So you'd like to... date Brooke Hogan

[krease 0]

Article is here: http://www.progressiveboink.com/archive/brookehogan.htm

 

I couldn't stop laughing after reading this - there's a few links off the side that are fun as well.

 

'Politics' - Despite the political success of former wrestler Jesse "The Body" Ventura, Hogan has never been able to see his political dreams through, most notably in a failed attempt at the U.S. presidency in 1998. Political experts agree that it could've been his boa and old lady sunglasses getup fueling homophobia or his two-toned beard causing discomfort in children and dogs (who only see in black and white, so to them Hogan looked like Trapjaw from He-man) that spoiled his run at the oval office, but I think it was due to the fact that he was IN CHARGE OF A LARGE GANG.

 

So Hogan's inability to manage a group of thirty guys who worked once a week by running down a ramp and standing in a ring for five minutes on a Monday night lead the nation to believe that his leadership skills weren't qualified for steering the fate of the free world. So talking politics at the dinner table is a no-no.

[TheFranchise 0]

Awesome find.

 

Don't let Hulk Hogan know you have any friends. It's a proven fact that presented with this knowledge Hulk will take necessary steps to replace all of your friends with HIS friends. So unless you want to spend your Tuesday afternoon playing Halo with Hacksaw Jim Duggan, keep your mouth shut.

 

This had me laughing.

[CanadianChris 0]

This is great.

 

Some find it hard to broach a subject with Hulk Hogan around, because they barely have time to finish a sentence before he interrupts them with violent hand gestures and "YOU KNOW SOMETHING insert name here." And by that time he's off on a tangent about riding motorcycles with his Brother Bruti and you've lost him. This is especially pressing if the situation is important. Trying to ask for Brooke's hand in marriage will inevitably be brushed off by a story about how the Big Hulkster in the Sky struck him with the lightning necessary to collect enough mortal strength to bodyslam Big John Studd. Don't worry, it's nothing personal: the man is FUCKING INSANE.

[Art Sandusky 0]

RAPE LITA: A guide by KANE, A MONSTEERRRRRR

 

Some of the other guides on the sidebar are hilarious too.

[Quasar 0]

Fuck playing Halo with Jim Duggan...............

 

How about playing Clue with Hogan's friend Ed Lesile. In this game of Clue, we guess which GIMMICK killed the man.

[TheFranchise 0]

Bonus answer:

 

It was none of them, it was his wrestling ability.

[Dobbs 3K 0]

Hillarious article. Thanks for linking to it.

 

Personally, I think a president who leads a gang of 20 or 30 tough guys would be a good thing. It would make foreign leaders think twice before messing with him, for sure.