King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted November 30, 2006 "He who appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward So a wounded man shall say to his assailant if I live, I will kill you If I die, you are forgiven Such is the rule of honor" "Omerta" by Lamb Of God thunders through the dim arena as the stage is clouded in a cloud of firey orange smoke. And like a vision of hell, through the smoke emerges the monster known as JINGUS. The smoke continues to plume behind him as he strides down the aisle. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first, the challenger. From The Depths Of HELL~! Weighing in at three hundred, fourty seven pounds... one half of HELL'S HITMEN, this is... JJJJJIIIIIIIINNGGUUUUUSSSSSSS!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE JINGUS, former OAOAST World Tag Team Champion... COACH And Women's Champion. COLE Dark days... dark days. JINGUS slowly makes his way up the ring steps and into the ring (hey, the guy [i]is[/i] pushing four hundred pounds), glaring out at the Philadelphia crowd and razzing out his tongue. COLE Anyway, JINGUS looking to add the 24/7 Title to his résumé tonight, which is a distinct possibility with no disqualifications in this match. Plus Bohemoth is returning tonight after a shoulder injury sustained back at Syndicated, so might not be back to 100% yet. COACH Well, I don't think ring rust'll be a big problem tonight. It's hard to forget how to swing a chair. *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER And his opponent... from Greenville, South Carolina! He weighs in at two hundred and eighty four pounds... the reigning and defending OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPION... "THE METEROSEXUAL MONSTER"... BBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHHEEEEEEEEEMMMOOOOOOOOTTHHHHHH!!!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Through the sliding doors strolls Bohemoth with his typical nonchalance, 24/7 Title proudly over shoulder and the trusty orange shades stylishly over eyes. Bo doesn't seem all that worried by JINGUS as he makes a confident walk to the ring and jogs right up the steps. The monster JINGUS just watches on, happy to bide his time. Bohemoth takes a moment to climb the ropes and pose with the belt. And as ever in Philly, some fans see fit to flip Bo off, just because. More fool them. Coz he's cool n' stuff. COLE No question, this is the biggest test of Bohemoth's title reign, both physically and metaphorically. JINGUS has an abnormally high pain threshold and a reputation in these no rules environments. *DINGDINGDING!* JINGUS takes a big step forward as the bell sounds and commands the centre of the ring, daring Bohemoth to take him on. Not intimidated, the 24/7 Champion runs a hand across his chin with a wry smile. The belt is safely handed to ringside and Bo looks ready to go. COLE One thing's for sure, Bohemoth isn't going to back down from The Devilman. In an attempt to psyche his opponent out, JINGUS razzes out his tongue and gives him the slow throat cut. But, like anyone over the age of 12 should, Bo realises that Halloween is kids stuff adopted by the gay community and commercialised to attract your hard earned dollars and doesn't flinch what-so-ever. Realising he's not getting anywhere, JINGUS lands a right hand. Bo fires right back, retaliated by JINGUS, then by Bohemoth and before you know it it's BREAKIN' DOWN IN PHILADELPHIA! The two bigmen exchange right hands back and forth for a few second before coming to a collective stop, realising they're making no headway. So Bohemoth instead hits the ropes, charging back with a big shoulderblock that barely staggers JINGUS! COLE The irresistable force and the immovable object. COACH Did you just call Bo irresistable? Bohemoth tries his luck again with the shoulderblock but JINGUS again takes little more than a step back in response. COACH I think Bo needs a new tactic. Not one to back down, Bo hits the ropes for a third time. This time JINGUS isn't waiting around to be hit and swings out with a clothesline, but Bo ducks underneath. Hitting the opposite ropes, Bohemoth then lunges out with a Yakuza Kick. JINGUS sidesteps the boot and catches Bo from behind in a waistlock, but Bo doesn't fancy being on the recieving end of a German and breaks The Devilman's grip. With a quick 180, The Meterosexual Monster then whips his mighty arm around with a big time clothesline... ...and knocks JINGUS down! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Woah! Down goes the bigman! Cover is made by Bo... 1... 2... No! Predictably enough, JINGUS doesn't stay down for long. Bohemoth stays on him with some clubbing blows over the back but JINGUS continues to climb to his feet, forcing The Meterosexual Monster to trap him in a front facelock to try and keep him controlled. Planting his feet, JINGUS pushes forward regardless and forces Bohemoth back into the corner. A shoulder to the gut follows, keeping Bo trapped in the corner as JINGUS fires off a standing corner clothesline, the lack of run-up not making a bit of difference to the effects on Bohemoth. COLE This is where Bohemoth is in trouble, when JINGUS has him cornered and within close confines. JINGUS is a big guy, the less movement he's forced to make, the better. Bo tries to push JINGUS away but doesn't get very far, JINGUS coming right back at him with a knee that further crushes him against the buckles. Exposing the chest, JINGUS then rears back with his mighty arms... *SLAP!* ...and comes down across Bo's well developed trapezius muscles with a big Mongolian Chop! *SLAP!* And again! Bo is left slumped in a corner as JINGUS razzes out the tongue to the crowd again. Typically the Philly fans aren't shy about expressing their feelings, even if JINGUS is an evil psycho monster who'd probably tear their heads off in one swift motion. The Devilman just turns back to Bohemoth and drags him from the corner. A scoop and a slam plants Bohemoth in the middle of the ring, setting him up for a BIG elbow from JINGUS, which stays planted for the pin... 1... 2... No! "YOU FAT FUCK!" "YOU FAT FUCK!" "YOU FAT FUCK!" COLE Hostile crowd as ever. COACH Not that it'll bother JINGUS. Does he even understand English? COLE Good question. Bringing Bohemoth back up to his feet, JINGUS scoops The Meterosexual Monster up over his shoulder with scary ease and walks him around the ring. All the struggling and squirming from Bohemoth eventually allows him to slip free however and he puts all his force into shoving JINGUS forward and into the ropes. Back thunders JINGUS and he looks for a clothesline. Bohemoth ducks underneath and goes for the ropes himself. But JINGUS waits on him and with a quick duck of the head, he sweeps Bo over, coming down with his considerable body weight with a big Samoan Drop!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE When was the last time someone threw Bohemoth around with this ease? COACH How about never? Rather than follow up, JINGUS rolls on out to ringside and makes his way over to the crowd. Wisely the fans get out of dodge and one of them pays for it with the loss of a seat as JINGUS grabs a steel chair from the front row. Meanwhile, Bohemoth is pulling himself up on the ropes in the ring. He doesn't get further than his knees though... *CRAACK!* ...as JINGUS PITCHES the steel chair into the top of his head!! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COACH And the crowd cheer. COLE Well, yeah. Someone getting hit in the head with a chair is someone getting hit in the head with a chair, they don't play favourites here Coach. Once retrieved, the chair goes back into the ring. And it's not alone as JINGUS reaches under the ring and retrieves a TABLE, which is enough to perk the Philly crowd up. JINGUS dumps the table in and slides back in under the bottom rope, although it's a far from graceful 'slide'. "BO!" "BO!" "BO!" "BO!" The majority of the crowd are in Bohemoth's corner as JINGUS pulls him back up, landing another Mongolian Chop. Obviously JINGUS is smarter than you'd expect, aiming right at the nerves in the neck and dropping Bo to one knee with one swipe. JINGUS then pulls Bo in and sets him for a Powerbomb, but Bohemoth manages to lift up... up... and eventually backdrop the monster over! COLE That's some power right there! JINGUS struggles back up and Bohemoth quickly retrieves the steel chair. And The Devilman looks set for a reciept, as Bohemoth swings with the chair... *CRACK!* ...and THUNDERS it across JINGUS's head! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" That's enough to put JINGUS down, Bo with the lateral press... 1... 2... Not enough! Bohemoth climbs back to his feet, trying to bring JINGUS with him. Not happening. JINGUS lands a headbutt to the stomach and Bo ends up falling into the turnbuckles to regain his breath. Irish whip then sends Bohemoth corner to corner, JINGUS chundering in after with a big Avalanche! COACH Man, Bo just disappeared for about a second. COLE JINGUS is a load, that's for sure. 360 plus pounds crushing Bohemoth against the buckles right there. Collapsed in the corner, The Meterosexual Monster is left behind for the moment as JINGUS drags the table into the centre of the ring and begins setting it up. Out comes the tongue and the slow throat cut looks ominous for Bohemoth as JINGUS approaches, bringing him out of the corner. Another Mongolian Chop leaves Bo staggered in front of the table, a second Mongolian leaving him virtually immobilised as JINGUS switches behind. The German Suplex attempt is blocked by The Meterosexual Monster, but JINGUS beats the 24/7 Champion and instead steps around the front, locking on the CLAW~! COLE Uh-oh... And from the Claw, with JINGUS, comes the Claw Slam... *CRAASH!* ...THROUGH THE TABLE!!! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE We might have a new Champion right here! JINGUS plants his hand on Bo's chest and that's rightfully ruled as a pin... 1... 2... KICKOUT!! COLE NO! Bohemoth kicks out! Amazing! As Bo struggles for breath in the ring, out of the ring goes JINGUS and back under the ring skirt to look for more weapons. After a few seconds rummaging, JINGUS eventually returns and comes out wielding a leather strap. A leather strap wrapped in BARBED WIRE! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh man, I just got some flashbacks from that. COACH No question. COLE Who'll ever forget the TLC 30 Minute Iron Man Barbed Wire Strap Match with Dan Black? COACH With a name like that, no-one. Little does Bo know what's coming as the bigman closes back in on him again. JINGUS winds up the strap and as Bohemoth comes out of the corner, JINGUS charges him, looking to clothesline him with the barbed wire strap... ...but Bo DUCKS! The Devilman puts on the brakes and turns around with the strap still wound and wielded, but Bo ducks his head early and executes a double leg, LIFTING the 367 pound JINGUS off the canvas and driving him down with a Front Spinebuster!! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Where the hell did THAT come from!? The strap goes flying, as Bohemoth makes the cover... 1... 2... NO! COLE And JINGUS kicks out! I'm not sure he's taken too many moves like that in his career, but he still had the reserve to get out before the three! COACH He might not have much reserve for long though. Fueled by the kickout and realising he has to stay on The Devilman while he can, Bohemoth scrambles over and eyes up the barbed wire strap! And hey, No DQs, so why not? Grabbing the leather strap, Bohemoth lines JINGUS up as he crawls onto all fours... *THWACK!* "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" ...AND WHIPS HIM ACROSS THE BACK! *THWACK!* "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" ...AND AGAIN, the barbed wire getting tangled up in JINGUS's ring gear which prevents a third whipping... *THWACK!* "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" ...for a few seconds anyway. COLE Bohemoth really letting JINGUS have it with that strap! COACH He might be the coolest man in the OAOAST this side of me, but cross him and this is what you get! Bohemoth ends it at three and drops the strap down on the canvas in a heap, giving JINGUS the THUMBS DOWN~! as he limps back up. That's usually the signal for the Erotic Awakening Of B, but JINGUS as I keep reminding you is three hundred, sixty seven pounds so that's not happening. JINGUS stumbles around and walks into Bohemoth, who goes with what worked already, hoisting JINGUS up with the Front Spinebuster... ...AND PLANTING HIM ON THE BARBS AND THE STRAP AND THE BROKEN SHARDS OF TABLE!!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Right on the barbed wire! That's got to be all! Bohemoth rolls and hooks the leg... 1... 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* COLE And Bohemoth survives the monster! "Liberate" hits and Bohemoth doesn't waste time in asking for his belt. Hey, he earnt it. A quick raise of the belt and Bohemoth exits the ring, nursing his neck a little as he goes. BUFFER Your winner of this contest and STILL OAOAST 24/7 Champion... "THE METEROSEXUAL MONSTER"... BBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHHEEEEEEEMMMMOOOOOTTHHHHHH!!!! COLE He didn't come out without a fight and without feeling the effects, but in the end it's another impressive victory for The Meterosexual Monster. And it's got to be just a matter of time before Bohemoth finds himself in line for a shot at our World Champion, surely. COACH Well, I don't know about that... COLE He beat Alfdogg. Now, a victory over JINGUS. COACH Yeah, but... let's not get ahead of ourselves. COLE We'll see. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
