King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted December 19, 2006 Psych~! As we return to HeldDOWN~!, the familiar sound of "Magnus Opus: Father Padilla Meets the Perfect Gnat/Howling at the Moon" is mixed with the boos of the American crowd, as on the way to the ring strolls a bitter looking Alfdogg. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following non-title contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, representing Team Canada... weighing in at two hundred, fourty pounds... AAAAALLLLLLFFFFDDOOOOOOOOOOOOGG!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Alright. This match was scheduled to be a prelude to Mainframe Monday, where it will be 24/7 Champion versus X Division Champion versus Heartland Champion, or as it was set to be, Canadian Champion. However, you're now looking at the [i]former[/i] Canadian Champion, meaning Alfdogg is now out of the New Year's Spectacular. But, this'll be an interesting match nonetheless. Back on our last edition of Syndicated, Bohemoth scored a pinfall victory over the former World Champion... COACH In a tag team match. COLE ...in a tag team match, yes. But a win all the same. Imagine what a victory here in one on one action would do for The Meterosexual Monster. COACH He's got nothing to lose tonight. Mostly because, for some reason, Bohemoth's title isn't on the line. COLE Well, there's a little matter of the Mainframe Monday vote Coach, which has already started. We can't have titles flying about now that people are voting in numbers for which Champion has to defend their title. In the ring now, Alfdogg motions for Michael Buffer to hand him the microphone. The crowd start booing, ready and waiting for a patented Alfdogg cheapshot at the expence of the local sports franchise or franchises. But this week Alfdogg apparantly has other ideas. With a quick glance over his shoulder, Alfdogg wheels around AND WIPES OUT REFEREE CHARLES ROBINSON WITH THE MICROPHONE!! COLE WHAT THE HELL!? "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Robinson hits the mat hard and ends up face down on the canvas. With no hint of a smile, Alf then hands the microphone back to a stunned Michael Buffer and motions for the sound truck to 'play the music'. *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BUFFER And his opponent... from Greenville, South Carolina! He weighs in at two hundred and eighty four pounds... the reigning and defending OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPION... "THE METEROSEXUAL MONSTER"... BBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHHEEEEEEEEEMMMOOOOOOOOTTHHHHHH!!!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Well, here comes Bohemoth but... what the hell is Alf playing at? COACH I've got no idea. The sliding doors part and Bohemoth strides out with his usual coolness, the 24/7 Championship draped over his shoulder as he enters. However, as he looks up at the ring he comes to a stop, confused as to why there's a referee laid out at Alfdogg's feet... ...distracting him as TEAM CANADA ATTACK!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Wha... DAMNIT! IT'S A SETUP! The crowd lay into "After Hours" Felix Strutter and Ken Pantera as they batter Bohemoth from his blindside, Pantera clubbing away with forearms as Strutter tries to keep up with some kicks. Bohemoth is caught completely unawares and Team Canada continue to beat him down the rampway. Eventually Bohemoth manages to turn around, but Pantera blasts him between the eyes. Strutter meanwhile turns back and waves at someone to 'hurry up'. COACH Hey, look... they've got a referee with them! COLE This is bizarre. COACH No, this is BRILLIANT! Vote be damned, Alfdogg's gonna win the 24/7 Title and get a ticket back to Mainframe Monday whether anyone likes it or not! Sure enough, Pantera pitches Bohemoth into the ring and Alfdogg takes over with stomps on the 24/7 Champion, as Strutter grabs referee Mike Chioda and drags him into the ring with him. Obviously Chioda is just doing his job and stands back as the trio of Team Canada put the boots to Bohemoth! Alfdogg calls the beating to a halt though and tells Pantera and Strutter to pick Bo back up, while he rolls to the outside and snatches a steel chair. "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Uh-oh. COLE Here comes the cavalry!! The cheers obviously aren't for Team Canada. They're for AMERICA'S TEAM as they rush to the ring, closely followed by BROCK AUSSTIN!!! The OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champions hit the ring and although the Canadians get the jump on them, they're soon fighting back, prompting a pier-six brawl to break out! Brock and Pantera! Strutter and Benjamin! Alfdogg and Moss! Fists are flying and in the melee, most of the crowd don't even notice REJECT running to the ring, looking to pick the bones on the situation! COLE Now, here comes Reject! This is insane! COACH It's like the Knicks and the Nuggets out here! Reject skids in and takes over on Bohemoth, looking to soften him up some more before New Year's Day no doubt. It's chaos, with eight of the OAOAST's finest going at it. And it looks like nothing is going to stop them. Nothing except "Medal" (Kurt Angle's Theme), that is. "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH WHAAAAA!? COLE HERE COMES THE BOSS!!! Suddenly, all the fighting seems to come to a stop. Alfdogg and Strutter are sent packing and Reject sees the odds turning against him, bailing from the ring too. Pantera then gets a clothesline from Brock and all eyes turn to the stage, where Anglesault himself is standing, microphone in hand. ANGLESAULT Enough! Enough! Anglesault scans the ring as Team Canada regroup on the floor, Reject keeping his distance. ANGLESAULT I hate to break this little pow-wow up. I just happened to be in the building tonight and I've got enough things to settle and finalise, without you all causing me more problems. So, I'm out here to solve those before they get out of control. First off, the vote for Mainframe Monday has already started. Alf, you want back in after last week's loss and I understand that. But the less complication surrounding this concept, the better. So as of right now, until the New Year, the 24/7 rule is officially... SUSPENDED! Alf starts to cuss out the boss as Team Canada try to protest their case from a distance. To no avail, of course. ANGLESAULT And second of all, I promised these people and the viewing public a match featuring Alfdogg and Bohemoth tonight. And they're going to get it! So, seeing as you're all so desperate for a fight... far be it from me to stop you. As of right now, I'm making a match. And it will be ALFDOGG... teaming with TEAM CANADA... and the X-Division Champion, REJECT! A sudden scowl forms across Alf's face, as he glares over at the surprised Reject. ANGLESAULT And you will be taking on the 24/7 Champion, BOHEMOTH and his partners, the 6-Man Tag Team Champions, AMERICA'S TEAM and BROCK AUSSTIN! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Alright! The four Champions in the ring seem pretty pleased about that, definately more so than Team Canada and Reject on the floor. ANGLESAULT And I don't know what you're all waiting for, because that match starts... RIGHT NOW! *DINGDINGDING!* Referee Mike Chioda, taking over for the KOed Charles Robinson seamlessly, calls for the bell and Anglesault makes his leave. Team Canada still look shell-shocked on the floor, Reject left shrugging his shoulders, as the foursome in the ring dare their opposition on. COLE Anglesault has laid down the law! We've got an eight-man tag team match on our hands and it's coming up next! Don't go anywhere, because HeldDOWN~! will be right back after these commercials! [b]Commercials[/b] Back to live action and not a moment too soon. In the ring it's Felix Strutter and Quentin Benjamin, their respective team-mates on each apron as order has been restored. A wayward elbow by Strutter is ducked by Benjamin who continues into the ropes. Strutter leapfrogs high over the former NCAA Champion on the rebound though, dropping down and forcing Benjamin over top. A hiptoss is blocked though, Benjamin switching into a hiptoss of his own... but Strutter lands on his feet! Gaining his balance, Strutter leaps onto Quentin's thighs and tries to take him over with a Monkey Flip... but Benjamin lands on his feet! And we are at a stand-off, much to the frustration of "After Hours"! COLE What action, as you rejoin us on HeldDOWN~! An impromptu eight man tag team match in progress, made by the head of company Anglesault after chaos ensued before the break. COACH That's right, we were expecting Bohemoth versus Alfdogg and although Anglesault kinda played party pooper with Alf and the 24/7 Title, he's made one hell of a match to make up for it. COLE Somebody's hoping for a Christmas bonus. Strutter decides to tag out to Alfdogg, which gets a chorus of boos. It looks like Quentin is ready for him, but at the last moment he wags a finger, telling Alf to wait a second... as he tags in Bohemoth! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Well, it looks like we're going to see Alf versus Bo after all! In steps Bohemoth and Alfdogg looks a little less froggy all of a sudden. Cautiously Alf looks for a lock-up, luring the 24/7 Champion in before suddenly switching behind with a waistlock. Bohemoth lands a simple elbow and breaks the hold however, turning around and whipping Alf into the ropes. Underneath a clothesline Alf goes. But on the rebound he gets scooped up and PLANTED in mid-ring with a Powerslam! Leg is hooked... 1... 2... Kickout by Alf. Bohemoth helps Alf up and lands a big right hand, backing him into a neutral corner. In follows the bigman but Alf gets a boot up into the face! Bo takes a backstep and tries again, but again Alf gets the foot up! Third time is the charm though and as Alfdogg hops up to the middle rope, Bohemoth grabs the former World Champion and pitches him off the ropes with a hiptoss! COACH Wow, Alfdogg came down right on his tailbone! COLE That's the least of his worries now... With Alf hurting, Bohemoth strolls over to the corner and makes the tag to Brock Ausstin! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" As Alf pulls himself up, his Team Canada cohorts warn him to turn around, which he does, right into a clothesline from his long-time nemesis. Brock mows him down with a second clothesline. And a third, leaving Alfdogg wanting a timeout. Brock doesn't plan on granting him one, but Alf buys himself time as he lures in Brock and grabs the tights, sending him sprawling throat-first across the middle turnbuckle! COLE Right out of the playbook of Tully Blanchard. Alf crawls over and makes the tag to Ken Pantera, who quickly comes in and clubs away on Brock's back with forearms to keep him down. Loading Brock up, Pantera then whips him corner to corner. Out stumbles "The Current Big Thing", into a Trapped Arm Belly To Belly from Pantera! 1... 2... No! Keeping hold of the leg to keep Brock from getting to his corner, Pantera lets Strutter tag back in. Over the top vaults Strutter, coming down across the chest of Ausstin with a stomp and walking over to taunt Brock's partners. "U - S - A!" "U - S - A!" "U - S - A!" "U - S - A!" COACH What is this, a Bush Rally? I wish these people would show some respect. COLE They get none in return, why should they? Strutter return to Brock and drops the point of the elbow across the back of the neck before reaching up, with a quick tag to Pantera. A double whip from Team Canada sends Brock into the ropes, Strutter executing a drop toehold right across the outstretched knee of Pantera! Strutter just beats the five count and leaves the ring, while Pantera shrugs Brock's body off of his knee and makes the pin... 1... 2... Kickout! Pulling Brock back up, Pantera executes a quick snap suplex and tries again... 1... 2... Kickout again! COLE You have to do more than that to beat Brock Ausstin. COACH Maybe, but he's making him expend energy with every kickout. It's smart strategy. And so are quick tags, Pantera bringing Felix Strutter back in. Reject remains noteably disinterested in what's going on as Strutter climbs up top and comes down with a double axehandle on Brock. The bigman doesn't go down though, so Strutter wheels him back into the corner and takes issue with the opposition corner, luring in America's Team, allowing his team-mates to attack behind the referee's back!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Come on, triple team in the corner! COACH More smart strategy. COLE Well, yes. Questionable but effective, I'll admit that. Chioda tries to maintain order as the beatdown continues. And by the time he turns around the Canadians and Reject are all innocently watching on, Alfdogg having unwrapped the tag rope from around Brock's throat. Strutter lands some kicks in the corner on Brock and looks up at Reject, the two making a very icy tag to bring in Reject for the first time. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE No love there. Remember, it was just two weeks ago that Strutter and Reject were battling over the X-Division Title. Out of the corner comes Brock, courtesy of a snapmare. Reject then delivers a dropkick to the back of the head and pins Brock down for the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Reject doesn't waste any time and reaches up, tagging in Pantera and scarpering. COLE Reject didn't last long, did he? COACH He's making quick tags, being a smart wrestler. Quit looking for angles, you're not a journalist anymore. In comes the powerhouse of the team again and he hauls Brock back to his feet. A forearm rocks Brock and sets up an irish whip. As Brock rebounds, Pantera goes to the gut with a right hand and doubles him over, hitting the ropes and looking to follow up with a kneelift. As the knee is lifted though, Brock spins and catches Pantera with a backslide... 1... 2... Pantera escapes... ...and takes down Brock with a clothesline! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Pantera almost got shocked there! Tag is made and in comes Alfdogg, stalking Brock. Some kicks to the head do as much to taunt Brock as inflict damage, Alf having fun with his long time enemy. Slowly, Alf then sets Brock up for a suplex. Brock blocks however, placing his leg behind Alfdogg's and preventing the lift. Alfdogg tries again but again Brock puts the kibosh on those plans, spinning out of the front facelock and pulling Alf up onto his shoulders looking for the F-STUNNER-5... ...but Alf lands a few knees into the ear and sneaks down the back, wrapping up Brock and taking him over with a German Suplex, into a bridge... 1... 2... Kickout! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" COLE Great display of power by Alf to hit that suplex and keep the bridge, but it only earns him a two count. COACH They need to put Brock away quick. That's twice now he's nearly slipped out of Team Canada's clutches and got a tag. Alf beats Brock down a little before making the tag to Strutter. The duo set Brock up and deliver a double irish whip, catching him on the rebound with stereo dropkicks to drop the bigman. The man from Thunder Bay then makes the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! "LET'S GO BROCK!" "LET'S GO BROCK!" "LET'S GO BROCK!" "LET'S GO BROCK!" The crowd rally behind Ausstin as Strutter snaps off some right hands. Brock continues to power to his feet despite the blows however and he palms "After Hours" off. Strutter comes back with some more jabs, but again Brock manages to shove him away. So, Felix measures Brock and aims for his head with a Roundhouse Kick... DUCKED! Strutter ends up doing a pirouette coming around back to face Brock, who grabs Strutter around the head and pops him with a Head and Arm Suplex, throwing Strutter HALFWAY ACROSS THE RING!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Ho - lee crap!! COLE What a throw! It looked like Felix was shot out of a cannon he went so far! Both men are down and the trios of partners in the corner route their respective men on. Apart from Reject, who's still not in synch with his team-mates and Bohemoth, too cool to clap. COLE This is Brock's chance here. He's been in an awful long time and he's got three fresh partners to bring in. Brock begins to crawl to the corner, Strutter remaining motionless but near his corner. Eventually, "After Hours" begins to come to his senses and after a moment to look up he realises where he is, reaching out... ...and tagging in Alfdogg... ...as Brock makes a lunge... ...AND GETS THE TAG TO CHARLIE MOSS!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" New partners on each side and it's the fired up Moss who storms in, taking out Alf with an elbow! And a clothesline! Followed up with a BAAAAACK body drop that sends Alf flying! In comes Ken Pantera and Moss' pent up frustrations haven't run out yet, leaping up and knocking Pantera down with a forearm. Reject looks to save the situation but a sidestep and a hand in the back sends the X-Division Champion soaring over the top rope and to the floor and Moss has cleaned house!! COLE Charlie Moss dishing out some Americana, if you will! COACH Stop being so bias. Reject is American. COLE So's Alf. COACH Hush. Reject pulls himself up on the outside and shakes away the cobwebs. As he turns back to the ring though, Quentin Benjamin suddenly comes running down the apron and soars, wiping out Reject with a Flying Clothesline on the floor!! COLE Woah! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Back in the ring meanwhile, Alfdogg is up and he walks right into Moss. A boot to the gut doubles Alf up and Moss grabs a front waistlock, taking him over with an Overhead Belly To Belly! Moss scrambles after Alf and makes the cover... 1... 2... NO! Pantera is back in, but Moss lands a standing dropkick to fend him off, the Canadian powerhouse stumbling towards the ropes and getting lowbridged, as Bohemoth sits on the middle rope and causes Pantera to go tumbling to the floor! The innocent 24/7 Champion then returns to the corner, while Alf swings for the hills on Moss. Moss ducks, executing a crisp T-Bone Suplex and following with a quick pin... 1... 2... NO!! COLE Another kickout, but Alfdogg is reeling! As Moss climbs back up, Bohemoth extends a hand asking for the tag. And Moss is happy to oblige... ...until Pantera pulls Bohemoth off the apron! Pantera and Bohemoth start to slug it out on the floor, leaving Moss to go back on the offence. But Alf is waiting on him and catches Moss napping, with a small package... 1... 2... 3- NO! ONLY TWO! COLE Alf playing possum and it almost got him the victory. But almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. COACH And nobody's playing horseshoes in a century. Both men come back to their feet and it's Alf who strikes, kneeing Moss in the gut and whipping him into the turnbuckles. Alfdogg takes a run-up and then charges in, getting backdropped over the top by Moss but landing safely on his feet on the apron. For a while that is, before Moss lands a back elbow, sending Alf plummeting to ringside. Moss turns around and nods at his handiwork, walking back into the centre of the ring... ...AND INTO THE FULL NELSON OF KEN PANTERA!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH He caught him! Moss struggles in the Full Nelson for a few seconds and he manages to prevent Pantera from properly clasping the hands, which allows him to bottom out and escape the hold. Rolling back, Moss pulls Pantera over with a roll-up... 1... ...but he's not looking for a pin! Moss climbs back to his feet and turns Pantera over, looking to apply the Mossy Knoll!! It's Pantera's turn to struggle but Moss perseveres and manages to get the legs crossed, trying to elevate Pantera, but losing the awareness of his surroundings... *BAM!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH EULOGY~! COLE REJECT WITH THE EULOGY, from out of nowhere!! The X-Division Champion hops right to his feet and laps up the moment. But he doesn't realise what's waiting behind him as Bohemoth slides back into the ring and stalks the X-Division Champion. Only when Reject turns to go for the pin does he notice The Meterosexual Monster. And by then it's too late to prevent being clotheslined up and over the top to the floor! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Reject manages to land on his feet, but is reeling. Bohemoth exits the ring after him. And at that moment, Reject decides that discretion is the better part of valour and he backs up down the ramp, begging off from the 24/7 Champion! COLE Wait a minute... where's Reject going? COACH He's luring Bo in. COLE It doesn't look like he's luring him in. It looks like Reject's leaving! Bo follows after one of his Mainframe Monday opponents and Reject keeps on retreating. Back in the ring meanwhile and Moss is still down, as Alfdogg scales the turnbuckles. Looking around, Alf sees Strutter and Brock battling on the floor, Benjamin having been KOed also. And with no-one to stop him, Alf soars off the top... ....AND HITS THE FIVE-STAR ALF SPLASH~!!!!!11111 COLE Oh, he got him good! Amazing hangtime from the former World Champion! COACH And Alf and Moss are the legal men! After a moment favouring his ribs, Alf drapes himself over Moss and over skids Chioda... 1... Bohemoth hears the count... 2... ...and runs back to the ring... 3!!!!!!!! ...but he's too late!!! *DINGDINGDING!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BUFFER Here are your winners... the team of REJECT, KEN PANTERA, "AFTER HOURS" FELIX STRUTTER and AAAAAALLLFFFFDDOOOOOOGG!!! Alf celebrates the win as Bohemoth stops at the bottom of the ramp, glaring back up at Reject who is celebrating the victory all the way up the rampway. All of Team Canada get in on the celebration as Brock is left bemused about what happened, slamming his hands into the apron in frustration. COLE It wasn't schdeuled, it wasn't expected but it was one heck of a match. And Team Canada pick up the win... COACH Thanks to Reject! COLE What!? How!? COACH Reject lured Bohemoth up the ramp and stopped him from making the save! Otherwise, we might still be going now. It was Alfdogg with the pin and it's Reject with the assist, sealing a fantastic victory. COLE I don't buy that Coach. I think Reject was trying to keep himself fresh for New Year's Spectacular, knowing he might have to defend his title. But Reject won't be running from Bohemoth on New Year's Day, not if he wants to come away with whatever belt you great fans vote to be up for grabs! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
