King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted July 4, 2006 JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WAS FRIKKIN' HOT ENOUGH ALREADY... [COLOR=orange][SIZE=5]ANGLESLAM 2006~![/SIZE][/COLOR] AUGUST 27, 2006 LIVE! ONLY ON PAY-PER-VIEW! CALL YOUR LOCAL CABLE OR SATELLITE PROVIDER TO ORDER NOW! We return back to Madison Square Garden and to the thousands of fans crammed into the country's most historic wrestling arena, ready for our multi man main event of the evening. COLE And tonight's Independence Day festivities come to a close next with the ultimate battle of independence, the 16 Person BattleBowl Battle Royal! Eight tag team matches down and eight teams remain, but those teams are now out of the window. Only one OAOAST superstar can win and go on to AngleSlam to challenge for the World Heavyweight Championship, making it every man, plus one woman, for themselves! COACH Political correctness gone mad! COLE Looking at the line-up, we've got 6 survivors from last year's battle royal. Brock Ausstin, Peter Knight, PRL, Leon Rodez, Drek Stone and of course Hoff were involved last year, with Drek, Leon and Hoff comprising the final three. We've got 5 former OAOAST World Champions... Knight, Drek and Hoff, plus Tony Brannigan and Crystal. And we've got a lot of potential World Champions in contention. COACH Oh, no doubt. Any of the fifteen would be viable challengers. COLE But...there's sixteen... COACH Come on, you don't buy Mister Warrior in the main event of AngleSlam do ya? Knowingly, Cole shrugs his shoulders, causing Coach to mildly freak out at the prospect of losing his job via abysmal buyrates. COLE Stranger things have happened. But just out of interest and as we get the Cage out of the way Coach, who's your money on here tonight? COACH Me? I gotta go with Hoff. COLE Really, two years in a row? COACH Yeah. He knows what it takes to win BattleBowl. And last year, he did it solo, this year he's got Drek watching his back. You heard them on Thursday night, they sounded confident, they sounded focused, they sounded like winners! COLE Well they can't both win. Eventually they'd have to fight each other...so, you're saying Hoff is better than Drek? COACH Wel...I me...look, don't be putting words into my mouth, getting me heat with the boys! Who do you think is gonna win hotshot? COLE Judging from his comments at The Great Angle Bash, I think Peter Knight has got the fire and the determination unlike no-one else in the Battle Royal. And I for one would love to see another meeting between PK and Alfdogg over the World Heavyweight Title. After what happened at School's Out, imagine how crazy that would be! With the Cage now safely removed, we're apparantly set to go as "Seven Nation Army" by The White Stripes hits, the neutral music to bring out all the combatants in this Battle Royal. One by one, the sixteen trudge out, lead by Peter Knight. Next comes Tony Brannigan, Tha Puerto Rican, Crystal, Brock Ausstin, Bohe...oh, wait, Mister Warrior just ran past. Him too. Then Bohemoth. Longdogger Pete, followed by Todd Cortez and Bruce Blank who are discussing strategy on the way. Behind them comes Thunderkid, then Otaku II and Leon Rodez. A brief gap is created, before the monstrous Gibraltar strides out. And finally bringing up the rear are Drek Stone and Hoff, conversing and looking with some trepidation at the 7 foot plus monster in front. COACH I think I just changed my pick. The fourteen ahead enter the ring and collect around the ropes, a few vengeful looks being exchanged before all heads turn. Gibraltar walks up the ring steps and enters over the top rope, everybody giving him a wide birth as he strides into the centre of the ring, looking around stoicly. Drek and Hoff decide to take their time, waiting at the bottom of the ramp, despite protests from the referees. COLE Okay, so is this how Drek and Hoff intend to last through the battle royal? COACH Hey why not, seems smart to me. COLE They've got to get in the ring Coach... *DINGDINGDING!* COACH You were saying? With everybody having places to be, the referees decide not to hold proceedings up any longer and ring the bell, despite Drek and Hoff loitering around ringside. But unlike most Battle Royals, the bell doesn't spark action. Everyone seems reluctant to make the first move, as Gibraltar stands tall in the centre of the ring, waiting for someone to challenge him. Nobody does, until the dumbest of the thirteen steps up. Mister Warrior does a quick 360, pumping his fists in the air before clotheslining Gibraltar. But not budging him an inch. Warrior doesn't seem to notice or care as he does a couple of laps around the monster, the other battle royalers all watching on in bemusement, as the Warrior charges in again...and gets caught with one, massive hand! Despite being choked, Warrior continues to punch the air, until Gibraltar hoists him up and almost snaps him in half with a mighty Chokebreaker!! COLE Oh, MY! Reaching down, Gibraltar slowly pulls Mister Warrior off the mat. Locking on a gutwrench, he then glares across the ring to prompt Otaku, Thunderkid and Crystal to step aside. Gibraltar then hoists Warrior up and walks across the ring, towards the unguarded ropes, which he dumps Mister Warrior over, bringing him down face-first across the ring apron with a Dominator!!! "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Told ya! COLE My God, Gibraltar just destroyed Mister Warrior, one of the most destructifyering men in all of OAOAST history! COACH He goozled him, then pushed him into a pit of oblivion! [b][i]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MISTER WARRIOR LEFT: 1st ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Gibraltar LEFT IN RING: 15 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/i][/b] Gibraltar glares down at Mister Warrior as he quivers on the arena floor, before finally turning around...into an ambush! Literally EVERYONE in the ring piles over and tries to get a shot in on Gibraltar, 12 on 1 odds that even this 7 foot giant can't hope to overcome! COLE The classic strategy of going after the biggest man in the Battle Royal first, coming into full effect. But I don't think I've ever seen twelve on one before! Gibraltar tries to fight back against this onslaught, laying out Otaku II and Todd Cortez with right hands. But as soon as he puts two down, another wave of wrestlers hits him. Brock Ausstin and Bohemoth lead the way, Bruce Blank just slugging away wildly, connecting with anything in front of him. Which isn't neccessarily Gibraltar, earning him a few cautionary shoves. COLE How in the hell is Gibraltar still standing, let alone trying to push these guys off!? COACH He's not human! He's not human I tell's ya! They leave the work to everyone else, as Brock and Bo now each have a leg of the monster. Gibraltar clubs down, trying to fight them off. However, Bruce grabs at an arm and both Tony Brannigan and Longdogger Pete follow suit, keeping Gibraltar from having free limbs to fight with. The five then push forward and force Gibraltar back against the ropes, other joining in with shoves. At the back of the mob, Crystal and PRL seem to be keeping clear of trouble. And eventually, they manage to pick Leon Rodez out of the group, grabbing him by the tights and pulling him into an ambush of their own! Spotting this out of the corner of his eye, Thunderkid dives in and goes after PRL, as Crystal puts the boots to the man who took the 24/7 Title from her 9 days ago. Everyone else is focused on Gibraltar though. And together, the remaining eight bundle in and begin to lift him up! Gibraltar is struggling, but the odds are still too great. COLE He's going! He's going! With no way of reaching out for the ropes, Gibraltar's height advantage becomes a dis-advantage as he teeters over the top... ...the legs being tipped by Cortez and Knight... ...and eventually... ...HE TUMBLES OVER THE TOP, LANDING ON HIS FEET BUT EXITING BATTLEBOWL NONETHELESS!! COLE HE'S GONE! COACH :O COLE The biggest obstacle and the biggest threat in the entire Battlebowl is gone! [b][i]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ GIBRALTAR LEFT: 2nd ELIMINATED: Mister Warrior ELIMINATED BY: Bohemoth, Brock Ausstin, Bruce Blank, Longdogger Pete, Otaku II, Peter Knight, Todd Cortez and Tony Brannigan LEFT IN RING: 14 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/i][/b] As soon as the bigman is eliminated, Hoff and Drek collectively decide now is the time to enter the ring. And collectively they slide in, going right after Tony Brannigan as he turns around, Hoff tackling him to the ground while Drek throws some wild punches at the falling foe. COLE Look at this, like a pack of damn wolves! Blank and Cortez jump Bohemoth now, Pete laying into Brock while the Heartland Champion shows his new-found confidence as he takes the fight to former World Champion Peter Knight! The Battle Royal has now taken a more familiar form as everybody 'pairs' off into their own battles, brawling away in their confined spaces, as referees now pile out from the back to try and convince Gibraltar to leave the ringside area. St. Andrew is out as well now, as the bigman doesn't seem to want to co-operate. COLE Well, with Gibraltar gone, the field is wide open. There's still some big guys in there, like Brock and Bohemoth, but no one real giant force like we saw last year with Gunner Sharps. COACH That's where Hoff and Drek have the advantage, they're two guys, not one. COLE Incisive as ever Coach. But what about Blank and Cortez? COACH Everybody hates them. COLE Everybody hates Drek and Hoff. COACH Yeah, but it's different. COLE Not much different. Rolling with the punches, Brock and Knight are backed off across opposite sides of the ring by Pete and Otaku respectively. But suddenly, they mount comebacks. Knight lunges forward and hooks Otaku off his feet with a big Lariat, while Brock catches Pete, tossing him overhead with a release belly to belly! With the Heartland Champion seeing stars, PK lays in some stomps, not realising what waits behind him. COLE Uh-oh...look at this face-off! COACH A lotta history here! Eventually Knight gets a sense that he's being stalked and looks over his shoulder, to see Brock staring him down and eventually encouraging him on. The crowd roar, ignoring the other brawls going on and focusing on the showdown in the centre. Knight squares up to Brock and words are exchanged, before PK makes the possible mistake of piefacing Brock! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Oh boy! In the background, Brannigan is in trouble at the hands of Drek and Hoff, who have hoisted T-Bod up onto the top rope and are trying to dump him out... ...as meanwhile, Brock snaps back to face Knight, balling up both fists. Knight dares Brock to take the first shot...and he does! But Knight fires right back! Right hand from Brock! Right hand from Knight! Brock! Knight! Brock! Knight! Bro...NO, Bruce! And Cortez! The two-thirds of The Wildcards bundle onto the scene and take the fight to two of the OAOAST's top contenders, to the vocal disappointment of the Madison Square Garden crowd. With Brock on his knees, Bruce rears back and slams a big cowboy boot into the side of the jaw to put him down. Beside him, Cortez fires off a couple of European Uppercuts on PK, before calling for Bruce and whipping Knight across, into a big boot from Blank! The former World Champion drops to the mat, drawing a smirk from Cortez. COLE Two thirds of the former 6-Man Tag Team Champions, working well together here. Could you imagine one of these two as the World Heavyweight Champion!? COACH That'd be the end of this place Mikey. COLE I don't know about that, but it'd be a bad, bad situation. COACH Hopefully it doesn't get that far. Smiling a wide, redneck grin, Blank looks around for another target to attack. Unfortunate athlete number one is Thunderkid, having mown through PRL with a clothesline, meets one in turn from The Trailerpark Messiah! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BLANK C'MON, IS THAT ALL YA'LL OATTOAST GOTS!? "SMART - MARK SUCKS!" "SMART - MARK SUCKS!" "SMART - MARK SUCKS!" "SMART - MARK SUCKS!" COLE AMEN! Blank's raging is directed at the crowd and earns him a round of boos. It also distracts him from the fact that Todd Cortez is flopping on the canvas like a fish behind him, thanks to a MURDERLINE~! from Bohemoth! And now, The Meterosexual Monster is standing behind Blank and waiting on him to turn around, ready to show him just what the OATTOAST gots. Blank hocks a loogie out towards ringside before turning around, that redneck sneer still etched on his face... *WHAM!* ...and wiped off, by a MURDERLINE~! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" As Bohemoth puts the boots to Blank, Tony Brannigan is fighting back. With right hands, Brannigan backs Drek and then Hoff up in turn before grabbing Drek by the head, preparing to throw him out of the ring...until Hoff jumps him, putting pay to that idea. Collecting himself and his partner, the reigning BattleBowl Champion then points out Brannigan and mouths to Drek to 'clobber him', joining hands with Stone before leading him in with a double clothesline. T-Bod sees the dynamic duo coming though, ducks underneath and then lays them both out with a double clothesline of his own! COLE Tony Brannigan getting a little sampler of what he intends on doing July 29th at Syndicated! Tony goes back on the offence as he picks Hoff up, barrelling him up over his shoulder and trying to dump him over the top. Frantically reaching for some help, Hoff finds none... ...however, he does manage to wrap his legs around the top rope, giving Drek time to come back and attack Tony from behind. COLE Last year's winner barely surviving there! COACH Like I said, he knows what it takes, it's his to win. Back across the ring, Tha Puerto Rican and Crystal are now teaming up on Rodez, stomping him down in the corner with PRL putting on his typical badmouth in the process. Cortez has now waded in to aid Blank against Bohemoth, which is earning him a few punches for his trouble. And now, Peter Knight is up, deciding to fight for the OAOAST's honour as he drags Cortez away into the centre of the ring, scooping him at the side and planting him with a sidewalk slam! That just leaves four now, as Thunderkid and Pete collect themselves and bring themselves back to their feet. The two turn to meet each other and plan on going after each other. Those plans are thwarted, however, by Brock Ausstin, who LAYS them out with a double clothesline!! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Wow, listen to these fans! COACH These people just wanna see destruction! COLE I don't know, I get the feeling these people want another Alf/Brock re-run. Brock wheels around, looking a little surprised at the crowd's reaction. But he doesn't concer himself with it, instead charging across the ring with the man who took his Heartland Title 9 days ago... ...AND BUNDLING HIM OVER THE TOP WITH A CLOTHESLINE!! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE And there goes Otaku, admittedly one of the long shots but a guy who's been on a good run recently. COACH So much for that. [b][i]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ OTAKU II LEFT: 3rd ELIMINATED: Gibraltar (co) ELIMINATED BY: Brock Ausstin LEFT IN RING: 13 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/i][/b] As Otaku tumbles to the arena floor, Brock turns back to the action. Thunderkid looks to catch him by surprise with a clothesline of his own, but the only surprise is on his part as Brock catches him coming in and lifts him up into a fireman's carry! Cue the crowd pop and a group of seventeen fans with seperate banners that spell it out better than I ever could. F S T U N N E R 5 ~ ! ! ! ! 1 ! ! COLE BAM! FStunner5! Brock is building momentum now and that's bad news for the other twelve in the ring! Next to his feet, Longdogger Pete stumbles in. Brock is waiting and again he hoists the oncoming body onto his mighty shoulders...FSTUNNER5~!1!!#1~! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Here Comes The Anguish~! COLE ... COACH Oh it's...it's something new I'm trying. You know, a cool tagline, something to hook the kids in. COLE That's real nice. Brock pops right back up. Snarl, growl, power-up... ...FRONT SPINEBUSTER!! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh, Bohemoth cuts off the tornado known as Brock Ausstin! It's Bohemoth's turn to pop right back up from an offensive manoeuvre as he surveys the damage around him. Cool as ever, Bo turns his back to it all, in time to spot Tha Puerto Rican growing a set and charging him. Spitting at his hand in mid run, PRL looks for a rare running spit punch...which Bohemoth blocks! And before PRL even has time to panic, he takes a big right to the mush! Something must have seeped into the water in the catering area, as now Crystal steps up and tests her luck, firing off a standing dropkick that brushes off of Bohemoth's chest, putting him back a step and no more. COLE Bad move missy! COACH You realise if she knew you called her missy, then pretty soon people could call you missy...if you catch my drift. COLE Actually, Missy was my nickname for 5 and a half months... COACH ... COLE ...High School was tough. Realising she had little effect, Crystal cowers from The Meterosexual Monster. But it's all a ploy, as it allows PRL to jump him from behind! Crystal then joins in the fun and this unlikely duo continues to act as just that, double teaming Bohemoth with clubbing forearms, overhand after overhand. Taking it upon himself to direct traffic PRL then tells Crystal to hold the bigman down while he hits the ropes. Crystal smiles and nods like a good little girl, as Tha Puerto Rican shoots into the ropes... ...and finds the good girl gone bad, running in with a dropkick... ...BUT PRL HANGS ONTO THE TOP ROPE, SWINGING HIMSELF BACK IN!! COACH See, that's why you should never trust a girl...even if she is smokin' hot. COLE Especially if she's smokin' hot. COACH True dat. PRL lands on the apron and looks in shock at Crystal, asking what he could have done to deserve that double cross. Predictably, The Crown Jewel of the OAOAST is flippant about what happened, unconcerned with how angry PRL is as he re-enters the ring and SHOVES her! Crystal seems momentarily shocked, but she quickly brushes it off and SHOVES PRL! The two former 24/7 Champions are all set to square up to each other. Until, of course, the current 24/7 Champion strolls over, arms folded as he watches on. Heads slowly turn to Rodez as he mimes eating some popcorn before encouraging Crystal and PRL to just go ahead and start slugging at each other. Instead, of course, they land a double boot to the gut and put aside their differences for the moment, to hook Leon up for a double suplex. On three, they lift...but Rodez floats over the top! PRL and Crystal whip around and Crystal charges, soaring through the air with a crossbody block... ...CAUGHT, by Bohemoth! PRL tries to play night in shining armour, but is cut off by an STO Backbreaker from Rodez... ...AS BOHEMOTH DEPOSITS CRYSTAL OUT TO RINGSIDE!! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" [b][i]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CRYSTAL LEFT: 4th ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Bohemoth LEFT IN RING: 12 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/i][/b] Smiling away, Rodez signals for Bo to give him 'sum skiiin' up high...but sooner than you can say 'dumb move, hotshot', Bohemoth declines Leon's offer of a high-five by mowing him down with a clothesline! "BOOOOOOOOO - YYEEAAA - OOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Ooh, some of the fans didn't appreciate that. COACH Too bad. It's every man for himself and if Leon's dumb enough to throw up a five in the middle of a battle royal, he gets what he deserves. Bohemoth strides away and looks to lend a hand to former rival Tony Brannigan, laying into fellow Spinebustaaah mark Hoff from behind. Elsewhere, Blank and Cortez have rallied back on Peter Knight now and are putting the beatdown on him in one corner of the ring. After a few kicks, The Urban Legend tells Bruce that he's got everything under control, so Bruce strolls away for some more action. Just at that point, Longdogger Pete has hoisted up fellow FStunner5 victim Thunderkid onto the top turnbuckle and is looking to dump him out of the match. Pete is the nearest body to Blank and looks in line for a sneak attack...until Blank turns away, almost inexplicably cutting down Brock Ausstin with a Lariat instead. COACH Woah! Woah! Did you see that!? COLE Yeah, big clothesli... COACH No dummy, Blank had a chance to go after Pete and he passed it up! Why the hell would he do that? COLE You're not suggesting they're in cahoots Coach, are you? COACH Come on dawg, blood is thicker than water! Pete's a respected guy over there, he was with the SWF for years. Are you telling me if it comes down to these Wildcards, Pete and some unlucky OAOAST schmoo that he won't side with his SWF boys? COLE Well, maybe Bruce thinks that, but I don't see any reason to doubt the Longdogger's motives. Thunderkid fights back of his own accord and gets rid of LDP, sending him stumbling across the ring. Rather than climbing down from the turnbuckles though, TK adjusts himself so that he's sitting on the top, perched and waiting for the stomping Bruce Blank to turn around. Having put enough sole to skin, Bruce laughs down at Brock before turning around...and getting wiped out by the soaring Thunderkid, who executes a majestic crossbody from the top rope that brings MSG to it's feet! COLE Incredible agility from the 250 odd pound Thunderkid! COACH That's no small man he took down neither! As Bruce rolls himself out of harm's way, Thunderkid decides to be pro-active, grabbing Todd Cortez by the arm and pulling him into the centre of the ring. A quick flurry of right hands puts The Urban Legend on the backfoot before Thunderkid reaches down deep, and hoists Cortez overhead with a PRESS SLAM~! ... ...and DROPS him, hard! COACH BAH! Should have dumped him over the top. TK is cooking now, firing himself up, before coming face to face with Brock Ausstin! COLE And this is far from the first time these two have squared off... Not backing down, TK stuns the still woozy Brock with a quick boot to the gut. Looking around for an open strip of ring ropes to run, Thunderkid then hits those same ropes and charges back, but Brock ducks and hoists Thunderkid up onto the shoulders, for the F-STUNNER-5... ...NO! Thunderkid slides down the back and whips Brock around. A boot to the gut again finds the mark, before TK sets up the THUNDERBOLT DDT... ...NO! Brock escapes, pushing Thunderkid off. Hitting the ropes behind him, TK comes back with a Bicycle Kick, aiming for the head. Trouble is, Brock's head moves. Brock catches the incoming leg over the shoulder and wraps an arm around the waist, hooking Thunderkid up and tossing him overhead with a Capture Suplex!! COLE Amazing! Back across the ring, it's still all out war between Hoff/Drek and Tony Brannigan. Bohemoth has left the scene by now, leaving Brannigan back at a two on one disadvantage. Looking for the end, Hoff strides out into the vacated centre of the ring and counts down from three to one on his fingers. As the final finger comes down Drek then grabs Brannigan's impressively sculpted arm and shoots him out of the corner with an irish whip, towards Hoff who bends down for a Spinebuster... ...but T-Bod stops short and boots Hoff in the face! COACH Oh! Not the goatee!! Hoff goes down like a sack of proverbial potatoes, prompting Drek to try charging in. He soon regrets that decision, however, right in the middle of an Out Of Body Experience!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Now THERE'S a Spinebuster! COACH Eh, he's no Hoff. The brawling continues on, but all focus is on Brannigan now as he grabs hold of Drek's hair...what there actually is of it...dragging him back up as he signals that he's going to throw him out. A scoop sets Drek up, Brannigan hovering him over the top... ...BUT HOFF GRABS THE LEG, TRIPPING BRANNIGAN UP AND CLAMPING ON THE ANKLELOCK!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE ANKLELOCK! ANKLELOCK BY HOFF!! COACH Yeah, snap it H! Drek ends up falling safely to the canvas, while Hoff cranks away on Tony's ankle! "TO - NY!" "TO - NY!" "TO - NY!" "TO - NY!" The NYC crowd rally behind Brannigan, despite the outlook being considerably bleak. Hoff continues to wrench and rip at the right ankle, while Drek stands over T-Bod, landing a few kicks across the side of the head for shits and giggles, infact giggling down at Tony as he does so. Well, maybe not 'giggling' so much as laughing. Manly laughing. COLE Look at these two! This is a Battle Royal, you can't win with an Anklelock...this is just torture for the sake of torture! COACH Correction, this is a chance to break Tony's ankle before Syndicated. COLE That's even more reprehensible! Luckily for Brannigan, help is soon at hand. Rushing over to the scene, Leon Rodez lays into Hoff from behind with a forearm before going on to Drek, catching him with a shot before grabbing a leg and looking to lever Drek out of the match! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Drek snatches at the turnbuckles for some way to prevent getting dumped out, but he's teetering on the brink, his grip on the top buckle slipping as Rodez ducks his head underneath Drek's torso and puts all his weight behind a push... ...AND DREK IS... ...SAVED, as Hoff eventually drops the grip on Tony's ankle and drags Rodez off of his running buddy. "AWWWW - BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Hoff lays into Rodez with a heavy forearm, dropping Rodez into a seated position in the corner. Far from pleased with his compadré, Drek shows his 'gratitude' by criticising Hoff for not helping him sooner, before giving Tony a token kick. COLE Do I sense some tension? COACH Maybe, but nothing more than me bitching you out for taking the last brownie earlier. Hoff made a mistake, Drek called him on it. No biggie. COLE ...we didn't have brownies out here... COACH It was rhetorical. Plus, it's kinda a subtle hint to whoever preps this couch every week. Together, Hoff and Drek focus their attentions on Brannigan once more. Hoff holds Brannigan in place on his knees, while Drek takes a run-up and boots T-Bod right in the face! And again! Rodez tries to help out again, but a back elbow sends him into retreat, while Hoff makes up for the lack of a third kick by throwing Brannigan face-first into the canvas! DREK Get him up! With Drek directing, Hoff heaves Brannigan's frame back up off the canvas and brings him over to the ropes. Hoff then backs off, Drek holding Brannigan in place. A quick wind-up of the arm sets up a clothesline as Hoff charges in from centre ring...not realising Brannigan has fought Drek off until it's too late... ...BUT HOFF LANDS ON THE APRON FROM T-BOD'S BACKDROP! COLE He's almost gone...almost... *CHING!* "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...and before Brannigan can turn around to finish the job, Drek catches him with a sneaky lowblow!! COLE Damnit! T-Bod drops to his knees with a low moan, while Hoff rolls back in. Drek casts Hoff a look to say 'be more careful next time' before he and Hoff grab hold of Brannigan's head from behind, running him across the ring... ...AND SIMPLY TOSSING HIM OVER THE TOP!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE And there goes Brannigan. That's two former Champions out of the reckoning. [b][i]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TONY BRANNIGAN LEFT: 5th ELIMINATED: Gibraltar (co) ELIMINATED BY: Hoff, Drek Stone LEFT IN RING: 11 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/i][/b] Hoff and Drek smugly celebrate a job well done, as Brannigan sits up on the outside, dazed but aware of what just happened. And as he pounds the ringside padding in frustration, Leon and Bohemoth launch simultaneous attacks on Drek and Hoff! COLE Here we go, Hoff and Drek have been seperated. That's what the other guys in this match need to do if they're to have a chance of winning here tonight. Across the ring, Bruce and Cortez have Brock up and are trying to dispatch him from the battle royal. Brock is holding on and that, along with Leon and Bo's attacks has brought the crowd to their feet. The struggle goes on as Brock is in desperate need on help. But TK is still down. PRL is up. But he blatantly disregards Brock's peril and instead drags Thunderkid over to the corner to put the boots to him! It seems Brock is helpless... ...helpless... ...except for Longdogger Pete, pulling Todd Cortez off of Brock and levelling him with a right hand! Bruce then gets pulled and nailed too, before Pete goes back after Cortez. That allows Brock to re-enter the ring and hover over Peter Knight, who is watching on and waiting for an opening, with Brock on his blindside. COLE So much for Pete being in cahoots with The Wildcards. COACH Yeah well, give it time. COLE Give it time? Coach, do you not see him driving his knuckles into Cortez's face!? COACH When did you get so trusting, huh? A year ago, you'd have been all like WHAT IS THEIR RELATIONSHIP!? That was like your runner. It might be one of those set-up all along deals. Bruce shakes off the cobwebs and helps out Cortez with a rake of the eyes on Pete, throwing him into the corner and driving a succession of knees into the gut on the Doggah... ...as across the ring, Brock Ausstin has burst into life and has Peter Knight up on his shoulders!! COLE F-STUNNER-5... ...NO! Knight escapes, landing on his feet behind Brock! Stumbling forward, Brock wonders what the hell just happened, lumbering around in search of Knight...and getting nailed with a big boot! But as soon as Knight stumbles through finding his feet, Tha Puerto Rican launches into action and levels Knight with a flying forearm! Down goes Knight, as PRL turns out to the crowd, raising the Corporate Eyebrow before making the magic "belt motion" to show to the world just how darned confident he is. COLE You know PRL would love to get his hands on Alfdogg again. COACH The fact he's never won the 'big one' is a travesty and you know it. PRL's been one of the top superstars in this company for years. Years! COLE He just might get his chance at AngleSlam. PRL takes his time as he weighs up his options, deciding to lay into PK with some patent pending (as well as law suit) shaky leg kicks. Little realising that Longdogger Pete has just been driven into the canvas with what seemed like a Clothesline/STO combo from Bruce and Cortez, PRL continues to lay in the kicks, until Bruce swaggers over to him, tapping him on the shoulder. Turning around and finding himself completely outmatched for size, PRL takes evasive action, running and ducking underneath Bruce's right paw. On the other side however, Cortez is waiting. Scooping PRL up, Cortez turns and PLANTS Tha Puerto Rican with a Sitout Spinebuster! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Thunderkid is down. PK is down. Pete is down and now PRL is down. Just now pulling himself to his feet is Brock Ausstin though, giving Bruce something to aim at with a hard punch. Brock doesn't go down from the barroom esque strike, which surprises Bruce for a second before he follows up with a hooking clothesline, dropping Brock finally. COLE The Wildcards are taking over. This isn't good. COACH Damn right it ain't! With everyone else licking their wounds, Bruce now points across the ring where the remaining four are doing battle. Bruce leathers into Bohemoth from behind with a hard shot, while Cortez turns Rodez around, a standing dropkick putting pay to him. That leaves just Hoff and Drek, who scuttle out of Bruce and Todd's immediate rampage and come around to face them across the ring, setting off a four way face-off! COLE Ooh, look at this...we've got The Wildcard and we've got Drek and Hoff. Four guys who could care less about the well-being of this company... COACH That's not true! Drek and Hoff are fighting for the OAOAST! COLE Well, as much as I loathe to do so, I'm going to have to route for Drek and Hoff here. "SMART - MARK SUCKS!" "SMART - MARK SUCKS!" "SMART - MARK SUCKS!" "SMART - MARK SUCKS!" Drek acknowledges and agrees with the chant, which Bruce understandably takes exception to. Stepping up to The Reckless One, with no regard for his achievements in the OAOAST, Bruce points a finger right into Drek's chest...only to have it slapped away. For a moment, it's all handbags at dawn. Then, they throw down the handbags and start throwing fists, Bruce and Drek laying into each other as Cortez rushes across, double-legging Hoff and mounting him with a flurry of right hands! Hoff reverses briefly and throws his own rights, but Cortez fights back, those two scrapping on the mat, while Bruce backs Drek into the corner with slugging right after slugging right. "O - A - O - A - S - T!" "O - A - O - A - S - T!" COACH That's one awkward chant. Driven on by the chants of the fans, or perhaps just the will to avoid being pounded on, Hoff shoves Cortez away and clambers back up. A clothesline misses...and so does a back elbow. But Cortez makes the rookie mistake of getting jumpy and charging straight in at Hoff. His reward, for anyone with any sort of OAOAST experience, is obvious... ...SPINEBUSTAAAAAAH~! COACH Nobody does it better than Hoff! Hoff now rushes over to aid Drek, laying into Bruce from behind. The combination of Drek and Hoff puts Bruce prone in the corner and leaves him open for a stompfest from two of the OAOAST's finest. COLE I never thought I'd be cheering on Hoff and Drek. COACH Funny business, huh? The other competitors are beginning to collect themselves now, while Hoff and Drek deal with the Trailerpark Messiah. Thunderkid goes after PRL, Knight taking a breather in the corner while Pete goes after Brock. Meanwhile, Rodez is back up and shaking off the dropkick, contemplating a sneak attack on Bohemoth, but thinking better of messing with a 285 pound man. Instead, Rodez takes a jig across the ring and takes it to Peter Knight, seeing him as the pronest of the targets. COLE Well we've got eleven guys left and any one of them would make a worthy challenger at AngleSlam. What do you think Alf is thinking watching this on the monitor backstage? COACH Probably 'Ow, my frikkin' head'. That and maybe hoping Thunderkid wins. COLE Thunderkid? COACH Well, the guy's his best buddy. He'd probably get not so much an 'easy' match but a 'friendly' match against Thunderkid, where as someone like Knight or Brock would be out for blood. And considering the schedule Alf's had as Champion and the gruelling matches he's faced, I think Alf would prefer some friendly competition for once. COLE A good point well made. You're coming on leaps and bounds partner. After a brief conversation, Hoff and Drek bring Blank out of the corner. A double suplex attempt proves to be a little ill-advised however, so they settle for releasing their facelocks and pushing Bruce back into the turnbuckles. Hoff drives in a few shoulder barges, while Drek reaches over top, choking Blank with his bare hands. Walking over, Bohemoth watches on almost curiously and decides to leave them to it, instead going over to the other side of the ring. Rodez takes a hint and jigs out of Bohemoth's way, remembering the clothesline from earlier. So Bo picks up on Knight, while Rodez helps Todd Cortez to his feet and sets him off into the ropes. As Cortez rebounds, Rodez goes up for a standing dropkick...and gets nothing, as Cortez hangs onto the top rope and stops his momentum! Pulling himself back up, Leon then stumbles around, as Cortez breaks off the ropes and the side and dives forward... ...HOLLOW POOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIINNTT!!! COLE WOW! He sent Leon FLYING across the ring with that tackle! Favouring the effects of the Spinebuster, Cortez doesn't see Bruce's predicament and stays on Rodez. Retrieving the 24/7 Champion from across the ring and looks to put the coup de whatsit on proceedings, pulling Leon into a standing headscissors and looking for the sickflip piledriver he calls the Riot Act Plus... ...but gets caught on the way over... ...manouevered across the ring... COLE Uh-oh... ...AND BACKDROPPED OUT OVER THE TOP, TO THE FLOOR!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE ...YES! THERE GOES AN SWF SCUMBAG!! COACH HOLLA~! [b][i]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TODD CORTEZ LEFT: 6th ELIMINATED: Gibraltar (co) ELIMINATED BY: Leon Rodez LEFT IN RING: 10 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/i][/b] Just as Cortez splatters off the ringside pads, Bruce Blank manages to mow down Drek and Hoff with one sudden double clothesline. And seeing his partner lying on the outside, Blank immediately takes it out on the perpetrator with a running Yakuza kick that KOs the 24/7 Champion in one! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BLANK THA'S SUM SDUBYAF FOR YA, YA PUNY SISSY GIRL! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Blank pays for his lack of attention however, as Bohemoth charges across the ring and wipes him out with a Northern MURDERLINE~! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The Meterosexual Monster stands over his far from meterosexual opponent and smirks to himself...which distracts him from Peter Knight, who sneaks up behind and pulls Bohemoth down across a knee, into a modified backbreaker! PK now seems satisfied, motioning that the belt is his. But now he is stuck in Distraction Drive, unaware of Pete sneaking up behind... ...AND BUNDLING THE FORMER WORLD CHAMPION OUT OF BATTLEBOWL!!! "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE OH MY GOD! COACH WOAH! COLE PK IS GONE! PETER KNIGHT, ONE OF THE FAVOURITES, IS GONE AT THE HANDS OF ONE OF THE OAOAST'S NEWEST STARS AND HIS PARTNER EARLIER TONIGHT!! [b][i]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PETER KNIGHT LEFT: 7th ELIMINATED: Gibraltar (co) ELIMINATED BY: Longdogger Pete LEFT IN RING: 9 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/i][/b] Knight sits up in shock on the floor as Pete informs him that that was 'for screwing with the SWF'. Ironic then that Pete suffers the same fate as PK, at the hands of an SWF regular. Bruce Blank. "YYEEEEEEAAAHHHH!!" COLE Turned his back, not a smart move! And now LDP is a goner too. [b][i]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LONGDOGGER PETE LEFT: 8th ELIMINATED: Gibraltar (co), Peter Knight ELIMINATED BY: Bruce Blank LEFT IN RING: 8 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/i][/b] Getting no more than a little comfort from this fate, Knight walks over and spits at Doggah before stomping off back up the ramp, furiously shoving away referees from his path. Back in the ring meanwhile, Bruce has some choice words for the man who commentated on so many of his matches in the SWF. His words take too long to speak however, giving Leon time to collect himself and sneak up behind the Trailerpark Messiah. He even has time to gauge whether to do what he's thinking of doing or not. General consensus is 'yes'. So Rodez leaps, firing off a standing dropkick... ...and Bruce teeters.. ...totters... ...AND TOPPLES TO THE FLOOR! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE YEEAAHH!! THERE GOES THE OTHER WILDCARD! [b][i]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BRUCE BLANK LEFT: 9th ELIMINATED: Gibraltar (co), Longdogger Pete ELIMINATED BY: Leon Rodez LEFT IN RING: 7 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/i][/b] COLE Four men gone in quick succession and suddenly, we are down to the final seven! And one of these seven is going to AngleSlam! We're now left with Leon Rodez, Thunderkid, Bohemoth, Brock Ausstin, Hoff, Drek Stone and Tha Puerto Rican. And it's Tha Puerto Rican who is the most pro-active of the seven. Granted, Hoff, Drek and Bo are down on the canvas so they don't count. But still. PRL sneaks up behind Rodez and waits for him to turn around, stalking the man who ended his record setting 24/7 Championship reign 3 months ago. Slowly but surely, Rodez waves big Bruce bye-bye, before turning back around. Seeing PRL waiting on him, The Silky Smooth One instinctively charges in with a clothesline. But, PRL ducks the arm, catching Leon at the side... ...LATIN SLAM!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The crowd give Tha Puerto Rican a typically heated reception, as he lays the verbal smackdown on the fallen Rodez. However, he'd be better served paying attention to opponents who aren't lying prone on the canvas. I.e Brock Ausstin, who spins PRL around and hoists him up onto the shoulders... ...F-STUNNER-... ...NO! Thunderkid pulls PRL to safety and basically commandeers his recent rival's arm, using it to aid a double clothesline on Brock! COLE Thunderkid is no fan of PRL, but he's not stupid either. He knows that Brock is a major threat in this Battle Royal and it's going to be easier to eliminate him with four hands rather than two, no matter who's hands they may be. Yanking his arm back, Tha Puerto Rican glares at TK...so TK lamps him with a right hand! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Well, so much for that. Across the ring, Hoff and Drek have collected themselves and continue to work as a team, stomping away on Bohemoth in a corner. Meanwhile, PRL pulls himself back up and turns into Thunderkid, who puts him down with another right hand. Rolling to a seated position The Corporate Champion begs off and calls for a timeout. Buying Brock time to pull himself up, catching Thunderkid from behind with a waistlock, throwing him overhead with a Release German Suplex!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Next to his feet, PRL wanders in towards Brock. By the wrist, a sudden jerk brings the Puerto Rican jerk in, throat first into Brock's massive forearm with a short-arm clothesline! "YYEEEEEAAAAHHHHHH!" COLE Man, Brock is just so explosive! COACH And it seems to be drawing some favourable reactions from parts of this Madison Square Garden crowd. Looking around the ring, Brock is the only person standing who's not busy stomping on a Meterosexual and he afford himself the time to take a quick breather. However, in that time, into shot sneaks Leon Rodez, shotting high with a standing dropkick! Down goes Brock, but he is straight back up. So is Leon, unloading with right hands on the former Heartland Champion and eventually backing him up against the ropes. Still the big right hands connect, Brock staggered up against the ropes until finally he pushes out and sends Rodez tumbling backwards. Rolling back through to his feet, Leon doesn't give up on the fight, striding in towards Brock... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and landing a knifedge chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and a second. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...make that a trio. But Brock shakes the chops off and DRIVES his knee into the ribcage of The Silky Smooth One, the force actually taking Leon off his feet before he drops chest-first into the canvas. Reaching down, Brock grabs hold of Leon's freshly gelled hair and drags him straight back up to his feet, locking on a waistlock from the front. Brock positions himself with his back to the ring ropes and looks to throw Rodez over the top with a belly to belly. Leon reaches out and pushes the top rope, preventing the first attempt. Maintaining the waistlock, Brock sets to try again...but Rodez tries to fight his way out, slamming a double ear-clap across either side of Brock's head! With his ears ringing and his balance screwed up, Brock becomes prone to a second double ear clap! And a third! Finally Brock's grip is broken, freeing Leon to cup his hands behind the head and fall back, bringing Brock down sternum first across his knee with an Inverted Lungblower... ...the force of which sending Brock recoiling back... ...sending Brock OVER THE TOP... ...HANGING OVER THE TOP... ...BUT HE SAVES HIMSELF!! COLE Wow, Brock was teetering on the brink for a moment there! Pushing himself back into the ring with a hand on the ring apron, Brock catches Leon on the turn with a big Lariat, wiping him out to some scattered cheers and more freely scattered boos. Before Brock can celebrate for too long however, Hoff navigates safely across the ring, stepping over fallen bodies to get to The Current Big Thing and chop the bigman down to size with a knee clip. A low knee clip, which is infact aimed more at the ankle. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Brock writhes on the mat holding the lower part of his leg, much to the amusement of Hoff. Hovering over Brock, Hoff scrapes the sole of his boot across the face in a display of pure and not entirely unexpected disrespect. The man of many t-shirt designs scrapes the boot across the face again, before dropping a knee across Brock's sternum, just to keep him quiet. "STEEEEEE - ROIDS!" Stopping in his tracks, Hoff looks out around MSG, trying to find the source of the faint chant... "STEEEEEE - ROIDS!" ...a faint chant which some others are picking up on... "STEEEEEE - ROIDS!" ...still not a full accusation by New York, but vocal enough to be picked up on by Hoff. COACH Oh come on now, that's just...just...medically unproven! COLE And yet, somehow I don't think the minority of people who are chanting really care. COACH Why you gotta be hating on minorities? COLE :huh: Fuming at the chants, Hoff tries not to go into Roid Ra... uhm... uh... that is to say, NON Roid Rage... [SIZE=1]yeah, that outta cover it...[/SIZE] but still gives the section of fans a piece of his mind. Back to the match, as as Hoff now lays in a choke on Brock, PRL pulls Thunderkid from the canvas and to his feet. And despite being almost as groggy as his adversary, PRL is the one on the attack. Right hand! Right hand! Right hand! Stop, glance, Corporate Eyebrow, spit, pu... ...DUCKED! Thunderkid ducks the vaunted spit punch and tosses PRL over the top... ...BUT PRL GRABS THE TOP ROPE AND HANGS ON FOR DEAR LIFE... "YYEEEEEEEEE......" COACH C'MON PR, C'MON... ...AND SKINS THE CAT BACK INSIDE!!! "...BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH ATTA BOY! COLE Is Caboose paying you to route for PRL? COACH 18 quid. Of course, I don't know what a 'quid' is, but I'm reliably informed that it's a lot stronger than the American dollar. COLE Well, duh! Planting his feet safely back on terra-firma, the ever cocky Corporate Champion takes a moment to revel in his mini victory, before turning around to find Thunderkid waiting on him! A boot to the gut doubles PRL over, setting him up for an irish whip. Back shoots PRL, into a clothesline attempt from TK, which PRL manages to glide underneath! Tha Puerto Rican continues to glide for another foot or so, before skidding to a halt and encouraging Thunderkid around... KICK! *WHAM!* CAPPA KIL... ...NO! Thunderkid pushes PRL off into the ropes, blocking the Cappa Killer. Back shoots The P.R Menace once more, building up a head of steam as he soars in with a flying forearm. Trouble being, TK has this scouted. With a swift sidestep, Thunderkid is able to catch Tha Puerto Rican in his arms like a flying baby. PRL panics, flailing around in TK's arms despairingly as TK slowly backs across the ring. And then, once he is in a suitable ring position, Thunderkid throws PRL overhead with a Fallaway Slam... ...OVER THE TOP AND TO THE FLOOR!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH OH NO!!! COLE THERE GOES PRL!! [b][i]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THA PUERTO RICAN LEFT: 10th ELIMINATED: Nobody ELIMINATED BY: Thunderkid LEFT IN RING: 6 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/i][/b] Pulling himself back to his feet, Thunderkid looks down with satisfaction at the elimination as a couple of referee swarm over to PRL to check that he's okay. Which he probably is, despite his high-pitched whining. COLE So, we won't be seeing another meeting between PRL and Alfdogg at AngleSlam! COACH Nevermind that, PRL could be seriously hurt! Did you see the way that sadistic bastard Thunderkid threw him over the top rope!? COLE I'm sure he'll be fine Coach, don't worry yourself. Thunderkid now goes for the free body in the match, backing Leon up into a corner and lifting the 24/7 Champion's legs off the canvas in one quick movement! Before Rodez knows what's happening, he's in a precarious position across the top rope and to the squeals of the females in the Garden, he looks to be in big trouble! "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" The fans will Leon on, as Thunderkid tries to gain some traction on the ring canvas, barging away as The Silky Smooth One wraps his arms around the top turnbuckle for safety. Thunderkid has no time for that though, firing off a headbutt into the midsection! And a second! Grabbing the legs, TK then flips Leon off to one side... ...BUT LEON HANGS ONTO THE BUCKLE, SWINGING HIMSELF ONTO THE APRON! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Noticing that he didn't quite get the job done with that, TK looks to kick Leon out of BattleBowl anyway...but doesn't get the chance, as Hoff wheels him around by the arm and clubs him down with a lunging clothesline! And before Hoff has a chance to get to Leon, Brock wheels [i]him[/i] around, rocking him with a flurry of right hands! Off brawl Brock and Hoff. Giving Leon time to pull himself to his feet on the apron, looking down at Thunderkid before shrugging his shoulders and scaling the turnbuckles. TK doesn't seem to be aware of his surroundings, not rolling out of harm's way, as Leon steadies himself up top, making sure he doesn't take a costly fall to the floor, before tumbling off with the 450 SPLASH!! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE 450 to Thunderkid! What a risk to take in a match like this, but it paid off for the 24/7 Champion! As Leon rolls away holding his ribs, Drek has now let up on Bohemoth and strides over to give Hoff a hand against Brock Ausstin. A hand which reaches around and rakes Brock's eyes! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Blinded, Brock lashes out like the animal that he is. Drek is able to avoid his wild swings though, picking his spot with a basement dropkick, aimed pinpointly at the same right ankle that Hoff had clipped out earlier. Whether Drek knew that or not is irrelevant, as Hoff pats him on the back for a job well done, before pointing across the ring. The prone frames of Thunderkid and Rodez are too much to resist. And already smiling away, the power team of BattleBowl stride over and split off. Drek takes Rodez, while Hoff pulls Thunderkid to his feet. A knee to the gut weakens TK up, before Hoff simply takes him by the head... ...AND PITCHES HIM TO THE FLOOR!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE THUNDERKID, GONE! COACH So much for that friendly competition thing at AngleSlam then. [b][i]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THUNDERKID LEFT: 11th ELIMINATED: PRL ELIMINATED BY: Hoff LEFT IN RING: 5 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/i][/b] Dusting off his hands, Hoff then points to Drek, telling him it's 'your turn'. And with a wry smile, Drek obliges, throwing Leon over the top... COLE RODEZ, GO.. ...BUT LEON CLINGS ONTO THE ROPES LIKE A SPIDER-MONKEY, GRAPEVINING THE BOTTOM ROPE AND HANGING ON DESPAIRINGLY!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE NO! No, he's not gone! Looking collectively agitated, Drek and Hoff look to rectify things. However, they don't reckon on Brock Ausstin, catching Hoff with a forearm before grabbing Drek away from Rodez... who is therefore able to roll back into the ring... hoisting him onto his shoulder and... *WHAAAM!* ...F - STUNNER - 5~!1!!1!!!! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Popping back to his feet, Brock lets out a might roar... ...and gets tripped by Hoff, who clamps the ANKLELOCK on the right ankle!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE From out of nowhere, Hoff has got that crippling submission move clamped in!! COACH Oh, he gots him! COLE The same ankle both Hoff and Drek targetted moments earlier. You have to wonder if they came in with a gameplan to chop the bigmen like Brock down and target the ankles. COACH I don't doubt it. As Hoff rips and tears with the Anklelock, Brock's unphasability disappears as he yells out in pain with each crank of the ankle. On instinct alone Brock crawls towards the ropes, which would be an escape if it wasn't a Battle Royal. But Brock can be forgiven for not thinking too straight right now considering the pain he's clearly in and he continues to crawl hand over hand, the ropes in sight. Reaching out, Brock's fingers brush the ropes. But Hoff isn't bothered either way, as he wrenches at the ankle, crank after crank, twisting Brock's foot like a peppercorn grinder. Until suddenly, the foot is no longer in his hands. And his hands are reaching despairingly for the ropes... ...and missing. "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH NOOOO!! COLE HOFF IS GONE!! HOFF IS GONE!! THE REIGNING BATTLEBOWL CHAMPION GOT BLINDSIGHTED BY... BY BOHEMOTH!! COACH NOOOOOOOOO!! [b][i]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ HOFF LEFT: 12th ELIMINATED: Tony Brannigan (co), Thunderkid ELIMINATED BY: Bohemoth LEFT IN RING: 4 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/i][/b] No sooner has he hit the floor than Hoff scrambles back to his feet, glancing only for a moment at the roaring fans before looking up wondering what the hell just happened. The answer stares him right in the face, as Bohemoth cooly shrugs his shoulders. Gobsmacked, Hoff and his secksy goatee are shuffled off by the referees, everything eventually setting in at which point Hoff takes his frustrations out on the nearest section of guardrail, kicking it and causing the fans gathered around it to barely supress heart attacks. COLE And just like that, we are down to the Final Four! [b]Final Four: Bohemoth, Brock Ausstin, Drek Stone and Leon Rodez[/b] Bohemoth calmly stalks around the ring, with Drek KOed and Leon keeping himself clear of the action for the time being, as he sees Big Bo's eyes firmly locked on Brock Ausstin. Limping to his feet, Brock grimaces a little as he hobbles 180, sensing as much. Bohemoth is staring him down. And Brock isn't going to back down! COACH Hooohoooboy!! "BO - HE - MOTH!" "Let's go Brock!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "Let's go Brock!" The MSG crowd are, surprisingly, somewhat split. It seems about 75:25, but the support for Brock is there, the fans perhaps caught up in this face-off between two of the biggest, roughest and badassiest men in the OAOAST today! COLE Now, this is a face-off and a half! Brock Ausstin, Bohemoth, as far as I can remember the first time these two have come eye to eye! COACH This is gonna be sick. After a brief, wordless game of chicken, Bruce comes forward and strikes... *CRACK!* ...landing a forearm! Bohemoth still seems a little woozy from the beatdown Hoff and Drek had handed out to him for so much of the match, but manages to fight back... *CRACK!* ...with an elbow strike! Brock wobbles but doesn't go down, regaining his bearings... *CRACK!* ...landing another snug forearm strike! Bo is spun away by the force but that just fires the former bodyguard up, clenching his fists as he whips back around... *CRACK!* ...and connects with a THUNDEROUS elbow strike! Put into reverse, The Current Big Thing goes back four or five steps with his gaze looking decidedly off centre as he tries to steady himself. COLE These two men going toe Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted July 4, 2006 strike for strike! And neither man seems to be backing down! COACH This is full contact at it's best! "BO - HE - MOTH!" "Let's go Brock!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "Let's go Brock!" Defiant, Bohemoth watches Brock and seems to be almost waiting on a response... *CRACK!* ...and he comes firing right back with another elbow! This one connects across the ear and sends Bo off to the side, eyes frozen wide in surprise momentarily, before he shakes away the imaginary fireflys inside his head... *SMACK!* "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...and a STINGING, straight right jab to the cheek, catching Brock completely by surprise! COLE This is just brutal! And Brock is still standing! COACH Barely. Just barely. Neither man seems all that steady on their feet as they try to collect their thoughts in the centre of the ring. Seeing this as a prime opportunity, Leon quickly scuttles himself out of the corner and jogs over to the scene, ready to strike...until both heads turn towards him. Smiling nervously, very nervously, Leon throws up a peace sign and encourages Brock and Bohemoth to 'carry on, pretend I'm not here'. Too late for that though, as Bohemoth shoves Brock aside, scooping Leon up and PLANTING him with a Front Spinebuster!! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Bo pops straight back to his feet, ready to pick up where he left off with Brock...but turns around, into a hoist... ...BUT BROCK'S ANKLE GIVES WAY!! COLE Oh! I'm not sure if Brock would have got the FStunner5 even if his ankle was okay, but unfortunately that's a non issue, because his ankle isn't okay! Sliding down the back, Bohemoth turns Brock around to face him. Brock is awaiting that very move however and shocks Bo with a double leg. This time, the ankle holds out, long enough for Brock to charge Bo across the ring. Heading towards the top rope, Bo tries to think quickly for a way to escape... ...but soon finds himself toppling over... ...clinging onto Brock in the hope of saving himself... ...BUT ONLY SUCCEEDING IN BRINGING BROCK OVER THE TOP WITH HIM!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Oh my, Brock and Bohemoth are both gone! They eliminated each other! [b][i]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BROCK AUSSTIN LEFT: 13th ELIMINATED: Gibraltar (co), Otaku II, Bohemoth ELIMINATED BY: Bohemoth ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/i][/b] [b][i]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BOHEMOTH LEFT: 14th ELIMINATED: Gibraltar (co), Crystal, Hoff, Brock Ausstin ELIMINATED BY: Brock Ausstin LEFT IN RING: 2 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/i][/b] COLE And would you look at what that leaves us! Last year's runner-up, Leon Rodez and the former World Heavyweight Champion, Drek Stone. Last year, Leon pitched Drek out at the last three stage, only to come up one short of the BattleBowl crown. Somebody is going to get their revenge tonight, one way or the other. COACH And there's history here too Mikey. Remember a couple of years ago, these two wrestled at AngleSlam. COLE Indeed. How ironic that it would be these two now fighting to determine who will go on to challenge for the World Heavyweight Championship at that very event, two years down the line! Still reeling from the F-Stunner-5, Drek stumbles back to his feet. But his mood is soon lightened as he sees the two bigmen, Brock and Bo, being surrounded by referees and told that their night is over. Now, Drek knows just two remain. And now he knows he's got a damn good shot. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" The NYC crowd are solidly behind Leon now, as he uses the ropes to pull himself up after his Front Spinebuster moments earlier. And the temptation proves too strong for Drek, rushing across the ring and looking to bundle Leon out right there and then... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...only to run directly into a knifedge chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and a second, as he doggedly tries again. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...chop number three finally sends Drek reeling and gives Rodez a chance for a run-up himself. Backing off the ropes, The Silky Smooth One breaks out towards The Reckless One, looking for a clothesline. No matter how hurt he is, Drek is still quick to spot a lumbering clothesline coming his way though and he throws up an arm, catching the 'line. Drek ducks behind in mid-capture and scoots behind Leon, hooking up the other arm and applying a full nelson. COACH THE RECKE... ...but Leon denies Drek his patented Dragon Suplex, locking his hands together and breaking Drek's grip European style. With Drek behind him, Leon then crouches to a knee and suddenly shoots back up, bringing Stone up with him piggyback style, looking for the Backpack Stunner he likes to call... COLE Banana Hammock... ...but Drek denies Leon his patented move, using his free arm to punch Rodez firmly in the kidneys. Not once, nor twice, but three times which finally causes Leon to drop him back to his feet. COLE Both of these men are looking fatigued now, this is just guts and willpower that's riding them through at the end! Grabbing Rodez first, a forearm is fired down by Drek into Rodez's forehead. And again. Drek then takes the moment to pound his chest in an attempt to lure the crowd, before nailing Rodez again. Before Drek can mug for the crowd again though, Rodez fights back, hitting a shot to the gut. Drek fires back, but it's Rodez again going to the gut. And again. Again, again, again! Drek is suddenly on the backfoot and the crowd are perking up, as Rodez suddenly goes for the legs of Drek. Defensively, The Reckless One wraps his arms around Leon's waist to block. COLE Rodez is trying for an elimination it seems here. COACH Which is a smart move, considering it's a battle royal. COLE No kidding. Rodez carries on going for the takedown. Drek continues to block. Until finally, with his energy sapping, Drek snaps his leg upright... *CHING!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" ...and boots Leon below the belt!! COLE NO! Not like this! As The Silky Smooth One groans in ma-pain, Drek manages to pull Rodez up off the mat and lift him up... ...STONECUTTER!!! Going limp, Rodez slumps onto his side and looks vacantly up at the lights. But Drek doesn't let up, dragging him right back off the canvas... ...STONECUTTER, AGAIN!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Damnit, enough! Drek is sapped now. But by now it doesn't matter. Having done enough, Drek uses one last spurt to heave Rodez up before turning, falling in exhaustion as he throws Leon up, over the top... ...AND OUT TO THE FLOOR!!!!!!! COLE GAAAH! COACH YEEAAAHH! I told you Mikey, I told you! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, LEON RODEZ has been eliminated!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" [b][i]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LEON RODEZ LEFT: 15th ELIMINATED: Todd Cortez, Bruce Blank ELIMINATED BY: Drek Stone ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/i][/b] BUFFER Your winner, of Battlebowl... and the NEEW Number One Contender to the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship... "RECKLESS" DRRREEEEEEKK SSSTTOOOOOOOOONNEEEEEEEEE!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" [b][i]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ DREK STONE TEH WINN0R~! ELIMINATED: Tony Brannigan (co), Leon Rodez ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/i][/b] Elated but too tired to really show it, Drek smugly smiles out at the fans as referee Earl Hebner raises his arm in victory. On the floor, Leon lies motionless except for a hand pressed to his neck, as the other referees check that he's not seriously injured. COLE Two years in a row...two years in a row, Rodez is denied! And this year, it's Drek Stone, the 'comeback king', who's going to AngleSlam to challenge for the World Heavyweight Championship, damnit! COACH Damnit? Why damnit? Drek earnt it the hard way... COLE He relied on Hoff's help half the match, then the lowblow at the end...I don't want to take too much away from Drek. Drek versus Alfdogg at AngleSlam should be a hell of a match. I'm not going to lie and say I'm happy with this result though. COACH Too bad. COLE ...well, touché. Folks, it's another rushed ending to BattleBowl, we should really have purchased more airtime. From Michael Cole and Johnathon Coachman, the Road To AngleSlam isn't paved with gold...it's paved with Stone. Goodnight and once more, Happy 4th of July! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
