Tony149 0 Report post Posted October 11, 2006 [b]And now [color=#3333FF]OAOAST BACKTRACKER[/color], presented by [s]Mrs. Spezia's Sweeties[/s] [color=#FF0000]SMN Productions[/color] in association with [color=#009900]Moneymaker[/color] [color=#999900]Enterprises[/color][/b] [b]THREE WEEKS AGO[/b] [quote]Brief clips of Los Diablos performing the TANGO~! with their inflatable sheep doll El Oveja and the Beverly Hills Blonds entering the Toyota Center in HAZMAT SUITS air. * CLIP * NED There won't be any match tonight. I've agonized over the decision for the last week, and with the blessing of Simon and Mackenzie, who's tending to more importance business in the back, I hereby announce our status as a conscientious objectors due to personal beliefs. That being the Beverly Hills Blonds are too rich and famous to be in the same ring as Los Diablos de Fuego, much less in the same vicinity. * CLIP II * SIMON Ned and I know the people in attendence paid their hard earned money to be here tonight. Sure they earned most of it scrubbing toliets, mowing lawns, and working 9-5 unlike the Beverly Hills Blonds and Teddy Moneymaker, but you do deserve to get what you paid for. And you paid to see a match featuring Rosie O'Donnell's favorite tag team. She may think they're cutie patooties, but brother Ned, something tells me Moracca and Mariachi won't be so cute after tonight. * CLIP III * Suddenly, two men in full [b][color=#999900]gold bodysuits and gloves[/color][/b] wrapped in [b]BARB WIRE[/b] storm the ring. * WHAM, WHAM * Los Diablos go down in a heap, [b][color=#FF0000]bleeding profusely[/color][/b], masks torn from the barb wire attack by the great Latin American tag team...LOS CONQUISTADORS! COLE It was a damn set-up! The Blonds casually stroll backstage while Uno and Dos put the boots to Moracaa and Mariachi, grinding the barb wire into their open wounds! Los Diablos [b][color=#FF99FF]pink ponchos[/color][/b] covered in [b][color=#FF0000]crimson[/color][/b]. Uno, or maybe Dos, strips Mariachi of his devil tail and uses it to WHIP HIM, paint-brushing the luchador. Though the damage has already been done, the arrival of OAOAST officals prevent Los Conquistadors from further injuring Los Diablos de Fuego. Adding insult to injury Los Conquistadors STEAL the beloved mascot of Los Diablos, El Oveja! COLE Hey, there's no need for that! Leave them alone, damnit! Los Conquistadors exit with El Oveja. Los Diablos de Fuego left laying in a pool of their own blood...[/quote] Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime Right on cue, we cut back inside the arena in time to see the red carpet arrival of the BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS. The Blonds aren't here to wrestler, however. Dressed in jean shorts and trademark silver vests, Simon and Ned stop by SOFA CENTRAL~! to lend their voices for the upcoming match. NED How you doin', fellas? COACH Great! Even better if Mackenzie were here. COLE Speaking of your business consultant, where is she? Trouble in paradise? SIMON You wish. Mackie wants everyone in TV land to know she's sorry she couldn't be here. She's back in Beverly Hills crossing the t's and dotting the i's on a few projects. That and who would want to come to Edmonton, Alberta, Canada? Even Chris Benoit ditched this city. Everyone knows all the excitement is back in the States and Beverly Hills, hence the name of a once popular television show. NED Hell, we wouldn't even be here if it weren't for a couple acquaintances of ours competing in this very ring. You can bet your bottom dollar, son, whenever the Beverly Hills Blonds lend their name to a project, we support it all the way. COLE I'm sure the fine folks at Mrs. Spezia's Sweeties feel the same about their baked products, seeing as how they've sponsered many of our Backtracker segments, which have been de-faced in order to push the Beverly Hills Blonds/Theordore Moneymaker agenda. NED (scoffs) Mrs. Spezia's Sweeties? Man, my kid nearly choked on one of those bricks they call cookies. Amidst all the talking Los Conquistadors have made their way to the ring, parading around with the mascot of Los Diablos de Fuego, El Oveja. * DING DING DING * BUFFER Wrestling fans, our next contest is scheduled for one fall with a 10 minute time limit. Already in the ring, from Latin America...LLLOOOOSSSSS CONQUISTADOOOOOORRRRRRRSSSSSSS!! Los Conquistadors raise their fists in the air and are booed. The Blonds return the salute and shout "Gold!" "You say its urgent Make it fast, make it urgent Do it quick, do it urgent Gotta rush, make it urgent Want it quick [i]Urgent, urgent, emergency Urgent, urgent, emergency Urgent, urgent, emergency Urgent, urgent, emergency[/i] So urgent, emergency Emer... emer... emer... Its urgent" BUFFER Their opponents...from the OAOAST First Responders Unit, EMT TIM and OFFICER BOSLEY...RESCUE 911~! * CRICKET, CRICKET * SIMON How would you describe Rescue 911's reception, Mikey? Thunderous? COLE Under normal circumstances I'd say so, but it's obvious our great fans in Edmonton are too busy enjoying Foreigner's 1980s classic to really show their admiration for Officer Bosley and EMT Tim. NED Oh, man, that is rich. That is rich. Richer than Teddy Moneymaker, man. You earned your pay tonight, Cole. That defying silence you hear is everyone in Edmonton knowing Rescue 911 doesn't stand a chance tonight. They gotta go up against the hardcore luchadors--well, they aren't really luchadors, just hardcore Latios in gold masks--who damn near put Los Diablos de Fuego out for good. Rather than be deflated by the lack of crowd response, Rescue 911 plan to use it as motivation to prove them and all the naysayers wrong. Senior official Earl Hebner orders one man in, one man out. Dos and EMT Tim give their respective partners some last minute words prior to exiting. Los Conquistadors placing El Oveja in their corner for safe keeping. * DING DING DING * Uno is hesitant to lock up, asking the referee to frisk Officer Bosley for illegal objects. COLE Oh, come on. Is this really necessary? COACH Hey, Officer Bosley may be a crooked cop for all we know. He could have a nightstick stuff in his pants or mace in his pocket. COLE The only illegal objects in the ring are Los Conquistadors. SIMON Have you no shame, sir, objectifying the Golden Boys like that? NED Yeah, Cole. Just because they don't want to be your play toys like Los Diablos de Fuego, it doesn't give you any right to smear their good names. Los Conquistadors are doing the governments job better than the government itself, putting down all the illegals like an animal shelter does stray dogs and cats. SIMON As someone who's patched his bleeding heart, think of Uno and Dos as the Ghostbusters. They have snazzy costumes and perform a public service. Officer Bosley agrees to the request and is patted down like a common criminal, his cooperation rewarded by a clothesline! Uno stomps away on Bosley, bringing him to his feet, and rakes the eyes across the top rope! Turnbuckle smash in the corner is followed up by a tag to Dos. Uno whips Bosley in as Dos hits the far side, driving the knee into the head after Uno doubles law enforcement's finest with a shot to the midsection! The cover. ONE... TW-- KICKOUT! Dos scoops Officer Bosley in the air and slams him in the center of the ring. To the second rope he goes, cocking his fist before taking flight... * OOF * ...BUT OFFICER BOSLEY GETS THE BOOT UP! Fortunately for Los Conquistadors, Dos falls near the corner and easily tags out. Officer Bosley brought back to his feet. Uno looking to send him into the turnbuckle, but Bosley gets the boot up again and blocks it, sending Uno in instead! The Bos rocks Uno with American made right hands, hip tossing him out of the corner and dropkicking him off his feet. COLE Officer Bosley has Uno pinned! SIMON You sure it ain't #2 in the ring? Because he's fighting like it. ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! Irish whip to the far corner, Officer Bosley charging in and meeting the same fate Uno's partner Dos did earlier...BOOT TO THE FACE! Uno steps outside and scales the turnbuckles, only to SLAMMED OFF THE TOP! Officer Bosley shakes off the cobwebs and turns Uno inside-out with a flying back elbow off the second rope! ONE... TWO... THR-- NO! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Dos having to come in and break up the pin. I'm sure this wasn't what you were expecting, gentlemen, but it should've been. Los Conquistadors haven't won by pinfall or submission in their time in the OAOAST. Their only victory was by DQ. NED The Conquistadors aren't wrestlers, Cole, they're brawlers. It's like taking fish out of water. They're out of their environment. COLE If they can't wrestle then why are they in the OAOAST? SIMON Uh, haven't you heard of a famous wrestler named Hulk Hogan? He couldn't wrestle a lick but still became the biggest start in the business...until Ned and I came along, of course. Suddenly, Rescue 911 are rolling. Even the fans are now into it. They're starting to believe Officer Bosley and EMT Tim can snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. Uno in a world of hurt. Bosley fires Uno to the ropes and tags Tim, catapulting him into the ring...SLINGSHOT CROSSBODY! ONE... TWO... THREE-- KICKOUT! EMT Tim shoots Uno back in and snaps him over with a powerslam! Dos attempts to breakup the pin again, but Tim hears him coming and moves out of the way, causing Dos to drop an elbow on his own partner! Dos pops up and takes a swing at Tim, completely missing as he's spun around and slammed. Axe handle smash to the back by Uno momentarily stuns EMT Tim, nearly resulting in a back suplex...but Tim is able to float over and connect with a crippling atomic drop, sending the Conquistador crashing into and out of the corner, right back at him for a bodyslam. And another, this time for Dos. Tim brings both Conquistadors together...DOUBLE COCONUT! Los Conquistadors struggling to maintain their balance. Officer Bosley helps them with their problem, leveling both with a diving clothesline! * THUD * That's the sound of Dos hitting the arena floor after rolling out of the ring. He just so happens to land by Sofa Central and guest commentators Beverly Hills Blonds. Simon and Ned unleash a verbal assault on the non-English speaking Conquistador while clapping their hands and smiling to give him the impression they're voicng encouragement. NED What the hell is wrong with you!? Go back in there and fight! Recharged by the powerful words from the Blonds, Dos is eager to return to battle. One problem, though. A big problem. DOS :o Officer Bosley wipes him out with a PLANCHA! "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Bosley's fired up. The crowd's fired up and so are the Blonds. SIMON Hey Ned, did you hear what he said about your mother? COLE :huh: NED You damn right. The Blonds go Rodney King on Officer Bosley, beating him to a pulp, ramming him into the ringpost! Inside the ring, EMT Tim hits a Somoan drop on Uno, following it up with a TOP ROPE SPLASH! ONE... TWO... THR--NO! Earl spots Ned on the apron and stops him from entering the ring. The Handsome Hustler gets his foot caught in the ropes to distract Hebner from seeing Simon climb to the top...FLYING ELBOW DROP! Simon exits and returns to Sofa Central as if nothing had happened, casually putting the headset back on. SIMON How quickly things change. Hahahahaha! Los Conquistadors active their Wonder Twins powers to finish off Rescue 911. Uno slingshots EMT Tim to the corner as Dos comes off the top with a clothesline! COACH DAYUM~! You gotta admit, that's pretty sweet. ONE... TWO... THREE! * DING DING DING * BUFFER Here are your winners...LLLOOOOSSSSS CONQUISTADOOOOOORRRRRRRSSSSSSS!! NED I think our job is done. As they say in the biz, let's do lunch. Or...maybe not. SIMON & NED :lol: The Blonds raise the hands of Los Conquistadors, who hold up El Oveja like its some kind of trophy. All 4 leave the ring when they're approached by two VENDORS selling cotton candy and soft drinks. We quickly learn they aren't just any vendors, but LOS DIABLOS DE FUEGO! "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH How'd they get across the border? Oh, wait. It's their specialty. Mariachi spills the drinks on the aisle to cause the Blonds and Conquistadors to slip. Moracca slams the cotton candy tray on them and retrives El Oveja! Before they exit stage right, Mariachi LICKS some of the beverage off Ned's chest! Needless to say, Los Diablos run as fast and as far away as possible, not wanting to be near Blanchard when he explodes. COLE El Oveja is back home! Los Diablos de Fuego letting the Beverly Hills Blonds and Los Conquistadors know they're not ones to be messed with. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
