HD: Enterprise promo

[Tony149 0]

COLE
With some Hot Newz~! you need to know, here's Tony Schiavone. 

Backstage, the former voice of WCW and now Syndicated host stands humbly in front of our modest interview set -- a simplistic "OAOAST" banner.

SCHIAVONE
Coming up New Year's night, January 1st, the OAOAST presents the 2nd annual New Year's Spectauclar live right here on TSM. Being the fan-friendly promotion the OAOAST is, we're putting the card in your hands. Yes, you, the wrestling fan, will have the power to pick the stipulation or wrestler you want to see! Go to OAOAST.com for more information on that big card New Year's night. 

In addition to the great live action you'll be seeing, Jesse "The Body" Ventura and myself will be on hand to unviel 2007 Anderson Cup brackets. The past two winners, the GPX and Heavenly Rockers, have gone on to capture the tag team championship at AngleMania IV and V respectively. Hoping to continue the trend are the Beverly Hills Blonds and the team of Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright, all members of the Enterprise entered in next year's Anderson Cup. But it's the New Year's Spectauclar I want to talk to them about, specifically the match between the Beverly Hills Blonds and Los Diablos de Fuego. 

In walk the Enterprise. Simon comforting a noticeably upset Ned Blanchard, who is grimacing in pain and shaking his head in disappointment.

SIMON
Tony, it's with great sadness that I must inform you and all our "great fans" the Beverly Hills Blonds won't be able to perform New Year's night because of a server groin injury Ned suffered last week in the 6-man tag. I know there's gonna be some skepticism concerning the injury but I assure you and everyone watching it's legit. Our man Theodore had the [u]finest doctors money can buy[/u] examined Ned, all of whom said it would be in his best interest to back out of the match to avoid further injury. So it's not like we're trying to get the night off to celebrate the New Year in Beverly Hills or anything. It's a legit medical injury. Ned did everything in his power to try and be ready for the New Year's Spectauclar, even going as far as to suggest castration to relive the pain. 

NED
I'm no doctor, so I didn't know that would only add to the problem, not fix it. 

SCHIAVONE
Now hold on just a minute. This would be the second time you've backed out of a scheduled match against Los Diablos de Fuego. There's more than meets the eye here. It wouldn't have anything to do with last week, would it?

THEODORE
Last week is last week, little man. A fluke pin by a fluke tag team. Instead of questioning the Enterprise, why don't you go question those known cheaters Los Diablos de Fuego? First it was November Reign, then last week. They can't be anybody straight up, they gotta resort to illegal switching or double-teaming to beat anyone. Take last week for example. 

SCHIAVONE
I thought last week was last week. 

THEODORE
Schiavone, you're one phone call away from never being seen again. And I don't mean just on television, if you catch my drift. The proof is in the pudding. It took an illegal double-team to keep Christian Wright down for the 1-2-3. Nevermind the fact he got his shoulder up before the final count was made. Had the referee been doing his job it wouldn't have come down to a missed call. 

SCHIAVONE
I don't recall it happening like that. 

WRIGHT
You're paid to hold a microphone to a person's face not spew your views. 

THEODORE
Hahahahaha! You tell him CW. Just like I'm going to tell Los Diablos de Fuego right now...you will have someone to wrestle at the New Year's Spectauclar. A team that holds victory after victory over you. A team that has left you bloody, battered and beaten. They've spent the last few weeks training vigorously in the jungles of Latin America for their big chance at fame and a half a million dollar reward once they beat you New Year's night. I present to you...Los Conquistadors! BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Uno and Dos appear carrying a green money bag. Following handshakes with the Enterprise, they start digging into the bag.

SCHIAVONE
Half a million dollar reward? You've placed a bountry on the heads of Los Diablos de Fuego!

THEODORE
Money is meant to be spent, little man. And it will be money well spent come New Year's night. The question now becomes, how will those peasents go down in defeat. Will it be a Mexican Deathmatch? What about a barbed wire coal miner's glove match? 

Uno pulls the glove out of the bag and puts it on for all to see.

THEODORE
Huh? Remember that Diablos? Didn't feel too good, didn't it? I know what something else that couldn't have felt to good. Seeing your stupid mascot torn to shreds. All the king's horses and all the king's men might not have been able to put Humpty Dumpty back together again, but the Billon Dollar Heir's fame and fortune could stitch El Ovéja together again. MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

Dos pulls the shreded remains of El Ovéja out of the bag. Los Diablos former mascot reduced to a flat piece of "skin" taped together. 

SCHIAVONE
Uh! That does it from here. Back to you.