Ed Wood Caulfield 0 Report post Posted January 19, 2007 Courtesy of the OAOAST.com camera crew, we are taken to OAOAST President Anglesault’s office after HeldDOWN~! where "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick are bitching and complaining about the result of the 2 Out Of 3 Falls Match for the HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship. PR’s spray-painted briefcase sits on Anglesault’s desk. PRL and Popick are still perspiring in their wrestling attire, showing that they went straight from the match to ’Sault’s office. We begin with them in mid-complaining. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK This was a miscarriage of JUSTICE! I’ve done my share of rotten things in my lifetime, but I never did what those two...PUNKS did to me and my client tonight! ANGLESAULT Which is...? POPICK ...uh...erm...BEATING ME AND MY CLIENT! ANGLESAULT Oh come on, you gotta be kidding me. POPICK ’Sault, you gotta do me a favour. You gotta grant us a rematch! It’s the only logical conclusion! We were ROBBED tonight! Spanish Flea--Fly---whatever the hell his name is--that first fall SHOULD NOT count! It was a double team move, and as we all know, double team moves ARE NOT LEGAL! Therefore, that first pinfall should really be a disqualification, and since titles can’t change hands on a DQ, we should still be holding the HI-YAH Tag Team Titles right now! "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN That’s right, Popick! POPICK So you see. We were screwed tonight, not to mention we were the last men to hold the titles, therefore, it should be me and my client challenging for the belts again! ANGLESAULT I’m sorry, I don’t think I can do that. I’ve got about 20 different tag teams lined up to take on Heat and Spanish Fly before you guys. So, wait your turn. Popick can’t believe what he’s hearing. Neither can PRL. POPICK ’Sault, are you joking? AS Nope. POPICK ’Sault, come on. I mean, we’ve known each other since the beginning. We’ve been enemies, sure, but, come on, you’ve gotta have SOME respect for me, right? RIGHT!? AS I do, Stephen, but I don’t do personal favours. I’m trying to get the OAOAST back on the right track, and one of those ways is by doing things fair and square. I’ve got teams lining up left and right for a shot at the OAOAST and HI-YAH Tag Team Titles. And since the OAOAST has a reputation of having the best tag team division in the world, I’d like to keep it that way, by giving title shots to the teams that DESERVE them! PRL Oh come on now! What a load of bull! You’re AngleSault! A 2-time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! You’re one of the most notorious men in this business! You did rotten things left and right back in the day! You even tried to destroy this company way back when. Now all of a sudden, you’re nice and sweet? What a crock! ANGLESAULT I’m not denying my past. I’m not proud of some of the things I did, either. But I want to move on. The OAOAST has been through HELL this past year, and I want it to end. That’s why I will NOT be giving you two a rematch, because you DON’T deserve it! Now good day to you! POPICK ’Sault, do you realize who you’re talking to? This man is a future World Heavyweight Champion! You wanna talk about putting the OAOAST on the right track? Then HE’S your guy! HE’S the future of this company! And one of the ways he can prove that he is is by having another shot at getting back what is rightfully his! AS I said no. Now good day to you! AngleSault goes back to reading a newspaper. PR and Popick just stare at the owner of the OAOAST for a few seconds. Then, they walk away. But just as they start walking, Popick motions for PRL to come close to him and whispers something in his left ear. Popick keeps whispering. And whispering. And soon, PRL has an evil smile on his face. Puerto nods his head and laughs. PRL Good idea, Stephen. Good idea! Popick nods his head too, and then motions for PRL to follow him. POPICK Yo, ’Sault! You don’t wanna give me and Ed a shot? That’s fine. But I’m warning you. If you don’t give us a shot at getting back the HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles, we’re going to do something you won’t really like! ANGLESAULT Like what? POPICK Well...we’re....we’re going to sue you! AS Sue me? POPICK Yes, sue you! Anglesault is surprised at this. AS Sue me? Sue me for what? PRL For racial discrimination! AS WHAT!? That’s preposterous! PRL Ooh! Watch what you say, ’Sault! Anything you say CAN be used against you in a court of law! ANGLESAULT Why you little---I’ve heard about all the things you’ve done, but I thought people were just exaggerating! I didn’t realize that you really ARE a horses ass! PRL Horses ass? Why’d you use that particular expression? Is it because I’m Puerto Rican? Huh? Is that it? Huh? You--you think that Puerto Ricans ride on donkey’s? Is that it? AS What? PRL You know, you’re just like everybody else! ALWAYS confusing Mexicans with Puerto Ricans! Hey, boss, PUERTO RICANS ARE NOT THE SAME AS MEXICANS! God! POPICK You see what you’ve done? You’ve done pissed him off! PRL Yeah! Now, I’m gonna sue this gringo for everything he’s worth! Maybe, I’ll get control of the OAOAST after all is said and done! POPICK You might actually get a World Title shot then. PRL Yeah, I just might. Anglesault can’t believe the words that are coming out of Tha Puerto Rican’s mouth. He is absolutely stunned. ANGLESAULT I--I---....Come on now! POPICK Hey P.R., I think I heard Anglesault say back in 2004 that you should be cleaning toilets instead of wrestling in the ring! AS I WAS TALKING ABOUT MARIO LOGAN, YOU DUMBASS! PRL Say, isn’t Mario Hispanic himself? POPICK Why yes, I do believe he is. PRL There we go! More evidence for the jury! AS That had nothing to do with his race! Mario Logan’s an idiot! You know this, and I know this, Popick! POPICK Don’t use your revisionist history on me, ’Sault! I ain’t the WWE and you’re not Vince McMahon! AS Thank God. PRL So when should we start suing Popick? POPICK Oh, how about tomorrow, maybe? PRL That sounds good to me! Can’t wait! POPICK Me either! Anglesault stands up stunned. He tries to think of something to say in this awkward moment. ANGLESAULT Are you serious? PRL Serious as a heart attack, boss. ’Sault thinks this over. He takes a big sigh, and then comes to his decision. ANGLESAULT All right. All right! If it’ll stop a lawsuit...then...you guys will get the first crack at Heat and Fly’s Titles. PRL YES! HA! HA! Thank you Mr. ’Sault! It was pleasure doing business with you! POPICK Yeah! Thanks, "BUDDY"! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! PR and Popick high five each other. They go to leave, when suddenly, barging in through the door comes both members of D*LUX! PR and Popick’s smiles fade. ANGLESAULT Can’t you be bother to knock? PRL What are you two dweebs doing here? It’s too late! We got the first match against Heat and Fly! So nah, nah nah, nah nah! D*LUX are shocked! "TREMENDOUS" TYLER BRYANT Is this true? AS Yes. But ONLY to stop a lawsuit! TYLER Lawsuit? AS It’s a long story. "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE BRAVE Look, Mr. ’Sault, my partner and I have been SCREWED both times we fought these two men! We’ve never gotten a fair fight. Now that there are new HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions, Tag Team Champions we can TRUST, we wanted to know if you could grant us a shot at their belts. PRL It’s not gonna happen, D*SUX, because me and Popick are going to win OUR belts back at the first opportunity we get! TYLER Stay out of this, P.R.! POPICK Puerto’s right. There won’t need to be a D*LUX vs. Heat/Fly match for the Tag Team Titles! Because we’ll only need one match to take our belts back! PRL Hell yeah! TYLER Puerto, stop ripping other wrestlers off! PRL Well stop being in a sissy boyband, Tyler! D*LUX and PR/Popick stand up and get in each other’s faces. Words are exchanged, fingers are pointed. "Yo momma" jokes are told. Finally, to prevent a brawl from breaking out in his office, Anglesault steps in, yelling in that thick New York accent of his. ANGLESAULT ALL RIGHT! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT! PRL (pointing to Tyler) He started it. AS I DON’T CARE WHO STARTED IT! IT’S GOING TO END ONCE AND FOR ALL! D*LUX, PRL, and Popick pay attention to Anglesault. ANGLESAULT Now then, I know that you two, D*LUX, Spanish Fly and Colombian Heat have been at each other’s throats for a few months now. But the six of you have never been in a match together all at the same time. Well, that’s going to change. Because right now, I am making another match for Anglepalooza! It’s going to be Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly defending their HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belts against "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick-- PR/Popick raise their hands in the air. AS (CONT’D) AND D*LUX! PRL WHAT!? AS In a Triple Threat Tag Team Match! This feud is going to end once and for all, and it’s going to end at Anglepalooza on January 28th! This match will be the final confrontation between all six of you! PRL Anglesault? Boss, boobialla! You can’t be serious. AS I’m as serious as a heart attack, Puerto! PRL But I’ve gotta fight FOUR guys instead of two? It’s bad enough I’ve gotta fight Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle DUMBASS, but now I’ve gotta fight the two N*SYNC rejects? Come on! ANGLESAULT Hey, this was inevitable. And besides, YOU’RE the ones who started all of this with what you pulled at November Reign! So now, you’ve got to end it! PRL (whining) But I don’t wanna! AS You will, or else I will SUE YOU for breach of contract! POPICK He’s got us there. PRL (through his teeth) Shut up, Popick. ANGLESAULT So, there we go. Problem solved. January 28th, one team walks out the HI-YAH Tag Team Champions and THAT’S IT! No more feuding! It ends on January 28th! So if I were you, I’d start training right this instant, because you guys have NO idea how much harder a Triple Threat Tag Team Match is compared to a regular tag team match. NO IDEA. Now get the hell out of my office! PRL Oh man! AS I SAID GET OUT! PR and Popick whine and moan, while D*LUX look pretty satisfied with this announcement. Anglesault goes back to reading his newspaper, while P.R./Popick and D*LUX leave his office. PRL is still complaining as he leaves, taking his spray-painted black briefcase with him. PRL Triple Threat Tag Team Match? AWWWWWWW! D*LUX closes the door once they leave. Anglesault grabs a cigar, lights it up, and takes a puff. ANGLESAULT Just another day at the office. Anglesault continues smoking his cigar and reading his newspaper as the segment ends. FADE OUT Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
