Smartly Pretty 0 Report post Posted November 17, 2006 Every light in the arena goes to full power as the Smarktron whites out. For a moment the only sound is that of a needle scratching over vinyl... “Alright King, this is the first match in the Cold Front Classic tournament…I’m expecting big things from guys who have history like these two do,” Mak says. And then *BAM* The heavy drumming of Norma Jean’s “Creating Something Out of Nothing, Only to Destroy It” blasts through the arena as the lyrics pierce the ears of everyone listening. “Like bringing a knife to a gun fight… Like Bringing A Knife To A Gun Fight… LIKE BRINGING A KNIFE TO A GUN FIGHT!” Bright white lights begin flashing at the entranceway. As the growls hit the crowd, Spike walks out wearing a black hoodie on, the hood covering most of his face. Spike drops down to one knee, leaving one arm to hang to the ground, while the other is firmly placed on his knee. After a few moments, Spike raises both arms into an “X”, symbolizing his Straight Edge life style. Spike rises to his feet and begins to make his way down the isle towards the ring. “Entering first, the five seed in the Cold Front Classic, from The Kingdom of Cambodia by way of Hollywood California…HOLLYYYWOOOOOOOOOOOD…..SPIIIIIKEEEEEEEEEE…….JEEEEEENKKKIIIIINSSSSS” Spike makes his way completely around the ring and rolls underneath the bottom rope. He continues rolling until he hits dead center in the middle of the ring. Spike rises to one knee and resumes the position he was in at the top of the entranceway. One arm hanging to the ground, the other placed on his knee. Finally, Spike rises to his feet. He quickly peels off the hood, releasing his blonde, dyed hair free. He puts his arms together, forming an “X” across his chest, again promoting his Straight Edge life style. WU-TANG CLAN COMIN’ ATCHA! With the sound RZA’s cry, Akira Kaibatsu comes out of the curtain. Akira is all business, walking straight down the aisle as a few fans slap him on the chest. “Akira did pretty well for himself in the battle royal. He was on a little bit of a cold streak going into Ashes 2 Ashes, but he beat Charlie Grappler and then surprised everyone with how far he went in that battle royal,” Mak says. “He certainly surprised me. I mean, I wasn’t even expecting him to get into the tournament,” “Don’t sell him short—” King interrupts, “Course not. He’s already short,” Funyon gets back on his microphone, “And the four seed, from Sendai Japan…he is THE DIVIINEEE WIIINDD…AKIRAAAAAAA KAIIBATSUUUUUUUU!!!” The Divine Wind rolls into the ring and is eager to start. Jumping up and down throwing punches at the air waiting for the bell. DING DING DING “And the Cold Front Classic Tournament is underway,” Akira and Spike run right at each other immediately, with Hollywood Spike lunging at Akira for a grapple, but Akira rolls under him, and runs towards the ropes. He bounces back and wants to hit Spike with a short armed clothesline, but Spike is poised in the ring and doesn’t let Akira get a quick upper hand, so Akira baseball slides beneath him. Spike turns around right away, and Kaibatsu jumps up, driving his forearm into Spike’s chin with a jumping European uppercut! “SHORYUKEN!” King laughs. Spike falls back into the ropes, stunned at how much punch Akira actually packs behind his European Uppercuts. Spike shakes it off and meets Akira in the center again. Spike offers his hand for a gerco-roman knuckle lock, and Akira accepts the challenge, but quickly turns it on Spike, wrenching his arm, and hooking his leg back for a kick to the chest of Spike. Akira then runs into the ropes, bounces off and comes flying at Jenkins with a flying clothesline. Akira kips up and runs into the side ropes, and once again bounces off. Spike rolls a little bit closer to Akira, causing Akira to skip over him, and Kaibatsu hits the other ropes. Akira comes running right back, and Jenkins catches him by the arm, throwing him backwards with an arm drag. Akira and Spike get up right away and Spike is quicker to the next move, throwing Akira back once again with an arm drag. Kaibatsu once again reaches his feet quickly and runs at Spike. Jenkins sets himself up for an arm drag once again, this time a bit too early perhaps, as Akira throws his boot at him with a strong Yakuza Kick! YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHH! “Akira basically just said “to hell with pacing myself” and nailed Jenkins in the head,” “Hey, it’s not everyday he gets to over power someone. I’d take that chance if I were him too!” Kaibatsu picks up the King of Cambodia and throws a quick elbow at his jaw, and puts him in a front facelock. He lifts him up front suplex style and holds him up there…not because he’s stalling, but because Jenkins is attempting to wrestle his way out of the front suplex and won’t allow Akira to drop him forward with The Divine Backbreaker. Spike is successful in sliding out of it though, and he ends up facing Akira’s back. Spike reaches forward and grabs Akira’s head in a cravat. “God, it seems like everyone in the SWF has this cravat fetish, and these two. Oh my god, these two just take it to a whole new level. I thought cruiserweights were supposed to be about action,” King says. Akira, a master of the cravat himself, knows just where to push Spike’s hands to get them off his head. The Divine Wind then backflips and throws his foot backwards trying to nail Spike with his own pelle kick, but Jenkins easily avoids that, seeing as it’s his own move. Jenkins then runs at the ropes as Kaibatsu begins to get up. Spike bounces back as Akira is on his knees, as he drives his foot into the back of Akira’s head with the Dangerous Wizard! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! “Spike makes a cover!” Mak says. “Could be it!” “No it isn’t” ONEEE! TWOOOOO! THRENOSHOULDERUP! “Told you it wasn’t. C’mon Mak, don’t you know that if a match is going to end in a 1k squash it’s going to end with a flash pin and not a dangerous wizard by now?” “…wait, what did you say?” “Nothing,” Spike slams the mat in frustration with his fist, and gets up right away, glaring at referee Ced Ordonez. Jenkins stalks Akira from behind and waits for him to recover from the Dangerous Wizard. Akira gets to one knee and begins to turn around, but he’s hit right away with a kick to the chest, sending him right back to both knees. Jenkins steps towards Akira once again and nails him in the chest one more time with the front of his boot. Spike steps back, and then lunches forward with his boot one more time for a kick to the head, but Akira thrusts his head out of the way, and then follows that up with a sweep of the leg. Akira stomps Spike’s chest quickly, and then runs up to the nearest turnbuckle. He climbs it quickly, and doesn’t allow any time for posturing or posing. There’s hardly any time for a camera in the audience to get a good shot of him either, as he leaps off almost immediately, tilting backwards, attempting to drive his back into Spike with a senton bomb! …but he misses, as Spike wasn’t nearly groggy enough to be down that long! BOOOOOOOOOOOO! “Yeah, smart move there Akira, dive off the top rope after barely touching Spike. fantastic idea. This kid better not win the tourney, Clusterfuck might have all time low buyrates.” King says. Jenkins picks up Akira by the hair and and puts him in a front facelock. He lifts him up and brings him just a little bit closer to the ropes in mid air, and then drops him on the ropes, flips him backwards for a slingshot suplex, but Akira spins out of it at the top of the suplex and winds up behind Spike. He twists HSJ’s arm behind him with a hammerlock, and twists around going for Crash And Burn, but Spike ducks under it and spins around to avoid the clothesline. Akira counters this by jumping forward and nailing Spike in the chin with a superkick! CRACK! YEAAAAHHHHHH! JENKINS SUCKS! JENKINS SUCKS! “Akira nailed the superkick! He almost always follows this up with a Divine Wind!” Mak shouts. Akira then grabs Spike in a cravat, and begins to run towards the turnbuckle, which is pretty close by…but then stops right in front of it, as if to change his mind. Instead, he throws Spike down with a snapmare, and grabs his chin from behind with a facelock. “What the hell?” Mak asks. “…Ahaha…Akira’s a fucking pussy!” King laughs. “What? What the hell are you talking about?” “On Aftershocks, Spike reversed The Divine Wind into The Silver Lining…Akira’s too pussy to try The Divine Wind again!” “…Nah, there’s gotta be a reason for not going for The Divine Wind right there…” “Yeah…I just told you why…” Akira let’s go of the facelock for a second and quickly jumps into the air, snapping Spike’s neck with a dropkick from the seated position, causing Spike to fall over, and roll onto his stomach. Akira jumps right on him though, and wraps his legs around Spike’s head for a figure eight necklock. He lifts his knees up and plants Spike’s face to the mat with a Skull Fuck! YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! “Skull Fuck!” Mak says. “If there’s one thing likable about Akira it’s the name of that move…but I don’t think he even came up with it,” JENKINS SUCKS! JENKINS SUCKS! Kaibatsu rolls over on top of Spike and hooks a leg… ONE! TWOO! THREE! NO! JENKINS SUCKS! JENKINS SUCKS! “Spike’s got his foot on the ropes!” Mak says. “Eh, a skull fuck wasn’t going to put him away anyway.” Kaibatsu tries to pick up Spike but he scurries out of the ring as fast as he can. Hollywood Spike catches his breath on the outside, but then something catches his eye. Or his ear rather. Jenkins sees the guy in the third row, the one chanting Jenkins sucks for a solid three minutes. Jenkins screams something at the stocky man in the Akira Kaibatsu sweatshirt, but it can’t be picked up on a microphone. Whatever he said though, it was serious, as Jenkins climbs over the guard rail and walks up to the guy. It’s not a very long confrontation though, as Akira jumps up onto the ropes and springboard front dropkicks into the crowd! YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! “Akira Kaibatsu just springboard dropkicked into the crowd! Oh my god!” “Showoff,” King scoffs. Akira picks up Jenkins by his dirty blond hair, and kicsk him in the gut. He butterflies Hollywood Spike’s arms and lifts him up. He spins him over to the guard rail and drops him over it with It Came From Sendai! “Akira sends Spike back into the ring area with It Came From Sendai…man he can hit that from anywhere…” Akira hops over the guard rail back into the ring area, and immediately climbs atop the apron. He waits for Jenkins to reach his feet, and when he does so, Akira leaps off the apron and spins around, nailing Jenkins in the face with a gamengiri off the apron! The impact from the kick sends Spike back into the guard rail, making a loud crashing noise. He’s not there for long though, as Akira whips him back into the ring. Kaibatsu soon joins him inside. “The ball’s in Akira’s court now, King. And with Akira’s high impact offense, this can’t be good for Spike,” “The ball’s in Akira’s court? Do they even play basketball in Japan?” Kaibatsu runs at the ropes as Jenkins slowly gets up. He bounces off just as Spike reaches his feet, and he jumps up into the air when he reaches Spike, nailing him in the chin with the heel of his boot for white magic! YEEEAAAAAH! “Spike is stunned! Akira’s got Spike all set up for a Divine Wind!” “He won’t hit it, Mak, I’m telling you, he’s too big a pussy,” Their argument will soon be settled though, and it looks as though Mak is the winner, as Akira grabs him in a 3/4 headlock, and begins to run towards the turnbuckle, and takes one step up it. Looks can be deceiving though. Akira steps down from the turnbuckle, and instead he drops down to the mat and plants Spike with an Ace Crusher! “HA!” King shouts. “I Told you he was a pussy!” “No time for arguments! Akira’s got a pin on Spike after an Ace Crusher!!” ONEEE! TWOOOO! THREENOFOOTONROPE! “See, maybe Akira could have picked up a win right there,” King says, “but he was too pussy to he The Divine Wind, and then he went for an Ace Crusher way too close to the ropes.” “Alright, alright, maybe he can’t go for The Divine Wind, but it’s not because he’s a pussy. The Silver Lining would end this match for sure, and he can’t risk that. Besides, he’s got a pretty explosive offense, he can win it in other ways.” Akira immediately puts those other ways to use, as he picks up Spike by his hair. He throws a mean European Uppercut at The New Straight Edge Sensations chin, which causes him to bounce back at the ropes a little bit. Akira then runs at the adjacent ropes, and then comes back violently, running faster with every step. He lifts his left leg up for a Yakuza Kick, but Jenkins ducks underneath it, and wraps himself behind him. He grabs Akira’s waist and flips him back with a German Suplex! “Bridge!” King shouts. ONEEE! TWOOOO! THREEEEEEEEEE! NOO! AKIRA KICKS OUT! “Sooooooo close!” says the Heartbreaker. “Talk about explosive offense, Mak, Spike’s got a pretty mean German Suplex right there.” “That may be true, but it wasn’t enough to put away Akira,” “No, it wasn’t, but at least Spike knows he can hit any of his moves at any time he wants. We can’t say that for Akira today,” Spike grabs Akira’s long beard and drags him by it over to the turnbuckle. He kicks Akira in the face regularly once, but then begins to humiliate The Divine Wind, scraping the bottom of his boot on Akira’s chin. After two or three hard scrapes, Spike runs back at the ropes, comes sprinting back, throwing his foot at the face of Akira…for a big miss! Kaibatsu gets out of the way quickly, Spike temporarily hung up on the ropes. Akira picks up Spike from behind and places him on the top turnbuckle facing the crowd. Akira steps up to the top, and jumps up. He catches Spike’s torso with his legs, and hooks them around, bringing Spike to the mat with an Avalanche Japanese Rolling Clutch, dropping Spike on his shoulders from the top rope! YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! “What the fuck?!” Asks King. Mak reminds him, “Don’t you remember their first match? Akira was having trouble getting offense in, and accidentally hit a Japanese Rolling Clutch from the tope rope. It nearly scored him a pinfall…now he’s having trouble getting any offense in on Spike because he doesn’t want to hit his finisher, and he’s remembering what works!” “Pfft. He was probably going for a hurricanrana and forgot how” “In any matter, Akira’s got two legs hooked! This match could be over!” ONEEE! TWOOOOO! THREENOOO! “Further proof, Mak,” King says, “That in order for moves to be effective, they have to be, you know, REAL” “Hey, that move was close to picking up Akira a victory…I’m sure Spike would tell you that the move was pretty effective,” “Spike Jenkins can’t spell effective, so his opinion on the subject doesn’t really matter,” Akira drops down to the ground beside Spike and grabs his arm. He tries to push it behind Spike, but Spike overpowers Akira, not letting The Divine Wind lock on Shadows Over Hell. Akira rolls over top of Spike’s body, and tries to lock in Shadows Over Hell from the other side, Spike’s left and non-dominant hand, but once again Spike won’t allow it, and he kicks Akira off of his body, and then rolls to his feet,” “Uh-oh, Mak!” King says. “Akira can’t lock in Shadows Over Hell…what’s he gonna do now? Looks like The Divine Wind is his ooonly option” he snickers. “He’ll lock it in eventually, and when he does it’s lights out…” Akira and Spike approach each other in the center of the ring, and Akira immediately goes for his signature European Uppercut. Spike is nearly immune to them at this point, this being their fourth match, and answers right back with a European Uppercut of his own! Akira is taken back a bit, finally feeling what he’s been nailing people with left and right for over a year now. Spike takes this opportunity to whip Akira into the ropes, and get ready for a big move on the return, but Akira bounces back and as soon as he does so he grabs Spike by the arm and spins and whips him into the ropes. Spike jumps up onto the middle rope, and spins in mid air nailing Akira in the face with Akira’s own Kamikaze Rush! “Kamikaze Rush on Akira?” King questions. “I love it!” “Remember, in their pure rules match that move ending up being a turning point in the match, allowing Akira to hit the Rising Sun, which gave him the win.” “It’s beginning to look like this match is just an extension of all their other matches…just minus The Divine Wind,” King laughs. “You know, Akira’s never actually beaten Spike with The Divine Wind,” Mak rattles off trivia. “He’s 2-1 against Spike. First win was a school boy, the second was The Rising Sun,” “Well, thank you Tony Reali,” “Tony Reali…? I don’t get it…” “Nevermind,” Spike Jenkins then gets up and rolls his hands in a spinning motion over his head as he goes over to the top turnbuckle. He climbs it and the arena erupts, awaiting the high flying maneuver. “Spike’s going for the Ratings Grabber, King! Spike used this in their pure rules match and Akira had to waste one of his rope breaks on it! This could be the end for Akira!” Spike leaps off the ropes, bringing his limbs in towards the core of his body and then stretching them back out before he lands on top of Akira’s gut. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! “The Ratings Grabber!” Shouts the heartbreaker. “Spike’s going to pick up the win!” ONEEEEEEE! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THREEEEEENOOOFOOOTONROPEEEEEEEEEEEEE! YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHH! “Akira gets a shoulder up! Akira’s shoulder is up!” shouts Mak. “He’s still in this!” “Not for long…” says King. Spike screams at Ced Ordonez, telling him that was a three count. Ordonez shakes his head – which takes some bravery when you’re staring down a man who could put you in a wheelchair when he’s angry. Spike decides however to focus that anger on Akira, who isn’t in any hurry to get up after that frog splash. Spike does him a favor though and lifts him up by the hair, and locks him in a front facelock. He pulls him up vertically…and then drops him down on his head with a brainbuster. “I like this strategy. Mak, I like this strategy,” King nods his head, “He’s wearing down Akira’s head. His neck’s going to be in so much pain it’s going to make going for that Divine Wind a much bigger debate in Akira’s head.” “Akira still has Shadows Over Hell…he can win it with something other than The Divine Wind,” “He can’t lock in Shadows Over Hell! He tried, he failed miserably!” Spike picks up Akira by the hair – which also works on that neck area a little bit – and throws a European Uppercut at his jaw. Spike throws one more European uppercut, and then grabs him behind his head and sweeps him to the ground. “Russian leg sweep…not so high impact, but I’m sure he’s got something in store for Akira,” King says, as Spike rolls Akira over, and grabs his left arm. He tucks the arm over his neck, and then grabs Kaibatsu’s face and crosses his hands over it for the Strong Island Stretch! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! “Strong Island Stretch!” King shouts. “I knew he had something in store! Oh, it’s a thing of beauty!” “More work on the neck, too,” Mak comments. “Forget the neck! Akira’s going to tap out!” King may be right, as Kaibatsu is struggling to move over towards the ropes. Making only centimeters of progress at a time, Spike’s arms are making a world of progress on Akira’s ailing neck. Kaibatsu bends his knees and lunges forward, and that gets him a little bit further along, but the pressure on his neck is just too much. … … He has to tap ….but he doesn’t! He lunges forward one more time, and makes an attempt at the bottom rope! ….failing to get it! “Akira’s too short! He can’t get to the rope!” King says. “This match is over!” With Spike ripping and tearing at Akira’s neck, there’s not much time left for The Divine Wind, and his Cold Front Classic run may end here…but Akira has different plans, and makes one more dive for the rope… … BREAK! YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! “What?!” King says. “No! Spike had him in the Strong Island Stretch! This match should be over!” “Well it’s not, King! Akira’s still in this thing, injured neck or not!” Spike let’s go of the hold right away though. He has a sinister smile on his face, as if he expected Akira to get to the ropes, and had this all plotted out. He picks up Kaibatsu by his stylish beard…and puts him in Jenkins’ favorite time stalling and neck wrenching move, the cravat. “Spike’s got a cravat locked in…” “Spike’s got a cravat locked in!” “This is going to do serious damage to Akira’s neck,” “If Akira’s neck is still there! This is going to slowly but surely drain away Kaibatsu’s stability in his neck. He can’t possibly go for The Divine Wind now, a Silver Lining could take him out of action for months.” Spike let’s go of the cravat and throws The Divine Wind forward with a snapmare, and then follows it up with a vicious dropkick. Spike’s done the combination several times over the course of the match, but none of them hurt quite like that one did. Spike kicks Akira’s head, and watches it bounce off the mat before picking The Divine Wind up. He throws another European Uppercut before whipping him into the ropes. Kaibatsu bounces back, and comes running at Spike. Spike lifts his leg up for a Yakuza Kick, but he mistimes it, and Akira can run under Spike. The Divine Wind grabs Spike’s head from behind in a dragon clutch, and he lifts him up vertically. He drops him back downards crushing his chin on Akira’s shoulder with the Kaibatsu Drop!!!! YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! “AKIRA HIT THE KAIBATSU DROP! IT’S ALL OVER!” ONEEEEEEE! TWOOOOOOOO! THREEEEEENOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! “Spike kicks out! Spike kicks out of the Kaibatsu Drop! Akira CANNOT put The New Straight Edge Sensation Away!” Akira doesn’t give up though. He picks up Spike by his hair, and then takes his arm. He slides it behind Spike’s back, and then grabs the other arm. He tries to slide it behind the loop created, but Spike won’t allow it, he fights out. “Akira can’t get Shadows Over Hell locked in!” King laughs giddily. “What the hell’s he gonna do…” Mak says biting his fingernails for Akira’s safety. Akira gives up with the Shadows Over Hell. He takes a step back, and then one big step forward again, shooting his boot at Spike’s chin with a superkick! He then grabs Spike’s head in a cravat… “He’s going for The Divine Wind!” Mak shouts. “He’s gonna fucking kill himself!” Akira runs with the cravat up the turnbuckle. Up the first buckle… Will he make it… Up the second buckle… He’s not gonna make it… Off the third buckle He’s not gonna make it… Completely vertical… And Spike lunges forward and grabs the turnbuckle, with all his might! Akira didn’t make it! “Holy shit!” Mak shouts. “Akira’s screwed! He went for the home run and he missed!” Akira sits in the air, almost completely upside down…he’s fucked and he knows it…Spike knows it…he let’s go of the Divine Wind, for there’s nothing he can do about it up there. He lands behind Spike. …and throws a Big European Uppercut at the back of his head! CRACK! He then takes one of Spike’s arms and folds it behind his back. He flips backwards, throwing Spike behind his back, dropping The New Straight Edge Sensation on his head! “HALF NELSON SUPLEX!!!” Mak shouts! ONEEEE! TWOOOOOOOO! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! DING DING DING! “Akira did it!” Mak shouts, “Akira didn’t need the Divine Wind to beat Spike!” “Wha..bu…his neck…” King is speechless,” “Here is your winner, advancing to the second round of the Cold Front Classic…The Divine Wind…AKIRRRAAAA…KAAIIIBATSUUUUUUUUU!” “That was a spectacular comeback from Akira…I didn’t actually think he’d pull it out…stay tuned to see what kind of jackass chicanery tom Flesher can pull out though,” “and we’ve got a hell of a main event, so stick around” FADE OUT Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
