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King Cucaracha

HD: CPA vs. Bosley

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"You break the laws
You hustle, you deal, you steal from us all
Come on come on, lovin' for the money
Come on come on, listen to the Money talk
Come on come on, lovin' for the money
Come on come on, listen to the Money talk
Money talks"

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COACH
Oh boy!

COLE
Well, this should be most interesting.

AC/DC's "Money Talks" brings the crowd to their feet, eager to show off their fancy signs and banners (why do people always use bright green and bright pink!?), most of which reading along the lines of 'Why Jade, Why'. And with a little patience they may just find out, as The Enterprise pile out through the entrance doors en mass, including their newest acquisition. Jade looks distinctly different from when we last saw her, sporting a new hair colour and clad in a less than glamorous tracksuit she walks in between Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright at the front of the group. The Beverly Hills Blonds in their pastel blue suits and Mackenzie DeCenzo follow after them. And at the back of the group, the bigman, Christopher Patrick Allen marches with his head held high.

BUFFER
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome... THE ENTERPRISE!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COLE
Well, technically The Enterprise had a less than impressive night last week at AngleMania, coming out 0 for 3. But as Theodore Moneymaker will claim to anyone willing to listen, The Enterprise came away with a psychological victory after their 'recruitment' of Jade Rodez. And hopefully we're going to get an explanation here tonigh as to why Jade has basically turned her back on everyone and everything she held close to her, to join up with Moneymaker and co.

COACH
What explanation do you need? It's all about the benjamins Cole, THAT'S the only explanation you need!

The Enterprise converge on the ring and assemble in front of the booing crowd, the ring looking pretty full with the now seven Enterprise members. Dismissing Michael Buffer, Theodore Moneymaker takes the microphone and signals for the music to be cut, the booing that replaces it not bothering him in the slightest.


Just the opposite infact.

MONEYMAKER
:D

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COACH
They certainly don't look like losers, huh Mikey?

MONEYMAKER
Like music to my ears! Isn't it ironic, that rather than laugh The Enterprise out of the arena tonight, you impoverished Canadians are on your feet showing your jealousy just like all the other nine-to-fivers around the world? Isn't it ironic? I'm sure six days ago, you were all laughing away to yourselves at my expense. Chicks Over Dicks are still the OAOAST World Tag Team Champions. D*LUX are still the HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions. The Enterprise didn't win the gold at AngleMania. And yet, you people can't rub our faces in our own mess, because you realise that I possess more gold in my stately Money Manor than Fort Knocks itself!

"C - O - D!"
"C - O - D!"
"C - O - D!"
"C - O - D!"

The crowd rise to chant the initials of the still Tag Team Champions. But even that can't campen The Enterprise's spirits.

MONEYMAKER
Then, you thought you could laugh at our expenses again, when my Directory Of Security Christopher Patrick Allen was eliminated from the Battle Royal. And yet, again, you people can't rub our faces in that either, because you realise that The Billion Dollar Heir has more Money In The Bank than even my close personal friend Donald Trump has! MUWAHAHAHAHA!!

"C - O - D!"
"C - O - D!"
"C - O - D!"
"C - O - D!"

MONEYMAKER
You see, you people can chant 'COD' all you want. But the fact is, COD aren't here and The Enterprise are. Why? Because right now, they're ASHAMED! They are ashamed, shame that cannot be consoled even with those OAOAST Tag Team Titles. They thought they could rub mine and Christian's faces into our defeat at AngleMania. And yet, it is they that are too ashamed to show their faces tonight! There will be no 30 minute monologues from those two gutter dwellers here in Vancouver. Because one way or another last night, they learnt one very valuable lesson, just like each and every single one of you nickel n' dimers did... MONEY TALKS!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COLE
Sounds like these people don't agree.

COACH
Well, they have to pay for things in Canadian dollars, what do they really know about money?

MONEYMAKER
Money Talks and BS Walks! I know that! Ned Blanchard and Simon Singleton know that. Mackenzie DeCenzo knows that. They live the lifestyle they were born to lead, thanks to my wealth! Christian Wright knows that. His career has never been more promising than it has since joining up with The Enterprise! CPA knows that. His life has taken an upturn from the days of dealing with the great un-washed outside grotty nightclubs. Now, he frequents the VIP sections instead of just watching the door. And now, Jade Rodez knows what we all know!

A warm round of applause sparks up from The Blonds and Mackenzie. Jade just continues to look ahead at nothing or no-one in particular, sullen.

"D - LUX!"
"D - LUX!"
"D - LUX!"
"D - LUX!"

MONEYMAKER
Jade Rodez realised that Money Talks! And the sooner each and every one of those never-were, never-will-be also-rans in that OAOAST locker room realise that, the better it will be for them. We sent a message to the world on Sunday night, that Money Talks, no matter WHO you are! No matter how 'honourable' you misguided, deluded blood-sucking fans believe your favourite 'superstar' is... no matter how much you cheer for them like the lemmings that you are... sooner or later, Money Talks for EVERYBODY! And tonight...

Moneymaker ducks into the crowd of associated and leads CPA into the front.

MONEYMAKER
Tonight, you're all gonna get another lesson in the power of the almighty Billion Dollars! MUWHAHAHAHAHA! Bring out the jaybrone who thinks they can beat my man!

Moneymaker drops the microphone and as the rest of The Enterprise begin to leave the ring...


"You say its urgent
Make it fast, make it urgent
Do it quick, do it urgent
Gotta rush, make it urgent"

..."Urgent" by Foreigner hits, bringing out the team from The OAOAST First Responders Unit, Rescue 911! EMT Tim marches behind Officer Bosley, who is the one dressed and ready to compete tonight. But both 911ers dish out the handslaps to the fans regardless.

COLE
Well, ahead of this match we caught up with Officer Bosley for some comments, let's hear what he had to say...


[COLOR=orange][i]OAOAST[/i][/COLOR]

A small square box SWOOPS~ in and settles on the upper right hand side of the picture. There, Officer Bosley and EMT Tim stand in front of a grey OAOAST backdrop.

OFFICER BOSLEY
You know, myself and my partner EMT Tim Cash here have dealt with Mr. Moneymaker's greed and gluttony before. But even we were stunned at the actions of The Enterprise last Sunday night at AngleMania. Myself and Tim live by 3 basic principles: Serve the public's trust, protect the innocent, and uphold the law. Well, Theodore Moneymaker, you have continued to refuse to live by the standards and the practises that we uphold. You have broken the public's trust in what is fair and good. You have floughted the law. And where-as we look to protect the innocent, you exploit them. Well tonight Mr. Moneymaker, you and your cohorts are going to learn that crime doesn't pay!

EMT TIM
And to all you kids out there watching: remember, be good to your families.

[COLOR=orange][i]HELDDOWN~![/COLOR][/i]

Back to live action and Officer Bosley has stripped of his entrance attire and is ready to go. On the apron, Moneymaker whispers some last minute instructions in his Director Of Security's ear and pats him on the shoulder before joining the rest of his Enterprise on the floor.

COACH
Man alive, what a cornball this Bosley is!

COLE
He's an upstanding citizen, which is more than I can say for the six people gathered around the corner in front of us... well, five. I don't know what to make of Jade's involvement. Hell, that speech from Moneymaker didn't explain anything!

COACH
Sure it did. Money Talks. Do I have to draw you a diagram or something?


*DINGDINGDING!*

The bell sounds at referee Brian Hebner's call and CPA stalks towards Officer Bosley straight away. Bosley circles, trying to keep out of reach of the ex-bouncer. But he soon finds himself cornered and his eyes dart around looking for an escape, trying to dodge out left. Allen catches him though, barging him back into the corner, so Bosley tries to sneak out left. Same result, CPA simply manhandling the 265 pounder and rearing back ready to deliver a right hand. Which allows Bosley a window of escape, crawling out through CPA's legs and catching him as he turns around with a right of his own! Another! Three, four, five, Officer Bosley dishing out his own brand of justice tonight!

"YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

The crowd need little encouragement to get behind Bosley, especially with the rest of The Enterprise within earshot. Moneymaker looks a little anxious as Bosley whips CPA across the ring into the opposite corner. Turning on his heels, Bosley then follows in... but CPA gets his boot up! And as the Officer staggers backwards, CPA explodes out of the corner with a thundering clothesline!!

MONEYMAKER
:D

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

COLE
No finesse from Christopher Patrick Allen there.

COACH
He's not hired for finesse. He's hired to kick some ass and that's exactly what he does, else he wouldn't be on Theodore Moneymaker's payroll!

CPA drags Bosley up by the hair and just HEADBUTTS him right in the side of the head! Into the corner falls Bosley, leant up against the middle turnbuckle, Moneymaker marching around ringside and putting the badmouth on the Officer! EMT Tim sees this and thinks about doing something about it, but he's woefully out-numbered and thinks better of it.

COLE
Intimidation tactics here from The Enterprise. I really don't see why any of these outside parties should even be at ringside, but I guess the referee feels it best to just get on with things.

Again dragged up by the hair, Bosley is simply scooped and slammed in the centre of the ring by Christopher Patrick Allen. Now it's Ned leaning through the ropes and adding his own commentary to proceedings, as CPA backs off the ropes and drops a big elbow across the chest, leaning into a cover...


1...




2...




No!

"9 - 1 - 1!"
"9 - 1 - 1!"
"9 - 1 - 1!"
"9 - 1 - 1!"

On the outside EMT Tim starts up the chant in hopes of encouraging his partner, the Vancouver crowd jumping all over the chant the moment The Enterprise try and stop it. Meanwhile CPA whips Bosley off the ropes, lazily throwing his arm out with a clothesline. He doesn't reckon on Bosley's speed though as he ducks underneath and shoots back off the ropes, soaring through the air with a Diving Clothesline that knocks the bigman off his feet!

"YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

COLE
There we go, a little bit of encouragement from Bosley!

Climbing back to his feet, Bosley waits on CPA, encouraging him to get back to his feet. Around turns CPA, right into a dropkick from the Officer! A second dropkick puts CPA down as soon as he reaches his feet! And a third time CPA gets dropped, Bosley pumping his fist as the adrenaline begins to flow! Moneymaker pounds the apron, yelling at CPA to get it together as he turns into Bosley, aiming high with a Roundhouse Kick... BLOCKED! Allen catches the leg over his shoulder and hauls Bosley up onto his shoulders for a Powerbomb...



...but Bosley leans back and COUNTERS with a Hurricanrana, reaching back for the legs...


1...






2...







NO!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Bosley looks suprised but doesn't question his fellow dictator of the law Brian Hebner. He again encourages CPA to his feet, brushing past him on his way to the ropes as he springboards to the middle rope and soars backwards for the elbow...


...CAUGHT...




...and DUMPED right on the back of his head, as CPA counters the elbow with a big back suplex!!

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

COLE
MAN! What a suplex from the bigman! He folded Bosley up on that one!

The Enterprise (apart from Jade) all applaud that one, as Bosley uncoils and lies motionless on the canvas. CPA shows little emotion though as he lifts Bosley right back up and dumps him into the ropes. This time on the rebound there's no signs of evasion from Bosley, as he gets scooped up into CPA's arms and drilled with a big-time Powerslam, dead centre in the middle of the ring!

"TED - DY SUCKS!"
"TED - DY SUCKS!"
"TED - DY SUCKS!"
"TED - DY SUCKS!"

The Vancouver crowd get on Moneymaker's back for his celebrations over the move, CPA seemingly toying with the Officer now as he neglects to make a pin.

COACH
We didn't see much of it at AngleMania, but now we're seeing what CPA has to offer. Two big moves have totally turned the tide of this match.

COLE
Yes, Officer Bosley may be a tag team wrestler but he's still a 6'5, 265 pound opponent, that CPA looks about to put the finishing touches on.

"LE - ON!"
"LE - ON!"
"LE - ON!"
"LE - ON!"

Peeling Bosley up off the canvas, CPA grabs him in a gutwrench. On the outside Moneymaker nods his head and Simon gives the signal that it's OVAH~! as CPA then deadlifts Bosley up onto his shoulder, carrying him around for just a couple of seconds before dropping to his knees and pancaking Bosley down to the canvas with the Dominator!!

COACH
DAMN!

From there, it's academic, The Enterprise counting along...


1...






2...







3!!

*DINGDINGDING!*

COACH
Impressive!

Marching up the ring steps, applause rains down on CPA from Moneymaker as he enters the ring. CPA stands over Bosley, looking down at the Officer, as he earns pats on the back all around.

BUFFER
Your winner of the match... Christopher Patrick Allen, C... P... A!!!

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Bosley is rolled out of the ring and tended to by EMT Tim, who certainly chose the right profession in his partner's eyes right now, as The Enterprise continue to lord it up in the ring. Demanding the microphone, Moneymaker grins from ear to ear as the music fades again.

MONEYMAKER
Just another example... Money Talks, B.S Walks!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

"Money Talks" hits again to the roaring jeers of the crowd. The Enterprise congratulate each other on a job well done, odd considering CPA did all the work, high-fiving and back-slapping all round before the group begin to make their way back to what will no doubt be a lavish celebration party. Jade is helped lady-like from the apron as is Mackenzie, Moneymaker pointing up to where EMT Tim is helping Bosley to the back and starting up one last laugh from the group.

COLE
The Enterprise at their pompous best here tonight here on our 5th Anniversary. And we are still no closer to knowing just why Jade Rodez turned her back and joined the ranks, no explanation. Jade strangely quiet here tonight.

COACH
The work you're looking for is dignified.

COLE
Oh please! I still want to know how she justifies herself, alligning herself with Theodore Moneymaker. Alligning herself with The Beverly Hills Blonds and Mackenzie DeCenzo, after all they've done to her in the past and the total humiliation they subjected her to when she was forced to be Ned's slave for 90 days! Why? That's what I want to know! And don't give me that 'Money Talks' nonsense, no amount of money could be enough to justify her actions!

COACH
Not even billions of dollars?

COLE
Well, I'd like to think not.

COACH
Then you're as deluded as these people that Teddy's trying to teach his lesson to. Money makes the world go around! Jade just realised that, that's all.

COLE
Well, in that case she's not the level-headed young girl we all thought she was. More to come here on HeldDOWN~!...

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