King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted August 27, 2006 As the impromptu theme song of AngleSlam 2006, "Miami" by Will Smith, plays through the arena we're panning through the crowd in the jam-packed American Airlines Arena to cater to the fans who decided to bring signs to the show! Signs such as: "WHERE IS CHRISTIAN WRIGHT?" "IF TEAM LITHUANIA WIN, WE RIOT!" "WHERE IS BOHEMOTH?" "120 DAYS 'TILL CHRISTMAS!" ...and many other unimportant opinions. Man, wrestling fans are dumb. And speaking of dumb... COLE Man Coach, it's been a HOT night in Miami so far! COACH HOLLA~! COLE And speaking of hot, up next we've got hot boyband on boyband action! COACH And all without worrying about the threat of spyware. Wowza! Suddenly, a giant puff of orange smoke engulfs the commentary table and Double C are dragged away by the throats by two monstrous men. One fan can be heard pondering "When the hell did Hell's Hitmen start working here again!?", as as if by magic the soon to be rotting carcasses of Coach and Cole are replaced by a much better commentating team, Tony Schiavone (bare with me) and Jesse "The Body" Ventura (bin-go)! SCHIAVONE Wow...how the hell did we get here? VENTURA Who cares Schiavone!? A payday's a payday, so just read the damn autocue. SCHIAVONE Okay, well Tony Schiavone alongside Jesse "The Body" Ventura and we're here to call the action in this next match for the HI-YAH World Tag Team Championships, between the Champions D*LUX and the hostile challenger, The Global Party Exchange. VENTURA But it's not just about the titles Schiavone. It's about pride and it's about integrity. These D*LUX kids have been running around for a while now, playing the boyband and that's gotten under the skin of Johnny Jax and Scotty Static. They feel like they're being ripped off, even though they've moved on from their days as happy go lucky boybanders. It's a matter of principle. I know how they feel too, everybody wants to rip-off The Body, Tony. Trouble is, there's only ever gonna be one Jesse "The Body"! SCHIAVONE What about Tony Brannigan? VENTURA ...that's different! SCHIAVONE Mmm-hmm. Well, you brought up The GPX's problem with D*LUX and ever since the last edition of OAOAST Syndicated, which incidently returns in two months on October 28th, they've been making their lives very difficult. But after what we saw last Thursday night, it seems D*LUX are sick of being treated like pushovers. They're here to fight tonight and to prove that they're not wannabees to anyone and that they're the top young tag team in the business today. And with that, let's send it up to the ring. .:CUE: O-Town, "Make Her Say":. "In a world full of posers, phonies, and pure wannabees, there finally emerges a group which has come to set the record straight. so, all you suckers better recognize, ya heard can you say uhhh na na na na..." A noteably mixed reaction goes up as the oh-so familiar sounds of O-Town sound out through an OAOAST arena and lead the way for The Global Party Exchange. Striding down the rampway, Static and Jax are in no mood to 'play' tonight as they virtually ignore the fans around them, both positive and negative. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following tag team contest is sanctioned by HI-YAH Promotions and is scheduled for one fall, to be contested under HI-YAH Rules. 20 counts will be oberserved at ringside and throwing an opponent over the top rope will be deemed an automatic disqualification. In the event of the champions being disqualified, the titles will change hands! Introducing first, currently in the ring, the challengers. At a total combined weight of four hundred, thirty seven pounds... they are former OAOAST World Tag Team Champions and two-thirds of the current OAOAST Six-Man Tag Team Champions... the team of SCOTTY STATIC and JOHNNY "JAM" JACKSON... THE GLLOOBBAALL PAARRTTYY... EEEXXXXXXXXXXCCHHHHAAAAANNGGEEEEEEE!!!!! Another mixed reaction goes up for one of the most recognisable teams in the OAOAST's history, as they simply glare down the aisle, waiting for their opponents. SCHIAVONE As you said Jess', it's not about the titles for The GPX tonight, it's about as they see it 'saving face'. VENTURA It might not be about the titles, but that won't stop them from winning those straps if the opportunity arises. The GPX are one of the best teams in this company's history and you don't become that without a natural will to win and to succeed. "JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT! JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT!" The Miami crowd rise to their feet as "First To Believe" by A1 begins to play and the delightful Jade Rodez leads the way for her tag team combination, D*LUX! The GPX watch on distinctly unimpressed, as Jade stands between her two men, "Showtime" Shayne bodypopping to the music while "Tremendous" Tyler looks out into the crowd with a beaming, pearly white smile that has the women in the crowd screaming in passion! It's AngleSlam, a big deal for these two comparitive newcomers. Pointing on to the ring, Jade leads her yellow-dyed denim clad combination down the aisle, as The GPX beckon them on. BUFFER And introducing the opponents. Being led to the ring by their manager, Ms. JADE RODEZ! They weigh in at a total combined weight of three hundred, ninety seven pounds... the reigning, defending HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions... "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE BRAVE... "TREMENDOUS" TYLER BRYANT... they are D*LLLLLLLUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" All positive reaction for D*LUX as they rush the ring, dispensing of the belts to Jade on the way and perform STEREO DIVES into the ring, wiping Scotty and Johnny out with outside-in Planchas!! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" SCHIAVONE D*LUX are wasting no time in taking the fight to The GPX tonight! *DINGDINGDING!* Tyler mounts Jax and rains down a succession of right hands as it's Static and Shayne doing battle in the ring, Static sidestepping Shayne with a lucha bi-paso and shoving him into the ropes. Back shoots Shayne and Static sets up for a lift. But Shayne is a step ahead, hauling himself up The GPXer's side and hooking the legs around the head, sending Static tumbling over with a headscissors takeover! Static comes right back up and gets taken over with an armdrag. And a standing dropkick puts Static to the floor, leaving D*LUX alone in the ring with Jax. Tyler hauls him up and sends the other GPXer to the ropes. In skips Shayne and D*LUX take their man over with a double backdrop, which has Jade clapping away gleefully. SCHIAVONE And here's where D*LUX are at their most deluxe, when working as a tag team. VENTURA Or cheating. SCHIAVONE I wouldn't say that Jess'. VENTURA In tag team wrestling, you're supposed to have one in and one out. They've got a five count to get in and out...now you tell me Schiavone, how long have they been in the ring at the same time? D*LUX quickly recover Jax before he can roll to the outside and take him by the arms for another whip, this time a double. Back rebounds Jax, taking two fists right to the gut to double him over. Each hooking an arm and a leg, Shayne and Tyler then lift the larger of the opponents up and drop him across the knees with their double gutbuster. SCHIAVONE The Cowell Movement! VENTURA You didn't answer my question. SCHIAVONE Well Jess', all four men were in the ring to start, so the referee hasn't had chance to get one man out yet. VENTURA There we four men in the ring because The GPX were jumped before the bell, ALSO illegal! As D*LUX celebrate their move, they get a little carried away and don't spot Scotty Static entering the ring. From behind he wipes out Shayne, then gets caught in a slugfest with Tyler. A slugfest which Tyler wins, until Static lowbridges him, pulling him by the waistband of his jeans, right out of the ring. Landing with a thud on the arena floor, Tyler uses the barricade to pull himself up. Any assistance from his manager has to wait though, as in the ring Static is on the move, soaring through the middle and top ropes with a SUICIDE DIVE!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Static and Tyler are down on the floor now, leaving Shayne and Jax in the ring. And with Jax still holding his gut after the Cowell Movement, Shayne goes soaring overhead, snaring him with a sunset flip... 1... 2... Kickout! Rolling through to his feet, Jax pushes forward, stacking Shayne on his shoulders... 1... 2... ...Shayne kicks out, but immediately gets hoisted off the canvas by the strongest man in the match, going up for a powerbomb. However, Shayne is able to plant the hands on the head on the way up, pushing over into another sunset flip... 1... 2... Kickout! SCHIAVONE Fast-paced action from the get-go here between these two exciting tag teams! Both men are back up and Jax manages to slow Shayne down now, booting him in the gut. With an irish whip he then sends Shayne into the turnbuckles and looks to follow in with a clothesline. Shayne gets a boot up to block. But Jax shakes it off and charges again...into another boot. With Triple J dazed, up to the middle rope vaults Shayne, reeling Jax in for a Tornado DDT. He hooks the head and gets the vault... ...but Static rolls in in mid-move and The GPX counter with a Spinebuster/Neckbreaker combo! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!" Static points at referee Mark Hebner to make the count as Jax presses down the shoulders... 1... 2... No! VENTURA If The GPX can ground this match then they've got the advantage. They've got the ruthless streak and a lot of anger driving them tonight. And besides that, this referee's a moron and he still hasn't got control of the match. Static and Jax are the ones left two on one in the ring now and it's their turn for some double-team action. Pulling Shayne to his feet, Jax hooks him up for a side russian legsweep, as Static explodes off the ropes... *SMACK!* ...and NAILS Shayne with the Yakuza Kick, into the legsweep! Into the nearest camera, Static dedicates the move to fellow 6-Man Tagger Jamie O'Hara, who was taken out on Thursday of course, while Jax takes care of the pin... 1... 2... Kickout! Looking in a little bit more of a hurry than his partner, Static rushes over and drags Brave to his feet, bringing him into a standing headscissors. As Jax clambers up The GPX then adjust and look to take "Showtime" up with a combined powerbomb, over a shoulder a-piece...but Shayne floats down the back to safety! The GPX end up stumbling forward in unison, just as Tyler Bryant vaults up top and soars in, catching Static and Jax with a boot each, sending both sprawling back out to the rampway!! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" SCHIAVONE Springboard Double Front Dropkick! VENTURA I'm begging this referee to get two guys in and two guys out! SCHIAVONE Well, there are now Jesse. VENTURA I meant from each team! This is a shambles! The GPX regroup on the ramp as Shayne now rallies the crowd behind him, firing up the fans as he springboards to the top. Soaring out down the ramp, he tries to wipe out The GPX with a double crossbody...BUT THEY CATCH HIM! Jade yelps and quickly encourages Tyler to help. He's already doing just that though, running the length of the ring AND WIPING OUT EVERYONE WITH A SOMERSAULT PLANCHA TO THE RAMPWAY!!! TYLER YEAH-UH!! "O - A - O - A - S - T!!" "O - A - O - A - S - T!!" "O - A - O - A - S - T!!" SCHIAVONE And the OAOAST chant goes up in this HI-YAH Tag Team Title Match! VENTURA I've completely lost track of this, what the hell is going on here!? Landing on his feet, Tyler hands out a few high-fives to the fans below him. But he spends too much time making friends and ends up getting jumped from behind by Johnny Jax, kneeing Tyler in the kidneys and sending him off the rampway, down to the aisleway beside it! Tyler manages not to crash into the barricade. But Jax settles that for him, as he takes flight off the ramp AND CRUSHES TYLER INTO THE BARRICADE WITH A STINGER SPLASH!!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" SCHIAVONE OH! There's about a three foot gap either side of the rampway down there and Tyler had nowhere to go! Jax now fires up the fans, who are right beside him where he now stands. But soon those fans are running for cover, as Shayne Brave comes soaring down from the ramp AND LANDS A BODYPRESS, TIPPING HIM AND JAX OVER THE BARRICADE, INTO THE CROWD!! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" VENTURA This is chaos! SCHIAVONE And look at Scotty Static, I think he's got a jump of his own in mind here! VENTURA Why is referee Hebner allowing this? He should be getting Static back into the ring, or at least counting these four out! Over the barricade rolls Tyler too as he tries to help out his partner, leaving the three wrestlers in amongst a sea of vacated chairs, security trying to keep the fans out of the way. Up on the rampway, probably five of six feet over the crowd, Scotty Static is waiting. The three bundle together, with D*LUX trying to fight off the bigger Jax, giving Static a target to aim at. But in mid-run, he stops. Instead, he turns his back on the three... "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..." ...which the crowd shouldn't be disappointed about, as he shuffles backwards until his feet are hanging over the edge of the rampway. And with the crowd encouraging him to dive, Static screams out "HOOLIGANDA". Before, like an olympic diver, he vaults backwards... ...WITH A MOONSAULT, OFF THE RAMP, OVER THE BARRIER AND INTO THE TRIO BELOW, SENDING CHAIRS AND BODIES FLYING ALL OVER THE GOD-DAMN PLACE!!!! "YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" SCHIAVONE OH MY! "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" All four men are down in the chairs now as referee Mark Hebner and Jade Rodez both watch on, open-mouthed from above on the rampway. The fans are going nuts around them and security is having to do their best to keep them away SCHIAVONE All four men are down, deep in the Miami crowd. We knew these four would do anything to get at each other and we assumed it would be athletic, but we never thought we'd see this Jesse. VENTURA I don't know what to say Schiavone. A moonsault off that ramp, into the crowd? SCHIAVONE Scotty Static is a daredevil...all four of these men are. And the referee is being lenient towards them here tonight, knowing just how much these match means to all four and how much this issue needs to be settled here tonight. VENTURA Lenient is putting it mildly, he might as well not even be out here. Static is up now and bringing Shayne up with him, which intiates a slugfest between the two weakened divers. Behind them Jax and Tyler are slower to their feet, but also exchanging frantic punches, the match turning suddenly from a dive exchange to a street brawl as the four begin to scrap through the chairs and through the fans, off towards the backstage area. Static ends up bundled through a row of chairs by Shayne, the brawl no approaching the retreated crowd. *DINGDINGDING!* SCHIAVONE Huh!? The four continue to brawl despite the bell, as in the ring Mark Hebner is busy conversing with Michael Buffer... *CRACK!* "YYEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!" ...missing Shayne Brave getting a chair across the back from Jax! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen...the referee has stopped this match...ruling it to be a NO CONTEST!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" SCHIAVONE Oh wow, that's not a popular decision. VENTURA The first thing the referee's done right all match, about damn time! He knew he couldn't control these four so he's throwing it out. SCHIAVONE I don't think these four care though, they're still brawling! Indeed, the sounding of the bell makes no difference to The GPX and D*LUX, as Jax takes a spill over a barricade at the back of the arena from a Tyler clothesline. Tyler follows him over and lays in some right hands, those two brawling off towards the backstage area now as Static and Shayne are a little way behind but clearly heading the same way. SCHIAVONE Well, an indecisive finish to this one, The GPX and D*LUX are stilling fighting though...I don't think we've heard the last of this! VENTURA Those poor saps in the back sure haven't. HAHA! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
