HD: Body Shop

[King Cucaracha 0]

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**JUST PRETEND THIS HAPPENED AT SCHOOL'S OUT~!**
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COACH
Hey, what was that sound...sounded like a satellite malfunction.

CABOOSE
Oh, shut up.

COACH
No, seriousl...

CABOOSE
Don't make me get the bat.

COLE
Alright folks, we're in for a treat next here at School's Out because our colleague and good friend...

CABOOSE
He's not your friend. Don't lie about stuff like that. Don't make me get the bat.

COLE
...our good friend Jesse "The Body" Ventura is standing by and who better to get the scoop on the situation involving Christian Wright and his, presumably, former bodyguard Bohemoth. We haven't seen either man since OAOAST Syndicated where the two had a major falling out, both have been kept from the arenas and been placed on alternate house show schedules in recent weeks to prevent any conflicts. And we hope to get our first comments on the issue here tonight, from Christian Wright. So, it's over to you Jess'.


[SIZE=6][COLOR=purple]
'~}-THE BODY SHOP-{~'
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VENTURA
Michael Cole, I'm still Hollywood baby. You're not wealthy enough to be The Body's friend.

COACH
HA!

VENTURA
Ladies and gentlemen, this the Body Shop and I don't need to waste time with nicesties. I don't need to put myself over, like certain another little kid with his own little talk show that I could mention. But I'm not gonna waste time on him. It's the Body Rules and it's my way or the highway! So with that said, lets get this thing going. Ladies and gentlemen, my guest tonight, the 2005 OAOAST Rookie Of The Year... "The Natural" Christian WRIGHT!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

[i]*BREEEAAAK!*[/i]

The newly acquired theme music "Tear Away" by Drowning Pool hits as the casually attired frame of Christian Wright appears through the entrance, head held high despite the hostile reaction he's recieving. Christian looks out into the crowd with disdain (yep, I finally bought a dictionary and learnt how to spell it) and shakes his head at what he sees as he takes a detour from the ramp and down some handy steps, to where The Body Shop set has been specially set up. The fans around the stage continue to hurl abuse at CW as he shakes hands with The Body.

"BO - HE - MOTH!"
"BO - HE - MOTH!"
"BO - HE - MOTH!"
"BO - HE - MOTH!"

The chants start up early and Wright seems immediately flustered by them. Pacing around the set, Wright tries to focus on something other than the fans, which isn't really helping too much.

VENTURA
Okay Christian, before we get to the questions, first I wanna show you and these people what happened at OAOAST Syndicated. Roll the footage.


[QUOTE]Grabbing a pitcher of water from the timekeeper's table, Bohemoth slides back into the ring. His partner is still down and seemingly still KOed, Nick Patrick trying to bring him back to his sense. Bo shoves Patrick away though and simply tips the pitcher of ice cold water over Christian's face, which wakes him up...and then some. Sitting up and shaking himself back to life, Wright climbs to his feet. And to say he doesn't appreciate Bohemoth's gesture would be an understatement, wiping the freezing water from his eyes and GLARING at his partner! Wet, cold and beaten, Wright runs a hand over his head as Bohemoth throws the empty pitcher away.

WRIGHT
WHERE WERE YOU?

BOHEMOTH
He hi...

WRIGHT
WHERE WERE YOU, WHENCE I REQUIRED YOU! YOU ABANDONED ME!

COLE
What the hell is Wright talking about? He was the one that got pinned!

Bohemoth tries to reason with CW, trying to calm him down at the same time.

"CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!"
"CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!"
"CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!"

That doesn't help.

WRIGHT
TIME AFTER TIME, WEEK AFTER WEEK! YOU CONSPIRE TO RUIN MY BEST LAID PLANS WITH YOUR INCEASANT INCOMPETENCE! THIS WAS TO BE OUR NIGHT! OUR CHAMPIONSHIP GLORY! AND YET, ONCE MORE, YOU'VE QUASHED MY DREAMS! YOU'VE RUINED IT! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? ARE YOU SATISFIED
[b]*SLAP~!*[/b]

"OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"


COLE
Oh, MY!

COACH
Aw no Chris, what are you doin' man!?!

Bohemoth reels back a step and clutches his cheek, as shocked as everyone else who's watching. Despite the slap, Wright is still raging on. Only now, he can't be heard, over the encouragement of the crowd for The Meterosexual Monster to do something about it. Running his tongue across the inside of his cheek, there's little change in Bohemoth's usual expression. Calm. Calculated.



*WHAM!*

"YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COACH
NOOOOOOO!!

COLE
FRONT SPINEBUSTER! BOHEMOTH HAS HAD ENOUGH AND HE JUST DRILLED HIS MENTOR WITH THE FRONT SPINEBUSTER! GOOD FOR YOU BO, GOOD FOR YOU!

A number of the fans are standing with their thumbs pointing south, hoping for Bohemoth to put another exclamation point on the parting of ways. But Bohemoth doesn't see them, staring down at Wright. Staring down at the man who plucked him from obscurity, trained him up...and now, disrespected...and then turns away, finally stepping out of his former partner's shadow and into the light.

COLE
I think we've just seen how much Bohemoth take as much as he possibly could take and finally, he's done something about Christian Wright and his disrespect! And it's about damn time too!

"BO - HE - MOTH!"
"BO - HE - MOTH!"
"BO - HE - MOTH!"
"BO - HE - MOTH!"

Bo leaves the ring in a very different manner than he arrived, patted on the back by the fans. Walking down the aisle, Bo doesn't turn back until he reaches the curtain, Wright still out in the middle of the ring, not seeing Bo flexing TEH GUNZ~! for his newfound fans.[/QUOTE]

We come back live...

"BO - HE - MOTH!"
"BO - HE - MOTH!"
"BO - HE - MOTH!"
"BO - HE - MOTH!"

...and there's the chants again.

VENTURA
I think the footage speaks for itself there Christian. The question I wanna know is, is this the end of the road for Christian Wright and Bohemoth as a team?

"YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

WRIGHT
As you so correctly stated Mister Ventura, that particular footage does speak volumes. And after the heinous backstabbing perpetrated by my former associate, it would take considerable apology to sway my favour.

VENTURA
I'm gonna take that as a yes. Now, before you two had that falling out there'd been a lot of tension on both sides, because you two have been on one hell of a losing streak together. Do you think this split will be a good thing for you two or the final nail in your coffins...after all, you are the OAOAST Rookie Of The Year and you've failed to live up to that billing.

Running a hand across his head, Wright is agitated by The Body's straight cutting questioning.

WRIGHT
Recent performances have merely been a blip on my record. My status as OAOAST Rookie Of The Year, awarded to me by the general public who secretly respect me but yet outwardly belittle my abilities I wish to remind, cannot be taken away from me, merely because of mishaps not of my doing. Need I remind you, I was proud holder of HI-YAH's World Heavyweight Championship belt and still would be to this day, where it not for Bohemoth's failure to restrain one Ms. Krista Isadora Duncan. Need I remind you Governor Ventura that I had the vaunted Love Doctors' HI-YAH World Tag Team Title reign clasped firmly within my hands, until Bohemoth bungled our attempts up by failing to recognise the rules of the contest. And need I remind you that the key ingredient of tag team wrestling is teamwork? Teamwork sorely lacking when Bohemoth left me unassisted, handicapped numerically against the combnation of The Heavenly Rockers at the aforementioned Syndicated telecast!

VENTURA
Woah woah woah! Lemme get this straight, Wright...you're blaming all your troubles on Bohemoth?

WRIGHT
I merely state this...without Bohemoth, the star of Christian Wright shall shine brighter than ever. However, the same cannot be said for my departed partner. Without a bumbling ignoramus providing my assistance I am confident that where-as this year I was awarded Rookie Of The Year, within six months I shall be under consideration for the accolade of outright Wrestler Of The Year!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

VENTURA
I dunno kid, these fans don't seem to take your point of view. I get the feeling they think that their Rookie Of The Year vote would have been better off cast for Bohemoth.

"BO - HE - MOTH!"
"BO - HE - MOTH!"
"BO - HE - MOTH!"
"BO - HE - MOTH!"

WRIGHT
Mere asthetics may appear more immediately pleasing to the untrained eye than technical ability, but the truth shall out. Jesse, you became reknowned for your aesthetic appearance during your successful career. But you more than anyone realise a body without brains serves no meaningful purpose. Your body did not procure you the title Governor of Minnesota. You have both significant brains and impressive brawn.

VENTURA
That is true.

WRIGHT
See, Bohemoth lacks that crucial first attribute. He lacks brains. His mental accument pales in comparison to mine. That simple fact ensures while my career shall flurish, without my brains behind him, Bohemoth shall soon become a distant memory in the minds of these people. And in our respective career, I promise you this OAOAST patrons...the ends shall justify the means.

VENTURA
Alright then, ladies and gentlemen, Chri...


*BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!*

"YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Understandably Wright is shocked to hear the rather crude intro to the rather crude "Liberate" by Disturbed cues up. And, understandably, he's even more shocked as none other than his former bodyguard 'The Meterosexual Monster' Bohemoth steps out in as snappy of a suit as you're ever likely to see, adjusting his collar before jogging down the steps leading to the set. All of a sudden, Wright isn't quite so cocksure of himself at the sight of this angry six foot seven...well, bohemoth.

VENTURA
Well bigman, I guess you've got something to say?

Panicking, Wright tries to skulk off into the background, as Bohemoth is handed a microphone by Ventura. Bohemoth smiles wryly and lowers his tinted sunglasses as he looks out at the fans. Keeping the glasses lowered, Bo turns his attentions to Wright who stands at the opposite end of the interview stage, looking around nervously for a quick exit.

BOHEMOTH
Unlike you, I'm a man of few words, so I'm gonna make this nice and simple. You. Me. Great Angle Bash.

*PHHFFT!*

"YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Bohemoth throws down the microphone and storms back off the set, leaving Christian to stand and watch with hands on his head despairingly. Cool as the proverbial, figurative cucumber, Bohemoth doesn't so much as give a second look back as he disappears through the curtains.

VENTURA
Well, that was a bit of a turn-up huh? Christian Wright challenged to a match at The Great Angle Bash by his former bodyguard Bohemoth. I've earnt my paycheck, so that's the Body Shop, back to The C Squad at ringside!