Tony149 0 Report post Posted March 28, 2007 (edited) You break the laws You hustle, you deal, you steal from us all Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Money talks “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” With CPA providing security, Mackenzie DeCenzo leads the team of Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright to the ring. Rubbing his thumb and middle fingers together, Moneymaker pauses to observe a plump female admirer of COD, his and Wright‘s opponents at AngleMania. THEODORE :lol: COLE (disgusted sigh) What a miserable human being. COACH Hey, that’s no way to speak about our future tag team champions. COLE We’ll see in 3 days at AngleMania VI. They have the talent to be champions, no question, but their attitudes leave plenty to be desired. * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 15-minute time limit. Introducing first, alongside their Chief Financial Officer MACKENZIE DECENZO and Director of Security CHRISTOPHER PATRICK ALLEN, otherwise known as CPA...representing THE ENTERPRISE, weighing in tonight at a combined weight of 462 pounds, the 2007 Anderson Cup champions... "THE NATURAL" CHRISTIAN WRIGHT and "THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR" THEODORE MMMOOOONNEYMAKER!!! Wright and Moneymaker pose for the cameras as their names are announced, then remove their jackets and loosen up, with CW handing possession of his trusty briefcase to Mackenzie, who passes it along to CPA for safe keeping. The light dims and the crowd explodes as “Heart-Shaped Box” begins to blare over the loud speakers. It’s followed by the arrival of the Heavenly Rockers and Holly-Wood on the multi-colored lit stage. BUFFER And their opponents, accompanied by HOLLY-WOOD! Hailing from Sin City, Las Vegas, Nevada... at a total combined weight of 462 pounds... the GREATEST Rock 'n' Wrestling band of AAAAALLLL time... THE HHHEEEEEAAAAAAVVVEEEEEEEENNLLLLLLYYYYYYYYY RRRRRROOOOOOOOOCCKKEEEEEEERRRRRRRSSSSSSS!!!! “YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Logan escorts Holly up the ring steps as Synth bangs his head to the music. COLE Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright have their work cut out for them going up against the former OAOAST World tag team champions, the Heavenly Rockers, who in 3 nights will face the Sooner Bruisers in the much talked about Sin City street fight where the loser must leave town for 90 days. COACH It’s going to be a rough 3 day period for the Heavenly Rockers, or should I say 93 day period? First they lose tonight and then Sunday night at AngleMania VI. I hope Holly has some hidden talent, because she’s going to be forced to bring home the bacon once her husband finds himself and his slacker friend out of work. [i][font="Arial Black"][color="#FF00FF"]Hey, hey, you, you I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one Hey, hey, you, you I could be your girlfriend![/I] COLE Could it be? [I]Hey, hey, you, you! I know that you like me! No way, no way! No, it's not a secret Hey, hey, you, you!! I want to be your girlfriend![/color][/font][/i] The ovation Synth and Logan received is nothing compared to that of Chicks Over Dicks, the dynamic female duo of Krista Isadora Duncan and Alix Maria Spezia, OAOAST World tag team champions. COLE Yes! C.O.D., America's Sweethearts, are here live! Sporting a business suit that screams female empowerment, the Notorious K-I-D and her bubbly partner head towards the world renowned Sofa Central for an impromptu visit. Wright and Moneymaker, along with Mackenzie, disturbed by the unwelcome guests. COLE Welcome, ladies. What brings you here tonight? KRISTA Well, Todd… COLE Michael. KRISTA Huh? COLE You called me Todd. My name is Michael. KRISTA (death stare) … COLE (clear throats) But you can call me anything you want. KRISTA So your boyfriend tells me. Coach stifles laughter completely once he notices Krista eye-balling him. KRISTA To answer your question, Todd, Alix and I figured we’d lend some constructive criticism to our opponents at AngleMania, much like they did during our match last week. ALIX I’d also like to plug the latest line of baked goods created by Mrs. Spezia’s Cookies. The Super Duper Winnie Cooper Far East and Far Out Fudge Chocolate Sunday cookie. Guaranteed to cause a million more obese children in a year. I make them fat and send them off to Krista to lose weight. KRISTA Shh, that’s supposed to be our little secret. ALIX Darn, darn, darn. Forgot. Despite the girls presence ringside Wright and Moneymaker remain focused on the task in front of them, the Heavenly Rockers, former OAOAST World tag team champions and the recipients of a pair of high-fives from Holly-Wood. Not to be outdone, following a brief consultation with Mackenzie, Theodore and Christian receive a peck on the cheek. ALIX WHORE!! COLE So, ladies, are you by any chance fans of the Heavenly Rockers? KRISTA Yawn. Next question. ALIX I love, love, love, love the Heavenly Rockers. Oh my god, I have all their records. Holly is, like, soooo freaking hot, I can't believe it. She’s Krista without the ‘tude, dude. On the subject of dudes, Logan is a hella lucky one to hook up with that super hot female, and he‘s a hottie-tottie himself. Doesn't he remind you of Lenny Kravitz? But, without, like being Nicole Kidman's sloppy thirds. Which is why I would never let anyone I know hook up with Tom Cruise. Oh, and I wouldn't them to risk carrying the spawn of the antichrist. * DINGDINGDING * Opening for the Heavenly Rockers, Logan Usher Mann, who’ll match-up against Christian Wright AND Theodore Moneymaker, until Moneymaker informs CW of his decision to start the match. The company man that he is, Wright obliges to his boss’s request and exits. COACH That tells you the type of personnel Teddy employs. He wants men and women who will do what’s best for the company not in their self interest. Christian Wright is the ultimate team player. KRISTA By Jesus, will somebody please hand Coach a tissue? There's still some of Christian's baby gravy on his chin. Boy, it sure was nice of Wright to let you wash down that beef burrito he served with a piping hot swig of his pale-ale. ALIX Buh-zing! COACH Yeah, real funny, Krista. So funny I forgot to laugh. But I have a feeling you and Alix won’t be cracking too many jokes come Monday morning, girl. Moneymaker wipes his hands on the side of his trunks and leans in, locking horns with Logan Mann. They jockey for position, tossing and turning each other in the ropes. With neither man able to gain the advantage referee Nick Patrick calls for the break. Everyone in the arena hold their breath as Theodore meticulously slides his head and arms down the body of Logan, but Moneymaker has no tricks up his sleeves and actually breaks cleanly. Not Mann, however. He spikes the point of the elbow square between Teddy’s eyes, decking the Billion Dollar Heir, and then catches Wright stepping through the ropes with a running axe handle smash upside the head! COLE You think Logan’s ready for AngleMania? In his mind he’s in there with the Sooner Bruisers right now. I hope Big Frank and Uber are watching, because this is what they’re in store for Sunday night in Toronto. Logan plays to the crowd and pays for it, clubbed in the back of the head by Moneymaker. In a veteran move for a rookie, Theodore baits Synth inside, allowing him and CW to put the boots to Mann as the referee deals with an irate Heavenly Rocker. COLE Earlier I spoke of what’s in store for the Sooner Bruisers at AngleMania VI, well, that’s what you ladies will have to deal with in your title defense against Wright and Moneymaker -- the illegal double-teaming and the presence of Mackenzie DeCenzo and CPA outside. COACH Yeah, get a load of that. KRISTA Speaking of load, there’s [i]still[/i] some *ahem* leftovers around your mouth from the mid day snack Christian treated you to. As for Bill and Warren, they better have every trick in the book handy on Sunday because mama needs a couple of extra million to pay for the physical education center I’m building in France. And these tag belts rake in a few mill on their own, so along with a winner’s purse at AngleMania the project will be paid for by the end of the-- Oh, EAT ME, BITCH! Referring to Mackenzie DeCenzo, who antagonizes COD from the confines of the Enterprise corner. CPA rushes to her side when Krista rises from her seat at Sofa Central, as do the fans in anticipation of a possible catfight. COLE Krista, please, calm down. Take a few minutes to cool off. ALIX I told ya you shoulda had drink service out here! And I'm supposed to be the emotionally unstable one in the relationship? In college I would just shoot her with tranqulizer darts, but her skin has developed some kind of immunity over time. Hiding behind the broad shoulders of CPA, Mackie blows Krista a kiss, prompting the Queen of Fitness to grab her crotch area. Inside the squared circle, a tag has been made. Theodore Moneymaker replaced by Christian Wright as the legal man. The transition is smooth, as Wright picks up where he and Moneymaker left off, stomping away on Logan Mann. The Natural backs Mann into the ropes and rocks his world with a combination of European Uppercuts and knife-edge chops, then sends him off to the far side, snapping Mann over in a power slam! ONE… TWO… But only two. CW requests the services of Teddy, and together they lift Logan overhead for a double suplex…but Synth is able to grab both of his legs on the way over and helps guide Mann down to his feet. Their reaction time delayed by the sudden turn of events, Wright and Moneymaker are the victims of stereo hangman’s neck breakers! Double pin! ONE… TWO… DOUBLE KICKOUT! If Wright and Moneymaker are seeing double it’s because they’re being double-teamed. The Heavenly Rockers whip Teddy into the ropes, and the Billion Dollar Heir finds himself flat on his back thanks to a double backdrop, then outside courtesy of a DOUBLE SYNCHRONIZED DROPKICK! Unbeknownst to Wright he’s all alone with the greatest rock ‘n’ wrestling band of all-time. CW staggers around before bumping into Synth, then Logan. A look of shock and awe in his eyes, the 2006 Rookie of the Year is fired off to the ropes and given his own STUN GUN~! “YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE They hit Wright with his own move! Incredible! But they’re not done yet. Synth is officially tagged in, and he slams CW before climbing onto the middle turnbuckle…SECOND ROPE ELBOW DROP!! COACH You’d think given their history the Heavenly Rockers would know better than to infringe on somebody else’s copyright. COLE Synth isn’t infringing on anything. We’ve seen him utilize that maneuver on countless occasions. ONE… TWO… THREE-- NO!! Theodore, with the aid of CPA, pulls Christian out of harm’s way. Or so they believe. The Synthmeister comes barreling through the ropes and onto the male members of the Enterprise, bringing the fans out of their seats. Mackenzie watches on in horror as Synth sprints over to Sofa Central and jams with Alix. SYNTH & ALIX (playing air guitar) :headbang: :headbang: COLE Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve just been informed we have got to take a commercial break. The tape machines are rolling. If the match ends during the break we’ll show you the conclusion on replay. * COMMERICAL * We return from break just in time to see Theodore Moneymaker challenge Logan Mann to a test of strength. But Mann first seeks the crowd’s opinion. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE And we’re back live on TSM. Thank you for staying with us, ladies and gentlemen. Michael Cole and The Coach alongside the OAOAST World tag team champions Chicks Over Dicks, and re-joined by Krista Isadora Duncan who has finally cooled down after a near physical confrontation with one Mackenzie DeCenzo. KRISTA Hate, is a strong word, but I really, really, really, don't like that bitch. At least I readily admit I’m one. But Mackenzie…ooh, she just makes my blood boil. Like a female George W. COACH That’s funny. I thought you loved [I]bush[/I]. Buh-zing that! KRISTA Hey Coach… COACH Yeah? KRISTA You’re an asshole. Just like Ned Blanchard. Hear that Ned? YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE!! COLE Krista, we’re live. KRISTA In the immortal words of Shaquille O’Neal, “I don’t give a shit.” Although the crowd begs him not to, Logan chooses to locks hands with Theodore, and is promptly kicked in the gut. A series of right hands leave Mann wobbly, to the point where he nearly falls out through the ropes on his own! * CHOP * “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” * CHOP * “WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The sound of Teddy’s palm meeting Logan’s chest reverberates throughout the arena, cracking up the Billion Dollar Heir, who paint-brushes Mann insultingly. “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH!” That wakes up Logan. Moneymaker realizes what he has done and begins backpedaling immediately. But Logan grabs a hold of Teddy and works him over in the corner with left and right jabs to the face and body. Whipped across the ring Moneymaker shoots out of the corner and into a backdrop. COLE Logan showing no ill effects from the sprained knee suffered a few weeks ago. ALIX Jinx! Sure enough, Logan’s knee buckles upon impact after nailing Theodore with a top rope double axe handle smash. Yet he still manages to make the cover! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Noticeably in discomfort Logan signals for a tag. Wright spots it and dives inside, clipping Mann’s leg! He tries to disguise his evil intentions by claiming he was merely searching for a lost contact, even though he doesn’t wear any, but the referee sees through that charade and tears into CW. COLE Christian Wright deserving every bit the brow-beating being given to him by referee Nick Patrick. Such a blatant cheap shot. ALIX Random observation, but is it just me or is Christian a dead ringer for Angelina Jolie’s son Maddox? In adulthood I mean, he’s still a kid right now. Tell me you see it, Krissy. Oh, please tell me, I need others to validate opinion to maintain my fragile sense of self worth! KRISTA Meh. ALIX (discouraged) Oh, poo. Moneymaker slithers to the corner like the snake that he is and tags out. The leg of Logan Mann now the target as Wright smashes the limb repeatedly against the ringpost, twisting it in the most grotesque angle imaginable! CW methodical in his attack, almost assumed by the pain currently being endured by Logan Mann. He stares long and hard at COD before dropping a string of elbows onto Mann’s leg., scissoring it afterwards. KRISTA Don’t you dare stare at me, Wright. I’ll wring your neck the way I did Ned’s once I gathered the LA chapter of dykes on bikes and tracked him down after he went on the run upon hearing the news I was pregnant. You don't truly know hell until a leathery Dustin Hoffman with breasts bust down your motel door at two AM. Nor do you know hell until you've stuck your tounge down said woman's throat. But a deal is a deal, I guess. ALIX Yeah, didn’t your mother teach you anything, adult Maddox? “LET’S GO LOGAN!” clap*clap*clap*clap*clap “LET’S GO LOGAN!” clap*clap*clap*clap*clap “LET’S GO LOGAN!” clap*clap*clap*clap*clap Holly and Synth rally the crowd behind Logan, who feeds off the adrenaline, pumping his fists as he attempts to escape from the clutches of Christian Wright. The Natural holding onto Mann’s leg as tightly as possible, but he has no defense for the EYE GOUGE! KRISTA Price gouging in its most barbaric form. COACH Isn’t anybody going to object to this illegal act of aggression? KRISTA No. ALIX Not really. COLE I’m afraid to say anything that might upset Krista. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Logan escapes, but more trouble lies ahead in the form of the SOONER BRUISERS. COLE What are they doing here? COACH I’d ask the same about COD. Unlike Wright and Moneymaker, who have managed to stay clam in the presence of COD, Synth and Logan are unable to contain their emotions. Logan asking Synth to protect Holly as he dares Big Frank and/or to step inside. But it’s Mann who goes out to them, as Moneymakers connects with a knee to the spine of the back, and the Bruisers unload on Mann! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE There’s no need for that, damn it! As Wright and Moneymaker hold a conversation with the official, the Synthmeister rushes to his partner’s aid but is soon overwhelmed by the powerhouse tag team. Once they take care of the Heavenly Rockers, Big Frank and Uber turn their attention to Holly-Wood. COLE Oh, my God, no. The Bruisers continue to stalk Holly, but she’s ready for a fight, standing tall. Until Mackenzie grabs her from behind. Just when it appears all is lost, COD come to her aid. “YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE COD here to even the odds! Wanting no part of COD, Mackenzie tosses Holly aside and hides for cover. She might not want any of COD, but Krista sure as hell wants a piece of her. CPA protects the brains behind the brawn over the Enterprise, but if you think that scares Krista, you got another thing coming. She takes a swing at the big black man, who swats her hand away and shoves her into a clothesline from Theodore Moneymaker! Alix goes to help but CW comes around the corner with a devastating SPEAR! COACH Who’s laughing now, girls? Huh? I love it, Mikey. About time somebody put COD in their place. The Sooner Bruisers join in on a 4-on-2 attack as Nick Patrick administers the 10 count. He reaches 8 when the Heavenly Rockers fly through and over the top rope, wiping out both rule breaking duos! “YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE With total disregard for their bodies, Synth and Logan take to the air and play a heavenly tune on the Sooner Bruisers and Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright. All hell breaks loose as the referee loses control. After numerous attempts to restore order fails, he calls for the bell. * DINGDINGDING * “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE I think both teams just got disqualified. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your attention, please. I have just been informed, due to the utter chaos outside the ring, this match has been ruled a DOUBLE DISQUALIFICATION! “BULLSHIT!” “BULLSHIT!” “BULLSHIT!” The match may be over, but the fighting isn’t. OAOAST officials swarming ringside to separate all 4 teams involved in huge matches at AngleMania. COLE Is this is anything like the action we’ll see Sunday in Toronto, then AngleMania VI will be a night “Etched in Stone.” Edited March 28, 2007 by Patty O'Green Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
