HD: Landon segment

[King Cucaracha 0]

Suddenly, we cut backstage, to see SWF superstar and OAOAST 24/7 Champion Landon Maddix, along with manager Megan Skye. And, you guessed it, they're WALKING~!


UP NEXT: Landon Maddix speaks!

**COMMERCIAL BREAK**


BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the ring at this time, MEGAN SKYE and the OAOAST 24/7 Champion LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MMMAAAAADDIIIIIXXXXXXX!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

"REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH!"

The roaring sounds of "Personal Jesus" by Marilyn Manson strike through the arena to a roaring reaction, none of which is positive. Through the entrance doors leads Megan Skye, noticeably sporting a black eye on the right side which is only partly obscured by her make-up. And behind her, her charge is in even worse condition, still carrying the wounds of an attack in the SWF last week. But since that's SWF, we won't mention it. Except then. And then. And then... and then...

COLE
Some new theme music for Maddix, just incase you aren't aware of how highly he thinks of himself. He's gone from the OAOAST's Saviour to 'Jesus' in just about four weeks.

Megan leads the way up the ring steps, holding open the ropes for Landon who makes a more subdued entrance than usual. No spin, he simply climbs into the ring. But he's no less arrogant than usual and still delights in displaying the OAOAST's secondary singles title to the OAOAST fans, despite his SWF crew jacket and Michael Stephens (his SWF partner) t-shirt.

COLE
Here's a man with a lot of explaining to do after last week. We heard him two weeks ago, claiming he'd only come back 'when he felt like it'. We were expecting to have seen the last of him for a while but sure enough, last Thursday, he showed up and inexplicably cost D*LUX their match against The GPX.

Calling for a microphone, Maddix sets his 24/7 Title over his left shoulder and as his music cuts out, he waits for some hush from the crowd. He might be waiting a while though.

"LAN - DON SUCKS!"
"LAN - DON SUCKS!"
"LAN - DON SUCKS!"
"LAN - DON SUCKS!"

MADDIX
Yeah, yeah, that's cute. Never heard that one before.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

MADDIX
Now, if you'll all pipe down for long enough, I'll get right to the pressing issue. The issue that everybody is talking about right now, the reason why I'm out here. That reason being... my big Steel Cage Match-up this Sunday night with Gabriel Drake at SWF Genesis VII!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COLE
Oh, give me a break!

COACH
Hey, it's their AngleMania...apparantly.

"SMART - MARK SUCKS!"
"SMART - MARK SUCKS!"
"SMART - MARK SUCKS!"
"SMART - MARK SUCKS!"

MADDIX
Okay, calm down everyone. Just playing with you all. Obviously, what everyone's waiting for me to talk about are my actions last week here on HeldDOWN~! How I 'shockingly' and 'inexplicably' showed up during the Hooligan Street Fight and I 'cruelly' cost the boyband brigade their match against... well, against the other boyband brigade. First things first, maybe if they'd settled their little dispute with a dance-off or battle rap contest, maybe nobody would have gotten hurt. But, they did. All week long, it's been 'why this, why that, what is your relationship with The GPX, blah blah blah'. You're all so desperate for an explanation. Well, you want to know why I did what I did? LOOK AT THIS!

Suddenly turning a little fiesty, Landon thrusts a finger towards the black eye of Megan Skye. A few of the fans pick up on it quickly and start to laugh at Megan's misfortune, as she sulkily folds her arms, feigning some existing injury with the eye.

MADDIX
Nobody, but nobody, touches my Megs and gets away with it unscathed! And at AngleSlam, somebody made that mistake. Jade Rodez. Jade Rodez made the same mistake her brother did and thought she could get one over on the SWF's Power Couple! She thought she could get the last laugh. HA! [i]That's[/i] the sound of a last laugh, Doughdez!

COLE
Doughdez!?

COACH
Well, she is kinda meaty.

COLE
Give me a break.

MADDIX
Your precious little pretty boy army took the brunt. I'm a gentleman, see. I let Megan deal with you last week and hopefully, you'll remember how that felt to be kicked upside the head by a REAL woman if you and the Choreography Crew decide you're going to seek retribution. Jade, take another leaf out of your brother's book. Learn from him. If you know what's good for you, like him, you'll walk away.

With the serious section of this talk over, a cheesy smile creeps over his face.

MADDIX
Now, with that out of the way, let's get to the interesting stuff. Let's quit living in the past and talk about the future. What's next for Landon Maddix? See, it seems that this 24/7 Title has settled over my shoulder pretty nicely. Nobody over in the SWF seems to understand the concept. And those that do, like Bruce, aren't jumping me backstage at Lockdown trying to win it, for whatever reason. And when I make an appearance here, it seems people are afraid to challenge me because of my connections to certain people.

COLE
And with good reason!

MADDIX
First and foremost, I am a competitor. I have never been and will never be a paper champion. Having a championship belt around my waist has become second nature to me and that comes hand in hand with competition. So, if the competition won't come to me, then I guess I'm going to have to go to the competition. So, with that said, everyone gathered around the monitors in the back should call their buddies over. They should then do the same. I want as many people to hear this, because I'm issuing an Open Challenge of sorts.

This perks a few of the fans up, who apparantly fancy themselves against the former SWF World Champion and begin trying to point themselves out. Landon laughs it all off, pointing a few of the more pathetic offers out to Megan before signalling for everyone to just give up.

MADDIX
As I said before, I'm looking for [i]competition[/i]. And as tough as that may be to find in the OAOAST, I'm willing to give anyone a chance. Anyone in that locker room who wants a shot at the 24/7 Champion, consider this an open invitation, as if it were needed. From the bottom of the barrel to the top of the tree, it doesn't matter who steps up and tries to take this 24/7 Title from my possession. Because there is not ONE OAOAST wrestler in that entire locker room who can compare to me! Not one! No-one who can compare to my legacy in this business! Accomplishments, claimed against competition, through competition. There's nobody in the SWF who can compare to me, let alone here. Fourteen seperate championship reigns in my illustrious career with them. Two-time SWF World Heavyweight Champion, former SWF International Champion, four-time SWF World Tag Team Champion, three-time SWF ICTV Cha...





*BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!*

"YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

COACH
What!?

COLE
OH, MY!!

Disturbed kicks into gear, but this time it's "Liberate" and it's an entirely different reaction from the fans, who go absolutely WILD! Apparantly, Landon doesn't seem to know what this means as he just seems annoyed at being interrupted. It's only when the entrance doors slide open and the suited, booted and ever so stylish Meterosexual Monster, Bohemoth, comes striding down the aisle that the 24/7 Champion's face begins to sink.

COLE
Be careful what you ask for Mr. Maddix, because you just might get it! Bohemoth is here to accept the challenge! And something tells me he doesn't care how many SWF titles you've won!

With his eyes hided behind his trusty orange-tinted shades, Bohemoth jogs up the ring steps...and sends Maddix scurrying to the outside, Megan wisely following after him. Bo enters the ring and with his typical casualness he strolls over to where Landon has retreated to, babbling away as he tries to calm the bigman down.

MADDIX
Ho... hol... hold up there big guy...

"BO - HE - MOTH!"
"BO - HE - MOTH!"
"BO - HE - MOTH!"
"BO - HE - MOTH!"

With the wryest and coolest of half-smiles, Bo motions for Landon to come back into the ring.

MADDIX
Jus... just hold up there a second, calm yourself down.

COLE
Calm yourself down!? Bohemoth's the calmest man in the OAOAST, it's Landon that's getting flustered.

COACH
He don't want none of Big Bo.

MADDIX
I... I think you've misunderstood me there big guy. If you'd let me... finish what I was saying, then you'd realise that you're out here a little... prematurely. See, this isn't a challenge for... for right now. Not tonight.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Bo again signals for Landon to come back inside, even sitting on the middle rope and holding open a space for Landon to enter through. Backed up against the guardrail, Landon nervously feels his way around ringside as he heads towards the aisle, not taking his eyes off of Bo.

MADDIX
You kinda interrupted me there. See, you need to realise the terms of this deal. I realise this belt is on the line twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. I realise that. Really. But, if you think I'm going to get into that ring with you on a moment's notice, then you'd better loosen up that pretty like necktie because it's cutting the flow of blood to your brain. Now... don't get me wrong. I'm not [i]scared[/i] of you. Bu...

"PUUU - SSSYYY!"
"PUUU - SSSYYY!"
"PUUU - SSSYYY!"
"PUUU - SSSYYY!"

Megan screams at the crowd to shut up, but predictably they don't. Taking a moment to recompose himself, Landon takes a few deep breaths and waits for the arena to quieten down a little, Bo watching on impatiently from the ring.

MADDIX
But... you need to realise who I am. I'm Landon Maddix.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

MADDIX
See, I'm a marquee superstar in this sport. Not just here, but around the wrestling world. My name alone sells tickets. My name fills arenas. My name spikes ratings and it pops buyrates. I'm not just going to get into that ring unadvertised and 'give away' a 24/7 Title defence, just because you're feeling a little frisky, no no.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COLE
You've got to be kidding me!

COACH
Hey, I hate to say it but he's got a point.

MADDIX
And besides that, I've got a big match on Sunday. So, if you want a shot at this 24/7 Title, then fine. I'll oblige you. I'm not afraid of bigmen. I've beaten men bigger and badder than you. I'll give you your shot. Just not tonight.

Bohemoth's eyes roll under his glasses. After all, they [i]always[/i] say that.

MADDIX
I'll give you your match, live, next week on HeldDOWN~! 24/7 Title on the line. No false promises. You and me, one on one. When it's worthwhile to me. In the meantime, you just... you go back and... lift some more weights, shop for some more suits, whatever it is you do with your spare time. See you in a week. Goodnight Memphis!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Dropping the microphone, Maddix is already halfway up the ramp and scampers up the rest of it, with Bohemoth still watching on. A little shake of the head from the bigman is all the emotion you're going to get from him. But, obviously, he's not happy as he's eventually left to leave the ring, without the fight he came out for.

COLE
The arrogance of Landon Maddix is just astounding! He comes out here, calls out the locker room for an open challenge and then he runs with his tail between his legs when he's challenged. And all because he won't get the maximum [i]ratings[/i]? What an egotist!

COACH
Hate to say it again but, he's got a point. More ratings lead to more money. And more money means more happiness.

COLE
One thing is for sure, the prospect of Bohemoth kicking Maddix's ass next week will get people tuning in. Hell, I'd pay to see that happen!

COACH
Exactly!

COLE
*sighs* Well, either way, next week it'll apparantly be Landon Maddix versus Bohemoth for the 24/7 Championship, first time ever obviously. And that will be one hell of a test for the 'Saviour Of The OAOAST', not least because he doesn't seem to even know who Bohemoth is!