Tony149 0 Report post Posted August 16, 2007 (edited) Rewrote the intros to help give the match a bigger feel. BUFFER The opening contest is scheduled for one and is for the ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP! [i][font="Arial Black"][color="#FF00FF"]Hey, hey, you, you I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one Hey, hey, you, you I could be your girlfriend![/color][/font][/i] [b][color="#FF00FF"]*[/color] [color="#FF0000"]BOOM[/color] [color="#FF00FF"]*[/color][/b] BUFFER Introducing first, the challengers, who both reside in the City of Angels and tonight look to become tag champions for an unprecedented fourth time…“THE HOLLYWOOD BAD GIRL” ALIX MARIA SPEZIA and “MISS CALIFORNIA” KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN, America’s Sweethearts….CHICKS OVER DICKS!! “YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” The pomp and circumstance that usually accompanies COD is absent, as Alix and Krista simply march to the ring with a look of determination never before seen. COLE You think COD is ready or what? They haven’t wanted a couple of men this bad in a long, LONG time. COACH And you can thank Ned Blanchard and Leon Rodez for that. The Handsom COLE Leon Rodez? What’s he got to do with this? COACH He was so bad in bed it caused Alix to swear off men. On the flipside, the Handsome Hustler was such the best it made Krista forget about all the rest. She decided to go out on top. Who can blame her? Everybody after Ned -- and me -- is a step down. COD anxiously wait the arrival of Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright, waving them on down. [i]You break the laws You hustle, you deal, you steal from us all Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Money talks[/i] BUFFER About to come down the aisle with their Chief Financial Officer and tonight’s special guest referee MACKENZIE DECENZO, the reigning and defending undisputed tag team champions of the world, representing THE ENTERPRISE…“THE NATURAL” CHRISTIAN WRIGHT and “THE BILLION DOLLAR HEIR” THEODORE MONEYMAKER!! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE Ring announcer Michael Buffer billed Christian Wright and Theodore Moneymaker as the undisputed tag team champions, but there’s plenty to be disputed about the matter in which they won the titles from COD on August 2nd. And just how impartial of a referee can we expect Mackenzie to be when she’s employed by the Enterprise?! Not to mention that ridiculous outfit she’s wearing in the middle of summer! COACH You gotta think and dress cool to stay cool, baby boy. But I can see you’re already lining up excuses for COD! Mackie’s no Tim Donaghy. She doesn’t need the money. Obviously Anglesault feels the same or he wouldn’t have agreed to Teddy’s request. COLE What in the world is going on? The last time I checked it was still August, not Halloween. To everyone‘s shock, the BANDAGED UP champions are WHEELED ringside by the Beverly Hills Blonds while CPA provides security protection. COACH Oh, my God. I hoped and prayed it was only a rumor. COLE Rumor? What rumor? Mackenzie DeCenzo, who despite being outdoors in the summer heat is wearing the mink coat presented to her last week, receives the microphone from Michael Buffer MACKIE Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please. Theodore Moneymaker has a very important announcement. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” MONEYMAKER I appreciate your concern. Thank you. As you can see, Mr. Wright and I are in no condition to wrestle after the assassination attempt we survived earlier this afternoon. WRIGHT : ( COLE You gotta be kidding me! That’d be all over the news if true. MONEYMAKER Thankfully Mackie was out shopping and the Blonds were scoring for chicks who aren’t over dicks, so they weren’t in harm’s way when a car bomb -- that’s right a car bomb -- went off next to our limo, shooting us 40 or 50 feet in the air. As promoters of freedom and free enterprise in an increasingly leftist world, it’s no wonder an attempt was made on our lives. Fortunately, however, the big broad shoulders of our Certified Public Ass-kicker, CPA, adsorbed the impact. All the nails and bolts planted inside the bomb just bounced like a ball off a wall, baby. There’ll be a couple of extra zeros in your bank account next month for that. But it’s with deep regret that I must announce there will be no tag team title match here tonight. “BULLSHIT!” “BULLSHIT!” “BULLSHIT!” MONEYMAKER Hey, I agree. CW and I wanted to go, but our personal physician instructed us to refrain from wrestling until Angleslam. “YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Speaking of Angleslam, the man the event is named after appears onstage with mic in hand. ANGLESAULT So you’ve been instructed by your personal physician not to compete tonight you say? MONEYMAKER He faxed you the note. So read it and weep, boss. HAHAHAHAHAHA! ANGLESAULT (chuckles) Funny you should mention that, because my office didn’t receive any note. MONEYMAKER :hm: ANGLESAULT Therefore, you’re medically cleared to compete. If you still chose not to, then you’ll be stripped of the titles. Oh, and by the way, the Blonds and CPA are banned from ringside. Now you have until the count of 10 to make your decision. One! The crowd picks up where AS left off. TWO… THREE… FOUR… COD help Wright and Moneymaker with their decision, tipping their wheelchairs over from behind! COLE America’s Sweethearts ready to get this party started now! Tossed inside, the champs rush to their feet and stomp a mud hole on the girls as they slide underneath the bottom rope. Then CW and Teddy lash COD across the back with their tag titles. Of course Mackie waits for them to finish before officially starting the match. * DINGDINGDING * COD are brought to a vertical base and peppered with closed fists, or European uppercuts in CW’s case. Teetering on the ropes the girls return fire, sending Wright and Moneymaker backtracking. COD fire the champions into the ropes and backdrop the pair on the rebound, then dropkick them out over the top! “C-O-D!” “C-O-D!” “C-O-D!” ALIX :headbang: To buy Teddy and CW time to regroup, special guest referee Mackenzie DeCenzo orders COD to a neutral corner where she all but gives them a full body cavity search, patting them down for illegal foreign objects. Alix and Krista enjoy it as much as Mackie seemingly does. The Enterprise CFO thoroughly examining the girls, particularly Krista, who she double and triple checks. Having been around the block more than a few times, the single mother/female heroine guides Mackie’s hand to the chewy caramel center and pushes up. COACH The hell…? COLE You can cut the sexual tension with a dildo! COACH What?! An irate Theodore Moneymaker pounds the ring apron over what’s going on inside, snapping Mackenzie out of her trance. She yanks her hand out from under Krista’s…yeah…and threatens disqualification for touching an official in an inappropriate matter. COLE How could Mackenzie even justify disqualifying COD for that? Now I don’t condone Krista’s behavior, but Mackie appeared to… COACH Don’t even go there, Cole. You know how slanderous the far left are. Disagree with them and they’ll smear you in the press and online. KRISTA (to Mackie) Shh, my darling. I understand. MACKIE :wub: THEODORE :angry: MACKIE (to Krista) Pervert! COLE I’m telling you, Coach, Mackenzie is torn between loyalty to her boss and lust for Krista. COACH Mackie’s ideal relationship is with a powerful businessman, not woman. Krista’s lucky she hasn’t been charged with sexual harassment. No means no. Theodore and Krista lockup and Moneymaker kicks her in the abdomen with the point of the boot. Following a snap mare, Teddy smashes the elbow into the chest and covers, but Krista kicks out well before a count can be attempted. Moneymaker cocks his fist and swings at Krista‘s head, but the Notorious KID ducks and scores on a modified version of her Great California Adventure, compressing the Billion Dollar Heir’s spinal column with an INVERTED ATOMIC DROP and then a SUPERKICK flush to the jaw! COLE Oh, look at this! We may have new champions minutes into the match! ONE… TWO… FOOT ON THE ROPE! The tag is made and the Hollywood Bad Girl channels her inner Warrior, pumping her fist and running in place, but she’s lured into a false sense of security and thumbed in the eye. Rather than scold Moneymaker for the rule violation, Mackie stands pat and watches as Theodore chops Alix against the ropes. Christian Wright receives the tag and heads to the top while Moneymaker tends to unfinished business, whipping Alix across for a baaaaack body drop…but she puts on the breaks and wraps Teddy up in a SMALL PACKAGE! COACH Silly rabbit. You can’t pin the illegal man. Perched on top, Wright climbs down a buckle and drops the big elbow from the middle rope! ONE… TWO… SAVE BY KRISTA! And now Mackie becomes concerned with enforcing the rules, admonishing Krista for her actions during which the champs put the boots to Alix. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” KRISTA :firedevil: Mackie physically has to restrain Krista from entering, much to her delight as she gets to feel up KID’s tone body again. COLE This is getting ridiculous, ladies and gentlemen. Our worst fears have come true. Mackenzie DeCenzo is playing favorites. COACH Wasn’t it just a few minutes ago you said Mackie is torn between loyalty to the Enterprise and lust for Krista? COLE Yeah. And? COACH Then how do you know she isn‘t doing Krista a favor? I mean, her face might get rearranged if she’s in there with Wright or Moneymaker. Theodore claps his hands overhead to simulate a tag as he and CW swap places. Unsurprisingly, Mackie permits the unseen tag. Scoop and a slam, and Teddy drops A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS! Before counting Mackenzie reminds Krista one more strike and COD’s disqualified, putting her between a rock and a hard place. THEODORE :lol: ONE… TWO… THR-- NO!! THEODORE :huh: Annoyed by Alix’s fighting spirit, Moneymaker smashes her into the turnbuckle and then off to the far corner, charging in after…and eats a BOOT TO THE FACE! The Hollywood Bad Girl then grabs Teddy by the head and delivers a SUCKER FREE TORNADO DDT off the middle rope!! “YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” Alix covers, but Mackie refuses to count, now citing Moneymaker as the illegal man. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” COLE Count, you bitch! Krista shakes her head in disgust as CW pulls Alix off Theodore and rocks her with a hard European uppercut. The Natural shoots Alix in and over with the WRIGHT OFF…NO, Alix counters with a monkey flip! Moneymaker steps in to prevent a tag, but runs into a drop toehold from Alix and splashes CW! * TAG * “YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!” VANITY PUNCHES stagger Theodore long enough for the fitness queen to pull out a compact mirror and admire herself before decking the Billion Dollar Heir, who nosedives to the canvas as Krista bounces off the near side and salsa’s her way towards his carcass, drilling the knee onto the back of the head! “C-O-D!” “C-O-D!” “C-O-D!” As Krista puts the badmouth on Teddy, CW clubs her from behind and delivers a nasty GERMAN SUPLEX complete with bridge! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Wright motions for Teddy to go up top, but the Billion Dollar Heir settles on the middle rope instead and accidentally drills CW with a bionic elbow! Krista able to get out of the way. Remorseful, Theodore checks on Christian’s welfare…and gets locked in his own BANK VAULT! “YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” COLE Bank Vault! Krista’s got Theodore in the Bank Vault! COACH How embarrassing. That woman will stoop to any level to rob a man of his pride. Mackie pleads for Teddy’s release. Unable to reason with Krista, the Money Honey tries the next best thing -- seduce her. Mackie grabs a handful of ass and squeezes, which is just what the doctor ordered. Krista releases the hold and readies to plant a big wet one on Mackenzie when CW sneaks up and applies a SLEEPER HOLD! COACH Hahaha! Yes! He’s got it hooked in and hooked in good, Cole. Krista’s starting to go out of it. “KRISTA!” “KRISTA!” “KRISTA!” Mackie makes sure she’s in good position to hear Krista quit, on a knee and in her face. Wright keeps cranking on the pressure, beads of sweat dripping off his mug and onto Krista, but Ally breaks it up with a well place KICK TO THE COCONUTS! WRIGHT :o The speedy Latina exits before Mackie spots her. When questioned Alix says “No speak English.” COACH And I’m white. What a load of bull. Krista struggles to her feet as a tag is made by the champions. Doubled over, Krista is popped upside the head with a Billion $ Kneelift and then pile driven! Theodore signals it’s over and covers. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! “YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” Moneymaker blatantly CHOKES Krista right in front of Mackie, who of course turns a blind eye to clean the ring of imaginary debris. “MACKIE SUCKS!” “MACKIE SUCKS!” “MACKIE SUCKS!” CW comforts Mackie in the corner, covering her ears so she can’t hear the unflattering chant. WRIGHT SILENCE!! “CHRISTIAN SHALLOWS!” “CHRISTIAN SHALLOWS!” “CHRISTIAN SHALLOWS!” WRIGHT :rolleyes: Meanwhile, Theodore shoots Krista into the ropes and whiffs on a clothesline. Krista shoots back off the ropes and the two wipe each other out, bumping heads as they leapfrog simultaneously. COACH They both had the same idea in mind, Cole. COLE Krista in dire need of a tag. She’s been in the match quite a long time and one has to wonder how much she has left in the tank. Alix is a manic on the apron, dancing like she’s never danced before in anticipation of the tag. Moneymaker and Duncan begin to stir, with Theodore the closest to the corner. Both crawl towards their respective partners and it’s Moneymaker who makes the tag first. Wright hurries to intercept COD’s tag, but Krista lunges forward and out to Alix! “YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” ALIX :headbang: CW begs off to lure Alix into a false sense of security just as Theodore did earlier, but Alix learned her lesson, blocking Wright’s blow and jams both knees into the Natural’s face. She takes CW to the corner and rams into the turnbuckle not once, but a SUPER SWEET SIXTEEN TIMES! CW falls to his knees and then on his face. Alix turns him over and covers! ONE… TWO… Alix rolls off and laughs as Teddy drops an elbow on his own partner! Then Krista flies into view, decking Moneymaker with a forearm smash that sends them both out to the floor. COACH All hell’s breaking loose. You got action in and outside the ring! Alix stands over CW and shakes what the Good Lord gave her, flipping back onto Wright…AND A PAIR OF HIS KNEES! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!” COLE Wright had Alix’s booty shaking moonsault well scouted. You gotta be real sure on a move like that or what we just saw will happen. While Teddy and Krista still battle on the arena floor, CW places Alix in a front facelock, getting the crowd to rise up as the end appears near. COACH Stockmarket Crash coming up. Wright lifts Alix up, but the Hollywood Bad Girl manages to slip over and plant CW with a FULL NELSON FACE CRUSHER!! COLE Christian Wright, You have died of Dysentery! Spezia covers but Mackie doesn’t count, feigning an eye injury. If she doesn’t have one now, she will soon as Alix calls bullshit. Mackie warns Alix about putting a finger on her, pointing to the stripe shirt underneath her mink fur coat to remind Alix who’s boss. COACH Hit her Alix! Hit it-- I mean her! COLE Yeah, so COD can get disqualified. Outside, Moneymaker shoves Krista into the guardrail and grabs CW’s BRIEFCASE in the corner. Theodore slithers inside like a snake in the grass, and then charges full steam ahead towards Alix and… * THUD * …BLASTS MACKIE SQUARE BETWEEN THE EYES WITH THE BRIEFCASE!!! “YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” THEODORE :angry: Moneymaker slams the briefcase and gets SPEARED by Krista! A woman possessed, Krista tries to claw Teddy’s eyes out. Alix joins in on the fun, stomping Theodore in the gut as a SECOND REFEREE, OAOAST senior official Earl Hebner, arrives to check on Mackenzie. As that goes on, the girls’ hip toss Teddy and level him with a double dropkick. And the Billion Dollar Heir seeks shelter on the arena floor, but Krista slings herself over the top rope and onto him below! COLE That took as much as out Krista as it did Theodore Moneymaker. Inside, Wright scoops Alix up in a fireman’s carry, then rolls forward, crashing all his weight down on her! COACH Bank Roll! Now count the pin Hebner! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6... It’s gotta be a 10 count by now. Earl finally notices the pin attempt. ONE… TWO… THREE! NO!! KICKOUT! “YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” Wright complaints of a slow count fall on deaf ears. The professional that he is, Christian goes back to work, rattling Alix with a combination of European uppercuts and knife-edge chops. Whipped to the far side Alix ducks a back elbow and catches CW on the rebound with a SUNSET FLIP PILEDRIVER!! COLE Burning Sensation When You Urinate! With Mackie out the only line of defense is Theodore Moneymaker, but Krista prevents him from breaking up the pin by holding onto his legs. COACH Oh, dear God, no. Please no! ONE… TWO… THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * COLE COD! COD! COD! [i][font="Arial Black"][color="#FF00FF"]Hey, hey, you, you I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one Hey, hey, you, you I could be your girlfriend![/color][/font][/i] BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, we have witnessed history. The winners and for the FOURTH TIME World tag team champions, ALIX MARIA SPEZIA and KRISTA ISADORA DUNCAN…THE CHICKS OVER DICKS!!! “YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Teddy bows his head in disbelief. His Enterprise’s rule on tag team wrestling gone completely. COD, meanwhile, have all the reason in the world to celebrate. They embrace in the center of the ring after being awared the World tag team titles for a record 4th time. COLE What a way to kick off the program with new One & Only World tag team champions! COACH I’ve seen it and I still can’t believe. It’s the second week in a row the Enterprise has lost a set of tag titles and in the opening match no less. They aren’t curtain jerkers. They didn’t have enough time to get loose. Whoever booked them to go on first did it to sabotage the Enterprise. Well I hope they’re happy because they did just that. There oughta be investigation! COLE Heh, and you said [I]I[/I] was the one lining up excuses for COD. Fans, don’t touch that dial. We have more action to come. Stay with us! Edited August 17, 2007 by Tony149 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
