HD: Mr. Boricua Pre-Match Segment

[Ed Wood Caulfield 0]

Place this right before the Zack/Boricua match, which should be easy to do since I'm posting this BEFORE the show. Go me!

 

The camera cuts to the backstage area. The camera does a pan of Mr. Boricua, starting with his feet, and going *all the way up* to his head. The crowd boos. Mr. Boricua is wearing his sunglasses and staring out into the open, with his arms crossed. "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican stands right next to him, and the size difference is quite obvious. PRL is sporting a new slicked back hairstyle and is in his wrestling attire. Stephen Joseph Popick stands to the opposite side of Mr. Boricua looking on with an evil grin on his face. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez stands behind Boricua, holding the OAOAST Women's Championship belt (remember that?) over her left shoulder. The rest of The Lightning Crew watches from a distance. 

"THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN 
All right, Boricua. This is it! This is your night! YOUR moment! YOUR destiny! Remember, your whole career you've been working for this one moment! Your time in the sun! Tonight is your night, YOUR day of glory! You, my friend, are Bound For Glory! Do you hear me? 

MR. BORICUA
YES! 

THA PUERTO RICAN 
Good. This is it, Boricua. You're going to anilihate Zack Malibu. You're going--you're going to rip him apart. Take him out. You're--you're going to crush him. You're going to chew him up and SPIT him out! You're going to--you're going to DESTROY ZACK MALIBU! YOU'RE GOING TO BREAK HIS BONES! YOU'RE GOING TO SQUASH HIM LIKE A BUG! YOU'RE GOING TO CRIPPLE HIM! 

MR. BORICUA
GRRRRR. 

PRL
YOU'RE GOING TO CRUMPLE HIM UP LIKE HE'S A NEWSPAPER AND THROW HIM INTO THE GARBAGE! 

MR. BORICUA
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! 

PRL
You're the biggest threat he's ever faced! You're bigger than The Big Show. Bigger than Andre The Giant. You're the biggest big man the OAOAST has ever seen, and tonight you are going to become THEIR WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! 

MR. BORICUA
ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! 

PRL
And then, Boricua, what's going to happen next? 

MR. BORICUA
Uhhh...Me. Give. Belt. To. You?

PRL
No! No! No! No! Not that! No, Boricua! No! Uh-uh! Not that way! No! Absolutely not! No! We just don't give belts over to people in the OAOAST! 

STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK
But P.R., isn't that how you got the 24/7 Titl--

THA PUERTO RICAN
Cool it! 

POPICK 
Chill.

PRL
No. See, remember what we talked about? After you beat Zack Malibu, I'm going to come out and cash in my Golden Contract. (PRL holds up his black spray-painted briefcase containing his Golden Contract inside) Then, we'll have a match. HOWEVER, because you'll be so tired and in pain from your match with Zack *wink wink nudge nudge*, the match will be short because you won't be able to handle my awesomeness. So, you'll fall to the Corporate Nightmare, I'll cover you, and I'll become the NEW OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion and FINALLY FINALLY FULFIL MY DESTINY! 

MR. BORICUA
But. Tonight. My. Destiny! 

PRL looks surprised at hearing this. He quickly tries to find a way out of this predicament. 

PRL
Uh...it is. Boricua, it is. Trust me. It is. It is your night of destiny too! Really, it is. 

MR. BORICUA
Really? 

PRL
Yes. Really! I swear. 

POPICK
Yep. It is, Boricua! 

MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ
He's right! 

MR. BORICUA
You. Sure? 

PRL
I swear, Boricua. Cross my heart. Hope to die. Stick a needle in my eye! 

MR. BORICUA
I. Hate. Needles. Needles BAD! NEEDLES BAD! GRRRRRRRRRRRR! 

PRL
Uh, needles bad! Needles bad! I know, Boricua! I know! Now, go out there and do what I say, which is...?

MR. BORICUA
DESTROY ZACK MALIBU! 

PRL
That a boy, Boricua! Now, go out there and win the World Title for me--and you too! 

POPICK
Yeah! 

LINDSAY
You can do it Boricua! 

MR. BORICUA
DESTROY ZACK MALIBU! ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! 

PRL taps Boricua on his right shoulder and walks away. The Lightning Crew and Popick cheer him on. PRL, Popick, and Lindsay follow him, PRL holding the black spray-painted briefcase with an evil smile on his face.  

THA PUERTO RICAN
Go get him, big man! 

POPICK
You're the man, Boricua! 

LINDSAY
You can do it, Boricua! 

VITAMIN X
BOO-YAH~! Go get 'im, Boricua! 

THOMAS RODRIGUEZ
Do it, big time, big man! 

CUBAN WALL
This is your night, dude! 

THE BONE THUG
ARRIBA LA RAZA~! 

PRINCESS STACEY
Good luck, Boricua! 

The crowd boos. The camera cuts to Sofa Central with Double C~! 

COLE
I can't believe it! PRL is using Mr. Boricua as a way to get the Title to him! 

COACH
Why can't you believe it? It actually makes sense once you think about it! 

COLE
Well, I supposed after four years, nothing is unbelievable when it comes to Tha Puerto Rican. 

COACH
That's why he is the best wrestler never to wear the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title...until tonight! 

COLE
Well, we'll find out coming up next! Zack Malibu puts the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title on the line against Mr. Boricua in a match that "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican will surely be watching! Zack Malibu vs. Mr. Boricua in the main event for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship in just a heartbeat away! It's coming up next right here on HeldDOWN~!