Tony149 0 Report post Posted January 4, 2007 (edited) Promo to go on sometime BEFORE Alf's America's Team-Hells Hitmen match. COLE We're just about ready to go with our first Anderson Cup bout of the night, but I understand Enterprise CEO Theodore Moneymaker has requested interview time to deliver a major announcement. With that, let's send it over to our broadcast colleague "Mean" Gene Okerlund. OKERLUND Theodore Moneymaker, you asked for this time. The forum is all yours. THEODORE Asked isn't the word, Okerlund. Paid for. That's the power of money, baby. It can buy anything or anyone. MUAHAHAHAHA! Months ago I made the decision to invest in the hottest property on the market, SMN Productions, and instantaneously became a major player in the world of wrestling. You know why, little man? Because when money talks people listen. Don't believe me, just ask Felix Strutter and Ken Pantera, Team Canada. They've graciously accepted my offer to acquire the #2 seed in Los Infernales Conference which I'm proud to present to the Beverly Hills Blonds. BWAHAHAHAHAHA! SIMON & NED :D :) OKERLUND Are you telling me you've bought the #2 seed for the Beverly Hills Blonds?! THEODORE Lock, stock and barrel. An incentive for winning the 2006 Angle Award for Tag Team of the Year. OKERLUND But that means...that means Los Diablos de Fuego will have to face... THEODORE Team Canada. HAHAHAHAHAHA! OKERLUND But what happens should they both meet up in the Conference Finals? SIMON We'll worry about that when the time comes. OKERLUND Then you better start worrying. Need I remind you, Team Canada won last year's Tag Team World Cup. NED Yeah, last year. Their purpose is to defeat Los Di-- I mean, uh... OKERLUND Say it. To defeat Los Diablos de Fuego. Theodore bought the 2 seed so you guys wouldn't have to face them now or later in the tournament. NED Anyway, I'd like to give thanks to the Lord Jesus Christ... OKERLUND Oh, you gotta be kidding me. NED I'm most certainly not. I was in serious pain a few nights ago, you know, from my groin injury, and I just got down on my hands and knees and prayed to the Lord after my daughter Maya told me about Krista's recent outburst at her school to protest her best friend's mother saying a prayer to keep them safe. I figured God would smile upon me I denounced that woman, and he did. The next morning I woked up feeling the best I've had in weeks. A true miracle! OKERLUND A load of bull if you ask me. SIMON Well, we didn't. So there. :P OKERLUND A load of bull if you ask me. You're the most disingenuous men I've ever had the misfortunte of coming across. SIMON And you've been around Hogan, so that's a compliment! THEODORE (whistles) Moss, Benjamin...come here for a second, will ya. OKERLUND Theodore Moneymaker calling for Charlie Moss and Quentin Benjamin, America's Team. Gentlemen, welcome. THEODORE Now, I don't know if you've heard, but earlier today I finalized a deal with Team Canada to purchase the #2 seed in their bracket and want to extend the same offer to you. BENJAMIN You want to buy our spot for you and CW? THEODORE Exactly. MOSS Just how much are we talking about here? THEODORE Oh, believe me, a very healthy sum in cold...hard...cash. BENJAMIN What do you think, man? MOSS I don't know. Is the girl included? "YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!" BENJAMIN (licking his chops) Heh. Yeah, I'd like some of that. MACKEZNIE Excuse me?! THEODORE Hey. Just who do you think you're talking to? I'm giving you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. If you want to pass on the offer like two morons, go ahead, but don't try to get over at my expense. MOSS Eh, we'll take our chances. * WHAP * Theodore is staggered by a SLAP to the face. The Blonds and CW having to catch their boss before he falls on his ass on worldwide television. SIMON Medic! We need a medic! I think a tooth may be loose! BENJAMIN (to Gene) Sometimes it's not all about the benjamins, you know. OKERLUND I guess not. Theodore Moneymaker's notion money can by anything or anyone proven to be wrong. We'll be right back. * COMMERICAL BREAK * Edited January 4, 2007 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tony149 0 Report post Posted January 4, 2007 (edited) [b]And now the [color="#2E8B57"]ENTER[/color][color="#808000"]PRISE[/color] proudly presents...OAOAST BACKTRACKER. [color="#FF0000"]New Year's[/color] [color="#0000FF"]Spectacular[/color]: [color="#800080"]Monday[/color] [color="#FF8C00"]Mainframe[/color][/b] [quote]Mariachi is beaten so bad Los Conquistadors set him up for their double team finisher, the slingshot clothesline...but Uno slingshots Mariachi too hard towards the corner, enabling him pick up some serious air and take Dos down off the top with a HURRICARANA! 1... 2... 3! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER The winners of the fall, Los Diablos de Fuego! ONE... TWO... THREE... Still in disbelief, Uno is unable to break the pin. He snaps out of it and lunges at Mariachi, who brings him down with a drop toehold. Los Diablos then place the barbed wire tiara on his head and hit the spike tombstone piledriver they call THE SODOMIZER! EIGHT... NINE... TEN! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match...LOS DIABLOS DE FFFUUUUUEEEEEGGOOOOOO! "YEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Mentally and physically exhausted, Los Diablos have nothing left in the tank when they're attacked by the BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The Blonds have their way with Los Diablos, beating them chairs and Moracca's own rhinestone belt until OAOAST officials are able to arrival and restore order.[/quote] [b]This has been OAOAST BACKTRACKER, paid for by the [color="#2E8B57"]ENTER[/color][color="#808000"]PRISE[/color]: Never mess with the rich and famous![/b] Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime BUFFER The following contest, first round ANDERSON CUP action set for one fall with a 10 minute time limit. Currently on their way to the ring, the 4th ranked team in Los Infernales Conference; they are accompanied by the Chief Financial Officer of the Enterprise MACKENZIE DECENZO...from Beverly Hills 90210, total combined weight 460 pounds, the former heavyweight tag team champions of the world..."THE HANDSOME HUSTLER" NED BLANCHARD, "THE VIDEO VOYEUR" SIMON SINGLETON... THE BEVERLY HILLS BLLLLOOOOOOOONDSSSSS!!! Full of bravado the Beverly Hills Blonds scroll down the red carpet grinning from ear to ear. So exuberent Ned thanks Jesus for healing his groin injury. As they reach ringside, one of their assistants passes by to place Mackenzie's director's chair in the Blonds corner, bowing at her feet so Mackie can step up and onto the chair. VENTURA Do you know how many men would pay to have Mackie walk on them, Schiavone? Wait a minute. Why am I even asking you? You're one of them! SCHIAVONE There's no better feeling than a 6 inch heel digged into your back. Uh, I mean...Hi there, fans. Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura here to call the next match for you. A first round bout in the 2007 Anderson Cup we thought would be Los Diablos de Fuego vs. the Beverly Hills Blonds, but surprise surprise, the Blonds went Nick Saban and found a way to weasel out of a commitment yet again! This time it was a gift courtesy of Enterprise CEO Theodore Moneymaker who bought -- BOUGHT, Jesse -- the #2 seed from Team Canada for them. VENTURA How great of a boss is Teddy, Tony? The 2 seed had to cost a pretty penny or two. Probably a 6 figure sum. Chump change to a man like Moneymaker, but it goes to show how he'll reward his associates for their hard work. As Mackie takes her seat, Gavin Rossdale's "Adrenaline" hits and the only bodybuilding tag team in OAOAST history rush onto the stage chewing on power bars and gulping down the lastest NRG drink. BUFFER And their opponents! Total combined weight 515 pounds, the team of BIFF ATLAS and FLEX PHILLIPS... NUTRITION'S REAL GURUS... N... R...G!!! NRG enter the squared circle and the Blonds hightail it to discuss strategy with the woman who knows Biff and Flex best, their former manager Mackenzie DeCenzo. SCHIAVONE The tension is high anytime these two teams get together as it was the Beverly Hills Blonds Mackenzie left NRG to manage, publically firing Nutrition's Real Gurus in front of thousands of fans and millions of viewers worldwide. In fact, it was the Beverly Hills Blonds who defeated NRG in their OAOAST return and on the first edition of Syndicated. You better believe Biff and Flex haven't forgotten about that, just as Los Diablos de Fuego haven't forgotten about the trauma the Blonds have caused to them. They want a piece of Simon and Ned in the worst way. VENTURA Imagine that. Los Diablos actually have something in common with the opposite sex! They both want a piece of the hottest tag team in wrestling today, the Beverly Hills Blonds. SCHIAVONE You know what I mean, Jesse. Ned faked an injury to avoid wrestling Los Diablos at Monday Mainframe, "willing" his way through the tag team turmoil, then along with Simon attacked Moracca and Mariachi after they just had a grueling Mexican Deathmatch vs. Los Conquistadors. VENTURA Hey, Ned said it himself -- it was a miracle. Blame Jesus. When you think about it, it's not really surprising. Los [i]Diablos[/i] de Fuego, [i]Devils[/i] of the Fire. Put two and two together. It was an act of God. Haha. * DINGDINGDING * Everyone take their places as the bell sounds. Ned Blanchard and Flex Phillps to start. They lockup, and Blanchard is overpowered, slammed to the mat. He rushes to his feet and quickly locks back up, only to be slammed again. Ned bails outside to gather his senses and has a few words with Mackie and Simon before re-entering. The Handsome Hustler clasps his hands together and asks for a test of strength Grecko Roman knucklelock. Flex obliges...and is kicked in the gut! Blanchard then hammers away, smashing Flex into the top turnbuckle prior to STOMPING A MUDHOLE AND WALKING IT DRY! JIVIN' J.R. STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! VENTURA What's that fat Okie doing here? JIVIN' J.R. I'm so BAH GAWD lonely. SCHIAVONE You better run outta here like a scalded dog, Jim, or Jesse's probably gonna toss you out. Following a tag, the Blonds whip Flex into the ropes but miss the double back elbow, and are floored on the rebound by a clothesline! Biff steps in to even the odds. Dumb bell rights stagger the Blonds, as Biff shoots Ned in and wastes him with a big boot. Biff exits beating his chest ala Tarzan but is soon back in as the legal man. He looks to land Snake Eyes when Simon slips off and dropkicks him into the corner, immediately rolling him up in a school boy! ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! Atlas reverses an Irish whip and presses Simon overhead, then tosses him into the charging Ned Blanchard! As Ned rolls out, Simon is launched into the corner where he smacks his head on the turnbuckle and stumbles back into the clutches of NRG. Not wanting to risk going to the time limit Biff and Flex go for the win now, looking to hit their NRG Burst, a press slam/gutbuster combo...but Blanchard sneaks in and CLIPS FLEX'S KNEE! Biff makes the mistake of letting Simon go to after Ned, which allows Simon to clip him from behind as well! VENTURA Things not looking so good for NRG anymore. SCHIAVONE Tag made. Ned Blanchard the legal man. Ned fires Biff across the ring and drives the elbow into the chest, knocking Atlas off his feet. He follows up with a snapmare and comes off the second turnbuckle with the point of the elbow to the sternum. ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! The Handsome Hustler complains about a slow count. He puts a halt to his arguement to throw Biff outside and push Flex off the apron, baiting him into the ring while Simon sends Biff into the guardrail. Singleton chicken-wings Atlas and holds his head up as Mackie comes over and SLAPS the taste out of Biff's mouth. SCHIAVONE Such blatant disregard for the rules. Nick Patrick catches Simon with Biff and orders him to back off, to which Simon acts like he's just trying to help Biff back in. Ned springs off the middle rope and drives the boot into the side of the head repeatedly. Blanchard tags Simon and slams Atlas in the center of the ring. Singleton connects with a flying elbow, hooking the leg as he makes the cover. ONE... TWO... TH-- KICKOUT! Simon brings Biff over to the corner, smashing him face-first into the turnbuckle and unloading with a series of stinging knife-edge chops. Irish whip and a tag by the Blonds. Simon takes Biff down with a drop toehold while Ned comes off the near side and drives the point of the elbow into the back of the head in succession. The Blonds with another quick tag and double-team maneuver -- DOUBLE FEATURE FLAPJACK! ONE... TWO... THR-- KICKOUT! SCHIAVONE The Blonds doing an excellent job keeping Biff isolated in their corner, Jesse. VENTURA Tag Team 101. Simon chokes Biff and earns the wrath of Nick Patrick for his blatant disregard of the rules. Simon innocently moves up, placing the knee under Biff's throat and throwing his arms up in the air to argue his point. Nick Patrick's been around the block long enough to know the game Simon Singleton is up to, demanding he breaks the choke or get disqualified. 1... 2... 3... 4... Simon walks away and taunts Flex with the only poses he knows -- Hulk Hogan's. Singleton incites the crowd even further by cupping his ear ala the Hulkster. Simon casual walks back over to Biff and stomps the head. Following a suplex Simon climbs to the top, balling up his fist, the spotlight focused in the center of the ring as he dives off... ...AND SMACKS HIS CHIN ON BIFF'S BARE FEET! SCHIAVONE Biff got the boots up! VENTURA Unbelieveable. It looked like Singleton had a clear shot, but at the last moment Biff got his feet up. Both men down. Now who can make the tag? Simon crawls to his corner holding onto his chin, Biff unable to do much other than roll onto his side. As Tony Schiavone predicted, the Blonds are the first to make the tag. The fresher Ned Blanchard stepping in and punishing Atlas with more elbows to the sternum. He scapes Biff off the mat and connects with a round of rights, whipping Atlas to the ropes, only to have him duck under a back elbow. Blanchard stands his ground, waiting for Biff to come back at him. He leaps up, but so does Biff...and the two COLLIDE IN MID-AIR! VENTURA Oh, they butted heads. Atlas and Blanchard both had the same idea in mind. I think Blanchard took the worse of it, Tony. They both cracked heads, but it was Biff Atlas who was coming in full speed ahead. Both men lucky that didn't bust them open. Ned mounts Biff from behind to prevent him from getting any closer to his corner, peppering the back of the neck with forearm smashes. He brings Atlas up to his knees, hammering the side of the face with illegal closed fists. Out of desperation Biff wraps his hands around Ned's neck and rises up, delivering a jawbreaker that buys him enough time to... ...MAKE THE (HOT) TAG! Simon picks up the workload while Ned is down, sprinting all the way across the ring to meet Flex head-on, and gets blasted with a slingshot shoulderblock for his trouble. Ned makes his move as Flex returns to his feet, charging the man known to his mother as George Marcos Phillips with his hands locked together overhead, only to get caught with a powerslam! Flex Phillps cleaning house, hip tossing Singleton to the other side of the ring! Mackenzie climbs up on the apron and is picked up by Flex! "YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!" VENTURA Hey! How dare Flex Phillps put his hands on a lady. Who does he think he is, Terry Taylor and Rick Martel? Fortunately for Mackenzie, the Blonds come to her recuse, drilling Phillps with a pair of knees to the back. Mackie makes a safe landing and quickly exits. The Blonds unleash an offensive assault on Flex, beating him down to the mat before shooting him to the ropes. Flex ducks under a double clothesline, the Blonds momentum taking them to and back off the ropes, giving Biff enough time to come join Flex in mowing down the Blonds with stereo diving shoulderblocks! The force sends Ned rolling out to the floor, where Mackie helps him up while Flex works Simon over in the corner. Biff notices Ned and Mackie together outside and hits the ropes, but Mackie sees him coming and moves Ned out of the way, causing Biff to crash and burn on the arena floor! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!" Inside, Simon counters the FLEX CAPACITATOR spinning sideslam into a DDT. He goes up to the top as Ned does the same on the opposite corner. They leap off at the same time and hit... SCHIAVONE ...the Atomic Blond! ONE... TWO... THREE! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here are your winners, advancing on to the second round... THE BEVERLY HILLS BLLLLOOOOOOOONDSSSSS!!! VENTURA The Blonds move on to face the winner of D*LUX vs. the South Central Militia. SCHIAVONE And we'll have that for you next week, along with Black T vs. the Lone Star Gunslingers. More action still to come. Stay tuned! Edited January 4, 2007 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
