SO: PRL Segment/Video Package/Promo

[Ed Wood Caulfield 0]

This is all in one post. So place it right before the Hell In A Cell Match, which btw will most likely need two posts. Yeah, it's a long one.

 

The camera cuts back to The Lightning Crew dressing room. The crowd boos. The LC and Stephen Joseph Popick are standing up, anxious. "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican is in his ring gear and carrying his black spray-painted briefcase which contains his Golden Contract inside. PR paces back and forth. He is already sweating. 

"THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN
So...you ready? 

STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK
I'm ready. The question is, PRL, are YOU ready? 

THA PUERTO RICAN
Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I...I'm...I'm ready. I'm ready. Yeah. I am! I just--uh--I just hope things go smoothly out there! 

MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ
They will, baby. They will. 

CUBAN WALL
Boss, you got this one in the bag! 

THOMAS RODRIGUEZ
Wall is right. You're gonna win this match. I believe in you! 

MR. BORICUA
GRRRRRRRRR. 

THA PUERTO RICAN
Thanks guys. I really appreciate it. 

POPICK
You'll be fine, Puerto. You're going to go out there and DESTORY Bohemoth! You're going to aniliahate him. Bohemoth's not going to know what hit him! 

PRL
Okay. Okay. I'm ready. 

POPICK
All right! Let's do it! 

THA PUERTO RICAN
Let's get together one last time, shall we? 

POPICK
Of course! 

Tha Puerto Rican, Cuban Wall, Mr. Boricua, Thomas Rodriguez, The Bone Thug, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, and Stephen Joseph Popick huddle around each other. They all put their hands out. They all look at each other. 

POPICK
LC on 3. Ready? 1. 2. 3. 

THE LIGHTNING CREW AND STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK
LC! 
LC! 

THA PUERTO RICAN
HELP ME GOD!

The camera cuts to the party backstage as everyone has gathered around the television set. 

COLE
Well, it's time. It's one of the matches we've been very much anticipating tonight at School's Out! 

COACH
Oh God. Oh God. Oh God in Heaven! This match is actually going to happen! 

Ominous music plays as the Cell begins lowering from the top of the Toyota Center. The crowd cheers! The lights go down in the arena, with spotlights circling the Hell In A Cell. 

COLE
It is called 'The Devil's Playground', 'Satan's Pool', and 'Beelzebub's Sanctuary'. The Hell In A Cell Match has caused numerous injuries, emotional scars, and careers to end. And now, in only a heartbeat away, Tha Puerto Rican and Bohemoth will step inside this demonic structure for the first time, and quite possibly the LAST time! 

COACH
This is crazy! He doesn't deserve this! The One And Only AngleSault Thread is forcing him to risk life and limb for one match! How dare they? 

COLE
Well, in a way, you could say he brought this onto himself. He has acted obnoxiously to Bohemoth for the past two months, not to mention to pretty much the entire OAOAST roster over the past four years! This is a match that EVERYONE has been dying to see! 

COACH
Don't use 'dying' in a sentence. I'm tensed enough as it is!

COLE
This match came about because of a tag team match that took place between Tha Puerto Rican, Cuban Wall, Dance Dance Dragon and Bohemoth on the April 12th HeldDOWN~!. But since then, the feud has become personal between P.R. and Bohemoth, and tonight, they look to settle it once and for all! 

COACH
The marketing wizards in the OAOAST are calling this 'P.R.'s Last Stand'! Oh come on now. That's just biasness! 

COLE
It's quite possible this could be the last time we will ever see him, Coach. I know there are about 11 people backstage hoping that is the case. Not to mention the thousands in attendance here in the Toyota Center! The Hell In A Cell could spell the demise of Tha Puerto Rican! 

The ominous music continues playing as the Cell lowers to the ground. 

COACH
16-feet high, 20-feet wide. 1 TON in total weight. Two men will be locked inside. No interference. No countouts. No disqualifications. No rules! Bohemoth and PRL can do whatever they want. This isn't going to be pretty! 

COLE
Bohemoth and Tha Puerto Rican have been unable to physically touch each other over the past four weeks, but it ends tonight, and I'm sure Bohemoth is really looking to get his hands on Tha Puerto Rican again! 

COACH
PRL is being FORCED into this! He does not deserve this! AT ALL! You heard me? AT ALL! 

COLE
Well, look what PRL has done--

COACH
Oh come on! He doesn't deserve any of this! 

COLE
That's something we could debate for a long time. But right now, let's take a look at the history between PRL and Bohemoth and what led us to this upcoming match-up. 

A collage of Tha Puerto Rican coming to the ring over the past four years in the OAOAST is shown. 

COLE (V.O.)
Over the past four years, there has been one man who has arguably been more hated, more despised than any other OAOAST superstar ever.  

BUFFER
"The Corporate Champion" THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! 

Cut to a highlight reel of Tha Puerto Rican's numerous actions in the OAOAST. PRL hitting someone with the Corporate Elbow Drop. PRL giving someone a Sweet Chin Music. PRL hitting someone with the Corporate Nightmare. Numerous Corporate Nightmares are played. Cut to shots of PRL posing for the camera and taunting the fans. 

COLE
This gifted superstar has been loved by some and HATED by many, but has still continued to shine as one of the OAOAST's brightest.

Cut to PRL doing the HBK muscle pose while pyro explodes behind him. 

THA PUERTO RICAN 
I am the most electrifying man in professional wrestling! I am the Corporate Champ! And I am the greatest Puerto Rican athlete of all-time! 

Cut to Tha Puerto Rican hitting Bohemoth with the steel chair on the April 12, 2007 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!. The chairshot is shown in slow motion. Eerie music begins to play. 

COLE 
But despite his natural athletic ability, Tha Puerto Rican has for many times in his career in the OAOAST resorted to cheap tactics, backstabbing, and numerous lies. 

Cut to the May 27, 2003 edition of IntenseZone:

[QUOTE]Puerto Rican Lightning poses as the fans are now near a riot. He jumps off the top turnbuckle....and smashes the ringbell onto The Mad Cappa's throat. His throat also hits the barricade and he is now gagging for air.

JR: OH MY! WHAT A HORRIBLE HORRIBLE MOVE! PRL SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF HIMSELF!!! DAMN HIM!!! BAW GAWD~! DAMN HIM!!![/QUOTE]

Cut to November Reign 2006 on November 27, 2006. 

[QUOTE]D*LUX don’t seem to mind that Thomas is the ref, because Shayne Brave still has PRL’s right leg hook when Thomas Rodriguez makes the count. 

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Thomas Rodriguez has yet to make the three count.

COLE
3! 3! 3! What the hell? Why did he stop counting!? 

Shayne is wondering the same exact thing. Thomas Rodriguez gets on his knees and looks directly into the eyes of "Showtime" Shayne Brave.


And flips him two middle fingers! 

COACH
WHAT!? 

COLE
WHAT!? 

CROWD
WHAT!? 

Thomas Rodriguez laughs in the face of Shayne Brave. Tyler Bryant wants some answers, but before he can do anything, Cuban Wall grabs Tyler by his feet and drags him out of the ring! Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall beat on Tyler Bryant! Thomas continues with his double bird salute, but his smile fades when Shayne gets up. 

COLE
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!? 

Shayne stalks Thomas towards a neutral corner. Rodriguez begs for his life, sweating bullets and about to pee in his pants. Brave gets in Thomas’ face, wanting to know what made him think he could do what he just did and get away with it. Just then...


*BAM!*

PRL uses his left arm to give Shayne Brave a low-blow! 

COLE
Low-blow from Tha Puerto Rican!? But...but...he’s using his cast as a weapon! 

COACH
Hey. This is getting good!

Popick nods approvingly as Shayne Brave stumbles around the ring holding his nutsack. PRL has a cocky smirk on his face. And those cheers that PRL used to hear are quickly becoming boos. 

COLE
PRL and Thomas Rodriguez? Are they working together? Is this what I think this is? 

Tha Puerto Rican kicks Shayne Brave in the stomach. 

CORPORATE NIGHTMARE!?!?!?!?

COLE
Corporate Nightmare! But isn’t his arm broken!? 

COACH
I think he lied about that part Michael. 

COLE
I think he may have lied about everything! 

Shayne Brave is knocked out. Stephen Joseph Popick applauds Tha Puerto Rican. PRL laughs manically as Thomas Rodriguez watches all of this with an evil grin on his face.

COLE
Thomas Rodriguez didn’t count the pin! But last Thursday night, he did a fast count and made Tha Puerto Rican lose to Cuban Wall! 

COACH
Michael, do you realize what this means? 

COLE
No! Damn it! No! 

COACH
Yes, Michael. This was all a set up! And I like it! 

COLE
I thought he had a change of heart! I thought he was a different man! 

COACH
I can’t belive it! What are we seeing? 

Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua have done a good job beating up "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant. Vitamin X is up and watching all of this from ringside, absolutely giddy watching all of this. Jade Rodez is also watching this at ringside, although she isn’t exactly happy with what she’s seeing. Stephen Joseph Popick laughs manically as "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican covers "Showtime" Shayne Brave. Thomas Rodriguez gets on his knees, looks at his boss, and makes the count. The crowd starts booing. 

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3!

*DING DING DING* (24:10)

COACH
NEW CHAMPIONS!

CROWD
...........[/QUOTE]

Cut to The Lightning Crew beating up several wrestlers including Leon Rodez, Spanish Fly, Colombian Heat, and both members of D*LUX. 

COLE 
The cocky arrogant multi-time Champion has showed no mercy to anyone he deems a threat. The charismatic high-flying superstar has laid roughshod over the OAOAST since his arrival, and so far, no one has yet to put a stop to it. 

[i]PRL 
Do you hate me? 

CROWD
YEAH! 

PRL
Do you despise me? 

CROWD
YEAH! 

PRL
Do you wish I would just go away? 

CROWD
YEAH! 

PRL
Do you wish I would just die? 

CROWD
YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! 

PRL
Well good, because that's EXACTLY the way I feel about all of you![/i] 

COLE
But until recently, someone has stepped up to the plate. His name is Bohemoth. 

Cut to PRL hitting Bohemoth with a steel chair on the April 19, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!.

Cut to PRL hitting Bohemoth with a steel chair several times on the April 26, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. 

Cut to Bohemoth being busted open after the chairshots. The eerie music continues playing. 

COLE
Bohemoth is the biggest challenge Tha Puerto Rican has ever faced. At 6'7" 284 pounds, he is looked to by many as the man who can put an end to the P.R. Menace.

Cut to Bohemoth punching his way out of the body bag on the May 24, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Cut to PRL screaming like a girl when he sees this. 

A lightning bolt strikes! 

CUE OPERA MUSIC~!

Cut to a montage of PRL laughing manically, interspersed with clips of a graveyard. Cut to a montage of PRL posing, interspersed with clips of a tombstone. As we see this, we hear Bohemoth speak from the May 10, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!.

[i]BOHEMOTH
Hell In A Cell is gonna be just that. Hell. Hell for Tha Puerto Rican. You see, I'm sick and tired of PRL. I'm sick and tired of hearing his whiney voice. I'm sick and tired of his catchphrases. I'm sick and tired of him running rule over the OAOAST the past four years. And I'm especially sick and tired of all the times he's hit me over the head with a steel chair in the past few weeks! Ya see, it started out with me trying to get my 24/7 Title back. Then, it became about payback. Now...

Bo lifts up his shades so his eyes pierce through the camera.

BOHEMOTH
Now, it's all about HURTING Tha Puerto Rican!

"YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"[/i]

Cut to PRL speaking on the April 26, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. While he speaks, we see the shot of Bohemoth bleeding from the same show. 

[i]PRL
I took him down. I. Took. Bohemoth. Out! I busted him open! I made him BLEED! I DID IT! ME! THA PUERTO RICAN! And then, suddenly, the hype was gone. The myth had disappeared. And I finally realized something. Bohemoth isn't a god! He isn't a monster! No! Bohemoth is human! And humans can be hurt. Humans can be feel pain. Humans...can bleed. And I did all those things to Bohemoth. IF BOHEMOTH CAN BLEED, BOHEMOTH CAN DIE![/i]

Cut to Tha Puerto Rican seeing his tombstone from the May 10, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Cut to Tha Puerto Rican seeing a bloodied PRL T-shirt from the May 17, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Cut to Tha Puerto Rican opening up the casket to find a wax sculpture of him dead from the May 24, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. All of this is seen while Bohemoth speaks from the May 17, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. The overdramatic operatic music continues playing. 

[i]BOHEMOTH
I am going to make sure you never wrestle again! At School's Out, in the Hell In A Cell Match, I am going to make sure that you don't walk out of that match ALIVE. On May 27th, they will all be watching as I take all that pain you've done to people...and throw it back at you. May 27th will be your JUDGMENT DAY.[/i] 

Cut to shots of PRL hitting Bohemoth with steel chairs over the past two months. Intersperse with this is more clips of a graveyard, and someone digging a burial plot. Cut to PRL speaking from the April 26, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!.

[i]PRL
The first time it was one chairshot! The second time was two chairshots! The third time, Bohemoth, I don't care what it takes! It could be a damn mack truck! One things for sure, Bohemoth, “The Corporate Champion” will be standing tall! Bohemoth will be flat on his back! And Tha Puerto Rican, The P.R. Menace, will dance all over his corpse and spit on his grave![/i]

Cut to PRL warning Bohemoth to stay away from him from the May 10, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Cut to PRL throwing coffee into Bohemoth's face from that same show. Cut to PRL telling Bohemoth to hit him from the May 24, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Cut to PRL and Bohemoth staring at each other. Interspersed with this is clips of a funeral taking place and a funeral procession. We hear Bohemoth speak from the May 17, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. 

[i]BOHEMOTH
School's Out. May 27th. You. Me. Hell In A Cell. And PRL, this won't be a match you'll win. I'm being perfectly honest here. PR, you're going to indeed know what hell is like when I meet you in the squared circle on May 27th. You're going to get hurt. And I'm pretty sure it'll be the worst pain you've ever felt in your life.[/i] 

Cut to shots of the Hell In A Cell. We hear PRL speak from the May 24, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. 

[i]THA PUERTO RICAN
I'm going to come out of this strong Bohemoth! What doesn't kill me makes me stronger! Think about that, Bo! On May 27th, the only person who will get destroyed is YOU! AND ONLY YOU! AND THAT'S THE TRUTH, RUTH![/i] 

Cut to PRL crushing The Mad Cappa's larynx from the May 27, 2003 edition of IntenseZone. Cut to PRL holding Lauren Gellar hostage from the July 14, 2003 edition of IntenseZone. Cut to PRL slamming the top of the ladder on top of Leon Rodez's surgically repaired right knee from the March 29, 2006 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Cut to The Lightning Crew beating up Ayane Mitsui from the July 14, 2005 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Cut to The Lightning Crew beating up Colombian Heat from the April 29, 2004 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Cut to The Lightning Crew beating down D*LUX from the December 21, 2006 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Cut to PRL laughing manically in an up-close shot. We hear more of Bohemoth speaking from the May 17, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!.

[i]BOHEMOTH
Every punch will be for everyone single fan, wrestler, and OAOAST personnel who is sick to death of you. Every punch will be painful, but even then, it STILL won't match up to the pain you've caused OVER THE PAST FOUR YEARS! No, P.R., despite all the pain you will endure in the Hell In A Cell, it still won't be enough to make up for what you've done. There's a special place in Hell for you, PRL. And on Sunday, May 27th at School's Out, you will get a special sneak preview of it.[/i]

Cut to more shots of the Hell In A Cell. Intersperse with this is clips of dirt being shoveled into a grave. 

[i]PRL
OH I'M SORRY! YOU WANT TO HEAR THAT!? I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY FOR CRUSHING THE MAD CAPPA'S LARYNX! I'M SORRY FOR KIDNAPPING AND HURTING LAUREN GELLAR! I'M SORRY FOR SCREWING D*LUX! I'M SORRY FOR TURNING MY BACK ON COLOMBIAN HEAT! I'M SORRY FOR EVERY CHEATING VICTORY I'VE EVER HAD! I'M SORRY FOR EVERY LIE, EVERY CHEAP SHOT, EVERY BEATDOWN I'VE EVER DONE! AND I'M SORRY--OH LET'S JUST SAY I'M SORRY FOR EVER BEING BORN![/i]

Cut to numerous shots of Tha Puerto Rican bleeding throughout his OAOAST career. Interspersed with this is more clips of the Hell In A Cell. 

[i]BOHEMOTH
Unfortunately for you...it's too late to be saved. No. The Hell In A Cell Match will still take place as planned. And it will still be the final match of your career. On May 27th at School's Out, the world will witness PR's Last Stand. For every fan who's had to put up with your CRAP for four years, this match is for them. I'm going to enjoy this match, but not in the way you would enjoy it. No, I'm going to enjoy it because I am going to be the man who stops this terror in the OAOAST. On May 27th, I will be the man who kills the P.R. Menace. On May 27th, I will be the man who puts you on the injured list PERMANTELY. Karma has brought you to Houston, Texas and School's Out. Every bad thing you have ever done has come back to bite you in the ass.[/i]

Cut to alternating shots of Tha Puerto Rican celebrating and being in pain. We hear Tha Puerto Rican speak from the May 24, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. 

[i]THA PUERTO RICAN
I FEAR NO MAN! I will step into the Hell In A Cell and I WILL WIN! And there's not a damn thing that ANY OF YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT![/i] 

Cut to Tha Puerto Rican lying on the mat, bloodied, from AngleMania VI back on April 2, 2006. We see PRL's tombstone, the bloodied shirt, and the casket one more time. We hear Bohemoth speak one more time from the May 17, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!.

[i]BOHEMOTH
P.R., get ready, say your prayers, because, BO'S...GONNA...KILL...YOU![/i]

Cut to PRL screaming from the May 24, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. 

Cut to dirt being shoveled into a grave, from the point of view of the person supposedly inside the grave. Dirt covers the camera. The overdramatic operatic music ends. The video package ends. 

Cut to a close-up of the black spray-painted briefcase. The camera pulls back to reveal "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican holding the briefcase, standing by at the OAOAST School's Out 2007 interview set. The crowd boos. PRL is jumping in place with a serious look on his face. 

JOSH MATTHEWS
P.R., it is time. The much anticipated Hell In A Cell Match is only a heartbeat away. And PR, your Golden Contract is on the line here. How do you feel stepping into the Hell In A Cell for the first time ever in your career, against a man who people say you have No Chance In Hell of beating? Do you feel that your illustrious career is on the line too? 

"THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN
Josh, this is just another example of people putting Tha Puerto Rican in a corner. And NOBODY puts Tha Puerto Rican into a corner! If life has taught me anything, it's that if you really REALLY REALLY want something to happen...chances are that the exact opposite of what you want will happen! So, I know that these people really REALLY REALLY REALLY want me to get my ass beat tonight. 

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" 

THA PUERTO RICAN
But see, because they think that Bohemoth destroying me is set in stone, it's not going to happen! That's the way the universe works! Now I admit it, I'm a little bit...worried about stepping into the Hell In A Cell with a madman. Bohemoth is going to be an animal unleashed inside that 16-feet high, 20 feet wide Cell. And there's not going to be no Popick, no Lindsay, no Wall in there with me. I'm my own man tonight. But I am up for the challenge. I will take the risk, because life is just too short not to! There's no way in, and no way out except through a locked door. But so what? I've got WONDERFUL athletic ability! I'm tougher than nails! And don't forget, I am The Corporate Champ, The Corporate One, The P.R. Menace, the most electrifying man in professional wrestling, AND the greatest Puerto Rican athlete that has ever lived! The fact that I am all that and a bag of chips is the reason that I am going to get through this! THAT and the fact that I am the most TENACIOUS man in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! And the fact of the matter is that there ain't NOBODY crazy enough to do this gig except for "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican! So I am going to go out there and step into Hell...

PRL takes a moment to realize what's ahead of him. He does a big cartoonish gulp.

THA PUERTO RICAN
...and I am going to come back...ALIVE! THE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~! 

P.R. takes a deep breath, looks at his black spray-painted briefcase, and then walks away. 

J. MATH
Guys, back to you. 

COLE
P.R. sure seemed alot more confident then he was just a few minutes ago. 

COACH
Because he is. He's ready for Bohemoth. The time is now and PRL is up to the task!