Tony149 0 Report post Posted November 16, 2006 Hope you weren't expected too much, Alf. I spent so much energy writing my match for this week this whole segment suffered from it. Wrestler-turned color commentator-turned actor-turned politician Jesse "The Body" Ventura stands in the ring, microphone in hand. VENTURA Last week my broadcast colleague "Mean" Gene Okerlund was supposed to conduct an interview with the reigning tag team champions of the world, the Sooner Bruisers. I say supposed to because thanks to my next guests that interview never took place. So without any further ado, I introduced to you the team that shook the wrestling world one week ago, the greatest rock n wrestling band of all time...THE HEAVENLY RRRRROCKERS! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Synth and Logan enter the arena to Nirvana's "Heart-Shaped Box." Logan Usher Mann carrying a broken BROOM HANDLE, persumably the one used last week on Big Frank Bruiser. As the former tag team champions continue their march to the ring, Cole recaps last week's violent confrontation involving the Heavenly Rockers and Sooner Bruisers. Once the footage ends, it's back to Jesse in the ring with Synth and Logan. "WEL-COME BACK!" "WEL-COME BACK!" "WEL-COME BACK!" Synth and Logan acknowledge the chant, nodding and pointing at the crowd. So deafening are the chants the start of the interview is briefly delayed. VENTURA Well, it's fairly obvious the fans here in Saskatchewan are happy to see you back, but I know two guys who aren't and they just happen to be the World tag team champions. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" LOGAN Of course they wouldn't be happy. The Sooner Bruisers got a taste of what's in store for them. Having said that, I'd like to apolozie to Frank for my actions last week. I'm sorry I cracked this broom over your back, big man, I was aiming for your head but with that jacked up physique you're like a turtle inside its shell. SYNTH Hot damn, Ah think somebody got served. LOGAN An animal is said to be at its most dangerous when wounded, and right now the Heavenly Rockers are wounded mentally and physically. But that didn't stop us from coming back and unleashing hell on the men who did us wrong, Frank and Uber Bruiser, the Sooner Bruisers. Make no mistake about it, the Sooner Bruisers are a great team. The most dominating tag team in wrestling today and by far the toughest men we've faced in our two-plus years in the industry. It was them who ended our reign as World tag team champions at Angleslam. In one night they nearly accomplished what other men tried to do for months...and that's put us out of business. But as you can see, they failed. Synth and I know how to take a licking and keep on ticking, baby. It's why we've overcome every obstacle thrown our way. That and along with something called the heart of a champion. We worked too hard for us to stick our head between our legs only to leave because some people want us out. If there's one thing you don't do, it's push the Heavenly Rockers around. VENTURA The Sooner Bruisers might not be able to push you around, but they certainly can to somebody like your wife, Holly-Wood. The last time we saw her... LOGAN Don't you think I remember seeing her beautiful body lying on the mat motionless?! It's an image I'll never get out of my mind for as long as I live. And it's not just her who got bullied by the Sooner Bruisers. Not that long ago so did a couple friends of ours, the Sk8ter Boiz. I've heard the phrase used on television that I think is worth repeatedly -- the Sooner Bruisers are bullies. Their existance is based on intimidation with a little jealously thrown in. Jealous of the fact a couple rock n rollers like ourselves rose to the top while all their amatuer accolades got them nowhere in the OAOAST accept the occasion match here and there. That's when their whole outlook on life changed. Rather than work hard, they took the cheap way out. Well no more. Hate's a strong word, but not strong enough to describe our feelings about the Sooner Bruisers. Inside a cage, falls count anywhere or whatever kind of match you want, know one thing...your days of bullying people are over because the Heavenly Rockers are back to get you and the World tag team title! VENTURA All right. There you have it. The Heavenly Rockers say they're back for two things -- the Sooner Bruisers and the tag team championship of the world. We still got more to come--right now apparently! Talk about instant feedback. The SOONER BRUISERS hit the ring to deliver theirs personally, but the Heavenly Rockers are ready for more than just a critique of their promo...they're ready to fight. Big Frank tackles Logan to the ground, causing him to drop the broom handle. The two roll around the ring trading punches, while Synth and Uber go outside and hit each other with everything from steel chairs to a fan's digital camera! Various tag teams rush from the back to breakup the brawl. They include America's Team, Team Canada, D*LUX, the Beverly Hills Blonds, Team Jamaica, NRG, the Burrough Boys, and the South Central Militia. Frank isn't pleased when America's Team and Team Canada pull him off Logan, and shows it by pie-facing Charlie Moss. Quentin Benjamin stands up for his partner and takes a shot at Frank...but he ducks and the punch intended for him hits Fliex Strutter! That's all the ammo Team Canada need to get into it with Moss and Benjamin. All the other teams decided to get in on the act and suddenly a 20-man street fight erupts! COLE It's breaking loose in Saskatchewan. We desperately need to restore order. Ladies and gentlemen, don't touch that remote. We'll be back! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
