King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2006 COLE Welcome back to HeldDOWN~!, where right now it's all change at Sofa Central. Coach has gone to refill the popcorn bowls and I'm instead joined by two very familiar faces, The Global Party Exchange, here to impart their knowledge of tag team wrestling during this HI-YAH Tag Team Championship Match. Hopefully we won't get taken off the air mid-way through, but if we do you can continue watching on OAOAST.com. JAX Hasn't that site been down for like 2 years? STATIC Wait, we had one to begin with? COLE [shifty eyes] So, uh, as we said HI-YAH Tag Team Championship on the line. The Champions D*LUX make their first defence of the belts in their second reign, as they take on the OAOAST's perrenial hired hitmen, The South Central Militia. And this will be by no means be an easy test for the Champs. STATIC Let's hope they've been watchin' those best of GPX DVDs a little closer this week. "JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT! JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT!" That intro to A1's "First To Believe", can only mean one thing. And painful as the song it leads into may be the crowd rise to their feet regardless for the hot slice of pop about to be dished out. Jade Rodez is first to emerge, skipping out through the entrance doors with a typically angellic smile on her face. Either side, "Showtime" Shayne Brave and "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant hit a triumphant pose of their manager, their washboard abs hidden to the world by the fancy HI-YAH Tag Straps back in their possession. Jade and team soak up the energy of the crowd for a few seconds before Jade points the way on to the ring. And like the good tag team they are, Shayne and Tyler do as told and bound on down the ramp. COLE Alright! D*LUX, tagging hands like it's going out of fashion! STATIC So, kinda like their gimmick then? BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the HI-YAH World Tag Team Championships! Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by their manager, Ms. JADE RODEZ! Both hailing from the state of Michigan. At a total combined weight of three hundred and ninety seven pounds... "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE... "TREMENDOUS" TYLER... the two-time, current, reigning and defending HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions... D * LLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" JAX Bah gawd Johnny Jam, wouldya look at these two young bluechippers? Hailin' from the heart of Michigan... STATIC So, in other words, Canada. JAX Watch your mouth, brah. Hand-slapping their way down the ramp, Tyler and Shayne climb to the apron and hoist Jade from the floor as has become customary. The trio then enter the ring, which is when The GPX's presence at ringside gets their attention. The 2/3rds of the 6-Man Tag Team Champions stand from the sofa, as Jade tries to drag D*LUX away from the ropes. STATIC These two dawgs, they're loaded with potential! But you ain't gonna pay the bills on potential alone, Johnny Jam. Maybe that's why they took a surefire earner, stole it and gave it a 21st Century twist... JAX 20th Century. STATIC ...and pretended like they're something special! And that's what this business was built on. Tyler and Shayne are still distracted by The GPX's commentary, good enough lip-readers to know they're being run down. And even the sounds of "Don't Believe The Hype" by Public Enemy don't draw their attention away from Johnny and Scotty. The entrance doors part and out stride The South Central Militia. Already The SCM are disposing of their shades and bandanas and the like, as they see and opportunity and stride to the ring with a little more eagerness than usual. BUFFER And introducing the challengers. Hailing from South Central L.A... at a total combined weight of five hundred and two pounds. MARCELLUS "ONE EYE" WALLACE... VINCENT "WHITEY" FORD... THE SOUTH CENTRAL MILLLIIITTIIIIIAAAAAA!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Announcement over, Buffer makes a quick exit as Vinny slides into the ring. And despite Jade's warnings D*LUX don't turn in time, getting jumped from behind by Vinny as Marcellus labours behind a little but now joins his parter in the ring. Jade wisely makes a quick exit, as The SCM begin to club away on D*LUX to the amusement of The GPX. *DINGDINGDING!* COLE From behind, The Militia get the jump on the Champions! STATIC Aw, too bad. I guess these two got too caught up lookin' in this livin' mirror here. Immediately, the LA duo's weight advantage comes into play as D*LUX, still yet to remove their denim green jackets or even their title belts are overwhelmed by the challengers. The SCM dump Shayne from the ring before loading Tyler up for a double whip. As Tyler rebounds, Marcellus steps aside briefly as Vinny cuts the boybander off with a boot to the gut, doubling him over as Moe then returns with a knee strike to the side of the head! The strike almost twists "The Tremendous One" inside out as The SCM bump knuckles in a show of team unity. Off comes the jacket now as Vinny drags Tyler up again, whipping him over the back with his very own denim clothing while Marcellus bundles Shayne back off the apron. Back in centre ring, Vinny hooks Tyler down with a clothesline and grabs a quick pin... 1... 2... Kickout. By the hair, "Whitey" drags Tyler up again and hooks him down with a second, more measured clothesline. The veteran of the team then calls Marcellus over and holds Tyler in place, as ol' "One Eye" lands a skull crushing headbutt! SANTANA L.A REPRESENT!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" STATIC Yeah, nice going there hotshot. The crowd are unsurprisingly unreceptive to Vinny's yell. The SCM seem a little distracted by the boos and can't resist talking some trash in return, as is their brash nature. However, because the fans aren't in the ring they end up taking their attention away from their opponents, as Shayne Brave is back up on the apron. Despite having one good eye, Moe is the first to spot Shayne and alerts Vinny to the problem. But as they move towards "Showtime", he vaults to the top and springboards in with a crossbody...CAUGHT! The SCM collectively catch Brave in their arms, preparing to drop him. Or throw him. Pity they can't make their mind up, really. Especially as it gives time for Tyler to stoop through the gap and hit the ropes in front, dropkicking his partner in the back, causing The Militia to topple and Shayne to land on top, sending Jade jumping for joy... 1... 2... NO! Double kickout, with authority, which abruptly stops Jade's jumping. JAX Damn, Leon's sister's really filled out since we first met her. STATIC Too true. If she looked like that back then, I'd'a gave her a lil' Static shock treatment, ya dig? JAX Wasn't she like 16 then? COLE Guys, please! Try to concentrate on the match. Regrouping, D*LUX catch Vinny getting to his feet with a double dropkick, sending him sprawling to the floor. That leaves Marcellus 2 on 1 against the tag team specialists, who look for the same attack again. Marcellus is a bigger man than his partner though and he takes the dropkick with little more than a step back. D*LUX try again and again Marcellus doesn't go down, but he's clearly staggered. So D*LUX perservere and fire off stereo enziguris, to finally knock Moe down! "YYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Finally referee Mark Hebner orders one in and one out, Shayne electing to leave while Tyler takes Moe over with an Oklahoma Roll... 1... 2... Kickout. Tyler traps on a side headlock to keep Moe under control. Or, as best possible with the near sixty pound weight difference. COLE D*LUX finally taking some control now. STATIC D*LUX. Man, could they be more obvious about it? They oughta be called ONI, Originality Not Included. JAX Or GTG. Grand Theft Gimmick. STATIC Nah, that's a little too current for 'em. Tag is made between D*LUX as they look to whip Marcellus off the ropes. The bigman is taken across the ring by the combined efforts of the boyband sensations, but he comes barrelling right back with a double clothesline. D*LUX double duck though, grabbing Moe from behind and hitting a double russian legsweep. Off the ropes comes Shayne as Tyler positions himself, backdropping his partner up and down across Wallace. Cover is made, as Hebner points Tyler out of the ring... 1... 2... Kickout. Knowing that he can't stand toe to toe with "One Eye", Shayne rushes over to the corner and hops up to the middle rope, waiting on Marcellus to get back up. The bigman of the match wanders in and takes a WICKED~! right hand to the jaw that'd have even Logan Mann wincing! Shayne then reaches out and hooks the head, ready for a Tornado DDT... ...but he gets caught coming off the rope and pitched forward... ...only to land on his feet and connect with a front dropkick as Moe wanders towards him. Marcellus stumbles back into the corner and Shayne backs up into the opposite corner, getting a run-up as he charges in and soars, squashing Moe in the corner with a leaping elbow. That leaves Moe staggered, long enough for D*LUX to make another quick exchange. STATIC Tag in to Johnny Jax. COLE Tyler Bryant. STATIC Same diff'. Makeshift planning is made on Tyler's way in as he extends his hand, allowing Shayne to whip him in. Marcellus has recovered by now though and avoids the splash in the corner! Tyler ends up slumped in the corner as "Showtime" Shayne now runs in and he gets turned virtually inside out with a massive, powerhouse of a clothesline! "OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" JAX :D COLE What a clothesline! JAX Oh ho, you ain't kiddin'! Man that was great, you got flipped right over Scotty!! STATIC And how. Can I get some ice out here for my neck or somethin', that's gonna smart in the morning. Out from the corner staggers Tyler now. Jade tries to wave him off, frantically trying to warn Tyler not to turn around and to his credit he doesn't. Trouble is, he keeps stumbling backwards and falls into the waiting arms of "One Eye", Marcellus hooking the left arm around the head from behind as he extends the thumb on his right hand to the crowd. Moe then cuts the thumb across his throat...and JAMS it into the side of Tyler's throat!! Tyler collapses in a fitting heap and chokes for breath, while Marcellus is warned by the referee for what may or may not have been an illegal strike. There's enough area of doubt that Hebner doesn't actually call the disqualification though. COLE He calls that the Silver Bullet. STATIC I call that move theft! Is there anyone else in this damn company who ain't rippin' anyone else off, besides us and J'OH? JAX Hey joo! Mah name... haha!... eesss JJJOOOHNNYYY... haha!... STATIC Cut it out J. JAX Just as well. I don't think I oughta break one of these 'cigars' I gots. COLE Did Coachman sell you them? On seconds thoughts, nevermind. By now, Marcellus has made the tag and Vincent Santana is in. Tyler is still writhing on the canvas so with no sign of his tag team partner around to make the save, Vinny decides to attempt a pin... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Vinny brings Tyler back up, whilst on the outside Jade is doing her managerial duties by checking on Shayne Brave's condition. She keeps a nervous eye on the ring though, as Vinny nails Tyler with a right hand. A second. Three. And a fourth, sending Tyler slumping back into a neutral corner. A wring of the arm sets up and irish whip from Santana, sending Tyler cross-ring and into the opposite buckles with a thud. Vinny then charges in on the follow-up...and eats two feet to the face! Shaking it off, the man affectionately known as "Whitey" tries again...running into another raised boot! Hope is built up for the crowd as Tyler now exits the corner and swings for Santana. But Vinny ducks his head and catches Tyler, hoiking him up and throwing him down with a modified Rock Bottom! COLE The Throwdown! STATIC Gee, that's an original statement. Looking disturbingly natural, Vinny drags the motionless body by the feet into the position he wants, before exiting to the apron. Hooking the top rope, the deceptively agile Santana then flips back in with a hílo, driving his bodyweight down across the chest. Cover is made, Vinny hooking the near leg... 1... 2... But the far leg finds it's way onto the bottom rope! "YYEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" STATIC Hey Johnny, you wanna pull a run-in? COLE :O JAX Nah, I'm good. COLE You two are unbelievable. The SCM make an exchange now and Marcellus is now the legal man again. Together the Militia ignore Hebner's protests and his 5 count, teaming up to shoot Tyler into the ropes and elevating him up onto the shoulders. Together. In unison, the duo then flip Tyler off the shoulders and down with a Double FU! COLE Not just an FU...but a DOUBLE FU! JAX Yeesh. Out exits Vinny, confidently dusting his hands on sight of Marcellus' relaxed pinfall... 1... 2... SAVE BY SHAYNE! The hotheaded Wallace chases Brave out of the ring, Hebner having to keep the duo seperated, which allows Vinny to sneak into the ring and put the boots to Tyler in the meantime. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE If Tyler doesn't soon make the tag, then you two might find yourselves with a different target of abuse, because D*LUX might not be HI-YAH Tag Team Champions for much longer. STATIC It ain't about belts, it's about respect! I don't give a shit who's holding what belt, this is a matter of pride. Saving face. We've got gold, we're not beggin' for more. That crap's for glorywhores. COLE ...and we at the OAOAST apologise for that language folks. JAX Why? It's not like the 'Pres' is gonna watch this, he's too busy working him and his millionaire busboys a payrise somewheres. COLE Oh man. Control seems to have been retained, as Brave is sent back to his corner and watches on anxiously. Scooping Tyler up, Wallace slams the Auburn Hills native in the centre of the ring. Moe then backs off the ropes and leaps high, coming down with a big elbow, which stays over Tyler's chest... 1... 2... Kickout! "TY - LER!" "TY - LER!" "TY - LER!" "TY - LER!" Marcellus now looks for the end, setting himself in a front headscissors to allow himself to lift Tyler up, back to belly. In near certain peril either way he goes, Tyler panics and starts to squirm and struggle, Marcellus hanging onto the legs at the top despite the endeavour of the youngster. So Tyler slams his feet together, sandwiching Moe's head between. A second sandwich has Moe's bell rung. And a third time finally stuns Marcellus enough for Tyler to slip down the back, trying for a sunset flip. But he isn't strong enough to bring the 265 pounder down without assistance, so Shayne Brave rushes in and dropkicks the off-balance Wallace, dropping him back into the sunset flip... 1... 2... NO! Rolling back through to his feet, Tyler is nimble enough to duck underneath a sprawling attempt by Marcellus to snare him, hitting the ropes behind and chopblocking out one of "One Eye" knees, almost turning him into "One Leg" in the process. Santana tries to get in for the save, but Tyler cuts him off halfway through the ropes, dropkicking him to the floor. With the adrenalin still flowing, Tyler then wheels around and launches off of Marcellus' planted leg... *SMACK!* ...and nailing him behind the head with a Shining Enziguri!! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE There's the turnaround and now, Tyler Bryant has to make the tag to his fresh partner! JAX What's he gonna do? He's about a buck seventy, how's he gonna beat this big dude? STATIC With whatever we beat him with last, probably. "TY - LER!" "TY - LER!" "TY - LER!" "TY - LER!" The crowd rise to route Tyler towards a tag as the adrenaline has faded a little, forcing him to wearily crawl hand over foot to his corner. Brave is waiting with tag rope in hand, arm outstretched as Tyler crawls, crawls and crawls some more...AND GETS THE TAG! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" STATIC Hot tag! JAX Did we invent that? STATIC Probably. Faster than you can say house en fuego (which probably isn't that fast come to think of it), Shayne leaps into the ring and comes down across Marcellus' back with a back senton! Shayne pops right back up and like a lime green blur he fends off Vinny with a baseball slide, before scrambling out the rest of the way through the middle and bottom ropes, heading towards the top. Marcellus drags himself back up and Shayne soars, connecting with a missile dropkick that fells the mighty (proverbial) tree! On top scrambles "Showtime"... 1... 2... Santana clubs Shayne from behind, breaking the pin... *SMACK!* ...earning him a Yakuza Kick from Tyler Bryant! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" JAX Hmm, who does that remind ya'll of? STATIC I'll take Johnny Jax for $300. COLE Lots of people use the Yakuza Kick, I really doubt he took it specifically from you. D*LUX now regroup and wait on Marcellus to get back to his feet, Tyler meeting him with a quick kick to the gut. Together Shayne and Tyler grab an arm each wring them out, kicking the legs out from underneath Moe and dropping him to his knees. Shayne and Tyler then hit the ropes on either side and fire off basement dropkicks in stereo, sandwiching Moe's head in between. COLE New Kicks On The Block! 1... 2... 3- NO! COLE I get the feeling D*LUX would be better off focusing on Santana. They're going to have a tough time keeping "One Eye" down, even with 2 on 1 offence, for the pinfall and I doubt they'll get a submission out of him. Shayne now keeps Vinny in check as Tyler crouches, waiting on Marcellus to collect himself before running the ropes. On the way back Marcellus catches Tyler under the arms and pitches him high into the air with little to no effort. Tyler is able to adjust in mid-air and counter with a dropkick, but pretty much bounces off Moe without dropping him to the canvas. Another head of steam is built though and the persistant Tyler Bryant charges at Moe...who backdrops him high over the top and to the arena floor! "OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Soon to follow is Moe though, Shayne catching him unawares with a dropkick and managing to bundle him over the top and to the floor. That leaves just Shayne and Vinny in the ring and that seems a slightly fairer match... *SMACK!* "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!" ...save for the fact Shayne gets his lights kicked out as he turns around, of course. COLE Superkick by Vincent Santana! Where did he pull that from? Learning from previous mistakes, Vinny drags Shayne away from the ropes before calling Hebner down and demanding the count... 1... 2... NEW CHA... NO, KICKOUT! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" The kickout has Jade leaping for joy again, but it sucks the energy right out of Santana as he argues the count with referee Hebner. But he doesn't stay deterred for too long, backing into a corner and slapping his forearm for all to see. COLE Vinny's looking for that flying forearm, a move made famous by another wrestling Santana back in the day. STATIC Yeah, but he didn't have no steel plates in his forearm. JAX That was that other guy, right? STATIC Heh. We can't even have original injuries around here. Watch him tear his quad. Vinny revs up the car, preparing for the Drive-By. Worried for her team, Jade tries to plead with Hebner that "Whitey" is about to use a foreign object and to do something about it. The pleading is futile though, as Vinny points a finger down her way and yelling at her to shut up before she gets hurt, before turning and charging... ...right in a Merry Tyler Gore Show, Bryant flipping over into the customary jacknife pin as Hebner dives into position... 1... 2... Shayne cuts off Marcellus... AND THERE'S THE 3!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING!* COLE A desperation save, turned into a pin and it gets D*LUX the victory! Vincent didn't see it coming! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners... and STILL HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions, "Showtime" Shayne and "Tremendous" Tyler... D * LLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXX!!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" In the ring Tyler and Shayne high-five and embrace like good team-mates should, as Jade rushes to ringside to collect the HI-YAH Tag Titles for her team. But when she gets there, the timekeeper's table is strangely empty. Standing on the HeldDOWN~! sofa, smug smiles appear on the faces of Scotty Static and Johnny Jax as they raise D*LUX's HI-YAH Tag Team Title belts for the crowd to see. Jax teases Jade with the belt he's holding, dangling it within reach if she dares to try and take it. Meanwhile, D*LUX finally spot what's going on and look to each other in confusion. COLE Come on guys, what are you doing!? STATIC Great win dawgs...but you won them under false pretences, didnt'cha. By rights, these are ours. JAX You want 'em...come get 'em! Luckily, Tyler is a good lip-reader and he relays what The GPX just said over their headsets to Shayne before bailing from the ring... ...not expecting his partner to collapse behind him, as JAMIE O'HARA skids into the ring and clocks Shayne in the back of the head with his third of the 6-Man Tag Team Championships!! Tyler hears the reaction of the crowd, which is strangely mixed, and turns around to see what happened. And that's when The GPX pounce, scrambling over the announce table and pounding Tyler from behind!! COLE HEY! Come on, what the hell!? Static and Jax puts the boots to Tyler, before pitching him into the ring, where O'Hara is laying the icecreams down on Shayne. Watching on helplessly, Jade screams to the back for some help, but none seems to be coming as The Hooligans continue to beat down on D*LUX with stomps and kicks and the odd forearm here and there. Tossing off his doo-rag, O'Hara then exits to the apron and gives some signals to The GPX, Static continuing the stomps as Jax drags Shayne Brave across towards the corner. O'Hara quickly scales to the top and stands tall, showing off his nonchalant, natural balance while Jax places one of the HI-YAH Tag Titles across Brave's head. O'Hara gives the thumbs up, before backflipping off and landing an awesome SHOOTING STAR LEGDROP across the face!!! COLE Da Bling Thing! "YYEEEEEAAAAHHHHH - BOOOOOO!" COLE Damnit, this is completely uncalled for! D*LUX have done nothing to provoke this, Johnny Jax and Scotty Static seem to have this chip on their damn shoulders about the 'old' GPX and this is the result! And they're not even done! With Shayne KOed and bleeding from the belt being smushed into his face, The Hooligans now focus their attentions on Tyler Bryant. Dragging the match-winning D*LUXer up to his feet, Static locks on a double underhook, O'Hara nursing his tailbone but still encouraging his 6-Man Tag partner on, as he lifts Tyler up...and DRILLS him with the Spiked Punch!!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Ugh! Right on his head. D*LUX just came through a tough title defence and now this. With D*LUX laid to waste, the kneeling Static smirks as he accepts the other HI-YAH Title from Jax and drops it over Tyler's body. O'Hara mocks the despairing Jade Rodez from the ring, the crueller parts of the audience laughing along with him, while "Make Her Say" hits and The GPX stand over the supposed successors to their former boyband throne. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
