Tony149 0 Report post Posted August 12, 2006 (edited) [i]MONEY, MONEY, MONEY, MONEY...[b][color=#009900]MONEYMAKER[/color][/b]![/i] The segment opens with a close-up of a sign hung on a wire fence: "POOL PARTY AHEAD. FOR THE RICH AND FAMOUS ONLY!" On a scorching hot summer day, the coolest place to be is at billionaire Theodore Moneymaker's pool party. Some of the biggest names in business and entertainment on hand to enjoy the festivities. Paris. Nicole. The Donald. Gates. Hef. But the biggest name of them all... ...[b][color=#996633]THEODORE MONEYMAKER[/color][/b]. Surrounded by bikini-clad beauties, Theodore floats on a custom made raft designed in the shape of a $ sign while wearing his trademark white silk smoking jacket and pants, reading the Wall Street Journal through rose-colored sunglasses! With the snap of his fingers, a WAITER brings Theodore his SMOKING PIPE and a COCKTAIL. * SIP * THEODORE Ah. Refreshing. Thank you, little man. Got a light? Theodore sets his drink on one of the raft's many cupholders. 6 in total. 3 on each side. Ever the tipper, Theodore reaches into the inner breast pocket of his jacket and breaks out da money, placing a $100 bill on the waiter's tray! WAITER :) The waiter flicks on the LIGHTER. Just as he's about to pick up his tip, Theodore snags the $100 bill and...LIGHTS IT UP FOR HIS PIPE! WAITER :o * PUFF * * PUFF * * PUFF * * WHEW * THEODORE (to waiter) What, you didn't think that was for you? Your one day's work here has already made you more money than you'll earn in a year serving the rest of the little people at Denny's. In fact, just by looking at ya, I'd say your paycheck today could end up being your retirement fund. You'll never see a payday like this again. (manically laugh) Now scram. I'm neglecting my guests. WAITER :( THEODORE (to camera) Heh Heh Heh Heh. Nothing like a beautiful day at the pool to beat the heat. Welcome to my party. Theodore Moneymaker back again to share more of his infinite wisdom. Didn't I tell you life is wonderful if you're the "Billion Dollar Heir"? Look at it. Fine food, fine wine, fine women. Who else could get the Donald in swim trunks, or bring Hef out of the mansion? Only the Billion Dollar Heir, baby. That's the power of money. And in due time every so-called OAOAST superstar will learn what everybody in business already knows -- Theodore Moneymaker always closes the deal. Whether it's in the boardroom or the bedroom. Hahahahahaha! MAN (Off-screen) Hey, moneybags. THEODORE :huh: MAN (CONT'D) CANNONBALL! * SPLASH * Theodore's raft overturns. Cries for help and laughter in the distance can be heard. A head pops out of the water. The WAITER who was humiliated. WAITER (laughing; gesturing) You can't see me! THEODORE Neither can you. Theodore clubs the waiter from behind and shoves his head underwater to teach him a lesson. Theodore pulls the gagging waiter up and deposits him in the BANK VAULT (cobra clutch sleeper)! Out like a light, Theodore tosses the man onto the the raft and climbs onto the diving board, soaking wet, turning his back to the pool before delivering a perfectly executed BACK ELBOW DROP! * SPLASH * Theodore drags the waiter to the front gate and throws him out in front of hundreds of people. It turns out Theodore somehow managed to commandeer a public pool for a day, leaving women and children to blister under the hot sun. THEODORE You can forgot about your paycheck being your retirement fund. In the words of a personal friend of mind...You're fired! Go join the rest of the little people at the unemployment line tomorrow morning. (to camera) I'm sorry for that. You're my invited guests. But I had to take care of business. And I do believe I took care of business. Just like I will when I step inside the ring. Because money talks, bullshit walks. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! [i]You break the laws You hustle, you deal, you steal from us all Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Moneytalk Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Moneytalk Moneytalks Moneytalks B.S. Walks Moneytalks[/i] Edited August 12, 2006 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
