Tony149 0 Report post Posted October 18, 2006 (edited) COLE Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor to welcome in the co-host of OAOAST Syndicated, Jesse "The Body" Ventura, for our next match. Jess, great to have you here on HeldDOWN~! VENTURA Let's get one thing straight first, Michael Cole -- I AM the host of OAOAST Syndicated. Why do you think it's the #1 rated program in all of syndication? People aren't watching to see Tony Schiavone. They're watching to hear my commentary on the great action only the OAOAST can provide. And we're gonna double their pleasure next week with a special edition to celebrate the most watched program across the country and around the world. Now introduce me again. COLE It's my pleasure to welcome the [i]host[/i] of OAOAST Syndicated to Sofa Central, Jesse "The Body" Ventura. And Jesse, you know what's coming up next. VENTURA Oh, yeah. The battle of the sexes. Los Diablos de Fuego vs. the Sooner Bruisers for the tag team championship of the world! But what a travesty of justice, Michael Cole. It oughta be the Beverly Hills Blonds wrestling for the tag titles. They're the 3-time champions. Los Diablos haven't done anything to warrent a title match so early in their careers. The Blonds are being discriminated against. Had they wrestled Los Diablos a few weeks ago, they'd be getting the shot. It's politics at its worse. COLE Los Diablos have paid their dues and endured so much in their time in the OAOAST. It also shows the OAOAST Top 10 works. VENTURA Then why was it privatized? The public hasn't seen it in years. And the public has a right to know. Humidity's risin' Barometer's getting low According to all sources The street's the place to go BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest LIVE on TSM is for the World tag team championship! "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Moracca and Mariachi prance onto the pink and yellow illuminated stage, plucking gingerbread men decorated like themselves out of from under their sombreros and toss them into the crowd. But many of the fans throw them back at them! VENTURA Ha-ha. Sooner Nation out in force. You'd think the Longhorns had rolled into town given this reception. COLE Los Diablos have their work cut out for them, that's for darn sure. BUFFER Introducing first, the challengers...accompanied by El Ovéja from sunny, funny Cabo San Lucas, the sexiest tag team in all of Mehico...LOS DIABLOS DE FUE-- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Los Diablos bump and grind on ring announcer Michael Buffer, ruffling his tuxedo and hair. Since all gay men are stylists, Moracca and Mariachi dig into their tights and use "organic hair gell" to comb Buffer's do by hand! VENTURA And [i]these[/i] are the guys who might go home as champions tonight? Huh. You think Ellen DeGeneres is rooting for Los Diablos? COLE I'd say so. Why do you ask? VENTURA Should Los Diablos win tonight they'd replace her as America's favorite gay person. Then you might see her and Rosie O'Donnell join forces and go after the belts. The music dies to build anticipation for the hometown team. The crowd becomes more rabid as each seconds passes. Then Edgar Winter's "Frankenstein" hits and the fans go crazy! BUFFER Their opponents...from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, total combine weight 525 pounds, the reigning and defending heavyweight tag team champions of the world, Big Frank and Uber Bruiser...THE SOONER BRUUUUUUUUUUUUISERS! Big Frank and Uber interact with the fans in a matter that isn't hostile, slapping hands and kissing babies. Okay, no kissing babies, but their is hand slapping. Uber runs up the steps and around the ring like a madman, HOWLING~! Frank proudly holding his tag title for all to see. The Bruisers milk every second for what it's worth, full well knowing it's a type of reaction they won't see often. Los Diablos de Fuego look like small children next to the Sooner Bruisers. Big Frank's 25" anacondas almost as big as their whole bodies! Because TV time is precious, referee Nick Patrick asks both teams to get it on already. Moracca and Mariachi's eyes light up at the prospect, until Nick bursts their fantasy and lets them know he means the match. MORACCA & MARIACHI :( :( * DING DING * The bell sounds as all 4 men prepare to engage in mortal combat...for the tag team championship of the world! Los Diablos place their mascot in the corner, rubbing its head for good luck. "The Psycho Gremlin" Uber Bruiser and Mariachi to start for their respective teams. Uber immediately suckers Mariachi into a test of strength, locking up with the flamboyant one and easily shoving him to the mat, following the move with a trademark howl. Mariachi responds with an intimidation tatic of his own, hissing as he scratches his claws at Uber! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" MORACCA :huh: VENTURA Look at 'em. Los Diablos don't know what to think of the reaction they're getting. COLE They've never been in a situation like this before, Jesse. Los Diablos give each other comfort and support, hugging in the corner to loud boos. Mariachi covers his ears to block the jeers, but it only makes matters worse. He stays positive and locks back up with Uber, who muscles him in the air and slams him to the mat! Mariachi hopes third time [i]is[/i] the charm as he locks horns yet again with Uber, only to be lifted back in the air...but this time he's ready, dropkicking the Psycho Gremlin off his feet! Mariachi monkey flips Uber out of the corner and, along with partner in and out of the squared circle, dropkick him outside! Mariachi hits the ropes and uses Moracca as a springboard, backflipping over the top and down onto Uber, only to be caught in midair and thrown into the ringpost like a human dart...but Mariachi goes Spider-Man and safely latches onto the post, humping it with mucho gusto until having to jump off as Uber charges in and... * BOOM * ...Soonerlines the steel! COLE Did you hear that?! VENTURA Uber may have just broken his arm, Cole. His arm collide with steel and I think it's safe to say steel won. You could hear that all the way up in the nose bleed section. Mariachi brings Uber back in and runs the ropes, flipping and floppying off the top and armdrags him across the ring. Uber sent in for the ride as Mariachi himself hits the ropes, leaping onto the middle rope and tagging in Moracca as he decks Uber on the rebound with a leg lariat! Moracca swings into the ring and onto the second turnbuckle for a moonsault, but Uber moves! Luckily for Moracca, he's able to improvise in mid-flight and land on his feet. But not out of harm's way. Uber runs under a leapfrog and then right through Moracca on the way back, knocking him out to the floor. Big Frank steps in for the first time and pulls Moracca up on the apron, suplexing him in overhead belly-to-belly style! Or so we thought. Moracca again lands on his feet. Frank poses for the cameras, flexing the biceps, completely unaware of what's awaiting him. He turns around and what does he see? 171 pounds of Moracca flying his way. No sweat says Frank, who catches Moracca in his arms and MILITARY PRESSES him. Big Frank displays his power to every section in the arena, then drops Moracca down to his chest for a power bodyslam...but Mariachi DROPKICKS Moracca onto him! ONE... TWO... THREE!! NO! COLE Los Diablos de Fuego a half second away from capturing the tag team championship of the world and their American citizenship. And they did it with a quick double-team maneuver, which most experts believe is the only way Los Diablos can win the match. Just like they can't match the Sooner Bruisers strength, the Sooner Bruisers can't match their speed. The homies must've heard Cole's commentary because they look to tag team Big Frank some more, but Frank makes it hard, becoming dead weight as Los Diablos try to shoot him in to the ropes. Numerous overhand chops don't even faze the Man of Tomorrow. Frank jiggles his pecs just to show Los Diablos how much effect those chops had. None. Moracca and Mariachi forced to think on their feet, which they use in their next move, kicking Frank in the gut. Now they whip Frank in, and whiff on a double handspring elbow. Big Frank ducking under and over to his corner, tagging in Uber as Los Diablos' momentum shoots them back off the ropes. With the aid of his brother, Uber is slingshotted into the ring, wiping out both Diablos with a crossbody! ONE... TWO... DOUBLE HUMP OUT! COLE Well, uh, that's certainly a unique way to escape a pinfall. Every do that in your career, Jesse? VENTURA No, but I know a few guys who have...backstage. Disturb by Los Diablos unusual methods, Uber tries to wipe the cooties off his body. As any good team would do, Los Diablos take advantage of the situation, delivering the KISS OF DEATH! LOS DIABLOS :o :o But Uber no sells the move, popping right up and stiffing the hell outta Los Diablos with a neck-snapping Soonerline! Tag made to Big Frank. The Man of Tomorrow rids the ring of Mariachi, leaving Moracca all alone to himself. Frank hooks the arms and TIGER BOMBS Moracca! The cover and count! ONE... TWO... THREE-- NO! Frank lift's Moracca's head up. He wants to inflict more damage. Frank bashes Moracca's chest with vicious forearm smashes, paint-brushing him upside the head. Frank lowers the shoulder after an Irish whip, tossing Moracca overhead...but Moracca floats over and locks on a REAR NAKED CHOKE, humping Frank in the process! "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" VENTURA Aw, man. This is the ultimate indignity. Whatever happened to slapping a guy? Big Frank remains poised, viewing Moracca as a pest than an actual threat. He slumps him over the shoulder in position for the 69 Driver. Or a TESTICULAR CLAW in Moracca's case! Moracca slips out of Frank's grip and keeps him in a grip of his own, squeezing the Man of Tomorrow balls. So big Moracca has to use both hands! KICK, WHAM...FAMEASSER! ONE... TWO... THR-- KICKOUT! And Frank is pissed. He drives Moracca into the corner and unloads with a series of shoulder thrusts and knife-edge chops. An Irish whip is followed up by a TILT-A-WHIRL SLAM...NO! Moracca takes Frank over in an armdrag. Again and again. Then a dropkick, but Big Frank swats Moracca down and kicks him in the head for good measure. Big-time Soonerline knocks the horns off Moracca's mask. Frank now tossing Moracca around the ring like a ragdoll. Suplexing him all over the place. Uber tagged in. The Pscyho Gremlin plants Moracca square in the center of the ring with a thunderous powerslam. Moracca's body bouncing inches off the mat. ONE... TWO... THRE--NO! Mariachi makes the save. Sooner Bruisers with a quick tag. Uber drapes Moracca over his shoulder as Big Frank climbs to the top and tongues his bicep, dropping a big elbow onto Moracca! Rather than go for the cover immediately, Frank decides to taunt Moracca instead, doing regular and one-hand push-ups. VENTURA I think this is a mistake here. You got your opponent down, pin him. Los Diablos are one of those teams who can pull a fast one on you. A quick roll up or small package -- match over, new champions. COLE Here's the cover! ONE... TWO... TH-- KICKOUT! Frank takes his anger out on the referee, allowing himself to get rolled up from behind! COLE Oh, school boy! He may have him! ONE... TWO... THR--KICKOUT! Smartly, Moracca shoves Big Frank to the corner and cart wheels to his, kissing Mariachi on the cheek. Nick Patrick acknowledges a tag on the part of the Sooner Bruisers as well. Mariachi springboards to the top and dives at Uber. Bad mistake. He's caught in the air and rammed into opposite corners, then slammed in the middle of the ring! VENTURA Oklahoma Stampede! COLE The very maneuver that brought an end to the reign of Black T. Big Frank sprints towards Moracca and knocks him off the apron. Nick Patrick counts the fall... ONE... TWO... THREE! * DING DING DING * "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Amazing. Absolutely amazing, Jesse Ventura! Just like that. Lights out. Sooners retain. Wow! VENTURA That's why they're the World tag team champions, Cole. They know how to close out matches. The Sooner Bruisers fell behind early, made a comeback, and then when it looks like Los Diablos are about to rally...boom!...Oklahoma Stampede. 1-2-3. Match over. Still tag team champions of the world, the Sooner Bruisers. But you gotta give Los Diablos de Fuego credit. They were outsized and yet still managed to put together a gameplan that gave them an opportunity to win. Flamboyance aside, Los Diablos are a great team, otherwise they wouldn't work for the OAOAST. COLE Exactly right. Two excellent teams competed for the top prize in their field, but only one could walk home the winner. The Sooner Bruisers successful in their first title defense. The Sooners exit to a standing ovation. As Moracca checks on Mariachi in the ring, the BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS and LOS CONQUISATADORS strike! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Moracca catches them coming in out of the corner of his eye, but is unable to fend off the 4 on 1 attack on his own. Los Conquistadors decking him with their BARB WIRE-wrapped fists, slicing Moracca open! The Blonds get in on the action, shooting him into the ropes and...DOUBLE FEATURE FLAPJACK...splash Moracca down onto Mariachi. Simon and Ned use their belts to keep OAOAST officials at bay, threatening to whip anyone who dare enters as Los Conquistadors tie Los Diablos in the ropes and feel El Ovéja up right in front of them! COLE How disgusting! Los Conquistadors molesting the masoct of Los Diablos de Fuego. There's no need for this. No need at all. Damn them! Los Conquistadors open up El Ovéja blow hole and take turns sticking their fingers into it, giggling like school girls as it deflats. Los Diablos shed tears for their beloved mascot, then blood as Uno and Dos dig their barb wire fists into the forehead! In one last cruel act, Los Conquistadors shred El apart with the barb wire, leaving what's left of it scattered across the ring in little pieces to the delight of the Blonds. [b]SPECIAL EDITION[/b] [img=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v82/papacita/OAOAST/SYNDICATED.jpg] [b][color=#993399]OCTOBER 28 CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS[/color][/b] Edited October 19, 2006 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
