Thread of matches for a losing Smarkdown

[Angel_Grace_Blue 0]

So, uh, yeah. I didn't really think I'd win, especially since I never really latched on to a finish I liked, and I took Spike's advice of "Rollup", and as we all know, markers just LOVE to see rollup finishes, lollerz. Feedback would be whatevs, not like I'm all "OH NOES, I AM LOSE, MUSTA BEEN TERRARS!", even though, you know, terrars is a serious threats. laaaaaaaaaawlz. (Finally, I think the only reason I had Stephens kick out of the Doom Factor was that, if I won, I wanted to see Toxx/Mike flip out and be all "Blimey!")

 

-------------------

 

SWF Smarkdown returns from a commercial for Frost-brand ice (It's the best selling ice in the Artic Circle), and a dead whale (Not to be confused with Marine Biology's own A Dead Whale, their top cruiserweight) does a quick pan around the Bell Centre, showing off signs in Quebecois, which is doubly useless, as it's the Canadian version of the French language (Fuck Acadian French, those weak ass Acadians are just cheap Cajun knock-offs, regardless of the fact that Cajuns are Acadians that settled in Louisiana), before stopping in front of Mak Francis and the Suicide King.

 

"Welcome back to Smarkdown! It's just about time for the main event, and it should be a very, very interesting match," Mak says.

 

"If by 'interesting' you mean hilariously short, then, yes, interesting is a good word. Jimmy the Doom has no shot against Toxxic. I mean, he just lost to Spike friggin' Jenkins!" King shouts.

 

"And not for the first time, as Jenkins, teaming with Zyon, defeated Jimmy and Manson earlier this year in the Lethal Lottery," Mak points out.

 

"That doesn't really count, though, since that was before MANSON unleashed his true potential. However, I do want to let it be known that the last time the Hardcore champion faced off against the World champ, a Stephens left with a concussion, then again, that Stephens was the Hardcore champ...I don't know what I'm trying to say," says King.

 

"That encounter was also a title for title match," Francis adds. "Anyway, I'm sure these Canadians have some Canadianing to do, so let's get things started."

 

The lights go out and the sound of an army of marching feet echoes throughout the Bell Centre, along with a single word being chanted continuously by the horde of druids.

 

"DOOM!

 

DOOM!

 

DOOM!

 

DOOM!

 

DOOM!"

 

The lights snap back on to reveal druids stretching from the ring up to the top of the stage. The chanting and stomping has ceased, allowing Boots Randolph's "Yakety Sax" to play in the relative quiet of a wrestling show. Jimmy the Doom pokes his head through the curtains and walks out, Lois the Unethical right behind him. Doom walks down the ramp, taking care to keep his four-foot long stovepipe hat perched on his head, while Lois keeps a firm hold of the Hardcore title.

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to tonight's main event! The following match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the Smarks Wrestling Federation World Heavyweight Title! Introducing first, the challenger! He is accompanied by Lois the Unethical, and is the reigning Hardcore champion! From Doomopolis, Doomtopia, he weighs in at two hundred, thirty pounds, the Straight-Bread Sensation, Jimmy the Doom!" Funyon shouts.

 

Jimmy yanks off his stovepipe and punts it into the crowd before sliding into the ring. Lois wanders towards the commentator's table, takes out a Geiger counter, and begins checking for the Crimson Skull with the device.

 

"I know you already feel that Michael Stephens will flat-out destroy Jimmy the Doom, but I can see the Doomtopian presenting a lot of problems for the World champion. He's incredibly tough, but he's not a lumbering slug that Stephens can run circles around," Francis states.

 

"While that is true, Jimmy lacks the kind of pop a lumbering slug has. While Toxxic isn't known for his toughness, it will still take Jimmy a while to chip away at the champ. However, Toxxic has fared well against tough guys that like to kick people in the face. I'm of course talking about Nathaniel Kibagami, and Jimmy the Doom is no Nathaniel Kibagami," King says.

 

"For one, Jimmy's vertebrae aren't fused together," the Franchise points out.

 

"And for two, Nathaniel Kibagami, fused spine or not, has talent, something Jimmy sorely lacks," King replies.

 

Every single light in the arena hits full, and the Smarktron whites out. For a few long moments there is silence, until a looped track of a crowd chant suddenly blasts over the PA System:

 

"COME AND ‘AVE A GO IF YOU THINK YER ‘ARD ENOUGH!

 

COME AND ‘AVE A GO IF YOU THINK YER ‘ARD ENOUGH!"

 

This fades into the crashing opening chord of Boy Sets Fire's "Rookie", and as the Smarktron starts to fade to black jagged white letters flash up one after another to form a familiar phrase:

 

PREPARE TO BE PROVED WRONG...

 

As the spiky guitar riff starts Stephens’s face appears smiling his distinctive lopsided grin before the Smarktron cuts into clips from his matches - the Super Intoxxication on Flesher to win his first World Title, the Glass Jawbreaker on Aecas, the All-Show Brawl with the Insane Luchador - along with clips of him grinning or smirking on the mic. Finally it cuts to footage of him taking Mike Van Siclen off a balcony and through a table with the Toxxic Shock Syndrome, the devastating landing timed to coincide with the-

 

*BOOOM!*

 

-explosion of red pyro all along the soundstage that ignites a quartet of druids! As the drums kick in and the cloaked figures conflagrate, Michael Stephens strides through the smoke and remaining sparks, head down with his hair hiding his eyes and with the World and Tag Titles buckled one over another around his waist. Directly behind him comes Amy Stephens, ready to neutralize Lois should the Unethical One get unruly.

 

"And his opponent, being accompanied by Amy Stephens, he is one half of the tag team champions, and, more importantly tonight, the reigning World Heavyweight champion! From Nottingham in the United Kingdom, he weighed in tonight at two hundred, eighteen pounds, Michael Stephens!" Funyon roars.

 

Both members of the Stephens family walk towards the ring as the crowd shows their approval of the World champion by chanting a name he has been trying vehemently to distance himself from. Those fans are so thoughtful.

 

"TOXXXXX-IC!

 

TOXXXXX-IC!

 

TOXXXXX-IC!"

 

The duo then reaches the bottom of the ramp just before the verse kicks in. Mike crosses his arms briefly in the straight-edge ‘X’, then throws them wide, palms flat to the floor.

 

*bap-bap*

 

*BOOOM!*

 

More red pyro erupts, this time from the ring posts, luckily sparing the remaining druids, and Stephens rolls into the ring under the bottom rope. From there he takes off his coat, removes his shirt and throws it to the crowd, at which point two girls in heavy eyeliner fight over it.

 

"Do those chicks just follow him around, from show to show?" Mak asks.

 

"No, those two are different from a few weeks ago, I can tell," King replies.

 

Stephens unstraps both belts and hands his tag title to Amy for safe keeping, while referee Sexton Hardcastle takes the World title and holds it aloft.

 

"There it is, the biggest prize in the world of professional wrestling, and by winning it here tonight, Jimmy the Doom would certainly be vaulted into the upper echelon of current wrestlers," Mak says.

 

"And seeing as how you never won the belt, it's only fitting that you are a big, paralyzed loser, stuck doing commentary for better grappler," King says.

 

"Hey, don't forget, being paired with an obnoxious, no-talent loser is part of my punishment," Francis points out.

 

Sexton passes the big gold belt off to Funyon and begins checking both men for hidden objects. Hardcastle's searches both turn up empty, so the veteran ref/punching bag signals for the bell.

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

Stephens takes a tentative step forward, but quickly backs away as Jimmy lunges with a jab. Michael scoots to the left and flings himself at Doom, nailing the Straight-Breader in the knee with a dropkick. Jimmy hits the mat, but recovers quickly, and is on his feet just seconds after Mike. Stephens backpedals out of range just as Jimmy launches a high kick. Michael rushes the temporarily off-balance Doomtopian and leaps into the air, planting both feet in Jimmy's chest, grabbing the back of his head, and sending Doom to the mat with a monkey flip. The Heavyweight champ pops back to his feet, as does his opponent. Doom shakes off the hard landing and presses forward.

 

"Michael Stephens is dictating things early, and I wonder if the spotlight is affecting Jimmy the Doom," Mak muses.

 

"I doubt that, Mak. Jimmy the Doom has never really proven that he's got a fully functioning brain, to me, at least, so I can't imagine him even knowing that his is a big match," King says.

 

"And I suppose him hitting Stephens with a chair would prove he possesses a brain?" Francis inquires.

 

"It depends on how he does it. Any dolt can bash a guy with a chair, but someone with a shred of intelligence finds a way to do it in secret," King says. "That's the true test."

 

Michael sidesteps a jab, and before Jimmy can retract his left arm, Stephens breaks into a sprint. The champ grabs hold of Doom's left arm and swings his body up to scissor Jimmy's right and Stephens pulls back, stacking the Straight-Breader's shoulder to the mat for the first pinfall of the match.

 

One-No!

 

"Stephens unable to even get a one count off that crucifix pin. He must have thought he was going to catch Jimmy the Doom napping there, but no dice," Mak says.

 

"Or, he figured that it wouldn't hurt to pin Doom, as not only does it gauge how tired Jimmy is, but it also give Toxxic a moment to plan ahead," King points out. "See, that's the kind of insight that only comes with winning the World title."

 

Jimmy gets to his knees, only to find Mike waiting to unleash a barrage of punches to the Doomtopian's cranium. The Straight-Breader quickly rolls backwards and clambers up, which is handy, as he's vertical just in time to appreciate the perfect form Stephens employs in his flying cross body block. Doom hits the deck again, but he scrambles from underneath Michael before Sexton can count the pinning predicament. Jimmy tries to get to his feet, but finds his movement hampered due to an Englishman clutching his boots. Stephens raises Doom's legs and begins kicking away at the Hardcore champion's hamstrings.

 

"That ought to take away some of the zing in Jimmy's kicks," Mak says.

 

"And it will make kicking out a bit more difficult, causing Jimmy to rely more on upperbody strength, which will just tire him out even more and leave him unable to slam Toxxic around. Not that he's been doing anything of the sort since the match started," King notes.

 

Michael drops Jimmy's left leg and drives the point of his elbow into the back of Doom's right knee. Stephens pops back up and once again, takes hold of Jimmy's feet. Mike fakes a kick, and as Doom tenses for the blow, the World champ vaults over. Michael bridges up and Sexton Hardcastle slides in to count the pin.

 

One!

 

 

 

 

Tw-No!

 

"Stephens almost got a near fall off of that, but Jimmy the Doom kicks out once again. It's going to take a lot of punishment from Michael Stephens before Jimmy the Doom gives up so much as a two count," Mak says.

 

"Completely agree, Mak, shocking as that may sound. Toxxic might have to revert to his old self and drop Jimmy on his head a few dozen times if he wants to leave Montreal with the World title," King says.

 

"I for one hope it doesn't come to that, as Michael Stephens has really been trying hard to distance himself from the Toxxic of old, and throwing it all away just to retain a belt is stupid," Mak says.

 

"You only say that because you've never won the World title and don't know how it affects you. I swear, if El Luchadore Magnifico had held onto the title any longer, he would have turned into Gollum," King says.

 

The Straight-Breader rises and gets whipped to the ropes. Jimmy charges towards Mike, who attempts a hip toss, the key word being 'attempts', and Doom blocks. The Doomtopian smashes a knee into Mike's gut, then bashes another into the Sensation's face. Jimmy relinquishes his underhook and Irish whips Stephens into the corner. Mike slams into the buckles and slumps down, trying to catch his breath after the vicious knee from Doom, who just so happens to be charging at the Sensation.

 

"Doom going for the 73.5267..." Mak begins, hoping to get a jump on calling Jimmy's long-winded headlock takedown.

 

Jimmy gets right up on Mike, slaps on a facelock, but instead of powering him to the mat, Doom leaps in the air and drives a knee into the champ's gut.

 

"Look who's the jackass!" King exclaims.

 

"Oh, like you didn't think it was coming, too?" Mak asks.

 

"Maybe I did, and maybe I didn't, but you'll never know because I didn't try to call it prematurely. Speaking of which, I hear that you have problems in other areas of life regarding doing things prematurely," King says.

 

"Yeah, I've been meaning to ask your advice, since you struggle with it as well," Francis shoots back.

 

Jimmy backs away, a move that allows him the range to pummel Mike's torso with punches, further hemming the World champion in the corner. Sexton Hardcastle tries to pull Jimmy away, but is unable to bypass the flurry of limbs. Digging deep, Stephens uncorks a European uppercut that knocks the Straight-Bread Sensation back a step. Michael lands another, but the Doomtopian shrugs off the blow. Jimmy moves in closer, and Mike dives down, slipping between Doom's legs. Michael rolls over, plants his feet in Jimmy's ass, and shoves, forcing the Hardcore champ into the turnbuckles. Doom stumbles out of the corner, and right into a schoolboy rollup.

 

One!

 

 

 

 

Two-No!

 

"Shoulder up from Doom! He was really working over Michael Stephens's body, and it's a good plan, because if the champ is winded, he can't exactly zip around the ring," Mak says.

 

"If Toxxic had been smart and put his feet on the ropes, there's a slim chance he could have gotten the three count," King says.

 

The World champ clambers up and waits on the Hardcore title holder, and thankfully, he doesn't have to wait long. Mike bumrushes Jimmy and cracks him with a right jab, followed up with a left hook. Stephens pops Doom with a right hook, then smashes the Straight-Breader with a left straight, flips Doom the bird (With an extra finger for emphasis, or maybe it's just the silly English version), spins around, and nails Jimmy with a clothesline.

 

"YEEEAAAAH!"

 

Doom reels backwards from the force of the blow, but remains on his feet.

 

"Discuss clothesline from Michael Stephens, and I don't know if I'm more surprised that he actually hit it and Jimmy the Doom didn't duck, or that Doom is still on his feet!" Mak shouts.

 

"You know, I'm not surprised over either. Doom's too stupid to know it was coming, but he's tough enough to withstand it. Plus, it's not like Toxxic unleashed a MANSON-level lariat there," King points out.

 

Jimmy regains his balance and cracks the Sensation with a headbutt. Doom presses forward, opting to only fire off headbutts at the retreating World champion. The Straight-Breader nails Stephens with another headbutt, and goes into chase mode as Mike bails to the floor to avoid the assault. The crowd doesn't seem to appreciate this tactic, and informs Stephens of this.

 

"BOOO!"

 

"I'm shocked! Michael Stephens is running away? From Jimmy the Doom, of all people?!" Mak interrobangs. "Not to take away from Doom, but come on, Stephens has faced off against a lot tougher competition, and has usually stood tall."

 

"True, but that was the old Toxxic that would break your neck at the drop of a hat. Besides, there's no point in getting bludgeoned by Jimmy's skull," King points out.

 

Hardcastle glances at Jimmy, who is leaning against the turnbuckles, and turns to administer the ten count to Stephens.

 

One!

 

Mike calls Amy over, and the Stephens kids begin to discuss strategy.

 

Two!

 

"Boooo!"

 

Three!

 

Frustrated, Jimmy walks towards Michael, but Sexton stops him and orders him back to the corner.

 

"It looks like Michael Stephens is going to milk this ten count for as long as possible, and if I were Jimmy, I'd go outside and force him back into the ring," Mak says.

 

"And if I were Jimmy, I'd kill myself," King says.

 

Four!

 

"Boooooo!"

 

Five!

 

Mike breaks off his talk with Amy and makes for the ring steps.

 

Six!

 

The World champ climbs up to the apron, but still isn't in the ring.

 

Seven!

 

"BOOOOOOO!"

 

Eight!

 

Stephens ducks under the top rope, and Doom takes off like a rocket! Jimmy flies towards Mike, right foot extended, and it's obvious to everyone but the Sensation that a meeting between his skull and Doom's hoof is fast approaching.

 

SOPORIFIC!

 

"YEEEAAAAAH!"

 

Mike's head nearly gets sandwiched between the sole of Jimmy's boot and the middle turnbuckle, but luckily for him, it gets lodged between the top and second buckles (It's also lucky for Jimmy, as creating such a sandwich would probably mean he'd have to cut off and eat his own legs). Doom grabs Stephens and pulls him completely inside the ring and makes a lateral press.

 

One!

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

T-No!

 

"Yeeeaaaah!"

 

"Stephens with a shoulder up, and that flying snap kick must have really taken a lot ouf of him, as this is the first time he's been pinned, but Jimmy the Doom got a two count from it," the Franchise says.

 

"I think I'm going to have to get out my suicide pill in case Jimmy wins the belt," King mumbles and begins fumbling with a small vial.

 

Jimmy yanks Mike off the mat and launches him into the ropes. Doom shoots out both hands and wraps them around the champion's throat. The Straight-Bread Sensation lifts the former Straight-Edge Sensation off the mat and spins on one foot. However, before Jimmy can plant Stephens, Mike snakes his legs up and throws them over Doom's shoulders. The Doomtopian goes to slam Mike just as the Sensation yanks back, the end result being both men flipping over and Stephens landing on top of Doom for a pin.

 

One!

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

Th-No!

 

"Doom with a shoulder up after that hurrincanrana, and if Jimmy had been able to hit that Jimmy Bomb, we might have a new World champion," Mak says.

 

"You fool, that was clearly a hurricanrana, not a hurrincanrana! Fucking amateurs," King mutters as he swallows another shot of scotch.

 

Stephens remains on top of Doom and begins smashing his Brit fists into Jimmy's face, but the Hardcore champion forces Mike off with a two handed palm strike. Jimmy rolls away and both men clamber up to their feet. Doom charges forward, as does Stephens, who gets scooped up and flipped over, but that's as far as the tilt-a-whirl goes, as Mike scissors Jimmy's head and sends him to the mat.

 

"Nice job of Michael Stephens to counter that tilt-a-whirl with a headscissor takedown. Except for a few brief moments, he's been in complete control of this match, and it seems likely that he'll retain," Mak says.

 

"He better retain, or I'll have to meet him in the parking lot later tonight and beat him with a crowbar. As much as I dislike Toxxic, he's a lot better than having Jimmy the Doom as the World champion. It would probably sink this company," King says.

 

"Are you trying to tell me that Jimmy the Doom as champion would be worse than Johnny Dangerous as champ?" Mak asks.

 

"While that's a very close decision, I have to give the edge in horribleness to Doom," King replies.

 

Mike kips up, chases down Jimmy the Doom, and launches a dropkick to the Straight-Breader's head, keeping him on the mat. Stephens clambers up, pulls Doom to his feet, and boots him in the gut. Michael Stephens shoves Jimmy into a standing headscissors and underhooks both of Doom's arms. The Sensation lifts Jimmy up and yanks him to the right before dropping to the mat.

 

"YEEAAAAAH!"

 

"Stephens Shock Syndrome! That should soften Jimmy the Doom up for a multitude of other moves," Mak says.

 

"Which is probably why Toxxic uses the damn thing," King says.

 

Mike rolls Jimmy onto his back and climbs to his feet. Stephens races for the turnbuckles and climbs to the top. Michael doesn't waste any time as he leaps off, somersaulting through the air to land on the canvas.

 

"And Jimmy the Doom rolls out of the way of that double stomp! Stephens landed pretty hard there, and it might have jarred his knees a bit," Francis states.

 

"Doom now has a perfect chance to take control of this match, so I'm very interested to see how he screws it up," King says.

 

Jimmy stands up and fires a kick to Mike's left knee, causing the World champ to wince and clutch the joint. Doom unleashes a kick to Michael's right knee this time, and as Stephens doubles over to attend to his patella, Jimmy grabs hold of his long hair and pulls him to the mat.

 

"YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAH!"

 

"Holy shit, Doom Factor! Jimmy the Doom just nailed the Doom Factor on Michael Stephens, and I think this match is over!" Mak screams.

 

"Oh dear God, he's going to win the damn thing..." King mumbles, crestfallen at the prospect of Doom's World title run.

 

Jimmy flips Stephens over and drapes an arm across Mike's chest.

 

One!

 

 

 

 

"TOXXXX-IC!"

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

"TOXXXX-IC!"

 

 

 

 

Three-NO!

 

"YEEEEEAAAAH!"

 

"He kicked out? Oh, my God, Michael Stephens kicked out of the Doom Factor!" Mak shrieks.

 

"Thank you, Jesus!" King roars.

 

Jimmy simply looks up at Sexton Hardcastle like a puppy wondering why his master just smacked him, but the referee shows him two fingers, indictating Stephens kicked out and the match must continue.

 

"I still can't believe Stephens kicked out of the Doom Factor. He must desperately want to keep the World title," Mak says.

 

"You know, looking back at the replay, I can kind of see how it happened. First, Stephens hasn't really been hit in the head, not counting the front kick. Secondly, the Doom Factor isn't exactly a devastating finishing move, especially without the proper head work. And finally, Jimmy didn't have the kind of force behind this Doom Factor as he usually does, because he grabbed Toxxic by the hair and pretty much dragged him to the mat, whereas he normally puts both hands on the back of the opponent's head, and it's more of a slamming move," King points out.

 

"Yeah, but, come on, King, this is Michael Stephens we're talking about! Out of all the things he's known for, being resilient isn't one of them," Mak says.

 

Doom yanks Stephens up, and gets rocked with a European uppercut. Jimmy takes a few steps back, but it only gives Mike room to nail him with a Stephens kick.

 

PHENOLPHTHALEIN!

 

"YEEEEAAAAAAH!"

 

Doom tries to shake off the blow, but Stephens stalks after him and yanks Jimmy to the mat with a twisting neckbreaker.

 

"Michael Stephens must know he's on borrowed time, so he's going to really pick up the pace now," Mak says.

 

"It's going to take a constant onslaught from Toxxic with no answers or counters from Jimmy the Doom if he wants to win this match and keep his belt," King says.

 

Mike scrambles to get on top of the prone Doom and Stephens wraps his legs around Jimmy's arms, locking in a double leg nelson. Mike leans back, pulling the Straight-Bread Sensation into a seated position, but also forcing his head and neck forward. Sexton asks Jimmy if he'd like to submit, but is forced to abandon that as Doom plants his feet and arches his hips, folding Mike in half like the back cover of MAD magazine.

 

One!

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

Thre-No!

 

"YEEEAAAAAH!"

 

"Shoulder up from Stephens, and we might have a stalemate, as Mike has that nelson locked in pretty tight, but Jimmy the Doom can bridge up just about whenever he wants," Mak says.

 

"If Toxxic can muster up a little strength, he could roll on his side, keeping the presure on Doom, but preventing Jimmy from pinning him to the mat," King points out.

 

Stephens does just that, forcing Doom on his side, however Jimmy simply twists his hips and stacks Mike's shoulders against the mat again.

 

One!

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

Thre-No!

 

"YEAAAAAH!"

 

"Another kick out from Michael Stephens, and I wonder if he's actually coming off worse. He's the one that has to deal with Jimmy's weight pressing down and he's got to force it off each time, whereas Jimmy has no doubt withstood more painful submissions," Mak says.

 

"Perhaps, but that full nelson is draining Jimmy, and if Toxxic manages to hit the Sunny in England, it could put him away," King says.

 

Stephens forces Doom to his side after the kick out, and Jimmy begins twisting his hips to force another pin. Michael shifts his weight the other way, and the Straight-Bread Sensation does the same, exploding free of the hold.

 

"Nice move from Jimmy the Doom to get out of that double leg nelson. A bit of a deke, to use a term these Canucks would be familiar with," Mak says.

 

"I wonder how dead Toxxic's legs will be. He did have to hold on to Jimmy the Doom for quite a while, but Toxxic has some pretty strong legs to flip around like he does," King says.

 

Jimmy crawls away from Stephens, and both men slowly climb to their feet while the crowd tries to pick a favorite.

 

"TOXXXX-IC!"

 

"DOOOOOM!"

 

"TOXXXX-IC!"

 

"DOOOOOM!"

 

"TOXXXX-IC!"

 

"DOOOOOM!"

 

"DOOOOOM!"

 

"DOOOOOM!"

 

"Well this is surprising. I wouldn't have thought that the crowd would favor Jimmy the Doom over Michael Stephens unless Stephens had done something drastic," Mak says.

 

"You forget, Mak, that the fans are, by and large, morons. However, I will attempt to educate you with my theories. Jimmy the Doom is definitely in the role of the underdog, and people like to see the underdog win. Additionally, though Toxxic hasn't held the belt for very long in this run, the fans might want to see someone new with the title. Don't forget that this isn't just Canada, it's Quebec, so while there is the England-Canada connection, the French aspect probably causes some hatred of all things British," King says.

 

Throwing caution to the wind, both men sprint towards each other, and Jimmy springs into the air, right leg extended, while Stephens goes low. Michael crashes into Doom's left leg, knocking the Hardcore champ to the mat with a soccer tackle. Mike gets up and moves behind the slowly rising Doomtopian. The Sensation darts forward, snaring Jimmy in a cravate and quickly making his way to the corner.

 

"It doesn't happen often, but it's about to get Sunny in England!" Mak shouts.

 

"And it's going to get foggy in this Doomtopian's head," King adds.

 

Stephens bypasses the bottom buckle, plants his right foot on the middle, springs to the top and pushes off with his left foot, flipping over and driving Jimmy into the mat. Mike reaches forward and hooks Doom's left leg as Sexton Hardcastle slides to count the pin.

 

"YEEEEAAAAAAH!"

 

One!

 

 

 

 

"DOOOOOOOM!"

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

"DOOOOOOOM!"

 

 

 

 

Three-No!

 

"YEEEEAAAAAAH!"

 

"Kick out! Jimmy the Doom kicked out of Sunny in England!" Mak screams.

 

"Hey, moron, that's what he does. Jimmy the Doom can withstand getting his head smashed in, it's Toxxic that goes down quicker than your mom," King says.

 

"You need to die in a fire," Mak says.

 

Mike climbs to his feet and pulls Jimmy up as well. Stephens appears to be at a loss in regards of what to do, so he keeps Doom occupied with a European uppercut. Michael's eyes light up and he snags the Straight-Bread Sensation with another three quarter facelock and races for the ropes.

 

"Stephens is hoping that a second Sunny in England will be enough to put Jimmy the Doom away, and I think it will," Mak says.

 

"No doubt about that. Jimmy the Doom is tough, but he's not invincible," King says.

 

Stephens keeps pumping his feet towards the ropes, but Jimmy the Doom opts to remain where he is, and he shoves the World champ away. Michael bounces back to face a rushing Straight-Bread Sensation. Jimmy throws out his right arm, and Mike ducks under, allowing Doom to wrap Stephens up, twist around, and sling him to the mat.

 

"Jimmy the Doom with a modified Jimmy-Plex, and now it looks like he's got Stephens on the ropes," Mak says.

 

Doom pauses a moment, allowing Mike to clamber up, and then takes off. Jimmy leaps into the air and slams his foot into the back of the World champion's skull.

 

QUIESCENCE!

 

The Sensation staggers around groggily, giving the Straight-Breader time to climb up to the top turnbuckle and fly towards Stephens. Jimmy wraps Michael up and drags him to the mat with a cradle. Sexton slides in to count the pin.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

"TOXXXX-IC!"

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

"TOXXXX-IC!"

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

 

"TOXXXX-IC!"

 

 

 

 

Sexton jumps to his feet, raises three fingers in the air, and signals for the bell.

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

"YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAH!"

 

"DOOOOM!"

 

"DOOOOM!"

 

"DOOOOM!"

 

"DOOOOM!"

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match, and new Smarks Wrestling Federation World Heavyweight champion, Jimmy the Doom!" Funyon roars.

 

"Oh my sweet Jesus, he actually did it!" shouts Mak, breaking the silence between himself and King. "Michael Stephens withstood a lot of punishment, but he eventually succumbed to an enzugiri and Majestic Cradle combination, making Jimmy the Doom the new World champion."

 

"Well, time to update my resume, cause there's no way the SWF lasts for more than a few weeks now," King grumbles.

 

Jimmy gets to his feet, takes the World belt from Hardcastle, and is joined in the ring by Lois as "Yakety Sax" plays. Doom holds the title aloft, then lowers it as he sees Stephens beginning to stir. The Straight-Bread Sensation helps his opponent up and the two men shake hands as Smarkdown fades to black.