HD: Enterprise promo

[King Cucaracha 0]

COLE
Alright, standing by is Tony Schiavone and he's with The Enterprise! Tony, take it away...


Backstage we go to the OAOAST's Update Center, which looks strangely like the desk ringside back when NWA was on the TBS Super Station. Go figure, because Tony Schiavone is standing behind the desk, microphone in hand and ready to go.

SCHIAVONE
Well, Christmas has come and gone and now we are all looking ahead to the New Year, more so than usual this year with the New Year's Spectacular, Mainframe Monday, live from Daytona Beach on New Year's Day! And my guests at this time have plenty of vested interest in Mainframe Monday, Theodore Moneymaker and his Enterprise.

From the left side of the screen, the five members of The Enterprise walk in. Moneymaker leads the way, standing himself next to Schiavone and adjusting his smoking jacket with a big smile on his face. Mackenzie and The Beverly Hills Blonds, who are dressed in their pastel blue suits, plus Christian Wright clad in the red polyester jacket of much expence follow. Christian drops his briefcase on the desk as The Enterprise assemble themselves in shot. All of them seem to be sporting new ROLEX WATCHES, presumably Christmas present from the leader himself.

SCHIAVONE
Gentlemen, the World Tag Team Championship will be the focus of your attention at Mainframe Monday. And all four of you will be entered into the match, be it a Battle Royal, Triple Chance Battle Royal or Tag Team Turmoil, which begs the question, what is the gameplan?

MONEYMAKER
What is the gameplan? The gameplan, little man, is to come away with those OAOAST World Tag Team Championships in our possession. And that's EXACTLY what's gonna happen on New Year's Day. You see Tony Schiavone, those poor peasants out there in TV land might be exciting about the thought of finally having some power in their miserable lives, assuming they're running the show this New Year. But no amount of votes is going to change the outcome. The destination of those World Tag Team Championships is determined by one thing and one thing alone. Cold, hard, cash!

Ned starts to applaud, showing off his gleaming 'HUSTLER' cufflinks, Simon nodding his head in agreement beside him.

MONEYMAKER
It's no coincidence that out of six teams competing for those belts, you've got two respresenting The Enterprise. It didn't take much convincing the powers that be that myself and Christian should be involved. Our record since he joined the fold speaks for itself. But, I'll be honest, for some reason the 'higher ups' were a little less co-operative about The Beverly Hills Blonds' inclusion.

SCHIAVONE
Well that may be because they were scheduled to face Los Diablos, until Ned's 'groin injury' popped up.

BLANCHARD
And that's the only thing that's 'popped up' since then, so I suggest you drop the suspicious tone in your voice. You're looking at a wounded man here. I couldn't even defend myself last week against those depraved deportees, you saw it! And to make matters worse, their 'antics' caused me to suffer a relapse of my injury last week. (grimaces) A lesser man would be in traction right now. It's all I can do to pull this suit on in the morning. Infact, were it not so exclusively and finely tailored, I might not even be here tonight. I have but one person to thank for being here though. And that's you Teddy.

The 'humbled' Theodore Moneymaker turns to Ned and places a comforting arm on his shoulders.

BLANCHARD
This man has generously funded, out of his own pocket no less, my recouperation efforts. And this week, I was whisked away to the warm waters of Vero Beach, where the finest physical therapists known to man have attended to my injury. Night and day those ladies worked on The Handsome Hustler. And thank the Lord we made progress. Unfortunately, I'm still not in the kind of shape to pull double duty on New Year's Day...

SINGLETON
Depending on how the after-party goes, of course.

BLANCHARD
...but I'm confident I can do myself justice in the Tag Team Title Match.

SCHIAVONE
I'm sure your fans will be glad to hear it's not a 'serious' injury.

The sarcasm in Tony's voice earns him some sharp looks.

MONEYMAKER
Are you a doctor?

SCHIAVONE
Well, no, it's just tha...

MONEYMAKER
Are you a doctor!?

SCHIAVONE
No I'm not...

MONEYMAKER
Then keep those lips buttoned little man. If I want a second opinion, I'll pay for one from a trained professional! Not some glorified quote-un-quote 'journalist'! You don't know just how serious the injury is. But I'll tell ya this, Ned Blanchard is a man. A real man. A man who will fight through the pain barrier for all those nine to five, nickel n' dimers out there who'll throw down their measly wages on this New Year's show. And don't you worry about Los Diablos. They're taken care of. It won't be at The Beverly Hills Blonds' hands, sadly, but they WILL get what's coming to them!

All five members of The Enterprise nod in agreement.

MONEYMAKER
And it's going to be a triple celebration for The Enterprise. Not only are these men going to bask in the wealth of Theodore Moneymaker and the most lavish New Year's Party my money can buy... not only are we gonna bask in the knowledge that Los Diablos are finally dealt with... but we are also going to bask in the glory of those OAOAST World Tag Team Championships little man! Whether it's myself and my Financial Analyst Christian Wright...

Wright pats the briefcase and nods, Ned patting his stable-mate on the back.

MONEYMAKER
...or whether it's The Beverly Hills Blonds walking away with their fourth World Tag Team Title. It doesn't matter either way. You're looking at four men destined for greatness. One way or another, The Enterprise will walk away with those World Tag Team Titles. And Schiavone, you can take THAT to the bank! MWUAHAHAHAHA!!

And on that note, the note of Theodore Moneymaker's low voice cackling away, The Enterprise walk away with self-congratulation high on the agenda. Tony Schiavone just watches on shaking his head at the arrogance of the fivesome.

SCHIAVONE
The Enterprise in high spirits! Let's go back to ringside.