KingPK 0 Report post Posted March 23, 2007 BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! B-O-O-M~! COLE We are just TEN DAYS away from the biggest AngleMania since the last one! COACH Hey, if the OAOAST is anything, we're honest. COLE Indeed. Sacramento, California is the home of HeldDOWN on this first week of spring, so put your brackets away for a bit and join us. COACH Damn Niagra! *Shakes fist* COLE As we're going to pound repeatedly into your skull until you pry open that wallet and give us your money, AngleMania VI is almost upon us. The card is still taking shape and we will find out one match tonight as the semifinals of the X-Title tournament take place. COACH The Lightning Crew looks to be well represented as Tha Puerto Rican and Vitamin X are ready to take their rightful places in the finals. COLE They DO have good competition tonight, Coach. Reject and the cinderella Dance Dance Dragon to be specific. Also tonight, the 24/7 Title is on the line as Bohemoth defends against former.... COACH For what, two days? COLE Former X-Title holder Jamie O' Hara. Both of these men are entered in the Money in the Bank battle royal at AngleMania, but we'll touch on that later. Right now, we've got Cowboy Bill Watts in the ring. COACH Oh great, another reason to hate what Drek did to Anglesault. COLE He's got a special announcement to make, so let's take it up to him. We cut to the ring where Watts stands, waiting for his cue. Getting it, he puts the microphone he has in his hand to his lips. WATTS How y'all doin' tonight Sacramento? "YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" WATTS Everybody excited for AngleMania? "YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" WATTS Everybody happy to see ol' Cowboy here with you? *Crickets chirp* COACH WATTS I am here representing OAOAST management in the place of Mr. Anglesault, who is still in recovery. At this time, I'd like to ask James Riggs to come to the ring, because we've got something to talk about. Come on out here, son. Dani California hits over the PA and James Riggs and Staci walk through the entrance doors. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" COLE What's this all about? COACH James said he was entering the battle royal at AngleMania, so perhaps everyone else forefitted and Watts is going to declare him the winner right now? COLE (sarcastically) Yeah, that's it. COACH See? I knew you and I thought the same way! Riggs steps into the ring and shakes hands with Watts. Staci retrieves another mic for him and goes to hand it over, but Watts puts up his hand. WATTS I'm sorry, little lady, but I am going to do most of the talking right now. Mr. Riggs, I understand that, last week, you expressed a desire to enter the Money in the Bank battle royal that will take place at AngleMania. Is that right? RIGGS Yeah, that's right. And I'm gonna..... WATTS (interrupting) All I wanted was a yes or no answer. Well, Mr. Riggs, I am here to officially DENY your request and inform you of your scheduled AngleMania plans. Both Riggs' jaws drop as the crowd cheers. COACH What? He can't do that! COLE He's the boss. WATTS I'm sure you want an explanation, so I will give you one. Two weeks ago, you were scheduled to have a match with one James Wolfenstein, but then (gesturing to the Angletron) this happened. We cut to the 'Tron which shows the grainy security camera footage of Gibraltar attacking Wolfenstein in the back before the show that night. Riggs looks quizically at Watts. RIGGS So? WATTS You thought that footage would absolve you of any blame in that attack. However, earlier this week, we received another piece of footage that everyone watching might be interested in. The 'Tron comes to life again and this time shows Josh Matthews standing in front of a HD backdrop, apparently doing a pretaped segment. JOSH Ok, everything ready? CAMERAMAN Yep. JOSH Three....two.... *SLAM* The sound of a slamming door is heard which startles both of them. Josh looks to his left, as does the camera. The picture shows from afar an angry James Riggs and Staci exiting Anglesault's office. They look around as the camera zooms in for a closer look and turn to walk away. JOSH Follow em' to their locker room. I want to talk with them about whatever happened in there. The picture freezes then. WATTS So that we don't bore everyone with frivolous details, let's pick things up a few minutes later. Now we are outside the arena, as Riggs and Staci are walking towards their car. CAMERAMAN What the hell are we still following them for? JOSH I don't want someone like Maria getting the facetime from this. Wait, hide! The camera bounces as they hide behind an equipment truck parked nearby. Riggs and Staci wait by their car for a moment before a pair of figures emerge from the opposite direction. The figures of Gibraltar and St. Andrew. They look around to make sure nobody sees them before Riggs unlocks his door, reaches into the car, and pulls out an envelope which he hands over to St. Andrew. The camera zooms as Andrew opens it and pulls out what looks like a wad of cash, which he counts before nodding to Riggs. All four shake hands as Josh looks into the camera. JOSH I think we should get the hell out of here. The picture turns to static as we go back to the ring and a wide-eyed Riggs and Staci. COLE Of all the dispicable things..... RIGGS That.....that doesn't prove a damn thing. A DAMN thing. Gibraltar needed a loan, so I gave him a few bucks. That's ALL it was. WATTS Mr. Riggs, that defense would have worked if we didn't confront Gibraltar and St. Andrew about this first and gotten the whole story from them. It's amazing what a possible one year suspension and threat of criminal charges can do. (As Riggs begins to protest) You are finished talking now, James. Here's the deal. We could suspend you for this. We could even fire you. But we aren't doing that. Instead, you will be participating at AngleMania. Just not in the battle royal. The crowd buzzes, anticipating what's next. WATTS Let me introduce to you....your AngleMania opponent. Move Bitch hits. "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" COACH Oh...no. COLE Oh yes! James Wolfenstein storms down the aisle and into the ring, jumping on Riggs and slugging away on him before grabbing him by the scruff of the neck and tights and tossing him like a javelin over the top rope and to the floor. Staci rushes over to him and the pair take off up the ramp as Watts restrains Wolfenstein in the ring as Move Bitch plays again. COLE James Wolfenstein is gonna get him some in Toronto. It's Riggs versus Wolfenstein at AngleMania!! Oh MY!!!! The camera cuts to the backstage area, where Vitamin X is standing by, talking with “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican. Both men are smiling as they speak. The crowd boos loudly the moment they are shown on the AngleTron. “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN So, here we are! In the Final Four of the tournament! Can you believe it? One of us might become the OAOAST X-Division Champion in two weeks at AngleMania VI! VITAMIN X Yeah, P, it’s fantastic! There’s a 50/50 chance that one of us might walk out of AngleMania VI with the X-Division Championship wrapped around our waists. This is a great moment for The Lightning Crew! PRL I know it! I know it, X! But listen, there’s no hard feelings. If it comes down to you and me at AngleMania on April 1st, I just want to let you know that anything I do during that match is NOT personal. It’s just business. So, if I do some things I’m not proud of…well…try to understand, I’m doing this to win the X-Division Title! So don’t be mad if you lose. Okay? VITAMIN X Okay, P.R. But you have to promise me that you won’t be upset if I do things I’M not proud of at AngleMania. Because, I want to win the X-Division Championship just as bad as you do! Maybe even more! PRL (surprised) Yeah…well…well…err….umm…I know what you mean! Hey, what if Caboose shows up tonight? VITAMIN X If Caboose shows up tonight...then he'll get another beatdown. Simple as that! PRL Heh. I like the way you think! That's why I'm glad you're the Second-In-Command of The Lightning Crew! You do The Lightning Crew proud! You do ME proud Good luck, X! VITAMIN X Good luck, boss! PRL puts his right hand out. Vitamin X looks at the hand for a second, and then shakes it. PR and VX smile at each other. PRL May the best man win! VX You’re right. May the best man win! PRL and Vitamin X continue shaking each others hands. They stare at each other some more while still shaking hands. The crowd boos loudly. COLE The X-Divsion tournament semifinals are coming up later in the show. More after this! Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted March 23, 2007 We return to see James Riggs and Staci with bags in hand, making a beeline to the exit. Riggs gives an evil stare at the cameraman following them. WATTS James! Just a minute! We see Bill Watts powerwalking up towards them. RIGGS Screw you! I'm not staying in the same building as that MADMAN until AngleMania. WATTS That's going to be hard because he's involved in your plans for next week's HeldDOWN. The pair stop in their tracks. RIGGS What did you say? WATTS As further punishment, I am putting you in a "warmup" match, if you will. Next week, you will go one-on-one with your new "buisness partner"....Gibraltar. "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" RIGGS WHAT? WATTS You heard me. Oh, and the special referee for that match will be James Wolfenstein. STACI This is ridiculous!! WATTS That may be so, but it's my decision. Now, you are not needed anymore tonight, so you are free to leave. Oh, one final word of advice: if you or Gibraltar lay a finger or even threaten Josh Matthews or that cameraman....I'll throw you out of this company on your asses myself. Enjoy the rest of your night. * DINGDINGDING * "Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime" BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Now arriving on the red carpet, alongside the Chief Financial Officer of the Enterprise MACKENZIE DECENZO and their bodyguard Christopher Patrick Allen, otherwise known as CPA...from Beverly Hills 90210, at a total combine weight of 460 pounds, here are SIMON SINGLETON and NED BLANCHARD...THE BEVERLY HILLS BLLLLOOOOOOOONDESSSSS!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"' The crowd voices their displeasure by hurling insults and popcorn at the blond bombshells, causing Mackenzie to seek shelter under the massive arms of the Enterprise Director of Security CPA. The Blondes take it as well as they dish it, pointing at the star on the back of their trunks to let the fans know what they think of their opinion. COACH Listen to this ovation! (imitates crowd noise) The Blonds are popular wherever they go. COLE They're popular to boo. Simon Singleton and Ned Blanchard aren't America's idols, nor are they the world's idols for that matter. But on Sunday night, April 1st they'll square off against a duo that's really popular, the objects of every teenage girls obsession, D*LUX for the HI-YAH tag team titles. Both teams familiar with each other as they have done battle in the past, trading the HI-YAH championship last year. COACH Hey, how about the way that match was booked, huh? With Jade all but begging Ned to be his next conquest. COLE What!? COACH Come on, Mikey. It was pretty obvious. The girl was drooling all over him. She couldn't wait to accept his AngleMania match proposal. Heck, she can't wait to accept his marriage proposal either. Unfortunately for her, the Ned-Man isn't a one woman guy. Although I'm sure he'd be more than willing to comfort her at night. As the Blonds hand their silver vests to the ring attendant... "You say it’s urgent Make it fast, make it urgent Do it quick, do it urgent Gotta rush, make it urgent" ..."Urgent" by Foreigner is cued up. The jeers turn to cheers as the do-gooder tag team of Rescue 911 sprint to the ring and rid the area of the Blonds, but not CPA, he leaves on his own accord. BUFFER Their opponents, from the OAOAST First Responders Unit...EMT TIM CASH, OFFICER TANGO BOSLEY...RESCUE 911~! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" From one collective roar to that only of the females in attendance as Tango and Cash liberate the clothing on their torsos to reveal their chiseled physiques. COLE Get a load of them. Are Rescue 911 in shape, or what? Wow! The Blonds aren't too impressed, particularly Simon who's feeling adventous tonight by wanting him some of Officer Bosley, despite the size disadvantage. * DINGDINGDING * The bell sounds and it will be Simon Singleton and Officer Tango Bosley to start. The Video Voyeur promising his associates he'll chop Bosley down to size. But it's the Bos who gains the upper hand right off the bat, grabbing a side headlock out of a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Singleton tries pulling the hair but the referee is there to stop him, so he lands a couple of forearm shots to the ribs and shoves Tango into the ropes...only to be leveled by a shoulder tackle! Simon remains flat as Bosley hits the far side and hops across, ducking leapfrog on the rebound and halting to perfectly time an arm drag takeover as Singleton turns. Scoop and a slam, followed by a hip toss and finally a beautifully executed roundhouse kick flush to the jaw! And Simon says no more, retreating to his corner for the tag. COLE Rescue 911 taking it to the Blonds in the early going of this contest live on TSM. We're happy to have you with us wherever you may be this Thursday night in March. 10 days away from the biggest night in our industry, AngleMania VI. Chants of "9-1-1" echo throughout Arco Arena as the Handsome Hustler enters. He saw what Bosley did to Simon and wants no part of it, at least not yet, so he summons EMT Tim. The EMT gladly accepts Ned's challenge and steps in, locking horns with him in the center of the ring, and Blanchard drives the knee into the midsection! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" BLANCHARD Reeling against the ropes from a series of roundhouse rights, Tim is whipped across the ring, but he ducks a swinging back elbow and catches the Handsome Hustler on the way back with a SPINNING WHEEL KICK! ONE... No, kick out at one. Ned's way of saying it's going to take a lot more than that to put his shoulders on the mat for three seconds. Blanchard struggles to maintain his balance as EMT Tim hammers away, smashing his face into the turnbuckle. Following the tag, Tim fires Bosley inside, wiping out Ned with a SLINGSHOT CROSSBODY!! COLE We have a major upset on our hands! ONE... TWO... THREE-- NO!! The pin is broken up by Simon, who receives a right cross from EMT Tim for his trouble. Senior official Earl Hebner quick to restrain the public servant, which allows for some illegal double-teaming on the part of the Beverly Hills Blonds. They set Bosley up for the Double Feature Flapjack, but he floats over the top and clotheslines them both! COACH The Blonds aren't into this match at all. Rescue 911 clearly caught them thinking ahead to their HI-YAH tag title bout at AngleMania VI. I've never seen them so careless. Neither has Mackenzie, who berates her team for a lack of effort, screaming at them to fight. Once again the legal man, EMT Tim drills Blanchard with a MISSLE DROPKICK! ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! Running high on adrenaline and not drugs, Tim rams Ned into the top turnbuckle again, then climbs onto the middle rope and repeatedly slams his fist into the face of the Handsome Hustler. 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... Blanchard grabs hold of Tim and delivers an atomic drop...but Tim blocks it and connects with a BACKBRAIN WHEEL KICK! ONE... TWO... THR-- KICKOUT! Rescue 911 with yet another tag. Officer Bosley places Ned in a front face lock and lifts him up for some variation of a suplex, but Blanchard is able to slip out and hit a desperation back suplex! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH That sucked the air out of the building. COLE It most certainly did. The fans were ready to celebrate a Rescue 911 win and a Beverly Hills Blonds loss. Simon cheers Ned on as Mackie directs him to their corner, leading to the tag. The Video Voyeur gets a little payback for earlier, snapping Bosley over with a swinging neckbreaker! The cover! ONE... TWO... But only two. Simon protests the count before wrapping his hands around Bosley's throat, forcing Earl Hebner to physically remove him after refusing to break the choke. COLE The referee being very lenient here. He could have easily disqualified Singleton for not abiding by the rules. COACH It's about time somebody gave Officer Bosley a taste of his own medicine. Maybe he'll think twice next time he tries to choke somebody out for the win. Simon introduces Bosley to the turnbuckle, and then unloads with a barrage of forearm smashes and knife-edge chops to rattle the officer in the corner. The Blonds capitalize with a pair of double-team maneuvers off a series of quick tags. First a drop toehold that ends with Ned dropping the point of the elbow across the back of the head, then a modified version of a Blonds trademark, the Rocket Launcher...except Ned SLAMS Simon off the top and onto Bosley below! COLE Oh, my! Almost like a swanton bomb there. Here's the cover! ONE... TWO... NO!! Tim breaks up the pin. Ned returns to action looking to put Bosley away, slamming him mid-ring. To the top he goes, but Bosley puts the foot up and Blanchard eats nothing but boot on the way down! COACH What was that? COLE A boot to the face. COACH I know that, stupid. I mean what was Ned trying to do there? He isn't known for his high-flying skills. As Ned agonizes on the canvas, Bosley crawls towards the corner and Tim. Mackie and Simon begin to panic when it becomes clear Rescue 911 will make the tag, so Singleton goes in to stop it...but is too late! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" SIMON After the initial shock wears off Simon takes a swing, but misses, and gets wasted by a wicked release German suplex. Ned clubs Tim from behind and unloads with all his might. Just when it seems the Blonds are back in control, Tim escapes Ned's Slingshot Suplex and hits a T-Bone! ONE... TWO... SAVE BY SIMON! Officer Bosley gets in on the act and a pier-six breaks out, with Rescue 911 getting the best of it. They pair off with the Blonds in separate corners and shoot him in towards each other, but Simon counters Tim's whip, sending him into the arms of Ned Blanchard for a STUN GUN!! COACH He got all of that. Simon rakes Bosley's eyes and leaves for him Ned, who throws him over the top, so he can make the cover. ONE... TWO... THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here are your winners...THE BEVERLY HILLS BLLLLOOOOOOOONDESSSSS!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"' "Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime" COLE Simon and Ned able to recover from a shaky start to pick up the win here tonight on HeldDOWN~!Right now, standing by with two of the participants in the Sin City street fight next Sunday night at AngleMania VI, "Mean" Gene Okerlund. To the backstage area we go, inside the Heavenly Rockers dressing room to be more specific. There, as stated, the Hall of Fame broadcaster stands alongside the greatest rock 'n' wrestling band of all-time. Logan Mann pacing in and out of camera view, fists clinched, teeth gritted, his eyes shielded by a pair of expensive sunglasses. To the backstage area we go, inside the Heavenly Rockers dressing room to be more specific. There, as stated, the Hall of Fame broadcaster stands alongside the greatest rock 'n' wrestling band of all-time. Logan Mann pacing in and out of camera view, fists clinched, teeth gritted, his eyes shielded by a pair of expensive sunglasses. OKERLUND 10 nights from now my guests at this time will meet the Sooner Bruisers in a Sin City street fight live on pay-per-view at AngleMania VI to finally settle their differences once and for all, with the loser having to leave town for 90 days. Synth and Logan, your thoughts heading into what is arguably the biggest match of your careers. LOGAN Far greater than any championship bout the Heavenly Rockers have been in, "Mean"Gene Okerlund... (removes sunglasses; wide-eyed and angry) ...because it's PERSONAL! Ask Zack Malibu what happens when somebody messes with your family. YOU LOSE CONTROL!! People wonder what's become of you. Vengeance runs through your mind 24/7. It's an unhealthy place to be, but Synth and I have been there before...and we like it! Takes us back to the neighborhood, where you had to find a way to survive the hardships of life. We found our way through music, eventually leading to a contract with Arista Records and our first encounter with a woman by the name of Holly-Wood. "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" OKERLUND They love her here in Sacramento, as they do all over the world. LOGAN I love her, too, because she's my wife. I tap that every night. And we'll be tap dancing on you, Sooner Bruisers, at AngleMania VI. Sin City street fight, our specialty. Never lost one in our lives, and we don't plan on doing so anytime so. Prepare for the worst and expect a million times that. The Heavenly Rockers are gonna rock the house at the biggest show of the year sayeth Logan Usher Mann! SYNTH As a special bonus, Mann and the Synthmeister are gonna give you suckas a sneak preview of what's to come next week as we take on Moneybags and Blowhard, a/k/a Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright. They got the Chicks to worry wit at AM, but they got us in 7. Now ya'll muthafuckers deal wit dat. OKERLUND I think they're ready. Now back to the ring. *KA-CHING~!* "COME AND TAKE YOUR VITAMIN X!" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys is greeted with the expected boos from the Sacramento crowd as the lights dim. Dollar signs superimpose over the aisleway as everybody's favourite Financial Consultant (which isn't saying much, nobody likes finance guys) comes shuffling through the entrance doors. Bobbing his head to the beat of his own tune, Vitamin X grins from ear to ear as Princess Stacey follows him out. The Princess holds her pinky finger aloft to the crowd, as X continues to Shane-O Shuffle around her. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a Semi Final Match in the tournament to crown a new OAOAST X-Division Champion, with the winner advancing to the Finals at AngleMania VI! Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by PRINCESS STACEY! From Miami, Florida... he weighs in at two hundred, fourty eight pounds. "THE PRINCE OF THE LIGHTNING CREW"... this is VVVIIIIIIIITTAAAAAAAMMMIIIIIIIIINN... XXXXXXXX!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE And what a huge opportunity for The Lightning Crew's Second In Command. Just one match, one victory away from a spot on the biggest show in OAOAST history, AngleMania VI. And a shot at becoming X-Division Champion, no less! COACH Oh, it's gonna be a glorious AngleMania Mikey! It's going to be an all Lightning Crew Final to crown that X-Division Champ. The Second In Command, the heir to the throne, Prince Vitamin and of course the head honcho, Tha Puerto Rican. You've gotta admit, that'd be one hell of a match. COLE It'd certainly be interesting, IF it comes to pass. COACH If? If schmif! Reject'll provide a tough test for PRL later I'm sure, but Vitamin X is as good as there! COLE ...schmif? Climbing into the ring, X exudes even more confidence than usual as he climbs the middle rope, crossing his arms over his head in an 'X'. Princess Stacey applauds in a ladylike fashion as X scales a second set of turnbuckles, making some weird hand motions that seem to be him acting out 'The Prince slaying The Dragon' with an imaginary sword. "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Vitamin X is pretty sure of himself. But even he knows those sort of reactions don't come his way often. And he's rightly suspicious, as the cheers aren't for him, but for the man striding down the aisle. CABOOSE! COLE Uh-oh! COACH Wait... what the hell? What the hell is he doing out here? COLE It looks like he's coming over to join us. First time in a long time and with any luck, it'll be just like the old days when you used to keep your mouth shut! As Vitamin X protests to referee Nick Patrick about Caboose's presence at ringside, the Englishman lugs his trusty cricket bat over to Sofa Central. The thud he makes when he drops it onto the announce table almost causing Coach to jump out of his skin, Caboose taking up his old position at the commentary position with an icy glare aimed at Vitamin X. "CA - BOOSE!" "CA - BOOSE!" "CA - BOOSE!" "CA - BOOSE!" COLE Well, you can hear it partner, Sacramento's glad to have you back and so am I! CABOOSE The feeling's less than mutual. COACH #Memories, of the way we were# X continues to be distracted by Caboose despite the fact he's merely sitting and staring, Princess Stacey trying to get him to forget about him. Meanwhile, the clock begins to tick down as "Hung Up" by Madonna begins to play. A DDR stage hollogram replaces the dollar signs from earlier and as the song kicks up a gear, the strobes go into overdrive, illuminating The Dance Dance Dragon! Dragon and his scantily-clad backing dancers, wearing glowstick style belts, arm, wrist, thigh and anklebands proceed to bust a freakin' move as the crowd go wild! BUFFER And, his opponent! Hailing from Heaven's Dancefloor! He weighs in at one hundred, ninety nine pounds... "THE STRONG STYLE PARTY ANIMAL"... DANCE! DANCE! DDRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAGGOOOOOOOOOONN!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Dragon continues to dance down the aisle, working the crowd in Sacramento up through his fresh moves. Reaching into his bag of tricks (which is an actual bag, with proverbial tricks), Dragon then begins to distribute handfuls of multi-coloured glowsticks to the people! COLE Well, Dance Dance Dragon certainly the surprise package in this X-Division Title Tournament. He beat Ramone Juan Jesus Guetierez in the first round in 3 and a half minutes and then just last week, he advanced past Spanish Fly in just over 2 minutes! A run akin to Los Diablos De Fuego making it to the Anderson Cup Finals, if Dance Dance Dragon can upset Vitamin X tonight he'll be in the Final and within reach of his first championship. Into the ring slides Dragon, the glowsticks continuing to be waved even as the lights come back up. Vitamin X finally takes his attention away from Caboose, long enough to eye up Dragon. And burst out laughing. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Vitamin X, apparantly not impressed with Dance Dance Dragon. But he'd better be careful not to underestimate him, or he might be royally embarrassed tonight. If past form is anything to go by, Dragon may end this in less than a minute! COACH Royally embarrassed... heh, that's cute. Cause, the Prince thing. Listen Mikey, to estimate Dance Dance Dragon at all would be to over-estimate him. He's that insignificant. He fluked out once, he fluked out twice but tonight? Three strikes and he's OUT! COLE Well, let's not forget, Vitamin X needed the help of a can of mace and some brass knuckles to help him get past James Blonde and Longdogger Pete so far. COACH But he made it. That's all that matters now. *DINGDINGDING!* The bell sounds and X wastes little time, pointing a finger down at Caboose and telling him "I'll show you talent!" as he and Dragon begin to circle each other. Usually when you circle someone, you keep your eyes on them at all times though. Something which Prince Vitamin would be well served remembering for the future, as he gets shocked with a DDD schoolboy... 1... 2... 3- NOOOO!! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh, he nearly got him! So nearly another quick victory for Dragon! As soon as he kicks out, X goes scrambling out of the ring and kicks the ring skirt in frustration. Princess Stacey scuttles over to try and calm her sweet Prince down, as he glares at Caboose, who's stood up at Sofa Central and begun sarcastically applauding. CABOOSE Give this kid credit, he's improving day on day. He's just about beaten his time in the Lethal Rumble this year, although it was a real close call. Congratulations Vit'. Vitamin X begins to jaw with Caboose from across ringside, not daring to get any closer than he already is, which is a good 15 feet away. Again he takes his eye off the action though and doesn't see Dance Dance Dragon, as he picks up a head of steam and runs across the ring. Off the far ropes, Dragon charges towards X and ducks his head, looking to go diving through the top and middle ropes with a topé... ...AND GETTING CUT OFF, as Vitamin X jumps to the apron and forearms him just as his head stretches out through the ropes!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH There we go X! The Coach still believes in you! (meekly) Please don't hurt me. CABOOSE Don't tempt me. Climbing back onto the apron, X leaves Dragon hung up over the middle rope. And with a run-up down the apron, X lands a HARD kick to the side of the head, sending DDD slumping back into the ring. Typically, Vitamin X takes a moment to turn to the crowd and jaw with the fans before he finally follows into the ring to continue the assault. Dragon looks shaken and only makes it to his knees before X walks over, clubbing him over the back with a big forearm. A second big forearm follows. And a third, Prince Vitamin directing his attack towards the announce table before landing a fourth big strike. The sneer stretches right across X's face, dragging Dragon up by the mask and keeping one eye on Caboose at all times as he executes a Snap Suplex! "X SUCKS!" "X SUCKS!" "X SUCKS!" "X SUCKS!" Just to rub it in the face of everybody, X does the Shane O Mac Shuffle around the ring instead of following up on Triple D immediately. He waits until Dragon begins to climb back to his feet, before charging in with a big clothesline. COLE Caboose, last we saw of you was two weeks ago, you were beaten down by The Lightning Crew. I can't help but notice you've got your cricket bat well within reach, are you at all worried about The Lightning Crew trying to make a repeat of two weeks ago... and, for that matter, the week before. CABOOSE No, I brought it out here incase you started annoying me like the old days. And I'm beginning to feel pretty relieved that I did right about now. COLE *gulp* COACH So, you're not even the slightest bit worried that Prince Vitamin declared WAR on you three weeks ago? CABOOSE Let's just say, he wants to be careful what he starts, because history shows he's got a problem with finishing on top. Just ask The Parka. Or Otaku II. Or Colombian Heat. Vitamin X hits a scoop slam in the ring and backs off the ropes, dropping a simple knee to the head. Back off the ropes, X drops a second knee. The X-Man then looks at Dragon, deciding that he's knocked out and placing one solitary foot on his chest for a pin... 1... 2... No! Even after a one-footed pin, X decides the count wasn't fast enough for his liking and warns Nick Patrick to speed it up. X then drags Dragon back up, whipping him across the ring. The Bemani Bruiser hits the turnbuckles in one corner hard and Prince Vitamin follows right in after him with a clothesline in the buckles. Before he can fall, Dragon is pushed back up against the turnbuckles by X, who exits out onto the apron. With two handfuls of the mask, X then pulls back and SLAMS the back of Dragon's head against the top turnbuckle! And again! Again! Again, again, again and again, X with a frenzied attack that sees the back of DDD's head hit the turnbuckle at least 12 times before he's finally allowed to fall against the bottom turnbuckle! COLE Wow, you don't usually see that out of Vitamin X. A decided mean-streak in the self-proclaimed 'Prince'. COACH Well, what do you expect? Certain people need to be shown that he's not someone you want to mess with. And Dance Dance Dragon is going to be the unfortunate message bearer for them. With Dragon woozy in the corner, X swaggers back into the ring and into the opposite corner from his opponent. If the last attack was vicious, then this is just going to be humiliating, X making the 'lowrider' motions with his hand. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" CABOOSE Oh yeah, that's a dangerous man right there. Once the crowd are worked up, Vitamin X runs the length of the ring. And before Dragon knows what's happening, X comes diving at him crotch first WITH THE BRONCO BUSTER!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" X rides the bronco for just a couple of seconds before climbing out of the corner and telling Caboose that "that was for you, old man!" That gets Caboose out of his seat, ready to get some payback on Prince Vitamin! But as Vitamin X dares him on, safe in the knowledge that any involvement from Caboose will get him a disqualification win, 'Boose manages to keep his cool and re-attach his headset. "CA - BOOSE!" "CA - BOOSE!" "CA - BOOSE!" "CA - BOOSE!" As the chant goes up for Caboose, Vitamin X sneers out at the crowd, dragging Dragon out of the corner and to his feet. Vitamin X then goes on the attack with a right hand. Already there's a spring in the step and a little fancy footwork, as X lands a second punch. And, much to the crowd's dismay, X then does the Shane O Mac Shuffle... and connects with the final punch, taking DDD off his feet! COACH Haha, now that's how you dance, Dance Dance Dragon! Another arrogant cover follows, a hook of the leg accompanying it this time... 1... 2... No! Prince Vitamin shakes his head at the referee as he brings Triple D back to his feet quickly. Hooking the head, X twists Dragon right the way around until they're back to back, blowing a kiss to Princess Stacey before jarring the neck down with a Neckbreaker! COACH Rude Awakening Neckbreaker! That's what a real man looks like, right there, Vitamin X! X flips Dragon over and makes the lateral press... 1... 2... NO! Again X is unhappy with the referee, clearly not giving DDD much credit to have kicked out with a 'fair' count. CABOOSE This is this kid's problem. The ego. If things don't go his way, it must be someone else's fault because he's 'flawless'. Life doesn't work like that. Back up, Vitamin X snapmares over. Taking a couple of quick steps back, X then delivers a dropkick to the back of Dragon's head, whiplashing the neck and leaving DDD prone for the cover... 1... 2... NO! Dragon remains down after the kickout, Vitamin X lording it over him arrogantly. After a couple of cocky kicks out at the head, X suddenly has to call for a timeout. Winded all of a sudden, X exits the ring with a distinct lack of respect for Dance Dance Dragon in order to take a breather. Princess Stacey quickly scuttles over to give her man a quick massage, loosening up his shoulders a little bit. She then hands X a water bottle, the thirst quenched Vitamin X thanking his Princess for her assistance. X then looks at the rest of the bottle, as if unsure of what to do with it... ...BEFORE TURNING ON HIS HEELS AND SOAKING CABOOSE!!!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" CABOOSE Sunnuva... Caboose stands up and pissed off, grabbing his cricket bat as Vitamin X goes rushing across the other side of the ring. "CA - BOOSE!" "CA - BOOSE!" "CA - BOOSE!" "CA - BOOSE!" Michael Cole quickly stands up and tries to hold Caboose back, trying to convince him to calm down as it threatens to break down on the floor. He too is soaked with water, X heard giggling away off camera as Caboose angrily throws his headset down and wipes water from his eyes. COACH Uhm... I guess we're gonna have to take a break. Shame, I like it when my headset's the only one that works. *Commercial Break* Back from the break and in time tested tradition, we return in the middle of a chinlock. Vitamin X wrenches away at Dance Dance Dragon's neck, with the crowd already in the midst of trying to rally behind Dragon with some rhythmic clapping. COLE Welcome back to HeldDOWN~! and thankfully, we've got our equipment working again. And thankfully we've got some order restored here too, Vitamin X finally realising he's in an important tournament Semi Final here against The Dance Dance Dragon. COACH And let's hope that's the end of it. We don't need you causing anymore trouble out here, 'Boose. CABOOSE I'm one step away from driving this bat up your ars... COLE Dance Dance Dragon showing some fight here!! Climbing back to his feet, Dragon is compelled to move his feet to the beat of the crowd's clapping. X looks stunned at what's going on, holding firm to the chinlock but suddenly finding an elbow driven into his gut! And a second! Dragon finds himself free of the chinlock and quickly runs to the ropes... ...but CRASHES right to the canvas, as Vitamin X manages to hang on to the back of the mask! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Nick Patrick warns X about pulling the mask, but he doesn't seem to know what he's talking about and innocently makes the cover... 1... 2... NO! Angered by yet another kickout, X takes his frustrations out on Triple D with a simple and very blatant choke! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FI..." Saving himself from a DQ, X releases the choke on four. He then risks a DQ again by pushing Nick Patrick out of his way on his way back to his feet, clearly getting a little irritated that Dragon is putting up this much of a fight. Bending down, Prince Vitamin paintbrushes DDD across the face with a slap! And back the other way with a backhand slap, X talking trash to The Bemani Bruiser. That seems to fire the Dragon up and he suddenly kicks out at X. He manages to brush the kick off though, stomping DDD hard in the head to quell that fire that was building up before turning to the hard camera and performing THE RUNNING MAN~! to mock Triple D! So bad is it that the only person mocked by it would be the actual inventor of the dance and possibly Prince Vitamin's close friends and family. That doesn't stop him from bowing after his little performance, applauded by Princess Stacey on the outside. COACH You've gotta love Prince Vitamin. He's not one of those stuffy royal types, he's down with the kids. He's hip, he's fly, he's happening. COLE He's a goofball. CABOOSE Good news! Because, this bat doesn't just knock cricket balls for six. Finally getting his head back in the game, Vitamin X shoots Dragon off into the ropes with an irish whip. Showing an impressive standing leap, X then times the rebound and connects with a Spinning Back Elbow, cutting Triple D right off his feet! And he comes up onto one knee, arrogantly posing after his showy move. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Perhaps X has learnt his lesson by now, as he doesn't go for a pin this time. Instead he looks ready to put an actual finish touch on the match, as he sets Dragon up... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...by landing a knifedge chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and a second. However, what they were a prelude to we'll never know, as Prince Vitamin suddenly realises that DDD isn't nicknamed The Strong Style Party Animal just because it's awesome... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...as he retaliates in kind... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...with two knifedges of his own... COLE Here we go... ...but MISSES an Enziguri, X able to duck his head just in time to avoid the kick! The crowd instantly deflate, after building up a little bit of hope after Triple D's short show of fight, X quickly capitalises on Dragon with a quick boot to the gut. Taking a U-turn, X then vaults onto the middle rope and springboards back, dropping Dragon down with a DDT on the way back! COACH The X Spot! What resiliance from Prince Vitamin! CABOOSE Resiliance!? He took two chops! Dragon is motionless after yet another hard landing on the back of his head and gets flipped over by Prince Vitamin, signalling to the world that it's 'ovah~!' as he hooks him up with the pin... 1... 2... KICKOUT!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Stunned at not getting the three, X sits bolt upright. Slamming his fists into the canvas he storms to his feet, grabbing Nick Patrick by the collar and reading him the riot act. Until, that is, Patrick warns him to keep the hands off the merchandise or risk getting disqualified which gets X off of him in a hurry. "D - D - D!" "D - D - D!" "D - D - D!" "D - D - D!" CABOOSE I don't know what this kid is so amped up about. He's got the match going his way, Dragon's still hurt. All he's doing is giving him time to recover and giving these people a good reason to get behind him. COLE Impatience being shown by Vitamin X here. As Dragon uses the ropes to pull himself up, X clenches his fist and prepares to strike. As he runs in at Dragon though, The Masked Dance Assassin gains enough of his bearings to lean back, throw up his boot and catch X coming in with a kick to the jaw! Prince Vitamin goes staggering backwards and Dragon comes charging off of the ropes, ducking underneath a wild swing from Vitamin X. Quickly X turns around and extends his arm, looking to catch Dragon on the way back with a Hiptoss. But in mid-air Dragon turns into the move, hooking the head and countering it with a HUGE DDT that SPIKES Prince Vitamin on his head!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE OH! He got him, he got him! COACH NO! After that tide-turning move, Dragon frantically scrambles on top of X, Princess Stacey watching on in shock as Patrick slides over... 1... 2... NO!! The crowd groan, Stacey groaning too but in relief as she was sure her Prince had been overthrown. COLE Oh! So, so close, Dance Dance Dragon almost scored another sudden upset right there! COACH That's the resiliance right there 'Boose! Poor Prince Vitamin got driven down like a tent-post, right on his head but he still had the heart and the determination to kick out! CABOOSE Oh, get a room with him wouldya? Growling from under his mask, Dragon has gotten his second wind and crouches as he waits for Vitamin X to get back up. X hauls himself slowly to his feet, favouring his neck as he gets unsteadily to his knees. He then turns around, right into a boot to the gut. With X doubled over, Dragon turns himself back to back and hooks up the arms, looking for the NEWBIE KILLER... but X manages to use his hands to lever Dragon up onto his shoulders, into an Electric Chair! Still a little unsteady, Prince Vitamin walks DDD around the ring in the Electric Chair, just waiting to throw the switch. However, Dragon starts to twist and turn, making life uncomfortable for X before tilting forward for a Victory Rol...NO! X sits into the move... 1... X GRABS THE ROPES!! COLE HEY!! HEY!! 2... COLE NOT LIKE THIS!! 3- NOOOO!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Well thank goodness that wasn't three! Vitamin X was all over the ropes like white on rice. CABOOSE Or white on you. COACH Oh burn! X pulls himself up and hits the ropes, as Dragon follows. A back elbow misses the mark, X sweeping underneath the arm and bouncing off the opposite side. This time it's Dragon with the evasive manoeuvre, leapfrogging over Prince Vitamin. X rebounds again and Dragon goes up again with a leapfrog. However, X puts on the brakes against the ropes, causing DDD to mistime. And as soon as Dragon lands, X mows him down with a Spear! VITAMIN X BOO-YAH~! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Turning towards the announce table, Prince Vitamin points to Caboose and with a smile on his face he signals for the end. COACH Alright! Vitamin X about to put an X-Clamation Point on this match! Catching Dragon coming in, Vitamin X goes low with a forearm. Not too low, keeping it above the waistline which Nick Patrick confirms to the timekeeper's table as X ducks his head in and hoists Dragon across his shoulders in a Torture Rack. Getting his bearings, X then spins towards the centre of the ring, not taking any risks... *THUD!* ...except the risk of Dance Dance Dragon's foot CLOCKING NICK PATRICK as he turns!! COLE Oh, down goes the referee! CABOOSE What, did somebody sneeze? What the hell? As Patrick drops to the canvas like a sack of potatoes, X is forced to drop Dragon to see what just happened. That allows Dragon a moment to recover, aiming for X's head with a Lariat. But X again cuts him off, this time with a kick below the belt!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Dragon doubles over, holding his disco balls from the kick. And with Patrick to count or without him, X hoists DDD back up into the Torture Rack, making less of a show about throwing him off the shoulders and down into the Neckbreaker! The X-Clamation Point! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH There's the X-Clamation Point! And there's no better way to end something than with an X-Clamation Point! COLE But the referee is still down here, there's no-one to count. COACH Don't worry, I've got Thomas Rdoriguez's pager number, give me one seco... As a pager goes hurtling through the air and deep into the crowd, Vitamin X forgets himself for a moment and drops down for the pin. Princess Stacey slams her fists on the apron and gets X's attention, reminding him that there's no-one to count. And X curses his luck, crawling over and shaking Nick Patrick. Not shaking him back to life though, much to Prince Vitamin's frustrations. COACH Vitamin X should be going to AngleMania! He's got the match won! X stomps around with hands on hips, wondering what to do. With DDD still motionless, he decides the best course of action is to leave the ring and head up top, to add a Leap Faith just to be sure of the victory. After all, who knows how long it'll take the OAOAST's crack refereeing staff to send a replacement out for Patrick. X scales the turnbuckles, heading to the top, as Dragon is still down. CABOOSE Excuse me a second. COLE Wha... wait, 'Boose, where are you going? COACH HEY! The Sacramento crowd rise to their feet just as Vitamin X does on the top rope. Little does he know that they're not up for the expected high-risk manoeuvre, but because Caboose has left the announce position. With cricket bat in hand, Caboose jumps up to the apron, X not seeing him until it's too late... *CLUNK!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Caboose clubs Vitamin X in the back with the cricket bat and The Second In Command of The Lightning Crew goes flying off the top rope, doing a full front-flip on his way plummeting to the canvas! Up in arms, Princess Stacey screams for help for her man, as Caboose drops off the apron, grabbing hold of the prone X-Man's trailing leg and drags him out by the sneaker. COLE Caboose is gonna dish out a little bit of payback right here! COACH This is ridiculous! Get somebody out here, this isn't right! Grabbing hold of X's baseball jersey with his free hand, Caboose manhandles X to his feet, shoves him up against the ring apron and takes aim. *CLUNK!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" CRICKET BAT TO THE GUT! *CLUNK!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" CRICKET BAT TO THE CHEST! *CLUNK!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" CRICKET BAT TO THE GUT AGAIN! COACH OH GOD, STOP!! *CLUNK!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" CRICKET BAT OVER THE SHOULDER, X dragged right back up to his feet again... *CLUNK!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" CRICKET BAT TO THE GUT, AGAIN! COLE My God, Vitamin X is getting beaten black and blue with that cricket bat! What a vicious assault!! X, his body getting thrown around like laundry in a tumble dryer, finally comes to a stop and slumps over the apron as Caboose finally stops swinging with his weapon. By the now half-unbuttoned, roughed up baseball jersey, Caboose dumps X's carcass back in underneath the bottom rope and dusts his hands. Across the ring, Princess Stacey is in SHOCK, her Prince turned into a human pináta in front of her very eyes. "CA - BOOSE!" "CA - BOOSE!" "CA - BOOSE!" "CA - BOOSE!" COLE I think Vitamin X just found out what happens when you start a war with the English! COACH This is totally unfair! Prince Vitamin has been... has been... assaulted! That was GBH if ever I saw it! Caboose just beat him with that damn stick like the LAPD beat the homeless and that's not RIGHT! Job done, Caboose walks off with the cricket bat flung over his shoulder, not taking a second look back as he walks up the aisle. Back in the ring meanwhile, referee Nick Patrick has finally shaken himself back to his senses and uses the ropes to help himself up. He's none the wiser to what just happened, looking up to see Vitamin X prone on the canvas and Dance Dance Dragon slowly reaching his feet. The Strong Style Party Animal looks up at Caboose, before his head turns to the motionless X. COACH Wait... don't tell me this match is still going. COLE Of course it is Coach. COACH No... NO, X can't continue! The Prince needs medical assistance, this match should be over and Dragon disqualified! But it's not. And as Nick Patrick is hysterically given an explanation as to what happened from Princess Stacey, Dragon jogs across the ring as best he can. Stopping at X's body, Dragon busts a few moves DDR style, before dropping the big DDR ElboWii COACH No, this can't be happening! COLE Believe it Coach! It's happening, it's happening! As the crowd go wild in the background, Dragon dives on top of X. He needn't really hook a leg, X is barely conscious. But he does anyway, as Patrick drops... 1... 2... COACH KICK PRINCE, KIIIIICK!! 3!!!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH NOOO!! COLE YES! YES! DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES~! "Hung Up" powers through the arena and the crowd are going NUTS as Dragon, scarsely able to believe it himself, checks that it was three before dropping to his knees in celebration! Princess Stacey is beside herself on the floor, head in hands and close to tears! Watching all this from the stage is Caboose, a big smile on his face as he looks over his cricket bat carrying shoulder and nods his head in satisfaction. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... advancing to the FINALS of the X-Division Title Tournament... THE DANCE! DANCE! DDRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR - AAAAAAAGGOOOOOOOOOOOOONN!!!!!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Dragon sits on his knees and looks to the heavens, his face emotionless (he's wearing a mask, remember) but his body anything but! Rolling out of the ring, Dragon dances a little before embracing his Sacramento fans in the front row, while Princess Stacey tries to revive her Prince in the ring. COLE Unbelievable! Against all the odds, against all expectations, Dragon has done it! Who would have dared guess it a couple of months ago!? Dance Dance Dragon... is going... TO ANGLEMANIA!!! COACH What a miscarriage of justice! I've never seen anything like it in my life, Vitamin X was beaten within an inch of his life by Caboose with a cricket bat... if that happened on the streets, 'Boose would be going away for a long time! He'd be in the slammer, that was GBH! That was damn near MURDER! I... I am in SHOCK! This is a travesty! COLE Caboose played his part, but the fact is, Dance Dance Dragon is in the Finals of the X-Division Title Tournament! He is going to AngleMania VI to challenge for the OAOAST X-Division Championship, against either Tha Puerto Rican or Reject, in what will be without doubt the biggest match of his life! What a moment! COACH How can you condone what just happened!? COLE Hey, paybacks are a bitch, what can I say? Still poor Vitamin is down in the ring, Stacey cradling him in his arms and shooting a death glare at Dance Dance Dragon as he exits with even more of a skip in his step then usual. He's going to AngleMania, the world's biggest dance stage! "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted March 23, 2007 COLE As you know, one of the marquee attractions at AngleMania in 10 days time will be the 20 Man Money In The Bank Battle Royal. One man will come out of AngleMania with a guaranteed shot at the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship, to be cashed in any time within the next year. And as of right now, we have fifteen confirmed entrants. As we told you last week, already confirmed are Landon Maddix, Bohemoth, The Global Party Exchange, Jamie O'Hara, Brock Ausstin, Tony Brannigan and Dan Black of Black T, Christopher Patrick Allen, The Cuban Wall and Colombian Heat. And we have some new additions to that list. The HI-YAH World Champion Faqu will be involved, as will Spanish Fly and the SWF's Bloodshed. And courtesy of some pressure from... certain groups... Abdullah Abir Nerdly, the adopted child of the Nerdly family, represents the country of Syria! COACH I think I dated a chick called that once. COLE Way to go with the cultural tolerance there, Coach COACH Hey, she was Latino. COLE In any event, we're reliably informed that there'll be a special qualifying match to determine two of the last five places in that Money In The Bank Battle Royal, here on HeldDOWN~! next week. More details next week and we hope to confirm the other four entrants also. For tonight though, two Money In The Bank entrants are set to go at it as the 24/7 Champion Bohemoth defends against Jamie O'Hara. Two weeks ago, these two exchanged words before they teamed together in an impromptu tag team match. And came out victorious. But after the match, Bohemoth sent a clear message to O'Hara by pitching him out of the ring, over the top rope to the floor. Let's take a look. V.O. And now, the OAOAST BACKTRACKER, brought to you by Mrs. Spezia's Sweeties! "Taste The Psychadelic Rainbow!" After a quick detour, in order to clothesline Marcellus Wallace and send him spiralling to the outside, Bohemoth then turns back to Santana, who by this time has labouriously managed to get back to his knees. Which isn't good enough for the 24/7 Champion, scooping Vinny up into his arms and parading him briefly, before swinging him around... ...out... ...and DOWN~! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Erotic Awakening Of B!! As O'Hara keeps guard, Bo makes the pin... 1... 2... 3!!!! And that's all (s)he wrote! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Your winners of the match... the team of JAMIE O'HARA and the OAOAST 24/7 Champion... BBOOOOO - HHEEEEEEMMOOOOOTTHHHH!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Bohemoth pushes back to his feet and smirks down at Santana, his arm raised in victory by Nick Patrick. A hand suddenly slaps him on the back though and he turns around to see Jamie O'Hara standing in front of him, saying something which isn't quite audible over the sounds of "Liberate". COLE Jamie O'Hara and Bohemoth, 2 and 0 as a tag team even if the first one was about a year and a half ago. COACH And it might be another year and a half before they team again. COLE Well, they had words earlier. And... I can't tell if Jamie O'Hara is congratulating the 24/7 Champion or badmouthing him. As the 'discussion' goes on between the victors, O'Hara seems to be getting more and more animated. Bo just looks at him at first, but pretty soon fingers are being pointed. Until, from out of nowhere, Bohemoth has had enough and BOOTS O'HARA IN THE GUT!! As if on cue the music cuts, as Bohemoth quickly grabs Jamie by the head, the seat of his pants, runs him across the ring and sends him flying, over the top rope and to the arena floor!! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAH - BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" "Liberate" strikes up again as O'Hara lies in a heap on the floor, Bohemoth barely showing any emotion either way as he takes his 24/7 Championship and walks off. COACH Yet another example of Jamie O'Hara's mouth getting him into trouble. Hard to believe we used to roll. COLE I have no idea what that means, but I'll assume it was a lie anyway. So Bohemoth and Jamie O'Hara's run as a team came to a rather abrupt end. And instead, they will take each other on one on one here tonight. The OAOAST 24/7 Championship IS on the line in this one by the way, which I guess is a given as the title is on the line 24/7. But, this is an official title defence. "OOOOOOOOIIIIIIII!" The pumping beats of "Fix Up, Look Sharp" by Dizzee Rascal pound through the arena and through the sliding entrance doors swaggers Jamie O'Hara. The Birmingham Bad Boy jaws away at no-one or no-thing in particular as the marches down the aisle, brash as ever. As he reaches the end of the aisle, O'Hara gets in the face of the camera and points out the lingering cut on his lip, caused by Bohemoth two weeks ago. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the OAOAST 24/7 Championship! Introducing first, the challenger. Hailing from Birmingham, England... he weighs in at one hundred and seventy pounds. Representing THE HOOLIGANS... "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY" JJJAAAAAAAMMMMMIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE OOOOOO'HHHHHHAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" O'Hara vaults into the ring and talks 'that smack', again not in any particular direction. Infact the Sacramento crowd are cheering for him so he doesn't really have need to jaw at them. COLE You see, O'Hara with a fat lip there, something to remember Bohemoth by. The cut was caused by that pitching out by Bohemoth two weeks ago and ever since, O'Hara has been suffering. He told me in the back earlier, that that cut has been re-opened pretty much every time he's stepped into a ring on the OAOAST live event circuit since. And he's getting mighty sick of it. In the ring, O'Hara hops around impatiently... *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" ...as "Liberate" powers out into the Sacramento sky! The doors part again and through them marches the 24/7 Champion, Bohemoth, belt flung over his shoulder as he makes his entrance to a roaring reception. Bo pauses, lowering his orange-tinted sunglasses briefly before striding on towards the scrawny Brit daring him on. BUFFER And, on his way to the ring the opponent! Hailing from Greenville, South Carolina and weighing two hundred and eighty four pounds... the reigning and defending OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPION... "THE METEROSEXUAL MONSTER"... BBOOOOOOOOOOOO - HHHHEEEEEEEEEMMOOOOOOOOOTTHHHHHHH!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Making light work of the aisleway, Bohemoth jogs up the ring steps and pulls off his trusty orange shades. One lucky fan has a killer eBay item as they get flicked out into the crowd by the giving Meterosexual Monster (don't worry, he's got hundreds of pairs), being more careful with his one of a kind 24/7 Championship as he passes it to referee Mike Chioda. After a quick limbering up process, Bo then makes to enter the ring... ...and as SOON as Bo takes his eyes off of O'Hara, he charges and dropkicks him through the middle rope which sends him clattering to the arena floor! COLE And a quick start from O'Hara, that's what he has to do tonight. He can't stand toe to toe with Bohemoth! *DINGDINGDING!* Pulling himself up on the outside, Bohemoth loosens out his elbow after an awkward landing on the floor. And that momentary pause proves costly, as O'Hara is already airborne, springboarding to the top AND SPIRALLING TO THE FLOOR WITH A CORKSCREW DIVE!!! "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" "HOLY SHIT!" COLE UNBELIEVABLE!! COACH I have no idea what you'd call that, but it was impressive, that's for sure! Both men are down after that jawdropping dive. Naturally, O'Hara is on top though and manages to position himself on top of Bohemoth with a cover, falls counting anywhere where the 24/7 Title is concerned... 1... 2... NO! Picking himself up beside the barricade, O'Hara tries to keep Bohemoth down with some stomps. Bo begins to climb back up even despite the Nikey trainers raining down across his head, so O'Hara changes tactic. He climbs onto the ring apron and waits for Bo to turn towards him, getting a little run-up before tumbling off with a cannonball... CAUGHT! Bohemoth catches the 170 pounder like he was nothing, deadlifting him up into Powerbomb position AND THROWING HIM BACK-FIRST INTO THE RING APRON!!! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh, MY! Powerbomb into the ring apron! COACH NOT COOL! O'Hara's spine bends over the ring apron before he falls face-first to the ringside padding! The Birmingham Bad Boy is left nursing pretty much all of his body, as the 24/7 Champion stands over him. "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" "BO - HE - MOTH!" COLE Bohemoth is not playing around here tonight. COACH Apparantly not. COLE The 24/7 Champion is sending out another clear message, or so it would seem, that he is the man to fear in the Money In The Bank Battle Royal in 10 days time! Eventually Bo grabs hold of O'Hara's loose fitting vest top and hauls him off the canvas. Holding him by the back of the head, Bohemoth drags O'Hara around ringside and aims him at the guardrail, throwing him forward. O'Hara clips the steel in such a way that flips completely over the rail and ends up in a heap on the other side, the front row fans getting an up-close look at the action. Bo follows after O'Hara, pulling him up from the opposite side of the barricade. But he doesn't count on The Birmingham Bad Boy having enough left in him to cradle the Champion's head and drop, hanging Bo up throat-first across the steel guardrail!! COLE One thing you can't doubt about O'Hara, he's tough. COACH That's right. He's like a human Stretch Armstrong, you can twist him and contort him all day and like rubber he'll snap back to his original form. Eventually. COLE That wasn't what I meant, but nevermind. Coughing and spluttering for air, clearly that move has done some damage to Bohemoth's airways, temporarily or otherwise. That gives O'Hara the time to drag himself back up, still nursing his back as he climbs back over to ringside. Quick as a flash, or a flash that's been powerbombed into a ring apron at least, O'Hara then runs across ringside and leaps up with a forearm strike. Bohemoth is forced back a couple of steps and O'Hara comes in with another forearm. And a third time he fends Bo back, pushing him up against one set of ring steps. With the Champion sat on the top step, O'Hara then shoves various hangers-on out of his way as he snatches a length of television cable AND WINDS OUT AROUND BOHEMOTH'S THROAT!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE O'Hara trying to choke Bohemoth out... and, it looks from this vantage point like Jamie is bleeding. I think that cut on his bottom lip has been re-opened! Blood is indeed coming from O'Hara's mouth as he climbs the ring steps for a better leverage point to choke away on Bo. As the cable tightens around his windpipe, Bohemoth panics. Big as he is, even he can only stay conscious for so long in this situation. Quickly he fires back an elbow... and a second... and a third, until O'Hara slumps forward. Right over Bohemoth's shoulder... COLE WATCH OUT!! *THUD!* ...AND HE GETS CARRIED FORWARD AND SNAKE-EYED ACROSS THE EDGE OF THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Bo drops to one knee gasping for air, as O'Hara lies facedown in front of the announce table, not moving. Manging to unwrap the cable from around him, The Meterosexual Monster turns O'Hara over and decides to go for a cover. COLE Right out in front of us... 1... 2... KICKOUT! COLE No, only a two count! Jamie O'Hara got lawndarted right into our announce table and it didn't give an inch, but still he kicked out! The fight now heads back to the ring, as Bohemoth throws O'Hara back inside and follows up the steps. Bo climbs in safely this time and drags O'Hara up by the wrist, sending him flying off into the ropes. Back rebounds O'Hara, unable to stop himself before he runs right into a mouthful of Big Boot from the 24/7 Champion! And he follows up with a lateral press... 1... 2... NO! Keeping O'Hara pressed to the canvas, Bo looks to follow up with a big elbow drop. O'Hara eeks himself out of the way though and Bohemoth hits nothing but canvas, again bumping his funny bone which gives him some serious discomfort as he tries to beat O'Hara to his feet. He manages it, but as he goes to grab O'Hara, SuperJay crawls through his legs and escapes, jogging into a corner and backing in. Bo takes a moment to find him, but as soon as he does he wastes not time following in... ...right into a boot to the face! COLE And now O'Hara beginning to hit and move again. This is what he has to do with Bohemoth, try and out-manoeuvre the bigman. As Bohemoth goes staggering backwards, O'Hara hops up to the middle rope. And he waits until the Champion is within range before tumbling off the turnbuckle, hooking Bo's head on his way over with a Blockbuster! COACH Oh, SNAP! COLE All momentum there to drive the big two hundred, eighty pounder to the canvas! O'Hara lands on his tailbone, but shakes it off to dive back on top with a cover... 1... 2... NO! Shocked at the force of the kickout and the fact he finds himself on his feet immediately from it, O'Hara goes back to laying in some simple stomps. Bo manages to find room to reach out and push O'Hara away though, The Birmingham Bad Boy sent tumbling backwards. He rolls through and comes up to his feet, rushing at Bohemoth before he can regain his footing. Or, so he thinks. *WHAM!* COLE SPINEBUSTAAAAAAHHHHHHHH~! O'Hara lays splayed out on the canvas as Bo pops right back to his feet and looks around the Sacramento crowd, eyes wide as he comes to a stop. Thumbs Up. THUMBS DOWN~! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE The end may be nigh! Reaching down, Bohemoth grabs a handful of vest top and starts to lift the lifeless Birmingham Bad Boy back off of the canvas. But suddenly, his eye is taken as LANDON MADDIX slides into the ring and jumps him from the blindside!! The crowd quickly let La Cucaracha have it, before finding themselves forced to share some of the hate around as he has come with back-up, in the form of BLOODSHED!! COLE What the hell!? Maddix and Bloodshed, two more of the Money In The Bank participants... this is breaking down before our very eyes! Maddix and Bloodshed combined are enough to beat Bohemoth down to his knees, Landon happy to let Bloodshed keep the attack up while he puts the boots to O'Hara! "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" The crowd typically let the SWF combination have it, with both barrels. Bloodshed digs his fingers into the eye sockets of the 24/7 Champion while Landon continues to stomp away on the already prone O'Hara, fending off the complaints of referee Chioda. But suddenly, the mood in the arena changes and the crowd start to cheer as THE GLOBAL PARTY EXCHANGE dive into the ring for the save!! COLE Oh man, chaos has ensued here! The GPX are here to help their Hooligan bretheren out. COACH Not to mention get their hands on Maddix and Bloodshed again, never tire of that! Scotty Static quickly tackles Landon to the floor and mounts him with some frenzied punches, while Jax nails Bloodshed from behind. Peeling him away from Bohemoth, Jax starts to lay into Bloodshed with a succession of right hands. Meanwhile, Static continues to beat away at Maddix. But all of a sudden, the ring fills up even more as SPANISH FLY and COLOMBIAN HEAT join the fray! The former HI-YAH Tag Team Champions pair off on no-one in particular, getting themselves a piece of whoever steps in range. COLE We're getting a preview of Money In The Bank, 10 days early!! It's chaos as the eight men in the ring do battle. Or, seven, at least until Bohemoth climbs back up and WIPES OUT Spanish Fly and Johnny Jax with a double clothesline!! Meanwhile, Landon Maddix grabs Scotty Static and sends him up and over the top rope, dusting his hands and beginning to boast about his imminent Money In The Bank success. Until, that is, Colombian Heat sends him flying out of the ring! "YYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Heat soon follows, chaos continuing to ensue as Bohemoth has had ENOUGH! After Heat is gone, Bo turns his attentions to Johnny Jax and sends him for the ride! Spanish Fly takes the ride moments later, Bloodshed trying to run Bo from behind but getting BACKDROPPED over the top and to the floor! Which just leaves Jamie O'Hara, Bohemoth picking The Birmingham Bad Boy up and depositing him over the top as well! COLE Look at this! Bohemoth, standing tall! Will this be the scene at AngleMania VI in 10 da... *CRACK!* "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Suddenly though, just as it seems Bo has cleaned house, he goes down courtesy of a chair to the spine from TONY BRANNIGAN! The crowd are stunned as DAN BLACK joins his Black T partner in the ring. And together, Black and Brannigan grab a hold of Bohemoth by the head and by the tights, running him to the ropes... ...OVER THE TOP AND TO THE FLOOR!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "Quiet" by The Smashing Pumpkins hits as Black T are now left alone in the ring. Bodies are strewn around ringside as the OAOAST's most recognisable team look around the Sacramento crowd. Message sent. COACH Just like that, Tony Brannigan and Dan Black just put everyone in their place! AngleMania is their stage and who'd bet against one of them, maybe both, winning the Money In The Bank contract? COLE They can't both win Coach. But, you'd better believe Black T have set their stall out here tonight! Money In The Bank Battle Royal, 10 Days away at AngleMania VI! The shot is that of the closed door to The Enterprise's locker room. Not exactly the most interesting thing in the world, but there ya go. One can only wonder what billion dollar deals are being conducted within that prominent chamber. Perhaps we'll be given an answer shortly, as the door swings open in a slow, cautious manner. Emerging from behind a tiny sliver of space is Jade Rodez, in khaki pants and red polo shirt. She looks around worriedly, concerned with who might have seen her. When she realizes she's been able to exit without being detected a sigh of relief leaves her lips. It's quickly overshadowed by a feeling of dread however when the exact last person Jade wished to see, Krista Isadora Duncan, is spotted strolling down the hall. Legs almost frozen in space, all Jade can attempt to do is cover up the powerful words of “The Enterprise” scribbled on the door. Krista seems to be preoccupied with a phone conversation...well, considering that's it's Krista, it's mostly her doing the talking, and the other person listening and chiming in with the occasional “God, you're so smart, Krista.” Krista sees Jade and smiles sweetly to one of her few friends in the OAOAST. She mouthes the word “Cameron” letting Jade know she's either on the phone with Cameron Diaz or San Diego Padres center fielder Mike Cameron. Safe money is on the former. But if the latter is reading, why u only hit .268 in 06 nigga? Dodgers in oh7 bitch whatchu kno about that? Zito n the giants ain't shIT. Bang bang skeet skeet on ya ho ass. KRISTA (on the phone) Yeah, so my baby sister Taylor, another woman in the family who doesn't have the gene that prevents you from completely fucking up the best years of your life, is getting married in a few weeks. I got asked to speak at a rally for gay marriage. You'd sooner get Anne Frank to lead Jews to a concentration camp. Let the straight people keep their institution misery. Marriage is like having cable, and only getting one channel, and that one channel is HBO and the only movie they show is Titanic. You gotta watch your ship sink every hour for the rest of your life. (suddenly hysterical) Take me with you, Leo! Don't leave me here to suffer alone! I can't take it no longer, lord! Save me, lord, save me! (suddenly not hysterical) My mom watches the videotape of her fourth wedding every night. Only in reverse. One day, I said "Mom, why do you keep watching it in reverse." She said "So I can see the bastard take the ring off my finger." I don't know, maybe Taylor's time'll be different. Maybe she won't join the list of Duncan girls who have been screwed over by bloodsucking creeps. And maybe cows, fluent in six foreign languages will come flying out of my ass and discover the cure for all forms of cancer. Anyway, I should go. Bye, Cam! Krista slams her phone shut, ending her conversation with Miss Diaz. She turns a smiling face towards Jade, who can only look back with a nervous grimace. Why Jade just didn't leave while Krista was shooting (insider term!) on marriage, man, I don't know. That's wrestling for you. JADE Hi, Krista! Great to see you! KRISTA Hola, Senorita Rodez. What's going on? The innocent question causes Jade's face to erupt with a geyser of sweat that does not go unnoticed by Krissy's prying eyes. JADE Uhm, going on? Nothing is going on, nothing at all, I resent the implication that something is going on, because nothing is going on. Nothing at all! KRISTA Uh-huh. You're sweating pretty profusely, are you okay, darling? JADE Yes, of course. Why wouldn't I be? I'm always okay. Always okay. That's me! Always okay Jade! That's what they called me in middle school. Ask my brother, he'll vouch! Yes he will. Uh-huh! KRISTA Had one not just finished off the entire contents of a beer bong, one might be aware enough of one's surroundings to surmise that you're either in the terrible depths of an ether binge or are hiding something. And you don't wanna hide something from your friend and confidant, Krista Isadora Duncan, do you? Especially when this friend happens to posses two Masters degrees and a PhD. I can find anything, Jade, no matter how hard. If it's difficult, it'll take a day, impossible, it'll take a week. Why, I could sniff out the lost treasure of Atlantis, if I wasn't so afraid that prolonged exposure to water would make my beautiful tan skin all pruney and ugly. So, what are you hiding from me? JADE (scoffs unconvincingly) Hiding? Me? Nothing! I can't just stand in a suspicious position without drawing dirty looks? KRISTA You're cheating on your diet aren't you? I knew it! Jesus Christ in a Taxi Cab, Jade, I spent a whole two weeks designing that thing for you. I missed the finale of Dancelife on MTV! Am I gonna have to get you one of those electric dog collars that'll shock you whenever you get near a McDonalds? Because I will. Welcome to the wonderful world of McDonald's how may I help you? Yes, I'd like a ZAAAAP! And a side of BUZZZZZZ! And an order of ZZZZZZT! Would you like anything to drink with your freshly charred corpse? Don't think my dietary methods are above that, you don't become a celebrity fitness queen without being ruthless. I'll do it faster than Alix's doctor can diagnois her with anorexia nervousa. JADE I didn't cheat on my diet, you said I could have one fudgecicle a week. KRISTA Then you're still hiding something. Krista tries to look behind Jade's back and she panics. Like, even more than before. Krista shrugs her shoulders and smirks, obviously having a bit of fun interrogating her secretive friend. Jade on the other hand is not enjoying herself and continues to pour beads of sweat. KRISTA Okay we can do this the hard way, the medium way, the easy way, or the medium-hard way, or the kind of hard-easy way with perhaps a sprinkle of medium dashed in for good measure. JADE Can't we just go gossip at the makeup table instead? KRISTA Easy-medium way with a dash of hard-below average medium it is. Jade is supremely shocked when Krista wraps her hands around her waist and foists her in the air. Before Jade knows it she's being shuffled away from the door she was guarding, and a frustrated groan comes from her mouth. Previously amused, Krista now looks outright disgusted as she eyes the lettering on the door. Her blazing blue eyes direct an icy stare upon a withering Jade. KRISTA E-N-T-E-R-P-R-I-S-E? Please tell me that's the way all the cool illiterate eighth grade dropouts are spelling D*LUX these days. JADE Uh, not quite. KRISTA Then do you mind telling your dearest friend who stays up on the phone with you until three AM in the morning listening to you fawn over Scotty Static because he smiled at you in the cafeteria, why you were just in the company of the OAOAST's equivalent of the third reich? Baking cupcakes with Himmler perhaps? JADE I was just signing the contract for the Blonds versus D*LUX match at Anglemania. That's it. Nothing else. KRISTA Ever heard of a fax machine? JADE A what? KRISTA Ever heard that The Enterprise is a gang of overpoweringly arrogant white elitist jackasses who should have their shrived up balls rammed down their throats, and who's only redeeming quality is that they're guaranteed to spend the next eternity and half roasting like chestnuts over hell's open fire? JADE (meekly) Krista, that's not... that true. I know you're not exactly on speaking terms with any of them. But, they were all perfect gentlemen when I was in there with them. Even Mackenzie, although technically she's not a gentlemen, but ya know, the point is that for all the mean things you've said about them they were actually really sweet. And Ned, I know you don't want to hear this, but he's not the same guy you hate so much. He's changed, I swear. He talks about politics, and music and culture. Hanging out with Moneymaker... it's changed him. For the better. KRISTA I can't believe those words just came out of your mouth. You're young and naive, so let the grizzled old she-wolf of the pack hip to you the way the world really is. If I've seen anything since watching Ned move through the criminal ranks of the The Enterprise it's that he's still the same bloodless, homophobic, racist, cocksucker he's always been. If anything he's more of vicious fuckhead now then he's been in all the years I've known him. JADE (softly) Krista you can't say things like that. KRISTA I'm old, I'm drunk, I'm gorgeous and I'm famous, a damn near lethal combination that allows me to say whatever the hell I want. God Bless America, our home sweet home. JADE If you just tried to get to know people better... I mean, weren't you and Alix gonna take Maya to a renaissance festival at UCLA this weekend? Why don't you invite Ned and Simon along? KRISTA Excellent idea, Jade! And perhaps I can hang myself from the maypole after the jousting exhibition. Jade simply shakes her head in sadness. JADE It was just a sugges... KRISTA Listen, amongst the spineless, calculating toadies like Christian Wright and Mackenzie DeCenzo, who ride Moneymaker's coattails to sweet jobs and fat contracts, Ned is the one guy who genuinely believes in the Enterprise's fountain of bullshit. Jade prepares a counterargument but Kris' authoritative tone silences her. KRISTA Ned and Moneymaker are the living breathing incarnation of what American “drive and fortitude” truly is, a spineless, slavish, power worshiping pursuit of the continual domination of all those who are perceived as “weaker” then they are. And people like Christopher Patrick Allen or Simon Singleton fall for The Enterprise's game. And it's easy to see why. The lies, the deceit, the misconceptions are all packaged into a shiny, glossy, easily digestible box. You act like you know what you're doing and people will eat up whatever you serve them. They'll crawl over smoking hot coals to eat wet dogshit, chase it down with a cup of piss, and then beg for more. You just can't ever flinch as you ladle it onto their plate. But Jade, you're so much better then that. If you have any backbone at all, have even a shred of decency, like I know you do underneath all that blissful ignorance, you won't play their game. MELODY (eavesdropping with Baron Windells from behind a potted plant) TELL EM WHY U MAD, DAWG After a quick look towards the surprise interruption, Jade looks Krista dead in the eye. Or, at least as dead in the eye as her trembling body will allow her. JADE I don't need you to read me the riot act for a contract signing that took all of three minutes! I'm a big girl, I can handle myself and I just did handle myself without a lecture from you beforehand. If you want to guilt trip me, or sell me on your agenda, then do it. But don't do it over something that I haven't even done or isn't my fault! I appreciate that you care, but I don't need you to try and parent me every second of the day. I'm not Alix. KRISTA I just want you to... JADE Krista, I don't need you to want anything... KRISTA Okay, okay, okay, I'm sorry I bothered caring about you. Just please be careful, because when you back the wrong horse, you end up sharing the same bottle of glue. Krista walks away, not altogether pleased with the outcome of their conversation. Jade looks on in confusion because she never actually knew glue was made out of horses. Innocence lost? Ponder that during this commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted March 23, 2007 The cameras cut to the ring, where Bill Watts is standing with several security guards. There is a large table in the middle of the ring. COLE And we're going to sign on the dotted line here for the Heartland championship match! WATTS Ladies and gentlemen, what you are about to witness is two men signing on the dotted line, to meet for the Heartland championship at AngleMania! *crowd cheers* WATTS Two of the roughest, toughest men in the entire wrestling world! *crowd cheers* WATTS Let's bring them out here! First, the challenger, he is a former two-time OAOAST World champion and three-time Heartland champion, Alfdogg! The crowd boos as Magnum Opus plays and Alf makes his way out to the ring. COLE And here comes Alf, he'll be looking to win his fourth Heartland championship on the 1st at AngleMania! Alf climbs into the ring and walks to the opposite corner. He slowly walks a circle around the ring, sneering at fans. He then sits in his seat and stares down the entryway. COACH When Thunderkid walks out, he'll be looking into the eyes of the next Heartland champion! WATTS And now, let's bring out his opponent, he is the reigning OAOAST Heartland champion, Thunderkid! God of Thunder hits, and the crowd gives TK a loud pop as he walks through the curtains and comes to the ring. He climbs in, staring down Alf, and sits in his seat. COLE Well, here we are! WATTS Well, now that we're both here, let's get right to it! Alf, remember, by signing this, you agree that Thunderkid, as champion, has the right to choose the style of match you compete in! Alf grabs the contract, then picks up his mic. ALF I understand. It doesn't matter what the match is, TK...because when I'm done with you at AngleMania, you're gonna feel like you've been married to Ron Artest! *crowd boos* Alf signs the contract, then slides it to TK. WATTS OK, TK, make it official! TK signs the contract. COACH There it is! TK has signed for his last match as Heartland champion! COLE Time will tell! TK picks up his mic. TK Well, I guess I did just make it official. The official forecast for April 1st in Toronto...you, Alf, will see plenty of THUNDER coming down on your ass! *crowd cheers* TK Spring is in the air, Alf...and it's gonna take more than an umbrella to protect yourself from the April shower of pain that will rain down on you at AngleMania! *crowd cheers* TK starts to exit the ring. ALF Hey, wait! TK stops. ALF You know, this is quite possibly the biggest match in history...I mean, two Deadly Alliance alums duking it out for gold on the grandest stage of all, AngleMania! So with that in mind, I just want to wish you good luck. Alf sticks his hand out, and TK looks out to the crowd. Eventually, TK accepts Alf's hand...then ducks his clothesline and spears him to the mat! COACH Here we go! TK and Alf roll around on the mat throwing punches at one another, as the security guards pull them apart. COLE All hell is breaking loose here on HeldDOWN~! What's going to happen at AngleMania? ANGLEMANIA VI Toronto, Ontario, Canada LIVE and ONLY on Pay-per-vieWii COLE Well, right now we're glad to announce some GOOD news for you all. This past Saturday, OAOAST offices recived a fax... people still use fax machines? Uhm, anyway, they recieved a fax that they had been eagerly waiting on. Faxed notification of doctor's clearance to compete for "Silky Smooth" Leon Rodez! Yes, we can now confirm, Leon Rodez WILL return to in-ring action for the first time in 5 months to go one on one with "The Urban Legend" Todd Cortez, in 10 days at AngleMania VI! Leon, looking to avenge the man who tried to break his neck after War Games at Syndicated last October, with that sickening Riot Act Plus on the two ring aprons. And once the match was set in stone, we sat down with Silky Smooth, to ask him just what competing at AngleMania this year will mean to him. Let's take a look. ~#######################~ RODEZ We as wrestlers have a finite existance. One minute here, the next just a legacy. "Look into my eyes And you will see What you mean to me" Cortez, in a flash, lets go of Leon alright...but not before leaping over his back and bringing him back down to earth right on the top of his head, compressing his neck and spine as he drops him on the hard surface of the two ring aprons pushed together with the RIOT ACT PLUS~! RODEZ Behind the spotlight, the pomp and the circumstance beats a human heart. That balance is one all too tenuous at times. One wrong move and it could be curtains, even on the best of nights. "Such a heart Such a soul And when you find me there you'll search no more" Cortez manages to roll away in the madness, with the GPX fighting through security to try and get at him, while Zack crawls over to Leon. Zack looks at him, and the cameras show a glazed look in Leon's eyes as he lays perfectly still. Malibu screams "HE'S NOT MOVING! SOMEONE HELP HIM, HE CAN'T MOVE!" as loud as he can, and time suddenly stands still. OAOAST staff stop worrying about everything and anything and rush to Leon's side, checking on him but being sure not to jar his body or move him in the slightest. RODEZ I missed ten months from my knee, five months from my neck. I know the risks I'm taking by stepping into the ring again so soon. "Don't tell me, it's not worth tryin' for Can't tell me, it's not worth dying for" Malibu walks to the wall of the cage and screams for a stretcher, shouting "WE NEED HELP OUT HERE! NOW!" as two more medics, wheeling a stretcher, and even Anglesault himself charge out from the back. Zack turns back to his friend, who is still motionless, while the camera cuts to a shot of The Wildcards, Maddix, and Megan, looking like they just stepped out of a car wreck...and HAPPY ABOUT IT. RODEZ You're in this business for the bright lights, the big shows. And when you talk about those things, there's no brighter lights than those at AngleMania. "You know it's true Everything I do I do it for you" RODEZ Everything I've ever wanted in life, it comes down to this one date, this one place. There was never any way I'd miss it. "Look into your heart And you will find There's nothing there to hide Just take me as I am Take my life I'll give it all I would sacrifice" Well, I wouldn't. But, it IS a comeback, the triumphant return of LEON RODEZ, to a ROARING reaction from the Cleveland fans! "Mama Said Knock You Out" hasn't been heard in an OAOAST arena for nearly four months now and grooving along to it never felt so right, the song drawing on a little longer than usual before the curtains part and Leon, dressed in his street clothes of course, appears and freezes on the stage at the reaction! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" RODEZ I've been at AngleMania twice before. The magic is just the same as it was first time around, second time around. That magic is what fuels me. "Don't tell me it's not worth fighting for I can't help it, there's nothing I want more" In the ring, Rodez is celebrating his ring, as Rando and Supes are just now getting to their feet. They as well as K-Money clutch their necks, as they eventually get to their feet and begin to converge in the centre of the ring. Wasting no time, Rando hugs the victorious Rodez and raises one of his arms in the air. K-Money too shows his respect, shaking hands with Rodez, who checks if he's okay. Meanwhile, The Superstar doesn't seem best pleased at not winning on his one night return. But as Rodez walks over and extends a hand, he sighs and shakes to a HUGE cheer. RODEZ Sunday night, April 1st, in front of nearly 70,000 people it's about payback. It's about going 3 and 0 at AngleMania. But I've got just three goals. Walk in, try to put on the show of a lifetime and walk back out. "You know it's true Everything I do I do it for you" Rodez has a weak smile on his face. His body took a lot of punishment in the Ladder Match, but it was all worth it since Leon Rodez will go down in the record books as the man who ended the longest 24/7 Title reign in OAOAST history. “Mama Said Knock You Out” by LL Cool J starts playing as Rodez continues holding PRL’s spinner 24/7 Championship belt in the air. Nick Soapdish enters the ring to raise Leon’s hands in the air. Tha Puerto Rican is lying on the mat, stunned that he just lost the belt he has held for almost a year now. RODEZ At the end of the night, I still want to have my health. But in the same breath, I don't want to disgrace myself. I want to do myself justice on the biggest stage of them all. "There's no love Like your love And no other Could give more love" RODEZ Five months of frustration have boiled up inside of me. When that spotlight hits and 60,000 plus eyes rain down on me, it'll be tough to keep those kind of emotions in check. "There's nowhere Unless you're there All the time All the way, yeeaahhh" RODEZ Is it a risk? Sure. "You know it's true Everything I do" RODEZ When that bell rings, I'll know if it was worth it. "Oh, I do it for you..." ~###################~ COLE Coach, this year's AngleMania looks to be something special. COACH I gotta tell you, almost every single match on this card has some sort of personal issue behind it. It's not just for a title or the opportunity for a title, it's about revenge, pride, every kind of motivation in the book. Like Pavlov's dogs when he rang the bell, the moment "Getting Away With Murder" starts coming out of the arena sound system, the fans react, leaping to their feet in anticipation of the arrival of their hero. COLE Talk about a great example. It has been a tense past few weeks for Zack Malibu, as Drek Stone has taken an already personal war to the next level. COACH Desperate men do desperate things, Mikey Cole. COLE Like the time you had your cousin Rudy dress in drag and have him pretend to be your date for the company Christmas party? COACH THAT WAS HIS IDEA! IT WAS JUST A JOKE! Luckily not able to hear about Coachman's personal habits, the crowd comes alive when the former World Champion and current number one contender steps through the curtain. These days, Malibu's look of focus has intensified, turning his normal easygoing appearance into a more dark, stoic look. He's not just a man with an Anglemania main event and World Title shot on his mind...he's a man seeking vengeance. Malibu takes the microphone from Michael Buffer and enters the ring, prepared to address the crowd tonight on HeldDOWN~! COLE I can only imagine the thoughts running through this man's head right now. Come April 1st, Drek Stone is a DEAD MAN, and I'll put my last dollar on it. MALIBU People say that death is simply the inevitable. The end to it all. That no matter what you do, it's unavoidable. The truth is, people, we're avoiding it every day. Every single day that we wake up with breath in our lungs and the sun in our eyes, it's 24 more hours that we're spending delaying the inevitable. 24 more hours that we're on the run, distracting ourselves with our daily routines to put off the fact that sooner or later it's all going to end. The crowd remains hush, not knowing what to make of Zack's cryptic comments. MALIBU Drek Stone, every day since the start of this whole...every day, going back two years ago, you have been putting off the inevitable. You have been running and hiding and creeping around corners knowing that the MINUTE WE CAME FACE TO FACE THAT IT WAS ALL GOING TO END. Now, the clock is ticking. Now, you're starting to slip up, because NOW, Drek Stone, you're starting to grow DESPERATE. Desperate for attention, which is why you bring a gun onto live TV and commit a heinous, premeditated assault on MY friend, on the OWNER OF THIS COMPANY! Desperate to leave something behind, some type of legacy, something memorable, because deep down even YOU realize that you're not what a World Champion should be. You're desperate because every time you look at a clock, a watch, a cell phone...every time you watch the sun go down at night and rise again in the morning, you realize that you're closer and closer to your DAY OF RECKONING, MY DAY OF REDEMPTION! You're so nervous, Drek, paranoid even, because you're making these mistakes. You're relying on shock value, desperate measures to keep your name in conversation, to keep people talking, fearing the very day that you and I meet in the ring. Well, let me tell you something, Drek Stone...time has JUST RUN OUT! The fans buzz, wondering what's going on, as do Cole and Coach on commentary. MALIBU Drek Stone, almost one year ago at Anglemania, I won a match. A match that not only kept the HI-YAH Heavyweight Title around my waist, but granted me an opportunity anytime I saw fit. Truth be told, I got distracted for a while, and eliminating Bruce Blank was more important to me even than what this offered me...but now, I'm ready to collect. I am ready, right here and now, to CASH IN MY TWO FOR THE MONEY WIN, and get a shot at YOUR World Heavyweight Title TONIGHT, RIGHT HERE AND NOW! The fans ROAR, totally taken by surprise, as Zack Malibu has just pushed up the Anglemania main event by a week and a half to this very moment! COLE Coach, can you believe THAT!? COACH We're gonna have Anglemania early this year! Zack, now getting even more worked up, unbuttons his dress shirt and flings it out into the crowd, pacing the ring in anticipation of Drek's arrival. The gauntlet has been thrown down, and Drek Stone shows up moments later...on the Angletron, smirking. STONE Zack, Zack, Zack...look at you, all worked up. Calm down, killer. See, as much as I would love to throw away a big payday and come out there right now and humiliate you on national television before Anglemania, it's not gonna happen! The fans boo, and Zack stops and stares at the screen, rolling his eyes at what the reason possibly could be. STONE See Zack, I don't know if you noticed, but I'm not even in the arena right now. I figure that I would let a little bit of the heat die down, let you and your company of kiss-asses take a breather and get off my back. You just went on and on about ME being desperate Zack, but look at you. It's not that you want to get your hands on me and take me out...or, TRY to take me out. You NEED to, Zack. You have this notion, this burning desire, to be the hero at anytime, to anyone. It's chivalrous, really, but I'll be DAMNED if you're going to do it at my expense. Yeah, I've done a lot of things that I'm called out on...I've done things that make some people sick, and others squirm, and you know what? It WORKS. Because look at you, Zack. Calling me out with no preperation, letting your emotions do the talking...people can say I'm a heartless bastard all they want but you know what...that only means I don't HAVE ANY EMOTIONS TO GET IN THE WAY OF WHAT I DO. I act without thinking, without remorse, because THAT is how I survive. So take a look at yourself, Zack, and ask yourself if I'm the desperate one, or if you are. I heard you earlier saying that every day of our lives, we're just delaying the inevitable. What about you, Zack? Aren't you delaying the inevitable? Avoiding the day that you don't mean as much to this company, or these fans anymore? Avoiding the day that you grow older, weaker, and aren't able to hold onto that spotlight that you so desperately crave? For five years, Zack, it's ALWAYS been about you. Not anymore. This is MY time now, Zack. Whether you like it or not, I'm holding what MADE you into the man you are. The title that you say was built on your blood, and the blood of your equals, your peers. Come April 1st, come hell or high water, you will not see me as an equal, you will see me as BETTER than the lot of you thrown together. A champion for the new era. Heartless, ruthless, reckless, but still...A CHAMPION. See you on the 1st, Zack. Closing with a smirk and a raising of the title belt, as if he's dangling it right in front of Malibu's eyes, Drek's feed then cuts out, leaving a black screen. Malibu never took his eyes off the 'Tron during Drek's little rant, and his eyes are still focused on it, burning red with rage. COLE Zack Malibu was ready, willing, and able to take on Drek Stone right here tonight, but once again, Drek Stone cut corners, and has escaped the wrath of Zack Malibu! COACH The more he runs, the more enraged Malibu becomes, and honestly I think that's what Drek wants. COLE That's a good point, Coach. Both men, for very different reasons, are growing desperate. We'll find out which one of them makes the fatal mistake come April 1st when the OAOAST presents Anglemania: Etched In Stone, but right now, we're due for a commercial break, so we'll see you in two! Up next: MORE X-Title semifinal action!! Commercial break Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted March 23, 2007 (edited) COLE Well fans, it’s time for the second semi-final match in the tournament for the vacant OAOAST X-Division Championship! Earlier tonight, Dance Dance Dragon shocked the world by defeating Vitamin X to advance to the Finals. COACH Thanks to Caboose. COLE Yes, Caboose helped, but DDD got the pin! COACH Still, Caboose played a part in it. A HUGE part! COLE Let’s move on! Now, we know it won’t be an all-Lightning Crew final. But will ANY member of The Lightning Crew be in the Finals? We’ll about to find out! Let’s go to the ring! The lights go down in the arena. A Puerto Rican flag appears on the AngleTron. In big white blocky letters, the following words appear on the screen, with Tha Puerto Rican saying them: *THE CHAMP IS HERE!* With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role '99" begins playing, with the crowd standing up and booing. PR is heard saying, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" throughout the song, while smoke fills the entrance stage and strobe lights appear on the entrance set. A few seconds elapsed, the entrance doors slide open, and out through the smoke come "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican, and his manager and "Career Consultant" Stephen Joseph Popick. The crowds' boos get louder. PR looks at the crowd in disgust, jawing with some fans. Popick is carrying PRL’s black spray-painted briefcase with the Golden Contract inside. P.R. looks at Popick, and the two of them begin their walk down the entrance ramp. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is Semi-Final Match in the tournament for the vacant OAOAST X-Division Championship, scheduled for one fall with a thirty-minute TV time limit. Introducing first, coming to the ring at this time. Accompanied to the ring by his manager and “Career Consultant” Stephen Joseph Popick. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. Weighing in at 220 lbs. He is the Man With The Golden Contract. “The Corporate Champion” THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Chants of "P.R. SUCKS!" fill the arena as PRL and Popick continue their walk to the ring. COLE PRL looking to become X-Division Champion for the first time in his career at AngleMania VI! But first he’ll have to defeat Reject tonight, and then, if he gets there, Dance Dance Dragon at AngleMania! COACH He can do it! I have faith in the guy. COLE Well, we’ll see. Anything can happen in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! Tha Puerto Rican gets on the ring apron and sneers at the crowd. Popick holds the ropes, and Tha Puerto Rican enters the ring. He spins around; soaking in the fans boos while "Know Your Role '99" continues playing over the P.A. system. Tha Puerto Rican does the HBK muscle pose while pyro goes off behind him. The crowd is still booing loudly and chanting "P.R. SUCKS!" PRL heads to a second turnbuckle and raises his briefcase over his head. He then heads to another second turnbuckle and raises briefcase again. PR hits a third second turnbuckle, and raises the briefcase with his right hand in the air and "smells the electricity" a'la The Rock. PRL does the same Rock pose on the fourth second turnbuckle, recieving boos. Tha Puerto Rican gets off the ropes, removes his sunglasses and earring, and chats with Popick while the lights go back on in the arena. "Know Your Role '99" dies down as PRL and Popick wait for Tha Puerto Rican's opponent. COLE PRL and Reject have never fought each other in singles competition, so this is a first in the OAOAST. This should be a good contest! The lights go down in the arena. “Renegade” by Jay-Z & Eminem starts playing. The crowd boos. When the bassline kicks in, a single white spotlight shines on the entrance stage. The entrance doors slide open, and Reject walks out, garnering more boos. The spotlight follows him to the ring as “Renegade” continues playing. BUFFER And his opponent. Coming to the ring at this time. From The Bronx, New York. Weighing in at 235 lbs. He is a former two-time One And Only AngleSault Thread X-Division Champion…RRRRREEEEEJJJJJEEEECCCCCCCCCTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! COLE Reject is a key reason why this tournament is happening in the first place! It was at Anglepalooza back in January that Reject and “The Birmingham Bad Boy” Jamie O’Hara had a match for the X-Division Title. Both men ended up getting pinned when both men’s feet were underneath the ropes. O’Hara left Anglepalooza the X-Division Champion, but the decision was reversed four days later by “Cowboy” Bill Watts, and as a result, this tournament was made! COACH Reject should have never lost the X-Division Title. But it’s okay. Because he can get it back in two weeks at AngleMania VI! COLE But he’ll have to defeat Tha Puerto Rican in order to get there. COACH Geez, you’re right. Boy, this is a hard one. COLE While you mull over that one, let’s get to the match. Reject enters the ring. He heads to a second turnbuckle and outstretches his arms. The crowd boos. Reject heads to another second turnbuckle and outstretches his arms again. The crowd boos some more. Reject has a cocky smirk on his face. PRL looks at him from a different turnbuckle corner. COLE Both of these men aren’t fan favourites, so it’ll be interesting to see who they’ll cheer for. COACH Why don’t they just cheer for the both of them? COLE I think that’s out of the question. COACH Ugh. Idiot fans! Reject gets off the turnbuckle. He looks at Tha Puerto Rican. The lights go back on in the arena. Reject removes his sunglasses, sleeveless black vest, and black bandana, and hands them over to a ringside attendant. Reject stares at Tha Puerto Rican. Popick has already left the ring and is rooting for PRL at ringside. COLE Reject has the height and weight advantage, but PRL might have the speed advantage. Both men can go, and we’ll see who’ll advance to the Finals of this tournament right now, LIVE on HeldDOWN~! COACH Here we go! This should be great! Referee Nick Soapdish pats down Reject. He then pats down PRL. He then calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* SEMI-FINAL MATCH IN THE TOURNAMENT FOR THE VACANT OAOAST X-DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN (with Stephen Joseph Popick) vs. REJECT “Renegade” by Jay-Z & Eminem dies down. The crowd boos loudly. “YOU BOTH SUCK!” “YOU BOTH SUCK!” “YOU BOTH SUCK!” “YOU BOTH SUCK!” COLE Crowd doesn’t seem to be appreciative of either man! COACH Those plebians! PRL and Reject ignore the chants. They both taunt the fans in the ring. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK Come on! Let’s go already! Come on P.R.! PRL and Reject circle each other. They lock up. PRL grabs a side headlock on Reject. He cinches the hold tight. Reject takes Puerto Rican into the ropes. When PRL returns, Reject follows up with a powerslam! Reject covers Puerto! 1…2…KICK OUT! Reject picks Tha Puerto Rican up. He gives him a snap suplex! The cover! It gets two! COLE Reject in control of this match in the early going! Reject sits Tha Puerto Rican up, and goes for a surfboard, but PRL elbows Reject in the face several times in order to escape the hold. PRL stands up, and starts hitting Reject in the face with Rock-style punches to the temple! He switches to regular punches. P.R.L. then grabs Reject, and whips him into a turnbuckle corner. PRL follows that up with a Stinger Splash! COLE Stinger Splash from the Corporate Champ! Puerto Rican then grabs Reject by his head, and runs with him towards the ropes. PRL jumps over the top rope and onto the floor, while still holding onto Reject’s head. This causes Reject’s head to snap off the top rope and back down onto the mat! The Ricochet! COLE Ricochet from Tha Puerto Rican! The crowd boos. PRL quickly climbs up the ring steps and enters the ring. He waits for Reject to get up. When Reject is on his knees, PRL rushes forward, leaps up, grabs Reject, and gives him a reverse necksnap! The Lightning Shock! Reject holds his head in pain! COLE Wow! Oh my! People shouldn’t bend like that. COACH You’re damn right, they shouldn’t! PRL covers Reject. ONE! TWO! KICK OUT! PRL slaps the mat in frustration and then looks at referee Nick Soapdish. COLE PRL is on a mission to win this match, and advance to the Finals of this tournament, so that one Lightning Crew member can HOPEFULLY leave AngleMania the new OAOAST X-Division Champion! PRL gives the referee a dirty look. He then starts choking Reject with his bare hands! The crowd boos. Nick Soapdish tells PRL to stop at the count of 5. He stops at 4. PRL stands up and starts dropping fists onto Reject’s forehead. Puerto then bounces off the ropes, shakes his shoulders, and then drops another fist onto Reject’s forehead! The Five Knuckle Shuffle! P.R. picks Reject up again and gives him an Irish whip into the ropes. Puerto Rican goes for a clothesline, but Reject ducks, stops in his tracks, grabs PRL, and gives him a German Suplex! Reject holds on for the pin! 1….2….3–KICK OUT! COLE Reject almost had the pinfall there! COACH He was SO close! Reject stands up. He bounces off the ropes. Rolling Thunder! Pin? Nope! Only 2! Reject picks Tha Puerto Rican up and whips him into a turnbuckle. Reject charges…and gets elbowed in the face! PRL applies a chinlock from behind on Reject! Reject quickly escapes that by grabbing PRL and lifting him up, giving him a back suplex! COLE And now Reject and PRL are both down! Popick slaps the mat, trying to get his client back in this match. PRL is starting to breathe heard. Sweat is now on his forehead. Reject slowly starts to get up. The former two-time OAOAST X-Division Champion gets to a vertical base. Reject picks PRL up. He punches The Corporate Champ several times in the face. Reject then takes the stunned PRL to a turnbuckle. He places The Corporate Champ on the top turnbuckle. Reject jogs over to the opposite turnbuckle. COLE What’s Reject going to do now? COACH I don’t know! Let’s watch! Reject smirks at the crowd. He then charges forward– PRL moves out of the way!– And Reject hits the turnbuckle sternum first! “OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Ooh! He hit the turnbuckle HARD! COACH That’s gotta hurt! PRL stands up on the top rope. He waits for Reject to come near him, and then jumps off the top rope. COLE Missile Dropkick! PRL with the cover! ONE! TWO! THRE–KICK OUT! Tha Puerto Rican is PISSED! Still, he gets up, a sneer on his face. He picks Reject up and gives him a vertical suplex. COACH Oh boy! Here we go! P.R. rolls through and gives Reject another vertical suplex. PRL rolls through a second time, and goes for a third vertical suplex, NO! Reject reverses the suplex into a faceplant! COLE Reject stopped the Corporate Trifecta! COACH Whoa! I can’t believe it! Reject quickly takes advantage of the situation, picking up Tha Puerto Rican and placing him in between his legs. COLE Uh-oh! He could be going for it! He could be going for the Pitch Black! HOWEVER, PRL backdrops out of it! Reject holds his back in pain! COLE Oh! And PRL saves himself right there! PRL takes a moment to catch his breath. Popick tells his client to “STAY ON HIM! STAY ON HIM!” PRL looks at Popick’s direction, and then decides to indeed stay on him by walking on over to Reject, grabbing his legs, placing his left foot in between the legs, crossing the legs, turning around, and then bending down to apply the Sharpshooter on Reject! COLE Sharpshooter! Sharpshooter! Reject’s locked in the Sharpshooter! The crowd comes alive as PRL still has the Sharpshooter locked in tight! Reject screams in pain. COLE This could be it! This could do it! Reject starts crawling towards the ropes. He moves closer and closer to the ropes. COACH Reject’s moving! Look Cole, look! Reject moves closer and closer to the ropes until…he grabs the bottom rope! COLE And Reject still has a shot to win this match! PRL still has the Sharpshooter applied. Nick Soapdish orders him to stop at the count of 5. PRL stops at 4. He gives the ref another dirty look. COLE PRL almost had the match won RIGHT THERE! COACH Hey who knows? Maybe he can still do it! COLE Will a Lightning Crew member be in the Finals of the X-Division Title tournament? Or will Reject have a chance to become a three-time X-Division Champion at AngleMania VI? “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican stands up, PISSED. P.R. picks Reject by his head. He goes for a vertical suplex, but Reject blocks it. PRL tries for it again. Reject blocks. Finally, PRL kicks Reject’s left knee 3 times, then hits Reject with a vertical suplex. He rolls through and gets a second vertical suplex. PRL rolls through a second time and lifts Reject up for the third vertical suplex. He holds Reject up in the air for a few seconds, letting the blood rush to his head. The crowd is in awe of PRL’s strength. COLE A great visual this is tonight on HeldDOWN~! Tha Puerto Rican continues holding Reject up in the air. He does the “You can’t see me!” hand gesture, and then walks towards the top ring rope. P.R. drops Reject down onto the ring rope, giving Reject a slingshot suplex to complete the Corporate Trifecta! Afterwards, PRL sits up and applauds himself. The crowd boos. “P.R. SUCKS!” “P.R. SUCKS!” “P.R. SUCKS!” “P.R. SUCKS!” PRL has a cocky smirk on his face as he makes the cover. It gets two. PRL is slightly disappointed, but continues. He stands up, picks Reject up to his feet, taunts him, and then kicks him in the gut, grabs him in a 3/4 facelock, grabs his tights, and then jumps up for the CORPORATE NIGHTMARE~!!!! NO! Reject escapes the deadly finishing manuever. THE EULOGY~!!!!!111111111111111111 NO!!! PRL shoves Reject right into the ropes. When Reject returns, PRL kicks him in the gut, grabs him– CORPORATE NIGHTMARE~!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111111111 COLE Corporate Nightmare! Corporate Nightmare! He hit it! Stephen Joseph Popick lets out a huge, “YES!” “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican covers Reject, hooking his right leg. Referee Nick Soapdish counts. The crowd counts along. 1… 2… 2 1/2 2.9999999999999999999999999999999 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (8:10) “YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH Hey! The crowd liked that! COLE Guess, they picked PRL as the lesser of two evils tonight! “Know Your Role ’99" begins playing again. PRL breathes a sigh of relief. Stephen Joseph Popick cannot contain his excitement at ringside. He jumps up and down, yelling out, “YES!” over and over again. COLE PRL did it! He has defeated three men, and is now moving onto the Final match of this tournament! BUFFER Here is your winner…and advancing to the Finals of this tournament…”The Corporate Champion” THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! PRL stands up and looks up to the sky. He says, “Thank You!” Nick Soapdish raises PRL’s hands in victory. Reject is still lying on the mat, holding his head. COLE Well, Reject gave it his all, I’ll tell you that much. But in the end, PRL was able to hit the Corporate Nightmare, and move on. And hey, he shockingly did it fair and square too! COACH What do you mean shockingly? PRL’s won plenty of matches fair and square! COLE Not recently. COACH What do you mean not recently? Yes, he has! You just haven’t been paying attention! COLE Sure, Coach. Sure. PRL raises his own hands in victory, to a loud chorus of boos. PRL smiles evilly and laughs manically as “Know Your Role ’99" continues playing. He makes the “I-want-the-belt” hand gesture around his waist. He then puts one finger up and says, “One more! One more match to go!” Stephen Joseph Popick enters the ring and applauds his client with a wide smile on his face. COLE That’s right. PRL has one more match to go. One more opponent to face in order to become the NEW One And Only AngleSault Thread X-Division Champion! He has a date with Dance Dance Dragon on April the 1st at AngleMania VI: Etched In Stone! This tournament will end with a brand new Champion! The question is: who will it be? The leader of The Lightning Crew? The Corporate Champion? The 3-time Puerto Rican/Italian/Puerto Rican Champion, former North American Champion, and the longest reigning 24/7 Champion in OAOAST history? Or will it be the Cinderella story of this tournament? The Ultimate Underdog? The Strong Style Party Animal? The Masked Dance Assassin? Tha Puerto Rican vs. Dance Dance Dragon is our Final Match in the tournament for the vacant OAOAST X-Division Championship and it will happen at AngleMania VI on April 1st! And not only that, but this match will have a Special Guest Referee! COACH Who? COLE An X-Division legend. A man that defines what being an X-Division athlete is all about! “The Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels will referee the match between PRL and Dance Dance Dragon at AngleMania on April 1st! COACH Whoa! Christopher Daniels!? How did we score him!? COLE No clue, but he will be at AngleMania VI for this important match, the most important match in Dance Dance Dragon and possibly Tha Puerto Rican’s entire careers! PRL high fives Popick and then gives him a manly hug. PRL wipes the sweat off of his forehead. He chats it up with Popick as the two men leave the ring. COLE Let’s take a look at the updated brackets now. A graphic appears on screen showing the updated brackets for this tournament. FIRST ROUND "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican vs. Kenji Kawada - PRL "After Hours" Felix Strutter vs. "Ice Heart" Dan Black - Black Otaku II vs. James Riggs - Riggs Jamie O' Hara vs. Reject - Reject Spanish Fly vs. Jay Richards - Fly Dance Dance Dragon vs. Ramone Juan Jesus Guetierez - DDD Vitamin X vs. James Blonde - VX Longdogger Pete vs. Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix - LDP QUARTER-FINALS "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican vs. "Ice Heart" Dan Black - PRL James Riggs vs. Reject – Reject Spanish Fly vs. Dance Dance Dragon – DDD Vitamin X vs. Longdogger Pete – VX SEMI-FINALS "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican vs. Reject – PRL Dance Dance Dragon vs. Vitamin X – DDD FINALS “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican vs. Dance Dance Dragon COLE And so, there you have it, fans! From 16 men, we have come down to just 2. And on April 1st, those two men will meet one-on-one to determine once and for all, who is the next One And Only AngleSault Thread X-Division Champion! What a match that should be! And with “The Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels as the Special Guest Referee, who knows what’s going to happen? COACH This match will be a good one, Cole! And you know why? Because PRL will walk out of AngleMania VI the NEW X-Division Champion! I can feel it! AngleMania will be the greatest night in The Lightning Crew’s history! COLE I wouldn’t count my chickens before they hatch, Coach. Dance Dance Dragon has come this far. Whose to say he won’t go all the way? COACH The greatest athlete in Puerto Rico history! That’s who! Tha Puerto Rican will add another belt to his already AWESOME resume on April 1st! You can count on it! PRL: OAOAST X-Division Champion. Doesn’t that have a nice ring to it? COLE What about Dance Dance Dragon: OAOAST X-Division Champion? COACH Then the X-Division dies right there! COLE Oh will you stop? Anyway, fans, the countdown is on! We are just 10 days away from the crowning of a NEW X-Division Champion! Thanks to PRL’s win tonight, we now know our Final Match In The Tournament For The Vacant OAOAST X-Division Championship! “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican is going to AngleMania! “The Corporate Champion” Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick are walking up the entrance ramp. Both men are smiling evilly. Reject has already left the ring. Popick is carrying PRL’s black spray-painted briefcase with him. PRL and Popick gloat over PRL’s victory as “Know Your Role ’99" continues playing. This is the last image we see before we go to a commercial break. Commercial break Edited March 23, 2007 by Ed Wood Caulfield Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted March 23, 2007 The camera cuts to the parking lot, where The Lightning Crew and Stephen Joseph Popick are walking. The crowd boos. Vitamin X is pissed off as he walks. PRL is wearing his Corporate suit and tie and carrying his black spray-painted briefcase with the Golden Contract inside of it. VITAMIN X That damn Caboose! This is all his fault! IT’S ALL HIS DAMN FAULT! It’s all thanks to him! I had Dance Dance Dragon right where I wanted him! And now, I’m not going to fight you at AngleMania VI! UGH! DAMN! I’m–I’m–I’m gonna hurt him. That’s what I’m going to do! I’m going to hurt him! We–WE’RE going to hurt him! I know Caboose isn’t done yet! We’re going to hurt him! I’m ready for him! Are you ready? Come on then! Let’s go hurt Caboose! LET’S GO KICK HIS ASS! “THE CORPORATE CHAMPION” THA PUERTO RICAN All right. All right. Go kick Caboose’s ass. But you’re going to have to do it without me! I’m going to go with Lindsay and Popick to the hotel so that we can start our celebration party, celebrating the fact that I’m going to AngleMania to challenge for the X-Division Title! So, you’re on your own, man. Good luck. I know you have Caboose’s number! VITAMIN X Thanks, Puerto. Say, could you take Princess Stacey with you? I don’t want her to be at ringside when I destroy Caboose. It might get too violent and bloody for her. PRL Sure. Stacey, come on! We’ll see you back at the hotel. VX Okay, boss. See you then. PRL All right. See you. PRINCESS STACEY Later, boo. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK Go get him, X! Princess Stacey kisses Vitamin X on the lips, and then steps inside The Lightning Crew Mobile. PRL is in the front seat. Lindsay is next to him, and Princess Stacey is in the back along with Popick. He starts the car up. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez waves goodbye, and then The Lightning Crew Mobile drives off. Vitamin X waves goodbye. X then turns his attention to the rest of The Lightning Crew. VITAMIN X Okay guys, are you ready? THE LIGHTNING CREW YEAH~!!! VX All right. LET’S DO IT! THE BONE THUG ARRIBA LA RAZA~! Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, The Bone Thug, Thomas Rodriguez, and Vitamin X walk back to the arena. The crowd boos loudly. COACH Yeah, baby! Caboose stuck his nose into royal buisness and is going to pay the price! COLE LOOK OUT COACH, A CRICKET BAT!! COACH COLE COACH That's crossing the line right there. COLE Folks our next bout is an Anglepalooza rematch for the world tag team titles, pitting the challengers The Sooner Bruisers against the champions, Chicks Over Dicks. I'm joined by Enterprise members, Christian Wright and Mackenzie DeCenzo. I understand that you've reached a deal with The Sooner Bruisers. Perhaps you could tell us what it entails? CHRISTIAN WRIGHT Though the deal should be of minuscule concern to an insignificant troglodyte such as yourself, we shall humor you and bestow upon you the information you so eagerly seek. Mackenzie, if you would be so gracious? MACKENZIE DECENZO For The Bruisers victory over Chicks Over Dicks and subsequent relinquishing of the tag titles to The Enterprise, they will receive six hundred thousand dollars a piece, as well as the guaranteed services of Christopher Patrick Allen in their Sin City Street Fight at Anglemania. Not only that, but we are in negotiations with our Mexican partners Los Conquistadors to lend their assistance to the Bruisers at Anglemania for a nominal fee that will of course be covered by The Enterprise. Most importantly, the tag team titles will be given to The Enterprise in a posh coronation ceremony at Anglemania, featuring keynote speaker, Jeb Bush. COLE So for handing over the tag titles, The Bruisers get six hundred thousand dollars a piece, and their Sin City Street Fight turned into a five on two slaughter? You people never fail to shock me. MACKENZIE And you never fail to make me wish for your imminent death. The arrival of two of the most despised men in the OAOAST is marked by the music of Frankenstein and the chorus of boos that come with it. Bellow the Angletron, which shows various conquest of Bruiser might, steps the detested duo themselves, The Sooner Bruisers. A maroon robe, covering matching shorts with the number 69 stitched into the groin, stands over Frank's muscular frame, as he boxes with an invisible opponent. As his brother pummels an imagined foe, Uber marches towards the squared circle, snarling into the camera. WRIGHT Though I am most grateful for our budding business venture, I fail to see how these gladiators can be so bedraggled and uncouth when placed in the same stratosphere as a dignified legion like The Enterprise! These men are remarkable for their unequaled ugliness and general disorder! COLE Well if there's anyone who stands a chance of getting you your titles it's The Sooner Bruisers, former Anderson Cup finalists and tag team champions. Of course I said the same thing about Maddix and Cortez and look how well that turned out for you. BUFFER The following contest is your HeldDOWN MAAAAIN EVENT and is an Anglepalooza rematch for the OAOAST WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES. Introducing first, the challengers. From Oklahoma, weighing in at a combined weight of five hundred and thirty five pounds, they are former OAOAST tag team champions, and NCAA all Americans, combined between them they have won six NCAA wrestling championships, two world championships, eight high school championships, and seven USA wrestling championships, they are The Pyscho Gremlin, Uber Bruiser, The Man of Tomorrow, Big Frank Bruiser.....THE SOOOONER BRUISEEEEERSSS! Frank tears away his robe, and discards it to the floor, before sliding into the ring. He ascends to the top turnbuckle, where his massive muscles are flexed to the infinite disgust of the audience. Uber roams the outside, nodding to The Enterprise's representatives in between his efforts to intimidate the younger fans in the front row. Hey, hey, you, you I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one Hey, hey, you, you I could be your girlfriend! Hey, hey, you, you! I know that you like me! No way, no way! No, it's not a secret Hey, hey, you, you!! I want to be your girlfriend! The irresistibly bratty sound of Girlfriend by Avril Lavinge floods the arena with a bouncing beat. It's soon met by a thunderous ovation from the now standing crowd, who bleat chants of “C-O-D! C-O-D!” A pink pyro waterfall rains from the ceiling splashing hot sparks about the entry way. It's then intercepted by a gorgeous red pyro fountain, and multi colored embers dance across the area. Once the pairing subsides, a golden pyro wall engulfs the stage with it's tremendous size, leaving behind a thick haze of smoke in it's wake. A splendid image emerges through the rolling clouds, that of Krista Isadora Duncan's fitness model figure packed into Asian inspired black cropped to the chest halter top with a wide keyhole front, and a pink pinstriped pleated micro skirt. Behind her is Alix Spezia, attired in white tube top, matching booty shorts, and fluffy faux fur covered wrist bands and boots. The Hollywood Bad Girl gingerly bounces across the staging area, pumping her arms in tune to the beat and whipping the crazed crowd into further frenzy. COLE America's Sweethearts here in their state capital of Sacramento! I'm certain there are a couple politicians in the audience who have felt Krista's wrath over the years! MACKENZIE I can't believe these two were allowed to spend twenty minutes of television time insulting this wonderful man sitting next to me, as well as running down my sense of style! Dear sweet Theodore was so upset by that segment he had half a mind to place a call and have this entire network, and the Getty Museum shut down! WRIGHT Be not antagonized, friend, for our evening's cohorts, The Bruisers, shall plunge daggers deep into these dark whores' fetid hearts. Their acidic taunts will leave them punished. Of that you can be certain. Ally's skipping is drawn to an abrupt halt the second Krista latches onto her arm. Unable and unwilling to escape the tight grip, she's twirled like a ballerina and pulled into her dancer partner's arms. Brushing a strand of hair away from her face, she flips an alluring kiss to camera causing cute super imposed red lips to pop on the screen. BUFFER And the champions.... “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” BUFFER .....first, from Los Angeles, California, she is a two time twenty four seven champion, the CEO of Mrs.Spezia's sweeties, The Hollywood Bad Girl, ALIX MARIA SPEZIA! And her partner, from Los Angeles, California, she is a best selling author, a fitness queen, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, she is Miss California Krista Isaodra Duncan! Together they are three time OAOAST world tag team champions, America's Sweethearts, and Hollywood “It” Girls, Chicks Over Dicks! COLE Mackenzie I seem to remember that you were a 24/7 champion, beating Alix, but dropping your title back to her about ten minutes later. MACKENZIE A sugar coated version of the truth. I was only beaten when that skank tossed me into the trunk of Jessica Simpson's car. What can you say? Dodo birds of a feather flock together. But Alix wrestles as well as Jessica acts, which is why she'll lose tonight. As the girls trek down the aisle, Alix shows off her recently redecorated title, which now features extravagant pink and red Christmas lights, rose petals enshrining her name plate, Red Hot Chilli Peppers stickers cloaking all instances of the oaoast logo, a Jimi Hendrix X-mas ornament that plays Purple Haze with the flick of a switch, and a little slot that dispense perfume with the push of a button. Krista just tries to stay as far away as she possibly can from his amalgamation of crazy crap. Upon entering the ring, Krista stands on the first rope, and leans over the cables to beam a charmingly arrogant smirk to the millions of viewers world wide. Alix stands next to her, poking and prodding her like a child, begging Krista to look at her sparkling Ashlee Simpson stickers. COLE At Anglemania The Bruisers failed in their quest to regain their tag titles, losing when Krista reversed Frank's ankle lock into a pinfall. Frank had never tried that hold before and it's likely his unfamiliarity cost his team the titles. The Anglepalooza rematch begins with Big Frank facing Krista Isadora Duncan. No sooner then two seconds after the bell rings does Big Frank snare Krista into a collar and elbow tie up. Using his sizable strength advantage, he bulldozes the celebrity fitness guru into a neutral corner. The second they arrive in the location, referee Charles Robinson reminds the fearsome brawler that he has five seconds to break the count. In a surprising show of good sportsmanship, BFB breaks his hold at one. Perhaps it wasn't so surprising after all, as he now slams several boots into Krista's toned stomach. Miss California is able to brush aside the pain, and fight back with thudding kicks to his knee that push him towards the center of the squared circle. But BFB ends her moment of offense with an expert jab that lands perfectly on her beautiful face. She recoils a bit, but doesn't go far, as Bruiser takes hold of her arm and flings her into the cables. Upon her return she turns the tables on her foe, taking to the skies and bowling over Frank with a high flipping lariat! “K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!” sing the still standing audience for their fellow Golden Stater. MACKENZIE If you read the Wall Street Journal you'll find articles of The Enterprise's many efforts to feed the hungry, heal the sick, and protect the needy. But while we're doing that you can flip open an issue of US Weekly and find depraved paparazzi photos of Krista and Alix's latest night on the town. Yet they're cheered over us? Big Frank attempts to impale Krista with a big boot, but she catches his attacking shoe, then slams it into the canvas. Caught off guard by the counter, the amateur wrestling legend staggers backwards. The femme fatale uses his moment of disorientation to her advantage; she leaps onto the third rope then dazzles her home state crowd with a majestic springboard moonsault press. Big Frank makes an effort to get out of the way, but his attempted avoidance does more harm then good, and Krista's arm slashes through his neck, pushing them both to the canvas. Krista isn't quite finished wowing the audience however. With Big Frank a battered wreck on the mat, she shows off her Balanchine worthy ballet skills with no less then fourteen (trust me, that's alot) amazing pirouettes. Once her whirling deverish routine is completed, she takes to the skies and comes down across her rival's body with a standing shooting star press! Robinson scores the ensuing pinfall. CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! The superfreak kicks out well before the three, but that doesn't stop the audience from chanting “THAT WAS THREE” Trying to derail COD's train of momentum, Uber enters the squared circle wielding a clothesline. But he's the one who gets derailed as Krista overtakes him with a side effect! Floored by that one single attack, The Pyscho Gremlin rolls out of the ring, a defeated man. “K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!” COLE I can see why you'd be fearful of wrestling Chicks Over Dicks. WRIGHT Your's is a comment of jealousy and I will afford it little attention. Jealous of The Enterprise's wealth, it's connections, it's lifestyle, it's unmatched athletic achievement, you and others of your debauched ilk concoct falsifications and half truths, in a beggarly effort to devalue what is a priceless treasure, The Enterprise's uncomprable skill set as it pertains to matters of the professional grappling artistry. MACKENZIE You don't get to the top of the business and wrestling world by being fearful. And, ladies, you don't get to the top by insulting everyone you come upon. You just get beat up. Back in the ring, The Superfreak lobs a knee towards Krista's stomach. She deftly sidesteps the blow, but fails to avoid a quick elbow strike that puts The Man of Tomorrow on the offensive. He sangs her into a front facelock then upends her with a snap suplex. The second her body crunches into the canvas, Big Frank is floating over for the pinfall. However she kicks out well before Robinson can even count one, infuriating the Okie to no end. Both competitors rise to their feet at the exact same moment; Frank aiming for a soonerline, Krista seeking a hurricanrana. It's the vicious vixen who wins this brief exchange as her tan legs lace around his neck and flip him to the canvas with the highflying move. No sooner then the nausea sets in does Miss California bring BFB to his feet and lead him to her corner where a tag is applied to The Hollywood Bad Girl Alix Spezia. “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” The girls aim to please their adoring audience with a particularly gruesome hold, and shoot Big Frank into the orange cables to begin it. When he returns to their position, they both spring to the air, and horsewhip their expensive footwear across the back his head with twin enziguris! As the crowd bellows their approval, and a disgusting smacking sound travels through the ringside microphone, Frank topples to the canvas, the life all but drained from his pale face. WRIGHT By the gods, Franklin! MACKENZIE Calm down, Christian, it's still very early. While Krista exits stage left, her partner covers The Man of Tomorrow's remains. Robinson counts the fall. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO Frank kicks out, drawing applause from Mackenzie and Christian on the outside. The Man of Tomorrow rises to an unsteady vertical base and eyes a tag with his brother. However his passage to freedom is blocked by the culinary sensation, who whips him into a neutral corner. Big Frank calls upon a rare show of agility to avoid a collision with the ring posts, pressing his hands onto the second rope and handstanding his body into the air. Unfortunately his impressive counter allows Alix to easily surge forward drive her furry boots into his face! While the onlookers holler in glee, BFB moans in raw agony as his beaten body sinks into a tree of woe position. As Frank struggles with his unenviable situation, Ally plays to the redneck in all of us, and does a bit of square dancing, that has Uber on the apron calling for her head. Once the California cutie is done with her ho down she sprints towards Frank, and pulverizes his already grotesque facial features with a baseball slide kick. “SAFE!” Alix yells, making the Umpire's trademark hand motion, and lending further insult to Frank's misery. WRIGHT Would now be the appropriate moment to fasten words so bitter onto our snakebit collaborators? MACKENZIE Give it time, Christian. They are dealing with three time tag team champions. Empires don't fall in a day. As The Superfreak lies on the mat, scarcely able to recollect his own name, much less where he is, the bubbly brunette scales to top turnbuckle, facing away from her aggrieved rival. ALIX After the round of rocking out is finished, Alix sits out onto the cables, then thrusts her limber body backwards in a split legged moonsault. The Man of Tomorrow tries to roll away, but he moves far too late, and Ally Cat crashes down onto him in a pinning situation. The fall is counted by referee and crowd alike... CROWD ONE CROWD TWO The audience's hopes are dashed as BFB lifts his shoulder off the mat. He rises to his feet, where Alix is ready to meet him with an axe kick. But her flexible strike is delayed when he pumps an elbow into the side of her head. Satisfied with his only contribution to the match, The Man of Tomorrow decides not to push his luck any further and ventures to his corner to apply the tag to his younger sibling, Uber. WRIGHT In class, intelligence, wit, and grace this swine is improvised. Yet in the categories of strength, instinct, and athletic wherewithal, he enjoys a compliment of riches. MACKENZIE Precisely why I'm confident he'll live up to his end of the bargain. The Pyscho Gremlin enters the battle field by rushing towards Alix with the Soonerline. But Ally ducks bellow his oncoming charge, and he zooms towards Krista as a result. However, Uber is fairly confident that he'll be able to blast her into the fourth row with the devastating strike. How wrong he is! Krista extends her long leg over the ropes, and swats him to the canvas. While the audience chants her name, she springs onto the third cable, then vacates the ledge to smash her New Balance tennis shoes into her rival's muscular back. The pain of the amazing strike has nary a second to register in Uber's pea sized mind before Ally Cat takes him into an okalhoma roll.... CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! And again a Bruiser escapes the fall. Uber wastes little time in grousing about COD's dubious double teaming; instead he lashes at Alix with a european uppercut while both competitors are still on their knees. He then drags the home state favorite to her feet. Alix's eyes are blurred, a troubling by product of the violent uppercut, and The Pyscho Gremlin senses the makings of victory are near. With a treacherous grin taking hold of his features, he thrusts Ally into the ring cables. Then as the brunette beauty comes sprinting towards him he lunges for her legs, catching her right knee with his broad shoulder. The three time tag team champion emits a heart wrenching cry of pain as she flops forward. But Uber allows her no rest for her weary bones, and wrenches her back upright. The psychotic brawler locks her into a tightly held front facelock, and pulls her farther away from her corner, so that Krista will have zero opportunity to rescue her. Once he's assured that Krista is clearly out of the picture, he dives backwards and crashes Alix's skull into the canvas with a DDT! “OW OW OW!” Uber howls into the night sky. “NINTEY DAYS! NINTEY DAYS!” chant the audience, reminding The Bruisers how long they stand to be out of action should they lose to the Heavenly Rockers at Anglemania. WRIGHT The power! The anamalisitc dynamism! The mechanical brawn! All inherent Bruiser qualities that these shameless jezebells are ill equipped to counteract in adequate manner. Tag team championship thy name is Enterprise! Smiling through crooked teeth, Uber hooks Alix's far left leg, and Robinson moves into position for the count. ONE TWO But Alix escapes the pinfall well before the three, robbing Uber of his six hundered thousand dollar dream. The Bruiser brother just stares with weepy eyes at Robinson, struck utterly dumb by the failure to acquire the three count. MACKENZIE Instead of sitting there making a pouty puppy dog face, why don't you get back to the task we're paying you to preform? Perhaps having heard Mackenzie's rather rudely stated advice, Uber takes a chunk of Ally's luscious brown hair and leads to her feet. He tangles the helpless maiden within the ring ropes, leaving her body exposed to any manner of violent assaults his devious mind can concoct. His move of choice is a basic but deadly running avalanche. But The Hollywood Bad Girl has no wish to be flattened by a sociopathic redneck and makes moves to counter the attack. As he nears she draws her fur coated boots into the air, smacking him under the chin, and loosening several of his yellowed teeth. As a side effect of the counter, she's flipped over the ropes, and onto the ring apron. Acting with great speed, she targets a shoulder block towards The Gremlin's plump gut to set up a sunset flip. But he side steps the strike and returns fire with a clubbing forearm across her back. The blow weakens poor Alix significantly and permits him to effortlessly take her into a front facelock. The beach babe desperately reaches onto the ropes for some protection against the strike. But it's to no avail, and Uber succeeds in torpedoing her skull through the canvas with another DDT! “LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!” chants the crowd at Krista's urging. WRIGHT Such loutish bumpkins! Is it of any wonderment to any man of class and true repute, as to why the simple among us take to this tawdry filth merchant who's one skill is spreading her legs to whomever or whatever waves a dollar in front of her face? The Pyscho Gremlin pulls himself up by the ropes, and charges towards Ally, determined not to afford her a single second to recover. Alix meets her oncoming assailant with a sweeping roundhouse kick. But her left leg gives out on her, and Uber easily evades the resulting sloppiness. He then turns to face his off balance foe, and with fearsome grin on his face, unleashes a mighty discus clothesline. But Alix ducks underneath the fatal strike, to the audience's and Krista's delight, and is able to secure his free arm in her possession. Yet there's little she can do with this advantage, as Uber quickly wrestles control away from her, and takes her down with the third ddt of the match! Ally elicits a saddening cry of agony as she clutches her wounded head. COLE Alix is starting to take quite the beating right now. MACKEZNIE Exactly as we planned it, Mitchell. COLE Michael. MACKENZIE I don't particularly care. Back in the ring, Uber hooks Alix's legs, leaning all his weight onto her tiny body as the pinfall is scored by Robinson. ONE TWO Alix gets her shoulder off the mat, and her fellow Californians are ecstatic as a result. Both Bruisers are flabbergasted by the count, and angrily belittle Charlie Robinson for his miserable officiating. COLE The Bruisers starting to lose their cool here. Not much of a surprise. While the brothers grim fight a pointless verbal battle, Ally uses their second of distraction to head to her wobbly vertical base. Unfortunately her sporadic movements are spotted out of the corner of Uber's eye, and he leaves Big Frank to deal with the annoying official. Alix tries to fend off the approaching pugilist, but her strikes have zero affect on the brute, and he overtakes her with an irish whip. But our adorable heroine stymies whatever move he may have attempted by leaping onto the third rope. She moonsaults back, adding an extra rotation that permits her to cut her elbow through his jaw! Both competitors plunge to the mat, as the spectators salute Alix's graceful showing. Their beloved babe speedily attempts a pinfall... CROWD ONE CROWD TWO The denizens of the state capital are rabid when they watch Uber power his way off the mat! “BAREBACK BRUISER! BAREBACK BRUISER!” they chant towards the hated tag team, causing Frank to turn his head and bark orders of “SHUT THE HELL UP!” While Frank bickers with the pro-COD crowd, his little brother stands up, feeling as if he'd just been hit in the face with a speeding anvil. However, he's able to brush aside pain long enough to lob a lariat Alix's way. But Ally rolls bellow his approaching arm, and uncurls into an attack stance, immediately using it to slash The Pyscho Gremin's face with a whirling kick. The pure force of the strike sinks Uber to his knees, and pours blood from his mouth. Miss Spezia capitalizes on his wounded state by slashing her legs into his thick neck with a fameasser! “YEAAAAAA!” MACKENZIE Tell everyone to settle down, Martin, because flops and flips and flashy forays won't keep The Bruisers from their reward nor will they keep the tag team championships away from The Enterprise. COLE My name is.. WRIGHT Whatever the marvelous splendor of female form to my right deems it to be. Ally's elbows descend rapid fire onto Uber's visage, her bloody snarls hinting to a deep seeded predatory nature. After her sixth malice ridden strike scores an admonishment from the official, The Hollywood Bad Girl tugs Bruiser up by his arm and leads him to her corner where she tags Krissy. Miss California's reentry receives a gargantuan pop from rabid audience, but there's little time to bask in the cheers, as she's already barking stern orders. While Ally waits with a mischievous smile behind Uber, Krista slingshots herself over the cables and into the ring. As she nears her rival, her delectable legs extend forward, allowing her tennis shoes to slam into his beefy chest. But the impact of the awesome attack doesn't drop Uber to the canvas, as one would expect. Rather it deposits him into the frigid confines of Alix's inverted facelock. Ally acts with supernatural speed as she twists both their bodies in a violent manner and dives downward, shattering his neck with a “roll the dice”. Krista would love to go for the pin, but Alix has deemed this the appropriate time give shout outs to her homies near and far. “My granddad, rest in peace. Eatin some menudo for you tomorrow, holmes. Tupac Shakur, rest in peace. South Central all day, son. Bowie Kuhn, rest in peace. Byrdgang got much love for you. COD reign all world, from SoCal to NoCal, houston to the taliban. Byrdgang bang with metal pipes, elucidate theorems that reduce ya'll to serums.” Krista watches Alix depart the ring, with a look that reads “what have I done to warrant this crap?” When the source of her years of torment is finally situated on the ring apron, Krista is free to pin Uber. Robinson scores the fall... CROWD ONE CROWD TWO MACKENZIE No! You're throwing away six hundred thousand dollars, you moron! Kick out! Motivated by Mackie's unusual coaching technique, Uber hauls his shoulder off the mat at the last possible second. He gets to his feet, eager to make up for his repeated failings, and lock down his six hundred thousand dollar prize. But Krista is an unwilling passenger down Uber's road to redemption, and attempts to floor him with a standing enziguri. Uber shifts his head to left in order to avoid the volley. This proves to be a terrible miscalculation on his part, as Krista simply brings her other leg around and pulls him over with a modified head scissors. Uber is sent trundling forward like tumble weed, and when he's finally able to arrive to a vertical base, his swirling world is filled with visions of the fast approaching champion. He counteracts her rapid onslaught by latching onto her lovely legs then flinging her backwards, with hopes of smearing her makeup (among other things) across the ring posts. Miss California dashes these hopes permanently when her sneakers land expertly onto the third ropes. Smirking to himself, Uber turns around, certain that he'll find a whimpering, wounded Krista ready for his devouring. Imagine his horror when he eyes her descending upon him with a corckscrew moonsault press! The Pyscho Gremlin can do nothing more then scream in shock as Krissy's billion dollar body slams into him! “K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!” COLE Christian, do you think you and Theodore Moneymaker can handle the girls' flash and speed come Anglemania? I know you couldn't last year.... WRIGHT What a foolish donkey your detestable commentary has divulged you as! It is with short-sighted haste that you imprudently dismiss these Sooner Bruisers. MACKENZIE The Enterprise won't need to deal with any speed come Anglemania, because COD won't even make it that far. Uber scrapes his humiliated carcass off the mat and begins taking his gathered frustration out on Krista's tight stomach with a duo of right jabs. Though the blows don't pack much punch, they're enough to double Miss California over and leave her in vulnerable state. The Oklahoma native capitalizes on her moment of weakness, and drops a clubbing forearm across her back. The strike pushes her to the mat, where her back is further decimated by a round of brutal stomps. As each strike lands with pinpoint accuracy, a yelp of distress leaves Krista's quivering lips. COLE Here's the Bruisers doing what the Bruisers do best, bruising. MACKENZIE Did you come up with that insightful bit of analysis all on your own, Micah? Leaving Krista to blubber and sob on the canvas, Uber journeys to his corner to tag in The Man of Tomorrow, Big Frank Bruiser. His entrance into the contest puts him directly in the bulls eye of public opinion and the audience assaults him chants of “Bruisers suck! Bruisers suck!” COLE Big Frank didn't fare too well in his previous time in this match. I hope that for your's and his wallet's sake that he does a bit better. WRIGHT The Enterprise does not thirst for the nugatory emptiness of your hope, Mister Cole. Nay, we demand only your deathless loyalty and unfading respect. MACKENZIE Once Frank and Uber turn the titles over, we'll make sure you give it to us. Big Frank Bruiser arrives to the ring and immediately undertakes the task of punishing the fan favorite. Harsh stomps tear away at her back, and bring forth croaks of despair. After his stompfest concludes, he takes a chunk of her vibrant gold locks and roughly yanks her upright. “Not so tough now, bitch!” he screams, as he delivers an elbow smash to the small of her back. Krista lurches forward, wincing in obvious pain. The vulgar pugilist only heaps on additional misery when he strides forward and lances a lariat into her back. The impact of the attack sinks Krista to her bare knees, and spreads a white pain throughout her back. Bruiser stands above his injured foe and pounds her back with forearms. The strikes leave Krista in a state of utter desperation, and she stands up in order to run as far away as humanely possible from The Man of Tomorrow. But BFB traps her in place by sliding her arm between his legs and taking firm hold of it. He hooks her other arm, putting her into the perilous pumphandle position. “How's this for bareback Bruising, faggots?” Frank screams to the irate pairing of Alix and the audience, then proceeds to grind his crotch into his whimpering foe's luscious backside. “BOOOOO!” they jeer, as Alix is barely able to be restrained by Robinson. WRIGHT When a trollop choses to outfit herself in that fashion of skimpy rainment then any wickedness that should bechance her is of faults solely her own. After Frank completes his horrible showing, he lifts Krista up, then plants her onto his knee with a pumphandle back breaker! Krissy rolls over onto her stomach, not certain what's worse, the agony in her back, or the humiliation she just endured. BFB feels it should be the former, and drives this point home by kissing his enormous bicep then dropping the point of his elbow onto her back. As she screams in pain, he rolls her onto her back, and attempts the pinfall.... ONE TWO Miss California delights the capacity crowd by shooting her shoulder off the mat just in time to keep the tag title belt around her waist and six hundred thousand dollars away from the Bruisers. MACKENZIE We were only a half a second away from owning the most prestigious tag team championship in all of sports entertainment. It's only a matter of time, Christian. Krista rolls onto her stomach, the pain ripping through her body, almost preventing her from standing upright. Ever the gentlemen, BFB assists her to her feet, then promptly forces her into a standing head scissors. Despite the duress she's under, she stages an admirable fight against his clutches. However Bruiser is able to subdue her by reaching underneath her chest and crossing her arms bellow her stomach. The Man of Tomorrow begins to haul upward, but in one final act of desperation, she hooks her leg between his, and prays to the gods above to stay grounded. Frank is resilient and continues to try to lift Krista off the ground. But her entanglement is too much to overcome, and eventually he releases the hold. Consumed by frustration, the roaring Bruiser stiffly elbows her injured back. The shot smacks the breath from her lungs, and buckles her to her knees. This position permits her foe to ensnare her into a facelock, that precedes him lifting her into the sky for a vertical suplex. But instead of simply dropping her backwards, he brings her forward and slams her back first across his out stretched knee! The sound of her bones cracking against his leg mixes with her own cries of anguish, and causes the audience to boo in disgust. The rest of her cries are lost in the crunching sound her face makes under the impact of a clenched fist. The same fist opens, seizing her by her neck, yanking her corpse off the ground, and then once again ripping her back through his outstretched knee with a chokebreaker. WRIGHT Deny it not, Cole, days of glory are soon to be in the sole possession of The Enterprise! Miss California somehow manages to stand up under her own power. But she has no time to gloat over the small accomplishment, as The Man of Tomorrow is launching a forearm towards her head. She ducks bellow the blow, and extends her leg towards his turned back. Yet, BFB is one step of ahead of her, and swirls around to catch her spotless tennis shoe. His muscular arm then raises for the beginnings of a lariat. It's a move Kris wants no part of, and she backflips away from The Enterprise's gunman. Her avoidance does nothing to deter Frank, however, and as she lands, her baby blue eyes spot him bearing down on her with the Soonerline! Krista avoids certain decapitation by rolling underneath the incoming attack. Moving in perfect concentration with Frank's body, she backflips towards him as he turns to face her, and attaches her ankles around his neck. Before he can even mount a suitable defense, she's upending him with a head scisssors! “K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!” scream the audience, while Alix jumps for joy on the ring apron. As the dizzied warrior gets upright, Krista charges to him. He succeeds in avoiding whatever attack she had in mind, by placing his hand onto her back and pushing her into the cables. The blond bombshell establishes that counter as a roundly bad idea, when she handsprings off the ropes and slams her elbow into the nose of her adversary. MACKENIZE Don't bother opening your mouth, Mitchell, this is just a minor bump in the road. When The Enterprise has it's coronation ceremony at Anglemania, you'll see that all went according to plan. COLE My lips were sealed, Michelle. Big Frank doesn't quite share in the same (over?)confidence as his employer, and snags the speedy Californian into a headlock to slow down her frantic pace. WRIGHT Krista Isadora Duncan is nothing but a shiftless liberal dog; well educated yes, but what good are such acquirements if one's soul is no cleaner then the squalid floorings of an adult cinema. A cinema flaunting a feature her life partner has starred in, no doubt. With the headlock still applied, Big Frank grabs Krista's left shoulder to form an underhook. Miss California's shoulder spasms as her enemy lets the agony course through her veins. He adds further pressure to the underhook, then wrenches her chin to the side. BFB steps forward, and cocks his hip, letting his gargantuan body timber to the left! Taken totally by surprise, Krissy soars through the air and over Frank's hip, until she crashes into the canvas back first. No sooner then one second later, does Big Frank's frame explode on her like a nuclear bomb. Robinson counts the resulting pinfall, while Krista whimpers underneath the hulk of flesh on top of her. ONE MACKENZIE Simon says we should have a jazz band play at the tag title coronation ceremony. Radical idea, to be sure, and I'd rather stick to a classical orchestra. Christian, what do you think? TWO Mackie's plans for booking a band will have to be put on hold, thanks to Krista kicking out! The audience and Alix are quite delighted, but Frank lets the official know that the next unfavorable count he makes could be his last. With that ominous warning, Frank ventures to his corner and applies the tag to his younger sibling, Uber. “BRUISERS SUCK! BRUISERS SUCK!” yell the onlookers. The Psycho Gremlin pays the jeers no mind, and instead goes to work on Krista's oft-targeted back with a round of stomps. She wilts underneath the torrent of strikes, but just as they look to be doing immense damage, he inexplicably calls them to a close and brings her to her feet. He bends the helplesss tomboy over, and hooks her arms behind her back, rendering her powerless to prevent his forthcoming attack. He then lifts his victim into the air, and promptly drops her to his side. Upon her descent, her back first fall is intercepted by his outstretched knee, and a deep throated wail leaves her throat. WRIGHT Reestablishing the subject of the choral fare at our cérémonie des champ, what say your auditorial affectations to a zydeco assemblage? MACKENZIE Too agriculturist. Uber lifts Krista's limp body onto his broad shoulders, and clamps down onto her neck and leg. After twirling around to showcase his gorgeous catch to the hateful audience, he releases her legs and pushes her frame out so that it swings straight behind his body. As she floats adrift in the air, The Psycho Gremlin keeps hold of her neck and falls to the mat, executing a painful back breaker rack into a neckbreaker. Krista feels a flash of blue-white pain as the colossal power of the move hits home. The scream that it forces from her dies as a high pitched bubbling in her throat. Sniffing blood in the water, the great white stands his meal upright. But she proves she has a little life left in her, and fights him off with a kneeling jawbreaker! Uber recoils, clutching his wounded jawline, and Krista seizes on this quickly fading opportunity by lashing at him with a yakuza kick. But her foot misses the mark, as The Psycho Gremin evades it's trajectory. Unable to control her speeding body, Krista's leg crashes over the top rope and ties her into a treacherous position. Uber “aids” her in escaping her predicament when he tucks his head beneath her elbow, wraps his arms around her slender waist, and drags her into the sky. After stepping back towards the center of the ring, he dives backwards, shattering Krissy's back across the mat with a backdrop suplex. The sharp pain of the hold shocks the formerly dazed champion wide awake, and she screams for assistance. An outraged Alix tries to come to Krista's rescue, but finds Charles Robinson an impossible obstacle to pass. The momentary distraction affords Frank the chance to enter the ring and inflict his own punishment upon Krista. He strides forward and punts her back with the toe of her boot, drawing distressed coughs from the wounded champion. “BOOOOO!” Robinson turns away from Alix to spot the source of the fans' anger, but sees only Frank resting idly on the apron, and Uber holding Krista by her hair, and rifling clubbing forearms into her back. As the official fully returns to the action, Uber sends Krissy careening into the corner courtesy of an Irish whip. But Krista utilizes her dancer's leg strength bounds to the top rope, while her rival trails her with a body splash. As he nears, she flings herself backwards with a twisting cross body block. However, Uber steps out of the way and it looks for the moment that Krista might undergo a collision with the mat. But she's able to crook her arm around his neck, then uses her downward momentum to spike his head into the floor with a DDT! Sadly, there's not even a second for the crowd to cheer before Big Frank interjects himself into the fray, and maims Miss California with a catastrophic Soonerline! Krista hits the canvas a defeated wreck, eyes locked shut, mouth breathing heavily. A wealth of warnings are instantly issued by Robinson over the voices of wrathful crowd. But all the threats of disqualification in the world can do nothing to heal the immeasurable damage done to Krista. WRIGHT Ha! She finally bears the awful burden of her crimes of living in hedonistic revelry and sinful debauchery for all the days of her depraved, alcohol indulged life! MACKENZIE A pin would be ideal right about now. Wise words, indeed, but ones that aren't followed by the pigheaded Bruiser. As Uber is unable to control his desire to administer more pain to his already vegetative foe, he forgoes the pinfall and instead scrapes her off the mat. While her spiritless frame stands up, The Psycho Gremlin slides his thumb across his throat in a universally disdained gesture, that earns it's share of boos from the capacity crowd. COLE According to Uber this match is over! That means we'll have new tag team champions, The Enterprise, and The Heavenly Rockers will be forced into five on two handicap match at Anglemania! Uber applies a standing head scissors onto Krista, then scoops her into the sky so that he can administer a powerbomb. However, Krista calls upon a remarkable surge of strength, and locks her legs around his wide neck. The fans buzz their approval as their heroine begins to frantically pump her fists into Bruiser's skull. After carving open a deep gash in Uber's forehead with her twelfth strike, Krista applies a front facelock and pushes her legs off his shoulders. In mid air the fitness queen gives her body violent twirl, jerking the unwitting Bruiser around with her in order to pulverize his cranium with a tornado DDT! “YEAAAA!” Uber crumples to the canvas, face blank, mouth slack. It would be a perfect time for Krista to pin him, were she not lying at his side, besieged by even worse exhaustion than he. The Sacramento crowd raises their voice to the highest decibel level of the night, as they scream in undying support for the tag team champion. “LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!” they bleat, while Alix smashes her hand against the turnbuckle to rally Krista to her corner. Not a single muscle is moved by either competitor as Robinson slowly counts. “One!” Stillness. “Two!” Stillness. “Three!” Stillness. “Four” Uber stirs, giving rise to an audible groan from the audience. His aim isn't to strike Krista down with another offensive attack, rather he wishes to tag in Big Frank to finish the assassination they've been paid to execute. “Five” the count is solely for Krista now. “Six!” Stillness. “Seven!” Stillness. “LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!” A loud slap echoes throughout the arena as the hands of Uber and Frank meet, bringing The Man of Tomorrow into the contest. Frank has little intention of letting Robinson's unbearably slow count finish Krista off. No, he wants the pleasure of doing it himself. And it's with flame filled eyes that he marches towards her, the camel clutch the only thing on his mind. And this is where the defeat of The Sooner Bruiser's begins. In Krista's mind they're dead already, the rest is mere detail. The play is still on, and the comedy continues, as the hissing and growling Frank nears the currently docile woman. But the theatre of the Bruisers' suddenly morphs into a tragedy of ancient Greek proportions when Krista kips up, and obliterates Frank's visage with a superkick. The Man of Tomorrow topples over, cringing, shrinking with dread. And the heroine of this play uses her last great surge of energy to dive backwards and tag in her savior, Alix Spezia. “ALIX! ALIX!” the noise level of the crowd is deafening, the announcers can scarcely be heard over their cheers. “YA'LL WHITE BOYS DONE FUCKED UP NOW!” screams Alix as she slingshots herself into the ring and upends an unsuspecting Uber with a dropkick. WRIGHT Bruiser clan, be bold against your disputants! Brandish thy sword and manage it to slay these ladies of the evening! Christian's coaching goes unheeded, and Alix once again takes Uber off his feet with another crowd popping dropkick. The Psycho Gremlin rises just as quickly as he feel, but this time Alix doesn't get the chance to dropkick him, as he launches the feisty diva towards a corner. Ally avoids the brutal collision with the ringposts by leaping onto the third turnbuckle. Unfortunately there's still the matter of the rampaging Bruiser to attend to. She handles this situation with typical style and speed, moonsaulting towards her incoming attacker. Her arm flares out to the side while still in midair, catching onto his neck while her body buzzes by him. She lands on her feet, with her foe captured into an inverted facelock. From there she brings her right leg across his neck, then drops to the canvas, severing his throat between her limb and the mat! “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” With The Psycho Gremlin incapacitated for the time being, Alix eyes this as a splendid moment to treat the fans to their favorite of her signature moves. Her knees touch her elbows and her booty vigorusly bounces like a Scott Storch beat, and men across the country-REAL FUCKING MEN, men who aren't afraid to admit that they pitched a tent during the oiled-up loin clothed homoerotic goodness of 300, and who can no longer resist their pathetic urges to fantasize about a life led differently, a life led between the glorious hug of Alix's voluptuous buttcheeks-finally know that there is a god, and this god can produce beautiful forms of women who are capable of moonsaulting over and driving the point of their knee into Uber Bruiser's face. Robinson scores the resulting pinfall... CROWD ONE MACKENZIE This can't be happening! CROWD TWO CROWD THREE!! Not quite, as Big Frank clambers to Alix's position and ends the count with a boot to her back. As she tries to figure out who or what just struck her, he takes advantage of her confusion by raising her upright, then shooting her off to the ropes. When she returns, he takes hold of her waist and twists her through the air like an out of control rollercoaster. After the full 360 rotation concludes he punishes her against the beige canvas with a tilt-a-whirl sidewalk slam. He hooks her leg for what he's certain will be the pinfall that makes him six hundred thousand dollars richer... ONE TWO WRIGHT Consorts, compatriots, bedfellows and adherents, thy mission has been accomplished, you sit beside the endeared company of champions! Christian has spoken far too soon, as Krista ends the pinfall with an elbow drop, drawing a huge pop from the rafters. Angered by her intrusion, BFB strikes her down with a punch to the gut the second he gets to his feet. The attack buckles her knees and permits him to shove her into a standing head scissors. Unfortunately for him, while Krista may be subdued, Alix certainly isn't, and her method of attack presents a nearly insurmountable problem. She charges towards their location, and uses Kris' back as a launching pad to rocket into the sky. As she moves in range of BFB's head, her knee flicks out, ready to burn through his face. So, Frank does the only thing he can do, tuck his neck, and pray that Alix' misses him. His prayers don't go unanswered and the once deadly bullet sails harmlessly overhead. With The Hollywood Bad Girl indisposed, Frank wastes no time in hauling her partner onto his shoulders for a powerbomb. But like a lethal boomerang, Alix returns when Frank least expects and takes out his knees with a chop block! The sudden jolt pulls The Man Of Tomorrow off his feet, and he and Krista crash into the mat in a pinning situation most favorable to COD! MACKENZIE I can't take much more of this! CROWD ONE CROWD TWO CROWD THREE! No! Uber returns to the affair and shoves Krista off his brother, much to the chagrin of Alix and the attendees. Unlike the audience, Alix is more then capable of taking her aggression out on the vexing brawler, and she does just that when she strikes him with a dropsault! His close proximity to the ropes proves to be his undoing, as the attack hurtles him over the cables like a misfired torpedo. He lands on his feet, but is still too groggy to reenter the ring. This moment of bewilderment is all Krista needs to make certain that we've seen the last of The Psycho Gremlin. Tossing caution to the wind, she launches herself over the cables and extends her body into a swanton bomb. By the time Uber realizes the direness of his situation the guillitoine's blade is already inches from his neck, chopping him into a useless heap of sweat and bones! “C-O-D! C-O-D!” they fans sing as Krista all but ends Uber's time in this contest. COLE It looks like all your hopes rest with The Man Of Tomorrow. MACKENZIE The Man of Tomorrow may not live to see tomorrow if he screws this up! Back in the squared circle, Ally dashes to Frank to eliminate him with a shinning wizard. But Frank uses his brute strength to overpower Alix, and catch onto her slender waist. With frim grasp on the diva he shoots her into the air and brings her down with a sit out spine buster! Robinson gets into position to count what's certain to be a match ending pinfall, but this action is for naught, as Frank refuses to pin Alix. It's a strange decision that pushes Mackie to the brink of a heart attack. But as silly as neglecting the pinfall was, BFB's next move, climbing to the top rope, is what truly pushes Mackenzie over the edge. COLE What's he doing up there? MACKENZIE Exposing himself as a moron. Get down this very instant! Mackie's misgivings are well founded; Frank is prevented from leaping off his nest by a firm clamp on his ankle. The annoyed brawler turns to his side to see the cause of his entrapment, and finds that it's Melody Nerdly, who he and his brother bound and gagged two weeks ago. “Get the fuck off me, bitch!” He hollers over the yell of the Sacramento audience. “Time to die n00b! Let's do this, LEEEERRROOOOOOY JEEEEEENNIIIKKNS!” she responds, and if you got the last part it's time to turn off World Of Warcraft and go outside more often. WRIGHT (standing up) Guards, remove her at once! Frank's struggles with the world's cutest computer geek, present Ally with the perfect opportunity to ascend to this location. She maneuvers her body behind his, which allows her to trap him within a full nelson. The Man of Tomorrow bucks and thrashes against the lovely duo's restraints, but his efforts meet little success. Proceeded by the roar of the crowd, The Hollywood Bad Girl kicks Frank's legs away from the turnbuckle. Gravity does it's part by plummeting the hollering Bruiser to the rock solid hell bellow.... MACKENZIE No! No! No! No! After what seems like an eternity of being adrift in space, the pairing falls like a meteor and explodes into the canvas at the hands of a marvelous top rope You have died of dysentery (full nelson face crusher). It's Frank who endures the entirety of terrific boom, and as cheers from the joyous crowd swell above him, his mind, body, and soul fade into a blackness. And with that Alix applies the long awaited cover... CROWD & MELODY ONE CROWD & MELODY TWO WRIGHT It can not be! CROWD & MELODY THREE! The screams of glee from the girls' fellow Californians are deafening, shaking the ring to it's very core as Girlfriend returns to the audio forefront of the arena. The usually loathsome Frank, lies in perfect stillness, a hurtless corpse unaware that opportunity of a lifetime has slipped through his fingers. Melody stands above him, holding Alix's triumphant arm into the air and says in her best impression of Yoda, “Only begun the h@x warz has. L0L!!” The legendary announcer, Michael Buffer, rises to herald the victors “YOUR WINNERS AND STILL OAOAST WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS....CHICKS OVER DICKS!” Krista renters the ring to give Melody an appreciative hug, and then sweep Alix into a tight embrace. MACKENZIE I..I..I...what the hell just happened?! The Bruisers aren't supposed to lose. Not to them! No way! This wasn't planned, this isn't the way it was laid out in the board room. Explain! COLE I think you're learning what many tag teams have found out over the years, it is a very difficult if not impossible task to beat Chicks Over Dicks. Some of the best tag teams in the oaoast have fallen to them, and many have fallen multiple times. The Bruisers have once again come up short against the girls, but how will they fare when their livelyhood is placed on the line against, The Heavenly Rockers. And I guess we'll see you at Anglemania in a competitive role after all, Christian Wright? WRIGHT Frolic amongst the black parade that is The Enterprise's current mischance all you may like, Mister Cole, for that is your right. But hear this, and hear this well, what countless ill trained, ill tempered, and ill equipped thugs have failed to do, best these harlots, will be a task accomplished within mere seconds by myself and The Billion Dollar Heir, Theodore Moneymaker at Anglemania. Alix and Krista's fate, I sin by dignifying them by their names, shall be a melancholy one. Like that of a fallen civilizations now poking like splinter shards from the green grown tumulus of time swept obscurity! COLE What did he just say? MACKENZIE He said you should visit The Enterprise's website to get his latest stock tips and financial predications, and he said you're an idiot! COACH Yeah, Michael. Learn to read! The camera cuts to the lockerroom where Caboose is shown sitting down. He is putting on his wrestling gloves. The crowd cheers. Caboose has a look of determination on his face. COLE Caboose is still here! COACH And so is Vitamin X! COLE Uh-oh! Oh boy! It looks like these two men are headed for a collision course! And it might happen next! Caboose gets up, hits his right hand with his left hand, and then exits the lockerroom. * COMMERCIAL BREAK * Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted March 23, 2007 We return from commercial break with Caboose already in the ring, holding a microphone in his right hand. COLE Fans, back on HeldDOWN~!, and Caboose already has made an impact tonight, costing Vitamin X a victory in the X-Division Title tournament! We now know that it'll be "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican facing Dance Dance Dragon at AngleMania VI on April 1st for the OAOAST X-Division Championship! COACH That damn Caboose! He ruined it for everybody! Now, we won't have the pleasure of seeing an all-Lightning Crew final! Thanks a lot, Caboose! COLE Coach, I think you're the only one that was looking forward to an all-Lightning Crew final. COACH No, I wasn't. There were people. Not many. But there WERE people! COLE Right. Caboose brings the microphone to his lips. COLE I wonder what's on Caboose's mind? CABOOSE I said I was going to come to Sacramento. (CHEAP POP~!) CABOOSE And so here I am! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" *KA-CHING~!* *Come and take your Vitamin X.* The crowd boos as "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring Big Tymers and Hot Boys starts playing. COLE Oh what now!? COACH Oh yes! Business is about to pick up! The entrance doors slide open, and Thomas Rodriguez, Mr. Boricua, Cuban Wall, The Bone Thug, and Vitamin X come out. The crowd boos louder. All the members of The Lightning Crew don't look to be in a good mood. COLE Vitamin X is out here! Earlier tonight, Caboose attacked X, which led to Dance Dance Dragon defeating the X-Man and advancing to the Finals of the X-Division Title tournament at AngleMania VI. COACH Yeah! And now Caboose is going to pay for that miscarriage of justice, Cole! You watch! Vitamin X has a microphone in his right hand. He is still in his wrestling attire. He gives Caboose the McMahon SNEER~! before he speaks. "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys dies down. COACH Speak your mind, X! "X-MAN SUCKS!" "X-MAN SUCKS!" "X-MAN SUCKS!" "X-MAN SUCKS!" Caboose stares at the X-Man. VX is FURIOUS~! VITAMIN X Caboose! I don't know what in the HELL were you thinking, hitting me with a cricket bat earlier tonight! I thought you were smarter than that, Caboose, seeing as you are an OAOAST Original and all! But I guess you really have gone soft, because there's no way the Caboose of old would have knocked me out, because he would have KNOWN that The Lightning Crew would have responded! The Lightning Crew is walking down the entrance ramp. COACH Uh-oh. Uh-oh! VITAMIN X Now, I'm sure you're prepared for another Lightning Crew assault, which is why you came here tonight in the first place! But you know what? Instead of beating your ass for the third time in four weeks, how about we do something different, because your head is still hurting, and honestly, my fist is sore for punching the crap out of you two weeks ago! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Vitamin X and the rest of The Lightning Crew members enter the ring. Caboose stands guard. VX (CONT'D) So for now, let's call a truce. But it's not going to last for long, Caboose! Oh no! Oh no! You see, you cost me a chance to become X-Division Champion at AngleMania! But you know what? I'm STILL going to go to AngleMania VI! Yeah! That's right! Because, right now I am issuing you a challenge! A chance to do something you've wanted to do since March 1st! We're going to finish this once and for all like you wanted to since I beat your ass four weeks ago! At AngleMania VI, it's going to be Vitamin X vs. Caboose, one-on-one, for the First Time Ever! COLE Whoa! CABOOSE That's a nice suggestion, VX, but I know when you say one-on-one, you're full of crap! "YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" CABOOSE Don't you think I know better than that? I maybe a little older, but I'm experienced enough in the wrestling business to know that if we were to have a one-on-one match, sooner or later, The Lightning Crew would show up, pound me into oblivion, and then you would get the pinfall and then you could say that you beat an OAOAST Original at the biggest show of the year! COACH Well, that's what would have happened! CABOOSE There's no such thing as a one-on-one encounter when The Lightning Crew is involved! Not at all! So, instead of waiting for The Lightning Crew to show up, what I propose is this: in two weeks at AngleMania, I take on members of The Lightning Crew with a partner of my choice! Let's see...PRL's going to go to the Finals of the X-Division Title tournament, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez is fighting the Women's Champion, Cuban Wall is going to be involved in the Money In The Bank Battle Royal, Thomas can't wrestle, and I'm sure Princess Stacey will be by your side, X, no matter what. So, that leaves me with three Lightning Crew members left. And me and my partner will GLADLY take you three members on! So how about it, X? At AngleMania VI on April 1st, me and my partner take on you, Mr. Boricua, and The Bone Thug in a 3-on-2 Handicap Match! COLE What!? COACH He's crazy! He's absolutely crazy for suggesting this! The crowd is surpised at this announcement. Vitamin X, Mr. Boricua, Cuban Wall, The Bone Thug, and Thomas Rodriguez stare at Caboose in the ring. X is thinking this over. VITAMIN X Are you serious old man? CABOOSE You're damn right I'm serious, X! What? Are you scared to fight an old man at the biggest show of the year? Is that it? VITAMIN X No! No! No! NO! Listen, you want a 3-on-2 Handicap Match at AngleMania VI? You got it! But what I want to know is'who would possibly be stupid enough to want to be your partner? Zack Malibu is going to be busy that night, so he's out. And you don't have any other friends backstage! There's nobody on the active roster who wants to go 3-on-2 with The Lightning Crew! NO ONE! And all these idiots know this to be a fact! So, please, Caboose, tell me, who is your partner going to be at AngleMania VI? Because I want to know just who I'll ALSO destroy at AngleMania VI! The crowd buzzes in anticipation. They wonder just who Caboose's partner will be. COACH Well, who is it? Come on! Spit it out! Don't leave us hanging! Caboose has a smirk on his face. The crowd greatly awaits Caboose's answer. COLE Who's it gonna be? Who!? WHO!? The crowd is getting antsy. Caboose finally puts the microphone to his lips. CABOOSE You know, instead of me just telling you who my partner is, how about I just SHOW him to you! You see, I didn't come to the arena tonight by myself! My partner came with me too! And he wants to meet you RIGHT HERE! RIGHT NOW! *I think I'm cute I KNOW I'm sexy! I've got the looks that drive all the girls wild! I've got the moves that really move them! I'll send them chills Up and down their spines I'm just a sexy boy! (SEXY BOOYYYYYY!) I'm not your boy toy! (BOY TOYYYYYYYY!) I'm just a sexy boy! (SEXY BOOYYYYY!) I'm not your boy toy! (BOY TOYYYYYYY!)* "YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" "Sexy Boy" blares over the P.A. system, causing the crowd to erupt! COACH No! No way! The entrance doors slide open...and SOME GUY comes out! COLE He's back! Some Guy is back in the OAOAST! Some Guy looks pretty much the same as he did the last time he was in the OAOAST. Wearing a black T-shirt, blue jeans, and cowboy boots, the OAOAST Original plays to the crowd for a little bit and then stares at the people in the ring. Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, and The Bone Thug prepare for battle, while Thomas Rodriguez quickly leaves the ring. COLE Oh my! Some Guy is back! And he will be Caboose's partner at AngleMania VI! SG points a menacing finger at The LC members, and then runs down the entrance ramp and slides into the ring! The brawl is on! COLE And here we go! A preview of what we can expect in two weeks! "Sexy Boy" dies down. Caboose takes on Vitamin X, while Some Guy battles The Bone Thug! Mr. Boricua wants some, and gets some in return! Cuban Wall tries to attack, and he gets hit too! The crowd is going nuts as Caboose and Some Guy are in control of the four Lightning Crew members! COACH Am I seeing things? Are Caboose and Some Guy actually BEATING The Lightning Crew!?!?!? COLE You're not seeing things, Coach! Caboose and Some Guy have the advantage! Caboose's punches daze Vitamin X. Some Guy knocks Bone Thug off his feet with several right jabs! The Bone Thug rolls out of the ring to recuperate. Some Guy then switches back and forth punching Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua! The two big men of The Lightning Crew are stunned, so Some Guy simply grabs their heads and slams them together! Boricua and Wall fall down onto the mat and roll out of the ring! COLE Caboose and Some Guy are dominating The Lightning Crew tonight on HeldDOWN~! Caboose is still punching Vitamin X! 'Boose tells SG something. He then whips VX right into Some Guy, who hits Vitamin X with a Superkick! COLE SomeKick! SomeKick! Vitamin X is down! The crowd cheers some more! Some Guy and Caboose stare down at the fallen Prince Vitamin. Both men smile. SG then tells Caboose to do something. Caboose nods his head. 'Boose stands over Vitamin X...and kicks his right hand onto his chest. COACH Oh no! Oh no! Not this! The crowd comes alive! Caboose does some weird hand signals, which Some Guy also does. Caboose bounces off the ropes, jumps over VX, and then bounces off the opposite ropes. He then looks at the crowd, and drops the Rafter's Elbow! COACH Oh my God! He hit it! He hit the Rafter's Elbow! COLE I can't remember the last time he hit that! "YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Caboose and Some Guy play to the crowd. The crowd cheers! Cuban Wall grabs Vitamin X and pulls him out of the ring onto the outside. Wall, Mr. Boricua, and Bone Thug are holding their heads in pain. Cuban Wall drags a dazed and confused Vitamin X up the entrance ramp along with the rest of The Lightning Crew. COLE Oh man! What a moment! Some Guy, after an 18-month absence, is BACK! He is BACK in the OAOAST! And he WILL be at AngleMania VI on April 1st! COACH Oh poo! I should have thought of that! I knew if anybody would want to team with Caboose, it would be another OAOAST Original! COLE The Lightning Crew is shocked! They weren't prepared for this! They thought they were going to only deal with Caboose, NOT Some Guy! COACH This AngleMania just got a whole lot more interesting! Some Guy grabs the microphone. SOME GUY Hey! Hey! Hey Lightning Crew! You better be careful with who you mess with! The crowd cheers. SOME GUY (CONT'D) Yeah. Because I am BACK in the One And Only AngleSault Thread, and I'm ready for AngleMania VI! And YOU better be ready for the ass kicking you're going to get, courtesy of Caboose AND the Original Showstopper, SOME GUY! More cheers. SOME GUY There's gonna be no more sneak attacks! No more 4-on-1 fights! I have Caboose's back, and together, we will walk out of the Toronto SkyDome victorious! AngleMania VI will be a day you will NEVER EVER FORGET, VITAMIN X! Get ready for the ASS KICKING OF A LIFETIME! Now hit my music! "Sexy Boy" starts playing again. Some Guy high fives Caboose. The crowd is still going crazy. Some Guy and Caboose stare at Vitamin X, Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, The Bone Thug, and Thomas Rodriguez, who are all walking up the entrance ramp, IN ANGER~! Vitamin X talks trash about Caboose as he walks. His face is red. COLE The Road To AngleMania VI just got a whole lot better! We are 10 days away from the biggest show of the year! And on that show, Caboose and Some Guy will team up to take on the team of Vitamin X, Mr. Boricua, and The Bone Thug in a 3-on-2 Handicap Match! What a match that's going to be at AngleMania VI! COACH Oh man! Some Guy is back! Talk about the right partner for Caboose! Vitamin X and his guys better be ready! COLE That's right! Because Some Guy and Caboose are ready for The Lightning Crew at AngleMania! Another marquee match added to the already impressive AngleMania card! Caboose and Some Guy vs. Vitamin X, Mr. Boricua, and The Bone Thug in a 3-on-2 Handicap Match! It's going to happen, and it's going to happen at OAOAST AngleMania VI: Etched In Stone, Sunday April 1st, LIVE only on pay-per-view! Fans, thank you for tuning in to tonight's HeldDOWN~! For Jonathan "Da Coach" Coachman, and CABOOSE! This is Michael Cole saying good night, and we'll see you next week for the final show before AngleMania VI! Good night everybody! Caboose and Some Guy continue looking at The Lightning Crew who are on the entrance stage. The two OAOAST Originals play to the crowd. Caboose and Some Guy standing side by side in the ring, smiling with the OAOAST AngleMania VI logo behind them is the last image we see before we fade to black as "Sexy Boy" continues playing. FADE OUT Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KingPK 0 Report post Posted March 23, 2007 (edited) Written by: KingPK Tony149 Ed Wood Caulfield Alfdogg Zack Malibu King Cucaracha Patty O'Green Director/Boob Inspector/3x Dateline: To Catch A Predator participant: KingPK © 2007 OAOAST Entertainment. All rights reserved. Edited March 23, 2007 by KingPK Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
