King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted July 12, 2006 Promo 1. For as early in the show as you like. COLE Later tonight, Bohemoth teams with NRG and earlier in the week we caught up with the trio preparing for their match at a local gym. Let's go to that footage right now. *STAR-WIPE~!* From the darkness of a late night open air floor outside of what seems to be a gymnasium, we pan slowly up past the chipwood and the leaves and slowly up to the body of The Meterosexual Monster, Bohemoth. Clad in some untypical warm-up gear and sweating slightly from his workout, Bo still rocks the orange tinter sunglasses to remind us all that he's styling. Sat on a chair in the middle of what looks like chipwood, Bohemoth remains stoic. In the background, Biff Atlas and Flex Phillips stand with their backs to the camera, facing into the bushes and chatting amongst themselves. BOHEMOTH I don't do this promo shtick often. It's late and I'm tired and I don't wanna screw up, so, here goes. At The Great America...ah, SHIT! Bohemoth promptly stands up and storms out of camera shot. Attention caught by the language, Biff and Flex turn their heads around and eventually stroll over, watching on curiously. VOICE (off screen) Oh hey Bo, how's things go... *OOOOF!* VOICE (off screen) ...UUGGGGHHH! OH GOD!! MY SPLEEN!!! BIFF Ouch. FLEX That's gonna smart. BIFF No doubt. (looks down) I think I peed on me a little. FLEX I pissed on myself a little bit too. But that's okay, because you know what, we still rock! BIFF That's right...and you know what else we do? Flex looks curious. BIFF We roll. FLEX We roll, damn right we do. You know what else we do? We wrestle! And I guess this camera here means we're supposed to talk about wrestling. This Thursday, we're gonna be facing The South Central Ass-Kissers and that intillectuwhore, Christian Wright. BIFF That's right. You know what we're gonna do to them? You know what The Biff is gonna do... *CLANG!* Fired up, Biff kicks Bohemoth's discarded chair away. FLEX We're gonna kick them like chairs! BIFF Frikkin' are...we frrriiikin' are! FLEX That's a fact. Marcellus Wallace ..... Vincent Ford ..... hahaha... I forgot who we were wrestling there for a moment, I completely forgot their names, but it doesn't matter because we're gonna beat them anyway. It's two gansters, right? BIFF I think so. I'm not quite sure. FLEX (looking off camera) Hey, come back here. BIFF C'mon. FLEX Come back in here, we'll show you how this is done. Footsteps can be heard as Bohemoth, newly cooled down, strolls back into camera shot with his hands on his hips. BOHEMOTH I know how it's done. FLEX Alright give it a try, we'll listen and see how you do. BIFF You need some pointers, you gonna be alright? I'm pretty over with my promos. I could teach you a few things. BOHEMOTH I'm fine. (to camera) At the Great American Ba...FUCK IT!! Bohemoth again snaps, but this time NRG calm him down, grabbing his chair back and sitting him down. FLEX Okay calm down man, you've gotta breathe. You've gotta relax. Let it flow. Let it flow. It's in your blood... BOHEMOTH Why do I smell piss? FLEX Uh...I, well...we were peeing, over there. BIFF It's probably on my pants. FLEX It's okay though. It's natural, it's human nature. BIFF It's man juice. Just like promos, natural. FLEX Okay, come on let's do this...when are we talking about here? You remember? BOHEMOTH The Great [i]Angle[/i] Bash. FLEX That's good. BIFF You're already a step ahead of us big guy. BOHEMOTH At The Bash, you out-smarted me Christian. I expected a wrestling match, you turned it into a beatdown. Thursday night on HeldDOWN~!, I won't make the same mistake. It won't be 3 on 1. It'll be 3 on 3. And Thursday night, I'm going to do what I planned to do at The Bash. Erotic Awakening, 1, 2, 3. It's as simple as that. Bo stands up and cooly leaves, as NRG look on with pride, for some reason. BIFF Okay, The Biff likes it. FLEX Mmmm. Very simplistic, I like it. Very simplistic, to the point. BIFF Yeah, it needs some work though. It probably should have been a little more like this. (feigns putting sunglasses on) Christian Wright you're a punk bitch! You cheated, you stole the match away from me you intillectuwhore! You know, next time we get in the ring it's your ass. Your ass is grass and you know what, Bohemoth, he's gonna beat you, he's gonna beat you 1, 2, 3 and then he's gonna dance all over your face! And you know what, if he needs to pee, he's gonna pee right on you. FLEX YES! BIFF He might even get a little on his leg, but you know what Christian that's okay, because it's natural. FLEX And Militia Hippies, don't think you're going to get away without an NRG Burst neither. We're gonna beat you...3, 2, 1..NO!, not 3, 2, 1, but 1, 2, 3! BIFF 1, 2, 3, why is everybody peeing on me? NRG smile in satisfaction, Flex flexing his muscles... BOHEMOTH Man, you two are dorks. ...until Bohemoth kills the moment, strolling the rest of the way off back towards the gym, as NRG watch on incredulously. FLEX Like his promos are any better. BIFF Phff, yeah. You know what, screw this, The Biff is gonna go get his press-ups on. Biff Pose: Adonis! Biff hits his "Adonis" pose, which is basically a generic bodybuilder pose. FLEX Yeah let's go, I've got an NRG Apple Grapple power-bar waiting with my name on it. Literally, seeing as I own the copyright. With handtags and backslaps all round, NRG walks off towards the gym as we fade to leaves, then to black. *ANTI-STAR-WIPE~!* COLE Bohemoth's right, those two are pretty dorky. COACH You're just threatened by them because they're athletic. Athletic people scare you, don't they Michael? Bad time in high school, huh? You want to talk about it? I hear it helps to share. COLE ...Bohemoth and NRG up against The South Central Militia and Christian Wright later on tonight. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted July 12, 2006 Promo 2, right before the 6 Man Tag. Cut to backstage, where Bohemoth and NRG are WALKING~! COLE Coming up after the break, it's Six Man Tag Team Action! Christian Wright and The South Central Militia, taking on Bohe...woah, what the hell! Suddenly, both Michael Cole and the snazzy background music stop. The 'UP NEXT' logo in the bottom left of the screen abruptly disappears too, as Bohemoth and NRG stop in their tracks. Bohemoth coolly lowers his shades and crosses his arms, staring at the makeshift roadblock that is Axel! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" AXEL You two can run along, I just need to speak to the big guy. Taking the hint while they can, Biff and Flex give Bo encouraging slaps on the back and motion that they'll see him in the ring, before shuffling off, wondering just what in the hell is going on. Bohemoth seems to be asking that exact same question, as Axel, smiling for some reason, leans up against the corridor wall. And after a brief, awkward pause, the former World Champion nods in approval. AXEL You know, it takes a lot to impress me. But, I gotta say, you impress me bigman. You impress me a whole heck of a lot. Call it egotistical if you want, but I see a lot of me in you. BOHEMOTH Hold up. Are you...coming on to me? "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Smiling off the suggestion, Axel shakes his head. AXEL And a sense of humour too. I like that. No Bo, I'm not coming on to you. I'm strictly Heterosexual, unlike your good Meterosexual self, but that's besides the point. See, I've got a proposal for you. A business proposal, naturally. I had a bit of a...'vested interest' in BattleBowl and as you know, Drek Stone came out on top and he's going to AngleSlam... "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" AXEL ...but you see, something else caught my eye that night. You. Axel points a big, Aussie finger in Bohemoth direction as he says this, pushing himself up off the wall. AXEL The way you took Hoff and just threw him over the top rope like he was nothing impressed the hell out of me. Because you see, Hoff isn't nothing. He's far from nothing. And it takes a special talent to manhandle a former two time World Heavyweight Champion, brief as that moment may have been. You impressed me. Which is why myself and Hoff and Drek have come to an agreement. And Bo, on behalf of them and myself, I'd like to offer you the opportunity of your life... a spot on my team for the Survivor Series Rules Match at Syndicated. Raising an eyebrow ever so slightly at this announcement, Bo is apparantly surprised. Axel leans back against the wall and does a quick check of the fingernails, trying to look as casual as the Meterosexual Monster, even in the face of this big offer. Eventually, Bo seems to have mused it over a little. But as he replaces the shades over his eyes he continues to stare on down the hallway. BOHEMOTH Thanks, but no thanks. "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Looking almost unable to comprehend the answer he's given, Axel pushes up off the wall and becomes a little more threatening. Not that Bo seems that worried, lifting the shades again to lock eyes with the former World Champion. AXEL You do realise that you're making a big mistake, of course. BOHEMOTH The only mistake I'd make is if I sold out to you again. I've changed since The Upstarts Axe.. AXEL The Upstarts!? Screw The Upstarts! That was different, that was in the pa... BOHEMOTH I've changed. I'm not just a walking bodyguard that you or Christian or anyone else can order around. I'm my own man. So, with all due respect...thanks, but no thanks. Now, I've got a match, so I'll let you go and find Plan B. Brushing past Axel, Bohemoth strides out of camera shot, leaving The Dark One to watch on, fuming. AXEL Oh, you're bloody well going to regret that [b][COLOR=orange][i]UP NEXT:[/i][/COLOR] CHRISTIAN WRIGHT AND THE SOUTH CENTRAL MILITIA -VS- BOHEMOTH AND NRG[/b] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted July 12, 2006 And the six man tag will magically appear later... ...RIGHT HERE, in the Glass Ceiling Folder Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
