Tony149 0 Report post Posted May 2, 2007 (edited) BUFFER Wrestling fans, the following contest, sanctioned by HI-YAH Promotions and the OAOAST, is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the HI-YAH tag team championship! Fall Out Boy’s “Thriller” hits and the crowd goes crazy, bringing a smile to Melody Nerdly’s face as she leads her terrific twosome to the squared circle. BUFFER First, the challengers…from San Antonio, Texas, totaling 497 pounds, JOCK MULLIGAN and BARON WINDELS…THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGERS! And they are accompanied everyone’s favorite gal pal MELODY NERDLY! “YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!” The guys hand Melody their accessories and go through their last minute routine as they await their opponents. COLE A reminder, ladies and gentlemen, this bout is being contested under HI-YAH rules. Instead of the traditional 10 count there will be a 20 count, and throwing your opponent over the top rope is an automatic disqualification. Now back to Michael Buffer. Easy lover She'll get a hold on you believe it Like no other Before you know it you'll be on your knees The soothing sound of Phil Collins' "Easy Lover" fills the air as Rico de Janeiro swaggers onto the stage stroking his 70s porn ‘stache. “Sweet” Lucius Soul pops out behind him, puffing out his afro. BUFFER Their opponents and champions, weighing in tonight at a total combined weight of 410 pounds, RICO DE JANEIRO and "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL...THE MARDI GRAS HHHOOOOMMEEWRECKING CREW! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The always confident pair are even more so now that they hold the HI-YAH tag team championship. Once inside the ring, referee Charles Robinson asks for possession of the titles. Rico and Lucius oblige, but not before Soul gives his belt a French Quarter kiss! COACH How can you not love those guys, Cole? COLE Simple. They’re arrogant. And home wreckers! It’s the very reason they’ve gotten themselves in hot water with the Heavenly Rockers. Rico made unsolicited advances towards Logan’s wife Holly-Wood and to say he’s pissed would be an understatement. Thank goodness the Lone Star Gunslingers were there for Holly. Who knows what Rico would’ve done had they not shown up. COACH Oh, please. Haven’t you ever heard of supply and demand? Besides, Holly’s the one who started flirting with Rico. She’s obviously playing hard to get with her combative attitude. Of course you wouldn’t know since you’re from Venus. * DINGDINGDING * Rico de Janeiro and Baron Windels get things going for their respective teams, and Rico starts off strong by utilizing a Greco-Roman knuckle lock to cheap shot Baron, kicking the 6’7” Texan in the gut. Doubled over, Baron is staggered by a series of blows to the face. Looking to strike big early de Janeiro whips Windels into the ropes to deliver his patent running high knee, but Baron ducks and lands a flying lariat on the rebound! ONE… Baron rises up as he spots Lucius coming in and backdrops the Louisiana native. Soul finds himself in the wrong side of town, face to face with Jock Mulligan. Big right hand sends Lucius stumbling back towards Baron and a hip toss…onto Rico! Rico is then sent off for the ride and back dropped. A tag is made and Jock Mulligan officially sees action for the first time tonight, connecting on a MISSLE DROPKICK! COLE That ought to please Melody. She’s been asking the Gunslingers to incorporate more high-risk moves into their matches for awhile now. COACH There’s only one person who can please Melody, and that’s Rico de Janeiro. COLE Why did I know you were going to go-- Here’s the cover! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Irish whip, but Rico counters and Lucius pulls down the top rope, causing Jock to tumble outside. Soul harasses Baron inside while Rico goes to work on the floor, lifting Jock onto his shoulder before dropping him face-first on the steel steps! The sickening thud that follows grabs the attention of the referee, who immediately orders de Janeiro back in. The damage done Rico has no problem going along with the request. He rolls Jock in and tags out. Lucius swings inside onto the middle turnbuckle and delivers a picture perfect elbow! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! Jock barely gets the shoulder off the mat. Rico returns and successfully executes a gut wrench suplex, popping right up to stroke the ‘stache and drop the big leg! COACH Porno 'Stache Leg drop! ONE… TWO… Rico’s lackadaisical cover, which is simply his leg across Jock’s chest, isn’t enough to keep the Texas Twister down. Melody leads the crowd in urging Jock on as Baron shouts words of encouragement from the apron. “LET’S GO JOCK!” “LET’S GO JOCK!” “LET’S GO JOCK!” Following a tag, Jock is slammed and then crushed by a pair of elbows from the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. Rico then assists “Sweet” Lucius Soul on a STANDING MOONSAULT! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Soul gets down with his bad self before firing Jock into the corner, charging in after and smashing the flat of the boot into the jaw of the Texas Twister. What happens next is the biggest insult to the state of Texas since the time Ozzy Osborne pissed on the Alamo, as Lucius plants Jock into the canvas with a BULLDOG! BARON :firedevil: MELODY :angry: COACH That’s the best Bulldog I’ve seen in all my years in this great sport, Cole. Look at Baron and Melody. They’re envious right now. COLE Envious?! Disgusted is more like it. ONE… TWO… Still fuming over the use of the bulldog, Baron breaks up the count and lets loose on Lucius. As he’s restrained by the official Soul and de Janeiro swap places. Questioned by the zebra Rico denies any wrongdoing and puts the boots to Jock. The Texas Twister develops a sense of urgency as Rico lifts him overhead, worming out of a body vice or attempted Moustache Ride and locks on… “YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” …THE IRON CLAW!! Amazingly, Rico manages to grab a side headlock out of sheer desperation but is quickly pushed off into the ropes. A notorious ladies’ man, even lady luck is charmed by Rico de Janeiro, the King of Mardi Gras somehow able to make the blind tag as he bounces off the near side and is driven into the mat courtesy of a real Texas BULLDOG by Jock Mulligan! COLE Bulldog! He got him with the bulldog! But Jock didn’t see the tag. He has Rico pinned for at least a 10 count but a tag was made! Unaware of what has happened the Gunslinger complain to referee Charles Robinson, who does his best to explain the situation. Even Melody gets in on the act, jumping on the apron to protest. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The crowd reacts as Lucius sneaks inside with the tag title in hand. Soul believes he has a clear shot at Jock when… “YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” …LOGAN MANN shows up and rips the belt out of his hands! LUCIUS :o Wagging his finger in Soul’s face Logan is blindsided by Rico. The crowd erupts again as SYNTH makes his presence felt, evening up the odds. As the bodies start to fly the referee notices the mayhem going on behind him and calls for the bell. * DINGDINGDING * COACH Disqualification! The champs retain their titles! Not one to run away from a good fight the Gunslingers join in and help the Heavenly Rockers clean house on the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. With fists flying everywhere it’s only natural that one stays from its target, as is the case when Jock accidentally nails Logan. “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!” Logan storms to his feet and confronts Jock, who is very apologetic, but the wild child he’s been known to be in the past prevents Logan from thinking clearly, or maybe it’s just from the shot he took. Either way, his wife HOLLY-WOOD arrivals on the scene to play peacemaker and cooler heads prevail, much to the fans delight as “Heart-Shaped Box“ hits. COLE That’s great to see right there. COACH Give me a break. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, I have been informed by the referee that due to outside interference the winners of the match as a result of a disqualification…and STILL HI-YAH tag team champions, Rico de Janeiro and “Sweet” Lucius Soul…THE MARDI GRAS HHHOOOOMMEEWRECKING CREW! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE The crowd doesn’t like it and neither do I. But it’s the right decision. Though their intentions were noble the Heavenly Rockers did interfere in the contest. COACH I guess you aren’t as stupid as you look, Cole. It took 5 years but you finally said something intelligent. There’s still hope for mankind after all. Holly and Melody raise the guys’ hands and all is well…until the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew cheap shot the Heavenly Rockers from behind, clubbing them with their tag titles! Soul and de Janeiro hightail it before the Gunslingers have any time to stick up for their buddies. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The champs retreat stroking their porno mustache and afro, respectively. COLE A hit and run attack by the champions. A shameful act on their part. But if we know one thing about the Heavenly Rockers, they won’t stay down. The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew may have fired the first shot, but it just may have been their last. Edited May 2, 2007 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
