King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted August 9, 2007 We must be short on time. That can be the only possible explanation as to why we're suddenly in the presence of Alix Maria Spezia going through the painstaking process of picking this week's lotto numbers. Having given up on 'known sexual conquests' after realising the range of lottery numbers doesn't go high enough, she's settled on 'offences on criminal record' as she flicks through her copy of magazine. Of course, the other explanation for why we're seeing this could be the quick walk-by by new OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champion, Leon Rodez. ALIX Heeeyyy, what's with the upside down frown there mister? Are you really Leon Rodez? [i]The[/i] Leon Rodez? Did I set the date on my time machine to 2005 instead of 2007 when I woke up this morning? Uh-oh, I've said too much. Quiet Alix! He cannot know the secrets. Only once he truly loves you can you be transported back to your time. Oh no, wait, that was the plot from Back To The Future. Was that the original or one of the 'cash in on the movie's success with ever decreasing in quality sequels to the point the franchise is ruined, then contemplate a prequel before realising that's pretty much accepting creative defeat'? What would they call a prequel to Back To The Future anyway? Would it be the past, the present, what the hell would be going on? Maybe I should call my agent. It could be the big screenplay writing break I need! But alas, I don't HAVE an agent, not since my pet goldfish Agent Orange's demise. I guess I should have named him 'Agent Gold' really, but goldfish aren't really gold, are they? LEON Are you two done? ALIX .....heeeyyy, what's with the upside down frown there mister? Are you really Leon Rodez? Did I set the da... LEON Jessica Beil. With a long sigh, Alix trails off and gazes into the distance. LEON Interesting. Okay, Alix, do you know where Shayne and Tyler are? I kinda figured they'd be with you by now. ALIX Nah. It's Krista they have the crush on, silly. LEON Poor kids. Okay, well, if you see them... ALIX Hey, you didn't answer my question! LEON Uh... the one about goldfish, or about popular movie prequels? ALIX The one about why you're such a happy clappy chappy! Last time I looked you were all like 'oh, my sister is gone'. 'Oh, I'm so lost without my sister'. 'Oh, my raging pornstar mojo has vanished ever since my poor sister joined The Enterprise, even with so many hot pieces of white Nerdly jailbait ass showing up every week I still can't get no love in my shack!' LEON Just so we're clear, do you count Marv and Mel in that whole 'Nerdly jailbait' thing? ALIX No! They're like, what, twenty seven! You wanna hit that, ain't no law against it. Leon just blinks. LEON Yeah, well, I just won the 6-Man Tag Titles off of Blanchard and co. Plus, I've got a good feeling about AngleSlam. ALIX That's super, little man! Super-de-duper! See, I figured me and Krista stripping off your sister's clothes and leaving her in her underwear in front of thousands of people and millions of TV viewers and then accepting polaroids of certain action shots at our more recent autograph sessions would have got you kinda bummed out just a little bit. LEON Look, I didn't like seeing my sister stripped to her underwear any more than you did. ALIX Actually, I did kinda like it. I did kinda a lot like it. A lot kinda did... uh, I... kinda lot... help? LEON You liked seeing my sister in her underwear. Which, by the way... not cool. Leon wags his finger at Alix LEON But, maybe it was for the best. She won't listen to reason. She wouldn't listen to her friends, her family. So, the only hope is her making her own mind up and unfortunately, hitting rock bottom might just speed that process up a little. ALIX Thanks Dr. Phil! LEON Yeah. So, I'm gonna be going. Nice talking to your brain. ALIX Hey, just one little teensie question before you scuttle off with that fancy little '6' belt. So, for arguement's sake, say if me and you were fooling around like for old time's sake or something and Jade just [i]happened[/i] to walk in on us and just [i]happened[/i] to fall onto the bed in shock and I just [i]happened[/i] to assume she was a burglar, or some sort of alien hybrid slash burglar just to make it a little more kinky and stuff, assuming that happened, would that still be incest? Cause, I was thinking... LEON Goodbye Alix. Just before disappearing out of sight, Leon turns back to Alix and wags his finger again. LEON [i]So[/i] not cool. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
