HD: Landon promo

[King Cucaracha 0]

If this can go at the start of the show, that'd be great. If not, no problem.

 

 

"REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH!"

"Personal Jesus" by Marilyn Manson thumps through the arena and the crowd rise to their feet, thumbs pointed firmly down and plenty of middle fingers going up the other way. As the sliding doors part, the figures of Megan Skye and Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix emerge, with Landon smirking from ear to ear, arm in arm with his manageress as they walk to the ring.

COLE
We are eleven days away from the 2007 New Year's Spectacular, Mainframe Monday and the voting is still open! You can choose who, what and how you want to ring in the New Year with the OAOAST. And top of the ballot, announced at the start of the week, Drek Stone will defend his World Heavyweight Title against one of three prospective challengers. Tony Brannigan, CWM, or this man, Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix!

COACH
And I'd like to think we're looking at the recipient of the wooden spoon right now. I don't see why any true OAOAST fan would vote for an SWF star to challenge out World Champion.

COLE
Maybe they want to see two of the most hated men on the roster tear each other apart?

COACH
There's that, sure. But, I certainly won't be voting for him...

Pan out from the announce table to reveal Johnathon Coachman's BRAND NEW LAPTOP!

COACH
...ON THIS!

COLE
Of course you won't, it's not even plugged in.

COACH
It's no... crap. Where's the outlet on this damn table?

Landon climbs the ring steps and bounds into the ring, holding the ropes open for Megan Skye to join him. Sure enough, Landon then heads straight for the microphone, demanding it from Michael Buffer who's sent packing by The Next Generation. Of course, without a microphone in his hand he's worthless, so it's no big loss. A brief bout of boos are thrown Landon's way and he's forced to wait for them to die down before starting.

MADDIX
First of all, I'd like to take a moment to extend my congratulations to one Bruce Blank, on his momentous victory last week. After all the aggravation and the persecution he, as well as myself, have suffered since joined this company it's nice to see that finally, The Wildcards are earning some 'Respect' around here.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COLE
Very cute choice of words.

Landon smirks as he waits for quiet again.

MADDIX
Anyway, I'll make this quick because I've got to get to Santa's Village by tommorrow night. To wrestle, naturally. *rolls eyes* Now some of you might remember a couple of weeks ago, me talking about my goals for the coming year. And I officially entered myself into the Lethal Royal Dangerous Regal Whatever-Moniker-You-Like Rumble on January 28th, with my sights set on AngleMania and history on the grandest stage. But little did I know that I'd be getting so far ahead of myself. It's always best to plan ahead. Little did I know I needn't bother. See, the buzz in the air is because you've all got the chance to play fantasy booker on New Year's Day. And you, you fans, you great OAOAST fans, get to choose who challenges Drek Stone...

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Landon pauses and actually nods in agreement with the boos.

MADDIX
...challenges Drek Stone for the OAOAST World Title on January 1st! What better way to make history, what better [i]time[/i] to make history than New Year's Day? To win the World Title with the sounds of Auld Lang Syne still ringing in the air and the alcohol already on tap. To truly make 2007 your year. To start the year as you mean to go on. What better way could there be?

It certainly sounded rhetorical, but Landon looks for an answer from Megan all the same. Megan shrugs her shoulders and tells her man she doesn't know.

MADDIX
In the spirit of cliché, now would be the time where I talk about making the ascent to World Heavyweight Champion my New Year's Resolution, or how that belt would be the perfect late Christmas present. I'm not here to spout clichés though. I'm here... to campaign. As you've heard before and will no doubt hear countless other times tonight, it's YOUR vote that counts. You and you alone will dictate if New Year's Spectacular will be main-evented by Drek Stone vs. Tony Brannigan, Drek Stone vs. CWM or Drek Stone vs. moi, Landon Maddix. You and you alone. So, right now I'm going to plead my case to you all...

The fans begin to express their disinterest already, as Landon flips the microphone around in his hand.

MADDIX
...and in the spirit of Democracy, you'll hear me out, I'm sure.

Landon continues to flip the microphone around, seemingly trying to think of the right way to plead his case. Looking around the crowd, Landon's eyes dart a little. These people seem a little bias already. If he's going to win them over, he knows he's going to have to pull some performance out of the bag...





...so he drops to his knees in the centre of the ring.

MADDIX
PLLLLEEEAAASSSEEE vote for me, I'm BEGGING you!! PLEASE vote for me!

COLE
What!?

MADDIX
I need this SO much you wouldn't believe! My tag team partner is the World Champion over at the SWF and I haven't had a title shot in MONTHS! The bastard never loses! NEVER I tell you! This is my only chance now! PLEASE, PLEASE! I'm SORRY for everything I said about the OAOAST! I'm SORRY for setting Rodez up and stealing his title! I'm SORRY... well, let's just say I'm sorry for the whole damn run so far! I didn't MEAN any of it! I'm a nice guy, really! And if you vote for me, I PROMISE I'll be a great World Champion! I'll kiss babies, I'll feed the poor, I'll clothe the lepers... WHATEVER YOU WANT, just VOTE FOR ME, I'm begging you! I'll never be the SWF World Champion again, so I need THIS title! The other two guys suck anyway!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COLE
This is a little pathetic.

COACH
A [i]little[/i]?

Hearing the boos, Landon pauses for a moment. Pouting a little, The Next Generation waits for the fans to quieten down, folding his arms as they decide to toy with the SWF superstar a little.

MADDIX
Is this what passes as democracy in this state!? I'm trying to save you the mistake of wasting your vote here, you people should be grateful for a little honesty out here...


[b]“He’s Simply Ravishing…OW![/b]

"YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

COLE
OH, MY!

The crowd go nuts as Landon's head snaps to the entrance way. He and Megan both look a little confused, Maddix seen mouthing the words 'I thought Rick Rude was dead'. Apparantly, he's not up on the entrance music of TONY BRANNIGAN, former World Heavyweight and three-time Tag Team Champion of the OAOAST!

COLE
We haven't seen Tony for months! But he's back and he's back on the trail of the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship!

COACH
Yeah, I wonder how Dan Black feels about that.

COLE
I'm sure he's voting as we speak.

COACH
But for who?

COLE
Stop trying to create trouble.

T-Bod climbs the steps and enters the ring as Maddix pulls Megan behind him to protect her. Not that Tony would be likely to go after her, but let's be fair, Landon doesn't know that. Brannigan grabs another microphone from ringside and smiles to himself. He's back.

"TO - NY!"
"TO - NY!"
"TO - NY!"
"TO - NY!"

BRANNIGAN
Let me cut you off right there kid. I don't know if you realise who the hell I am, but right now you and your little escort there are looking at what a [i]real[/i] man looks like!

"YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

BRANNIGAN
You're looking at a former OAOAST World Champion. And this New Year, I intend on winning that World Title one more time! 

MADDIX
Is that so?

BRANNIGAN
That is so. You come out here and you start begging these people to vote for you to take on Drek Stone. But you've done nothing to prove yourself to me or to these fans. I'm a former World Champion and I never, NEVER got my rematch! I jumped at the chance to get in on this vote and I trust these people to make the right choice. See, if there's one thing all these people want, it's to see Drek Stone get his ass kicked on New Year's Day! And I just don't think you're up to the task, little man. You se...

MADDIX
Woah woah WOAH!

If anything, Tony looks a little amused at this two hundred fifteen pound youngster daring to challenge him. Maddix is not amused though, as he glares at Brannigan, breathing heavily. In ANGER~!

MADDIX
You did NOT just call me 'little man'! Nobody, but NOBODY, calls me little man.

BRANNIGAN
I think I just did, [i]little man[/i].

"OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Landon is really fuming now, biting down on his lip as he tries to contain his anger. It's all fixing to break down now as Landon is calmed down by an impromptu neck massage from Megan Skye, a relaxed smile creeping over The Next Generation's face as he eventually tells Megan he's OK.

MADDIX
I'm going to let that slide this time, because you're obviously a little over-excited being in the ring with a superstar such as myself.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COACH
Wow.

COLE
No respect what-so-ever from Landon Maddix!

MADDIX
You obviously have a case to pledge and that's fine. That's democracy. But, this ring just happens to be taken. So, let me put it to you like this, 'Tone'. What I'd like to have right now...

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Tony smirks, folding his arms as this spiel seems 'strangely' familiar.

MADDIX
...is for you to keep the noise down, while you take off and I continue to show these people why I should be the Number One Contender, as well as what a REAL sexy man looks like. We're not going to hit your music again. It sucks. Thank you and goodbye. Now...

BRANNIGAN
Hey! I respect the fact that you feel the need to plead your case to get a title shot, because from what I hear you're not that popular. But if you wanna convince these people to vote for you, how about you do it the old fashioned way?

COLE
Oh, here we go!

Suddenly, Tony starts to remove his shirt and it seems like it's time to fight! Maddix starts to panic as Brannigan throws his shirt across the ring and at The Next Generation's feet, before treating Megan Skye to the DOUBLE BICEP POSE~! he's so synonymous with!! Flipping the microphone over, Landon wields the mic like a weapon and charges, trying to club Brannigan over the head with it... but Brannigan ducks and catches Landon on the way back with a big right hand! Another big right! And another, Landon getting bounced around the ring like a pinball! Dazed, Maddix stumbles around the ring, noticing Megan screaming for him to 'get out of the way' from the outside. From what though isn't clear, until he turns around into a boot to the gut and gets pulled into a standing headscissors for the Attitude Adjustment Piledri...




...NO! Maddix drops to all fours to escape the move and scurries from the ring like the proverbial scolded dog!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COLE
Look at him run! And this crowd don't like it one bit. Landon Maddix wrote some cheques that his mouth couldn't cash and now, when the action got too hot for him, he's runs away with his tail between his legs from Tony Brannigan!

Megan helps to drag Landon away up the ramp as "Simply Ravishing", despite Landon's earlier claims, does hit and the crowd give it up for T-Bod. Brannigan leans over the ropes and points the finger at Landon before making the ominous "belt motion" around his waist, reminding the world that he wants the World Title. Still looking a little shaky, Maddix points back at Brannigan vows revenge, all the while retreating up the ramp as HeldDOWN~! goes to a commercial break.