King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted December 7, 2006 COLE We are back in Canada, again, for HeldDOWN~! Coach and it's... just as cold as last time. COACH Montreal, the only place in the world where even you stand a chance of being screwed. Well, half chance. COLE Let's not go there. Coming up in due course we've got six-man tag team action as three fourths of The Enterprise, The Beverly Hills Blonds and Christian Wright take on a trio of their recent irritants. Los Diablos De Fuego have been and continue to be a thorn in the sides of Ned Blanchard and Simon Singleton, while their partner tonight The Dance Dance Dragon holds a victory over The Financial Analyst, CW. Although Christian did get the win back a few weeks ago, that defeat still wrangles with Christian I'm sure. He'll get a chance to put Dragon out of his mind for good tonight though. COACH No doubt. It's already in the bag, the money bag if you will. The Enterprise were so impressive at November Reign, tonight's gonna be no different. COLE Well, it IS, because it's 3 on 3 rather than 4 on 4. But I see your, albeit bias, point. COACH I just hope the referee's clued up on Los Diablos this time around. Another one of those illegal switches like we saw at November Reign would be a travesty, those sort of underhanded business tactics are frowned upon highly by respected entrepeneurs like Theodore Moneymaker. Christian told me himself. COLE Ah. I wondered where you got all those big words from. "You break the laws You hustle, you deal, you steal from us all Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Money talks" To the tune of their leader's band The Enterprise enter, "Money Talks" playing through the arena as The Beverly Hills Blonds lead the way. They're joined by Christian Wright in his unbelievably expensive polyester business jacket, carrying with him the trusty briefcase (which surprisingly shows no dents, despite it's recent meetings with certain individuals craniums). And bringing up the rear, Mackenzie DeCenzo, arm in arm with the most money making man in the OAOAST, Theodore Moneymaker, fanning himself with a wad of cash! BUFFER The following six-man tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Currently on the way to the ring, accompanied to the ring by MACKENZIE DECENZO and the CEO of The Enterprise, THEODORE MONEYMAKER! At a total combined weight of six hundred, eighty five pounds... the team of NED BLANCHARD and SIMON SINGLETON, THE BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS, and, "THE NATURAL" CHRISTIAN WRIGHT... together, they represent TTHHEEE EEEENNTTEEEEERRRRRPPRRRRIIIIIISSSSEEEEEEEE!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The Enterprise trio, plus their two 'seconds', make their way to the ring. Already set up in their corner is Mackenzie's director's chair which Teddy gladly leads her to, before demanding that one of the stagehands responsible for Mackie's seat sets out a steel chair for him. Hopeful of a payday, the stagehand sets up a chair quickly for The Billion Dollar Heir, only to be shooed away once his job is done. COLE There's no no lack of class with Theodore Moneymaker. COACH I agree! ...wait, did you say no twice? COLE You'll work it out eventually. Ned, Simon and Christian discuss strategy in the ring as the brains behind the operation relax at ringside. In the meantime "Hung Up" starts playing, as the lights in the building dim down. The Montreal crowd are treated to an impromptu laser show, lighting up the entire rampway, as well as twelve Japanese dancing girls! Even better! However, Los Diablos De Fuego seem distinctly uninterested with the scantily clad ladies and dance their scantily clad male selves right in front of them to "Hung Up", which combining those gay icons Madonna and the sample of ABBA makes for the perfect Los Diablos dance song! Dance Dance Dragon makes use of the holographic DDR stage in the background before the three masked men dance their way on down the aisle. BUFFER And their opponents! At a total combined weight of five hundred, thirty nine pounds... the team of THE DANCE DANCE DRAGON and MARIACHI, MORACCA... LOS DDIIIIIIAAAAAABBLLLOOOOSSS DDEEEEEEE FFFUUUUUEEEEEGGOOOOOO!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE And this Montreal crowd are LOVING these three fun-loving characters! COACH They're half French, of course they do. From the ring The Enterprise watch on in disgust at the antics of their opponents. Dragon tumbles into the ring, actually looking the more restrained of the team just for a change as Los Diablos bump and grind with the ringpost. Moneymaker looks physically ill. COACH Poor Teddy. COLE Perhaps he's still feeling the effects of that liplock Moracca laid on him at November Reign? Not for the first time, I might add. It seems like maybe Los Diablos have a bit of a 'thing' for Theodore. COACH They have a 'thing' for every male on the planet. And each other. Finally the music stops and some semblance of order is restored. Dance Dance Dragon is in the ring already and seems happy to start things off while The Enterprise hang in the corner, talking everything over with the 'boss'. Eventually it's decided that Simon Singleton is going to start for the team and some very business-like handshakes are exchanged... ...before Simon does a sudden 180 and charges... ...right into an armdrag by Dragon! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE And that's not the start The Enterprise were hoping for! *DINGDINGDING!* Simon scrambles back to his feet as the bell sounds to officially start the match and takes a second armdrag! Back up and a third armdrag is waiting, Simon looking completely lost as he now walks right into a [i]Japanese[/i] armdrag! Dragon rolls through on the move and clamps on an armbar as the rest of The Enterprise watch on wondering what the hell is happening to their colleague. Wondering the same thing is Simon as he reaches up for a handful of mask and is rejected. COLE Far from auspicious start here, Simon maybe a little too eager to get the jump on The Dragon. COACH He's a very busy man. COLE Oh, what does he actually go within The Enterprise, Coach? COACH ... Climbing back to his feet, Simon escapes the armbar with a quick knee before slamming a forearm down into the back of the neck. And another. Simon then sets up an irish whip, shooting Dragon into the ropes and dropping down. Up and over goes Dragon but he immediately puts the brakes on behind the unsuspecting Singleton, The Video Voyeur climbing back up... ...and into another armdrag! COACH Teddy needs to adjourn! Adjourn! The momentum takes the stumbling Simon back into a neutral corner and DDD follows in, leaping up and attempting a monkey flip. Simon is having none of that though and a quick shove sends Dragon off empty handed. Pointing to the temple = smarts. But following it up by walking right into your opponent's feet is not so smart however, Dragon getting the boots up and flipping Simon overhead with an improvised monkey flip, with a hard landing in the middle of the ring for Singleton! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE Ooh! Right on the base of the spine and Simon is in trouble! COACH Like you wouldn't believe... Simon rolls to his knees and rubs his behind, which is enough for both Diablos to beg for the tag! Dragon spots it and tags the closest Diablo, that being Moracca who hurries into the ring. Seeing the pink Mexican coming Simon notices the rubbing motions he's making and more importantly on what part of his anatomy he's making them and wisely high-tails it, rolling out of the ring as the sexually charged Moracca gives chase! Even licking his lips as Simon weaves around the ringpost and, approaching the opponent's corner (and Mariachi), weaves back into the ring. Moracca follows close behind... but it met with a kneedrop right to the back of the head from Simon! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Seeing his chance, Simon quickly tags in Christian Wright, The Natural rushing in and putting the boots to Moracca. Positioning the prone Mexican with his feet, Wright then climbs up onto the bottom ring rope, pinning it down across the throat of Moracca who kicks his feet in agony! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOU..." Wright breaks on four but only to drag Moracca away from the ropes, putting the boots to him some more in the centre of the ring. COACH There we go, business as usual! "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" Ignoring the chants, Wright hauls Moracca back to his feet and clubs him underneath the chin with a European Uppercut that he barely stays on his feet from. Theodore applauds the increase in intensity as again the European Uppercut finds the mark and Moracca collapses into the ropes. Irish whip follows, Wright knocking Moracca down with a back elbow... 1... Quick kickout, prompting Christian to make the tag to Ned Blanchard. COACH And now I do believe it's payback time. COLE No love lost with Ned Blanchard and Los Diablos, that's for sure. Possibly some lust on Diablos part, but certainly no love. In comes Ned, driving the point of the elbow suspiciously close to the throat of Moracca who sits up coughing and spluttering. Ned locks him in a rear chinlock to further restrict his breathing as Dragon and Mariachi watch on emotionless. They're wearing masks, see... ...oh, nevermind. "MO - RA - CCA!" "MO - RA - CCA!" "MO - RA - CCA!" "MO - RA - CCA!" The Montreal fans rally behind Moracca and he humps thin air as he soaks up the encouragement. Ned doesn't seem to worried though and once he senses some trouble he releases the chinlock, elbowing Moracca across the top of the spine to quell any fire. An exchange is made by The Beverly Hills Blonds, Ned to Simon who's regained his bearings and is ready to go again. The Blonds perform a double whip and land stereo back elbows, Ned exiting the ring before the referee's five count and leaving Simon to make the fall... 1... 2... Kickout. Simon brings Moracca to his feet. Forearms soften Moracca up before the tag is again made by the tag team specialists, The Beverly Hills Blonds. This time the whip is solo and sets up a drop toehold by Singleton, while Blanchard hits the near ropes and drops the point of the elbow down across the back of the head. In keeping with his usual arrogance, Ned takes a moment to taunt Mariachi before he follows up with the cover... 1... 2... Kickout again. COLE It seems The Enterprise have gained control here after their false start of sorts. And there's few better at tag team wrestling in the OAOAST, whether it be 2 on 2, 3 on 3, 4 on 4, whatever, than The Beverly Hills Blonds. Only former OAOAST and HI-YAH Tag Team Champions in history. COACH There's nobody better in my mind. With a series of big right hands Ned beats Moracca down, enjoying every minute of it after the weeks of humiliation they've inflicted on he and his Enterprise colleagues. Ned then backs away with a beaming smile on his face, measuring Moracca as he struggles back to his feet. From the outside Moracca's teammates try to warn him of what's waiting on him but it makes no difference, as he still finds himself hooked to the canvas with a big clothesline. Sitting Moracca right back up, Blanchard drops an elbow across the top of the head and then positions himself on Moracca's shoulders. Reaching over top, Ned then pulls Moracca's right leg up and hooks it, applying the seldom seen Stump Puller on the Mexican luchador! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!" It seems like Ned is trying to forcefeed Moracca his own bright white boot as he pulls up on the leg. Curiously, Mariachi seems very interested in what's going on, almost as if he's taking notes for future reference. Probably best not to dwell on that. COACH Oh yeah, make him suffer Ned! COLE A torturous hold being applied by The Handsome Hustler. Working over the neck and the back, not to mention the stress this is putting on the quadracep and the calf muscle. COACH And the groin. The worst thing, at least in Moracca's mind, I'm sure. "MO - RA - CCA!" "MO - RA - CCA!" "MO - RA - CCA!" "MO - RA - CCA!" Moracca clenches his fists and tries to fight the pain as referee Charles Robinson checks for a submission. Any reprieve from The Handsome Hustler seems out of the question so Moracca has to try and escape the hold. Shaking and squirming, the Mexican fights and fights... and eventually Ned loses the leg! Ned tries to reach for it again but Moracca kicks his hands away at each attempt before looking to turn the hold over. A punch to the head stops him. But only momentarily, as Moracca eventually turns over onto his knees and pulls out Ned's feet from under him, causing him to faceplant into the canvas!! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Moracca escapes! And now he has to try and make the tag! After checking his nose is still in place Ned shakes away the cobwebs and looks to cut Moracca off, as the luchador dives for his corner... ...catching him around the waist and dropping him with an Inverted Atomic Drop! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE That'll cut somebody off in a hurry. COACH Like the saying goes, 'hit them where it hurts'! Haha! Moracca goes rigid and collapses in the centre of the ring, giving Ned chance to follow the advice coming from the outside, making the tag to Christian Wright. The Natural steps in and his first move is to go after Mariachi and Dance Dance Dragon in the corner, drawing them into the ring and allowing him to drag Moracca over into The Enterprise's corner where EVERYBODY gets in on the act, Ned and Simon joining in on the stomps as Moneymaker laughs uproariously on the arena floor. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Three on one in the corner, turn around referee! COACH Moracca's partners are doing him no favours. Teddy couldn't have got a better distraction if he paid for it himself, which he easily could have by the way! Eventually the referee gets Dragon and Mariachi to retreat back to their corners and The Blonds make themselves scarse too, leaving Christian to innocently kick away at Moracca's lifeless body. Moracca is hurting and really needs the tag. A task made harder by Christian Wright standing on the back of his neck. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THR..." A break and a look of innocence from Christian, unsure of what he did wrong. Wink wink. His discussion with the referee distracts him from Ned Blanchard's involvement on the apron, dragging Moracca's throat across the ring apron and dropping an elbow across the neck! Referee Robinson wonders why Ned is on the floor but gets no clues from the innocent Handsome Hustler. Predictably enough Mariachi and Dragon try to help but do more harm than good as now Theodore Moneymaker climbs from his chair AND PUTS A FRONT FACELOCK ON, CHOKING MORACCA ON THE RING APRON!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Oh, come ON! Now Theodore Moneymaker is getting involved and the referee is none the wiser! More shady tactics from The Enterprise... I don't know how you can complain about illegal switches and what have you when The Enterprise consistantly and blatantly flout the rules each and every time we see them. COACH This is nothing compared to that injustice and you know it! "TE - DDY SUCKS!" "TE - DDY SUCKS!" "TE - DDY SUCKS!" "TE - DDY SUCKS!" As the referee gains some control once more, The Billion Dollar Heir goes back to his seat and kicks his legs up, resuming a conversation with Mackenzie as if nothing happened. Meanwhile, CW pulls Moracca out from the ropes and to his feet, lining him up... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and landing a HARD knifedge chop across the pink leather covered chest of Moracca! COACH Ow-eee! Dropping like a stone, Moracca looks easy pickings now as Wright and Moneymaker share a "money fingers" signal. Wright lifts the lagging luchador up and off his feet, up into a fireman's carry with ease. Turning into the centre of the ring Christian then rushes forwards looking for the Bank Roll... ...but Moracca slips free and lands safely on his feet! On go the brakes but not quick enough to prevent Moracca dropping and scrambling, crawling through CW's legs to make it to the corner... ...AND TAG!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Everybody Dance Now! COACH Oh no! In comes The Dance Dance Dragon and he is a house of dancin' fire! A clothesline puts Wright down, Ned coming in and eating a forearm to take him out of the equation. Simon comes in late and Dragon is ready for him, popping up with a front dropkick that lands in the chest and sends The Video Voyeur tumbling out of the ring! Dragon wheels around just in time to catch Wright coming, blocking a boot to the gut and sweeping CW over with a Dragon ScreWii "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" COLE The Dragon Screw from the Dragon! It's so ironic I think my head may just explode! Ned is next to attack... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and gets lit up with a knifedge chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and another! COLE The Strong Style Party Animal living up to his name with those vicious strikes and suddenly Moneymaker doesn't seem quite so confident on the floor! Not one to take a beating lying down, Ned tries to cut Dragon off in his prime. A clothesline is ducked though and Ned goes running off into the ropes, unfortunately just as Simon is using those ropes to climb back to the ring apron, thus bumping his partner off to the arena floor again! Not to worry though as Ned soon follows him, getting clotheslined over the top by Triple D and ending up in a Beverly Hills bundle on the outside! Moneymaker has seen enough and can't sit back any longer, jogging over to help his men back to their feet, unaware of Dance Dance Dragon hurtling towards him... ...FLIPPING OVER THE TOP AND WIPING ALL THREE OUT WITH A SOMERSAULT PLANCHAAAAA~!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COACH That's not fair! Theodore Moneymaker isn't in this match, he's an innocent bystander! COLE He's an innocent by-flat-on-his-asser now! "D - D - D!" "D - D - D!" "D - D - D!" "D - D - D!" Back in the ring, Wright is distracted at his three Enterprise cohorts lie in a heap on the floor. That allows Mariachi to sneak into the action, waiting for The Natural to turn around before springboarding up onto the top rope and soaring in. Wright sees him coming but doesn't have enough time to react as Mariachi cuts him down with a Seated Senton, Wright getting a faceful of crotch as Mariachi tries to hold him down... 1... 2... NO! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Mariachi is fresh and makes full use of his extra energy, beating CW to his feet and rushing into the ropes. A swing and a miss follows from Wright, Mariachi hitting the opposite side, building up some speed... ...and running into a SNAP Powerslam!! 1... 2... SAVE BY MORACCA!! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Backing away, Moracca lures in the angry Financial Analyst before, as he finds himself backed in a corner, BLOWING HIM A KISS! Wright understandably freaks out and backs up himself, finding himself caught from behind in a rear waistlock by Mariachi. Before CW can get away, Moracca then rushes in and applies a simultaneous front waistlock, Los Diablos sandwiching CW in between them and hoisting him off the canvas, shaking him around and putting on the pressure. And this time Mackenzie looks physically ill. "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Oh dear God. COLE THE HOMIES HUG! HOMIES HUG! They're not homos, they're homies! :D COACH This is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen! Somebody get in and stop this before we get taken off the air!! Wright looks completely horrified and doesn't even think about an escape as he sees what this must look like to the average onlooker. Mackenzie watches on covering her mouth, literally looking physically sick, as even Charles Robinson seems a little creeped out by this offensive (in more ways than one) manoeuvre! COACH ENOUGH! ENOUGH! DEAR LORD ENOUGH! Thankfully for the name of good taste, Los Diablos release Wright from the unwelcomed threeway physicality and skip about merrily at the experience. Standing in the centre of the ring, Wright alternates between gasping for breath and looking violated, shaking in shock and rage before finally Los Diablos turn and The Natural charges them. A double clothesline is ducked though as Los Diablos meet him with two knees to the gut and hook the head... [COLOR=pink]*SMOOCH!* *SMOOCH!*[/COLOR] ...kissing Wright on either cheek... *WHAM!* ...AND PLANTING HIM FACE-FIRST WITH THE KISS OF DEATH!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Kiss Of Death! And there's no-one to come to the rescue! Both Diablos want the glory, or the body on body contact, but after a brief squabble they both dive on top and hump their way through the count... 1... 2... 3!!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE AND THAT'S IT!! The fans go wild and so do Los Diablos, literally leaping for joy as the three is scored. Mackenzie quite simply can't believe it and neither can Teddy, Ned or Simon as they look on from their heap on the floor. Dragon quickly calls Los Diablos out and the trio celebrate as Moneymaker rushes into the ring and DEMANDS to know how this could have happened. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... the team of THE DANCE DANCE DRAGON and LOS DIABLOS DE FFFFFFUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEGGOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" "IT'S RAININ' MEN! Hallejulah IT'S RAININ' MEN! Amen" COACH That's the most disgusting thing I've seen in my life! COLE Disgusting or not, Los Diablos scored the fall, they won the match, The Enterprise lose to Los Diablos and Dance Dance Dragon! And Theodore Moneymaker is BESIDE HIMSELF!! COACH That fall never should have counted! The match should have been thrown out on the grounds of good taste long ago! And since when has two men pinning one been legal!? This is disgusting in so many ways! Los Diablos and DDD celebrate their way up the ramp, the victorious luchadors getting up close and personal with their dancing partner as in the ring Moneymaker is throwing a fit! Referee Charles Robinson gets out while he still can as Moneymaker continues to rage, even despite Mackenzie DeCenzo entering the ring to try and calm him down. On the outside, The Beverly Hills Blonds are lost for words. COLE Los Diablos have got one over on The Enterprise again. And the honeymoon may be over for Theodore Moneymaker, he's got some business evaluation to do after this result! COACH Can I get a bucket or something? I feel sick. COLE It'll pass. Here, have a chili dog. COACH A... ohgodI'mgonnapuke... *COMMERCIALS!* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
