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chirs3

SWF Storm - 5-09-2007

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Earlier today...

 

The four members of Revolution Zero look at the items laid out on the floor of the dressing room. There are balaclavas. There are walkie-talkies. There’s some car keys. There’s a bucket. And there’s lots of bottles of maple syrup.

 

“Where did you get all the maple syrup from?” Austin Sly asks curiously. Toxxic shrugs.

 

“JJ Johnson.”

 

“Why did he have so much?” The Fabulous Jakey inquires, today wearing a bright red suit jacket with purple glittery lapels. Toxxic shrugs again.

 

“He’s Canadian.” Sly and Jakey nod, that explaining it… then they realise that actually that doesn’t explain, and turn to the straight-edger for further clarification. Toxxic smirks. “Well, he said it’s because it’s a natural and healthy way of getting an energy kick, and him being Canadian was entirely coincidental.” The smirk widens. “I pretended to believe him.”

 

“OK,” Sly nods, apparently willing to accept this, “so what’s the plan. Actually, why are we targeting Gabriel Drake again?”

 

“Well, because it’ll be funny, mainly,” Toxxic says. “Gabe’s an up-himself arsehole who thinks he’s God’s gift to wrestling, and he needs taking down a peg or two. Plus, he’s got too much sense to try and mess with all of us.”

 

“Right,” Sly says. “So, what is the plan?”

 

* * *

 

“OK, we’re going to need some way of luring Drake out to the parking lot,” Sly says, “otherwise this thing is never going to fly. Any ideas?”

 

“Well, Gabe’s a suspicious bugger, but he’s got a short fuse,” Toxxic replies thoughtfully. “If we can get him to chase someone out there, that might work. He’d probably react without thinking if someone made him mad enough.”

 

“OK, but we’re going to need someone who’s irritating enough to make him chase them,” Sly says.

 

“Yeah, but unthreatening enough that he won’t think twice about it,” Toxxic cuts in.

 

“And definitely fast enough that Drake won’t catch them before they get to the parking lot,” Sly comes back, determined to cover all angles. His face creases with thought. “Any ideas?”

 

“…no,” Toxxic says unhappily. “I mean, Blazenwing’s certainly annoying enough, but I wouldn’t trust him to organise a piss-up in a brewery…”

 

“Come on man, we’ve got to know someone who fits the bill!” Sly says, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. It’s at this point that The Fabulous Jakey, who’s been feeling a little left out of the conversation anyway, starts backing towards the door. Unfortunately he bumps into the fourth member of Revolution Zero, who clamps a quick headlock on him and whistles to attract the attention of Sly and Toxxic.

 

“Oi, you two!” Amy Stephens grins, “I fink we got a volunteer, innit!”

Edited by chirs3

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The Smartmarks Wrestling Federation Presents...

SWF STORM!

Live, Wednesday, May 9th, from the Estadio Felix Capriles in Cochabamba, Bolivia!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

THE MAIN EVENT - PURE RULES MATCH
Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix vs. "The Dean of Professional Wrestling" Jay Hawke

--> Johnsonosity, your checks are in the mail. Clearly, Tom Flesher does not enjoy his employees dictating booking decisions, especially not based on things like "what the fans want". Pshaw. So with La Cucharacha now clearly at less than 100%, we thought it would be a good time to bring in the Dean to clean up what's left of our World Champion. And if Jay Hawke is successful in his efforts tonight, next week on Storm he'll have earned himself a shot at the SWF World Heavyweight Championship!
Rules: Three rope breaks for each competitor - a closed fist costs you a rope break, and then leads to a DQ. 20-count on the outside.

SWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
The Fabulous Jakey vs. Wildchild

--> Tha Fabulous Jakey continues to impress! Last show he brought Jimmy the Doom's Cruiserweight Championship reign to a screeching halt, and brought the first piece of gold home to Rev-0! Jakey's had a number of big wins in the past few weeks, but this time he faces his toughest challenge yet. The man who has, on numerous occasions, made the Cruiserweight division his bitch - the Wildchild. Can Jakey's momentum carry him on to yet another stunning victory?
Rules: Standard, with Cruiser addenda. Outside count to 20, no throwing over the top rope.

SINGLES MATCH
"The Beast" Gabriel Drake vs. Edward James

--> After a temporary Leave of Absence, The Beast is back!
Rules: Standard singles.

SINGLES MATCH
Johnny Dangerous vs. Jimmy the Doom

--> Their names both begin with J. Coincidence? I THINK NOT. The battle over alphabetical supremacy begins!
Rules: Standard singles.

TAG TEAM MATCH
Toxxic and Austin Sly vs. Insane Luchador and JRR

--> An ill conceived remark at the airport ("I'm the bomb!") caused the plane carrying Insane Luchador and Austin Sly to be delayed, killing their match on Storm. We've ordered them to wear duct-tape on their mouths until the next show, so hopefully this will not happen again. But a lot has happened between then and now - specifically, Austin Sly has joined the ranks of the newly-reformed Revolution-Zero! Tonight, he teams up with Fearless Leader Toxxic, who hopes for nothing more than to have a little fun at his opponents expense. And after the unfortunate ending to his fight with Zyon, I imagine Toxx will be having lots and lots of fun at his opponents' expense tonight.
Rules: Standard tag.

PLUS: Some things may or may not be announced regarding possible matches that may or may not occur at some point in the near or distant future, involving people who might or might not be booked in those matches! STAY TUNED FOR PARTIAL EXCITEMENT~!

Edited by chirs3

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Backstage, stood up against a plain beige wall in lack of an actual interview set, Benjamin Hardy is lucky enough to be standing by with the World Heavyweight Champion. I'm sure he doesn't feel too lucky, but balls to him I say.

 

SWF Storm is live in five…

 

Four…

 

Three…

 

Two…

 

One..

 

*Beep*

 

 

*Boom! Boom!*

 

*Chi-chi-chi-chi… BOOM!!!*

 

The camera pans the audience, showing thousands of excited SWF fans ready for an action packed show. It scans both sides of the arena before we eventually switch cameras to one focused directly on the announcer’s table occupied by two men that have become symbols for the SWF, “The Franchise” Mak Francis and The Suicide King.

 

“With a breathtaking show of pyrotechnics, Storm is coming at you live from the Estadio Felix Capriles in Cochabamba, Bolivia!!” Mak Francis’ voice is the first we hear. “You know it never ceases to amaze me just how many fans we have across the globe, King.”

 

“Yeah, and it never ceases to amaze me how shitty the conditions are that we get thrown into.”

 

“It can never be shitty so long as we have action packed cards like we do tonight! We have several of today’s top stars in action tonight including Gabriel Drake, Johnny Dangerous, and even our World Champion Landon Maddix…”

 

“Eww…”

 

“… taking on Jay Hawke, a man that just returned last week and has already been deemed worthy of a chance at the World Title if he can manage to take down our champion.”

 

“Hopefully he will,” King piles in. “I believe Jay Hawke could restore a sense of pride to our federation just by holding the title!”

 

“Well I don’t know about that, but I do know that all three members of Revolution Zero will be in action tonight! The Fabulous Jakey will be defending his newly won Cruiserweight title later tonight against the number one contender Wildchild, but first we will see the two more veteran members of the stable, Toxxic and Austin Sly, take on the rather random pairing of JRR and The Insane Luchador.”

 

“Could you stop reading from your cards for a second and just talk to me like a real person?” pleads King.

 

“I… I don’t have any cards…”

 

“Yes you do, Mak. I can see you reading off of them.”

 

“They’re just notes…”

 

“I’ve known you a long time, Mak,” King reminds his announcing partner, “and I know that you don’t speak that articulately on your own. Now give me your cards or notes or whatever the hell you want to call them.”

 

Luckily Funyon interrupts our bickering duo, drawing our attention to the ring as he announces the first match of the night.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, your opening bout tonight is a tag team match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, weighing in at two hundred and thirty pounds… from Carteret, New Jersey… JAY! ARE! ARE!”

 

“CLICK!”

“CLICK!”

“BOOM!!!”

 

*Boom!*

 

“Click Click Boom” by Saliva fills the arena, with the ‘boom’ being escorted by a blast of pyros from the top of the entrance ramp to the ring. JRR makes his way out of the back of the arena to a decent reception from the fans on hand. He slaps hands with a few fans as he makes his way down to the ring, with another explosion of pyros from the ringposts as he slides into the ring! He waits patiently for his tag team partner. The music fades…

 

“I’m the man in the box…”

 

“Buried in my shit!”

 

… and cuts directly to “Man In The Box” by Alice in Chains. An explosion of red and black (yes, black… sigh…) pyros explode from the stage, signaling the arrival of The Insane Luchador, Andrew Rickmen. Rickmen makes his way out to a very loud reaction! He throws his arms up in excitement, trying to rally the crowd even more behind him.

 

“Apparently Bolivia is Luchador country…” notes King. “Huh, who would’ve guessed.”

 

“Everywhere is Luchador country, King. People simply can’t get enough of Andrew Rickmen.”

 

Rickmen then proceeds to make his way down to the ring, slapping hands with every fan that he can before he slides underneath the ropes and into the ring.

 

“and his tag team partner, weighing in at two hundred and twenty-three pounds… from Easton, Pennsylvania… IN-SAANNEEE LUCH-A-DOOORRR!!!”

 

The Insane Luchador makes his way over to his tag team partner and, presumably, begins to talk strategy with him during the short amount of time that they have before the match.

 

“… and now, I would like to introduce the winners of tonight’s match,” states King, very matter-of-fact.

 

Suddenly the house lights hit full, bathing the audience in a rich white light. The Smarktron™ also goes to a blank, white screen. There is the sound of a needle scratching against a record before some familiar words fill the arena…

 

'WEL-WEL-W-W-WELCOME TO THE REVOLUTION!'

 

… and a chorus of boos immediately follows, along with a faint “Toxxic sucks!” chant and, most obviously, the roaring guitar riff of ‘Know Your Enemy’ by Rage Against The Machine! The fans don’t appear to be ready to accept Revolution Zero back into the folds of the SWF as Toxxic and Austin Sly make their way onto the stage. Both men have a look of arrogance and confidence about them, Toxxic with his slightly lopsided grin and Austin with a more menacing smile and a slight flex of his muscles. Stephens crosses his arms into an “X” momentarily before the duo begins to make their way down to the ring. The audiences on both side of the ramp begin a duel chant.

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

“AUST-IN SUCKS!”

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

“AUST-IN SUCKS!”

 

“Making their way to the ring,” begins Funyon, “weighing in at a combined weight of four hundred and fifty-five pounds, the team of Toxxic and Austin Sly… REV-O-LUTIIOOOON ZEEERRROOOOOOO!!!”

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

“It appears that all the good SWF fans would disagree with you, King,” says Mak. “I’ve never felt such loathing in all my time in this fed.”

 

“Well it doesn’t matter if they loathe them, they’re going to have to respect them.”

 

They hit the ring in stride and slide under the bottom rope and into the ring before each makes his way to ascend a turnbuckle. Toxxic once again raises his arms to form an “X”, while Austin simply stares out over the audience, and then to his opponents. Sly jumps down and meets with Toxxic in their corner. After a short discussion, it is apparently decided that Sly will start the match and Toxxic steps out of the ring and onto the apron. Opposite of him stands the rookie JRR, who has also apparently been elected to start the match.

 

*DING-DING-DING!*

 

Austin Sly and JRR start out in the ring together along with referee Nick Soapdish. JRR looks primed and ready to go, but Austin only points to JRR and then to the Insane Luchador.

 

“It looks like we’re going to get the match that we were supposed to get last week,” says Mak Francis. “Austin seems eager to get the Insane Luchador into the ring.”

 

“I’m sure it’s part of some ingenious plan.” King mutters.

 

JRR turns and motions towards Rickmen, gathering a pop from the audience. The two quickly tag, and the Insane Luchador enters the ring with Austin stretching against the far ropes. Sly stretches his arms across his chest and walks in towards Rickmen, but quickly waves him off and returns to the ropes where he continues stretching. Rickmen wants no part of this, though. He charges his opponent, but Austin ducks down and uses his opponent’s momentum to launch him over the ropes! Sly grabs hold of the top rope, leans back, and then launches himself out of the ring and onto Rickmen as he was just starting to get back to his feet! Both men spill to the floor, but are only down for a moment before they climb back to their feet. Rickmen takes the first swing and nails Sly with a thunderous right hand, but Sly follows up with a right hand of his own! The two exchange blows on the outside until Rickmen sends a quick kick to his opponent’s gut, followed quickly by another that sends the slightly bigger man reeling. Rickmen grabs Sly by the shoulder as if to spin him around, but as he does Austin quickly spins on his heels and rakes the Insane Luchador across the eyes! Sly grabs Rickmen by the back of the head and slams his forehead into the edge of the ring. The Luchador recoils, grabbing at his forehead before he’s quickly hoisted into the ring by his opponent.

 

“After a quick brawl on the outside, it looks like we’re going to take this match back into the ring,” says The Franchise.

 

“Matches can’t be won outside of the ring. I don’t think that the Revolution Zero team is too concerned over actually winning this match, though.”

 

Both men climb back to their feet, and begin to circle each other, looking for a weakness. Sly is the first to make a move, diving in after Rickmen’s legs, but he’s too quick and pushes Austin away! Austin pops back up, and once again the two begin to circle each other. Sly once again goes for the legs, but as IL jumps back, Austin raises up and clotheslines the former homicide victim! IL hits the match with a thud, but sits up quickly… and into a headlock from his opponent! Sly wrenches down on his opponent’s neck, trying to prevent any oxygen from entering his body. Austin starts to pull Rickmen to his feet, but he resists and throws a couple of elbows to Sly’s midsection in order to free himself. The Insane Luchador quickly spins on his heels and sends his fist sailing into Austin’s face and knocking him off guard!

 

“A good reversal by the Ill One!” Mak notes.

 

Sly teeters on his feet, and as he does IL sneaks in and grabs a front facelock before hurling himself backwards and demonstrating a perfect snap suplex! Austin grasps at his eternally sore neck, but was lucky enough to take the blunt of the blow with his back. Rickmen bounces back to his feet, followed shortly thereafter by Sly. The Insane Luchador reels back and take a swing at Austin, but it’s ducked! Austin fires a boot to the gut, then grabs a front facelock in his turn and hits a snap suplex of his own!

 

“Dueling suplexes!” calls out Mak. “This is great!”

 

“If this is going to be a technical match, I think Sly will have the upper hand,” states King.

 

Rickmen bounces off the mat, then tries to get back up too quick and is noticeably dizzy. Austin walks up behind him, wraps his arms around his waist again, and then lifts him up and over with a German Suplex! He doesn’t release his hold though! Both men climb back to their feet before Austin hits another German Suplex!

 

“Two quick German Suplex’s, and now the Ill One isn’t so quick to get back to his feet.” Mak notes.

 

Rickmen struggles to get up this time, but Austin’s hands are still locked together. This can mean only one thing. A third German Suplex! This time, Austin holds on for a bridge, and referee Nick Soapdish slides in for the count.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…but the Insane Luchador manages to roll his shoulders up and break the just in time. Sly grabs Rickmen by the back of the head and pulls him up to his feet. Sly drags his opponent to the corner and slams his head into the top turnbuckle, he then turns and takes a quick shot at JRR! JRR tries to climb into the ring, but Nick Soapdish is there to block him out! Sly once again grabs hold of his opponent and drags him out into the middle of the ring, and then locks him into a headlock.

 

“Austin is trying his best just to wear down his opponent, it would seem.”

 

“It looks like he’s trying his best just to impress Toxxic,” says King.

 

As soon as referee Nick Soapdish has forced JRR back out of the ring, he turns around to see Sly with Rickmen locked in an illegal choke hold. He issues a three count before Sly breaks the hold, and simply pushes his opponent down to the mat. Austin calmly walks over and tags Toxxic in and the leader of Revolution Zero jumps to the top rope, then comes off with a fistdrop to Rickmen’s head.

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

“Toxxic and the Insane Luchador were tag partners not too many weeks ago, when they took on Zyon and Akira Kaibatsu,” Mak Francis notes. “They gelled quite well in that match, but it doesn’t look like things will be as pleasant tonight…”

 

“Well, I’d hope not,” King remarks, “they’re on opposite teams, after all. If they started having a cup of coffee and a quiet chat I think the fans would want refunds.”

 

Toxxic shakes his hand out (it seems Rickmen has quite a hard head) and pulls the Insane One up off the canvas, then performs an Irish whip that sends his opponent hard into a neutral corner. Rickmen collides with the buckles hard enough to get winded, and matters aren’t helped as Toxxic charges in and leaps into the air to deliver a leg lariat to his opponent. The Englishman manages to land on the apron from the ricochet, and as Rickmen staggers out his quickly climbs to the top buckle before reaching forwards to grab the Insane Luchador in a reverse headlock for the Final Shine… but Rickmen brings both his hands up and simply slams them hard into the sides of Toxxic’s head!

 

“YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

Toxxic lets go and grabs at his ears; Rickmen takes this chance to untangle himself, then jumps and spins to catch his opponent with a kesagiri chop that sends the former World Champion wobbling groggily in his seated position on the top buckle! With the fans cheering around him Rickmen hurries over and tags in JRR, then heads back towards Toxxic and begins to mount the turnbuckles.

 

“This is just a ploy from Toxxic to sucker Rickmen in,” King states confidently, “he’ll headbutt him, throw him off and-”

 

*BANG!*

 

“Well, that looked like a superplex to me,” Mak Francis comments. Meanwhile JRR has climbed to the top rope in his corner, then leaps off as Rickmen rolls aside to land a flying legdrop on the straight-edger!

 

“YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

JRR eagerly makes the cover as Nick Soapdish dives to count…

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…but Toxxic kicks out well before the count of three. JRR takes hold of him and brings him up, while Rickmen shouts encouragement from the outside, then the New Jersey native grabs Toxxic’s arm and twists it overhead into an armwringer. Toxxic winces in pain and seems to be setting himself up to roll through and escape, but JRR hauls on the trapped limb and drags Toxxic into a short-arm shoulderblock before he can react, then does the same thing again! Toxxic grabs his arm and JRR releases him; not through the goodness of his heart, but rather so he can start firing off right and left jabs that send the Englishman staggering backwards! With the crowd starting to roar their approval JRR leaps up and lands a dropkick on Toxxic that drops the veteran to the mat, then pops back up to his feet. Austin Sly has turned around to yell at the crowd, but he suddenly finds himself falling from the apron as JRR gets revenge from earlier and runs over to nail him in the back!

 

“YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

“J!R!R!”

 

“J!R!R!”

 

“Cheap shot!” King shouts, outraged.

 

“It’s only what Sly did,” Mak points out.

 

“Two wrongs don’t make a right, Francis.”

 

Nick Soapdish remonstrates with JRR about what was indeed technically a cheap shot, but the rookie ignores him and heads back towards Toxxic. He drags the Englishman back up to his feet and whips him off the ropes, then raises his foot for a big boot. Unfortunately for JRR Toxxic ducks under it and runs on to the far cables, and when the rookie turns around to try and track his opponent Toxxic explodes back off the ropes with a spinning wheel kick that takes him down!

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

JRR pops back up to his feet, but Toxxic’s ahead of him and ducks a wild right hand to clamp both arms around his opponent’s chest, then hoist JRR off the ground before kicking his legs out and dropping with the sambo slam known as the Side Effect. The impact knocks the breath from JRR’s lungs, and Toxxic takes the opportunity to grab a quick breath of his own before rolling over to his corner and tagging Austin Sly in. Sly steps through the ropes and takes a run at JRR before the rookie can properly get up and just cracks him in the back with a hard kick, a move that doesn’t endear him to the fans.

 

“AUSTIN SUCKS!”

 

“AUSTIN SUCKS!”

 

Sly reaches down and grabs JRR, then hauls him to his feet and ducks behind him. Moments later the newcomer finds himself taken up and over with a hard back suplex that Sly bridges into a pin!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…but JRR kicks out! Sly sits up and grabs JRR’s legs, then starts twisting his opponent over onto his front for a Boston crab; JRR struggles, but can’t do anything against Sly’s leverage and the Lone Wolf from St Louis sits down into the hold with his opponent some distance from the ropes.

 

“You see Mak, Toxxic overcame his opponent’s devious double-teaming tactics, and now Sly’s back in the ring to bring the pain,” Suicide King comments authoritatively. “JRR’s about to be introduced to a whole new world of wrestling.”

 

“Sly’s probably taken a good route here,” Francis agrees grudgingly, “we know that JRR can be hard to stop once he gets some momentum behind him, but that Boston Crab will slow him right down.”

 

Sly leans back into the hold, putting as much pressure as he can on the rookie, who reaches out for the ropes in vain. However, you don’t get into the SWF without being a fighter and JRR starts trying to claw his way across the mat to get to safety. Sly’s weight is difficult to shift, but the rookie grits his teeth and digs deep, desperate to find a way out of his predicament.

 

“J!R!R!”

 

“J!R!R!”

 

“Isn’t that a weird sight, Andrew Rickmen the cheerleader,” King laughs as the Insane Luchador pounds the top buckle, trying to encourage his partner onwards by firing up the crowd. The fans are doing their best to help, but JRR’s progress across the ring is slow.

 

“It’s also worth nothing that deliberately or otherwise, Sly positioned the Crab so that JRR’s head was facing the ropes nearest the Revolution Zero corner,” Mak points out. “About the only direction that JRR is going to make any headway in is straight in front of him, but even if he does that and gets to the ropes he’s still going to be on the wrong side of the ring!”

 

“There was a reason why I picked my winners,” King replies smugly.

 

“J!R!R!”

 

“J!R!R!”

 

JRR is however getting closer to safety, and as he reaches out again the ropes are noticeably nearer. Sly is keeping a careful eye on things, but the bigger man doesn’t seem that worried about his opponent reaching the ropes; after all, just getting there is taking an enormous amount out of him. JRR manages to shuffle another foot… then another…

 

…and reaches out to grab the ropes! Nick Soapdish steps in and demands that Austin Sly break the hold; Sly ignores him and the referee starts counting, getting to two, three, four… and now Sly breaks, standing up and moving away from his opponent as if he had meant to release the hold instantly all along.

 

“What a dick,” Mak sighs.

 

“Oh, and you never milked a hold?” King asks, “come on, he has five seconds to break! Why can’t he use them?”

 

Sly takes a couple of steps towards his corner and reaches out his hand to tag Toxxic into the match, then approaches JRR again and grabs the rookie as he struggles to pull himself upright. The newcomer’s back troubles aren’t going to be helped by Sly’s next move, as he scoops JRR up before dropping him over one knee with a pendulum backbreaker. However, instead of immediately releasing him and letting him drop to the canvas Sly slides his hand down and starts choking JRR with his opponent still bent backwards over his knee!

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

Needless to say, Nick Soapdish isn’t happy about that and gets in Sly’s face, telling him that among other things he’s no longer the legal man so should be leaving the ring! Sly just snorts and finally lets JRR drop, then gets up and walks over to the ropes. JRR lays on his back gasping for breath…

 

*CRUNCH!*

 

…and Toxxic comes off the top with a somersault double stomp!

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”

 

The former World Champion hops off his opponent’s body, poses briefly with an Olympic gymnast’s dismount position, then turns that into a standing moonsault that sees him land on top of JRR and hook the leg for a pin! Nick Soapdish dives to count…

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TH-

-but JRR kicks out again, however he does it rather slower this time! Toxxic is grinning, sensing that perhaps his opponent’s resistance is lessening, and he pulls JRR up again but only into a standing headscissors. Then he reaches down and underhooks one arm… the other arm…

 

“I think we all know where this is going…” Mak Francis mutters.

 

Sure enough, Toxxic braces himself and hoists his opponent UP…

 

…AROUND…

 

…AND…

 

…DOWN!

 

*BANG!*

 

“Stephens Shock Syndrome!” King cackles as JRR gets planted facefirst into the mat with the swinging sit-out Pedigree, “that’s gotta do it!” Toxxic certainly seems to think so, and he casually rolls JRR over onto his back before hooking the leg again (can’t make too certain)…

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR-

-but Insane Luchador breaks it up with a boot to the head!

 

“YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

“LUCH-A-DOR!”

 

“LUCH-A-DOR!”

 

Toxxic shakes the effect of the kick off and surges up to his feet where he and Rickmen go nose-to-nose for a split second before Nick Soapdish interposes himself and orders Rickmen back to his corner. The Ill One doesn’t hesitate in mouthing off to Toxxic, all their wars from the past easily overcoming the memory of their one match on the same team, and Toxxic gives as good as he gets in return. Rickmen steps out through the ropes but keeps his eye firmly on developments in the ring, a fact which does not escape Toxxic’s attention. He drags JRR back up to his feet and shoves the rookie towards his partner; JRR is dazed but has enough sense to reach out his hand for the tag…

 

…and at the last moment Toxxic pulls him back, while Rickmen swipes at thin air when he tries to tag himself in!

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

Toxxic spins JRR around and knees him in the gut then, while looking at Rickmen constantly, applies a front facelock with his left arm. Instead of his right arm out to the side however, he uses it to flip an unmistakeable two-fingered gesture at the Insane Luchador, then slams it down as he twists around to deliver the elbow-drive bulldog known as the Unfinished Business to JRR. The rookie’s face gets driven into the mat and Toxxic makes the cover again…

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR-

-but Rickmen makes the save again, this time by hopping down to the outside, reaching in and grabbing one of Toxxic’s legs to pull him off the cover! In fact the Insane One does his best to haul Toxxic clean out of the ring where he can get to him, but the Englishman hangs on to the bottom rope and refuses to budge. Rickmen braces himself and heaves harder as the crowd roars its approval for such an act-

 

*WHAM!*

 

-and Austin Sly comes out of leftfield with a massive clothesline that floors the Insane One!

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

“Damn right!” King shouts, “Rickmen was interfering, he wasn’t the legal man, he had no right to interrupt that pin! Sly was just restoring order!”

 

“King, the day Austin Sly is restoring order is a day we all need to worry,” Mak returns, “now can we leave the incredibly biased reporting and concentrate on the match?”

 

Toxxic scrambles back into the ring, but Andrew Rickmen’s intervention has at least given JRR some breathing space; the rookie has started trying to get to his feet, although Toxxic doesn’t seem too worried about that. He measures his opponent as Austin Sly starts moving back around to take up station at the Rev-0 corner once more, then the straight-edger begins teeing off on JRR’s head as the less experienced wrestler gets up to a vertical base!

 

RIGHT!

 

 

LEFT!

 

 

RIGHT!

 

 

LEFT!

 

 

Windup…

 

 

DISCUS CLOTHESLINE!

 

 

…ducked!

 

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

Toxxic staggers forward as the momentum of his own move takes him off-balance; JRR shakes his head to clear it, then as Toxxic turns back towards him and reaches out and grabs the Straight-Edge Sensation around the waist before arching backwards to take him over with a belly-to-belly suplex!

 

“J!R!R!”

 

Toxxic gets back up to his feet, but he doesn’t fare any better this time around as JRR sticks with what he knows and launches the Englishman overhead again!

 

“J!R!R!”

 

“JRR is on fire here, but can he maintain this momentum?” Mak Francis asks as Toxxic picks himself up off the mat again, rather slower this time… and turns around to eat a big boot to the face as the rookie answers the Franchise’s question!

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

Sly shouts in anger and slams his fist down on the top buckle but JRR ignores him, and instead turns to a neutral corner and starts climbing!

 

“Is this wise?” Mak asks, but JRR answers him by hurtling off the top with a flying clothesline that takes Toxxic down just as the former World Champion was getting up again! JRR manages to pick himself up and raises both arms in the air to pump the crowd up!

 

“J!R!R!”

 

“J!R!R!”

 

The rookie reaches down and grabs Toxxic, drags the Englishman up into a front facelock then throws his opponent’s arm around his own neck. He grabs Toxxic’s baggy pants at the waist and lifts him up…

 

…holds him…

 

…then throws his body sideways to drive Toxxic down chest-to-chest into the canvas!

 

*BANG!*

 

“Jackhammer!” Mak Francis shouts as the crowd roars again, “and we know what’s coming next! It’s time for the Redline!”

 

“J!R!R!”

 

“J!R!R!”

 

JRR is running on pure adrenaline now, but he’s on a roll and with renewed strength he grabs Toxxic and hauls the Englishman into a standing headscissors. He reaches down and underhooks one arm… then the other… then hoists Stephens up-

 

*CRACK!*

 

-but Toxxic has retained enough wits to swing both feet up and send them straight into his opponent’s face! JRR staggers and his grip slackens; Stephens drops out of the move but lands on all fours rather than on his head, then straightens up and grabs his opponent in a ¾ facelock before turning and running for the turnbuckles!

 

“Sunny In England!” Suicide King shouts…

 

…but as Toxxic kicks back off the top rope and the ring cartwheels in his vision he sees a figure running towards him, and a moment later his progress comes to an unplanned halt as the Insane Luchador has entered the ring and positioned himself to catch Toxxic across one shoulder on his way down!

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

JRR manages to disentangle himself from Toxxic and Rickmen, ignoring Soapdish’s orders to leave the ring, starts to tilt Toxxic head-downwards.

 

“Tombstone!?” Mak gasps… but no, as Austin Sly steps through the ropes and charges Rickmen, slamming into him with a shoulder block that knocks the Insane One flat with Toxxic landing on top of him (in a rather suggestive position, but the less said about that the better).

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

JRR drives a boot into Sly’s gut as the veteran turns around, then grabs him by the shirt and pants and sends him through the ropes out to the floor, but then Toxxic reaches up from behind and hooks JRR to take him over into a schoolboy!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR-

-but JRR kicks out! Both men scramble up to their feet, JRR charges…

 

*WHAM!*

 

“YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

“POWERPOP!” Mak roars as the running STO takes Toxxic down. “Upset! Upset!”

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR-

-but Austin Sly gets back in the ring in time to break the pin!

 

“AUSTIN SUCKS!”

 

“AUSTIN SUCKS!”

 

Sly drags JRR off the pin and underhooks both arms, then drops down with an ugly double-arm DDT that shakes the ring. He then takes hold of Toxxic’s arm and drapes it across JRR’s body before turning around to find Rickmen back on his feet and coming for him. Rickmen tries to lunge past as Soapdish drops to count…

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

…Sly fields the Insane Luchador…

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRE-

-and JRR kicks out under his own steam!

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

Sly powers forwards, trapping Rickmen in what is effectively a bearhug and driving the Ill One back into the turnbuckles where he lowers his head and holds on while Rickmen tries to break free. JRR and Toxxic are starting to stir and each one tries to struggle to his feet…

 

“J!R!R!”

 

“J!R!R!”

 

…JRR just gets up first, turns around and fires a kick to the gut, then grabs a front facelock. He raises an arm to signal for the DDT, but Toxxic grabs his arm, prises it loose and twists out, then hauls JRR in towards him!

 

*CRUNCH!*

 

The headbutt staggers both men, but Toxxic reacts first and grabs a front facelock of his own, then reaches through his opponent’s legs to hook the left leg from the inside…

 

…Rickmen tries again to break out of the corner, but Sly just slams his shoulder into the Ill One’s gut to drive him back…

 

…and Toxxic lifts, twists and drops.

 

*BANG!*

 

“CAFFEINE BOMB!” Suicide King shouts as Soapdish dives to count.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!

 

*DING-DING-DING!*

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners,” Funyon booms, “the team of Austin Sly and Toxxic… REVOLUUUUUUUUUUUUTION… ZEEEEEEERRRRRRRRROOOOOOOO!!”

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

‘Know Your Enemy’ starts to ring out through the arena as Toxxic rolls wearily out of the ring and Austin Sly follows him and we

 

 

FADE OUT.

Edited by chirs3

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Backstage, stood up against a plain beige wall in lack of an actual interview set, Benjamin Hardy is lucky enough to be standing by with the World Heavyweight Champion. I'm sure he doesn't feel too lucky, but balls to him I say.

 

"Landon, tonight you find yourself in a tough situation, not only out of your element in a Pure Rules Match, but coming just a week after being beaten down by Blood and Thunder. Your thoughts?"

 

"Yeah, it's true, tonight the deck is looking pretty stacked." admits Landon, who looks a little beaten up as he stands beside Hardy. "Manson and Johnson did a pretty good number on me last week. I'm sure they'll be rewarded with another unsuccessful shot at the Tag Team Championships. At least when they finally see sense and pack it in, they've got ready made careers as hitmen. That's a plus. Meanwhile though, I've got my career to worry about. My World Title to worry about."

 

Landon adjusts the title over his shoulder.

 

"Benny, in a far from diplomatic way, you bring up a good point. Pure Wrestling Rules don't quite suit me. Infact, they don't suit me at all. Yep, surprise of surprises, I'm stuck in a match tailored to my opponent, knowing that I need to win or else I'm going to have to defend this title next week. It looks real bad for La Cucaracha, wouldn't ya say?"

 

"Well, kinda."

 

"Indeed, 'kinda'! 'Kinda' to the nth degree! But, as the saying goes, 'The cream always rises to the top'. And I am the cream of the crop and this World Heavyweight Championship says so." smiles Landon, giving a pat of the belt. "A belt I'm holding for the third time. And a belt Jay Hawke has held precisely zero times. You see, I respect Jay, don't get me wrong. He's one hell of a wrestler. Hell, once upon a time, me and him were World Tag Team Champions so I know his credentials as well as anyone. There's a difference though between being 'good' and being 'great'. There's a difference between being a 'champion' and being a 'challenger'. And when you look at Landon Maddix and you look at Jay Hawke, you are looking at that difference, live and in living colour! There's a reason why Jay Hawke has never risen to the heights that I have. I don't think I really need to spell it out to anyone. It's there for all to see. He's not like Landon Maddix. He's got his 'pure wrestling ability' and he's got his 'old school mentality' and his 'wrestling ethics'. But, trust me, coming from a man who used to lead him into battle, he lacks... 'it'."

 

"It?"

 

"It." Landon re-enforces, leaving Hardy none the wiser. "He doesn't have the style. The flair, pun un-intended. He lacks the pizzazz, the panache, the je ne sais quoi, la elegante! Let's face it, he just doesn't have the charisma that I have."

 

"Landon, what does charisma have to do with Pure Rules?"

 

"Ask Ultimo Phantasmo."

 

"Huh."

 

"Nevermind." Landon . "See, I'm getting used to Tom Flesher backing me into a corner. Tonight though, he's backing me into a corner, throwing on a wristlock and daring me to use a ropebreak. I don't know what that means exactly. But what I do know is, as well as cream, oil always rises to the surface. And just like oil, I'm a slippery customer. Just when you think you've got me cornered, I can always find a way to slip out. That's why I'm a champ. Because I'm a winner and I always have a plan."

 

With a flamboyant flick of the hair, Landon marches off, making a dramatic exit.

Edited by chirs3

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*knock-knock*

 

Gabriel Drake looks up at the door of his locker room. By nature a suspicious man, but far from an unconfident one, he strides over and hauls it open to see who’s bothering him. As the biggest man in the company he’s fairly sure that no-one’s going to try anything…

 

“Hey!” The Fabulous Jakey says, grinning so widely his head looks like it’s about to come off, “Catch!” He throws something made of fabric to Drake, who catches it automatically. “Now say cheese!”

 

“What the-”

 

*click*

 

“Hey!” Drake shouts as the flash of Jakey’s disposable camera momentarily blinds him. The next thing he hears is the clatter of boots as Jakey makes good his escape, and when he’s blinked his vision clear The Beast looks down at what he’s holding in his hands.

 

It’s a skinny-fit girl’s T-shirt.

 

It’s baby pink.

 

It has purple glittery writing on it.

 

The writing reads “I

 

…why you little-!

 

* * *

 

The people milling around backstage at the Estadio Felix Capriles are surprised to see rising SWF star and Cruiserweight Champion The Fabulous Jakey careering through the corridors at breakneck speed. They’re even more surprised to see him pursued by a sulphurously-cursing former World Champion in the shape of ‘The Beast’ Gabriel Drake. After that, those of them that notice a man in a balaclava speaking into a walkie-talkie in the corner can’t really be bothered to pay much attention.

 

“Alpha Echo Two Niner, this is control. We have visual contact with the subject, moving towards your position at speed, over.”

 

*crrssh* +What the fuckin’ ‘ell are you on about?+ *crackle*

 

“The fish has taken the bait. I repeat, the fish has taken the bait, over.”

 

*shhttk* +Mike, don’t make me come back there and kick yer arse+ *crrshsh*

 

“…Gabe’s chasing Jakey towards you.”

 

*crrsh* +Well why the bloody hell dintya just say so, ya get me?+ *strsssh*

 

“Jesus Amy, you can take the fun out of anything, can’t you?” Toxxic mutters, pulling his balaclava off. “Look, just get ready to drench the bugger, aight?” He pulls a small tube out of his pocket and advances towards the corridor Jakey and Drake just emerged from. “I’m going in…”

 

* * *

 

The Fabulous Jakey shoots out into the evening light from a fire exit and skids to a halt. Moments later a heavier tread is heard and Gabriel Drake thunders out after him…

 

*SPLOOOOOSSSSSHHHH!*

 

…and gets thoroughly drenched by a bucketful of something sweet, sticky and quite definitely liquid! The Beast comes to a staggering stop, coughing, and at that moment a powerful car pulls up - he can’t make out what sort through the gloop in his eyes - and two figures jump in. Jakey is one of them, and a familiarly-proportioned female with a balaclava in is another. The driver also seems to be wearing a balaclava Gabe notes, as the pedal is apparently rammed well and truly to the metal and the machine roars away leaving The Beast standing, dripping with what he’s quickly working out is some sort of maple syrup solution - presumably diluted to make it come out of the bucket easier - and not only fuming but completely and utterly confused.

Edited by chirs3

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FADE IN…

 

“Welcome back to SWF Storm,” the ‘Franchise’ Mac Francis warmly greets, “and it looks like we’re just about ready for our next exciting match up; Johnny Dangerous taking on the always peculiar Jimmy the Doom!”

 

“No time to waste here either,” Suicide King adds, “so let’s send this one over to our ring announcer Funyon!”

 

*DING DING DING!!!*

 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” bellows Funyon. “The following match is scheduled for one fall and will have a ten minute time limit. Introducing first…”

 

The arena lights go out suddenly and two columns of hooded druids march down the ramp and to the ring, chanting “Doom” the entire time as the volume of the crowd rises. They place themselves against the crowd barriers, facing the ring, but leaving a gap from the entrance ramp open. The lights come back on, the chanting stops immediately, and Boots Randolph’s “Yakety Sax” plays over the speakers. Jimmy the Doom with Lois the Unethical walk down the ramp and head towards the ring in quite the Doomtopian fashion.

 

“From Doomopolis, Doomtopia,” Funyon continues, “and weighing in at two hundred and thirty pounds; he is the current and reigning SWF HARDCORE CHAMPION… JIIIIMM-AAAY THEEEEEE DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!”

 

*BOOM!*

 

“Wow! I never noticed that bit of fireworks for Jimmy’s name before,” Francis observes. King just shrugs.

 

As Jimmy enters the ring to salute the fans, Lois gathers the Druids up and heads backstage, leaving the Hardcore Champ to fight this battle alone. Finally, Doom’s entrance music fades out as the lights dim around ringside and the Smarktron™ lights up. A video begins displaying an image of a fuse fizzling down towards a stick of dynamite, and the Mission Impossible theme (as performed by the James Taylor Quartet) starts ringing out around the Estadio Felix Capriles! The opening to the song sounding very much like a time-bomb alarm sounding off before exploding and then that popular groove that everyone knows… and just before the music swings into full gear to launch the crowd into a frenzy-

 

“JOHNNY DANGEROUS~!”

 

-a deep, sultry voice breathes the name of the SWF’s secret agent over the speakers then-

 

*BOOM!*

 

-and only THEN does the music hit as a riotous explosion of pyro rocks the entrance stage! Finally, through all the vibrant lights and the cloud of smoke comes the Barracuda, silhouetted by the strobes with occasional flashes reflecting off his high-tech shades as he turns his head from side-to-side, looking out at his crowd.

 

“JOHN-NY!”

 

“JOHN-NY!”

 

“Will you just listen to that crowd,” Francis marvels. “Ever since the Barracuda returned to the SWF he’s been slowly gaining steam and getting more and more support by the fans, but this has got to be the hottest crowd for Johnny I’ve seen in a long while!”

 

“Which just goes to show you how starved this country is for some live wrestling action,” says King. “I mean… think about it, Mak. Boliva is cheering on a United States secret agent that’s probably caused all kinds of havoc over here in the past.”

 

Whatever the reason it makes no difference to Johnny Dangerous. He’s here to please the fans no matter where they came from or how they got here, and right now pleasing the fans means kicking Jimmy the Doom’s but! He heads into the ring and holds up to fist to the fans-

 

*CRACK!*

 

-as Jimmy nails him with a cheap shot in the back of the skull! Ronald ‘Red’ Herrington, the official for this bout, barely has the chance to dodge out of the way and signal for the bell!

 

*DING DING DING!!!”

 

Dangerous lunges at Jimmy the Doom - his teeth gritted together so tightly you couldn’t slip a piece of paper through, and his fist balled so strongly that his knuckles were starting to turn white! Johnny swings recklessly for Jimmy’s smiling visage-

 

*WHOOSH!*

 

-but Doom was ready and he quickly ducks down, dodges the punch, and comes up from behind as the Barracuda stumbles forward with his momentum. When Johnny turns back around there’s a clothesline with his name on it!

 

*WHACK!*

 

“Down goes Dangerous!” shouts King, as the Barracuda hits the mat. He quickly pops back up to his feet, even more livid now that what he was before, and charges at the Hardcore Champion!

 

“He’ll be damned if he’s made a fool of by Jimmy the Doom,” says Mak, obviously caught up in the moment because when Johnny tries for another punch that’s exactly what happens. Doom quickly catches hooks the Barracuda’s arm with his own, and using Johnny’s own momentum once more, Jimmy easily sends his opponent to the mat with a textbook armdrag! Johnny hits the mat and rolls back up to his feet, turns, and charges right back at Jimmy… only to get tossed to the mat with a second consecutive armdrag! Dangerous isn’t so quick to get up this time, which makes it all the easier for Doom to jump up, extend his elbow and fall back, nailing the Barracuda square in the chest with an elbow drop before applying a lateral press for:

 

 

ONE!

 

 

And nothing more! Johnny easily kicks out after the one count and then both men roll up to their feet. Johnny glares hard at Jimmy, his eyes dark.

 

“Jimmy the Doom is one of the few men that Johnny had never faced before,” notes Francis, “and right now Jimmy is making him look like he doesn’t even belong in the same ring with him.”

 

“That’s because Jimmy actually has a plan here,” says King. “You might be surprised, but you don’t go on a colossal hardcore title reign without having some sort of talent. He knows that if he wants to beat the Barracuda he’d has to get in his head and right now, that’s exactly what he’s done.”

 

“Very true,” the Franchise agrees. “Right now Johnny needs to take a step back and not let himself play into Jimmy’s trap.”

 

Jimmy begins to move in a circle, beckoning the Barracuda towards him even as the crowd pleads with Johnny not to. However, Johnny’s focused on one thing right now – whooping Jimmy’s little Doomtopian hide! Johnny moves in and accepts Doom’s offer for a collar-and-elbow lock up, but Jimmy quickly breaks the tie up while grabbing his opponent’s arm and spinning around behind him for a hammerlock! Jimmy cranks back on the arm, but Johnny isn’t about to start handing over body parts this early on without a fight! He suddenly spins around, ripping his arm free of Jimmy’s grasp and nails the Straight-Bread Sensation in the jaw with an elbow!

 

*CRACK!*

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!”

 

Jimmy stumbles back with a hand to his jaw, feeling his lip for blood as he angrily glares at his opponent. The feeling is mutual, and Johnny stares back just as well--rather intensely in fact--while taking the half second he has to work the kink out of his shoulder. The heated moment sends a buzz through the Bolivian crowd. The cameras move in a little closer to try and get a good close up of these two men and the heated stare down.

 

Jimmy lets out a mighty roar while motioning for the Barracuda to bring it. Johnny glares hard. He knows that he has to keep himself cool and focused if he wants to stay mistake free and if he wants to win this match. However, when Jimmy winks at him is when the Barracuda’s eyes narrow… and he steps forward.

 

“And it seems like the Barracuda is suffering from an impaired judgment now,” suggests King as Johnny moves back towards Jimmy, ostensibly reaching for another lock up. Doom graciously reaches to accept the offer when Dangerous suddenly ducks down, wrapping one arm around the Jimmy’s waist while swinging his back leg up and over…

 

*CRACK!*

 

…and nails Jimmy square in the face with a Scorpion Kick!

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!”

 

“Finally!” exclaims Francis as Doom comes flying back into a corner post, knocked senseless! Johnny closes the gap, knowing he only has seconds to make good on this, and fires off a stiff round of right hands into the Straight-Bread Sensation’s skull! Herrington tries to push himself in between the two men while calling for a break, but the Barracuda isn’t about to concede to it just yet! He shoves the referee back out of his way before quickly spinning completely around and hammering Clark in the face with a spinning back fist to floor the Doomtopian!

 

*CRACK!*

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!”

 

“Johnny had better watch how he treats that referee,” warns Mac. “Toxxic got himself disqualified for hitting a referee last week.”

 

“Ordonez should learn to keep his damn distance!” snaps King, obviously still sore over the way last weeks main event ended. “He got what he deserved!”

 

The crowd goes completely wild as Jimmy falls limp onto the mat, and those cheers start to really get Dangerous fired up! Even with the referee following alongside him, admonishing the Barracuda for shoving him back, all Dangerous hears is the cheers of all those gathered in the arena. Johnny rips his shirt off to the appreciative shrieks of all the deprived Bolivian women and flings it into the stands as a chant of his name rings out:

 

 

“JOHN-NY!”

 

“JOHN-NY!”

 

“JOHN-NY!”

 

“JOHN-NY!”

 

 

“It’s about time that the Barracuda started fighting against Jimmy the smart way,” says Francis. “He let emotions get the best of him at the start of this, which played right into Jimmy’s hands, but now he’s starting to focus and take over the match.”

 

“I hope you aren’t serious,” says King. “Jimmy the Doom isn’t about to let the Barracuda’s five second offensive end the match for him. He came here to put a stop to any and all of the Barracuda’s momentum!”

 

With one hand, Jimmy reaches for the top rope to pull himself up while patting his lip, checking for blood. The shots have left him a little dazed, but more angered than anything. He gets all the way up to a vertical base and Johnny is stopped half way across the ring, beckoning the Straight-Bread nearer.

 

“COME ON, JIMM-AY!” Johnny shouts with the cameras still picking it up. He tries to entice his opponent in, and gets more cheers from the fans for the effort.

 

However, Jimmy is no fool and he certainly isn’t about to rush in for Johnny Dangerous half cocked – he’ll leave that kind of brainless tactics for the Barracuda. He carefully steps forward, off the ropes, making sure his dazed spell has left and once more the two start to circle each other as the noise of the crowd swirls all around them! Suddenly, Johnny feigns closing in on his opponent, but Doom isn’t buying. Not this time. He stands still, readying himself for whatever hair-brained scheme the Barracuda has cooked up this time…

 

*CRACK!*

 

…but apparently he still doesn’t see Johnny coming with his faithful right knuckles! He clocks Jimmy square in the chin, rocking his head on that Straight-Bread neck and then swings a second time, but this time Jimmy is ready! He ducks down and floats around behind the Barracuda, wrapping his arms around the secret agent’s waist, looking to take him off his feet with a deadly German suplex! It never comes though, and you can thank the quick thinking of Johnny Dangerous sandbagging all his weight down as he pries Jimmy’s fingers off of his waist! Dangerous quickly spins around, reversing the situation on Doom and tightly grabbing around Jimmy’s midsection instead!

 

“He’s got him!” shouts Francis, but before Dangerous can start the motions for his German-

 

*CRACK!*

 

-elbows fly backwards! Johnny ducks the first, but he isn’t as lucky with a second that catches him right in the temple to an “OOOOOH!” from the crowd, briefly stunning him, which is all Jimmy needs. He grabs Johnny’s arm then spins out to face his opponent while twisting, turning, and striving to take Johnny’s arm into a wrench, “-and Jimmy is trying to take control of Johnny’s arm,” notes Francis, “but I’m not sure what kind of success he’ll have with this as submissions are certainly not his foray.”

 

“Please,” scoffs King. “How much expertise does someone need to crank back on someone’s arm until its hurting?”

 

“Well I…”

 

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about,” Suicide King finishes.

 

However, Dangerous powers out before Jimmy can get a firm hold of the arm – spinning out of the hardcore Champion’s grasp then swinging his leg around with a spinning heel kick! NO! Jimmy ducks down just enough to miss the intended kick, which whizzes just slightly past his head, and then he grabs around Johnny’s waist once more. This time Dangerous has no time to sandbag and Doom hauls him up, over, and down to the mat with a textbook German suplex!

 

*WHAM!*

 

Doom holds the bridge, as Suicide King marvels, “What a photo op!” and Red Herrington counts:

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TW-NO! Johnny gets the shoulder up and quickly rolls up to his feet. Unfortunately, Jimmy isn’t about to give the Barracuda any room to breathe and he grabs Johnny by the arm to send him barreling across the ring with an Irish whip! Johnny rebounds towards Doom and suddenly dives towards him with a shoulder block, flooring the Hardcore Champion before taking his turn at the three-count!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TW-NO!

 

“Jimmy gets the shoulder up right at two,” reports Mak. “These two are really starting to heat up that ring once more. Thankfully, the Barracuda finally has Jimmy on his toes as he tries to guess where Johnny‘s next flurry of attacks will come from.”

 

“Please, like Johnny is that versatile.”

 

Jimmy gets back up and already Dangerous is heading across the ring once more. Doom quickly bellies out as the Barracuda comes back towards him, hot off the ropes, and Dangerous floats right over him and then continues towards the opposite side of the ring. Once more Johnny comes back off the ropes, trying to build some serious steam against his opponent, but the Straight-Bread Sensation quickly jumps back to his feet with his arm cocked back and-

 

 

*SMACK!* “WHOOOOOOOOO!”

*SMACK!* “WHOOOOOOOOO!”

*SMACK!* “WHOOOOOOOOO!”

*SMACK!* “WHOOOOOOOOO!”

 

 

-unloads on the Barracuda with a series of eye-watering knife-edge chops, lighting up Dangerous’ tanned chest! Those chops send Johnny staggering backwards into the ropes, clutching his stinging chest and grimacing in pain as Jimmy takes off towards the opposite side of the ring then comes charging right back at the secret agent-

 

*WHACK!*

 

“OOOOOOOOH!!”

 

“And Jimmy the Doom absolutely PLASTERS Johnny in the chest with a stiff lariat, sending him tumbling over the top rope to the cold, thinly-padded concrete floor!” reports King, “that was about as brutal as having a tire iron wrapped across your chest!”

 

“While I certainly have doubts that Jimmy is packing that kind of a punch, he’s definitely been successful at thwarting most of all the Barracuda’s offense,” the Franchise says. “Johnny is getting himself into some dark territory here… and Doom is enjoying every minute of it.”

 

A wide-toothed grin dresses Jimmy’s face as he glares down at Johnny Dangerous, struggling to gather his bearings, “-and I think Alan had forgotten the rush that comes from just completely dominating someone; stomping out what little flame of hope and desire that burns inside Johnny Dangerous,” says King.

 

Mak Francis just shakes his head.

 

Jimmy takes off across the ring once more as Johnny reaches out for the ring apron and starts dragging himself to his feet! All the while, Herrington counts on towards the dreaded ten-count for Dangerous being on the outside of the ring. But the count looks like it will quickly come to a close - Johnny having pulled himself all the way up to his feet and-

 

*CRACK!*

 

Hot off running the ropes Jimmy races back in, drops to his posterior, and stretches both feet out and into the Barracuda’s face with a picture-perfect baseball slide!

 

 

Herrington admonishes Doom but he simply waves the stanch referee off and slides under the bottom rope, out of the ring, and heads towards Dangerous. Herrington restarts his count as Jimmy grabs Johnny by the scalp of his hair and drags him to his feet before pushing him up against the crowd barricade, and cutting loose with more chops!

 

“OOONEE!”

 

*SMACK!* “WHOOOOOOOOO!”

 

“TWOOOO!”

 

*SMACK!* “WHOOOOOOOOO!”

 

“THREEEE!”

 

*SMACK!* “WHOOOOOOOOO!”

 

“FOOOUUR!”

 

Jimmy struts away momentarily, cockily shaking off his hand and blowing on it while Johnny drops to one knee, cradling his chest.

 

“FIIIIVVVE!”

 

Suddenly, Jimmy comes rushes back towards the Barracuda from behind and nails him in the back of the head with a running palm strike!

 

*CRACK!*

 

“Oh, man,” says Mak, wincing at the impact of Johnny going face-first into the floor. “Jimmy the Doom is just terrorizing the Barracuda out there right now!”

 

“What comes around goes around,” King replies. “Johnny’s ran all over people for years, and this is what he’s done to all of them - Payback’s a (BEEP!)ch!”

 

Finally, Herrington has seen enough. He drops out of the ring and orders Jimmy to get Johnny back into the ring, and so Jimmy grabs the Barracuda by his collar and heaves him into the ring, under the bottom rope, before climbing to the apron. Johnny is sprawled on the canvas face-up, not to far from where Doom stands on the outside of the ring. Obviously, this gives Doom no choice but go all out, cruiserweight style, and he reaches forward to grab the middle rope then springs to the top rope and vaults off, turning 450 degrees in midair before coming down hard on the Barracuda!

 

“What an absolutely incredible splash by Jimmy the Doom!” calls King. “This could be all over!”

 

 

 

ONE!!!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!

 

 

 

 

 

TH-NO!!!! Johnny kicks out then rolls up to his hands and knees. Jimmy, meanwhile, gets back to his feet and takes a step back. With Dangerous still stunned, he takes advantage by sliding forward and hitting him with a perfect sitdown dropkick to the head! Dangerous collapses again. This time, though, Jimmy grabs him by the arms and drags him towards a corner.

 

“Oh, good lord,” murmurs Francis, knowing (as all the fans do) what’s about to happen. “Jimmy’s Jump coming right up!”

 

Johnny isn’t about to let himself get dragged around like a rag doll, though, so long as he can help it, anyway. He fights back, pulling his arm away from Doom before the Hardcore Champion plants a boot on Johnny’s face and scrapes it forward! Johnny grabs his face, screaming in pain as the sole of Jimmy’s bright boot grinds the skin on his face. Doom smirks, then kicks away Johnny’s hands and plants his boot on his face once again, and then once again scrapes it off! Sadistically, Doom nails a stiff toe-kick to Johnny’s chin before boot-scraping him a third time! Dangerous, still stunned from the kicks and boot-scrapes, can’t put up a fight as Doom grabs his leg and looks for a spinning toe-hold.

 

“Is Jimmy going for a figure-four?” asks Francis. “Jimmy has gone from a brawler to a submission master over night.”

 

“Everyone uses the figure four now days,” says King sarcastically. “It’s the new ankle lock of the SWF and who better to give your newfound knowledge a test than Johnny Dangerous?”

 

As Jimmy steps around, he reaches for Dangerous’ free leg… only to be grabbed by the head and pulled to the mat in a small package!

 

ONE!!!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

TH-KICKOUT! Jimmy rolls away, but Dangerous pops back up to his feet, his eyes blazing! Jimmy seethes as he gets to his feet, only to eat a dropkick to the face that sends him staggering backwards into a corner! He tries to fight his way out, but Johnny beats him to the punch by running in and nailing him with a koppo kick! As Dangerous recovers from the somersaulting whip kick, Jimmy slumps into the corner, wincing in pain.

 

“Johnny Dangerous is starting to come alive in there,” Francis announces, “and Jimmy is quickly loosing the footing he had a death lock on.”

 

Knowing good and well that he can’t lean against the post and ride the pain out, Jimmy moves out of the corner and heads towards Johnny.

 

“Dangerous has certainly put a stinging on Jimmy’s chest in the last few seconds but he knows he let it ruin the match for him,” says King. “However, all Doom is doing is taking himself out of his own game plan and letting the Barracuda’s take over by closing in much to early.”

 

Indeed, the Barracuda is a master of close quarters combat, and when Jimmy attempts to sock Dangerous in the mouth he misses by a mile-

 

*CRACK!*

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”

 

-and has no time to dodge the Barracuda’s Shotei palmstrike, which nails him in the forehead, right between the eyes! Doom staggers from the shot and stumbles back-

 

*CRACK!*

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”

 

-and eats a second straight Shotei! The blow hits so hard that it sends him stumbling backwards and falling into the ropes! Jimmy struggles to his feet. Even in his incoherent state he tries to press on and keep himself from becoming a victim, but there’s nothing he can do to avoid a Johnny Kick. That goes flying into his skull and it connects with a mighty *CRACK~!* to finally put the Doomtopian down! Finally, the Barracuda has him and he drops down, applying a lateral press as Herrington counts:

 

ONE!!

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“DENIED!” shouts King, as Jimmy manages to just barely thrust his shoulder off the mat, not a fraction of a second before Herrington was to make the three-count! “Jimmy the Doom just took a hell of a beating, but it wasn’t enough to put him down for good! What a tough son of a bitch he is!”

 

The crowd roars with approval, but it doesn’t please Johnny. He knows he’ll have to take this one step further and so he turns to the fans and signals for death.

 

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”

 

“He wouldn’t!” shouts King, but he heads for the nearby post as Jimmy lies nearly motionless on the mat. He had enough energy to kick out, but that was about it.

 

“It looks like Dangerous is going to end this with the Moonsault double stomp,” says Mak. “He last hit this on Danny Williams and we haven’t seen Deathwish since!”

 

“I’m sure that pleases you just fine.”

 

“Oh, shut up!”

 

Dangerous takes his spot at the top of the turnbuckle and then stands to a vertical base, facing the roaring crowd. He closes his eyes then leaps off the post, into the ring with a perfect moonsault. Flashbulbs explode. Time seems to stand still as every one in attendance watches as the Barracuda floats gracefully through the air then unfolds over Jimmy, coming down with two feet into the Straight-Bread Sensation’s chest!

 

*WHACK!*

 

“DEATH FROM ABOVE~!” Mak Francis calls, “this one is over!”

 

Again Dangerous makes the cover as Herrington drops to count. Nobody gets up from that and Johnny can rest in assurance for:

 

ONE!!

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!!!

 

*DING DING DING!!!*

 

Johnny Dangerous’ theme comes blaring over the speakers after the match ends, and the referee raises Johnny’s arm victoriously!

 

“The winner of this match by pinfall,” booms Funyon. “JOHNNY ‘THE BARRACUDA’ DAAAAAAAAAAAANGEROUS!!”

 

“What a match,” says Mak. “I really thought Jimmy had the Barracuda for a while but then Dangerous came roaring back and stole the victory, punctuating it with the Death from Above. That move could be the deadliest finisher in the SWF and it’s owned by the Barracuda. What could that mean for the rest of his future opponents?”

 

Mak’s question is left lingering in people’s minds as the cameras zoom out, leaving a final shot on the Barracuda…

 

 

As we:

FADE OUT.

Edited by chirs3

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“FUCK!”

 

Drake kicks the door of his locker room so hard it nearly comes off the hinges as he enters, then starts stripping his shirt off. His match with Edward James is coming up very shortly, and he has to make sure he’s there on time. Flesher has been very pointed about what will happen to the careers of men who don’t turn up for their matches… but he can’t go out and wrestle like this. He feels horrible, his hair’s stuck together - hell, he could deal with that, but his eyelashes are sticking together! There’s nothing for it; he needs a shower. He’ll keep it quick and hope Jimmy The Doom and Johnny Dangerous don’t have some sort of three-minute classic, then get changed and get out there. And work off some of his aggression on that lumbering hulk Edward James, before finding The Fabulous Jakey and ripping him into small pieces.

 

Drake ditches the last of his clothing and jumps into the shower, relieved that he’d already got his wrestling tights out before Jakey knocked at the door. Every second might count to get to the ring on time…

Edited by chirs3

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FADE IN

 

 

“Welcome back to Storm!” says an excited Mak Francis. “You know, King, it was just under two months ago that Jimmy the Doom pinned Calvin Szechstein in a triple threat match to wrest the World Cruiserweight Championship from the Wildchild, in a match where Wildchild was never actually pinned!”

 

“I’ve got no love lost for Wildchild,” says the Suicide King, “and that’s no secret… but, having said that, it’s an unfortunate circumstance to be placed in a match like that, where the champion doesn’t have to be beaten to lose his title!”

 

“Well, I remember that, when you were the Heavyweight Champion, you definitely wanted to hold onto the title at all costs,” says Mak, “so I guess I can see where you’re coming from.”

 

“Damn straight!” agrees Kings emphatically. “I’ve always been a proponent of the Champion’s advantage; it should never be easier to win a title than it is to hold onto it, so of course I’m going to be against any matches where the rules allow for a title to change hands without the champion getting beat!”

 

“King’s logical argument against triple threat matches notwithstanding,” says Mak, “there’s no sense in crying over spilt milk… the fact remains that Jimmy the Doom did, in fact, win the World Cruiserweight Championship at From the Fire, making it not only the first time in nearly two years that Wildchild had lost on Pay Per View, but the first time ever that he had lost at From the Fire! Still, you had to believe that Wildchild was entitled to a rematch for the belt… but sometimes things don’t go according to plan!”

 

“Well, sometimes it helps to have friends in high places!” explains King. “For as much as Tom Flesher may not care for Toxxic’s brand of politics, there’s no question that he’s one of the more influential individuals in the SWF today! The Fabulous Jakey, as a member of Toxxic’s new Revolution Zero, took advantage of Toxxic’s clout to jump the line of succession and get himself an immediate title shot…”

 

“Which he capitalized on,” continues Mak, “upsetting Jimmy the Doom to become the new World Cruiserweight Champion! But, unfortunately for Jakey, Wildchild is still owed a rematch, and tonight is when the SWF Championship Committee has decided that he gets to cash it in!”

 

“First of all,” says King, “everybody knows that a committee is a life form with six or more legs and no brain! If it weren’t for the committee, Wildchild wouldn’t have lost the belt under such ridiculous circumstances, and if it weren’t for that same committee, Jakey wouldn’t have to make his first title defense on the very next show after he won the title!”

 

“Again, King,” counters Mak, “you’re locking the barn after the horse is stolen! The committee may have dropped the ball, but what’s done is done, and tonight we have what should be a tremendous match coming up!”

 

“Well, circumstances being what they are,” ponders King, “I’d like to see Jakey retain. It’d be a big win for both him, and Revolution Zero… but I somehow have my doubts.”

 

“And if you look at the history, Wildchild has been extremely successful against members of Revolution Zero not named Toxxic,” remarks Francis. “In fact, I don’t know that he’s ever lost to any member of Revolution Zero other than Toxxic. And, not only that, but we are talking about the World Cruiserweight Championship, the one possession that Wildchild covets more than anything in all of professional wrestling.”

 

“Well, ordinarily in situations like this, I like to recommend cheating,” says King. “After all, it’s not how you play the game, it’s whether you win or lose… But Jakey has the dubious honor of being part of a group headed by a guy that doesn’t believe in cheating, so if he tries to follow that example, he’s got a long night ahead of him!”

 

“King, I think he’s got a long night ahead of him either way,” replies Mak. “But we’ve wasted enough time talking; let’s send it up to Funyon for our ring introductions!”

 

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” booms Funyon, the following contest is for the SWF World Cruiserweight Championship!” The massive ring announcer then hands the microphone to the Spanish announcer, who repeats the proclamation for the live audience:

 

“¡Señoras y Señores, este fósforo están para el campeonato de Cruiserweight del mundo de SWF!”

 

 

YEAAAAAAAAAAH!

 

With that, the lights in the arena go dark as Redman’s “Let’s Get Dirty” begins to play. The fans go crazy as Wildchild and Melissa make their way out onto the stage! The challenger and his main squeeze then continue on down the ramp, slapping hands with the fans at ringside.

 

“This contest is scheduled for one fall!” booms Funyon. “Making his way towards the ring at this time, and being accompanied by Melissa Fasaki, is the challenger! From the Bahamas, and weighing two hundred fourteen pounds… the WIIIIILDCHIIIIILD!”

 

“¡Esta competencia programar para una caída! ¡La fabricación de su manera hacia el anillo en este tiempo, y siendo acompañado por Srta. Melissa Fasaki, es el desafiador! ¡De las Bahamas, y de pesar doscientas catorce libras... el WIIIIILDCHIIIIILD!”

 

 

YEAAAAAAAAAAH!

 

 

“Wildchild has a lot of fans here in Bolivia!” shouts Mak. Wildchild removes his shin guards and hands them to Melissa, giving her a quick peck before somersaulting into the ring between the bottom and middle ropes; the Bahama Bomber quickly rolls to his feet and heads over towards the edge of the ring, climbing up onto the ropes to salute the crowd, as the lights come back on.

 

“Wildchild looks like he’s getting ready to put on a show!” says Mak, as “Let’s Get Dirty” fades out.

 

“That doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s going to win,” replies King, as a techno beat begins playing throughout the arena. Fans begin booing as the new Champion steps out onto the stage.

 

“His opponent,” boom Funyon, “hails from Minneapolis, Minnesota! Weighing one hundred sixty pounds, here is the reigning, and defending, SWF World Cruiserweight Champion… the Fabulous Jakey!” Jakey makes his way to the ring, sneering at the catcalling fans.

 

“¡Su opositor graniza de Minneapolis, Minnesota! ¡Pesando cientos sesenta libras, aquí es el reinado, y el defender, campeón de Cruiserweight del mundo de SWF... el Jakey Fabuloso!”

 

 

BOOOOOOOOOO!

 

Jakey walks up the steps and enters the ring through the ropes, then stands in the center and undoes his trenchcoat, then removes it with arms spread out. Jakey then flings the coat over his shoulder before parking it in the corner; he removes his Championship belt and hands it to referee Red Herrington, and then stands in the center of the ring and raises both arms.

 

“The new champion looks quite confident,” notes Mak, as Herrington displays the Championship belt for the crowd. “Let’s see how confident he is here in a few minute!” Herrington hands the belt over to the departing Funyon and motions to the timekeeper to ring the bell, signifying the start of the match:

 

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

“Bell’s gone,” shouts Mak, “and we’re underway!” WC and Jakey meet in the center of the ring for a collar-and-elbow tie-up, which Wildchild immediately takes advantage of, shifting behind Jakey into a waistlock before shooting in with an ankle pick, as he takes Jakey over and down with a waistlock takeover. Before the Champion can recover, WC leaps into the air and comes crashing down onto his back with a standing senton splash! WC quickly bounds to his feet and runs towards the edge of the ring, picking up speed to come off the ropes with a basement dropkick, but is still quick enough to put on the brakes as Jakey rolls out of the way.

 

“A very inauspicious start by the champion,” says Mak, “as he finds himself beat to the punch right off the bat… but at least he had the presence of mind to move out of the way of that dropkick!

 

 

“You have to wonder how much Toxxic was able to prepare him for what he’d be facing tonight,” ponders King.

 

“King, as someone who’s actually been in the ring against Wildchild, take my word for it,” replies Mak, “You can watch all the tape in the world, you can read every scouting report… and it’s still going to take you by surprise when you get in the ring with him; there’s nothing that can prepare you for just how fast and athletic this guy is!” Jakey and Wildchild meet once again in the center of the ring, this time with the Champion taking control with a go-behind into a waistlock, but before he can follow up on that move, the Bahama Bomber reaches back to hook his arm underneath Jakey’s, and rolls away from his body, takes the Champion over with a reverse armdrag! Jakey gets back to his feet and charges towards Wildchild, only to be taken over with a Japanese-style armdrag! WC beats the Champion to his feet once again and takes him over with a conventional armdrag, this time holding him down against the canvas by planting a knee in the side of Jakey’s neck as he shifts the armdrag into a kneeling armbar!

 

“Tremendous series of moves by the challenger!” says Mak. “He’s definitely got the early advantage!” Jakey negotiates his way to his feet and pulls WC by the hair to push him back against the edge of the ring; Jakey then sends Wildchild across the ring, but the Caribbean Cruiser knocks him down with a running shoulderblock as he bounces off the ropes!

 

Wildchild runs to the ropes again, and this time Jakey is waiting for him; the Fabulous One hooks WC’s are as he rebounds and takes him over with a hiptoss, but the Tropical Tumbler lands deftly on his feet! Wildchild suddenly leaps into the air and lands on Jakey’s shoulders; he locks his ankles behind the Champion’s neck as he arches backwards to take Jakey over with a rana! The Human Hurricane beats Jakey to his feet and runs along side him, leaping into the air and locking his ankles on the side of the Champion’s neck, before flipping Jakey through the air with a flying side headscissors takeover! Jakey gets to his feet and charges at the challenger, who avoids him with a leapfrog; WC hooks Jakey under the arm as he bounces off the ropes and takes him over with a hiptoss, but the Fabulous One lands on his feet! Jakey congratulates himself before turning his attention back to Wildchild…

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

… And eats a standing dropkick for his trouble! The Human Hurricane beats Jakey to his feet and runs towards the edge of the ring, leaping into the air and landing on the top rope; the challenger curls into a ball as he springs back into the ring…

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

… And blasts Jakey in the chest with a Pinball attack that knocks him across the ring! WC again beats Jakey to his feet and charges towards him, suddenly springing off the canvas and whipping his leg sharply through the air to smack the Champion in the throat with a leg lariat that sends him tumbling through the ropes and out to the area floor! WC waits for Jakey to stand up and then dashes across the ring; he dives headfirst towards the edge of the ring, prompting the Champion to move to safety, but Wildchild merely plants his hands on the canvas and uses the ropes to propel his body back towards the center of the ring as he performs a handspring backflip! The Fabulous One slams his hands on the ring apron in frustration as Wildchild continues to get the better of him!

 

“The tempo’s really picked up in this match!” exclaims Mak, as Red Herrington begins counting Jakey out of the ring. “And that doesn’t work in the champion’s favor; he’s not going to be able to keep up with the Wildchild!”

 

“I have to agree,” says King grudgingly, as Jakey continues to stall outside the ring. “Jakey’s got to do something to slow the tempo down. Wildchild is like the Phoenix Suns in the NBA: you have to try and take him out of his rhythm. If you try to wrestle at his pace, he’ll kill you!” Jakey takes every second of his allotted twenty-count before climbing back up on the apron. Jakey looks into the ring at his opponent and then begins to step through the ropes, only to pause and return to the apron, taunting the crowd with a flamboyant pose:

 

 

BOOOOOOOOOO!

 

 

“I’m not sure what this is all about,” Mak wonders aloud.

 

“Well, he’s doing what we both agreed he’d have to do if he wants to win,” replies King. “And that’s slow the match down.” Jakey finally returns to the ring and approaches Wildchild to engage in a tie-up, only to stun him with a rake of the eyes! Jakey scoops WC up into his arms and slams him forcefully back down to the canvas; he then follows up by delivering a series of stiff kicks to the challenger’s spine! Jakey pulls Wildchild to his feet and grabs him by the wrist, whipping him hard into the turnbuckle; he follows up by heading in after him and raising his boot up underneath WC’s windpipe to administer a choke.

 

“The Fabulous Jakey definitely appears to have things going in his favor right now,” notes Mak, as Herrington begins to deliver a count to the Champion.

 

“He’s got the pace of the match where it’s more in his favor,” agrees King. “I know that he likes to wrestle a fast pace most of the time, but that’s obviously not going to work against Wildchild, just because the guy is so much faster!”

 

“Not to mention better at working that particular style of match,” adds Mak, as Jakey finally breaks short of the five-count. He pulls WC to his feet and whips him across the ring into the opposite corner; the Fabulous One follows in after him and leaps up onto WC’s shoulders, locking his hands behind the challenger’s head and arching backwards to take him over with a monkey flip out of the corner, but the Caribbean Cruiser lands on his feet…

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

… And leaps into the air before Jakey can get off his back, driving his forehead into the bridge of the Champion’s nose with a headbutt!

 

 

YEAAAAAAAAAAH!

 

 

“That has to be considered a tactical error on the part of the Fabulous Jakey,” says Mak, as Wildchild traps Jakey in a kneeling armbar. “He went for that monkey flip a little too early!”

 

“That he did,” agrees King. “He didn’t have Wildchild compromised enough to go for a high-risk move! He should have done more to keep him grounded!” Jakey gets back to his feet, again pulling the back of Wildchild’s hair to lead him back to the ropes; the Fabulous One drives a knee into WC’s midsection and grabs him by the wrist to whip him across the ring, but Wildchild once again knocks him to the canvas with ease, as he comes off with another shoulderblock!”

 

“And I can see Jakey getting himself into trouble here, because of his size,” says King. “I mean, this is a guy that’s giving up as much as seventy pounds to opponents in his own weight class! Wildchild is WELL within the Cruiserweight limit, and he’s got almost fifty-five pounds on Jakey!”

 

“And Wildchild is at his best when he’s in the ring against other cruiserweights,” adds Mak. “That’s when he’s able to use his full repertoire!” WC pulls Jakey to his feet and batters him with a barrage of piston-like right jabs! He backs Jakey into a corner and grabs him by the wrist to whip him across the ring, only for the Champion to counter, sending WC hard into the turnbuckle instead! Jakey charges into the corner to deliver a flying clothesline, but the Bahama Bomber sees it coming, and moves out of the way as if the Champion is traveling in slow motion, stepping aside as the Fabulous One crashes into the top turnbuckle! Wildchild runs to the ropes as Jakey staggers out of the corner and leaps into the air to deliver a flying attack, but the Champion ducks at the last second, causing WC to sail over the top rope! Wildchild has the ability to stop in mid-flight and land safely on the apron…

 

CRACK!

 

 

… But the Fabulous One knocks him off the apron and down to the floor with a sensational spin kick!

 

“Excellent ring awareness by the champion!” praises Mak. “He had that move very well scouted!” Jakey waits for WC to get to his feet and then dives feet-first towards the ropes, blasting the challenger in the chest with a basement dropkick!

 

“Jakey’s on a roll now,” says King, as the Fabulous One steps out onto the apron. “Now let’s see if he can capitalize on this!” Jakey dives off the apron to deliver a flying Thesz Press…

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

… But the Tropical Tumbler knocks him out of the air with a dropkick!

 

 

YEAAAAAAAAAAH!

 

 

“He didn’t get it!” says Mak. “He might have taken too much time to go for that!” WC pulls Jakey to his feet and traps him in a front waistlock before powering him backwards into the hard rubber ring barricade! Wildchild then turns away from Jakey…

 

 

CRACK!

 

 

… Before leaping into the air as he swings back around suddenly, crushing Jakey with a Gamengiri that sends him over the top of the barricade and out into the crowd!

 

“Big time move by the challenger!” shouts Mak, as WC somersaults back into the ring. “And I have a feeling that he’s not done yet!” Wildchild grabs onto the top rope and slings himself up there, before twisting around to face the ring as he springs backwards out of the ring, out into the crowd… crashing into Jakey with a breathtaking springboard moonsault! WC tumbles over the barricade and returns to the ring, where he soaks in the adulation of the approving fans:

 

 

DUB-CEE!

DUB-CEE!

DUB-CEE!

DUB-CEE!

 

“Wildchild is on fire!” shouts Mak, as Jakey stumbles back over the barricade. “The Fabulous Jakey made a huge mistake in trying to take the match outside; he isn’t strong enough to mix it up with his fists out there, and he doesn’t have the versatility in his offense to keep a veteran like Wildchild off-guard!”

 

“I thought that he had finally broken through with a good strategy when he got in that thumb to the eyes to slow the match down,” says King. “But he still seems to want to ramp the tempo up, which is a mistake. I mean, I guess that’s what he’s used to, because that’s how he wrestles against most people, but when you’re in the ring with a guy that can wrestle at that pace better than you, then you’ve got to go to your Plan B!” Jakey slides back into the ring and scrambles to his feet, getting nose-to-nose with the challenger; the Fabulous One then plants both hands onto WC’s chest and shoves him backwards! Wildchild stumbles back a few feet, but gets right back in Jakey’s face, shoving him backwards in response, and knocking him down to the canvas! Jakey gets to his feet and walks back over to Wildchild…

 

 

SLAP!

 

 

OOOOOOOOOOH!

 

 

… And slaps him across the face! The fans cry out in shock as Wildchild staggers backwards, rubbing the sting out of his cheek while Jakey looks back at him, smirking as if to say, “Well, what are you going to do about it?”

 

 

SLAP!

 

OOOOOOOOOOH!

 

 

So Wildchild slaps him right back! Jakey winds his arm back and blasts Wildchild in the chest with a vicious reverse knife-edge chop, to which Wildchild replies with one of his own. The two combatants exchange chops as the fans decide to add their own sound effects:

 

 

SMACK! WHOOOOOOOOOO!

SMACK! WHOOOOOOOOOO!

SMACK! WHOOOOOOOOOO!

SMACK! WHOOOOOOOOOO!

SMACK! WHOOOOOOOOOO!

SMACK! WHOOOOOOOOOO!

 

 

The Fabulous One breaks up the exchange of chops by stunning Wildchild with a kneelift to the midsection, and then whips him across the ring, towards a neutral corner, but the Bahama Bomber reverses, sending Jakey into the turnbuckles instead, and surprising him by lifting him up off the canvas as he staggers back towards the center of the ring, planting him with a Scoop Slam! Wildchild bends down to pick Jakey up, but the Champion grabs him by the hair and tosses him aside. As both men scramble to their feet, Jakey grabs Wildchild and puts him back down with a Scoop Slam of his own, only to get kicked away by the challenger! Jakey rolls to his feet as Wildchild nips up, but instead of standing their staring at each other, Wildchild grabs Jakey by the head again and takes him back down to the mat with a side-headlock takeover! Jakey pounds the mat in frustration as he rolls onto his belly, with Wildchild still in control of the headlock.

 

“Well, I was going to say that drawing Wildchild into that slap fight would be to Jakey’s advantage,” says King, “but Wildchild has been able to maintain control throughout; he’s really got to think of something else! Jakey negotiates his way to his feet and pushes Wildchild into the ropes, but the Caribbean Cruiser ducks behind him as he rebounds and rises up off the mat, locking his arms and legs around the Champion’s arms and pitching backwards as he rolls Jakey into a Crucifix pin!

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

 

Jakey gets over his astonishment and kicks out at two, but Wildchild beats him to his feet and takes him back down yet again with that side-headlock takeover! The crowd cheers loudly as Wildchild continues to beat the Fabulous One to the punch. This time, Wildchild presses his body weight onto the Champion and tries to get a fluke pin…

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

… But Jakey immediately rolls his shoulder off the canvas at one! The Fabulous One locks his hands underneath Wildchild’s chin and bends his neck back with a modified crossface, but Wildchild is able to slip out of that, while still maintaining the headlock. Both men get back to their feet, and Jakey slams a volley of stiff forearms into Wildchild’s lower back to free himself, before pushing Wildchild back into the ropes, but the Bahama Bomber explodes off the ropes, twisting in midair to knock Jakey down with a flying back elbow! Wildchild scrambles over to him and hooks the leg as Red Herrington drops down to count the pinfall:

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

But Jakey kicks out forcefully, sending Wildchild rolling underneath the bottom rope and out to the floor. The Caribbean Cruiser leaps onto the apron as Jakey gets back to his feet, and lunges his upper body between the top and middle ropes, burying his shoulder into the Champion’s midsection. Wildchild pulls his body back out onto the apron, and then grabs onto the top rope, using it as a slingshot to propel his body into the ring, and he wraps his arms around Jakey’s waist as he flies overhead, pulling him into a Sunset Flip!

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THR—

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

 

Jakey is just able to kick out before the three count, and as he scrambles back to his feet Wildchild traps him in another side-headlock! This earns another frustrated pound of the mat by the Champion as the fans are cheering for Wildchild in full force:

 

 

DUB CEE!

DUB CEE!

DUB CEE!

DUB CEE!

 

Jakey gets back to his feet and slowly backs Wildchild against the ropes, having learned not to make the mistake of letting him get a head of steam. Red Herrington calls for a break, and Jakey uses the distraction to bury his knee into Wildchild’s midsection, driving the air right out of him!

 

“Well, that’s one way to get out of a hold!” says King.

 

“That was the second or third time Jakey has used that kneelift to the midsection in this match,” notes Mak, “and it looks like it’s starting to take its toll on the Wildchild!” Jakey delivers another kneelift that knocks Wildchild on his back, and then picks up both of his legs, holding them apart as he delivers a stomp to the challenger’s midsection! Wildchild rolls onto his knees to protect himself, but Jakey takes a running start and buries a punt kick into Wildchild’s side!

 

“And Jakey is finally able to establish himself offensively in this match, and he is relentless, King!” remarks Mak. “It’s like he felt the threat of losing, and a switch has snapped on inside his head!”

 

“If that’s true, then it’s going to be a long night for the Wildchild,” replies King. Jakey pulls Wildchild to his feet and leaps into the air, whipping his body through the air to blast the unprepared challenger in the face with a spinning wheel kick that sends him tumbling out of the ring!

 

“Standing spin wheel kick by Jakey,” notes Mak. “Surprising agility on the part of the World Cruiserweight Champion!” Jakey runs to the ropes as Wildchild pulls himself to his feet outside the ring and dives feet first towards the edge of the ring as he rebounds, blasting Wildchild in the face with a baseball slide that sends him staggering backwards into the ring barricade! Jakey scrambles back to his feet, runs back to the ropes as Wildchild stumbles away from the barricade, this time dives headfirst towards the edge of the ring, sailing between the top, and middle ropes…

 

 

CRASH!

 

 

… And crashing into the unsuspecting Wildchild with a suicide dive! The Fabulous One pulls Wildchild’s head up off the canvas and begins to hammer him with forearms to the face as the referee begins to count both men out on the floor!

 

“Jakey’s having a little more success with the high risk this time!” says King.

 

“Well, he did the smart thing by getting Wildchild into a more compromised position this time, before trying something like that,” says Mak.

 

 

FOUR!

 

 

FIVE!

 

 

Jakey pulls himself off of the challenger and returns to the ring, holding the ropes open as Wildchild did earlier in the bout. The Bahama Bomber climbs wearily back onto the apron and steps between the ropes…

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

… But Jakey nails him with a kick to the midsection while he is only half-way into the ring!

 

“Yikes!” cringes Mak. “A shot like makes me glad I’m retired!” Jakey stands up and pulls Wildchild to his feet, snaring him in a front-facelock and reaching down to grab the leg…

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

… Before snatching the challenger suddenly off the mat, jerking him overhead and back down with a snap suplex! Jakey releases his grip and rolls out to the apron; he climbs up onto the top turnbuckle and leaps into the ring, crashing into WC with a diving headbutt!

 

 

“Suicide headbutt,” shouts Mak. “Perhaps a little payback from that earlier move!” Jakey applies a lateral press on the challenger as Herrington dives into position to check the pinfall:

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

Wildchild kicks out at two! Jakey heads over to the corner and climbs up to the middle ropes; the Fabulous One leaps fearlessly off the second ropes, descending upon Wildchild with a diving kneedrop…

 

 

CRASH!

 

 

… But the Bahama Bomber rolls towards the corner, safely avoiding the Fabulous One as he crashes into the mat!

 

“Crash and burn for Jakey!” cries Mak. “This could be the break that Wildchild needs to get back in this match!” Both men return to their feet at nearly the same time, and Jakey stalks towards Wildchild, trying to maintain his rapidly depleting advantage…

 

 

WAP!

 

 

… But the Bahama Bomber fights back, stunning him with a quick jab to the face!

 

 

WAP!

WAP!

WAP!

 

Wildchild continues to punch repeatedly, forcing him back to the edge of the ring, and then grabs him by the wrist, whipping him across the ring. Wildchild lowers his head to deliver a backdrop as Jakey bounces off the ropes…

 

 

SNAP!

 

 

… But the Fabulous One traps the Cruiserweight challenger in a front facelock and spins around suddenly, driving him into the canvas with a swinging neckbreaker!

 

“Neckbreaker!” shouts Mak, as Jakey drags Wildchild back towards the corner. Jakey pulls Wildchild to his feet and leaves him doubled over at the waist; he the traps him in a front-facelock and looks out at the timekeeper, cockily shouting, “Get my belt ready!”

 

“The Fabulous Jakey has Wildchild set up for that patented Tornado DDT!” says Mak. “If he hits this, it’s all over!” Jakey takes a running start towards the corner, alighting on the ropes…

 

WHAM!

 

… But the Bahama Bomber pulls out a tremendous counter, grabbing onto Jakey’s waist and arching backwards into a Northern Lights Suplex!

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

NO! Jakey kicks out at two!

 

“Oh my,” screams Mak. “What an AMAZING Northern Lights counter by the Wildchild!”

 

“Well, you know that Wildchild’s not going to quit when the World Cruiserweight Title is at stake,” says King. “It’ll be interesting to see what Jakey has left!”

 

The Human Hurricane drags himself over to the corner, and uses the ropes to pull himself to his feet. With another sudden burst of adrenaline, he leaps onto the top turnbuckle and spreads his legs apart, allowing his thighs to bounce off the ropes before flipping backwards into the ring…

 

 

SPLASH!

 

 

… Crashing into Jakey with a split-legged moonsault! He hooks the leg as Herrington dives to the canvas to deliver the count:

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

… But before Herrington’s hand can drop for a third time, Jakey drags his foot underneath the bottom rope!

 

“Jakey’s foot in underneath the rope,” says Mak. “The ref’s gotta stop the count!”

 

“Give Jakey credit,” says King. “That was great presence of mind for a rookie!” Wildchild gets to his feet and begins uncharacteristically arguing with the referee; Jakey takes advantage of the distraction to sneak up behind WC and lodge a kneelift into the small of WC’s back! He then grabs Wildchild by the back of the head, snaring him in an inverted front facelock…

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

… Before falling backwards, planting the Tropical Tumbler into the canvas with a Reverse DDT!

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THR—

 

 

KICKOUT!

 

The Fabulous One pulls Wildchild back to his feet, and grabs him by the wrist, whipping him towards the opposite edge of the ring…

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

… But the Caribbean Cruiser reverses the whip attempt, wrapping his free arm around Jakey’s neck as he pulls the challenger towards him, and then laces their inside legs together…

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

… Before dropping him on the mat with a Bahaman leg sweep!

 

“Counter,” cries Mak. “Wildchild countered that move into a Bahaman Leg Sweep! It’s anybody’s match now!” Melissa looks on with concern as Herrington begins to deliver a ten-count:

 

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THREE!

 

 

FOUR!

 

 

FIVE!

 

 

SIX!

 

 

SEVEN!

 

 

EIGHT!

 

 

At the count of eight, Jakey and Wildchild both begin to stir. They each get to their knees and begin to exchange punches.

 

 

WAP!

WHACK!

WAP!

WHACK!

WAP!

WHACK!

 

They continue to trade punches as they both get back to their feet, with Wildchild getting the better of it, but the Fabulous One doubles him over with a stunning knee to the midsection. He grabs him by the wrist and whips him across the ring, lowering his head to deliver a backdrop as Wildchild bounces off the ropes; WC leaps HIGH into the air, extending his leg over the back of Jakey’s neck to drive him face-first into the canvas with his patented Caribbean Cutter!

 

But Jakey moves out of the way! He positions himself behind Wildchild and pulls him into a school-boy rollup!

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

“He’s got the tights!” shouts Mak.

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

“Jakey’s got the damned tights!”

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

 

NO! WILDCHILD JUST BARELY KICKS OUT!

 

 

 

 

“Oh my!” shouts Mak. “That was a lucky break for the Wildchild! I thought for sure that Jakey was going to steal one there!” Jakey pulls WC to his feet and whips him across the ring, but the Bahama Bomber turns the tables on him; WC leapfrogs into the air to avoid him as he rebounds, and then runs in the other direction… the Human Hurricane suddenly breaks into a cartwheel as he bounces off the ropes, and leaps explosively into the air to catch Jakey unawares with a Space Flying Tiger Flip into a high cross-body block! The velocity of the move completely catches Jakey unawares, and the fifty-four pound weight differential knocks the wind out of him as Wildchild hooks the leg…

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

 

 

 

YEAAAAAAAAAAH!

 

 

“Let’s Get Dirty” begins to play again as an elated Wildchild rolls over onto his knees; Jakey slides out of the ring, virtually apoplectic that he’s lost his title so quickly

 

“He did it!” shouts Mak. “History has been made here in Bolivia! Wildchild has become a four-time World Cruiserweight Champion! Let’s go to Funyon for the official word!”

 

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

 

“Ladies and gentlemen,” booms Funyon, “the winner of this contest… and… NEEEEEW SWF World Cruiserweight Champion… the WIIIIILDCHIIIIILD!”

 

 

“¡Señoras y Señores, el ganador de esta competencia... y... NUUUUUEVO campeón de Cruiserweight del mundo de SWF... el WIIIIILDCHIIIIILD!”

 

Red Herrington hands Wildchild the Cruiserweight Championship and raises his hand in victory; Melissa comes in to celebrate with Wildchild, whose eyes remain focused on the still-disconsolate Jakey.

 

“Wait a second,” says Mak, as WC heads over towards the edge of the ring and sits on the ropes, “what’s going on here?”

 

“It looks like Wildchild wants Jakey back in the ring,” says King. “But heck if I know why!” With a confused look on his face, Jakey climbs back up onto the apron, but refuses to enter the ring. WC extends his hand to the former champion in a show of sportsmanship.

 

“Look at this!” shouts Mak. “Wildchild wants to let him know that it wasn’t personal!” Jakey considers his position for a moment, and then raises his right hand…

 

 

CRACK!

 

 

… And uses it to slap the taste out of Wildchild’s mouth!

 

 

 

 

BOOOOOOOOOO!

 

 

The fans boo loudly as Jakey drops down to the apron and screams, “You’re not the better man!”

 

“I guess Jakey didn’t appreciate Wildchild’s offer of sportsmanship!” notes Mak.

 

“He probably thought Wildchild was trying to show him up,” replies King. “I mean, you don’t want to shake the hand of the man that just beat you for the title!” King appears to be on the money, as Jakey is livid:

 

“That was a fluke!”

 

“You didn’t beat me!”

 

“I want my rematch!”

 

 

“The Fabulous Jakey is totally bent out of shape!” shouts Mak. “He doesn’t want to accept the loss!”

 

“Well, he thinks it was a fluke,” replies King. “And, given how it ended, he may have a case… but we’ll see what happens when he gets his rematch!”

 

Wildchild continues to look at the retreating (and still screaming) form of the Fabulous Jakey…

 

 

As we:

FADE OUT

Edited by chirs3

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“I’m standing here with former SWF World Cruiserweight Champion, the Fabulous Jakey,” says Ben Hardy. “Jakey, just a few moments ago, after the match had ended, Wildchild extended his hand to you in sportsmanship, and you slapped him across the face… why?”

 

“First of all, little man,” Jakey snarls at the rather larger Ben Hardy, “I don’t owe you, or anybody else an explanation! You saw what happened out there: he won on a fluke!”

 

“It looked like a clean pin to me,” says Ben.

 

“It was a fluke!” insists Jakey. “And, if this biased company wasn’t showing the wrong camera angle, you would have seen that he was holding my tights!”

 

“Now just a minute there, Jakey,” says Ben. “That’s a pretty strong accusation; Wildchild’s been competing here in the SWF for nearly five years, and I don’t think that he’s ever broken a rule like that…”

 

“I said he held the tights!” Jakey sputters. “He cheated! It was a fluke! He’s not the better man… I am! And when I get my rematch, I’m going to prove it!”

 

“Hey man, hang on jus’ a minute dere,” says WC, just coming into the picture. “I don’ know what you’re problem is, but I beat you fair an’ square; I didn’ hol’ no tights, an’ it wasn’t a fluke. But, if you want anot’er match wit’ me, I got no problem wit dat at all… Jus’ name de designated place, and de designated time… An’ I’ll be glad t’ designate your punk ass for de Wild Ride!”

 

“How about in two weeks, then?” snaps Jakey.

 

“Suits me fine,” replies WC. “I’ll be dere in my Sunday best!”

 

With that, Wildchild walks off towards his locker room, where he plans to celebrate with his girl. “Just make sure you’re wearing my belt!” Jakey shouts after him…

 

 

As we:

FADE OUT

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We return to the Cocha, the Cochabamba, the hottest point north of Havana, in Bolivia. And if you didn't get that reference... good for you! For those that did, now that you've stopped humming un-said tune, turn your attentions to the thousands of Bolivian fans milking their camera time for all it's worth behind The Suicide King and Mak Francis at the commentary position.

 

"This crowd are rabid, King!"

 

"That's a little uncaled for, don't you think? I mean sure, it's not the most civilised race, but there's no need to imply it's a third world country or something."

 

"*groans* Nevermind, let's just go to the ring."

 

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, your following non title contest is scheduled for one fall, to be contested under Pure Wrestling Rules... and it is your Main Event of the evening!" Funyon booms, saving us from more filler talk. "Now, here are the rules..."

 

"Oh, God!" groans one fan in the audience, who despite us being in Bolivia can apparantly speak English anyway.

 

"Each competitor starts the match with three rope breaks to break up and submission or pinfall attempt. Once a competitor uses all three rope breaks, he cannot use them to escape a fall or a hold and the ropes will be in play for his opponent to use. A strict twenty count will be observed on the floor. There are to be no closed-fist strikes to the face. If a closed fist is used, a rope break will be taken away. If the wrestler has no rope breaks left, then he will be disqualified."

 

 

With the rules out of the way, "Learning To Fly" by Pink Floyd hits. Unlike last week, with the novelty factor having worn off, there's no positive reaction to Jay Hawke. Just familiar boos as the longest reigning International Champion in history walks out into the spotlight shining over him.

 

"Introducing first. He hails from the Hall Of Fame City, Cleveland, Ohio... weighing in at two hundred and fifteen pounds... "THE DEAN OF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING"... JJJJJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY... HHHHAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWKKEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

 

Hawke strolls down the aisle, removing his regal purple and black robe as he reaches the ring apron. Hawke then dips into the ring and climbs onto the middle turnbuckle, to earn himself some more boos. Maybe not intentionally, but that's what happens.

 

"To get on topic here, Jay Hawke looked pretty impressive last week, albeit against..." Mak strains a little for a sympathetic description. And fails. "...well, against a complete putz. Let's be honest. But, he looked impressive nonetheless and now, finds himself in touching distance of a shot at the World Heavyweight Championship, a title which has eluded him so far in his SWF career."

 

"And in his kind of match." adds King. "Against an opponent completely out of his depth."

 

"I wouldn't go that far. Landon Maddix is no OJ Hart, he's the World Heavyweight Champion, Pure Rules or not. We'll see tonight what, if any, ring rust The Dean is carrying after his absence. A shot at the World Title awaits if Hawke is able to beat the Champ tonight remember."

 

"You know, actually you're right Mak, tonight won't be like last week. The odds of Landon making out with a female in a hot-tub before, during or after any event of any sort are remote at best."

 

 

"REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH!"

 

The industrial glam stylings of Marilyn Manson's "Personal Jesus" interrupt Hawke's pre-match warm-up routine, the lights fading out (as best possible in a soccer stadium) and spotlights on the stage alternating between blackout and really frikkin' bright. As the lyrics kick in, so does Landon, marching through the curtains to a roar of approval from the crowd! Megan Skye follows close behind Landon who through the dimmed lights still looks a little bleary-eyed from the two on one attack last week.

 

"And, his opponent! Accompanied to the ring by MEGAN SKYE! Hailing from Huron, South Dakota by way of Madrid, Spain... weighing in at two hundred and eight pounds... he is the reigning SWF World Heavyweight Champion... LLLAAAAAANNDDOOOOONN... "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMMMAAAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!"

 

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

The crowd erupt, perhaps mis-hearing 'Cucaracha' as 'Cochabamba' and seizing the opportunity for some cheap heat, perhaps because Landon is real neat n' stuff. Either way, The World Champion takes a moment to bow for the fans halfway up the ring steps, before entering the ring in an equally grandious manner.

 

"No shortage of history between these two," Mak points out over a shot of Jay Hawke glaring at La Cucaracha from his corner, "who were of course World Tag Team Champions together a year and a half ago."

 

"Back when Hawke was Maddix's follower. Oh Jay, what were you thinking?"

 

The two old acquaintances lock eyes as Maddix gets rid of his entrance gear and removes the title from around his waist. Not missing the opportunity to hold it at Jay's eyeline for a moment, he hands the belt over to referee Sexton Hardcastle. This not being a title match, Sexton looks a little confused but gets rid of the belt anyway, before returning to ask Landon if he understands the rules. His response of 'yeah, right, do you!?' pretty much says it all.

 

"Interesting point, at one point in time, Hawke was Landon's 'tutor' so to speak. He along with JJ Johnson was responsible for trying to turn Landon into a more-rounded technical wrestler. I wonder if we'll see any remnants of that here tonight."

 

"Don't bet on it." deadpans King.

 

With both men clean of foreign objects and aware of the rules, or aware as they're ever going to be, Hardcastle calls for the bell.

 

 

*DINGDINGDING!*

 

Both men shuffle out of their corners, Hawke almost taking the bait as Maddix offers his hands out for a lock-up. He thinks better of it and the two men circle, Maddix again offering out the hands. This time Hawke goes for it, only to be left red-faced as Maddix pulls them away at the last second to fluff his hair and STRUT~!

 

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

"Somehow, I don't think Maddix is taking this as seriously as he should be." critiques King. "Call it a hunch."

 

"Either that or he's playing mind-games..."

 

"Which would require a mind. So, no."

 

After that display of pure charisma in this pure wrestling match, Landon holds his hands up and apologises to the unimpressed Jay Hawke. Hawke doesn't want to hear it though. Finally, we get a lock-up out of it, Hawke pulling Landon out of a collar and elbow into a side headlock, spinning out the back with a hammerlock to the World Champion's apparant disdain. Rolling his eyes, Landon pops The Dean in the jaw with an elbow, which Hawke wastes no time in complaining to the referee about once he finishes staggering backwards. There's nothing in the rules about elbows though and Hardcastle just signals for them to 'lock it up' again.

 

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

 

"And they chant?" King groans. "For what, an elbow? In a Pure Rules Match."

 

"Just because it's 'Pure Wrestling Rules', doesn't mean you have to go to the ground or work holds. It simply favours people who wrestle that style a little more."

 

Eventually, with Jay having rubbed his jaw until most of the stinging is gone, we get another lock-up. This time Jay simply bulls forward, forcing Maddix back into a corner with the collar and elbow tight underneath the chin. Referee Hardcastle steps in, not as a call for a ropebreak as Hawke was the one instigating the Champion's route to the ropes, but simply for a break. Which Hawke slowly gives, Hardcastle ducking in between the two competitors and trying to force Jay out of the corner a little less hesitantly...

 

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

 

...and suddenly, clapping his hands over his head, down goes Landon!

 

"Huh?"

 

Hardcastle finally gets Hawke back and turns, to see Landon slumped in the corner clutching his jaw. And, with Hawke standing with his fist balled up, the referee makes the only 'logical' call and waves over Funyon.

 

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, for use of a closed fist, the referee has penalised Jay Hawke by deducting his first ropebreak!!"

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

The crowd love it as Hawke goes nuts, trying to explain to Hardcastle that he did nothing wrong but grabbing him by the collar as he does so. Hardcastle warns Hawke off and tells him to cut out the closed fists, Hawke beside himself at the injustice of it all.

 

As, meanwhile, on the outside Maddix points to his head, which means he has the brains of course.

 

"What a crock of..."

 

"Easy King."

 

"Don't easy me! How the hell do you cheat in a Pure Rules Match!? The whole POINT is that it's pure wrestling! This is... what the hell!?"

 

"Well, Jay Hawke is down a ropebreak, thanks to some... shall we say, innovative use of the Pure Rules." shrugs Mak.

 

Landon continues to ham it up on the outside, 'nursing his cheek' the moment he realises Hardcastle is watching and counting him from the ring. Still fuming but realising his protests are wasted, Hawke finally gets his head back in the game and rolls out of the ring after Landon, who quickly takes off around ringside. A chase ensues, until Maddix ducks into the ring and hits the ropes, with Hawke sliding into the ring just as in time to eat a Flying Forearm to the face! And a cover follows...

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

T...

 

 

Hawke quickly kicks out.

 

Hopping right back to his feet, Landon waits on The Dean to charge in again...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

...and connects with a knifedge chop, cutting Hawke off.

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

...and a second chop!

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOOOOOO!"

 

...make it a trio! Following that up with a quick kick to the hamstring, Maddix snatches on a front facelock, looking to set Hawke up for a simple vertical suplex. Simple enough, if not for a block by Hawke. Wrapping his foot around Landon's, Jay is able to block on a second attempt... and a third, before twisting out of the now loose facelock, taking Landon down by the arm right into a Fujiwara Armbar!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

"There we go, there's some wrasslin' for ya!" cheers King, as Landon instantly starts to scream out in pain...

 

 

 

 

...and without a second thought, places his foot on the nearby bottom rope.

 

Hawke breaks the hold almost instantly and feels a little vindicated now, but still finds time to insist that he didn't use a closed fist when Hardcastle turns to him and motions him back.

 

"That is ropebreak number one, used by Landon Maddix!"

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

"Wow, that quickly, Hawke able to take a ropebreak away from the World Champion." admires Mak.

 

"And he did it with wrestling, not some shady tactic like Maddix! That's where Hawke has this match sewn up. It's not so much Maddix's lack of wrestling ability on his feet, it's the lack of wrestling ability on the ground. As soon as he's in a hold, he's going to go for the ropes because it's the only escape he knows."

 

Happy to stand off as he's told, Hawke smirks a little as Landon pulls himself up on the ropes, trying to loosen up his right shoulder a little bit. Suddenly the World Champion seems a little more cautious, realising that he can only escape a hold like that two more times before he's going to have to do some real thinking under pressure. Realising that too, Megan scuttles over and imparts some words of advise before Landon and Hawke circle again. Whatever they were, they don't seem to work though, as Hawke gains the upperhand out of another tie-up with an arm wringer.

 

"Right back to the arm, Hawke picking off a bodypart here."

 

Looking for an escape via the hair, Landon doesn't find one and is forced to rethink. So, drawing on his most limited knowledge of wrestling, he uses the classic 'roll through tactic'...

 

 

 

 

...only for Hawke to just let go of the arm and catches him out of the roll with a STOMP TO THE FACE!!

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

Down goes Landon, clutching his nose which didn't look in perfect shape to begin with after last week's altercation with Blood and Thunder. Hawke again uses the flat of the boot with another kick, before placing the boot across the face and simply GRINDING down, raking the face which earns him a warning from Hardcastle.

 

"This Mak is what we call fighting fire with fire." smiles King.

 

"Who's 'we'? The International Union Of Heels?"

 

"Kayfabe Mak, kayfabe."

 

Accepting his warning, Hawke actually apologises to Hardcastle. Which seems a little unexpected. With the referee back onside, Jay then makes a friendly request, asking him how much time has passed in the match. Despite there being no aparrent time-limit, Hardcastle walks over and requests the time from ringside anyway...

 

 

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

 

...allowing Hawke to land a BIG right hand to the face of La Cucaracha while Hardcastle wasn't looking!

 

"Hey, whadda ya know, the timekeeper's table actually IS there to keep the time!" remarks King with clear enjoyment.

 

"What was that you were saying about no cheating in Pure Rules earlier?"

 

"Hey, I say a lot of things. I also said fighting fire with fire. If Maddix wants to act like he's been punched in the face, what better way than for him to be punched in the face?"

 

"...well, touché."

 

Thanking the referee for the information regarding the time, Hawke now makes a cover to disguise Megan's shouts from the outside...

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

No.

 

Sitting Maddix up, Hawke applies a keylock on the right arm, placing one hand on Landon's neck and cranking it to the side for some extra effect on the hold.

 

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

 

As Megan rallies the Bolivian crowd, English speakers and just those quick on the uptake, Landon starts to try and fight the hold. At which point Hawke releases the hold, saving everybody some time by pulling Landon up to his feet and kicking him hard in the ribs! Still holding Maddix by the wrist, Hawke fires another kick into the ribs. And a third, before using the head and arm to turn him back down to the canvas with something resembling a snapmare. Not satisfied with his ring positioning, Jay actually drags Landon closer to the ropes, before then applying a Short-arm Scissors.

 

"Back to the arm again, Hawke clearly trying to soften the Champion up for the Wing Span." calls Mak.

 

"And look at Jay, just daring Maddix to use up another ropebreak! Almost teasing him! I love it!"

 

Determined not to waste another ropebreak so quickly, Landon keeps his free appendages away from the ropes as he tries to find an alternative way out of the hold. Kicking up his legs, he tries to simply roll backwards. But Hawke twists on the arm just before he can do so, sending another jolt of pain through the arm and stopping him in his tracks. Cursing to himself, Landon tries again. Again though, no joy. And with the hold still taking it's toll all the while...

 

 

 

 

...Maddix decides to just grab the rope!

 

"That's two!" cheers King, as Hawke again more than happily releases the hold.

 

"That is ropebreak number two, used by Landon Maddix!"

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

Landon stays in the ropes trying to give himself a few seconds, but Hawke is right back on him, pulling him up and out. As Landon tries to stay close to the ropes though, Jay decides to let him have his way, although not as he'd have hoped, wrapping the right arm around the top rope and pulling with all his might!

 

"ONE!"

"TWO!"

"THREE!"

"FOUR!"

"FI..."

 

Breaking just in time, Hawke backs off again as Landon slumps through the ropes.

 

"That's not another ropebreak," Mak clarifies, "that was an illegal hold by Jay Hawke. Although, if Landon does use up his last ropebreak, then moves like that will be perfectly legal for The Dean Of Professional Wrestling."

 

"And just think of the fun we can have then! Jay's dangerous enough without the ropes for help, just think of the submissions he could come up with with the ropes in play!"

 

Hung half in, half out across the middle rope, the World Champion is more concerned with his arm than the opponent trying to destroy it at the moment. Which might be a mistake, as Hawke brushes off the referee, exiting to the apron and dropping to the floor with the point of the elbow down across the back of Landon's head! Landon ends up falling back into the ring, Hawke remaining on the floor with his arms extended to the side.

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

Having his fill of taunting the crowd for now, Jay slides back into the ring and covers Maddix...

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

No.

 

"Not often you see Jay Hawke make that mistake, too busy taunting to follow up on his opponent."

 

Helping Landon to his feet, Hawke forces him against the ropes and again starts to entangle the arm around the rope. This time Maddix is able to push The Dean away before any damage can be done, but takes a boot to the gut instead and gets sent for the ride with an irish whip. Back comes Landon at full speed, ducking underneath the elbow attempt from Hawke. But Hawke quickly re-adjusts and connects with a Leg Lariat on the second attempt, hooking the leg and covering...

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

No.

 

Hawke loads up now, trying to catch Landon with a clothesline on his way back to his feet. Landon is able to spot that coming though and ducks underneath. Which only saves him momentarily, as when he turns around a boot to the gut beats him to the punch. Wringing out the arm again, Hawke then takes the head for a Swinging Neckbreaker...

 

 

 

...but finds himself swung too far, Landon countering with a Backslide...

 

"YYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

But with one good arm, Landon is unable to keep Jay down. And as both men come back up, the World Champion's pre-occupaction with his aching arm distracts him from the BIG clothesline that cuts him right off his feet!

 

"High impact clothesline from Hawke! Again, not usually his fortay."

 

"Against Maddix, anything can be considered his fortay." counters King.

 

What definately is Jay Hawke's fortay is submission wrestling. Which he wisely decides to go back to, via a kneedrop across the outstretched right arm of La Cucaracha! Landon quickly rolls away and defensively coops himself underneath the bottom rope, able to get there before Jay can get to him, thus preventing any ropebreak arguements. He doesn't stay long however, Hawke dragging him right back out of the corner and dropping down, looking for some sort of hold on the arm! Maddix frantically tries to get away, kicking and squirming, trying to get away before any hold is applied. And he just about manages it, rolling out of Hawke's grip before he can properly get the arm. Hawke quickly scrambles to his feet as well and runs at Maddix, who has decided to rest up in a corner...

 

 

 

...not as much as Jay had hoped though, Landon with the presence of mind to raise a boot up!

 

"Now that's a ropebreak, surely?" protests King.

 

"How!?"

 

Shaking out the cobwebs, Hawke comes charging in for a second bite of the pie... and tastes a second bite of Landon Maddix's red and yellow kickpad! This time Hawke seems stunned and Landon sees an opportunity, pushing himself up onto the middle rope.

 

"Could it be Crash Landon time?"

 

Apparantly not. Realising he's so close to the ropes and not trusting his right arm to take him and Hawke very far, Landon doesn't wait around for Hawke to get any closer. Instead, he leaps from the middle rope, catching Hawke's head on the way down and PLANTING him into the mat with a Flying DDT!!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

"WOW!" gasps Mak. "Hawke got spiked, right on the top of his head! What a momentum changer that could be!"

 

Hawke remains spiked for a few seconds, before finally he slumps facedown and seemingly out. However, Landon isn't able to capitalise, having used his right arm to deliver the DDT and apparantly jarred his elbow into the canvas on the way down. Megan cares not for injuries right now, slamming her fists into the apron and encouraging Landon to hurry up and make the cover. Referee Hardcastle has started a standing ten with both men down. But finally Landon does surface, cradling his arm as he logrolls Hawke onto his back and drops on top...

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!!

 

"OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

"No, too much time taken to make the cover there." Mak shakes his head. "Otherwise, that may have been it."

 

"I doubt it. One move out of nowhere isn't going to be enough to put Jay Hawke down, no matter how flashy or head-spikey it may be!"

 

With a bad arm and swimming head respectively, both Landon and Jay take their time in getting back up to their feet. When they do, they meet in the centre of the ring. And it's Landon first to strike, connecting with a forearm...

 

 

...and regretting it instantly, as his arm doesn't seem able to stand up to that either. Shaking it off, Hawke responds with a forearm of his own, this one with no weakness behind it. Not risking the arm again, Landon goes with his feet this time, landing a straight kick to the gut that seems to wind The Dean a little. Enough that he doesn't have time to strike again, before Landon kicks out a second time, this time landing a little higher to the chest. And a third kick connects to the chest, enough to drop Hawke momentarily!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

 

"Landon finding some success with his feet here! The World Champion building momentum!"

 

As Hawke climbs back up, Landon rushes into the ropes. Leaping at Hawke proves to be naive though, as he recovers enough to catch The Next Generation, leaning all the way back until Landon gets hung up across the top rope violently!

 

"OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

"Bye-bye momentum!" chirps King.

 

"Hotshot by Hawke! And the energy just drained out of this stadium on that one!"

 

As the ropes release Landon back, seeing his opponent lying limp beside him, Hawke drops an arm over top for the quick cover...

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FOOT ON THE ROPES!!

 

 

"That is the third and FINAL ropebreak used by Landon Maddix!"

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

"And now the ropes are in play for Hawke!" Mak reminds us all, as Hawke is required to break the pinfall. Which he does, only to go straight back to it, the foot hanging over the rope now not an issue...

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO, SHOULDER UP!!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

After a moment of despairing, it finally seems to dawn on Hawke what situation he's in now. And he quickly stops mourning over the kickout, able to smirk a little bit as Hardcastle confirms to him that Landon has no more ropebreaks left.

 

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

 

"Well, all these Maddix fans oughta be happy." shrugs King. "They'll be getting to see their hero in a big title defence next week, assuming these people own TVs, I don't know what the financial climate is in Bolivia."

 

"The match isn't over yet King."

 

"It's as good as over in my book. I count no ropebreaks for Maddix and two for Jay Hawke."

 

"But Hawke can still be beaten with two ropebreaks."

 

"Not as easily as Maddix can with none."

 

Dragging Landon into the centre of the ring, off the ropes comes Hawke, measuring the World Champion with a Legdrop, right down across the throat. Hawke leaves the leg placed right there and points the ref into the cover...

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

No!

 

Not looking concerned, Hawke swaggers back to his feet. Still taking his time, as much down to his confidence as his dizziness right now, Hawke measures Landon and kicks him hard in the shoulder! Landon shouts out in pain, prompting Hawke to kick him again! And a third time, all pinpointed on the right arm, which Jay then drags Landon off the mat by. He continues dragging him right over to the ropes, clearly looking to bring them into play which doesn't go down well with the fans.

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

What does, is a sudden kick from Landon!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

 

*SMACK!*

 

And a second, doubling Hawke over...

 

 

*SMACK!*

*SMACK!*

*SMACK!*

 

 

...and leaving him in position for a trio of quick Kawada kicks to the forehead! The strikes are enough to give Landon his arm back and free him from Hawke, plus enough to leave his opponent dazed. With Hawke's head still down, over the top floats Landon, with a Sunset Flip...

 

 

 

...but Hawke fights it...

 

 

 

...cradles the legs...

 

 

 

 

 

...and drops forward, clinging onto the ropes for leverage!!

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

"PERFECTLY LEGAL!" cheers King...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TH-

 

NO!! LANDON SQUIRMS OUT!!

 

"YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

"NOT ENOUGH!" Mak cheers right back. "Even with the ropes for leverage, Hawke unable to keep the World Heavyweight Champion down!"

 

Slumping across the middle rope, Hawke holds his head. Both in disappointment and from the kicks he just took it would seem, as he has to use the top rope to help himself onto his feet. Once there though, Hawke is stable enough to give the signal for the end!

 

"Wing Span! Trust me, without the ropes, there is absolutely no way out of this!"

 

"You might be right King. If Hawke locks in the Wing Span, he might be the number one contender!"

 

Having gotten to his feet, Landon is pointed towards his opponent by Megan who warns him to turn around. Which he does, forcing Hawke to re-adjust as he goes for a chickenwing on the right arm. Maddix is able to squirm out behind though, with a rollup...

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!

 

Both men come back up and again Hawke looks for the arm. Maddix goes low to escape, low enough to crawl through Hawke's legs, causing The Dean to go sprawling forwards. That buys Landon enough time to run the ropes, Hawke turning around with the World Champion steaming towards him. In dives Maddix and for a moment it looks like Hawke has caught him again...

 

 

 

...until Landon pushes his knees off of Jay's thighs, bringing him down with a faceplant!

 

"YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

"The Thesz Plant!"

 

"The what now!?"

 

Bouncing off the mat, Hawke is stunned. And wide open for Landon, who catches him under the jaw and runs to the corner, scaling the turnbuckles for the Seated Shiranui...

 

 

 

 

...but gets pulled off the ropes, onto Hawke's shoulder! And with a quick drop to a knee, Hawke executes a seamless Shoulderbreaker on the right side!

 

"That's the move he needs!" predicts King.

 

 

Correctly, as it turns out, as Hawke lifts Maddix back off the canvas by the waist... AND SNATCHES ON THE CROSSFACE CHICKENWING!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

Landon doesn't stand a chance of countering as Hawke takes him down with the bodyscissors in one swift motion, having applied the move hundreds of times before and probably tens of times on Landon alone back in their sparring days. This is no sparring session though and there'll be no quick submissions or no mercy shown. Hawke wraps up the free arm and although his ring positioning wouldn't be the best in a regular match, with no ropebreaks for his opponent, it doesn't matter a bit.

 

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

 

"He's done!" King predicts again, hoping to be as correct as before. "There's no escape, I don't care if you're Landon Maddix or Tom Flesher, the only way out of this hold is the ropes!"

 

The crowd continue to try and will Landon on regardless. As does Megan, encouraging Landon to fight the hold. Which is all Maddix can really do right now, prolong the inevitable by clinging on in there. Hawke continues to wrench away on the arm and the neck though, making sure to keep the bodyscissors on to block off the only escape route...

 

 

 

...apart from the ropes...

 

 

 

 

...which Landon drapes his leg over...

 

 

 

 

 

...but it doesn't matter and LANDON IS FORCED TO GIVE IT UP!!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

 

*DINGDINGDING!*

 

 

"Learning To Fly" cues up in an instant as Hawke releases the hold and slumps backwards, fists pumped over his head in some celebration. Hardcastle grabs one of the arms and raises it for posterity, as Megan hangs her head sadly on the outside.

 

"Your winner of the contest... and now, recieving an SWF World Heavyweight Title shot next week... "THE DEAN OF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING"... JJJAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY HHHAAAAAAAWWWWKKEEEEEE!!!"

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

Hawke climbs to his feet and looks down at Landon, with Megan now in the ring tending to him. Landon's foot still hangs limply over the bottom rope, the rest of his body hanging limp with it (p3nisjokelolz!), no doubt relieved that the match is finally over in spite of the result. And with a smile on his face, Hawke makes sure Megan makes eye contact with him, before repeating the same "belt motion" around his waist as he did last week.

 

"And in seven days, that might not be mere pantomime." King proclaims. "That might be the real World Heavyweight Title around Jay Hawke's waist! Finally!"

 

"It may indeed. Although next week, it might be a different story. If this match hadn't been Pure Rules or if Landon had a ropebreak left, then Jay Hawke might not be celebrating right now, because Maddix did find the ropes in the Wing Span..."

 

"But it was and he didn't."

 

"Which, inevitably, is the bottom line tonight. Jay Hawke has earned the right to challenge for the World Title next week. And he goes in riding on a wave of momentum. Where-as, things seem to just go from bad to worse for the World Heavyweight Champion."

 

"Which just goes to show you... don't cross the boss. Especially if it's Tom Flesher!"

 

As Hawke leaves the ring, he makes the "belt motion" one more time on his way to the back. Leaving Megan to check on Landon, the World Champion moving now but grimacing as he nurses his arm. Sitting up, Landon watches Hawke on his way, re-inforcing the point to Megan that he "had the ropes" as he dejectedly takes the World Title from Hardcastle.

 

"Next week, Jay Hawke and Landon Maddix, but this time it'll be for the title! You won't want to miss it, so join us next week, right here on STORM!"

 

 

 

 

 

FADE OUT

 

©2007 Smartmarks Wrestling Federation

'Raising Workrate By Restricting Ropebreaks'

Edited by Ace309

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“Ladies and Gentlemen,” Funyon says, as he prepares to close out the show, “on behalf of everyone here at the Smartmarks Wrestling Federation, I would like to thank you all for coming out tonight. I hope you had a good tim-“

 

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

 

“…there was a person there who put forth the proposition

That you can petition the Lord with prayer.”

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

As Led Zeppelin’s “Kashmir” heralds the arrival of the SWF’s commissioner, we catch a glimpse of the Suicide King, halfway up the ramp, making a mad dash back to the commentary table, narrowly avoiding a head-on collision with Mak “Wheels” Francis on the way. At the top of the stage, Tom Flesher swishes the curtain aside and strides down to the ring, grinning ever so slightly.

 

“-iewers at home, I hope you’re still watching,” the Suicide King says, fumbling to get his headset back on, “and I hope RTN hasn’t gone to their nightly Golden Girls reruns – Tom Flesher’s coming down, and it looks like we’re running into overtime, baby!”

 

Funyon surrenders his microphone to the commish and climbs out of the ring, to give the grumbling Mak Francis a hand back to his post.

 

“How’s everybody doing tonight?”

 

An unusually tepid crowd reaction follows – clearly they’ve learned that when Tom Flesher sucks up to the crowd, it usually precedes something bad.

 

“Hey, how about that main event, huh? Let’s hear it for Landon Maddix and Jay Hawke, huh? That was a hell of a match!”

 

Yeaaaaaah!

 

Tom applauds along with the crowd, as they seem to be warming up to him. Meanwhile, Mak finally makes it back to the commentary table, and slips his headset back on.

 

“Thanks for the help, jackass.”

 

“Hey, I saw there was a job to be done, so I came back to do it. At least one of us has to remain professional. Now be quiet – in case you hadn’t noticed, Flesher is preparing the old bait and switch.”

 

“How do you know th-“

 

“Just watch.”

 

Back in the ring, Tom’s applause begins to wind down, and he continues…

 

“Yes, very impressive, very impressive performance by La Cucaracha tonight… are you guys looking forward to seeing him again?”

 

Yeaaaah!

 

“Defending his World Heavyweight Championship against Jay Hawke?”

 

Yeaaaaaah!

 

“And then against Zyon?”

 

”Yeaaaaaaaaaaaah!”

 

“At THIRTEENTH HOUR?”

 

YEAAAAAAAAAA-

 

 

 

 

“Yeah, well, too bad.”

 

A clearly audible hoot comes from King’s side of the commentary table – the rest of those in attendance make whatever sort of sound is associated with a confused mob. Let’s go with “Mrrrrrp!”

 

“You see,” Flesher continues, “based on the crowd reaction that the Landon vs. Zyon announcement got, the Board decided to ahead with it… but like I said, a lot can happen in six weeks… including, but not limited to, our number one contender losing… losing again… and then willfully and purposefully endangering an SWF official to pick up a clearly undeserved win.”

 

“Oh come on,” grumbles Mak, “sure it was cheap, but it was Ced Ordonez. Even I can’t think of anything nice to say about that guy.”

 

“Soon after,” Flesher goes on, “I went back to the Board, and managed to make them see things my way. I don’t think Zyon is ready for the big time - his behavior these past few weeks is proof enough. So we have some… alternative plans… in the works. There will be a World Title match at 13th Hour, and it will be worth every penny we hope to squeeze out of our worldwide audience…

 

… but it won’t include Zyon.”

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

“WOW!” shouts Mak, whose incredulous expression is overshadowed by both the crowd’s reaction and by the Suicide King’s gleeful smirk. “Just a few short weeks before the Pay Per View, and Tom Flesher has ousted the number one contender! But if it won’t be Zyon, then who will it be?”

 

The crowd continues to cry foul, but Flesher raises a hand, having more to say.

 

“At least… I hope not… despite my best efforts, I couldn’t convince them to strip Zyon of his status completely… for some reason they still think he has potential… so we came to an agreement…”

 

“After how many drinks?” Mak quips.

 

“Zip it, Dr. Ashford!”

 

“… Wow, that was obscure, even for you.”

 

“You will be seeing Zyon square off against Landon Maddix… two weeks from tonight! And should Zyon be successful, he will earn back his spot in the 13th Hour Main Event! And if he doesn’t… well… I’m sure we’ll find a way to manage without him.”

 

With that, Flesher suavely chucks the microphone back to Funyon, and takes his leave.

 

“Well that’s a hell of a way to end the show,” says Mak, doing his damnedest to ignore the King’s giddiness. “Zyon’s status as the official number one contender has officially been revoked, and if he can’t beat Landon Maddix two weeks from now, 13th Hour’s Main Event will go on without him! But if it won’t be Landon vs. Zyon, then what will it be?”

 

“Does it matter?” King replies. “Seriously, the choices only get better after Zyon.”

 

“I could go on at length about how wrong you are, King, but unfortunately we’ve already run past our scheduled time! Hopefully we’ll find out more about this next week on Storm – good night, everyone!”

Edited by chirs3

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