Wildcards vs. Hooligans 6 Man Titles Match.

[Zack Malibu 0]

MICHAEL BUFFER

Ladies and Gentlemen…the following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL with NO time limit and is for the OAOAST WORLD SIX MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP!!

 

The voice of Michael Buffer sounds out over the arena, causing what was once a mix of murmurs to turn into a giant overwhelming round of cheers and chants in anticipation of what promises to be an incredibly heated match.

 

COLE

Here we go everybody, this is going to get violent.

 

COACH

I don’t think you should even be in the room for this, Michael. This might get R rated in a hurry and you know you have a problem with blood. . . ya pansy.

 

The opening chords and bass drops of Cassidy’s “I’m A Hustla” explodes over the PA as the lighting in Denver goes absolutely crazy, flickering and strobing and heralding the arrival of…

 

MICHAEL BUFFER

Introducing first…the challengers…making their way to the ring at this time…weighing in at a combined five hundred and ninety five pounds… SCOTTY STATIC…JOHHNY JAX…JAMIE O’HARA…they are…THE HOOOOOOLIGANS!!

 

The group of break-away Upstarts appears from behind the curtain, much to the dismay of the crowd, who boos them relentlessly as they make their way to the ring, brushing off every single one of the few high-fives and outstretched hands that happen to be there as they keep jawing at the fans and at every camera they pass that the gold is as good as theirs.

 

CABOOSE

This is it. We are going to see these three men take back what is rightful property of the OAOAST. If these three SWF wrestlers can come in and here and do what they have been doing these past few weeks, who knows what the future holds!

 

COLE

BRET HART TO LED THE INVASION~!111!! NUDE PICTURES TRISH STRATUS! CLICK HERE NOW!!

 

COACH

What the hell is wrong with you?

 

COLE

Sorry. Too much Pepsi Max.

 

CABOOSE

Well that explains a lot.

 

With a leap, Jamie O’Hara hits the apron as the Global Party Exchange takes their time to walk up the ring steps, each climbing through the ropes at nearly the same moment as they turn their attention back to the curtain, all in fighting stance.

 

COLE

All three of them can’t start this match! What are they doing?

 

COACH

You think after what has been going on these past few weeks that anyone should trust what those SWF idiots are capable of?

 

COLE

Good point, Coach…and here we go…

 

The opening throes of “Oh No” break out across the arena and the building goes dark, two spotlights left behind, one shining to the ring, the other to the stage…

 

BUFFER

And there opponents…they weigh in at a combined seven hundred and fifty six pounds…they are known as the King of Pain, The Bloody Prophet, and the Urban Legend… they are BRUCE BLANK, BLOODSHED, and TODD CORTEZ…THE WILDCAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!

 

From behind the curtain steps Bruce Blank and Todd Cortez, with Blank’s torso showcasing two titles as Cortez raises the third in the air for the entire arena to see. The image of three OAOAST titles in the possession of men who’s loyalties lie with a different federation only serves to enrage the crowd even more as they boo and jeer the two men on their way to the ring.

 

COLE

Where is Bloodshed? I don’t see him!

 

CABOOSE

The Hooligans are panicking! Look at them they’re trying to figure out where Bloodshed is.

 

In the ring, Static is spinning himself in circles, looking in every direction for the third Wildcard. Around him, O’Hara and Jax stand guard, almost unaware of the duo slowly making their way to the ring.

 

COACH

This is nothing but mind games! Horrible mind games!

 

Just as Blank and Cortez hit the ringside area, the double spotlights extinguish for just a moment, shrouding the arena in darkness before a hard flash of pyrotechnics explodes from each ring post in a decidedly loud…

 

 

BOOOOOOOOM!

 

…returning the lights to their normal radiance in time to see Scotty Static spin himself around and right into the path of Bloodshed and Bloodshed’s trademark…

 

BLOODMIST~!

 

COACH/COLE

MY GOD!

 

CABOOSE

 

 

COLE

An already bloodied Bloodshed has started this match off with yet another mist right into the eyes of Scotty Static! He’s blinded!

 

As Static grabs at his faces and flails wildly, falling to his back in anguish, O’Hara and Jax attack Bloodshed, throwing punches toward the bloody Wildcard.

 

COACH

LOOK OUT!

 

Coach’s call can fortunately or unfortunately not be heard by the duo in the ring, who find themselves trapped around the waist by Blank and Cortez, who quickly lift up and drive down the remaining Hooligans with stereo german suplexes! The referee hits the ring, quick to admonish the tactics of the SWF contingency, but they simply shrug it off, Bloodshed wiping the blood from his face and Cortez turning his back to the official, both men heading over to their own corner, leaving the larger Blank by himself to start the match. He grabs at Johnny Jax, pulling him up and kicking O’Hara out of the ring before screaming at the ref to ring the bell.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

COLE

And after decimating and possibly blinding the three members of the Hooligans, the biggest dog in this fight has got Johnny Jax in his clutches and things don’t seem as though they are going to be looking up for the Hooligans any time soon.

 

COACH

They should have been disqualified before this match even began, all of ‘em!

 

CABOOSE

I don’t see you jumping up to help them out, Coach.

 

COACH

I could say the same for you.

 

CABOOSE

Well I’m retired, so there

 

COLE

Oh would you two just stop! Stop or get a room

 

In the ring, Jax finds himself coming off the ropes with authority before being drilled in the chest with a hard shoulder block from Blank, dropping him to the canvas with an unsatisfying smack. Bruce is quick to make a cover, but before the ref can even try to get to his knees, O’Hara is in the ring, kicking the back of Blank’s head, causing the monster to jump to his feet with what little quickness he has, pointing his right hand out and almost begging for Jamie to, as they say, “bring it”.

 

COLE

Uh Oh! I don’t think that is what O’Hara wants!

 

CABOOSE

Totally distraction city!

 

COACH/COLE

What?

 

CABOOSE

Look, you idiots!

 

As Caboose points, Bruce takes one too many steps toward the illegal O’Hara, giving Johnny Jax enough time to get back to his feet and send as much force as he can through his shoulder and into the back of Blank’s knee, Chop blocking him down as the referee calls for Jamie to exit, which he does, his hands in the air in innocence.

 

COACH

That’s the kind of thing that is going to keep this match fair!

 

COLE

You call that fair?

 

COACH

Well, I don’t call spitting blood into someone’s face fair either!

 

COLE

The match hadn’t started!

 

CABOOSE

Static is looking a little better over there.

 

On the apron, Static has made it to his knees, his face a mix of green tinge and red blood, his hand slightly outstretched for his partner’s tag, but as Blank pulls himself up he is caught in a headlock by Jax, who does his best to hold on. It only works for a moment though, as Bruce pushes up and stands up while raising O’Hara into the air, With a twists he uses all his strength to send Johnny flying as he tosses him out of the headlock but straight into the Hooligan corner!

 

COLE

Blind tag made by O’Hara!

 

The referee is in plain view of the tag off Jax’s back as O’Hara leaps to the top turnbuckle and jumps off, sending both of his feet into Blank’s back before quickly somersaulting off, landing on his feet in the middle of the ring and taunting Cortez and Bloodshed. The bloody one moves through the ropes despite Cortez’s protests, and is quickly pushed back by the referee, leaving the Hooligans in perfect position for some payback as both O’Hara and Jax attack with kicks in the corner, keeping the big man grounded as they target his knee. Jax exits the ring as O’Hara makes his way back toward the Wildcard corner, taunting them once more before the referee turns around in time to see O’Hara’s boots catching the downed Blank square in the jaw, the dropkick causing loud “Oooh”s from the Denver crowd.

 

COACH

That is exactly what they need to do to get any headway against Bruce. Keep that big lug down and do what they can to keep him from making it back to his corner. Blank outweighs everyone in the ring by at least 65 pounds if not more, but on his back he’s no bigger than anyone else.

 

COLE

Sound strategy for certain, but Blank already looks to be getting back up!

 

Cole’s call is correct, as Bruce is doing what he can to fight off the smaller O’Hara as he attacks with a flurry of kicks. As Bruce gets back to his knees, Jamie hits the opposite side of the ring, flying off the ropes and leaping into the air, aiming for a second dropkick…

 

OOMPH!

 

With a grunt, Bruce Blank’s arm flies up, kicking the legs of O’Hara out of the air and sending him down to the canvas.

 

COLE

Never seen a dropkick blocked like that before, just swatted him out of the air.

 

CABOOSE

One time in Alaska I saw it. Polar bear did it to a skinny looking Eskimo.

 

COACH

Yeah right.

 

CABOOSE

I got the scars to prove it! He was my tag team partner and that bear went after me next!

 

With Coach and Caboose arguing at ringside and starting to share scars like they are the cast of Jaws 9, Cole is the only one paying attention as Bruce makes his way back to his feet at the same moment as O’Hara, the two standing in each other’s way to their corner. After a pause, the two men go into a tie-up, the larger Blank easily pushing back on Jamie, who does his best to gets his feet working to his advantage, pulling himself to the side and trying to pull Bruce along. The reluctant giant gets wind of this rather quickly, and with a loud grunt, Jamie finds himself in the air once more, his legs kicking at the stomach of Blank as he spins around and throws O’Hara out and into the middle of the ring. The spry O’Hara lands on his feet like a cat, only to catch a HARD lariat that sends him around, flipping through the air like a top, or dreidel if that is your thing, before crashing to the mat much to the dismay of his teammates, who begin screaming for a tag. Back on his feet, Scotty’s eyes blink from O’Hara to Bloodshed, who is nonchalantly watching the action next to Cortez as Blank’s imposing figure moves to the Hooligan corner, his hands asking the GPX to join him much like O’Hara did moments ago. Jax makes a move to come through the ropes, but Blank swings down, his club of a forearm barely missing Jax as he pulls himself back at the last possible second. Blank gives the feisty fighter a cute smile before turning himself back to O’Hara, who is back up to his feet and heading at him, jumping up for a splash!

 

COLE

He’s caught!

 

Coach and Caboose finally stop arguing in time to see Jamie’s head bounce off the top turnbuckle thanks to some Snake Eyes courtesy of Bruce Blank. O’Hara recoils back to the middle of the ring and Bruce follows, stepping over the downed Hooligan and yawning, his hand going over his mouth as he reaches out, tagging in Todd Cortez with a hint of utter relaxation and boredom.

 

COACH

Is Bruce going to go to sleep over there? The Global Party Exchange and Jamie O’Hara aren’t three guys you want to take lightly.

 

CABOOSE

I don’t think Bruce Blank *can* take anything lightly. Look at him. He has a bigger gut than Cole’s boyfriend.

 

COLE

…you *bleep*

 

CANNED CROWD

OOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

CABOOSE

Dude, take a joke. We know you can take other things.

 

Michael Cole fumes a bit and Coach laughs as Todd Cortez and Bruce Blank switch places, Cortez hopping over the top rope and into the ring legally for the first time in the match as O’Hara gets back up to his feet.

 

COLE

(Ignoring the others) right now we’re having a flashback to Heldown a few weeks ago where Cortez and O’Hara faced off in a street fight

 

Cortez and O’Hara are face to face, jawing at each other as the intensity between the two competitor’s build pulling the fans to the edge of their seats. Jaime O’Hara makes a belt motion that only seems to enrage the Urban Legend as he responds by drawing a thumb across his throat to indicate his intentions for O’Hara and the rest of the Hooligans. Of course O’Hara makes the only appropriate response there is to make

 

COACH

That’s showin’ him J-Dawg!!

 

CABOOSE

Did he just call him #1?

 

COLE

I doubt it.

 

CABOOSE

Yeah that was called a joke.

 

Cortez tries to lock up with O’Hare but the Upstart ducks under Cortez’s arms and lands a spinning leg lariat to the back of the Urban Legend knocking him forward a few steps into the ropes. O’Hara runs at Cortez but the Urban Legend clasps his hand around O’Hara’s throat and lifts him up straight in the air for what looks like a choke bomb. Using his forward momentum O’Hara succeeds in spinning the choke bomb attempt around so he lands with his feet on the middle ropes in the corner instead. Jamie quickly kicks Todd Cortez in the chest to knock the Wildcarder back and then a split second later drop kicks Cortez square in the chest, knocking him into the opposite corner.

 

CABOOSE

They’re putting it in high gear right off the bat!

 

COACH

As if there was any doubt that my boys would show those savages how it’s done in OAOAST!

 

With Cortez hanging off the ropes in the corner O’Hara quickly rushes in, leaps up on Todd’s bent knee but when he tries to kick Cortez in the back of the head with an shinning wizard like move the Urban Legend bobs his head out of the way so that O’Hara ends up sitting on his shoulders instead. The Birmingham bad boy throws all of his weight forward and manages to roll his opponent up with a victory roll.

 

ONE!!

 

TWO!!

 

But an enraged Cortez kicks out before the referee’s hand goes down for the 3rd count.

 

COLE

Much, much to early to get a pin on Cortez

 

CABOOSE

I have to agree, I mean no one here likes the Wildcards but they don’t just roll over and die.

 

Cortez quickly locks up with O’Hara in the middle of the ring as the two struggle for the upper hand. Max uses his height to push Jamie back into the corner against the ropes. Cortez slowly backs off as the referee begins to count for a rope break, he’s got his hands in the air prepared to defend himself giving O’Hara a clean break with a smirk on his face.

 

COACH

What the hell?

 

CABOOSE

Maybe he feels he doesn’t NEED to cheat?

 

COACH

Yeah right he’ll be cheating in a moment when my boys dismantle him.

 

Jamie O’Hara quickly runs at Cortez trying to gain the momentum back after the clean break but the Urban Legend manages to hook O’Hara and drive him into the canvas with a power slam. Then he backs up a few steps to get a running start as he flips over Jamie’s head and snaps his head forward in one smooth motion. Cortez turns towards the Upstarts and flips them both off with a huge grin.

 

CABOOSE

Okay he needs to focus on his opponent more! He has him down and all.

 

COACH

You’d like nothing better than to see the Hooligans wouldn’t you? Are you secretly working for the SWF?

 

CABOOSE

Oh don’t be ridiculous.

 

O’Hara slowly gets back to his feet before Cortez decides to take another shot at him. Jamie reaches back and blindly tags in Johnny Jax while Todd Cortez runs right at him. O’Hara ducks under the attack from Cortez allowing his tag-team partner to come flying off the top rope with a cross body block into a cover on the totally unprepared Urban Legend.

 

ONE!!

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

TH-Kick out!!

 

“FOCUS!! FOCUS!!” Bruce screams at his partner as he got more than a little worried that he was about to lose the match.

 

Johnny Jax doesn’t allow his opponent to get a breather as he grabs Cortez by the right arm before he’s even back up on his feet and drives him down with an Arm bar DDT. After nailing the DDT perfectly Jack floats over into a Fujiwara Arm bar, wrenching back on Todd’s right arm sending flashes of searing white pain down his elbow and shoulder. Bruce shifts his weight on the apron, uncomfortable with just watching the action in the ring but unable to affect it while Bloodshed seems to be watching everything but the two men fighting in the ring. Cortez fights against the pain, he tries to shift his body a bit to alleviate the pressure of the arm bar but Jax has it expertly applied and isn’t about to give his opponent any opening in the match. After a few more moments in the arm bar Bruce has had enough and rushes into the ring stomping Johnny Jax across the back of the head / neck with his cowboy boot, breaking the hold before the referee can intercept him.

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

CABOOSE

The Referee wasn’t on the ball there, he let Bruce break up the arm bar before he could stop him

 

COACH

That dirty, cheating bastard!!

 

COLE

Oh quit whining, he has a five count to get in and out of the ring.

 

COACH

That’s only when you tag out.

 

After the blow to the head Jax thinks it best to tag out as he quickly reaches over and slaps hands with Scotty Static. But before he leaves the ring he picks Cortez up from the canvas and lifts him up for a double team move. Scotty Static quickly climbs the ropes and then comes off with a drop kick to the face of the Urban Legend. The impact knocks Cortez backwards, flipping over his own head and landing on his stomach right at Bruce’s feet almost within tagging range.

 

COACH

Too close!! Too close!!

 

COLE

Man he’s mere inches away from tagging out, inches from changing the momentum of the match instantly.

 

Cortez raises his hand, reaching for the outstretched hand of Bloodshed who’s closest to him. Static lets Todd inch a bit closer before he grabs Cortez’ leg and pulls him towards the center of the ring, out of reach of a tag.

 

COACH

See, on the ball that’s what makes the OAOAST boys different, they use their brains, they’re smart

 

COLE

I hate to agree with you on ANYTHING Coach. . .

 

COACH

. . . but?

 

COLE

No that was it, I just hate to agree with you on anything.

 

Static rushes his opponent, landing a clothesline that drops Cortez like a bad habit. Scotty Static then places Cortez’s head between his knees and pulls the Urban Legend upwards, most likely hoping to put him in a piledriver position, but Todd jumps with the move adding enough momentum to flip himself up onto Scotty’s shoulders. Cortez tries a hurracanrana but Static quickly puts his arms up to prevent it from happening and in the hopes of turning the move into a power bomb instead. Static staggers backwards a few steps as Cortez lands a few choice shots to the top of the Hooligan’s head and then he drops backwards sending Cortez face first into the top turnbuckle.

 

COACH

Oh yeah! That’s using your heard. . . or your opponent’s head in this case.

 

Scotty quickly steps through the ropes and climbs up onto the top rope while he eyes Cortez on the ground and then prepares to leap off. But the drop is interrupted as Bloodshed grabs the top rope and shakes it so hard that Scotty Static looses his footing and slips off landing with one leg on either side of the turnbuckle.

 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWW!!

 

CABOOSE

I doubt we’ll see a Static Jr. Now

 

Scotty slowly falls forward, flopping to the ground in a heap after landing crown jewels first on the top turnbuckles. Cortez crawls across the canvas and covers Scotty Static taking advantage of Scotty’s unfortunate landing

 

ONE!!

 

TWO!!

 

TH-NO!!

 

COLE

Oh come on O’Hara put Static’s foot on the rope

 

COACH

I didn’t see that, the referee didn’t see it either from the looks of it.

 

Cortez seems in shock that Scotty Static wasn’t put away with that, but shakes it off as he tries to figure out something else to do to get this match to become a victory. He takes a few steps back, waiting for the still staggered Scotty to start getting up to his feet, then when he's at one knee Cortez charges in with an attempted Shining Wizard. The angle that Cortez and Static’s bodies are in comparison with the referee, prevents the zebra from seeing Static simply raise one of his arms up high, catching Todd Cortez right in a very sensitive area as he comes in for the shinning wizard. This, like Scotty Static’s slip up earlier in the match, causes the male portion of the audience to wince in pain and hold themselves.

 

COLE

What a cheap trick by Static! If the referee saw that his team would...

 

COACH

There you go again making up stuff that didn’t happen.

 

COLE

But I clearly saw it.

 

COACH

But that's the thing cracka!, the referee DIDN'T see it! And you know the old rule about what a referee sees and what he doesn't see

 

CABOOSE

Unfortunately, that rule is in full effect here tonight. Static has given his team a great advantage at the moment

 

Neither man is very mobile at the moment so the rush to tag is really a “rush” per say but a slow crawl towards their respective corners. Static tags in his regular tag-team partner Johnny Jax who steps through the ropes and then rushes across the ring hoping to stop Todd Cortez from tagging out.

 

COACH

Oh he won’t make the . . .

 

Cortez tags

 

COLE

You were saying?

 

CABOOSE

Oh shut up the both of you, Bloodshed and Johnny Jax are in the ring and no one wants to hear you two bicker.

 

Bloodshed has been chomping at the bid to get into action and now that he’s finally tagged in he’s making the best of the situation starting with jabbing his fingers into Johnny Jax’s eyes to temporarily blind his opponent. Moments later Jax finds himself tossed over the side to the floor as Bloodshed grabs Jax by the trunks and the hair. With Jax laid out on the floor on the outside Bloodshed grabs the ropes and then slingshots himself over the top rope

 

COLE

WHOA beautiful slingshot plancha

 

COACH

Meh I’ve seen better

 

Jamie O’Hara leaps into the ring, runs across the ring and then leaps over the top rope without touching it, knocking Bloodshed down

 

COACH

See? Much, much better

 

CABOOSE

Oh you shameless shill

 

Not one to be outdone Todd Cortez enters the ring, bounces off the ropes and then knocks down Johnny Jax, Bloodshed and Jamie O’Hara with a suicide dive between the ropes. The last Hooligan hops over the ropes, runs across the ring and then leaps up on the top rope where he balances for a moment before leaping forward onto the 4 wrestlers on the floor

 

HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!

 

COLE

The wrestlers are flying high tonight!

 

CABOOSE

What’s that idiot doing? He can’t be serious.

 

Bruce has stepped into the ring and actually runs towards the side where 5 others are

 

COACH

NO DAMN WAY IS HE JUMPING!!

 

And Coach is right, at the last moment before he has to leap out of the ring Bruce stops with a grin on his face and then flips off the crowd for being so damn gullible. Bloodshed manages to grab Johnny Jax and roll him back into the ring and then follows him while the other three wrestlers on the floor are still recovering from their leaps out of the ring. With his opponent in the perfect position Bloodshed hooks both his arms under Johnny Jax’s and locks on a Full Nelson before turning it into a bridged Cattle Mutilation

 

COLE

It’s the Panic Attack!

 

COACH

Oh my boy Jax will power right out of that, don’t you worry

 

Bloodshed’s muscle shake as he applies the pressure on his opponent, using all his skill and leverage to keep the Panic Attack locked on.

 

COACH

Any minute now Pete – you’ll see

 

Jax’s face contorts in pain as Bloodshed pulls back on Johnny Jax’s spine trying to bend it in the opposite direction of what it was designed to do, rocking back and forth a little to lock the hold on tighter and tighter every time Jax tries to draw a breath of air.

 

COACH

Okay you can break it now Jax

 

CABOOSE

You sound a bit worried there Coach.

 

The referee grabs Jax’s right arm and raises it into the air to see if he’s is out cold from the Panic Attack or not. The arm drops lifelessly to the canvas once, then another time, but Jamie O’Hara decides to enter the ring and kicks Bloodshed off Johnny Jax before the referee can lift his arm a third time. Jamie doesn’t stay in the ring for a more than a second after he kicked Bloodshed but instead quickly returns to the apron with the tag rope in hand yelling for Jax to tag one of them in.

 

COACH

See he’d break it, I knew it *sigh of relief*

 

COLE

O’Hara broke it! Not Jax

 

COACH

Ah semantics

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bruce tagged in, Static isolated and mauled (big time cheating)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

With a swift flick of the legs Johnny takes Bruce down with a drop toehold that he rolls over into a side headlock on the big man. Jax makes sure the hold is on tight at Bruce starts to rise, lifting the 227 pound Cruiserweight high up in the air. The moment Bruce raises Jax into the air Scotty Static runs down the apron and quickly pushes his partner’s feet to give him enough momentum to turn the headlock into a tornado Bulldog on the King of Pain. A split second after the big man’s face has been driven into the canvas Johnny Jax leaps to his feet, runs at Bruce who’s barely up on his hands and knees and uses him as a step ladder by placing a foot on his back to help him up on the top rope.

 

COLE

Damn he’s fast, he’s so fast he’s sudden!

 

CABOOSE

Yeah but can he outrun a fart? I don’t think so

 

COLE/COACH

What??

 

Johnny Jax flips backwards off the top rope and lands an elbow right to Bruce’s lower back knocking the big man back down to the canvas. Jax quickly reaches out and tags Scotty Static before climbing up the ropes again as the referee begins the mandatory 5 count

 

ONE!!

 

Static climbs up the ropes in his corner to the top rope

 

TWO!!

 

The two men throw each other a thumbs up as they both balance on the top rope

 

THREE!!

 

Quickly leaping off Scotty Static lands a back Senton bomb while Johnny Jax lands a flying leg drop right across Bruce’s throat.

 

FOUR!!

 

Jax quickly rolls out under the bottom rope before the count reaches 5. The moment Jax is under the ropes Scotty Static covers Bruce by laying across his chest with all of his 198 pounds of weight.

 

ONE!!

 

TWO!!

 

THR-BROKENUPBYTODDCORTEZ!!

 

The kick to the back of the head on Scotty Static breaks the count and staggers him as well. Cortez eyes an opening and runs at Scotty Static, leaps and goes for the flipping Tombstone known as the Riot Act Plus

 

SCOTTY STATIC FLIPS TODD CORTEZ OVER THE TOP ROPE!!

 

COLE

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY CRAP!

 

COACH

I couldn’t have said it better myself.

 

The second Todd Cortez hits the ground both Jamie O’Hara and Johnny Jax leap on him and introduce him to their fists – repeatedly. Cortez isn’t alone for long as Bloodshed leaps off the apron and tackles Johnny Jax against the guardrail with a hollow thud. Moments later Bruce rolls under the bottom rope and lands a clubbing blow to the back of Jamie O’Hara driving the Birmingham Bad Boy off Todd Cortez.

 

*CRACK!!*

 

Scotty Static has grabbed the time keeper’s chair and cracked Bruce across the back with it as all 6 men brawl on the outside with no regard for the rules or for the referee’s instructions or pleads.

 

*WHACK!!*

 

Bloodshed repays the favor as he smacks Scotty Static square in the face with one of the OAOAST 6 Man titles, busting the young GPX’er wide open.

 

* DING!*DING!*DING!*DING!*DING!*DING!*

 

Even the ringing of the bell doesn’t stop the brawl on the floor as all 6 men forget about high flying action and let their fists do all the talking, at least until Michael Buffer makes the official announcement.

 

MICHAEL BUFFER

Ladies and Gentlemen the referee has ruled this match a no conte-!

 

Before Buffer can say “Contest” Bruce has pushed him to the ground and taken the microphone from the ring announcer.

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

BLANK

No, no, no, no! This isn’t how it ends tonight, NO *BEEP* WAY!! Maybe the sensitive OAOAST referees don’t like a bit of chair swinging but damn it this isn’t about headlocks or drop kicks! THIS IS ABOUT BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF YOU LOSERS!!

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

 

The Hooligans seem to take offence to Bruce’s comments as the big man keeps on talking.

 

BLANK

So how about this – You say the word and it’s back on, we defend these sum’bitches tonight

 

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!

 

BLANK

Only WITHOUT DISQUALIFICATIONS OR COUNTOUTS!!

 

COLE

Bruce just suggested that they continue the 6 man tag-team title match as a no DQ, no Count out match

 

CABOOSE

Now we’re talking, get this settled like men!

 

O’Hara, Jax and the bleeding Static huddle up for a moment and then O’Hara eagerly nods his head while Jax picks up the metal chair and Static grabs the ring bell off the table.

 

CABOOSE

IT’S ON NOW!!

 

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!

 

The moment the Hooligans agree to the match Todd Cortez tackles Johnny Jax and the fight is back on! Cortez Irish whips Jax hard into the guardrail, flipping the man from Detroit over the guardrail and into the crowd. The fans rises to their feet as Todd Cortez jumps over the guardrail as well and starts to attack Johnny Jax in the crowd – the fans likes their out of control, audience interactive brawls after all.

 

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

 

COACH

Man this is almost impossible to keep track of

 

COLE

Tell me about it, I mean we’ve got THREE out of control brawls going on at the moment, this is not how it’s supposed to happen

 

COACH

What? Did you expect everyone to just go to the ring all courteous and shake hands?? These guys don’t like each other one little bit.

 

Cortez taking a metal chair from a fan that’s more than willing to hand it to him and then bashes Johnny Jax over the back with him. Meanwhile at ringside Bloodshed and Scotty Static are both fighting over who gets to use the ring bell while Bruce introduces Jamie O’Hare to the ring post

 

*THUD!!*

 

Figuring that one good move shouldn’t go unrepeated Bruce whips Jamie O’Hare into the ringpost once more, busting the Birmingham Bad Boy wide open on the metal pole. Static manages to rip the ringbell out of Bloodshed’s hands and then strikes the demented Apostle with it.

 

COACH

That sick bastard is still smiling!!

 

CABOOSE

Don’t think that didn’t hurt – but he seems to like it when he’s hurting.

 

Meanwhile the crowd parts like the Dead Seas as Todd Cortez keeps punching away at Johnny Jax, pushing him backwards and up the steps of the bleachers one punch at a time as the Urban Legend lets loose. After a exchanging blows and climbing the stairs Cortez & Jax have fought their way half way up the stairs exchanging lefts and rights along the way. Cortez tries to land an elbow on Johnny Jax but the quick Hooligan ducks under it, turns around and then nails Todd Cortez square on the jaw with a Superkick as the Urban Legend turns around...

 

*POW!!*

 

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

 

The kick sends Cortez backwards, knocking him down the concrete stairs ass over elbow. Johnny Jax stands there for a moment and just watches as Todd rolls down the stairs, flipping over his shoulders once and then lands with one leg on each side of a metal pole.

 

CABOOSE

OOOOOOOOH right on the mommy/daddy button

 

Bruce tries to Irish Whip Jamie O’Hare into the ring steps but he swiftly reverses it and sends Bruce face first into the metal steps knocking the top half of it off with his face. O’Hare slides into the ring and then runs at the ropes on the opposite side of where Bruce is to gain momentum for some sort of flying attack.

 

COACH

That damn Bloodshed!!

 

And Coach is right to curse as Bloodshed leaps up at the last moment and pulls the top rope down, causing Jamie O’Hare to get tangled up in the ropes as he flips over the top. Johnny Jax has made it down the flight of stairs and dragged the very groggy Todd Cortez down the last few steps to the floor. Jax grabs Cortez around the head and then runs forward in a bulldog motion, but instead of driving his opponent down into the concrete he rams the top of Todd Cortez’s skull right into the metal exit door with a hollow thud!

 

CABOOSE

I knew this would be wild when it was announced, but this is totally out of control!

 

COLE

Yeah we’ve got two guys fighting their way to the lobby area and four guys at ringside tearing each other apart.

 

Bloodshed is up on the apron landing blow after blow to the trapped Jamie O’Hara’s throat while Bruce staggers to his feet on the ground. The bloodied Scotty Static eyes an opening and grabs the ring bell off the floor. Then he runs at Bruce, bell raised high in the air. At the last moment Bruce ducks down, grabs Static around the waist and then lifts him up in the air while dropping backwards!

 

COACH

NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

 

*BONG!!*

 

Static’s face strikes the steel steps without any protection as the crowd winces in horror over the sound and the sight of flesh on metal. Bruce rolls Scotty Static onto the floor and then covers his opponent and tells the referee in no uncertain terms that he BETTER count...

 

ONE!!

 

TWO!!

 

THREE!!

 

COACH

NOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

 

Neither Cortez nor Johnny Jax seems to have noticed that the Wildcards have successfully defended the 6 man tag-team titles as they keep exchanging lefts and rights by the arena exit. Bloodshed yells something to Bruce to get his attention. After noticing what’s going on in the ring Bruce pulls up the ring curtain, looking for something. Then he grins from ear to ear as he pulls out a staple gun!

 

COACH

Oh hells no! Get some officials out there, get the police or the national guard out here because this has GOT to stop!!

 

CABOOSE

Nah I wanna see where this is going

 

Bruce climbs up on the apron next to where Jamie O’Hara is trapped and holds the staple gun up high in the air for the entire arena to see. Then Bloodshed pulls a playing card out from his pocket, a joker that’s smeared with blood. He places the card on O’Hara’s chest and Bruce squeezes off a staple!

 

*WHACK!!*

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

COLE

This is sick! These guys are animals!!

 

COACH

MAKE IT STOP!! MAKE IT STOP!!

 

The crowd starts to pelt Bruce and Bloodshed with crumpled up cups and anything else they can think off as Bloodshed produces yet another playing card, the Ace of Spades with the name “Cortez” written across it.

 

CABOOSE

Well Cortez is obviously the “Ace” of the group

 

COACH

Oh very funny, they’re mutilating Jamie O’Hara and you’re making jokes??

 

*WHACK!!*

 

The Ace is quickly stapled to O’Hare’s chest. Then Bruce pulls out a card of his own, the King of Spades, suitable for the King of Pain. Then he places it on O’Hare’s forehead before handing the staple gun over to Bloodshed...

 

DON’T DO IT!! DON’T DO IT!! DON’T DO IT!! DON’T DO IT!!

 

COACH

DON’T DO IT!! DON’T DO IT!!

 

*WHACK!!*

 

COLE

Right in the forehead! This is insane!

 

After stapling the 3 cards to Jamie O’Hara, Bruce and Bloodshed jump down to the floor, round the corner to pick up the three tag-team titles and then they head up the aisle as the announcement is made.

 

MICHAEL BUFFER

The winners of the match and STILL OAOAST six man tag-team champion: Todd Cortez, Bruce Blank and Bloodshed – the WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILDCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!!

 

COACH

This isn’t over! This is far from over – mark my words The Hooligans will tear these three outsiders apart!

 

COLE

After what we saw tonight. . . I’m not so sure!