HD: TWO Landon promos

[King Cucaracha 0]

Fashionably late to the party, Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix has JUST arrived in the arena with bags in hand and Megan Skye in tow. Maddix stops at the exit of the parking lot and takes a couple of nervous looks around, glancing over his shoulder and finding Megan, arms folded, waiting for her man to move.

MADDIX
Just... stick with me. We'll be fine.

And with that, Maddix and Megan enter the arena...



...to be SURROUNDED...


...by security. After being briefly startled at the group of bodies waiting on him, Landon breathes a sigh of relief.

MADDIX
Well, I didn't expect this. I mean, I know now that I'm a two-time Clusterfuck winner that my star has risen a little, but this still seems a tad excessive.

HEAD OF SECURITY
Mr. Maddix, we're here to guide you to Mr. AngleSault's office.

MADDIX
'Mister' AngleSault? What's his first name?

HEAD OF SECURITY
...

MADDIX
Nevermind. So, what are we waiting for?

What we're waiting for is the presence of one OAOAST superstar in front of the group of security, arms folded. Landon cowers a little until he realises who it is. Todd Cortez, smirking a little as Maddix calls the security off for a moment.

CORTEZ
What's with the entourage?

MADDIX
Well, you know, stardom is demanding. Now that I'm a two-time Clusterfuck winner, they figured I needed more of a security pre...

CORTEZ
Yeah, yeah. You wanted to talk?

MADDIX
Indeed I did. Now, as you know, I won the Clusterfuck last week, for the second time. So, I wanted to clear the air between us after what happened at AnglePalooza. You and me, in the Lethal Rumble, we... well, we traded a few shots. Spirit of competition and all that. You wanted to win, so did I. Completely understandable. But, now that the dust has settled and the Lethal Rumble is in the past I feel it's neccessary to make it clear, us going at it was nothing personal. It was just a heat of the moment mistake. After all, you paid for it, because if you hadn't fed me to Brock Lesna...

CORTEZ
Ausstin.

MADDIX
Right, right, that guy. Anyway, if you hadn't fed me to Brock, he wouldn't have eliminated you. And I might have won the whole Rumble. But again, Clusterfuck winner, so it doesn't really matter anymore. I think we can agree, we should just forget about it and move on. Infact, I was thinking... what have you got planned for AngleMania.

Todd shrugs his shoulders.

MADDIX
Well, seeing as I can become the first-ever SWF and OAOAST World Champion in history just yet, how about you and me make history and become the first team in history to win the SWF and OAOAST World Tag Team Titles. I hear they've got a couple of broads holding the belts. Should be a sinch.

In the background, Megan suddenly scowls a little.

CORTEZ
You realise that the Anderson Cup winners get a title shot at AngleMania, right?

MADDIX
Oh. Really?

CORTEZ
Really.

MADDIX
Oh. There's so many frikkin' tournaments around here, I don't know what they're all for. Actually, I think I'm in one of them... or maybe a couple of them, I don't know.

As Maddix tries to rack his memory, Cortez begins to wonder why he bothered searching Landon out in the first place.

MADDIX
Okay then, what about those Japanese titles?

CORTEZ
HI-YAH?

Maddix suddenly ducks for cover, much to the confusion of Todd.

MADDIX
Jesus! What the hell are you doing!?

CORTEZ
Nothin'. That's who own the belts, HI-YAH...

Landon goes ducking from another non-existant karate chop, leaving Cortez wondering why he bothered searching Landon out in the first place. Again. Luckily, he's got Megan to explain, whispering in her man's ear what Cortez is actually trying to say, causing him to burst into laughter.

MADDIX
What!? Get away with ya, you daft racist! You're ribbing me, right?

CORTEZ
No. That's the company's name, HI-YAH. Seriously.

MADDIX
Wow. That's... unfortunate. To say the least. *nervously scratches neck* Well, in that case, we'll go after them. First team to ever win the SWF and the HIIIIIII-YAAAH *karate chop* Tag Team Titles. Doesn't sound quite so impressive, but beggars can't be choosers I suppose. What do you say?

The obvious answer would be no. But Todd actually DOESN'T have anything planned for AngleMania and with Bruce Blank gone, any strength in numbers is better than none. Even if it is Landon Maddix.

CORTEZ
I'll think about.

MADDIX
That's the spirit! (Cortez abruptly walks off) Okay! See ya around buddy!

Cortez just kinda grunts, Landon shrugging his shoulders as the security guards re-assemble and begin to lead him away towards AngleSault's office as we go back to the ring.

[King Cucaracha 0]

[i]*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!*[/i]

ANGLESAULT
It's open.

The door of our-esteemed company namesake opens and the posse of security guards unload Landon Maddix into the office. Maddix, for some reason, wishes them a good day all friendly like before directing his attentions to AngleSault. Unlike his 'guest' however, AngleSault is clearly not feeling quite so cheery tonight.

MADDIX
Hey boss!

ANGLESAULT
Cut the crap Landon, I'm not in the mood.

MADDIX
Excuse me? Forgive me for being good mood.

ANGLESAULT
Good mood, huh?

MADDIX
[i]Great[/i] mood. Life is good. I don't know if you know or not, but I won the SWF Clusterfuck on Thursday night, for the second time in my career. A feat nobody's ever managed in their career before me, I might add. My new endorsement deal with Pepsi Max just came through. Not to mention, it's my birthday in seven days.

ANGLESAULT
How ironic.

Landon eyes narrow a little.

ANGLESAULT
Make the most of your good mood for the next few seconds, because I've got a feeling it's not gonna last much longer. See, I don't care about what you did in the SWF. I hear that Clusterfuck is a big deal, so obviously you're pleased about winning it again. But, I'm more concerned with OAOAST matters. Especially when someone tries to HANG my marquee superstar!

MADDIX
I don't recall ever being hung... well, besides the obvious.

Landon winks at Megan, who giggles a little before AngleSault's glare changes their mood abruptly.

ANGLESAULT
This isn't a joking matter. You didn't just try and cost Zack Malibu his career, you tried to kill the guy. And I'm not talking the phony baloney, couple of chair-shots to the head and a table bump and 'oh my god, he could be broken in half'. I'm talking legitimate attempted murder. Attempted decapitation! Zack Malibu or not, it doesn't matter. I'm not going to tolerate that kind of behaviour from anyone on my roster. Do you realise how many complaints were filed after the show went off the air? How many refunds I've had to hand out to parents with tramautised kids on the way out the doors? I've been fending off police questions ever since last Sunday.

MADDIX
Listen, I was ju...

ANGLESAULT
You were just following Blank's orders. I understand that Landon, you wanted to make up for losing War Games and you though that'd do the job, saving his career. That doesn't excuse what you did. Not in my eyes. Blank is dealt with, now I've got to deal with you.

MADDIX
Deal with me?

ANGLESAULT
Firing you isn't really an option. You not being the ring-leader in all this, I'm sure you've got a get-out clause to try and take us to court with. Normally, I'd simply suspend you, but with you in the main events week in and week out with the SWF, I don't know how much of an effect that'll really have. So, I decided I'd make your life a living hell...

MADDIX
Whoa, is that really neccess...

ANGLESAULT
...except, I'm not that kind of an 'authority figure'. I believe on doing things the fair way. So, I'm going to settle for fining you for the damage you've done to the image of the OAOAST. My laywers will work out a fee within due course. And in the meantime, I'm not one for 'revenge', rather for what's right. And there's nothing wrong with letting someone else get some revenge on you. So, next week on HeldDOWN~!, you'll be celebrating your birthday... by taking on CABOOSE!!

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Surprisingly, Landon doesn't seem that concerned. More... blank.

MADDIX
Who?

ANGLESAULT
Who!? Caboose! The former HeldDOWN~! commentator.

MADDIX
...

ANGLESAULT
The guy you and The Wildcards ran out of the OAOAST temporarily.

MADDIX
...

ANGLESAULT
The guy who hit you with a cricket bat at AnglePalooza.

MADDIX
:O

Theeere we go!

ANGLESAULT
It's probably a good job that's how you recognise him too. You'll be more prepared for the bat when it comes, because that match is gonna be NO DISQUALIFICATIONS!! Now, get out of my sight.

"YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Landon's jaw drops at that one, looking to Megan who's also speechless. Apparantly done, AS goes back to his paperwork, directing Landon to the door. And the SWF's Power Couple slowly leave, Landon mumbling to himself something about how 'they don't play cricket in Spain' as Megan tries to re-assure her man.

COLE
Holy cow! 'Boose is back, next week and he'll be taking on Landon Maddix right here on HeldDOWN~! And with No Disqualifications no less! What a huge main event, announced for next week's show!

COACH
Does that mean he'll be back commentating?

COLE
I can only hope.

COACH
What's that supposed to mean?

COLE
...MORE! NEXT!