Tony149 0 Report post Posted January 28, 2007 Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER The following contest LIVE on AnglePalooza, tag team action scheduled for one fall. Now arriving at the red carpet, accompanied by the Chief Financial Officer of the Enterprise MACKENZIE DECENZO...from Beverly Hills 90210, total combined weight 460 pounds, SIMON SINGLETON and "THE HANDSOME HUSTLER" NED BLANCHARD, THE BEVERLY...HILLS...BLLLLOOOOOOOONDSSSSS!! Mackie works it as she leads the former three-time OAOAST World tag team champions down the aisle, swaggering her hips as men -- and some women -- drool at her feet. COLE What a busy week it'll be for the Beverly Hills Blonds. Tonight it's Los Diablos de Fuego, then D*LUX on Thursday in a second round Anderson Cup bout with a trip to the Conference Finals on the line and perhaps a rematch with Los Diablos if they win and Los Diablos defeat the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew as well. COACH Let's not walk before we can crawl. The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew pulled off the biggest upset in Anderson Cup history... COLE Thanks to help from the Sooner Bruisers. COACH Still, they beat the former World tag team champions, the Heavenly Rockers. Everybody but myself thought Rico and Lucius didn't stand a chance, but they proved everyone...but myself, of course...wrong. The crew places Mackie's director's chair at ringside and everyone takes their places. Humidity's risin' Barometer's getting low According to all sources The street's the place to go Geri Halliwell's vocals booming overhead, Los Diablos prance onto the pink and yellow lit stage bumping and grinding to the music. Then they put their border crossing skills to the test and make a run for it, tossing their sombreros and other accessories aside as they make a full sprint to the ring, catching the Blonds in the middle of removing their silver vests, i.e. off-guard. COLE Los Diablos aren't going to waste anytime. They want them some of the Beverly Hills Blonds right now. COACH Figures. So do all the women. And we all know Los Diablos are women trapped inside men's bodies. How's that for irony? Women trapped inside men's bodies yet they love being inside men. Speaking of trapped, the Blonds rush to remove their vests once they spot Los Diablos racing towards them and get their arms caught in the sleeves! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!" The crowd is smart enough to know the bad predicament the Blonds are in and so do Los Diablos, who slide in and wail away with stinging overhand chops. The sound of flesh meeting flesh echoing throughout the arena as Los Diablos chop the hide off the Blonds chests, which they caress beforehand. Mackenzie can't bear to watch the public molestion of Simon and Ned any longer. She jumps on the apron to show off her "assets". One problem: Los Diablos are gay and thus immune to her charm. Not the referee, however. Nick Patrick ready to jump her bones, but Mackie pushes him away and demands order be restored. COACH Bless her heart, she tried. COLE Having been on the receiving end of many sneak-attacks from the Beverly Hills Blonds, Los Diablos de Fuego have returned the favor and the Enterprise representives are rattled. Rarely do you see Mackenzie DeCenzo behave in the matter she just did and forget something obvious like Los Diablos de Fuego being gay. You can tell they didn't see this coming at all. In fact, I'm willing to bet they took this match for granted. They're looking ahead to Thursday night and their Anderson Cup match against D*LUX. COACH Oh, shut up! It's way too early to write-off the Blonds. See last week's AFC Championship game as proof it's not how you start but how you finish. On their heels the Blonds dig into their bag of tricks and rake the eyes. Finally freed from their own attire, the Blonds whip Los Diablos into the ropes, but too hard. Before they can set for their next move Moraca and Mariachi are already on their way back, so the Blonds leapfrog and turn...right into a pair of armdrags and standing dropkicks! MACKIE Cut! Cut!! The Blonds regroup outside while Mackenzie throws a fit on the floor, chucking her high heels at Los Diablos, which Mariachi puts on and parades around in like the little queen that he is, waving to the people. COLE :lol: COACH There's a surprise. Not! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, their opponents...from sunny Cabo San Lucas, the sexiest tag team in all of Mehico, MARIACHI and MORACCA... LOS DIABLOS DE FFFUUUUUEEEEEGGOOOOOO!!! "YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" MARIACHI :wub: * DINGDINGDING * Though the bell has sounded Ned is perfectly fine delaying the start of the match to confer outside with his partner and manager, much to everyone's chagrin, including the referee. So Mackie hands Nick Patrick a wad of money for the inconvenience and is scolded. COACH Give me a break. Since when did Nick Patrick become a man of integrity? COLE The day he signed a OAOAST contract. COACH Hey, it wasn't until a few years ago the company actually hired lawyers. Anything signed before then is like monopoly money -- worthless. 1... 2... 3... 4... Simon finally enters the squared circle under threat of countout, and is quick to point out the high heels belonging to Mackenzie DeCenzo still being worn by Mariachi, the Diablo who will begin things on his side. Despite a brief protest Mariachi gives in and hands over the shoes, which are returned to Mackenzie who dusts them off on the ring skirt. Now the action is set to begin. Some jaw jacking to start. Singleton letting the flamboyant luchador know what he's up against, poking him in the chest, and Mariachi reciprocates. Simon laughs it off and SLAPS him! COLE Gay or straight, black or white, you don't do that to any man, let alone somebody with a Latin temper. * WHAP * Mariachi returns fire and much more. Overhand chops and forearm smashes to the face. Amidst a war Mariachi still has time for love, kissing Moracca on the cheek to simulate the tag prior to whipping Simon into the ropes. Spinning wheel kick finds its mark, and Los Diablos teach Simon HOMIES HUG~! Ned steps in to save his partner and winds up on the receiving end of a DOUBLE TILT-A-WHIRL FACE FIRST SLAM! As if having their asses handed to them isn't embarrassing enough, it gets worse as Los Diablos feel Simon coming hard from behind (!) and step away to view the lastest Enterprise production and Fox TV special: When Blonds Collide! COLE Ned just landed on the cutting room floor! Singleton staggers towards the center and a Mariachi SHEEP DIP. Mariachi cartwheels his way out of the ring, blowing Mackenzie kisses as Moracca wrings Simon's arm and rubs his hands against his genitals! COACH (sarcastic) Yeah, a slap is much worse than this. Anytime you want me to rub your privates, let me know. COLE I knew you'd finally come a... COACH ... COLE Don't playing games with my heart! Simon circles around as he desperately tries to escape the arm-wringer, swiping at his corner in hopes of creating magic, that of a miracle tag. Ned does everything he can to make it happen too. Holding onto the tag rope Blanchard climbs to the top and leans forward...only to CROTCH HIMSELF ON THE TURNBUCKLE as Mariachi pulls the proverbial rug out from under him by shaking the ropes! NED :o Forced to improvise Simon forearms Moracca hard in the face and lays in with brutal knife-edge chops. Sent in for the ride Moracca counters Singleton's tilt-a-whirl backbreaker into a tornillo armdrag takeover. Simon storms up and at Moracca, and is swept off his feet. Faster than you can say "OAOAST" Moracca leaps off the middle rope and onto Singleton with a legdrop. The cover! ONE... TWO... Kickout. * MUAH * The unorthodox tag is made, and Simon is brought down by a springboard twisting armdrag, his momentum sliding out under the ropes to the floor where he is happy to stay. Until Mariachi fakes diving through the ropes, then it's back in but quickly out as the Video Voyeur decides to let Ned have a stab at it. The cheers and applause from Simon and Mackie drown out by the boos from the fans. As is the trend, Los Diablos are disrespected by their opponent(s). The Handsome Hustler points his finger at Mariachi's face in righteous indignation...and has it sucked! Ned's like, "Oh, hell no!" and unloads with heavy rights. Mariachi retaliates and both men start exchanging chops. Knee to the midsection stops Mariachi in his tracks. Blanchard shoots him off to the far side and drives the back of the elbow into the heart, then down onto the sternum from the second rope! ONE... TWO... Kickout. Blanchard looks to slam Mariachi, but he's rolled up in a small package! ONE.. TWO... Reversed. ONE... TWO... Mariachi kicks out and catches Ned in a victory roll. ONE... TWO... Kickout. Blanchard attempts a sunset flip...but Mariachi rolls through and grapevines the legs, struggling to turn the Handsome Hustler onto his stomach as he puts up a fight. COLE Mariachi trying for Escorpión, or Scorpion Deathlock to all our American fans... COACH Or Sharpshooter to our Canadian fans. COLE (CONT'D) ...but Ned fends him off, jabbing the thumb into the eye. Blanchard clubs him to the mat and tags Simon, who waits for his cue while Ned places Mariachi in a double chicken-wing. Trapped in no man's land Mariachi grinds his backside against Ned's genitals, creepy him out long enough to escape as Simon springboards off the top and clotheslines his own partner! COACH What a dirty-handed trick that was. Mariachi played to every red blooded American male's fear. He oughta be ashamed of himself. COLE Well, some would say you'd need a psychological edge to be succesful in wrestling. COACH Explioting a man's deepest, darkest fear shouldn't be one of those tools. Simon and Mackie can't believe it. Mackenzie cries foul when Mariachi sneaks up behind the Video Voyeur and dropkicks him over the top to the floor! And while Mariachi is kept at bay, Moracca scrambles around the ring and cannonballs himself off the apron onto Simon below! Absolutely livid Mackie gets herself tossed after continuing to argue with referee Nick Patrick. The fans are happy to see it but not Simon and Ned, who pick up where Mackenzie left off and pay for it in the form of HANDSPRING CORKSCREW PLANCHAS!! "YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" The fans are loud and proud, as are Los Diablos de Fuego. They toss Simon back in and hop on the apron. Moracca leaping to the top rope while Mariachi scales the turnbuckles. Los Diablos hit a SPRINGBOARD FAMEASSER and FROG SPLASH in succession! ONE... TWO... THR-- NO!! Count broken up by Blanchard. Pleading ignorance, Ned "apologizes" for his actions. Nick Patrick doesn't buy it and neither does Moracca, who's about to take care of business when he's restrained by the referee, allowing for some heel shenanigans as Ned rakes Mariachi's eyes and throws him outside. There he slams Mariachi on the floor, making him regret countering his earlier attempt, and WHIPS him with his own RHINESTONE BELT! COACH Careful. He might like that. COLE Will you stop! The referee turns around the moment Ned loses the belt and places Mariachi on the apron. Of course he denies any wrongdoing when questioned, crossing his fingers behind his back in the process. The tag is made, and Isiah Washington's favorite wrestler suplexes Mariachi inside. The cover. ONE... TWO... Kickout! Ned smashes Mariachi into the top turnbuckle in the Blonds corner and hammers away, driving the shoulder into the midsection before stomping a mudhole and walking it dry. Then steps aside at the referee's request to allow Mariachi out. Nick Patrick having forgotten just which corner Mariachi's in, as Simon CHOKES him with the belt! COLE Behind you, Nick. Damnit! The Handsome Hustler is sure to capture the moment on his imaginary camera phone, which he shows off to Simon before re-focusing his attention on Mariachi, and eats a right hand. Again. And again. Mariachi fighting his way out of enemy terrority, crawling between Ned's legs to reach his corner, but the speedy Simon Singleton is there to cut off the tag. Moracca is forced to be restrain again as the Blonds drag Mariachi back to their corner and show him how straight guys tag team, beating him to a not-so-bloody pulp. COACH Haha. There you go. Show him how it's done, fellas. Although it might be a hate crime in more than one state. COLE I'm sure Theodore would be able to place a few calls on their behave. You know, pay a few people off here and there. COLE Watch your tone, or they'll have a case against you for defamation of character. Following an illegal switch, Simon slams Mariachi and connects off the top with a big elbow. ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! Mariachi is stood up and dropkicked square in the face. ONE... TWO... Mariachi's kicks out again. For his effort he's reward with forearm shots to the face, then sent for a ride into the far corner, tailed from behind by Simon who's unable to react fast enough when Mariachi's leaps off the second rope and brings him down in a sunset flip! ONE... TWO... TH-- KICKOUT! One step ahead of Mariachi, Blanchard knocks Moracca off the apron before Los Diablos even have a chance at making the tag. Ned reminds everyone of that as he returns to the corner pointing at his head. Another exchange by the Blonds, a proper tag this time around. Simon firing Mariachi off into the ropes and down with a drop toehold as Ned plants the point of the elbow across the neck. ONE... TWO... But only two. The Blonds a half-a-count away from winning the match. Gutwrench suplex and a beauty. Ned looking to pick up steam as he hits the ropes and drops the knee...but it's caught and turned into a FIGURE-4 LEGLOCK! COLE How devastating a loss would this be for the Enterprise if Mariachi gets Ned to submit. COACH Ned Blanchard isn't Roberto Duran, Mikey. He isn't a quit. COLE Ro--Roberto Duran? Who are you, the Coach or JBL? I mean, Roberto Duran? Wow. Simon and Moracca both enter to prevent the other from interfering, with Moracca swatting down Simon's attempted dropkick to place him in an INDIAN DEATHLOCK! COLE Now both Blonds are trapped, and there's no Mackenzie DeCenzo to help bail them out! Keeping a close eye on the situation is Nick Patrick. And what a task it is. Checking for a submission on one side, counting both men out on the other. Moracca breaks the Indian deathlock to avoid a disqualification. They want to win badly, whereas the Blonds are just lookinh to survive. Patrick escorts Moracca to the corner, leaving Simon free to gouge Mariachi in the eyes. Once he reaches his corner Ned looks to tag, but Simon can barely stand. Panic sets in as the Blonds spot Mariachi nearing his corner. Blanchard forced to suck it up in order to prevent the tag, bad limp and all. He closes in and... "YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" ...throws his hands up as the tag is made! A devilish smile comes across Moracca's face as he knows he has Ned right where he wants him. Spring fresh from spending all that time on the apron, Moracca goes off like he hasn't had sex for six months, ravaging the Handsome Hustler in the corner with shots to the face. ONE... TWO... THREE... MORACCA :huh: UNO... DOS... TRES... CUATRO... CINCO... SEIS... SIETE... OCHO... NUEVE... Moracca pauses to peform a pelvic thrust, adding insult to injury. DIEZ! Moving at a snail's pace, Simon sneaks up from behind, and gets leveled by a dropkick. The roar of the crowd making Moracca feeling all tingly inside. * THUD * MORACCA :D COLE Oh, my! COACH You don't think... COLE Yes, I do. Stinkface! Blanchard gets a faceful of ass. He crawls on all fours to the center of the ring, coughing and wheezing. Moracca actually helping the Handsome Hustler to his feet...to lift him up in the pumphandle and hit the sideslam. COLE Slippery When Wet! ONE... TWO... THREE! NO!! Saved by Simon. Mariachi returns to the mix and all hell breaks loose. Nick Patrick tries to separate the two but gets caught with an accidental elbow. As Mariachi checks on the referee, Simon tosses him outside...but the flaming luchador skins the cat and takes the Video Voyeur out with him in a headscissors. Inside, Moracca signals for the piledriver. Which is easier said than done. Having spent most of his strength on the pumphandle, Moracca struggles to take Ned up and decides against it. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH What are they booing for? COLE They wanna see Blanchard spiked on his head. I kinda do too to be quite honest. Urged on by the crowd Moracca is determinded to give the people what they want. Suddenly, a MUSCULAR BLACK MAN appears on the apron and hits Moracca with a BLOCKBUSTER! COLE No, damnit! COACH I don't know where, but I swear I've seen this guy before. The man with a black shirt reading "CPA" places Ned on top for the cover just as the referee shakes off the cobwebs. ONE... TWO... THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime BUFFER Here are your winners, the BEVERLY HILLS BLLLLOOOOOOOONDSSSSS!! Barely able to stand, the Blonds are carried backstage by the newest member of the Enterprise. COLE Souvabitch! COACH (laughs) Brilliant. COLE The Enterprise have done it again. Unbelievable. Los Diablos de Fuego had the match won. What I wanna know is, who was that man. Somebody his size shouldn't be able to do what he did. COACH In the words of Theodore Moneymaker, money talks. The Enterprise only hire the best. COLE Right now let's... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
