Tony149 0 Report post Posted September 18, 2006 (edited) There will be a couple more segments that follow this, which will be posted separately. Humidity's risin' Barometer's getting low According to all sources The street's the place to go Gingerbread men courtesy of Mrs. Spezia's Sweeties fall from the ceiling to coincide with the entrance of Los Diablos de Fuego. COLE It's raining gingerbread men, Coach. COACH Mariachi and Moracca live the gay lifestyle of "The Flintstones" and "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" eras. They love to have a gay ol' time and pretty themselves up. It's raining men - Hallejulah It's raining men - Amen It's raining men - Hallejulah It's raining men - Amen (Ow!) Pink and yellow lights flash across the arena as Los Diablos emerge onstage performing the TANGO~! with their inflatable sheep doll El Oveja. They bump and hump just about everything on their way down the ramp -- guardrails, cameramen, male fans in the front row! Moracca hands his sombrero to the hottest guy he sees and bends over for a SPANKING! MORACCA :o COLE (laughs) The fans in Houston having a great time. And this is the type of atomsphere you'll experience at a live OAOAST event. COACH Molested by a homosexual luchador? COLE Why are you so caught up in the homosexual aspect of Los Diablos de Fuego, Coach? You're treating them with the same kind of prejudice your people faced in the 1960s, Coach. COACH How can you compare the struggles of my people to [i]your[/i] people, Cole? COLE [i]My[/i] people? COACH Come on, Mikey. You're gayer than George Michael. And even look like him, too. * DING DING DING * BUFFER This contest is scheduled for one fall with a 15 minute time limit. Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by their mascot El Oveja...from sunny, funny Cabo San Lucas in Mexico, weighing in at 340 pounds: Mariachi and Moracca...they are the unparalelled LOS DIABLOS DE FUEGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-O-O-O-OH!! Los Diablos bump and grind on Michael Buffer. Mariachi jabs him in the BUTT with his pitch fork, then stares seductively into the camera while sucking on the middle prong of his prop! COACH It's Halloween and the Gay Pride parade everyday for these two. Oh, no. They're coming our way! Moracca and Mariachi go Ariel at Sofa Central, disgusting Coach but delighting Cole. Los Diablos plant a kiss on Cole's cheeks and dive back into the ring, waving at the voice of the OAOAST. COLE Whew! Was that fun or what? Man, what a rush! I felt so alive. COACH I bet you did. Rene Dupree ain't got nothing on you. Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime BUFFER Their opponents...from Beverly Hills, 90210, at a total combine weight of 460 pounds...MACKENZIE DECENZO presents SIMON SINGLETON and NED BLANCHARD... THE BEVERLY HILLS BLLLLLLOOOONDSSSSSSSSS! Stage hands roll out the [color=#FF0000][b]red carpet[/b][/color] as [i]Call Me[/i] plays in the background. The Beverly Hills Blonds enter the Toyota Center in HAZMAT SUITS. Mackenzie DeCenzo nowhere in sight. The Blonds maintain their distance from Los Diablos, steering clear of the ring. Ned magically produces a microphone. NED If I could have your attention, please, there's something I'd like to say on behalf of The Beverly Hills Blonds. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" SIMON Quiet on the set! NED You people love us and you know it, so shut up! Your reaction is making what we've got to say all the much easier. There won't be any match tonight. I've agonized over the decision for the last week, and with the blessing of Simon and Mackenzie, who's tending to more importance business in the back, I hereby announce our status as a conscientious objectors due to personal beliefs. That being the Beverly Hills Blonds are too rich and famous to be in the same ring as Los Diablos de Fuego, much less in the same vicinity. It has nothing to do with the fact Los Diablos de Fuego -- such an appropriate name, because they will be flaming in hell one day -- prefer the sausage and not the taco. I was prepared to go through with the bout until my 6-year-old daughter, a huge fan of Los Diablos and their goat mascot because of the tree-huggin' hippie views implanted in her by her mother Krista Isadora Duncan... "YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" NED ...screw the bitch. It's her fault you people won't see me in the ring because she decided to dropped our daughter off at my crib Friday morning so she could go to Havana for some kind of conference. Once my kid found out her daddy and Uncle Simon were gonna wrestler Cuckoo and Coco Puff and heard what we had in store for them and that damn goat, she cried her little eyes out, begging daddy not to kill the homies. Being the great father than I am I placed my child's interest over my career. COACH Ned Blanchard, Father of the Year! COLE I'll give them points for creativity, but everybody knows it's all a damn act. Not only is Ned homophobic, he couldn't care less about his beautiful daughter Maya. The only reason he's even maintained a relationship with her is because she's a child prodigy. He sees dollar signs not love. Notice how he never once referred to her by name. That's because he doesn't know her name! COACH Oh, come on, Mikey. You wouldn't want to get felt up by Los Diablos de Fuego, right? Wait a minute...heh...you would! COLE Who writes your damn material? Don't you and Ned realize the sport requires wrestlers to lockup, go-behind and pin your opponent? SIMON We're real sorry all our great fans won't be able to see the hottest tag team in the world today compete, but we did take that into account when making our decision. Ned and I know the people in attendence paid their hard earned money to be here tonight. Sure they earned most of it scrubbing toliets, mowing lawns, and working 9-5 unlike the Beverly Hills Blonds and Teddy Moneymaker, but you do deserve to get what you paid for. And you paid to see a match featuring Rosie O'Donnell's favorite tag team. She may think they're cutie patooties, but brother Ned, something tells me Moracca and Mariachi won't be so cute after tonight. Los Diablos are tried of the talking. They want to fight. Referee Charles Robinson having to restrain them. SIMON They're getting hissy! They're getting hissy! NED Ain't that the cutest thing? SIMON The cutest. SIMON & NED :D :lol: Suddenly, two men in full [b][color=#999900]gold bodysuits and gloves[/color][/b] wrapped in [b]BARB WIRE[/b] storm the ring. * WHAM, WHAM * Los Diablos go down in a heap, [b][color=#FF0000]bleeding profusely[/color][/b], masks torn from the barb wire attack by the great Latin American tag team...LOS CONQUISTADORS! COLE It was a damn set-up! The Blonds casually stroll backstage while Uno and Dos put the boots to Moracaa and Mariachi, grinding the barb wire into their open wounds! Los Diablos [b][color=#FF99FF]pink ponchos[/color][/b] covered in [b][color=#FF0000]crimson[/color][/b]. Uno, or maybe Dos, strips Mariachi of his devil tail and uses it to WHIP HIM, paint-brushing the luchador. Though the damage has already been done, the arrival of OAOAST officals prevent Los Conquistadors from further injuring Los Diablos de Fuego. Adding insult to injury Los Conquistadors STEAL the beloved mascot of Los Diablos, El Oveja! COLE Hey, there's no need for that! Leave them alone, damnit! Los Conquistadors exit with El Oveja. Los Diablos de Fuego left laying in a pool of their own blood as we go to... Edited September 20, 2006 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
