HD: Denzel/Landon/PRL promo

[King Cucaracha 0]

Zack's should be combined with what PRL's sending in. This is seperate. Okay.

 

 

MELODY
Hey folks, the one of many Melody Nerdly here and I'm jammin' backstage with none other than Denzel Spencer. Like what I did there?

DENZEL
Bob Marley references? Yeah, dey never get old.

MELODY
You know it. Now, you're back on HeldDOWN~! tonight in singles action, you've gotta be pretty excited.

DENZEL
Melody, dat's right. I'm real excited for t'night. It's a real shame 'bout WDW, 'specially for a guy like me, jus' beginnin' to make a name for myself an' gettin' de opportun'ties against de Alfdoggs o' de world. But, dat don' matter no more. It's a fresh start for me now. Ya know, de battle royal at Syndicated, I didn't fare so good. But da's okay, beca...


"Excuse me..."

Both Denzel and Melody are surprised to be interrupted by, of all people, OAOAST World Champion Landon Maddix! Landon, flanked of course by Megan Skye, strolls into shot and holds up two calming hands to Spencer.

MADDIX
I'm sorry to interrupt but, would you mind if I took it from here?

DENZEL
Excuse me mon, but I t'ink I was here first...

MADDIX
Oh, that's my mistake. But, I have to ask, you DO realise who I am, right? (flashes belt) You are officially outranked. No offence.

Not feeling like arguing his side right now, Denzel just shrugs and walks away shaking his head.

MADDIX
(to Melody)
Thanks for that Maxwell. He's a good kid. Lot of potential.

MELODY
His name is actually Denzel.

MADDIX
Whatever. Let's get right down to the skinny here Melody and talk about what happened last week in Hawaii. You see, last week was supposed to be the premature end to my World Title reign. It was touted as the night my 'bogey' opponent, Todd Cortez, would shock the world and take this OAOAST Title from me. After all, how could I beat the man who knew me better than any other? How could I kickout of the Riot Act Plus? Could I really cope with the pressure of three challengers breathing down my neck? Well, last week, I gave you all your answer. There's a lot of armchair critics out there in TV land right now who spoke out against me so confidently and so often, they're still busy eating their words as I speak.

Landon smirks to himself.

MADDIX
See, not only did I [i]beat[/i] Todd Cortez, I positively ANNIHILATED him! I left him beaten. Bloodied. And bed-ridden. Last Thursday was a message to all of those people who doubt me, right me off as just some arrogant pretty-boy blond from Espágna who doesn't have the killer instinct to be Champion. Sure, I'm a little self confident. But I've got a right to be. Sure, I'm pretty. I mean... come on, who wants a taste. But when it comes down to crunch-time, I'm also willing to go to that extra length. That's what makes me such a great Champion.

Ever modest, Landon shrugs as if to say "I'm just saying what you're thinking". Melody raises her eyebrows a little but tries to seem accepting of what her new guest is saying.

MADDIX
So, it's one down and two to go. One of those two being another word-eater, mister Zack Malibu. I hope you're happy Zack. Because of you, I have no right-hand man and because of you, Todd Cortez has a concussion. Win-win, right? Right? Say, Melody, have you heard about this "AngleSlam Curse" phenomenon?

MELODY
Uh, well, yeah.

MADDIX
Yeah, me too. Zack, I've got good news for you my friend. You needn't worry about your little "AngleSlam Curse", you can let your apologists do that when the excuses are needed. The only curse you need to be concerned with is the "Cucaracha Curse", if you know what I mean, so...



"OH! That's a GOOD one!"

Now it's Landon's turn to be surprised by an interruption. This one courtesy of THA PUERTO RICAN, flanked of course by his fiancee Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. PRL and Landon scowl at each other, poor little Melody trapped in the middle.

PRL
That's cute, 'Cucaracha Curse', how long did it take you to think that one up?

MADDIX
About as long as your last World Title reign. Oh, wait, maybe not!

Landon licks his index finger and chalks one up on his imaginary scoreboard.

PRL
That's right, laugh it up. But just remember, those testicles are just a loner and sooner or later you're gonna have to let your little girlfriend have them back.

MADDIX
Are you calling Megan a man?

PRL
No, I'm calling you a woman who has to have Megan make all your decisions for you.

MADDIX
Oh. Well. That's a little rich, considering [i]your[/i] girlfriend is the one with the shiny belt around her waist. Now tell me, how does that make you feel there bigman?

PRL
I feel fine, considering I'm rubber and you're glue.

MADDIX
What the hell sort of a comeback is that, jackass?

PRL
Boing-flip.

MADDIX
...damnit.

Chewing on his gum a little more confidently now, PRL points Landon into looking him in the eyes.

PRL
Listen 'Champ', you can flap your little gums all you want about last week. But come AngleSlam, Madison Square Garden, The Big Apple, New York Cit-AY... it ain't going to change the fact that yours truly will walk in, layeth the smackdown and walk straight back out, new OAOAST World Champion. See, Zack Malibu has an AngleSlam Curse. Only this time, it's gonna be ME who takes advantage out of that jabroni's misfortune, NOT you! And then, me and my beeeeautiful fiance, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, will wed and live happily ever after, Mr. and Mrs. World Heavyweight CHAMPION!! We could exchange belts instead of rings.

MADDIX
Yeah because that wouldn't be lame at all.

PRL
Boing-flip.

MADDIX
......damnit. Besides, the only reason your little underling is even holding that belt is because she never defends it. Which could be for one of two reasons. Either A- you're still waiting on the results of that gender test to check she's actually an eligible champion and yes, that actually [i]was[/i] me calling your girlfriend a man, it's not original I know but I feel it works. Or, alternatively, Option B- she's just like you. All mouth, no panties.

While PRL isn't sure whether that was supposed to be an insult or a compliment, Lindsay certainly takes offence, which in turn causes Tha Puerto Rican to take offence on her behalf.

PRL
I'll have you know Lindsay is the strongest, fiestiest most dominant female in the OAOAST. The only reason she's not defending her title every week on this show is the lack of challengers with the guts to face her!

LINDSAY
Yeah, that's ri...

PRL
Quiet Lindsay, the men are talking.

LINDSAY
:huh:

MADDIX
It's funny you should say all that. Because, I'm pretty confident my girlfriend could kick your girlfriend's ass.

PRL and Landon suddenly go nose to nose.

PRL
Well, I think my girlfriend could kick your girlfriend's ass, just like I'm gonna do to you at AngleSlam.

MADDIX
Oh yeah? Prove it!

PRL
Elaborate.

MADDIX
Your bitch, one on one tonight for the Women's Title against my bitch...

MEGAN
HEY!

MADDIX
...okay, that came out wrong. But, you see the basic point, right?

PRL
Megan versus Lindsay tonight, Women's Title?

MADDIX
Exactly. We have a deal?

PRL
No problem.

LINDSAY
HEY!

Landon and PRL share a friendly handshake on figuring out what each other was talking about, before remembering they hate each other and stopping mis-shake to glare at each other. Landon and PRL then storm off in opposite directions. Forgetting to take their female counterparts with them.

MEGAN, LINDSAY & MELODY
*sigh* Men...

Megan and Lindsay glare at each other, before scuttling off after their men.

COLE
Wow! Can you believe that, we've got ourselves a Women's Title match... TONIGHT!

[Patty O'Green 0]

Don't you mean Maggie, not Melody?