HD: Philly Street Fight

[King Cucaracha 0]

COLE
Okay, we've taken our last commercial break people and now, we're eagerly anticipating one of the biggest HeldDOWN~! main events of the year. The Hooligans, Jamie O'Hara and The GPX, take on three men who in a past life were collectively known as Martial Law; Todd Cortez, Bloodshed and Landon Maddix. And naturally, in Philly, Anglesault has decided to throw the rulebook off the balcony and through a flaming table, ruling that the match will be a PHILADELPHIA STREET FIGHT!!

COACH
That's right Mikey. This arena has hosted some of the wildest, bloodiest, craziest brawls in this business and we might just add another to the list tonight. My boys, The Hooligans, are gonna be taking the SWF boys to the EXTREME!

COLE
I believe that might be copyrighted. We'll look into that.


BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is your MAIN EVENT of the evening... a PHILADELPHIA STREET FIGHT! In this match there are no countouts, no disqualifications, one fall to a finish!!


[b]"REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH!"[/b]

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

The crowd greet The Hooligans with the same hostility as any other city in America, or beyond for that matter, as "Personal Jesus" thumps through the arena P.A. Leading the way in his street clothes, Todd Cortez storms down with intent on the back of his defeat just three nights ago at November Reign. Bloodshed follows close behind. Unlike his partner, he's come ready prepared for the fight, as over his shoulder he carries a small holdall, with lighttubes noticeably poking their neon heads out for all to see.

BUFFER
Introducing first, representing THE HOOLIGANS... "THE URBAN LEGEND" TTOOOOOODD CCOOOOORRRRTTEEEEEZZZZZ... and BBLLLLLLOOOOOOOOODDSSSSSHHHHHEEEEEEEDD!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

A small wait later and the team is complete, as Landon Maddix saunters out. Still basking in the glow of victory three days on, Landon and Megan swagger down the aisle, with the most hostile reception having been saved for the duo. Not that Maddix seems to mind, taking it all in with a cocky smirk.

BUFFER
And their partner. Accompanied to the ring by MEGAN SKYE... from Huron, South Dakota, he weighs in at two hundred, fifteen pounds... LLAAAAAAANNDDOOOOOONN "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMMMAAAAAADDIIIIIIIXXXXXXXX!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COLE
Well, here we go. Ultimate Punishment was something. War Games was something. But, there's something in the air, in this building, that tells me we might not have seen anything yet.

COACH
Definately. These people came for blood and they won't be disappointed, I'm sure.

COLE
The spoils were shared at November Reign, with Landon and Bruce Blank coming up winners against The GPX and Cortez falling of course to Zack Malibu. This feud has ran and ran and the chances of this being the final chapter are somewhere between slim and none, but bragging rights as ever are always at stake. However, you get the feeling that tonight isn't about wins and losses. It's about inflicting yet more scars and shedding yet more blood.

Landon joins his partners in the ring, spinning into the centre of the ring with such pomp and circumstance that he manages to turn the crowd further against him. Strangely, or perhaps not so, Cortez and Bloodshed dis-associate themselves with all of Landon's antics, leaving him to get on with jawing with the Philly crowd.

"FUCK YOU LAN - DON!"
*clap clap clapclapclap*
"FUCK YOU LAN - DON!"
*clap clap clapclapclap*

For all the good it does.


[i]”In a world full of posers, phonies, and pure wannabees,
There finally emerges a group
Which has come to set the record straight
So, all you suckers better recognize, ya heard
Can you say uhhh na na na na”[/i]

"YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Predictably, The Hooligans aren't hanging around. Michael Buffer has already fled to the safety of ringside but even there he doesn't feel safe enough or see the need for an introduction as The Hooligans hit the ring and find themselves pounced on by the trio in the ring!

COACH
IT'S ON! IT. IS. OOONN!


*DINGDINGDING!*

O'Hara doesn't last long as Cortez kicks him out of the ring, following out and taking the fight to the floor. It's Bloodshed on Jax meanwhile, while Landon has got the jump on Static and puts the boots to the GPXer, dropping to his knees and laying on a blatant choke.


*CRACK!*

And it doesn't take long for the weapons to come into play, as Cortez lays out O'Hara with a chairshot to the spine!

COLE
The Hooligans aren't wasting any time and sure enough, chaos has ensued. The deciding pinfall is going to have to be scored within the ring, but this could spill anywhere, so I hope security are on the ball tonight!

Back in the ring and it's still Bloodshed on Jax, Maddix on Static. Maddix takes a moment to once again argue with the Philly crowd though, which allows Static a window back into the fight, blasting Landon with a double leg takedown and mounting him with a flurry of right hands! Spotting this, Bloodshed quickly abandons Jax and pounces on Static with a double sledge, dragging Static away and trapping him in the corner with a choke. Soon to be joined by Landon, who lays in some stomps for good measure.

"HOO - LI - GANS!"
"HOO - LI - GANS!"
"HOO - LI - GANS!"
"HOO - LI - GANS!"

The crowd are trying to get behind the former 6-Man Tag Champs as Static is double-teamed in the corner. O'Hara fares little better on the floor as Cortez lays him throat first over the barricade and chokes away, letting the fans get a good look in the process.

COACH
You said about The Hooligans wasting no time, but they might have wasted too little time. They got jumped on the bell and there's been no let up since.

COLE
That's one thing we've come to expect from these Wildcards.

COACH
Sneak attacks?

COLE
Well... that wasn't what I meant, but, yes.

Johnny Jax is finally up and to the rescue, dragging Bloodshed off of Static and dropping him with a big right hand! Landon sees all this happening but doesn't have enough time to get away before he too gets dropped! Another right for Bloodshed follows! But a jab to the eyes from Landon cuts Jax's mini-fightback off in it's prime.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

A quick back elbow keeps Static quiet before Maddix goes back after Jax...


*SLAP!*

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

...landing a quick knifedge chop.


*SLAP!*

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

...and a second. Jax takes a moment to nurse the chest so Landon hits the ropes and gets a run-up looking for a big forearm. Duck underneath by Jax isn't quite what Maddix intended but he looks to make the best of it, leaping up to the middle rope on the other side and somersaults backwards. Jax sidesteps the Quebrada attempt and hits the ropes himself, aiming for the off-balance Next Generation with a clothesline which Maddix just manages to duck in time, executing a go behind and kneeing Jax in the kidneys. Down to one knee goes Johnny Jam, but he's quickly brought back to his feet and guided across the ring, Maddix leaping over the top and bringing The GPXer down throat-first across the top ring rope with the Macho Neck Snap!!

MADDIX
OOOOOOHHHHH YYEEEEEE...


*THUD!*

"YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

But Landon's posing and posturing distract him from Scotty Static and a soaring Somersault Plancha, dig it!

COLE
Scotty Static taking to the air!

COACH
Nobody does it better Mikey.

Except maybe Jamie O'Hara, who's taken into the air courtesy of an irish whip into the steel barricade, flipping up and over into the crowd! Security scramble in and the fans part like the red sea as Cortez follows after O'Hara, taking the fight into the crowd, like you just KNEW it would!

COACH
The lawyers are on the edge of their seats right now.

Cortez mows his way through the chairs in hot pursuit of O'Hara, deflecting a thrown chair and booting The Birmingham Bad Boy upside the head. Grabbing hold of O'Hara by the head, Cortez drags his scrawny English opponent off to the right and towards the bleachers at the back of the building. Fans scatter, providing Todd space to hurl O'Hara into the lower seats. O'Hara is left slumped across the bottom step of the bleachers as Cortez grabs a discarded soda can (nevermind that there's trash cans provided, Philly) and approaches O'Hara. A sudden kick from J-OH stuns him though, causing him to drop the can right at Jamie's feet...


*CRUNCH!*

...which is too tempting for Jamie to pass up!

COLE
And that'll shred your skin in a hurry.

Cupping Cortez behind the head, O'Hara throws The Urban Legend into the bleachers, Cortez's head hitting one of the metal steps and snapping back violently. O'Hara is right on him with some right hands as the two brawl up the bleachers, towards the topmost seat.

COACH
I've got a bad feeling about this.

COLE
You and me both. Bleachers aren't designed to be fought on, although maybe in some cases they should be.

Reaching the top, O'Hara throws Cortez into the wall behind the bleachers. Luckily they're tight to the wall so there's no drop just yet. But the night is young. O'Hara puts a few stomps in on Cortez before turning to the crowd and firing them up, distracting him as Cortez fires off a roundhouse that catches Jamie low in the gut, perhaps even lower. Over doubles O'Hara as Todd looks around and gives the signal that it's OVAH~! Which it could be, match, career, life perhaps, if Cortez has what it seems planned as he pulls O'Hara into a standing headscissors.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COLE
Oh no... no, he wouldn't.

COACH
The hell he wouldn't! Of course he would, he's sadistic!

Cortez fights off some resistance from O'Hara before giving the 'flippy signal', which could only mean Riot Act Plus!

Thank God then for Scotty Static, having arrived just in time and with a chair in hand.



*CRACK!*

"YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Taking the chair between the shoulder blades, Cortez tumbles down the bleachers which is far from a comfortable ride.

COLE
Wow, O'Hara's life must have flashed before his eyes for a second there. But luckily Scotty Static sensed his partner was in trouble and came to the rescue.

COACH
That's what The Hooligans are about. They watch each others' backs, that's how you do on the streets. All for one and one for all.

COLE
I'm pretty sure that's copyrighted too.

As Cortez hits the floor, Static stalks after him with the chair still in hand. But from out of the shadows creeps Landon Maddix, skulking around until the time is right and attacking Static from behind with forearms. Static ends up dropping the chair and Maddix continues the onslaught, the two brawling up the side of the bleachers as Maddix irish whips Scotty, sending him into the wall with a *THUD!*. Static bounces back off the wall and drops to his knees, Maddix pouncing with more forearms. Behind him, Cortez is up. Despite some nicks and cuts up and down his back Cortez joins in the beating of Static, with Johnny Jax still in the ring and unable to help, due to being pre-occupied with Bloodshed.

"JA - MIE!"
"JA - MIE!"
"JA - MIE!"
"JA - MIE!"

The chants meanwhile are caused by Jamie O'Hara, pulling himself up on the top step of the bleachers and looking around the crowd. He's actually looking for Cortez, who he soon finds down below putting the fists to Scotty Static, while Maddix holds him at bay. Most people would jog down the bleachers and come to their partner's aid.

Jamie O'Hara isn't most people.

Turning his back on the trio a good eight or ten feet below, O'Hara slowly inches back to the edge of the bleachers. Maddix eventually sees the shadow looming over him and alerts Cortez to the danger. But by then O'Hara is already in motion, backflipping over the edge...






...AND WIPING ALL THREE MEN OUT WITH A DOUBLE MOONSAULT OFF THE BLEACHERS!!!!!!!


"OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COACH
OH MY GAAAAAWWWWWDD~!


"HOLY SHIT!"
"HOLY SHIT!"
"HOLY SHIT!"
"HOLY SHIT!"

COLE
That may be the damndest thing I've EVER seen on an OAOAST show! Not just a dive off the bleachers, not just a moonsault, but a DOUBLE moonsault! TWO moonsaults in one movement! That's... that's insane!

COACH
The average person couldn't do that many flips off of the roof of this building, let alone just off the bleachers.

COLE
The average person wouldn't even contemplate trying it!

COLE
Mah boy's one of a kind!

All four men lie in a human dogpile on the New Alhambra floor, the fans going nuts all around them which is giving security one hell of a job to control them.


Their inactivity gives us the perfect opportunity to cut back to the ring meanwhile, as Johnny Jax watches on, stunned. From his vantage point he can't see whether O'Hara crashed and burned or just crashed. He also can't see Bloodshed, crawling across the ring behind him and reaching out for his holdall. Opening it up, it soon becomes clear that Bloodshed has more than just lighttubes in his bag of tricks, as he climbs back to his feet holding a weapon in hand.

A STAPLE GUN!

"YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
Oh boy, shades of School's Out!

COACH
Turn around J!

Johnny can't hear Coach from up in the Eagle's Nest. To be fair, he probably wouldn't hear him from three feet away with all the noise in the arena, but that's neither here nor there. Unable to see what happened to his tag partner, Jax turns around and goes back to the action. Bloodshed quickly charges him with the staple gun wielded, but Jax sees him coming and goes to the knee with a basement dropkick, cutting Bloodshed down... and sending him face-first into the middle turnbuckle! Bloodshed is left checking his nose is still in place on his face, allowing Johnny Jax to gain possession of the staple gun!!

"YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
Jax has the staple gun! We might be about to see a little payback for School's Out right here!

Pulling himself back to his feet, Bloodshed searches in vain for the staple gun. Figuring it must have fallen from the ring, Bloodshed wheels around and charges at Jax... right into a boot to the gut...



*DFFT!*

"YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"


...AND A STAPLE RIGHT TO THE HEAD!!!!

COLE
Hopefully you all put the women and children to bed already, but if not, we suggest you do right now.

COACH
And if any of our advertisers are watching, maybe you should go too.

Bloodshed writhes on the canvas as Jax, still clutching the staple gun, exits the ring and goes to the crowd. A few of the fans offer up their chairs to Triple J, but Jax declines and instead holds his hands out, begging for money! Surprisingly the fans are eager to give, Jax taking three dollar bills and rolling back into the ring.

COACH
Bah! He should have ran and taken the money.

On his knees, Bloodshed checks his forehead for blood, which unsurprisingly it supplies. The trickle of blood actually seems to bring a smile to Bloodshed's face, a smile which is wiped off as Jax scoots around and kicks him in the chest, rocking Bloodshed back. He stays on his knees though. Unfortunately for him, as Jax pins one of the dollar bills onto his forehead...




*DFFT!*

...AND STAPLES IT DOWN!! 

"YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COACH
Paybacks are a bitch!

COLE
Well, we expected blood and we're seeing it right now!

The cut on Bloodshed's forehead is opened up even more, or at least accompanied by another cut, the blood really beginning to flow and staining the dollar red.

"ONE MORE TIME!"
"ONE MORE TIME!"
"ONE MORE TIME!"
"ONE MORE TIME!"

But the fans aren't satisfied yet, wanting to see Bloodshed put through even more torture. Jax is happy to oblige them, pinning dollar bill number two down...





*DFFT!*


...AND STAPLING IT TO HIS [b]NOSE[/b]!!!!!

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COACH
AAAAHH!

COLE
Oh, MY! I can't imagine how AGONISING that must be!

Bloodshed's eyes go wide as saucers as the bill stays stapled to his nose, dangling bloodily over his lips. And even Jax seems to think enough is enough now, shoving Bloodshed onto his back and making the cover...


1...






2...






But Bloodshed KICKS OUT!

COLE
How!? Or, better yet, Why!?

Dropping the staple gun, Jax now exits the ring and goes under the ring. Referee Charles Robinson checks to see if the bloody Bloodshed wants to quit but of course he doesn't, as another roar goes up through the arena, at the sight of a TABLE being dragged into view by Johnny Jax!

COLE
It wouldn't be Philadelphia without a table or two!

Jax quickly sets the table up on the outside, positioning it next to the ring apron and giving it a slap for good luck. And to indicate, if it wasn't clear already, that somebody's going to go through it. 

COLE
Well, we've lost sight of the other four men in this match and our cameraman is stranded in amongst the fans. So it seems like we're down to just one on one, at least for the moment. Johnny Jax and Bloodshed

COACH
Let's hope the cops haven't intervened.

Back in rolls Jax, catching Bloodshed from behind with a quick knee and setting him up for a back suplex. Bloodshed floats behind and lands on his feet though, somehow still able to fight even with two dollar bills stapled to his face as he pushes Jax into the ropes in front. Back bounces Jax and Bloodshed quickly backs against the ropes, ducking his head and looking to backdrop Johnny over the top and through the table...




...succeeding only with Part 1, Jax landing safely on the apron and hanging Bloodshed up throat first across the top rope!

JAX
JAM SESSION!!

"YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
Jax is looking for the Jam Session, presumably through that table, which is what won The GPX their Hooligan Street Fight with D*LUX a few months ago! If he hits it, chances are Bloodshed is done!

As the crowd buzz away, Jax pulls Bloodshed up and reaches over the ropes, looking to lift him up into a fireman's carry. Bloodshed tries to deadweight him, but Jax makes a final effort and hauls Bloodshed up, onto his shoulders, carrying him over the rope and turning to face the table! Bloodshed is struggling, but Jax has him up and just needs now to lift and to throw. Like Bloodshed before, he gets Part 1 off okay...



...but gets something spewed in his eyes!!

COLE
BLOODMIST!!





*CRRAAAASSHHH!*

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
AND THEY [i]BOTH[/i] GO CRASHING THROUGH THE TABLE!!

"O - A - O - A - S - T!"
"O - A - O - A - S - T!"
"O - A - O - A - S - T!"

The wreckage of blood, bodies and broken wood gets the fans going, as both Bloodshed and Jax are down. And neither is moving.

COLE
That was pure desperation right there. It looked like Bloodshed might have countered on the way down with a DDT, after spewing his own blood into Jax's eyes, but Bloodshed took a bad fall through the table in his own right! And we're at a stalemate here, both men are down and both are out!

COACH
And they're both on the floor. You can only get the pin in the ring tonight, so even if Bloodshed could roll on top with a cover, it won't matter.

COLE
That's right Coach. We can write both these two off for the mo... what?

COACH
I didn't say nothi...

COLE
No, Coach, I'm hearing that we've found the other four men in this match. It seems they've... they're OUTSIDE!?

COACH
How come I can't hear a director?

Sure enough, we cut to our intrepid cameraman on the New Alhambra floor, where it seems the fight has spilled out through the front door and into the Philadelphia air! Cortez and O'Hara are brawling right outside the front door, security struggling to restrain the fans as they try to get a good view of what's going on. Cortez lifts O'Hara up, looking to slam him on the concrete. But O'Hara squirms out behind and shoves Cortez forward...



*CRAASH!*

...INTO THE METAL FOLDING DOOR AT THE SIDE OF THE ARENA ENTRANCE!!

"YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"

O'Hara doesn't let up and puts the boots to Cortez as we finally find Landon and Static, a little further out in front building. The woozy Static sits slumped on one not-so-lucky fan's car parked in front of the building, as Landon strides past the front doors looking to get a run up. And a run up he gets. But he also gets a backdrop...




*THUD!*



*MEEPMEEPMEEPMEEPMEEP!*

...RIGHT ONTO THE HOOD OF THE CAR!!!!!

COLE
This is crazy, they're fighting outside the arena! It's the middle of winter and Landon Maddix is out there in nothing but a pair of shorts!

COACH
What the hell does what he's wearing matter? He just got backdropped [i]onto a CAR[/i]!!

Static now abandons Landon and the honking car he lies on, going back to find Todd Cortez fighting back on Jamie O'Hara. O'Hara gets tossed into the wall, but Static immediately pounces on The Urban Legend. Without weapons at hand, Static rains down with right hands and sends Cortez retreating towards the front doors. Fans are again quick to scatter, leaving behind a plastic trash can which Cortez hurls behind him hopefully, catching Static in the face and putting him down, for a couple of seconds at least. Unfortunately O'Hara is on him in a second though and finds a more traditional weapon, that being a steel chair...


*CRACK!*


...slamming it over Cortez's back!

"HOO - LI - GANS!"
"HOO - LI - GANS!"
"HOO - LI - GANS!"

O'HARA
YOU WOT!?

"HOO - LI - GANS!"
"HOO - LI - GANS!"
"HOO - LI - GANS!"

Away crawls Cortez and O'Hara is in hot pursuit, the two disappearing off as the camera turns to Scotty Static, being attacked from behind by the barely mobile Landon Maddix. Maddix lands a forearm to the back and promptly collapses to his knees with Static.

COLE
Everybody's really hurting now, which didn't take long, no surprise. None of these six are going to come out unscathed tonight, that's for sure.

Both Static and Maddix struggle back up and it's a quick kick from Static that makes the difference, The GPXer hollering for the fans to move out of the way as he then runs Maddix forward AND PITCHES HIM THROUGH THE DISCARDED CHAIRS!!

"YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

The only person in the ring right now, Megan Skye watches on in horror from her perch on the bottom rope.


Meanwhile, Scotty Static has done a disappearing act too. But he soon returns, dragging with him ANOTHER TABLE!!

COACH
Hey, isn't that the merchandising table!?

COLE
Well, it WAS the merchandising table.

COACH
Man, this is gonna be the most expensive match in OAOAST history. Building repair, car repair, lawsuits...

COLE
Copyright infringments.

COACH
Damn. I thought you'd forget about that.

Static sets up the table and quickly goes after Maddix, who's decided he's had enough and makes a 'run' for safety. Of course, he can't really run right now. Neither can Static though, following Maddix through the chairs and the fans and the trash they've left behind, gradually getting closer and closer to the ring. Leaving the table behind. 


Jax and Bloodshed are still down. 


And as for O'Hara and Cortez, they're...


...they're...




...UP IN THE MILLER LIGHT SKYBOX!?!?

"YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
Oh my God! Oh my God, how the hell did they get up there!?

COACH
Nevermind that, how the hell are they gonna get back down!?

"PLEASE DON'T DIE!"
"PLEASE DON'T DIE!"
"PLEASE DON'T DIE!"
"PLEASE DON'T DIE!"

If there's a way to top Ultimate Punishment and War Games, that'd be it. But hopefully it won't come to that, as Cortez can be seen pitched into yet another wall. This one happens to be the very top of the wall, who knows how many feet above the arena floor, which just adds to the fun. The fans in the Skybox are in the real trouble now, trying to keep out of the way as O'Hara takes one of their beverages and chugs it down, before tossing the remains into The Urban Legend's face!!

COLE
That might not have been smart. Todd Cortez lives a straight edge sort of lifestyle, he certainly won't appreciate a beer in his face.

O'Hara could care less, throwing a boot at Cortez before picking up a chair...


*CRACK!*

...throwing at Cortez's head and presumably knocking him down with it. The fans are all straining to get a view of what's actually happening up in the Skybox, until Jamie O'Hara appears, climbing onto the ledge of the Skybox and signalling for something flippy.

COACH
Okay, Jamie, I'd get down if I were you.

COLE
This is dangerous territory... ridiculously dangerous territory!

Shaking a little as he tries to keep his balance, O'Hara turns around and prepares to do whatever crazy flip it is he was planning on executing on Cortez. Unfortunately for him though, Todd Cortez is up. And he's waiting on The Birmingham Bad Boy, giving him no time to react as he leaps up and executes a dropkick.


COLE
LOOK OUT BELLLOOOOOWWW...








*CCRRRRAAAAAAASSSSHHHHH!!"


"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

Simply put, the fans go BANANA, as the table virtually explodes underneath O'Hara's plummeting body! O'Hara rolls away and curls up into a fetal position, as Cortez peers over the edge of the Miller Lite Skybox with a smile etched on his face.

"HOLY SHIT!"
"HOLY SHIT!"
"HOLY SHIT!"
"HOLY SHIT!"
"HOLY SHIT!"

COLE
Correction... THAT is the damndest thing I've EVER seen on an OAOAST show!!

Back to the ring we go meanwhile, what with O'Hara likely showing no signs of life for the next three months after that insane plunge and all, as Landon Maddix has found his way back to ringside. Scotty Static is still chasing after him and Landon rolls into the ring, begging off from The GPXer as he slides in after him... and drops an elbow into the back of the head!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Frantic, Landon clubs away with repeated forearms on Static's upper back and neck to keep him down. Landon then scrambles away and grabs Bloodshed's holdall, seeing fit to commander his partner's possessions as he grabs a lighttube... and looks momentarily lost.

COACH
It's not a lightsaber, moron!

COLE
Maddix looks a little out of his element here.

Megan screams at Maddix to hurry up and use it and that shakes Maddix back into life, raising the glass tube over his head and approaching on Static... who jabs him in the gut! And again! And a third time! Maddix drops the lighttube and Static snatches it, wielding the glass weapon like a baseball bat as he swings for Landon's head...



...DUCKED! Maddix backs off and goes back to begging off, making quick with the apologies as Static swings again...



...DUCKED! Now Landon's getting desperate and he starts praying, looking to appeal to Static's better nature not to try again. But try again he does, lifting the lighttube over his head and swinging down...




*SSMMAASSHH!!*



...COMPLETE SHOT!! LANDON HITS THE COMPLETE SHOT!! AND STATIC GOES FACE-FIRST INTO HIS OWN LIGHTTUBE!!

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
Desperation counter! And Static just faceplanted right through the glass!

Landon rolls into a seated position and, horrified, looks at his right arm which has been lacerated by the breaking glass. He's told to get on with it by an unsympathetic Todd Cortez though, having made his way down from the Skybox and reaching the barricade, watching on as Maddix rolls Static over and makes the cover...


1...






2...








3


-NO!!!!

"YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
You're KIDDING!

Maddix resumes whining about his arm as Cortez rolls in with a steel chair in hand and takes over for the team, pulling Scotty up and revealing the blood now spouting from his forehead! Bloodshed is up on the apron now as well and it's three to one on the 'conscious' scoreboard.

"HOO - LI - GANS!"
"HOO - LI - GANS!"
"HOO - LI - GANS!"
"HOO - LI - GANS!"

Grabbing hold of the throat, Cortez says it's OVAH~! as he grips the waistband of Scotty's pants, looking to take him up and down with the Urban Assault. In a last, all or nothing effort, Static clocks him with an elbow to the temple, followed up with a second, managing to fight Cortez off...



*SMACK!*

"YYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

...and BLASTING Maddix with a Superkick as he runs in!!

COLE
It's three on one, but Scotty Static is trying to fight the odds regardless!

COACH
If I didn't know Scotty I'd say it were unbelievable, but I'm believin' it!

Bloodshed is next on the chopping block, knocked off the apron by Static and sent crashing to ringside, with a thud on the unforgiving floor of the New Alhambra. That just leaves one, Static turning around...



...and getting taken up and down with the URBAN ASSAULT!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COACH
Aw no! Not like this!

COLE
Static just had one too many to fight off!

Cortez places a hand on the chest, making a makeshift pin which is all but academic now...


1...








2...











NOO! JAX MAKES THE SAVE!!

"YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COACH
ALRIGHT! We're still in business baby!

COLE
Johnny Jax from nowhere, back into the land of the living at the most crucial time imaginable!!

Still wearing the blood of Bloodshed across his face, Jax stumbles away as he tries to stay on his feet. Cortez scrambles up and meets him with a boot to the gut, before executing an irish whip. Just getting to his feet, Maddix finds himself back off them moments later as Jax dives with a Spear, wiping him out! Jax then turns back around, where Cortez is waiting on him, dropping him with a sudden Inverted Atomic Drop.

COLE
Patented Todd Cortez.

A quick forearm knocks Scotty Static out through the ropes and onto the apron as Cortez now calls for the end, waiting on Jax to climb back up and into Riot Act Plus position...



...before realising what position Scotty Static is in and smiling wryly to himself.

COACH
Oh...oh no, he's going for the Riot Act Plus on the apron! I can feel it!

And Coach is right, as Cortez exits to the apron and begins to pull Static up.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COLE
NO! He's going to try and put Scotty Static on the shelf like he did to Leon Rodez and probably did to Jamie O'Hara earlier!

COACH
Somebody needs to stop this!

Cortez places Static in a standing headscissors on the apron and gives the signal for the Riot Act Plus! The crowd are booing and no doubt, somewhere, Zack Malibu is stewing watching all this. And stewing, knowing he can't do anything about it, as Cortez wraps his arms around Static's waist and crouches down...



...springing off the apron...




...just as Johnny Jax a Dropkick to the shoulder!!

"YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Cortez goes flying off the apron and soars into the ring barricade, wiping him out. Static is taken out in the process due to the headscissors he was in, spun off the apron and onto the arena floor with a thud, but thankfully not so violently as he would have been had Cortez hit his Riot Act Plus.

COLE
Thank God! Johnny Jax just saved his partner from a trip to the hospital with that one!

COACH
Yeah, he might have taken Scotty out, but in the longterm he might have just saved his career right there.

COLE
And we are down to two at the moment!


Make that three, as MEGAN SKYE has slid into the ring and grabs the steel chair lying near the ropes, cautiously approaching Triple J with the chair wielded.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Megan creeps up on Jax...



...but she doesn't reckon on Jax's sixth sense kicking in, The GPXer turning around and catching Megan in the act, causing her to freeze up just short of smashing him with the chair!

"YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
Uh-oh! Megan Skye is in a WORLD of trouble now!

COACH
Johnny won't hesitate in hitting her neither! She provoked him!

That looks to be true, as Jax balls up his fist and closes in on Ms. Skye. Even with a chair in hand and Jax far from 100%, Megan doesn't trust herself to go it alone with the former World Tag Team Champion. And, with a shriek, she tosses the chair at Jax and turns tail! Jax takes a swing with the chair but Megan is long gone, frustrating Jax who's left with an unused chair...



...which he really should have gotten rid of...






*CRACK!*


"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COLE
VAN DAMINATOR!?

COACH
You mean [i]Lan[/i] Daminator?

COLE
[i]LAN[/i] DAMINATOR!?

Jax lies motionless as Maddix brushes the chair out of the way, dropping on top of Jax with a cover that could only be described as desperate...


1...




COACH
C'mon, kick Johnny, kick!






2...










3!!!!!!

COACH
DAMNIT!

*DINGDINGDING!*

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

The crowd deflate as the three is counted, Megan still looking a little traumatised but managing some sort of a celebration. Landon doesn't have time for that though, exiting the ring and scrambling for the exits with his job done for the night.

BUFFER
Your winners of the match... the team of BLOODSHED, TODD CORTEZ and LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MMMMAAAAADDIIIIIXXXXX!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Landon doesn't hang around for his partners and makes it halfway down the aisle before the ego kicks in and he feels compelled to throw his hands up in victory, Megan hugging her man and Landon seeming oblivious to the fact she's still shaking in fear.

COLE
It looks like a car wreck out here. There's bodies lying all over this arena, blood, broken tables, we've got medical staff attending to Jamie O'Hara after going off that Skybox... what a crazy, crazy match! These six men yet once more put their bodies on the line in this personal war. And in the end, Landon Maddix by... some sort of luck or fortune gets the fall and is just about able to walk out of here on his own power!

COACH
Somewhere, Bruce Blank's gonna be smiling, that's all I know. I don't know if this makes up for War Games, but it probably comes close.

COLE
Well one thing is for sure... even after all this, we haven't heard the last of this gang war. Landon Maddix may have won The Wildcards the battle, but the war, I'm sure, is going to continue. From Johnathon Coachman, Michael Cole saying thank you for tuning in and we will see you next week, same time, same channel, same HeldDOWN~! action! Goodnight!


FADE TO BLACK