HD: Landon interview

[King Cucaracha 0]

MATTHEWS
Ladies and gentlemen, joining me at this time... Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Walking into shot with a beaming smile and only the slightest hint of a limp in his step, Landon hangs his arm over Josh's shoulder as if they were best buddies from way back. Of course, they're nothing of the sort, but Josh isn't going to do anything about it. I mean, it's not like he's a wrestler. Megan Skye joins her man as Josh composes himself.

MATTHEWS
Last week Landon, you were involved in one of th...

MADDIX
Ahbahbah...

MATTHEWS
...last week, you [i]won[/i] one of the craziest matches in HeldDOWN~! history, the Philadelphia Street Fight, along with Todd Cortez and Bloodshed. Now, you and your three opponents The Hooligans were offered the night off tonight, but you apparantly have a big announcement to make.

MADDIX
That's right Josh. By the way, good save. See, you're right about last week being one of the craziest matches in HeldDOWN~! history. Granted, I've never actually watched the show outside of scouting purposes and when I know I'm going to be on, but my point remains. There were guys flying off of balconies, guys going through tables, guys jamming staples into each other's flesh... it was straight nuts out there. But in amongst the chaos and the catastrophe, who's hand was raised in victory? Landon Maddix, ¡claro! See, I'm sure Bloodshed could have gone on all day mutilating Johnny, Scotty and Jamie, The Street Spirit Squad. And Cortez would have done his flippy-do-dad on the apron spot given half the chance. But when you need someone to get the job done, you rely on Landon Maddix... with just a smidgen of help from his trusty manageress.

Megan smiles and pecks Landon on the cheek.

MADDIX
They always fall into the trap. It's seamless. One kick and now Mr. Jackson isn't so much Johnny as Michael, at least in the looks department. One kick. POW! And it was lights out.

Taking the arm off from the shoulder, Landon runs a hand through the blond locks.

MADDIX
Ever since War Games, everywhere I go, I get nothing but mocking. People 'crying' and 'bawling' and 'tapping out' in my general direction. In public. We're delving into a shallow gene pool here Josh. I've been given nothing but disrespect. And I'm sick of it! Nevermind that I'm a two-time World Champion. Nevermind my reign as OAOAST 24/7 Champion. Nevermind that I am the SAVIOUR of the OAOAST!

Landon throws his arms to the side on the word saviour, just incase you didn't get it.

MADDIX
Nevermind that I had a... metal spike... jammed into my nether regions at Syndicated. I was violated Josh, VIOLATED! Any man in my position would have done the very same thing I did, which was save my scrotum from uneccessary surgery by quitting against my better nature and living to fight another day. Those are grounds for mockery? Well, last week, I scored not one but two victories over The GPX. They're former Tag Team Champions, right? Pretty well respected? On Monday at November Reign I put down Scotty Static and last Thursday, Johnny Jax, 1, 2, 3. Well who's the object of ridicule now? Not me. Not I. Which brings me to the big announcement. To further prove I'm not a joke. It's about time yours truly started concentrating on my career, rather than the constant dealings with Malibu and his merry band of men. There's only so many times I can beat the GPXs of this world before I have to move onto bigger and better things. And with that said, it's my pleasure... to announce myself as the FIRST competitor officially entering himself into the 2007 Royal Rumble!

Cue the cheesy grin from Landon as he basks in the glow of his announcement with Megan.

MATTHEWS
Landon... you realise that AnglePalooza is still nearly two months away, right?

MADDIX
(sighs) [i]Yes[/i], I realise that.

MATTHEWS
Just checking.

MADDIX
AnglePalooza might be two months or so away, but I'm already looking onward and forward. The Royal Rumble. 29 of the OAOAST's supposed best superstars and Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix. And one by one, those 29 second rate wrestlers are going to go soaring over that top rope, by my hands or otherwise, until only I'm left standing.

MATTHEWS
What makes you so confident of victory Landon... besides the obvious. I mean, we don't even know who's going to be in the field of 30 yet, let alone the random drawing.

MADDIX
Look, it's a simple matter of motivation. See, I'm entering the Royal Rumble for one reason... History! See, when I outlast those 29 wannabees, I will have created history. I will have achieved something no other man has done in this business. That being, becoming the first man EVER to have both the SWF Clusterfuck and the OAOAST Royal Rumble on their resumé... thus saving these people from yet another mediocre AngleMania main-event in the process. And then at AngleMania, I will become the first EVER man to win both the SWF and OAOAST World Heavyweight Championships and my name will go down in the annals of time! Landon Maddix- Leyenda de Lucha Libre!

Still caught up in his fantasy world, Maddix wanders off aimlessly as we go back to the arena.