SO: BHB and Mackie vs. D*LUX and Jade

[King Cucaracha 0]

COLE
Up next, it's the six person tag match, which after this Thursday night has a whole lot riding on it. The new HI-YAH Tag Team Champions The Beverly Hills Blonds join forces with their manager Mackenzie DeCenzo...

COACH
Former 24/7 Champion, Mackenzie DeCenzo.

COLE
...to take on the former champions and until this Thursday unbeaten duo of D*LUX and their manager, Jade Rodez. The titles are on the line in this one, but so too is Jade Rodez's self respect. In order to get the belts on the line, Jade has had to agree to a certain 'stipulation'. If The Blonds and Mackenzie win, Jade has to become...I can't believe I'm saying this...she'll be forced to become Ned's slave for a month. And with that, let's take you back to Josh Matthews who's standing by with the challengers tonight.


*STARWIPE~!*

Back at the interview position, the less jovial than usual members of D*LUX stand either side of Josh and Jade Rodez, who is ready to fight...pigtails and all.

MATTHEWS
Jade, it's been many months since we've seen you compete in the OAOAST and never have the stakes been higher for you. But what I'm wondering is why you agreed to the stipulations proposed by Ned Blanchard?

JADE
Thursday night, Ned and Simon stole the titles. They didn't deserve to win and we certainly didn't deserve to lose the way we did. I'm confident that tonight will be different and that's why I agreed. Tyler and Shayne deserve the titles. We've worked hard to get where we have and we worked hard for those belts. Sometimes, a manager has to make a sacrifice to get her team to the top. If teasing Ned a little is that sacrifice, like, whatever, that's fine.

MATTHEWS
And teasing meaning mental teasing and not...you know...physical teasing?

Jade casts a sideways look at Josh before sighing and calling D*LUX away and on to the ring.

*RE-STARWIPE~!*


COACH
Jeez, what a pessimist. A month with Ned Blanchard doesn't seem like much of a 'sacrifice' to me, he knows how to treat a lady and make a month seem like an eternity.

COLE
I don't doubt that. Five minutes with Ned would seem like an eternity to me.

CABOOSE
By all accounts that's about as long as you'd last.





"JUST ONE ON ONE
THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY!
JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT!

JUST ONE ON ONE
THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY!
JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT!"

The awkward silence is broken by the awkward choice of a wrestling theme song, "First To Believe" by A1. They're not monsters, but they're damn sure meterosexual. Not looking quite their usual selves "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant and "Showtime" Shayne Brave emerge through the entrance way decked out in purple denim, a fine choice indeed, as it matches the ring attire of their inexperienced partner Ms. Jade Rodez! Doing a couple of quick squats and limbering up the muscles, Jade points the way down the OAOAST trademark elevated PPV ramp for her team.

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, the following six person tag team contest is scheduled for one fall and it is Title vs. Slavery, with the HI-YAH World Tag Team Championships and Jade Rodez's compliance with Ned Blanchard's ever wish on the line! And in this match, the titles CAN change hands on a countout or on a disqualification. Introducing first, the challengers for the titles. At a total combined weight of five hundred and fourty three pounds...the team of JADE RODEZ and her partners, the former HI-YAH Tag Team Champions... "TREMENDOUS" TYLER BRYANT... "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE BRAVE... they are D*LLLLLUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!

"YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COACH
Five hundred and fourt three pounds...and at least half of that is Jade's contribution to the trio.

COLE
Oh come on Coach!

COACH
Hey, no big deal. The Coach likes a little meat on his women.

CABOOSE
My God you're a walking stereotype.

Reaching the end of the rampway Tyler and Shayne half-enter the ring, holding open the ropes for Jade who glides in and immediately takes issues with Michael Buffer's weight information. Buffer showed her his card though and Jade accepts defeat before turning back to the entrance to beckon on the opponents. Tyler and Shayne de-jacket and they too beckon on the California trio.

"D - LUX!"
"D - LUX!"
"D - LUX!"
"D - LUX!"

The crowd are already solidly behind the challengers, even before "Call Me" by Blondie hits, prompting a group of backstage hands to come flying out from the back, dragging a lavish red carpet with them. The carpet only reaches halfway down the ramp, but it's good enough for the triumphant trio of Ned Blanchard, Simon Singleton and Mackenzie DeCenzo as they emerge and marvel at the grand entrance. Noteable is the now infamous clapboard in Mackenzie's hands, which she gleefully snaps a couple of times in D*LUX's direction, earning her scowls from all three.

BUFFER
And, their opponents. All hailing from Beverly Hills, California. They weigh in at a total combined weight of four hundred, sixty pounds, plus an undisclosed amount...the team of the former OAOAST 24/7 Champion, Business Consultant MACKENZIE DECENZO... and she presents, the defending HI-YAH WORLD Tag Team Champions... SIMON SINGLETON and "THE HANDSOME HUSTLER" NED BLANCHARD... THE BEVERLY HILLS BLLLLOOOONNDDSSSSSSSSS!!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Reaching the end of the aisleway, the posing and posturing HI-YAH Tag Team Champions take up issue with the partizan crowd. With all three on the ramp distracted, D*LUX look to sieze their opportunity. Breaking forward, Tyler Bryant performs a seamless leap to the top rope and soars out of the ring, crashing into Ned with a Spaceman Plancha and sending Ned's belt flying from his hands! And before Simon has time to take what happened in, Shayne Brave springboards to the top and comes at Singleton with feet extended, landing a Springboard Dropkick that sends Simon tumbling back down the rampway!

"YYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
WOW! D*LUX aren't waiting around while The Blonds stall tonight!

Tyler goes to work on Ned with some right hands, while Simon and Shayne both stay down from their hard landings on the ramp. That leaves just Mackenzie, standing in disbelief at the scene around her. In the process though, she turns her back on the ring and on Jade Rodez who leaves the ring and grabs Mackie by the hair! A loud, ear piercing shriek from Mackenzie doesn't deter Jade as she tosses her into the ring and follows, leaving the Beverly Hills Blonds' Business Consultant begging for mercy!


*DINGDINGDING!*

The bell officially rings as Jade advances on Mackenzie, balling up her fist with intent. The crowd urge Jade to smash it right into the pretty mouth of the former 24/7 Champion and Jade intends to do just that, until Mackenzie finally realises begging off isn't working and instead intercepts. A headbutt to the gut doubles Jade over, allowing Mackenzie to land a forearm to the side of the head. 

COLE
Ooh, Jade stalled a little too longer to get the crowd behind her and she paid for it.

CABOOSE
A habit that evidently runs in the family.

Despite her limited wrestling ability, Mackenzie seems happy to stay on the offense, with two more forearms before pausing to fix her hair. Crouching down, the loudmouth business consultant then talks some trash to the youngster before pulling Jade up to face her...and earning a HARD forearm to the face! Mackenzie goes stumbling backwards and looks totally shocked, even more so when Jade comes after her again, forcing Mackie to dive from the ring and retreat to the floor. Jade gives chase, while Mackie hauls ass.

"KICK HER ASS JA - ADE, KICK HER ASS!"
*CLAPCLAP!*
"KICK HER ASS JA - ADE, KICK HER ASS!"
*CLAPCLAP!*

Meanwhile on the ramp, the battle continues between The Blonds and D*LUX. Shayne and Simon exchange blows back towards the entrance while near the ring, Tyler is dealing with Ned with some right hands. Ned is backed up towards the ropes and Tyler comes in with a charge, which Ned avoids and counters by way of a knee to the gut. With Tyler winded, Ned turns the pop wannabee around and lands a right of his own, draping Tyler against the ropes and making him a stationary target for a charge. Unfortunately for The Handsome Hustler, Tyler's idea of stationary is different from many people's and he ducks his head, backdropping Ned over the top and into the ring. Still, Ned manages to land on his feet and when Bryant tries to a shoulder, he ends up crashing headfirst into Ned's knee! Tyler lies draped over the middle rope as Ned drives in an elbow for good measure before going to the nearest corner and climbing to the middle rope, facing Tyler.

BLANCHARD
We are rolling... aaaaaand ACTIO...

*UGH!*

"YYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Ned's spiel is cut off by Shayne Brave and a firm punch to the gut which pre-empts any leap from The Handsome Hustler. For a moment Shayne thinks to check on his partner, but Ned reaches out for him so Shayne fires off a punch...and again...a third and Ned almost topples back and over the rope, barely clinging on to his seated position. Shayne then clambers up the buckles on the outside and perches on the top rope. With his left arm, Shayne hooks a 3/4 facelock and looks to drive Ned with a Hamachan Cutter. Ned has other ideas though, blocking. So does Simon Singleton. Only, he doesn't block...


*SLAP!*

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

...instead jogging down the aisle and CHOPPING Showtime across the shoulder blades.

CABOOSE
That's just a nasty thing to have done to you. Stings for days, trust me.

Shayne is now in a precarious position and steps carefully onto the sagging middle rope. Stepping into the ring, Simon gives Tyler a quick kick before hooking up Shayne and bringing him into the ring with a suplex...only to drop him back forward and hang him on the top rope, above Tyler who's still on the middle. D*LUX are stacked like a Orio as Ned regains his balance on the middle rope, Simon holding their opponents in place. Leaving the talk out this time, Ned then stands and comes flying off the middle, with a legdrop across the back of Shayne's head, which in turn comes down on Tyler too!!

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
Incredible!! Two for the price of one for Ned Blanchard!! That legdrop sent Shayne Brave's forehead CRASHING into the back of Tyler's head!

COACH
That's what we in the biz' call a double feature!

The ropes bounce Shayne back and out of the ring, on the ramp where he holds his head. Tyler remains draped on the middle rope which an equally throbbing head. But together The Beverly Hills Blonds drag him off and into the centre of the ring, where Singleton makes the pin...


1...






2...






KICKOUT!

Tyler only just kicks out, which would be a relief to Jade Rodez, if she wasn't busy stalking Mackenzie up the ramp. Referee Billy Silverman calls for them to get back to the ring, while keeping half an eye on the Blonds as they pull Tyler up for a double team.

COACH
And here's why Ned and Simon are the champs right here, some polished tag team wrestling.

A double whip by The Blonds sets Tyler up. On the rebound, Ned presses Tyler up into the air and guides him down across the knee with an elevated gutbuster, before getting swiftly out of the way. That's because Singleton has hit the ropes and is charging in, lunging forward with a knee that catches Tyler in the side of the head, and hard!

COACH
Excellent stuff! That's why they're the first men to win the Tag Titles together in the OAOAST and in HI-YAH!

COLE
Although, they won the HI-YAH belts in the OAOAST.

COACH
Doesn't matter. They made history, their names will go down on the OAOAST's Tag Team Walk Of Fame...if such a thing existed.

Attempting to gain control, Silverman looks for one in one out and gets it, Ned leaving the ring while Simon hooks a leg with a pin...


1...






2...





Kickout!

Jade now returns to the ring and checks on Shayne, Mackenzie sneaking down the ramp and going to her corner on the opposite side of the ring. And with that, we've stumbled upon a regular tag format. Hooray!

In the ring, Simon swaggers back up and encourages Tyler to his feet, waiting on him with a right hand. Two more leaving Tyler rocking and give Simon chance to hit the ropes, soaring with a flying lariat that floors "Tremendous" Tyler. And the combination of Mackenzie's OTT applause and Simon's mugging for the cameras earns him a sound booing.

COLE
It says a lot when that man is the least concieted of your trio.

Wrapping a front facelock on Tyler, Simon guides the Tremendous One back to his feet, controlling his opponent while Ned Blanchard tags himself in. Simon exposes the gut for a boot from Ned, who then turns back to the D*LUX corner and blows a kiss in Jade Rodez's direction! A clearly disgusted Jade turns away from the Handsome Hustler, who goes back to the boots on Tyler. Boot after boot, stomp after stomp rain down on Tyler before finally referee Silverman steps in. Unfortunately though, as he does so he guides Ned over towards D*LUX's corner. Ned blows another kiss to Jade and finally Shayne Brave has had enough and enters the ring, but that merely serves to distract Silverman and allow Singleton to sneak in with some stomps of his own!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COLE
And now look at this...THIS is why Ned and Simon won the OAOAST and HI-YAH Tag Team Titles, cheap tactics like this!

COACH
Ease up Mikey. Ned's just feeling a little frisky with Jade in his eyeline, that's all. He's an emotional man.

COLE
He's a sleazeball.

Finally Silverman gains control and as Simon sneaks back to the apron, it's Ned back on the offense. Pulling Tyler up, Ned whips him off into the ropes and lands a back elbow. Quick cover by Ned...



1...






2...


And a quick kickout. Shooing away the referee, Ned again drags Tyler up with a handful of hair and scoops him up, bringing him down across the knee with another gutbuster. Tyler groans in pain as the confident Blanchard shoves him onto his back and DEMANDS a count...



1...






2...






Kickout!

COLE
Blanchard with the quick covers, keeping the pressure on the youngster.

COACH
Oh he wants the win bad, [i]real bad[/i]. The sooner Ned can put this kid away the sooner the month starts. Look at Ned Mikey, he can smell Ja...uhm...'it'. He can smell 'it'. It being the victory.

CABOOSE
Good cover, pervy.

Ned and Simon make the exchange with the Handsome Hustler firing Simon up with a slap across the chest, 
testosterone running wild. Taking this encouragement in his stride, Simon thwarts any hopes Tyler had of reaching for a tag, pulling him towards the Beverly Hills corner and into a swift back suplex. Backing into his corner, the second rope is Simon's next destination, waiting on Tyler to get back up. However "Tremendous" Tyler doesn't play into Singleton's hands and instead begins to crawl away towards a tag. Thinking quickly, Ned slaps Simon on the back and tags himself in, rushing in to stomp Tyler. Simon remains on the middle rope, so Ned quickly diverts referee Silverman to the D*LUX corner, before hitting a backbreaker on Tyler. He then keeps Bryant draped over the knee, while Simon soars off the middle with an elbow to flip Bryant off the knee and on his head on the canvas!

COLE
Devestation Device!

COACH
It's like their music says, pain and destruction are their middle names!

CABOOSE
No it doesn't! Their music says 'you can call me any, any time'.

Shooing his partner out, Blanchard now calls over Silverman as he makes the cover...



1...






2...





SAVE BY SHAYNE!

MACKENZIE
Places people, places!

COACH
Yeah, places people! I swear, these extras think they can go wherever they please.

As if Brave wasn't frustrated enough he's now escorted back to the corner, his pleas for the referee to turn around and see Ned Blanchard's blatant choke falling on deaf, uninterested ears. And by the time Shayne is out and Silverman is in position, the wily veteran Blanchard is doing nothing more sinister than tagging in his partner. Singleton and Blanchard take an arm apiece and send Tyler off into the ropes. Jade's relatively short reach means she misses the blind tag, as Tyler rebounds away from his partners and towards his opponents. Drop toehold by Ned, followed up with an elbow from Simon! Patented New, New Midni...uhm, Beverly Hills Blonds.

"LET'S GO TY - LER!"
"LET'S GO TY - LER!"
"LET'S GO TY - LER!"
"LET'S GO TY - LER!"

Backing into the ropes again, Simon leaves his tag partners to try and silence the crowd, concentrating instead on dropping a leg down across the back of the head! Simon stays sat after the legdrop, distracted by Ned who has ran across the apron and into his eyeline. And making weird hand motions. Weird hand motions only Simon seems to understand.

SINGLETON
TAKE TWO!

*BAM!*

Simon lifts the leg and slams it across the back of the head again like a clapboard.

SINGLETON
TAKE THREE!

*BAM!*

And again!

COLE
Re-diculous.

This punnery provides great amusement for Simon and Ned who laugh away uproariously, embracing either side of the ropes and earning themselves screams of derision from the fans. Mackenzie's applause starts almost as uproarious as the laughter. But slowly she stops and turns to panic, screaming at Ned and Simon to turn around, as Tyler has fought to his feet, dropkicking Simon in the back which causes Ned to plummet to the arena floor!

"YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
I guess they haven't brushed off all of Jim Cornette's bad habits just yet after all!

Horror struck, Simon holds his hands up in despair and apology. But he should be more worried about what waits behind him, as with a hand pinned to his neck Tyler waits. Slowly Singleton turns and he soon regrets doing so as Tyler meets him with a right hand. A second. Three, four, five, six and it's officially a flurry, people! Tyler eventually halts and whips Singleton across the ring, ducking the head ready for a backdrop. Seeing this coming a mile off it's a simple matter for Simon of putting on the brakes a landing a boot to the chest to snap Tyler upright. Confidence refound, Simon then comes with a clothesline...


...but Tyler rolls underneath and dives with a tag to Shayne Brave!

"YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
And there's the tag!

COACH
That part's going to end up on the cutting room floor...

COLE
Would you STOP with the puns already!

Scurrying to the top, the fresh "Showtime" Shayne is able to reach the top before Simon can turn and waits on him with a missile dropkick! Simon is rolled to his feet by the momentum and takes a standing dropkick, also putting him down. Up to the apron comes Ned now, but Shayne spots him and a forearm drops Ned back to his far from adoring public on the floor. Fired up, the young teeny bopper points a finger down at Ned with some non-threatening trash talk, distracting him momentarily. But not momentarily enough...or momentarily enough for his liking...as Singleton sprints in only to get backdropped over the top and to the floor! The Beverly Hills Blonds collect themselves on the floor as Shayne now rallies the crowd into some rhythmical clapping before bursting across the ring, hitting the ropes...


*SLAP!*

COLE
Blind tag by Jade!


...and rushing back with a NO HANDS PLANCHA, wiping out the Blonds in one fair swoop!

"YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

The three bodies on the floor pile up, but all eyes are now on the ring as Jade Rodez steps in. Panicking, Mackenzie tries to get away...but Jade catches her before she can disembark from the apron and beils her over the top, into the ring to a HUGE pop!

COLE
Alright! We're gonna see the ladies get it on again to the delight of this crowd!

COACH
And this announcer!

Growling, teeth gritted, Jade grabs hold of Mackenzie's blond hair and yanks her to her feet despite pleas for mercy. Jade lands a forearm! And another! A third and Mackie is wobbling, only her long locks preventing her from falling to the ground. Grabbing the arm, Jade executes an irish whip and sends Mackenzie crashing into the corner, then follows in with the Double Knees~!

COACH
Oh no, don't do that to them!

COLE
Them?

COACH
Her!

CABOOSE
Her?

COACH
...okay, I meant them! Breasts are people too you know!

Winded, Mackenzie stumbles out into a scoop and a slam. Not the prettiest, but effective enough. Hey, she's green. Green or not though, Jade's got a lot of passion and pulls Mackenzie up to dish out some more punishment. A crisp forearm puts Mackie back on her ass and Jade shoves her down, ready to make the cover. Only trouble is, she's not the legal person for her team.


Mind you, neither is Ned Blanchard, but that doesn't stop him from rolling into the ring and grabbing two handfuls of Jade's hair.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

COLE
Oh no! There's no need for this Ned, put her down!

COACH
Hey, it's all legal.

COLE
Legal sure, but it doesn't make it moral!

Jade looks horrified and justifiably so, fearing a beating from Ned. It's not so much as on Neddy's mind though as he drags Jade up. No anger. No determination. In fact, the Handsome Hustler is smiling, going so far as to lick his lips as he brings Jade around face to face with him. At which point, looking to get out of Ned's greasy clutches, Jade tucks her head and drops Ned with a Jawbreaker!

"YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Complaining to Silverman that he's bit his tongue, Ned begs for a timeout from his potential slave. No dice is answer from Jade though, cupping Ned around the back of the head and NAILING him with a forearm strike!

COLE
I'm sure Ned's been hit by plenty of women in this time but I doubt he's ever been that hard by the female of the species!

Jade is feeling that fire so usually absent from her brother's mindset and slams a second forearm across Blanchard's jaw! And with the crowd right behind her, Jade lands forearm number three. Unfortunately for her though, this one returns the smile back to Ned's face, that lurid, lock me up I'm a pervert smile.


BLANCHARD
Come on baby, you're just giving me a hard on!


JADE
:O

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

COACH
HA! AHAHA! YES, YES!

COLE
That's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard!

For a moment, Jade is understandably taken aback. But as Ned gives the licks another big ol' lick, J-Ro decides to check the validity of Ned's statement...




...WITH THE BALL CLAW~!~!~!

BLANCHARD
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

COACH
NOOOOOOOO!!

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Ned writhes around in the dreaded ball claw, actually jumping around in pain which probably isn't doing much good as Jade continues to squeeze his testicles in the hope of rendering them usless, for the good of the entire female human race. The yelps for mercy are ignored by Jade, who is probably enjoying herself a little too much. Looking to put an end to all this is Simon Singleton as he slides into the ring and charges at Jade, looking to wipe the 18 year old out with a double axehandle. But Jade simply pulls Ned in (by the balls, yo) the way and causes the Beverly Hills Blonds to inadvertantly clock heads! Shayne Brave slides back in and takes Singleton out of the ring with a Cactus clothesline, again leaving Jade alone with Ned in the ring.

CABOOSE
I doubt this is what Ned had in mind when he thought this slavery stipulation up. It might have been, he's a sick puppy, but I do doubt it.

Nursing his unmentionables, Ned pulls himself to his feet and has had ENOUGH~!, charging Jade with a clothesline. Jade ducks the arm however, catching Ned on the way back around with a boot to the gut before planting him with a shock DDT!

"YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Rather than go for the cover, for some reason Jade rolls Ned back over onto his front. Grabbing the legs, Jade then folds one over the other like an upside down figure four. Lacing a hand in between, Jade then elevates and locks on the Condo Clutch (Inverted Texas Cloverleaf) to the delight of the fans!!

COLE
Jade Rodez using every bit of her wrestling experience and she's got Ned tied up!

COACH
Where the hell did she learn that!?!

COLE
And let's be clear, if Ned taps out to Jade then D*LUX win the titles! Wouldn't that just be the perfect ending?

Indeed it would. But Blanchard, despite obvious pain, hasn't given up yet and has enough of a weight advantage to begin to crawl towards the ropes. Jade doesn't have the height to really elevate Ned to a position to make up for the power differential and thus, Ned can make the ropes...





...or, would, if not for a Top Rope Legdrop from "Tremendous" Tyler to the back of the head! Jade quickly dumps the submission attempt and instead rolls Ned over with a pin, Tyler gleefully leading the crowd with the count...



1...








2...








3-
NO!

"OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
Damnit, so close! Ned almost got beat by a girl!

Tyler now helps Jade to pick Ned back up, the unlikely duo looking for an unlikely double team. However Ned is able to fend Tyler off with a headbutt to the gut and manages to pieface Jade down, out of the way. Ned then runs through Tyler with a clothesline that sends The Tremendous One out of the ring and to the floor, deflating the crowd.

And putting Jade in a whole lot of trouble.

COLE
Uh-oh...I think Ned's had enough of the games.

CABOOSE
No kidding, she needs to run and run long because Blanchard isn't going to mess about this time.

Now it's Jade's turn to beg off but Ned is having none of it, keeping his nether regions out of reach as he grabs the hair and drags her up to his feet.

"LET'S GO JADE!"
"LET'S GO JADE!"
"LET'S GO JADE!"
"LET'S GO JADE!"

Surprisingly, Ned doesn't resort to hitting a woman. Instead, he looks her into a front facelock and prepares to hit the Slingshot Suplex, only slightly less immoral. Jade tries to get free but Ned's a strong guy and he's able to hold her at bay, grabbing Jade's special b-ball shorts and lifting her up, looking to guide her onto the ropes...





...SMALL PACKAGE...



1...



COLE
JADE'S GOT NED!




2...




COLE
JADE'S GOT NED!




THR-

NED REVERSES THE PIN!



1...







2...





Tyler is held by the leg by Mackenzie DeCenzo, unable to reach to where Ned has Jade packaged up. And Jade simply isn't strong enough to escape...





3!!!!!!!


"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"


COLE
NO! 

COACH
YES!

COLE
NOOOOOOOO!

COACH
YES! NED'S GOT JADE, NED'S GOT JADE...NED'S GOT JADE, FOR A WHOLE MONTH BABY!!

Both Ned and Jade come out of the pin and to their knees, both in shock and disbelief. Jade in disbelief that she just blew her team's shot at the HI-YAH Titles and at the month ahead. Ned in disbelief that his wildest dreams are now going to come true.

COLE
I don't believe this.

COACH
Believe it! Believe it Mikey, believe it! Mama Rodez, cancel the allowance and clear out the bedroom because little Jade's gonna become a woman this month, haha!

COLE
You are sick! You're as sick as Blanchard is damnit!


BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... the team of MACKENZIE DECENZO and STILL the HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions, THE BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

BUFFER
And as a result of the pre-match stipulation, Jade Rodez will now be the legally binding slave of Ned Blanchard for 30 Days.

The sombre tone of Buffer's announcement tells the story as the crowd remain quiet, the enormity of the situation dawning on them as Jade sinks to the mat with her head in her hands. Both Tyler and Shayne look dejected on the floor as Simon and Mackenzie roll in to congratulation Ned. But Ned isn't concerned with that, brushing his partners away. D*LUX come in and look to console their distraught manageress, but Ned storms up to his feet and pushes them out of the way, delighting in shouting that "She's my property now, boys!" Reaching down, Blanchard then grabs Jade by the wrist and brings her to her feet, ignoring the tears welling up in the youngest Rodez sibling's eyes as he pushes her chin up...AND PLANTS A SMACKER, RIGHT ON THE LIPS!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Tyler and Shayne try to step in but they're held back by Silverman and before they know it, Ned has whisked Jade out of the ring and is dragging her up the ramp. The poor young lady is in floods of tears with Singleton laughing away and carrying the belts, Mackenzie putting the badmouth on her while Ned looks at her with pure depravity in his eyes. And all Tyler and Shayne can do is watch on, powerless.

COLE
This is wrong. Jade Rodez tried to take up the responsibility and take Ned on, but she put herself in position to get pinned. It was a naive move and it's cost both herself and D*LUX big.

CABOOSE
Ironic, huh? Her brother's mister cool, calm and collected and yet Jade lets her emotions get the better of her like that.

COLE
This is going to be a long month. We're not going to hear the end of this for a long time I'm afraid.