbuckle. A spotlight shines on Brains & Brawn and Lindsay Gonzalez. Together, the three of them do The Lightning Crew Salute as a lightning bolt hits the entrance. The crowd boos. COLE Last week on HeldDOWN~!, we saw Brains & Brawn attack the World Tag Team Champions, The Heavenly Rockers, in the parking lot! It was a shocking attack, due to the fact that Brains & Brawn haven’t been in the World Tag Team Title picture yet. And then last Saturday on OAOAST Syndicated, Brains & Brawn attacked The Rockers again, and this time, STOLE the OAOAST World Tag Team Titles! CABOOSE Well they’re in the hunt now, Mikey Cole. Brains & Brawn wanted to let the Rockers know that they want the tag belts, and brother, I’m sure the Heavenly Rockers got the message. COACH Brains & Brawn haven’t been a team in weeks! The last time they wrestled together was in February! What gives them the right to challenge The Heavenly Rockers? CABOOSE The Heavenly Rockers are fighting champions right? They’ll take on anybody, anytime, anywhere right? Well, Brains & Brawn took advantage at that. You best believe they are coming for the Heavenly Rockers, and they’re coming HARD! COLE Wait a minute, since when do you disagree with what a Lightning Crew member does? COACH Since Tha Puerto Rican beat my ass last month in that Chair On A Pole match! COLE Oh. The lights go back in the arena. Vitamin X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle and chats with Lindsay. Cuban Wall jaws with some fans and then gets on a second turnbuckle and raises his hands in the air. The crowd boos. Cuban Wall does the “Up Yours!” hand gesture. He gets off the second turnbuckle and shadowboxes a little bit and then chats with Lindsay and X. Vitamin X and Cuban Wall raise the OAOAST World Tag Team Championship belts once again. The crowd boos. Art Simpson and Barry Darsow stand in one corner looking at their opponents. CABOOSE Guys, I think we’re looking at the next World Tag Team Champions. COLE Well, I don’t know about that. But Brains & Brawn are certainly a tough team to overcome. CABOOSE Of course they are. They’re the perfect combination of Brains and Brawn, hence their name. Duh! And hey, they already have the actual belts in their possession. They’re halfway there! “Rhymin’ & Stealin’” by The Beastie Boys dies down. Lindsay offers some last words of encouragement for Brains & Brawn, and then kisses them both on the cheek. Lindsay leaves the ring to catcalls from the men in the audience. Wall and VX hand the Tag belts to a ringside attendant. Referee Charles Robinson checks on both teams, and then calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* BRAINS & BRAWN vs. BARRY DARSOW AND ART SIMPSON Cuban Wall and Vitamin X discuss who will go first. Art Simpson and Barry Darsow are standing. COLE Cuban Wall and Vitamin X are discussing who’ll start this match. Cuban Wall and Vitamin X stare at each other…and then charge towards their opponents, attacking them both at the same time! COLE Hey! That’s not right! Cuban Wall beats on Barry Darsow, while Vitamin X attacks Art Simpson. Charles Robinson tells Brains & Brawn to break it up, but neither men pays attention to Lil’ Naitch. Cuban Wall whips Darsow into the ropes, and fires with a big boot, knocking him down! A few seconds later, VX Irish whips Simpson into the ropes, and he fires back with a flying back elbow! COLE Brains & Brawn are just absolutely decimating their opponents early on in this match! CABOOSE Yeah! That’s how you do stuff, The Lightning Crew way! Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez cheers her men on. Art Simpson has rolled out of the ring, so that makes Barry Darsow the legal man. Vitamin X goes back to his corner as the match now has a sense of normalcy to it. Cuban Wall picks up Darsow and beats on him, while the crowd showers the Muscle of The Lightning Crew with boos. Wall nails Darsow with some stiff left jabs and then takes him over to a neutral corner. CW connects with soupbones all over Barry Darsow’s body. He then follows with Kevin Nash-like elbows to the face (that will be the last time I ever compare somebody to Kevin Nash). CABOOSE Oh yeah! Do you see that? BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! As Vitamin X would say, “BOO-YAH~!” VITAMIN X BOO-YAH~! CABOOSE See? Cuban Wall scoops up Barry Darsow and puts him in a fallaway slam position. He walks around with Barry, and then runs with him into a neutral corner, slamming his back against the turnbuckle. Wall is not done yet, as he runs to the opposite corner and slams Darsow’s back against that turnbuckle too. Still not finished yet, Cuban Wall runs with Barry to his corner, slamming his back against the turnbuckle a third time, and finally, since there’s four turnbuckles and all, Cuban Wall charges, and slams Barry’s back against the fourth turnbuckle, and finishes with a powerslam! Wall covers Barry. 1… 2… Art Simpson comes in and kicks Cuban Wall in the head, breaking the count! CABOOSE Ooh, he shouldn’t have done that! Cuban Wall eyes Art, which causes him to run back into his corner. Vitamin X puts his hand out for a tag, so Wall decides to tag in his smaller, but quicker partner into the match for the first time tonight. This causes the crowd to boo louder than before. COLE Vitamin X is probably the least popular member of The Lightning Crew, and yes, I’m including Tha Puerto Rican in that statement. Vitamin X Shane-O-Mac Shuffles into the ring, causing the crowd to boo some more. He waits for Darsow to get up. VITAMIN X Prepare to meet your doom! But instead Darsow crawls to his corner and tags in Art Simpson. Cuban Wall groans. VX Awww. CUBAN WALL Nice going, idiot. Art Simpson comes charging at VX, full of piss and vinegar, but VX side steps him, and Simpson hits the ropes. When he returns, Vitamin X greets the young superstar with a beautiful dropkick, something that is rarely seen from him. The X-Man continues his attack, picking up Art, and giving him a snap suplex. He follows that up with some fast kicks all over Art’s body. “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *Clap Clap Clapclapclap* “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *Clap Clap Clapclapclap* “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *Clap Clap Clapclapclap* “X’S A PUSS-SEE!” *Clap Clap Clapclapclap* CABOOSE He is not! Vitamin sneers at the crowd. He then picks up Art, and whips him into the ropes—Art reverses—X bounces off the ropes, Art puts his head down, but VX fires with a floating DDT! MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ Yeah! Woo! CABOOSE Anytime Lindsay’s happy, I’m happy. COLE I’m sure Tha Puerto Rican will love to hear you say that. CABOOSE Well, he’s not here. COLE But I’m sure he’s watching this at home. CABOOSE …Good point. The X-Man gets up and picks up Art Simpson once again. VX starts doing the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, causing the crowd to boo. CABOOSE Oh yeah, he’s feeling it. He’s feeling it. Punch. Punch. Punch. Shane-O-Mac Shuffle. Punch! Art goes down! Vitamin X gets an idea, and starts dragging Art to a neutral corner. COLE Well, this is a little odd. X drags Art to a neutral corner and then rests his head on the bottom turnbuckle pad. After choking him with his right foot, Vitamin X heads to the opposite turnbuckle, which causes the crowd to boo some more. Vitamin X starts jumping up and down. COLE Oh no. COACH You mean he’s going to? CABOOSE Oh yes. Oh yes! Here it comes! Vitamin X does the “low-rider” hand gesture, just like Colombian Heat used to do. He then charges forward…and gives Art Simpson a Broncobuster! COLE Broncobuster! Broncobuster on Art Simpson…by Vitamin X? COACH He’s biting off of Colombian Heat! CABOOSE Colombian Heat ain’t here no more. Besides, Vitamin X invented that move. COLE Oh come on now! X gets off of Simpson, and then does an Eddie Guerrero like SHIMMY~! mocking the man who defeated him at AngleMania V, Colombian Heat. Cuban Wall calls for the tag, so The X-Man obliges, tagging in the Brawn of Brains & Brawn. Wall climbs over the top rope, and lifts his right hand up, spelling certain doom and gloom for Art Simpson. COLE Uh-oh. Here comes trouble! Art Simpson slowly gets up, with his partner warning him of what’s ahead. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez smiles evilly, knowing what’s coming up next. CABOOSE Goodbye Art! Art gets to his feet, slowly. When he turns around, Cuban Wall clutches his throat with his right hand. He then clutches him with both hands and lifts him up onto his right shoulder. Cuban Wall then falls to his knees, giving Art Simpson a backbreaker! The Wallbreaker! COLE Wallbreaker! Wallbreaker on Art Simpson! CABOOSE Yes! Way to go, Wall! Barry Darsow enters the ring, but he is grabbed by the throat by Cuban Wall. Wall lifts Darsow up high, and then slams him down to earth with a chokeslam! COACH And so much for that. Cuban Wall laughs at what he just did. Suddenly, Vitamin X gets on the ring ropes, and puts his right hand out. Wall is a little puzzled as to why X is doing this. VX Give me the tag! CUBAN WALL What? VX JUST GIVE ME THE TAG! Cuban Wall walks over to The Lightning Crew corner, and, hesitantly, tags in Vitamin X. The crowd starts booing again. Art Simpson is down and out on the mat, so VX hops onto the top rope. COLE And now this. CABOOSE You know what’s coming up next, Cole! Vitamin X stands on the top rope, surveying the ring. He has a smirk on his face as he prepares for lift off. CABOOSE The X-Man is going to fly! With Barry Darsow out on the outside, and Art Simpson lying in the ring, Vitamin X decides there’s no better time than now to leap off the top rope…CONNECTING WITH THE LEAP OF FAITH! COLE The Leap Of Faith! Leap Of Faith on Art Simpson! Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez bounces up and down in excitement! Vitamin X poses to LOUD boos. He tags back in Cuban Wall. Art Simpson is out cold in the middle of the ring. COLE This is just manslaughter right now! Cuban Wall looks down at Simpson, laughs, and then runs to the ropes, he bounces off the ropes, jumps up, and then crashes down onto the weakened Art Simpson with The Lightning Crew Splash! COLE The Lightning Crew Splash! 285 pounds of Cuban Wall have just crashed down onto Art Simpson! CABOOSE Aw yeah! Cuban Wall covers Art Simpson. Vitamin X enters the ring to make sure Barry Darsow won’t interfere (despite the fact that Darsow is on the outside). Charles Robinson counts, with Lindsay counting along. 1… 2… 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (4:05) CABOOSE And that’s all she wrote! Vitamin X yells out, “BOO-YAH~!” Cuban Wall smiles evilly. “Rhymin’ & Stealin’” by The Beastie Boys starts playing. BUFFER Here are your winners…BRAINS ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND BRRRRAAAAAAWWWWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Charles Robinson raises Brains & Brawns hands in victory. Both men laugh it up, gloating over their win. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez enters the ring to congratulate her men. COLE And so, Brains & Brawn have once again, come out on top, as they continue their hot streak that started last Thursday! CABOOSE What an impressive victory for Brains & Brawn, the future World Tag Team Champions! They just completely dominated those two scrubs—I mean, competitors. Barry Darsow and Art Simpson got NO offense during this match. NONE. AT ALL. It’s incredible. It’s amazing. It’s super de duper! COACH I think this victory made The Heavenly Rockers even MORE pissed off! CABOOSE Which is good, since now The Heavenly Rockers will have no choice but to give Brains & Brawn a Tag Title shot. You want the belts back? Give Brains & Brawn a Tag Title shot! Lindsay hands Brains & Brawn the OAOAST World Tag Team Championship belts. X and Wall raise the belts to boos. VX puts Synth’s belt around his waist. Cuban Wall slings Logan’s belt over his right shoulder. Charles Robinson checks on Art Simpson, while Barry Darsow starts to get up. “Rhymin’ & Stealin’” continues playing as Brains & Brawn & Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez leave the ring. COLE Let’s take a look at the replay. The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. We see the end of the match starting with Cuban Wall’s Wallbreaker. COACH Cuban Wall and Vitamin X just demolished their opponents. Cuban Wall started it off by giving Art Simpson his Wallbreaker. And then, to continue the assault, Vitamin X went up, and came crashing down with the Leap Of Faith. And then, as if that wasn’t enough, Cuban Wall finished off poor Art with The Lightning Crew Splash for the 1-2-3 and the win. And man, was Lindsay Gonzalez happy about that win or what? Can I watch her celebrating again? We cut to a slow motion shot of Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez jumping up and down after Brains & Brawn’s win. COACH Oh yeah. COLE Coach get your mind out of the gutter. There are more important things to talk about. CABOOSE Yeah, like Brains & Brawn becoming the next Tag Team Champions! COLE That hasn’t happened yet Caboose. A match hasn’t even been signed yet! CABOOSE But it’s inevitable! I think The Heavenly Rockers know that Brains & Brawn are a threat to their titles. They got the belts, all that’s left is to beat them 1-2-3 in the middle of the ring. The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. Brains & Brawn and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez walk down the aisle, smiling evilly, pointing to the Tag belts. A group of fans chant, “P.R. SUCKS! P.R. SUCKS!” COLE Well I’ll tell you what, Tha Puerto Rican may be suspended for a month, but the rest of The Lightning Crew seems to be doing fine on its own. CABOOSE Absolutely. Brains & Brawn will soon bring the World Tag Team Titles to The Lightning Crew. I’m sure Tha Puerto Rican will be pleased with that. COLE Again, a match hasn’t been signed yet. But after what Brains & Brawn did to The Heavenly Rockers last Thursday, what they did to them on Saturday, and what they did to Art Simpson and Barry Darsow tonight, I think The Heavenly Rockers will fight Brains & Brawn real soon. CABOOSE And for once I agree with you. COACH Oh man. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez raises the hands of Brains & Brawn. Brains & Brawn point to the Tag belts with evil smiles on their faces. The crowd boos loudly. The three LC members laugh evilly. Vitamin X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle. Cuban Wall taunts the fans. “Rhymin’ & Stealin’” by The Beastie Boys continues playing. *Most illingest Illingest Illingest B-Boys Taxing all of y’all squares! Yeah!* SCHOOL'S OUT Alfdogg vs. Peter Knight in a STAIRWAY TO HELL match!!! Next Sunday, ONLY on PAY-PER-VIEW! *Cut to Josh Matthews backstage with Alfdogg and Thunderkid. Crowd goes crazy, obv.* JOSH Standing here with the World Heavyweight champion, Alfdogg, as well as Thunderkid...Alf, I just wanted to get your thoughts on your Stairway to Hell match with Peter Knight at School's Out. ALF You know, Josh...from the moment I took the title from Peter at AngleMania, I've been wondering just how long it was going to take him to go over the deep end. Well, I guess we found out when he proposed this match, didn't we? *crowd cheers as Josh sort of shrugs his shoulders and nods.* ALF I mean, does this guy have any idea what kind of matches I've gone through in my time here? Does he remember the Chamber of Hell at AngleSlam? Ironman Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal? The Christmas Deathmatch? All my wars with Sandman9000? *crowd cheers* ALF And now, he thinks he can walk out there and scare me with a little cage and a ladder? It's about time for Petey to figure out who he's dealing with. JOSH Well, certainly you've made a name for yourself over the past year in these type of matches, but you've also beat Knight, as you've mentioned, straight-up at AngleMania, and you also won a match at Living Angleously involving Knight and Brock Ausstin. ALF And I'm tired of hearing him run his mouth about not getting the fall on him in that match. And now, it seems, he wants to test his sadistic side? Well, he's in for a world of hurt at School's Out. *crowd cheers* JOSH Now, let's turn our attention to TK for a minute, next week, you've been signed for a match with the Lightning Crew's Mr. Boricua. But at Living Angleously, you were attacked by the leader of the Lightning Crew, Tha Puerto Rican. TK Yeah, I don't know what's running through PR's mind, Josh. But I'll make sure and get my message across to him next week, when I take out his flunkie. Now, unfortunately, I'm going to have to cut this thing short, because I've got some school supplies to pick up. *TK walks off as Josh looks at Alf. Alf shrugs at Josh, then follows TK out.* COLE Well, guys, that can only mean one thing, TK obviously will be a part of Brock's Sunday Detention Challenge at School's Out! We'll be back with more right after this. Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted May 20, 2006 We return to HeldDOWN and immediately go to the back where Josh Matthews is again standing by. J-MATH Back live here on HeldDOWN and I have with me right now the man that will challenge Alfdogg for the OAOAST Heavyweight title at School's Out Peter Knight. Peter, you heard Alfdogg's comments before the break; your reply? KNIGHT Alf, Alf, Alf. No need for the history lesson, son. I KNOW the wars you've been involved in. I KNOW about your matches with Brock, Sandman and everyone else. But perhaps.....perhaps you've forgotten about the wars that I'VE been in. Does Ultimate X ring a bell? Do you remember my No Holds Barred match with Chris Stevens? Yes Alf, I've also beaten him into a bloody mess. Alf.....do you remember the Glass Table Match at the '03 Great Angle Bash? The whole point isn't to "scare" you; I want to prove to the entire wrestling world that I can go into your comfort zone, your type of match.....and beat you at your own game. At School's Out, I am NOT afraid to feel pain, I am NOT afraid to bleed and I am NOT afraid to end your life if it means that I take back what I never lost....hell....WHAT I DESERVE! Don't believe me? Next week, keep an eye out; I may just give you a little sneak peek at what I have planned for you in Denver. This interview is over. Knight walks off, leaving Josh to simply shake his head and take a breath. We go back to Sofa Central. COLE Wow.... COACH I don't think Alf knows what he just signed for. CABOOSE I think Alf can handle himself, but Knight is a man posessed right now. COLE Well, we come to you now 6 days removed from OAOAST Syndicated and boy, a show of many shocks would be putting it lightly. Now, if you were dumb enough to miss the show for whatever reason, then fear not dummy, your dumb ass is about to get a recap. The OAOAST World Tag Team Championship was on the line as The Heavenly Rockers defended their titles against the team of Bohemoth and Christian Wright. After weeks of tension, the challengers were defeated and this would prove to be the straw that broke the Bohemoth's back. Grabbing a pitcher of water from the timekeeper's table, Bohemoth slides back into the ring. His partner is still down and seemingly still KOed, Nick Patrick trying to bring him back to his sense. Bo shoves Patrick away though and simply tips the pitcher of ice cold water over Christian's face, which wakes him up...and then some. Sitting up and shaking himself back to life, Wright climbs to his feet. And to say he doesn't appreciate Bohemoth's gesture would be an understatement, wiping the freezing water from his eyes and GLARING at his partner! Wet, cold and beaten, Wright runs a hand over his head as Bohemoth throws the empty pitcher away. WRIGHT WHERE WERE YOU? BOHEMOTH He hi... WRIGHT WHERE WERE YOU, WHENCE I REQUIRED YOU! YOU ABANDONED ME! COLE What the hell is Wright talking about? He was the one that got pinned! Bohemoth tries to reason with CW, trying to calm him down at the same time. "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" That doesn't help. WRIGHT TIME AFTER TIME, WEEK AFTER WEEK! YOU CONSPIRE TO RUIN MY BEST LAID PLANS WITH YOUR INCEASANT INCOMPETENCE! THIS WAS TO BE OUR NIGHT! OUR CHAMPIONSHIP GLORY! AND YET, ONCE MORE, YOU'VE QUASHED MY DREAMS! YOU'VE RUINED IT! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? ARE YOU SATISFIED *SLAP~!* "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh, MY! COACH Aw no Chris, what are you doin' man!?! Bohemoth reels back a step and clutches his cheek, as shocked as everyone else who's watching. Despite the slap, Wright is still raging on. Only now, he can't be heard, over the encouragement of the crowd for The Meterosexual Monster to do something about it. Running his tongue across the inside of his cheek, there's little change in Bohemoth's usual expression. Calm. Calculated. *WHAM!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH NOOOOOOO!! COLE FRONT SPINEBUSTER! BOHEMOTH HAS HAD ENOUGH AND HE JUST DRILLED HIS MENTOR WITH THE FRONT SPINEBUSTER! GOOD FOR YOU BO, GOOD FOR YOU! A number of the fans are standing with their thumbs pointing south, hoping for Bohemoth to put another exclamation point on the parting of ways. But Bohemoth doesn't see them, staring down at Wright. Staring down at the man who plucked him from obscurity, trained him up...and now, disrespected...and then turns away, finally stepping out of his former partner's shadow and into the light. COLE I think we've just seen how much Bohemoth take as much as he possibly could take and finally, he's done something about Christian Wright and his disrespect! And it's about damn time too! "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" Bo leaves the ring in a very different manner than he arrived, patted on the back by the fans. Walking down the aisle, Bo doesn't turn back until he reaches the curtain, Wright still out in the middle of the ring, not seeing Bo flexing TEH GUNZ~! for his newfound fans. COLE You know, I stand by what I said on Saturday night, it's about time Bohemoth stepped out and did what he did to Christian Wright. As far as mentors go, Wright has been more hinderance than help in recent weeks during what was admittedly a bad patch for the bigman. He's put all the blame on Bohemoth's shoulders and accepted none himself. COACH Woah, hold up a sec Mikey. If it weren't for CDub, there'd be no Bohemoth. Wright plucked the guy off the streets. He helped train him, he got him contracts everywhere he went. And after all Christian's done for him, Bo decides to bite the hand that feeds him just because CDub got a little angry at him for screwing up? Ungrateful, that's all it was. Ungrateful. COLE Come on Coach, you heard Wright's rambling. He blamed not just that loss but everything solely on Bohemoth. Nevermind that it was Christian who was pinned on Syndicated... COACH Because of Bohemoth's incompetence! COLE Oh, please. Bohemoth isn't blameless but he certainly didn't deserve the treatment he was getting from Christian. You can't blame him for finally losing his patience. COACH I can and I will. COLE Well, whatever, neither Christian or Bohemoth is here tonight for any comments but we've recieved a press conference from the OAOAST 'front office'...which curiously was headed "From The Head Of Hoff" and was written on note paper. And it had a shopping list on the back. Regardless, an official statement regarding OAOAST School's Out has been given to us and Jesse "The Body" Ventura will interview Christian Wright on a special edition of The Body Shop. So I guess we'll have to wait until next Sunday for comments on this situation. COACH That's a bit of a copout, dontcha think? COLE Yes. Yes it is. CABOOSE So, what was on Hoff's shopping list? Roid rash cream? COLE Well, we're not going to top that. HeldDOWN~! Promo Backstage we go and with the cares of the world apparantly being ignored, Leon Rodez sits cross legged on one of the many equipment trunks lying around, casually chatting to whoever's on the other end of his cellphone. Not the behaviour you'd expect from someone who's just lost the OAOAST 24/7 Championship. Mid conversation Leon happens to look up...which proves a mistake, as it catches the attention of crack interview guy Josh Matthews, who'd been standing across the way and waiting for a reason to come over and get an interview. After all, how else is he going to get paid? Sighing, Leon hangs up on his conversation as Josh jogs over, dragging his coffee drinking cameraman with him. JOSH Leon, obviously you've got a lot on your mind, but we'd appreciate a few words. LEON A few words? What, like those rolls of 'Word Of The Day' toilet paper? You know, I don't get the point of them. Who uses one square of toilet paper and one square only, every day? Somebody with issues, that's who. Sure, it's a nice idea, but it's hardly practical. That aside, I'll give you a few words. Uhm... Prerequisite. A condition or requirement that must previously be satisfied. And now you know. You're welcome. JOSH I was thinking more regarding what happened on Syndicated. LEON Yeah, what's the deal with Hoff, Drek and Axel? The fact they're running things now is pretty worrying. I've got shirt deals to kick back on you know. You think they have a degree in business between them? Let alone each. Surely that should be a prerequisite for running this company? JOSH We... LEON See what I did there? Knowledge is the bomb. Carry on Joshua. JOSH Crystal is the new 24/7 Champion and obviously you've got to be bummed out about how it happened. Glancing past the camera, Leon asks our trusty and nameless cameraman if Josh is serious. The camera moves with a shrug, which apparantly is Leon's response. LEON Bummed out? Hang ten dude, hang ten. What you're basically asking me is am I disappointed to no longer be the OAOAST 24/7 Champion. Yeah, sure I am. I go to the trouble of buying a new set for my talk show for it's big, live Syndicated edition and it gets ruined via me getting my ass kicked. Neck's still killing me by the way. But on the plus side, looking up at that silver lining, at least nobody's jumping me from behind and trying to steal a belt off of me anymore. The worst I have to deal with now is people interrupting my phone conversations to try and get interviews off of me...which is annoying, granted, but at least it's safe work. JOSH Uhm...maybe I'm misreading you, but you almost sound glad not to be the Champion anymore. Are you not planning on getting revenge on Crystal and Gunner? LEON Listen J, revenge isn't my deal, you know this. And besides, you expect me to run off and attack Crystal in the parking lot, bludgeon her pretty little head in with whatever weapon I can lay my hands on? Come on man. You know I'm a man of love. Make love not war. I don't want to make war with Crystal. Which leaves only one thing. JOSH ...Seriously? LEON ...Yeah. JOSH ...Seriously seriously? LEON ...Yeah, yeah. JOSH So, no trying to become 3-time 24/7 Champion? You're forgoing that for...for...'other interactions' with Crystal? LEON Here's the thing, Josh. You're not as afluent with the ladies as I am, so maybe you didn't get it, so allow me to fill you in. Crystal's a tough chick. Three time 24/7 Champion. Former World Heavyweight Champion. At the risk of being self defecating...that word of the day toilet paper's pretty good if you need to cut a good promo the night after a curry bender, see...if Crystal wanted to come out through the crowd, jump me from behind and beat me for the 24/7 Champion, then she could have done. She's tough. And yet, she sent Gunner in to do her dirty work and lay me out, ready for her to get the pin, get the belt, get the hell out of there. Now, my theory is that there's a little...feeling there...and she couldn't bear to attack me herself. Maybe I'm right, maybe I'm wrong. Either way, needless to say Crystal has intrigued me. And by that I mean she excites me sexually. You know, we used to hang out a little a while back and there was some chemistry there. So, if you want to know if I'll be pursuing the 24/7 Championship...no. But you want to know if I'm pursuing the 24/7 Champion and then the answer will change to a 'yes'. JOSH Oh...okay then... LEON In the meantime though, apparantly the powers that be, whoever they are anymore, wanted to give me a shot at Crystal at School's Out. But I told them 'no way', that I couldn't put Crystal in that situation. I learnt my lesson with Alix. I don't want to go there again, you understand? JOSH But...you were dating Alix. You're not dating Crystal. Smirking, Leon points to an imaginary watch on his wrist, ignoring the real watch on his other wrist for some reason. LEON So instead, I'll be wrestling Gunner Sharps one on one at School's Out. That way, I can do the 'revenge' thing everyone seems so enamoured with in this business, but I don't jeopardise my budding relationship with my Female Phenom. Everybody wins. *AHEM!* Having wandered in on the conversation, Jade Rodez's cough earns her her brother's attention and forces Josh Matthews into the background. Unfortunately, as he steps off into the background, a massive figure emerges from the empty equipment cases and grabs him by the throat, mumbling something about 'May 19th' before Chokeslamming poor Josh through a nearby table. Curiously, neither Rodez even flinches. JADE You okay? LEON Fine, why? JADE That Crystal bitch taking your belt maybe? LEON Woah, hang on there. I don't approve of you using that sort of language missy and neither would Mom...especially about your possible future sister in law. JADE My WHA... LEON Nothing, nothing, you're hearing things woman. So what's new with you? JADE Plenty. I just came from the 'office' and apparantly we've got to defend the titles against The Beverly Brothers next week. Axel must have been 'convinced' by that bitch Mackenzie... LEON Why does everyone have to be a bitch, just because they're prettier than you? JADE LEON I said that aloud, didn't I? Uhm...you were saying? JADE I was saying, Mackenzie must have convinced Axel to let her get her own way, because he's also made some six-person tag team match thing for School's Out and he's making me team with Tyler and Shayne against Mackenzie and her 'boys'. At that announcement, Leon finally does flinch, standing up abruptly. LEON He's putting you in the ring with Ned!?! JADE Yeah. LEON He knows forewell you can't wrestle! JADE ... LEON I mean... uhm... uh... forget I said that. Do you want me to talk to Axel? JADE No, no. Don't worry, I'll be fine with Tyler and Shayne. I'm sure I can deal with Mackenzie DeCenzo fine, even if I am a bad wrestler and unattractive. LEON Hey, she's a former 24/7 Champion. JADE So's Todd Pettingill. Leon shrugs in accepted defeat. JADE Relax, I'll be fine, I just wanted to see how you're doing. You should be worrying about Crystal, not me. LEON I'm already way ahead of you sis...way ahead of you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted May 20, 2006 *Cut to a local pro shop.* Thunderkid walks in the door, as the bell on top rings. TK walks to his right, towards a wall of golf clubs. He examines the drivers, then walks through the store. He starts looking at weight belts, when he spots Quentin Benjamin on the other side of the table. BENJAMIN Well, I guess we had the same idea! I'm assuming you've entered Brock's match, too. TK That's right. BENJAMIN *grabs a belt* Well, just know, that in ten days at School's Out, one of these is gonna be whippin' your behind all over the schoolhouse! TK kind of grins at Benjamin, then walks over to the baseball bats. Benjamin starts to sneak up on him with the belt, and TK quickly turns around with the bat. Benjamin backs off, long enough for Charlie Moss to blast TK over the back with a hockey stick! TK tries to fight back from the ground, but Team Heyross stomps away! The camera cuts over to the fitting room, where Jumbo jumps out in a karate outfit, with an orange belt tied around his head, and does a karate pose, before spotting the skirmish and coming to TK's aid! It's a 2-on-2 brawl, until police show up at the scene and get the four men separated! *Cut back to Sofa Central* COACH Oh man, I can't WAIT for that Heartland match at School's Out! COLE No doubt about it, Coach, it's going to be exciting! Moving on, though...... “EXCUSE ME!” COLE Uh....up next......what the hell is, oh great. COACH YES! The camera pans to the entrance way as the fans’ jeers get louder as everyone recognizes the voice. “I DEMAND your attention!” The fans continue booing as CRYSTAL, with the big man GUNNER SHARPS, makes her way to the ring with a microphone in hand. CABOOSE Oh boy… CRYSTAL Do you people not realize that you are living a moment in history? You people get to hear the first real interview from the greatest female wrestler in OAOAST history in about 4 months! COLE That’s debatable…we’ve had many great female wrestlers in OAOAST. COACH Puh-leeze Cole! Mah baby gurl is the only female OAOAST Heavyweight Champion! No competition. CRYSTAL The honour of interviewing my re-debut can only go to one person. Only one person can handle such a task, and only one person deserves this opportunity! COLE I had no idea Crystal feels so highly about one of our colleagues… CRYSTAL And that person is…GUNNER SHARPS! COLE …nevermind. The fans are madly jeering already, and the “interview” hasn’t even started yet. GUNNER So Ms. Crystal Adams, where have you been during your much needed break and why come back now? CRYSTAL A much needed break it was! See, running off the women’s division was tough work. I had to pull many a string to get those wannabes deserted in HI-OH, or whatever that shit-hole federation is called in Japan. Instead of stepping in my spotlight, little Jenny is rotting away in Japan. Have fun being a big fish in a very, very small fishbowl Jenny! I wish I could take credit for that skank Alix and that tight ass, supposed liberated feminist Krista but hey, that was just good timing. Now who’s the only dominant female that is not whoring themselves out of the ring for a man? GUNNER Why, I believe that is you Crystal! CRYSTAL Right you are! There is truly only room for one timeless female talent, and that certainly doesn’t include a division of wannabes and a comedy tag team. Crystal will be the dominant female on HeldDown until the day I retire. GUNNER Why go after the 24/7 Title? CRYSTAL What better way to make an impact? There’s nothing like gold to have people take notice. See, I don’t need to be the “hardest worker”. In my younger days, I did because I felt that was the only way to get noticed. But in my wiser age now? I’ll leave the hard work to the Zack Malibus, Leon Rodezs and all of them. All I need is my brain, and let me tell you Gunner, it’s a valuable tool. While all the idiots are working oh-so very hard to gain the approval of you idiots… “BOOOO!” CRYSTAL …and to gain gold, I just have to have a perfect plan and BAM! I’m a champion. Now Gunner, let me ask you a question, one you have been asked all week! Why be the body guard of the Crown Jewel of OAOAST? GUNNER Well Crystal, it’s quite simple. I’ve been ignored long enough, and an old friend of mine, who just happens to be the most talented wrestler in the wrestling world today, offered me a way back, and a nice sum of money later, she had herself a deal. As long as I’m around Crystal, no one will get their hands on that 24/7 title around your waist. CRYSTAL Gunner, you flatter me so much! Okay then, let’s bring out the first challenger for my precious 24/7 Title. And Gunner will be here at ringside to make sure there is no funny business. COLE Yeah, I’m so sure that’s what he’s there for… COACH Oh the lack of faith you have Cole! CUE: “Temperature” by Sean Paul “YEAHHHH!” There is no fancy pyro for The Marv today, and he looks cautious coming down to the ring. Well, wouldn’t you be with Gunner right there? BUFFER Now residing in Laguna Beach, California, he weighs in at 185 pounds, he is THE MARV of the SK8TER BOIZ! “MARV! MARV! MARV!” BUFFER And his opponent, being seconded by Gunner Sharps, residing in Coquitlam, B.C., she weighs in at 155 pounds, she is the 24/7 Champion and the claimed Crowned Jewel of the OAOAST, she is CRYSTAL! DING! DING! DING! COLE Now, here’s a test for Crystal. She hasn’t been in the ring since Feburary, and The Marv is not someone to be taken lightly. He’s a bit stronger than Crystal and is just as fast, if not faster. But, Crystal does have a nearly unmatched technique and has the muscle of Gunner Sharps behind her. The two competitors circle each other and go for the ‘ol collar-and-elbow lockup and The Marv gets an advantage and gets a wristlock on Crystal. Crystal reverses with a tested and true roll through and kip up, which the Marv nearly immediately reverses with a neat handspring reversal and has Crystal in a hammerlock. Crystal struggles for a minute before reversing with a drop toe hold and rolls to lock on an armbar. The Marv stands up in it, forcing Crystal up to, and performs a beautiful armdrag! Before he can capitalize, she is on the ropes, telling him to back off. CRYSTAL STOP CHEATING! This is suppose to be a CLEAN fight! Rolling his eyes, the Marv backs up. Crystal gets away from the ropes and beckons for Marv to lock up again. When Marv goes for it, Crystal ducks him and goes straight into a waistlock, complete with a waistlock takedown. She cinches on a headlock, which Marv muscles his way up on his feet with on. He grabs her wrist and reverses into a top wristlock and tries to muscle Crystal down to a bridge. However, being the sneaky little you know what that she is, Crystal prevents it from pulling his luscious locks and putting him flat on his back. However, she makes the mistake of gloating to the jeering crowd and doesn’t have time to react as the Marv scissors his legs around Crystal’s head and performing a lightning quick headscissors! The momentum rolls Crystal out of the ring and into the, erm, comforting arms of Gunner. The Marv goes to go after his competitor to win the 24/7 Title, but the ref prevents it. CRYSTAL BACK OFF PUNK! Crystal whispers something in Gunner’s year before getting back in the ring and getting in Marv’s face. She pushes him and hammers him with a hard forearm! He comes back with a big punch of his own! Crystal looks shocked and gets back in his face with a finger pointed. CRYSTAL YOU JUST HIT A GIRL! *SLAP!* “Ohhhhh!” COLE Crystal just slapped the taste out of Marv’s mouth! CABOOSE Get her! Crystal grabs the ref and puts him in between her and a now enraged Marv before shoving him into Marv and sprinting out of the ring. Before Marv can chase her, Gunner is up on the apron talking trash to Marv and preventing him from going past him. Gunner distracts him long enough for Crystal to sneak behind Marv. Marv turns around into a vicious clothesline! COLE Give the devil her due, but Crystal, for someone her size, throws a hell of a clothesline. When you have the technique she does, it’s almost as good as having brute strength. Crystal slowly brings up Marv and connects with some vicious knees to the face! She then sends him to the ropes and connects with a back elbow to the jaw. She goes for the pin, but only gets a one count. After scolding the referee to count faster, she sends the Marv to the corner and runs after him, connecting with a hard flying forearm. The Marv slumps the ground and Crystal nonchalantly chokes him with her boot. At the four, Crystal lets go, before giving a b-r-utal knee to the face before choking him for another 4 seconds. COACH This is what Crystal was talking about earlier. She’s being smart! Instead of expending a whole lot of energy, she’s wearing her opponent down with a simple foot to the throat. Brilliant! CABOOSE Yeah, no one has EVER thought of that one before. Crystal drags Marv up by the hair and signals for one more time and whips Marv to the opposite corner, but he reverses and Crystal goes crashing chest first into the turnbuckle, stumbling back to a rollup. 1! 2! Kickout! Crystal gets up right away and goes for a clothesline, but Marv ducks and pins her in a backslide! 1! 2! Kickout! Both get up at the same time, and Marv goes to grab Crystal, but she uses her nails and attempts to scratch his eyes out. As he’s holding his face in pain, Crystal runs the ropes and connects with a straight kick in the head! He stumbles down on his ass, and Crystal picks him back up, wrings his arm, and does a picture perfect Northern Lights Suplex! 1! 2! Kickout! Crystal looks slightly annoyed with the 2 count, but prevents herself from complaining and picks Marv up, only to snapmare him back down. She grabs his shoulders and does 5 quick knees to his back in succession. Crystal runs the ropes and Marv gets a dropkick to the back! Crystal throws him on his back and covers. 1! 2! Kickout! Crystal now is looking a little more annoyed and yells at the ref and bit before picking Marv back up and whipping him to ropes, going for a spinning heel kick. Marv ducks and comes back from the second rope with a cross body! 1! 2! Kickout! Crystal stumbles up as Marv gives some solid punches before going back and running towards Crystal, but Crystal sees it coming and launches him over the top rope she’s near. But Marv lands on the apron and turns Crystal around to punch her some more. When she is good and dazed, Marv holds on to the top rope and with the leverage, does a modified pele kick! Crystal stumbles back the middle of the ring and Marv springboards from the top rope and rolls over Crystal and has Crystal trapped in a sunset flip! 1! 2! Kickout! Gunner nearly cries in relief as Crystal barely kicks out of the pin. He decides that action needs to be taken as Marv runs the ropes, and trips the Sk8er Boi up. Marv gets right back up and kicks Gunner in the face through the first and second rope. But he made the carnal mistake of turning his back on Crystal, who takes advantage of the situation once more a delivers a soon to be renamed Edge-o-matic! COACH That move BETTER be renamed! I just said that Coach! Geesh. Anyways, instead of going for the cover Crystal poses for her fans (who are showering with chants of “CRYSTAL SUCKS!”) and in a very cocky matter, drags up Marv and hooks him up in a front face lock and screams “IT’S OVER!”. COACH She’s going for the Newton’s Law! COLE Newton’s Law, which is also known as the OrangeCrusher, isn’t a move Crystal goes for often. CABOOSE But Marv still outweighs her, even if it isn’t by that much. Crystal lifts up Marv with ease, looking to finish the match, only for Marv to slip behind her and give her an inverted DDT and knock them both down! COLE What a reversal! Whoever gets up first has a distinct advantage here! COACH C’mon Crystal!!! 1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! Both Marv and Crystal are stirring… 7! Crystal is up… 8! And so is the Marv! Crystal charges Marv for a clothesline, but he ducks! She rebounds off the ropes only to be met with a textbook leg lariat! She stumbles up to a kick in the gut and snap suplex! The Marv keeps the front face lock, runs towards the corner, and takes Crystal down once more with a tornado DDT! 1! 2! 2.5! Kickout! Not discouraged, Marv picks up Crystal, only to be met with a cheap poke in the eye by Crystal! She then runs the ropes and performs a tilt-a-whirl head scissors…only for it to be turned into a tilt-a-whirl powerbomb by the one and only Marv! 1! 2! 2.5! Kickout! COACH That was way too fast counting! CABOOSE Aw Coach, you’re just upset that your girl underestimated Marv! Marv signals that it is indeed the end, as he sets up for the G-Spot Jiggy, but Crystal elbows her way out of it and gives a hard boot in the gut followed by a snappy fisherman suplex! 1! 2! 2.5! Kickout! Crystal, irate, yells at the referee to “graduate from Grade 1 and learn to count to three” and ascends the top rope to goes for…who knows what. COLE She could be going for anything here, as Crystal knows her way in the air. Instead of going for something right away, she takes her time, which proves to be her down fall as Marv sprints up to meet her day and knock her down in a sitting position. He jumps up and hits a hurricanarana…only to have Crystal not go down with him because Gunner was holding onto her! Marv lies limply on the mat as Crystal quickly shakes the cobwebs and hits her long time move, the Diamond in the Rough! 1! 2! 3! DING! DING! DING! BUFFER And your winner, and still the 24/7 champion…CRYSTAL! “BOOO!” COLE If it wasn’t for that damn Gunner, The Marv could have very well won that title! COACH But what did Crystal say earlier? It’s all about the brains baby! Gunner hoists Crystal up on his shoulder, reminiscing of Liz and Savage, except much less romantic and much less touching. We fade to commercial on a close up of the 24/7 Title and a smirking Crystal. Fade to black? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
