Tony149 0 Report post Posted May 30, 2007 (edited) * DING * DING * DING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, our next contest, sanctioned by HI-YAH promotions, one fall with a 15 minute time limit and it is a return match for the tag team championship of the world! Under HI-YAH regulations throwing your opponent over the top rope or ramming them head-first into the steel guardrail or ring post is grounds for immediate disqualification. Now let’s meet the participants. First the challengers in tonight’s contest, from San Antonio, Texas, total combine weight 497 pounds, they are accompanied by MELODY NERDLY…”THE TEXAS TWISTER” JOCK MULLIGAN and BARON WINDELS…THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGERS! Fall Out Boy’s “Thriller” blares in the background as the Gunslingers jog to the ring, fists pumped and all smiles. Meanwhile, their pig-tailed, Daisy Duke short wearing manager Melody skips down the aisle with her arms out, causing some in the crowd to push and shove in hopes of making contact with their idol/fantasy. COLE The month of May began with a HI-YAH tag title match between the Lone Star Gunslingers and the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew and it will end with one as well. As you heard Michael Buffer say, a return match from 4 weeks ago… [b][color="#FF8C00"]HeldDOWN[/color]~! May 3rd[/b] [quote]The Texas Twister develops a sense of urgency as Rico lifts him overhead, worming out of a body vice or attempted Moustache Ride and locks on… “YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” …THE IRON CLAW!! Amazingly, Rico manages to grab a side headlock out of sheer desperation but is quickly pushed off into the ropes. A notorious ladies’ man, even lady luck is charmed by Rico de Janeiro, the King of Mardi Gras somehow able to make the blind tag as he bounces off the near side and is driven into the mat courtesy of a real Texas BULLDOG by Jock Mulligan! Unaware of what has happened the Gunslinger complain to referee Charles Robinson, who does his best to explain the situation. Even Melody gets in on the act, jumping on the apron to protest. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The crowd reacts as Lucius sneaks inside with the tag title in hand. Soul believes he has a clear shot at Jock when… “YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” …LOGAN MANN shows up and rips the belt out of his hands! LUCIUS :o Wagging his finger in Soul’s face Logan is blindsided by Rico. The crowd erupts again as SYNTH makes his presence felt, evening up the odds. As the bodies start to fly the referee notices the mayhem going on behind him and calls for the bell. [/quote] COLE (CONT’D) …where the Gunslingers came 3 seconds away from dethroning the dynamic duo of Rico de Janeiro and “Sweet” Lucius Soul for the HI-YAH tag team championship. Fortunately for the Gunslingers, the Heavenly Rockers were there to watch their backs as the champions almost turned it ugly near the end. COACH I’d say unfortunately for the Lone Star Gunslingers, Cole. Because of the Heavenly Rockers interference they didn’t just lose the match, they lost the winner’s purse too. Even had they won via disqualification the Gunslingers would’ve earned a nice chunk of change for a hard night’s work, but the egomaniacs that the Heavenly Rockers are, they had to involve themselves someway, somehow. COLE Be that as it may, I happen to know for a fact -- because I deal with facts unlike some people I work with -- the Lone Star Gunslingers appreciate their newfound relationship with the Heavenly Rockers. It’s only been a few weeks but they’ve learned a great amount from Synth and Logan. Easy lover She'll get a hold on you believe it Like no other Before you know it you'll be on your knees The swagger, the ‘stache stroking, ‘fro pickin’…it’s all there as the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew appear in front of the thousands in attendance. Lucius holds the tag belt up to his face as he struts to the ring George Jefferson style, shaping his ‘fro while Rico de Janeiro can’t stop touching himself, caressing his hairy chest. BUFFER And their opponents, they are the REIGNING and DEFENDING HI-YAH tag team champions...RICO DE JANEIRO and "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL...THE MARDI GRAS HOOOOMMEWRECKING CREW! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE And here come a couple of young men who wowed quite a few people with their outing this past Sunday night at School’s Out against the Heavenly Rockers. COACH They did what nobody, except myself of course, thought was possible and that’s hang in with the Heavenly Rockers. I heard people say it was going to be a squash, a total annihilation, but it was the other way around. Rico and Lucius owned the Heavenly Rockers in every way imaginable. They dominated. If not for Melody sticking her nose where it didn’t belong, the original decision would’ve stood. I bet Logan thanked her after the show. And by thank I mean bang. COLE All right, that’s enough. I’ve already had to apologize once for you, I’m not going to do it again. The wrestlers are set and the bell is officially sound. * DINGDINGDING * Baron Windels and Rico de Janeiro begin with a test of strength, and Rico impressively suplexes Baron overhead out of the knuckle lock. Windels charges to his feet and into a hip toss, but Rico goes to the well one too many times as Baron blocks a second hip toss attempt and counters with one of his own, followed by a dropkick and arm drag takedown. Rico tries to shake Baron loose, hip blocking him across the ring, but the Gunslinger shows the tenacity of a pit bull and holds on tight to the arm-bar. Frustrated by Baron’s death grip de Janeiro cocks his fist in clear view of the referee who warms him about it (closed fists are illegal in the sport of professional wrestling, you know). A man of the rules Rico decides against the punch and scoops Baron for a slam…but Windels rolls through in a SMALL PACKAGE! ONE… KICKOUT! Rico ducks a clothesline and nails Baron on the rebound with a HIGH KNEE! ONE… TWO… NO! Complaints of a slow count are quickly dismissed by the HI-YAH official signed to the match, meaning an actual Japanese person. COLE There may be a slight language barrier, but slapping your hands together in rapid motion is universally recognized. COACH Can somebody tell me why now? Why now is a HI-YAH official flown in to officiate a title defense? Aren’t the referees we have good enough? COLE Of course they are. But with the Lone Star Gunslingers involved, it’s a big match in Japan as they were wildly popular during there time in HI-YAH. COACH So in other words, the fix is in? The King of the Mardi Gras rams Baron into the knee of “Sweet” Lucius Soul and tags out. However, Rico stays in to hold Baron so Lucius can work the body over with an array of kicks and forearm shivers to the face. Together they whip Baron into the ropes…BLIND TAG…but the big Texan ducks an attempted double clothesline and leapfrogs Rico on the rebound, then along with Jock dropkick the Homewrecking Crew! “YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Melody fires her imaginary pistols in the air, joining the crowd in their state of euphoria. Rico and Lucius, they‘re laid out on the arena floor. COLE The crowd is electric! They want to see the HI-YAH tag titles change hands. But don’t you change that channel. Our tag team title match resumes after the break! [b][color="#FF8C00"]WILL THE CHAMPS BE[/color] “[color="#FF0000"]GUNNED[/color]” [color="#FF8C00"]DOWN[/color]? [color="#00FF00"]HI-YAH Tag Team Title Bout[/color] [color="#DDA0DD"]The Mardi Gras[/color] [color="#FF0000"]Homewrecking Crew[/color] [Champions] Vs. [color="#0000FF"]The Lone Star Gunsliners[/color] [Challengers] [color="#FF8C00"]COME ON BACK AND FIND OUT, YA HEAR[/color]?[/b] “Sweet” Lucius Soul and Jock Mulligan lockup as we return from break and Jock blocks Soul’s attempted cheap shot, catching the leg in midair before spinning Sweetness around and compressing his vertebrate with an ATOMIC DROP. Crotched mid-ring in a whole lotta pain Soul leaves himself exposed to a BANDIT KICK! ONE… TWO… But only two, as Jock rolls off and Rico drops a big elbow on his partner! The crowd ROARS in unison as the Gunslingers get them some of Rico de Janeiro. The King of the Mardi Gras rocked by a series of right hands and Cowboy Bebop bionic elbows. Jelly-legged, Rico is sent for the ride and leveled by a pair of FLYING SHOULDERBLOCKS! COLE Arkansas Toothpick! COACH Has it struck anybody how odd it is for two guys from Texas to use a move called an Arkansas Toothpick? Must be a Melody thing. The Gunslingers allotted 5 seconds are up and Baron must return to the corner. As the referee escorts him back Lucius forearms Jock in the upper back, knocking him through the ropes and to the ground. Rico quickly shakes off the cobwebs and rams the Texas Twister FACE-FIRST INTO THE STEEL GUARDRAIL… COLE That’s an automatic disqualification under HI-YAH rules, but the referee didn’t see it. …and then INTO THE RINGPOST! COLE And that’s another automatic disqualification right there! COACH Yeah, but like you said, the referee didn’t see it. And you can’t call what you didn’t see. Ha! Baron and Melody express a great deal of concern as they’re restrained by the referee. Melody on the verge of tears once Jock is rolled in a BLOODY MESS. COLE Oh, my. Oh, my, my. COACH Well, on the bright side, he hit a gusher. Get it? Gusher? Oil? Texas? COLE Now is not the time for jokes, Coach. Jock Mulligan is one of the finest young men you’ll ever meet and to see him in this state is…it’s horrible. COACH If it weren’t my job I wouldn’t want to come to…either. ONE… TWO… FOOT ON THE ROPE. Lucius targets the open wound, BITING and driving his fist into Jock’s forehead. Jock’s face continues to take a pounding as he and the sole of Rico’s boot are introduced violently. Rico happily accepts the tag from Lucius, stroking his porn ‘stache as he enters the ring and smashes his right forearm into the midsection of the Texas Twister. Rico pulls him out of the corner and delivers a gut wrench suplex, followed by a succession of elbow drops and the cover. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Melody and Jock encourage the crowd to get behind Jock and it works. “LET’S GO JOCK!” “LET’S GO JOCK!” “LET’S GO JOCK!” Rico taunts the crowd after placing Jock in a debilitating neck vice, pretty much spiting in each and every fans face. “RICO SUCKS!” “RICO SUCKS!” “RICO SUCKS!” Nowhere to go Jock’s only escape is to GOUGE the eyes of Rico de Janeiro! COLE Well, that’s one way to get it done, even if it’s not legal. Lucius sprints across the ring and knocks Baron off the apron to prevent any chance of a tag, drawing him inside, thus allowing the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew to isolate Jock near their corner. Yet another tag is made by the champions and Lucius makes quite a splash from the apron…a SLINGSHOT 450 SPLASH! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! FOOT ON THE ROPE. COACH Jock’s operating on instincts now, Cole. The second time tonight he’s been saved by the ropes. Soul whips Jock into the corner and hits the SOUL BROTHER (360 STINGER) SPLASH! Jock can barely stand as he stumbles out towards the center of the ring and right in the direction of a POUNCE…that’s lands him near his corner, allowing Baron to TAG HIMSELF IN! LUCIUS :o “YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COLE I don’t think that’s what Lucius had in mind. Baron uses his long legs to kick Soul in the gut, hammer him across the back of the neck with a judo chop and land a big right hand. Enter Rico, who Baron casually flips over his shoulder in a backdrop. It’s 2 on 1 for the time being and Baron does more than hold his own, he kicks ass. Soul and de Janeiro both receive a pair of Cowboy Bebop elbows and a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER! Rico is sent flying out of the ring courtesy of a BIG BOOT, while a FLYING LARIAT decks Lucius! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Baron scoops Lucius up for the Devil’s Addition, his fall away slam maneuver…but Lucius lands on his feet and stuns him with a SWINGING DDT out of nowhere! ONE… TWO… THREE! NO! KICKOUT!! “YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” COACH Damnit, I thought he had them! This is a helluva match, Cole. COLE And you’re seeing it on Thursday night’s one number rated program. Forearm shivers and kicks to the legs and body rattle the 6’7” Texan, who is then fired into the buckle. But he gets the BOOT up as Lucius charges in, sending him staggering out of the corner and in perfect position for a BULLDOG!! COLE Bulldog! He got him with the bulldog! We’re gonna have new champions! Desperate times call for desperate measures, and sensing their tag titles are in trouble Rico reaches into his bag of sleazy tricks, grabbing one of the tag belts from the timekeeper’s table. With Melody occupied with the welfare of Jock, Rico has a clear shot at Baron. He slithers inside the ring like the snake in the grass that he is… “YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” ONE… TWO… THR-- …and is WALLOPED between the eyes by a LOGAN MANN RUNNING AXEHANDLE SMASH!!! * DINGDINGDING * Logan mounts on top of Rico just as he did Sunday night at hammers away. COACH I told you, Cole. This guy is an egomaniac. What business does he have out here? COLE Protecting a friend. COACH And I think he just cost them the tag titles again. With friends like that... The arena falls in a hush silence as Baron yanks Logan off of Rico and gives him a mouthful. Logan doesn’t even bother to explain himself and walks away, but Baron brings him back face to face which doesn‘t go over well with Mann. Tensions really rise as the two BUTT heads. Still on the ground just feet away is Rico, a look of shock on his face as he watches the second coming of the Mega Powers about to explode. He quietly sneaks out and heads for higher ground along with Lucius. They want no part of what may happen. Meanwhile, Melody reassumes her role as peacemaker but neither side wants to hear of her “make love, not war” garbage, even though that’s more of a COD thing but she doesn’t want to see friends fight. COLE What in the world is going on? These guys are ready to tear at each other’s throats. “YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” The crowd reacts as HOLLY-WOOD and SYNTH make their way to the ring. But Synth isn’t there to defuse the situation, he tries to ignite it, shoving Baron who retaliates in kind. Lost in the mayhem is Jock Mulligan. At least EMTs are there checking on him. OAOAST officials soon follow. They assist Jock and get between the Heavenly Rockers and Baron. Melody can be heard apologizing to Holly and asking if they’re still friends. Holly just wants to calm her man. COLE An explosive situation to say the least. One that may be the direct result of what my broadcast colleague pointed out, and that’s the Heavenly Rockers cost the Lone Star Gunslingers the HI-YAH tag team championship yet again. While I firmly believe there was no ill intent involved, I can understand Baron’s feelings. COACH They had the match won. I’m as big a supporter of the MGHWC as you’ll find, but even I have to admit they were fortunate to retain their titles here tonight. Edited May 31, 2007 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
