King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted August 3, 2006 BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the OAOAST 24/7 Championship of the World! At this time, we wish to remind you all, there will be NO refunds! [b]*GOOOOONG!*[/b] "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" "C'mon man" "DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK..." The familiar sounds of "Mama Said Knock You Out" by LL Cool J bring the crowd to their feet, happy as always to see the fun-loving 24/7 Champion Leon Rodez on his way to the ring. Decked out in silver, the robed Rodez slaps some hands on his way to the ring, not showing too much left-over disappointment from Syndicated. BUFFER Introducing first, from Grand Rapids, Michigan. He weighs in tonight at two hundred and twenty pounds. The reigning and defending OAOAST 24/7 Champion... "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLEEEEEEOOOONN RRRROOOOODDEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZ!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Well, it's that time of the show where we venture into bizarro world. Leon Rodez has already run through The Spock and ZombieSault in these 24/7 Open Challenges and this week, he takes on an import from our friends in Japan, Hi-Gate. And, typically, it's not just any import. The eccentric Chicken Mask Jr., son of the original Chicken Mask, accepted the challenge and showed to the world that he's not chicken! COACH Gah! COLE Oh lighten up. Rodez rolls into the ring and disrobes, unconcerned with his challenge tonight. BUFFER And, introducing the opponent and challenger. From Cage 74 of Hensgate Farm, Tokyo, Japan. He weighs in tonight, uncooked, at pounds. Representing Hi-Gate Promotions... "THE PRECOCIOUS PRINCE OF POULTRY"... CHICKEN MASK... JJJJJUUUUUUUNNNIIOOOOOOUUUUURRRRRR!!!! Confusion spreads through the crowd like e-coli (or, is that from cows? I dunno.) as the jovial and rather wacky in it's own right, "Chicken Payback" by The Bees, cues. Leon jigs along to the infectious song as the entrance doors part, to reveal one of the oddest looking creatures in OAOAST history. And that's saying something. The cruiserweight frame is nothing new and the tights, yellow with red tassles down the sides, aren't too outlandish. But the mask is, because basically, it's a chicken mask. Duh. Complete with feathers and the... gross thing on the top of chicken's heads... Chicken Mask Jr. walks to the ring, as somewhere Terry Taylor wonders why he couldn't have gotten a mask in his day. At least that way he wouldn't have been recognised. COLE Oh man. COACH This is finger lickin' ridiculous! You'd think Leon would be used to these wacky opponents by now, but still he looks bemused, fighting back laughter as Chicken Mask Jr. rolls into the ring. A quick peck on the canvas finds no feed, so he pulls himself up, chicken walking across the ring and pecking curiously at the 24/7 Championship in Charles Robinson's hands. Creeped out, Robinson snatches the belt away and orders Chicken back to his corner, which he clucks off into. COLE So, Leon with another unorthodox opponent here tonight. But from all reports from Japan and I've done my homework on this, this youngster shouldn't be taken lightly. After all, is he really any different from, let's say, any of the Tiger Masks? Or Black Tigers? COACH Yes, because he's a CHICKEN!! Leon, still bemused by this opposition, signals that he's ready to go. No answer from Chicken Mask Jr., but Robinson isn't getting paid by the hour so calls for the bell. *DINGDINGDING!* Neither he nor Leon expect the next happening however, as Chicken Mask Jr. flips out and starts to run around the ring like... well, like a headless chicken. Rodez scrambles out of the ring and Robinson follows, as Chicken Mask Jr. continues to squawk around. COLE Chicken Mask Jr. is apparantly a battery chicken, so the sound of the ring bell and this unusual amount of open space has understandably odd effects on him. Leon and Charles stand on the outside, chatting amongst themselves as Chicken Mask Jr. continues his rampage of the ring. But suddenly, The Southern Fried Superstar calms himself down and realises he's in a wrestling match, kicking into semi-human mode. Adjusting his run in mid-circle, Chicken Mask Jr. turns and charges the ropes. Robinson reacts quicker than Leon and dives for cover, as CM Jr. dives through the ropes and wipes out Leon with an unexpected topé!! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE See! Underneath that mask, there is an impressive professional wrestler. And it's falls count anywhere, as he goes for the pin on the floor... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Pulling Rodez up, Chicken Mask Jr. takes the Champion by top and tails, pitching him back into the ring. Chicken Mask Jr. curiously pecks underneath the ring apron briefly, but comes back out without weaponry and slides back into the ring, to be met with a boot to the gut from Leon on his way up. A forearm backs CM Jr. against the ropes, a second following before Leon hooks a feather covered wristband and whips his opponent across the ring. Back rebounds Chicken Mask Jr., the relatively skinny masked man being easily tilted and whirled around into a backbreaker. A hold of the mask helps Leon to keep the chicken man up though. Hooking on a reverse front facelock, Leon grabs the tights and lifts Chicken Mask Jr. up and over, looking to catch him over the back in backpack position. Chicken Mask Jr. floats over top though, landing behind Leon and pushing him to the ropes. And despite the bad back, as Rodez rebounds, Chicken Mask Jr. is waiting with an impressive standing dropkick! COLE Ooh. The talons right into the face! Chicken Mask Jr. pops back up and does a brief chicken walk, to the semi-delight of the fans. That gives Leon a chance to recover from the dropkick, but as he gets to his feet Chicken Mask Jr. is waiting. CM Jr. wraps on a front facelock and starts pecking at Leon's shoulder blades! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE That's inhumane! Eventually Leon grows tired of his upper back being treated like corn and snaps upright, backdropping Chicken Mask Jr. over. The plucky poultry person is up quickly as Leon favours his back, trying to check if he's bleeding at all. Unfortunately, he isn't the freaky kid from The Exorcist and can't rotate his head 360 degrees, so distracting him long enough for CM Jr. to attack from behind. Front facelock on, Chicken Mask Jr. points to the corner with a loud squawk and is met by a mixed reaction from the pro-Leon but also pro-wacky crowd. Chicken Mask Jr. then breaks into a run and climbs the buckles, twisting around with a Tornado DD...NO! Leon throws Chicken Mask Jr. off, the agile 'animal' however managing to land on his feet. Like a headless chicken, Chicken Mask Jr. runs headlong at Rodez as soon as he gets his footing. But Leon manages to sidestep him and swipe out the legs with a drop toehold, sending Chicken Mask Jr. face-first into the middle turnbuckle! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" COLE That may turn the tide. Leon needs to get serious here, else he's going to end up with an unexpected and quite embarrassing loss here tonight. Picking himself up in the corner, the dis-orientated Chicken Mask Jr. turns around, just in time to take some Double Knees to the chest crushing him against the buckles. Chicken Mask Jr. promptly collapses out of the corner and after being dragged across a foot or so, finds himself in a bad position. LEON FOUR FIFTY! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" COLE Shouldn't that be the [i]Squawk[/i] Fifty? COACH Groan. Exiting to the apron, Leon scales the turnbuckles on the outside as the crowd around him rise to their feet. They've seen this plenty of times before from The Silky Smooth One, but it's still damn impressive. Rodez reaches the top quickly and notices the crowd's excitement, so milks it a little longer, asking the crowd if they really want to see 'it'. A mighty cheer tells him they do, so Rodez sets on top and tumbles forward, with the 450... ...AND FINDS ONLY CANVAS!! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE No! He went for it too soon and again, Chicken Mask Jr. proves to be less of a pushover than the Champion maybe expected! Another chicken walk from Chicken Mask Jr. earns him some unexpected cheers as he stalks around the 24/7 Champion. Pushing back to his feet, Leon is met by CM Jr., who pecks away at his defences, literally. Leon throws his hands up to protect his face as Chicken Mask Jr. keeps on coming, backing Rodez defensively into a corner. Grabbing the ropes, Chicken Mask Jr. hauls himself up onto the second rope in front of Rodez and waits as the Champion peers nervously from behind his guard...and gets pecked across the nose! "ONE!" Peck! "TWO!" Peck! "THREE!" Peck! "FOUR!" Peck! "FIVE!" Peck! "SIX!" Peck! "SEVEN!" Peck! "EIGHT!" Peck! "NINE!" And a final Peck! "TEN!" Chicken Mask Jr. leaps down from the ropes and celebrates with a happy chicken walk. Leon meanwhile still sports the same look of bemusement from earlier as he stumbles from the corner. This certainly wasn't what he expected. Neither is the kick to the back of the head he gets as he nears the centre of the ring, striking him across the external occipital protuberance and knocking him clean out! "OOHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Was that the Chick Kick!? COACH It's cringeworthy, so yes, probably. For some reason Chicken Mask Jr. decides now is the time for another strut, rather than following up on the kick. But eventually he clucks his way back over to Leon, scooping him into his back in a very chicken like way and diving on top with the pinfall attempt... 1... 2... Kickout! CHICKEN MASK JR. BWUUAAAK!? Chicken Mask Jr. questions the count, but Robinson informs him it was "buawk, buawk, shoulder up" rather than the "buawk, buawk, buawk" CM Jr. is contesting for. The Champion is being given some recovery time however, alerting Chicken Mask Jr. that he's still in a match. Forearms club Rodez down to his knees, setting him up as Chicken Mask Jr. hits the ropes and springs up off the fed knee... COLE Shining Gizzard~! COACH *slaps head* ...landing a kick to the stomach! Different, but effective. Effective enough for a pinfall attempt... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE I tell you what, I think Leon may have underestimated Chicken Mask Jr. He went for the finishing touches early on expecting him to be a pushover, but this challenger is clearly higher up the pecking order than Leon thought. COACH How many more of these do you have? COLE I don't know, but I do know this... if Leon doesn't soon mount some offence, this is in danger of becoming a [i]squawk[/i]over! COACH I miss ZombieSault. Climbing off the canvas Leon grabs at his gut with both hands, gasping for breath. Suddenly though, he finds one arm ripped away from the gut, as Chicken Mask Jr. creeps up behind and pulls the arm up behind Rodez's back! COLE CHICKENWING~! CHICKEN MASK JR. WITH THE DEADLY CHICKENWING!! Caught in the lethal hold, Rodez flails in panic and fear in search of an escape. Chicken Mask Jr. is trying to add a crossface to the chickenwing to really finish the 24/7 Champion off, but Leon's flailing is making that a tough task and eventually, after spinning and turning Chicken Mask Jr. into a stuppor, Rodez falls to his knees and sends CM Jr. sprawling forward across the middle rope. Favouring the arm, Rodez manages as much of a jig as one arm and an aching sternum will allow before hitting the ropes. Back he shoots, Chicken Mask Jr. still hung throat first over the middle rope as Leon dives in and drives all his weight into the spine! COLE Call That Bitch Bojangles... COACH ...YO~! COLE ... COACH What? I'm no fan of Rodez, but at least he's come dressed as a human being tonight. As Chicken Mask Jr. comes off of the ropes Leon affords himself time to chicken strut briefly, before rolling CM Jr. up into a pinning predicament... 1... 2... No! Chicken Mask Jr. rolls through to his feet and attempts to beat Leon to the punch, with a kick, right to the gut. But Leon catches the leg and leaves Chicken Mask Jr. hopping around on one leg like...well, a chicken with one leg. Swing and a miss from CM Jr. A second swing and a miss. And a peck and a miss. Rodez seems confused at that one, giving Chicken Mask Jr. time to throw an Enziguri. Rodez ducks though, causing The Southern Fried Superstar to flop face-first into the canvas. RODEZ YOU [b]COCK[/b]! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH What's with all these lameass puns, did someone give Malibu the pencil!? COLE Cock jokes and insider references. Break It Down, Coach. Not exactly insulted by the insult, because he is indeed a cock, Chicken Mask Jr. climbs up and finds himself trapped in a rear waistlock. Chicken Mask Jr. blocks the attempt at a suplex and performs a standing switch to end up behind Leon. Again Chicken Mask Jr. attempts to lock on the Crossface Chickenwing, but this time Leon is prepared and hoiks CM Jr. up onto his back... COLE BANANA HAMMO... ...only for Chicken Mask Jr. to start pecking frantically at Rodez's ear, until he frees himself from backpack position. COLE It seems our Japanese friend has done his homework. Leon has been finishing people off with that backpack stunner for the past few weeks and that's the second time Chicken Mask Jr. has escaped those clutches in this match. Upon landing on his feet Chicken Mask Jr. sets off into the ropes, shooting back with a clothesline attempt. Rodez ducks underneath the flailing wing however, charging the ropes himself and soaring back at Chicken Mask Jr. with a flying forearm! Faster than you can say 'That one was for Terry Taylor, biatch', Leon pops up and does a quick rooster strut rather than go for the cover. He has other ideas, as he pulls Chicken Mask Jr. back up, locking on a 3/4 facelock and pointing to the turnbuckles. COLE Start writing that Feedback... With Chicken Mask Jr. trailing behind, Leon runs to the corner... ...but is denied Feedback THIS, as Chicken Mask Jr. shoves him off, sending him chest first into the buckles! Incidentally, you can and should still feedback this. Anyway, the winded 24/7 Champion stumbles back out of the corner and right into the waiting Chicken Mask Jr., who snatches the right arm into a...yeah, you guessed it, a chickenwing. CM Jr. then pulls Rodez down with the left arm pinned down too, into a modified crucifix... 1... 2... NO! COLE Wow, almost! COACH You know, having Alix Spezia as the Champion was bad enough, but if we have a [i]Chicken[/i] holding our 24/7 Championship, we might as well just pack up and go back to our day jobs right now. COLE You have a day job? Grimacing under his mask and showing some rare humanity, Chicken Mask Jr. wraps on a front facelock to keep Leon controlled. He's a chicken, sure, but he knows his psychology. Rodez fights to his feet despite the pressure being put on his neck by The Precocious Prince Of Poultry and tries to take out the legs, but Chicken Mask Jr. keeps a wide base. "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" COACH There we go, a sense of some normality finally. Hunting for an escape, Leon does grabs a leg and looks to rip it from the carcass. Like Thanksgiving. Only in August. And with chicken. Chicken Mask Jr. wriggles the leg back and lands a knee up into the chest, followed by a second. But The Silky Smooth One is not deterred for too long by these skinny chicken legs and lifts Chicken Mask Jr. up, then guides him down across a knee with an Inverted Atomic Drop! "YYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE Right to the giblets! COACH And welcome back to cloud cuckoo land. COLE Ha! That's the spirit Coach. COACH Wha...ah, CRAP! A clothesline by Leon follows up and sends Chicken Mask Jr. rolling for a reprieve on the outside. Rodez is happy to take his own reprieve in the ring too, having taken the majority of the punishment in the match, though not really 'hurt' as such. He just welcomes the rest. However, that rest may not last much longer, as on the outside Chicken Mask Jr. takes another curious sniff underneath the ring skirt...only this time, he doesn't come out empty handed. Pulling himself up onto the apron, Chicken Mask Jr. clutches in his right hand a non-descript but familiar to anyone who's watched wrestling for any noteable amount of time black bag. COLE Hey, hang on just a minute. I know there's No Disqualifications in 24/7 Title matches, but this is stepping over the line! We don't need this! The crowd begin to catch on and a nervous murmur goes up as Chicken Mask Jr. enters the ring. Referee Charles Robinson pleads with him to dump the bag, but CM Jr. just shrugs him aside and pulls away the tie. Opening up the back, Chicken Mask Jr. then reaches inside and Leon's eyes grow wide as saucers, as he scatters a handful of the contents across the ring canvas, then tips the entire bag, covering the ring canvas with thousands and thousands of... ...CHICKEN FEED!?! "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?" COLE OH, MY~! COACH Do you think the SWF is hiring yet? Shock and fear turns to confusion as Chicken Mask Jr. steps cautiously through the bird seed and approaches Rodez, who quickly has to shake himself back into the world of reality and pop him with a punch to the gut before he can attack. Rodez then grabs Chicken Mask Jr. by the mask and looks to turn him towards the bird seed. Then he realises it's bird seed, pauses, wonders what the hell is going on and gets caught by a knee. Chicken Mask Jr. isn't as confused of course and he drags Leon over, setting him in a standing headscissors and calling for a powerbomb. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Oh no, he's gonna powerbomb him into that razor sharp chicken feed. For the love of all that's holy somebody stop him!! Reaching down, Chicken Mask Jr. wraps the arms around the waist, giving Leon a quick few pecks to the spine before lifti...NO! Leon blocks. Another lif...NO! Again, Leon is too heavy. Panicking, Chicken Mask Jr. goes with what works and pecks away at the spine again to weaken Rodez up some more before his next try. But this time as CM Jr. tries to hoist the Champion up, Rodez snaps himself upright and backdrops Chicken Mask Jr. overhead... ...sending him plummeting... ...RIGHT INTO THE DEVESTATING PILE OF CHICKEN FEED!!!!!!!! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" COLE OH MAH GAWD!! SOMEBODY CALL 911 AND ASK FOR THE VETERINARIAN~!~!!~!!! "HOLY CLUCK!" "HOLY CLUCK!" "HOLY CLUCK!" "HOLY CLUCK!" Chicken Mask Jr. sells the chicken feed like a thousand white hot knives being pierced through his skin, rolling around in the bird seed to the nauseation of referee Charles Robinson. Even Rodez watches on, part disgust and part disbelief on his face, as Chicken Mask Jr. tries desperately to swat the seeds out of his back. Chicken Mask Jr. is clearly in agony. So it's a good job Rodez is there to put him out of his misery. *SMACK!* Superkick, right to the jaw, puts Chicken Mask Jr. down and sets up the cover... 1... 2... 3!! *DINGDINGDING!* "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" And just like that, it's (some would say thankfully) over. Rolling off of Chicken Mask Jr., Rodez brushes some chicken feed from his arm with a grimace and quickly rolls out of the ring to collect his belt. And check himself out of bizarro world ASAP. BUFFER Your winner of the match and still the OAOAST 24/7 Champion, LEON RRRRROOOOODDEEEEEZZZZZ!! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" COLE Well, that was certainly different. Leon Rodez, still 24/7 Champion. And while we clear those lethal seeds from the ring, let's go to something else. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
