Metal comments

[Guest Tod deKindes]

Sweet show. Doggone it, I ain't new champ. Couldn't help noticing all the typos in the opening promo, though. Sorry guys.

[Guest Suicide King]

I very much enjoyed the NBK/T-Bone match.

[Guest Coffin Surfer]

Damn the boards are dead tonight.  I was actually quite distrubed by the NBK/TBONE match.  So much for the NBK comeback. It's a shame about Chorus of Boos(Reid) cause he was alright, and was actually a huge influence on me, to strip down my character's style. He could have at least said "Bye" or something.

 

Anyway, I'am in complete disbelief that I won. I'am waiting for it to be declared a default win or something.  Good show out of everyone.

[Guest WrestlingDeacon]

Opening promo:

Seems a bit rushed. And what are all these “changes” that the New Sound supposedly brought in with them, some specifics would be nice. Also the bit with the woman just seems really out of place, kind of forced. Poisyn and Flex show good chemistry and the playing of the crowd is well done though. Basically setup as to who the new member of the New Sound will be.

 

Creed vs. Scott Reid

-Hey, double no show. Think we all predicted that. Don’t let the door hit you on the ass on the way out. All hail the BUTT-puzzler! I think “I Like Big Butts” by Sir Mix-a-Lot is a natural theme song for him. The end with Rindua and Renduo is either the deepest thing I’ve ever read or someone needs to lay off the acid.

 

Sky/Frost promo

-The saga continues. Trust me this is all going somewhere (although the “where” is still up to question)

 

Impact vs. Thor

-The commentary needs major work, but that will come with experience and reading how others write the commentators. Figure out one or two character traits for each and just push those buttons until you know them better and completely. Thor is a very unique and different character and I think you should have spent more time developing him in the entrance and through the announcers’ commentary, the dude is supposed to be a Norse god, you have to explore that even a little in your first match. Your narrative action could use more description and more developed transitions. I would also say work on your storytelling abilities as this felt like “just a match,” especially as far as the finish is concerned. I can’t get a good grasp of how your piledriver setup goes and while you do a good job of putting Impact over through most of the match, I though the end buried him a little too much. On the positive side, (so I don’t sound like a complete ass) you have a good grasp of pacing, how to use moves and chain wrestling. Just read more experienced people’s matches and keep plugging away yourself and I’m sure you will develop nicely as I think the Thor character can become very fascinating.    

 

NOTE: If I ever, EVER, become a marker I will auto-job anyone who uses a Creed song for theme music and you will become the personal bitch of the Memphis Eel. (and that is why I will never be a marker)

 

New Sound promo 2

-Now that rocked. Flex and Poisyn felt like such three dimensional characters and came off as very human. Their fear of just being another tag team and not a stable is a very creative and new storyline. Now you’ve got me hooked.

 

C.I.A. vs. Fugue

-I am very happy to see C.I.A. win his first match. I know first hand that he has spent a lot of time and effort into crafting this contest and sought advice and help from several people (myself included). That type of dedication to improve and develop as a writer and character is something we always need here in the SJL. Overall, I found C.I.A.’s match to be very good for a n00b’s first effort and any deficiencies can be improved with continual hard effort and writing experience. He already knows what I thought of his match in depth, so I won’t dig deeper here.

 

NBK vs. T-Bone

-I really like both of you guys a lot and think you have a lot going for you. So what do you do? You both no show and fall to the Cock. The Cock vs. the BUTT Puzzler for the next ppv says I.

 

IL Promo

-What’s with Fallout? IL is targeting someone. A lot of mystery going on tonight. Whatever happened to Tully and Arn just jumping a guy without any bs and hog tying him to a ringpost?

 

TNT vs. Francis

-What was with King taking the swipe at Funyon? I fear I missed something somewhere. Once again I like Kinkle at the announce table and if a secondary announce team is ever needed, I feel his character would be a good member to join it. However, the commentary does ramble at times, especially if you have to have Axis tell them to focus on the match at hand to get around their zaniness. Good job on working the knee early, although I would have also done something more with the head wounds. Nice use of the ladder without it totally taking over the match. I applaud Francis winning the title and he should make a very worthy successor to the brilliant TNT. I sense I’ll be facing Mak soon that is if I can get around Thompson. The New Sound interference is very surprising and really has me guessing, it should be interesting to see where things go. However, after Mak has just turned semi-face I think it might be too early to go back full heel. Remember what happened to Lex Luger?  

 

Tod/Frost Promo

-I laid an idea out and Tod ran with it. Just more baby steps to a larger pay off (I swear, trust me.)

 

Tod vs. Frost

-I think Tod and I are becoming the most unpredictable writers on here. Just about every person was guessing something different for this match. However, everyone should also know by now that Tod and I are all about doing what’s right for the booking and storylines and we felt that a double count out was the best way to go at this time. Tod wrote the beginning and tail end, and I wrote the middle (from where Tod is tossed to the ramp to the Icelandic leg sweep through the ropes). I’m privileged to be working with him and I think together we crafted a match that hopefully leaves everyone hungry for a more substantial blow off down the road.

 

MVS Promo

-Very intense and scary, although with Claire tied to a pillar and the Canadian CIA involved I got flashes of Dudley DoRight. Interested to see what sort of match this leads to. Head scratcher: MVS mentions that it was a crime that both Cutthroat and CIA were booked and he wasn’t, but Cutthroat wasn’t booked.

 

Ced vs. Z vs. Williams

-The finish just had me on the edge of my seat, very nicely built up and paid off. I like how Ced and Z were handled with each other, as I know they have avoided a match between themselves in the past, yet this time Ced’s hatred of Williams due to the loss on Crimson helps to put a rift between them. Just solid storytelling there that was believable and logical to me, which had me marking out even more when Ced rushes to Z’s aide.  King’s opening comments on Danny losing his limp by being on drugs makes me think that a subtle storyline might be in the works, we’ll have to see. I wish you luck Danny with your World Title match, but not that much luck since you are going up against my girl.

 

Then Chris Wilson is revealed to be the new force behind the New Sound as they do a beatdown on XF9. I hear he's a returning WF'er, but I wouldn't know anything about him. A little background fill in by Axis was probably warranted for the n00b's. 

 

The two double no shows are disheartening, just when we think we have the dead weight cleaned out, we get more. Although strong showings from n00bs Thor and CIA, both of whom show marks of sticking around for awhile, should nicely pick up the slack. I’m intrigued to see where the New Sound saga is going now with Francis being involved and Chris Wilson revealed as some sort of leader/benefactor. Fine show and I look for great things to come out for Crimson (although I will be on sabbatical for the weekend in lovely Stuebenville, Ohio for the annual Dean Martin Festival and won’t be writing.)

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

Ugh, I need some sleep. Better comments to come in the morning, but let me just say great show, especially Mak's ladder match (I no-showed to get the title off of me and move on,) the Tod-Frost match, and of course the Godly main event written by Danno. This should set up a nice and spiffy card...waiting for that.

[Guest]

Been taken vodka shoots with my friends a t the dorm but I'm still okay enough to write this.

 

I wasn't in on the opening promo but I thought it did good job of establishing the New Sound as a real threat. I also agreee with Frost in thinking at least one of the changes should have been announced but that's being saved for a later show. Gotta give the angle time to build right.

 

Reid should have showed. He had talent and we both came in at the same time. We should be feuding right now. And Creed I hardly knew yee but i hope you come back.

 

Nice build up with the bear as a present and Syd denial. So far it seems like Frost and Syd won't get together but that could change. I'm really not sure what's gonna happen. Solid promo and is Tod Syd's protector and one true love. Only time will tell as the squared circle turns.

 

Thor did a nice job for his first match and really put Impact over but it turned into a squash in the end so that took away all the heat you c=gave him. You need to work on the commentators like me because they messed up your matches flow. Don't worry about because it'll start to get better.

 

Go New Sound. Don't worry about it cause a stable you shall soon be! Nice promo and i like the fact that this storyline eran through the whole show. Or maybe it's because i'm involved. Yah druken me...

 

CIA pulls out a win over the grinning Philly man fugue. Nice match and he asked for help apparently which is the sign of somebody that wants to be someone. You're on your way to a nice career here.

 

No show but what the hell wasthat match aboot. Umm...I don't wanna no-show inless i tell the JLCC...

 

Who's IL targeting. Find out soon because i have no clue...

 

First i'd like to thank TNT for getting me over and helping me out alot. He didn't have to do it but he did it with class. I hope I'll elevate the belt like he did. That said Frosty i tried to use the last match with TNT a lot and that was a part oof it. King got dissed by funyon early in t=his speech so he oversold to add some comedy. I'm also not sure if i put him over me enough but I had to cut a few high spots. I liked my spots but had to cut out most ofd my ideas with the ladder to TNT's knee and a leap of faith from the ladder to a table by TNT and the FISHERMABBUSTA from the second rope or off a wedged ladder and a cool spot with the ladder by TNT where he hit some move i can;t remember off the ladder...oh yeah it was a fireman's carry diamond cutter because that's what Reid gave me my first loss with. 5500 words wasn't enough for all those ideas so I tried to go with the moves that had the best pyshc. I personally thin k my commentary improve and hinted at the turn but didn't completely give it away. If you look there were clues. I still gotta make it better but its starting to get okay. And your looking at the newest New Sound Member. A little surprised, well wait a little while and maybe you'll be a little more surprised. I hope it turns out well.

 

P.S. my face turn was like Austin's brief turn with Angle. I know it can turn out bad like Luger but it caught everyone off guard and that's what I was looking for. Althought i wanted to build my character up as a face a little more before a re-turn the New Sound was something that I couldn't pass on.

 

Hehe...I predicted this finish but a nice promo by Tod leading to the no contest.

 

MVS going after someone too but who is it. Is it one of the wrestlers he mentioned or someone else.

 

Andn Danny wins again as the FACE?! Is this bizarro world! I think Danny show's his heel colors against Syd in his world title match. And the New Sound runs in without me. Let's just say i was to beat up to help. After all i took a Tiger Driver off the top of the ladder for chist's sake.

 

And if you missed who the mystery man was read it again because it was stated. It's there if you look.

 

Good show all around and I think I might need a week ofd so I'll PM crusen after this gets posted. I'll promo and run in or stuff but I don't have the time to put together a match this week. Can't fail any classes.

 

Peace

M."got the TV belt jobbed to him" Francis

[Guest crusen86]

The majority of the JL have da mad skillz. In the words of G, that was a fuckin' A show. Keep it up.

[Guest Suicide King]

I must agree with Crusen.  The majority of the JL right now has talent, and that makes for good reading. Keep it up, and at least PM me if you're going to no-show so I can keep the Cock busy with dirty books in the sound trailer.

[Guest midnight_burn]

NBK/T-Bone is definately a match of the year candidate, great on many levels.

[Guest Insane Clown Dan]

Thank you, Frost and Mak, for taking the time to put up such detailed comments on the show.

 

Damn. Some real deep stuff there, outside of the whole New Sound/sWo thing. Really, REALLY liked NBK vs T-Bone Congrats to Deathwish on his amazing M.E. victory, for this shall propel him to greener pastures if he keeps up his efforts. Also, i like that CIA, Mak Francis and Thor all won as well.

 

Credits to Poisyn on the first promo. If I wrote it, I wouldn't have put the whole "Jenny" sequence in. I did the 2nd one.

 

And Mak is on board with the NS, along with the evil genius that all toy stores ph33r. Yes. eVil has only begun

 

-Insane Clown Dan, control-freak extraordinaire

[Guest midnight_burn]

Hmmm, with Wilson joinging together with the New Sound or whatever, i guess that means i'm now associated with them as well.

 

The show was defeinately a very good one, a number of top notch matches. Particularly Deathwish's, a great match and a very deserving #1 contender. Mak's ladder match was also quite a doozy, worthy of winning the TV belt, and Frost puts on another typically great effort in keeping the Euro belt. Add in some other good matches and promos building the Frost/Syd relationship and the New Sound stuff, and it's a very good show.

[Guest Insane Clown Dan]

Er... no you're not, Stryke. This is not an interpromotional thing. The New Sound/ SWO is strictly a JL storyline. So you cannot appear on JL shows, sorry.

[Guest Insanityman]

Holy flaming dookie that's on rye bread and spread with mayo... I've used to have the name Fallout for all my old board names before IGN, so I was stumped on a newbie name so I thought with about fifteen minutes before the show was due (I did get the promo in early though) thought "Fallout, cool."

 

 

No relation to the WF Fallout . Sorry Fallout, heh.

 

Did I mention excellent show?

[Guest]

Alright first match finished!!! Thanks everyone for their, more or less, kind comments on my match. Obviously the commentating was the weakest point, I found myself hitting my head a lot trying to write their characters. A promo will arrive soon to further explain my character.

To clarify, my finisher, the Ragnarok (Norse legend dictates that the Ragnarok is the end of the world, so I thought it was a fitting name for my finisher) is just a standard piledriver. Nothing too fancy about it. But instead of dropping the opponent with their head between my legs, tucked safely away, they are dropped on their head. Hope that clarifies things a bit. Again thanks for not flaming the painful to read commentating or going over by 200 words.    

SupaTaft

[Guest]

Wow, commento-rama going on. I'd just like to say here, I'm tremendously happy to win my first matchup, and after seeing Fugue's match from the last show, I have no doubt it must have been close, and that we'll see a lot more from him.

 

Anyway, Instead of doing this in order, I'll just rant on one thing at a time, in non-sensical fashion. Ha!

 

First, the new sound. Exciting stuff, carried well through the show, and I especially liked the way the characters shone through in the mid show promo. Show how the bad guys are real people too. Then hit people with foreign objects for no good reason. Good stuff with Wilson and Mak Francis, too, although I'm a bit confused. Does this mean Wilson is going to be on SJL shows a lot? And is Mak Francis a member of the new sounds, officially? And are you even still the new sound, or the sWo? Well, hopefully these get cleared up next show, right? RIGHT!?

 

No-shows: Damn shame. There was some talent in them thar matches. But then, we got to read some incredibly weird stuff in it's place. And I can see why the second punishment match mught have grossed people out, but I laughed like crazy. Odd coincidence how well the two new punishment guys go together, isn't it?

 

Pretty much everything from Sky/Frost/Tod was golden, match included. I wouldn't dare give any of them advice, so let me just say I greatly fear one, or all of them, will be bumped to the WF soon, leaving the JL without their talent. And they're not the only ones. Which leads me to....

 

TNT/Mak Francis match: Good stuff from Francis, although he seemed to have a bit of the same akwardness with the commentary and word limits I did. Still, Mak works hard, and I can't wait to see where the TV title takes him.

 

Insane Luchadore: Ooohhhh.... Good stuff, and you have to wonder who IL is targeting. Hopefully this recieves the proper build, but hopefully, it also doesn't drag on to long. *hint hint*

 

Impact v. Thor: I did enjoy reading this, but as has been stated, there is room for improvement, specifically with the finish. If both these guys keep working hard, and aren't afraid to ask advice from the many helpful folks around here, they could both do some good stuff in the near future.

 

Finally, the MAIN EVENT!: Pure goodness. Deathwish did a great job making everyone look good, kept to characters well, and wrote in an in match storyline that had me so far forward to the edge of my seat that I wasn't even REALLY touching the chair. All that said, it's a shame Z won, since he was going to use one of my ideas for his commentary. Blast.

[Guest Coffin Surfer]

All that said, it's a shame Z won, since he was going to use one of my ideas for his commentary. Blast.

Wha? Z didn't win, and neither did his match.

[Guest Longdogger_Pete]

Here's rankings.  Sorry they're so late, I've had problems accessing the boards the last couple days.

 

Rankings Top Ten

 

#1. Sydney Sky - SJL World Champion (45)

#2. Insane Luchador (30)

#3. Mafia (27)

#4. Flunkmasta Flexxx (26)

#5. Poisyn (25)

#6. Frost - SJL European Champion (23)

#7. (tie) "Natural Born Killer" Josh Tupper (19)

#7. (tie) Z (19)

#9. "Deathwish" Danny Williams (15)

#10. "TNT" Taylor Nicholas Thompson (14)

[Guest]

Whoops. That should be DIDN'T win.

 

Oh, and....

 

+1!